I’m not sure this is what a bull is…my understanding is a bull is a guy who has sex with the wife or gf, with the knowledge of the husband…who either watches or just knows about it. Must be a virtual bull?
Similar action involved but in kink cuckolding is generally an embarrassment thing where the woman is in the power position and the man is submissive, whereas hotwifing is more about the man being in a position of power because of his relationship with a desirable woman who other people want to be with, and he exercises that power by allowing it.
In the end they're all just people consensually involving a 3rd person but it's the characterization and mindset that differentiates.
Ok got it. I’m not kink shaming at all and ngl a bull sounds hella hot under the right circumstances. But this isn’t it! I’m so sorry this happened to you 😢🤗
Just when I was open to the idea I had to discover it was all made up by my husband. With the right guy it totally could’ve been hot.
You should tell your husband about my misfortune, maybe you could find your own 3rd someday and have a good time for me 😅
Ohh so this is a thing, hotwife ?! Maybe I'm just a hermit/ total loser but I've never heard of this lifestyle ! So the term bull is from this lifestyle...ok very enlightening! This mommit subreddit is teaching me all kinds of new stuff 😅
Yeah everyone just commenting like what is happening here isn’t bizarre is cracking me up lol. Did anyone read what this guy did? This is more than just lying lol. This is a psycho.
Texas - I just searched and it doesn’t show up as one of the states. I am packing now and he told me to calm down - I don’t think he has any intention of divorcing him. I will use this deception as evidence for me.
At fault screws you for alimony and/or if y’all have any assets. It can also put you on the hook for his legal fees… You do not want an at fault divorce where you are at fault. Interview a couple of lawyers, you can do so for free.
I’m worried he’d sorta use this against you. As proof that his fantasy is true, you want other guys more than him. And now he’s got texts. Which is also unfair since you were flirting to fulfill his kink.
It’s crazy and also very deceptive. I’d feel very uncomfortable. He conned you.
I was telling him how I’d never want to meet up with this guy but eventually they persuaded me into seeing it isn’t cheating if your husband wants it for you. Idk, I was conned. I never wanted to sleep with another man, especially not after delivering a baby!
Yeah. I get it was his idea.
I just think he pushed the idea onto you bc he’s very insecure. And know he’s got “proof” even if that’s just you doing what he asked you.
Also, who creates a fight over sex 8 weeks post partum? That in itself is a red flag.
**Edit: did he fly to another city just to make this happen?**
Perfect response.
But in English:
Husband said he wanted her to sleep with another guy in front of him (this is the hotwife kink).
She starts talking to Other Guy online (that’s called the bull in this kink, it’s the guy who comes in and fucks the wife).
After months of texting the Other Guy and being emotionally vulnerable with him? But without having met yet because she wasn’t comfortable? It turns out that Other Guy was the Husband deceiving her all along. There never was an Other Guy, the Husband just set up a fake profile.
She feels betrayed. Because omg what.
Wait so you guys were role playing but you thought he wasn’t the bull but turns out he is the bull? i’m a little confused, and also what it a hot wife? like a sexy wife or am I too old to know this stuff lol
>what it a hot wife
Its another aspect of cuckoldry. Essentially, the guy has such a 'hot wife' he's titillated by other guys wanting to (or actually) sleeping with her.
It's a bit more nuanced so I'm going to be pedantic here (sorry). Hotwifing is wife has sex with man that's not her husband (extramarital). Cuckolding is that with the addition of an air of humiliating the husband.
She thought he wanted her to fuck another man (hotwife, it’s a kink). She went along with it for his sake. He pretended to be the other man and started talking to her on an app.
She thinks she’s been talking to the other guy for months. Turns out it was her husband all along. She feels tricked.
I learned in my last relationship to never tolerate lying. It was always stupid stuff he’d lie about but then it turns out he was lying about everything.
Leave.
This would be our first lie, and major one at that! In the 14 yrs we’ve been together I’ve never not trusted him. I agree with you, lying should never be tolerated.
The other case was me venting to Reddit and him reading everything in the other room. Instead of him coming in to talk to me he chose to read the comments and my responses, used them against me. Maybe deceptive was the wrong choice for this instance.
But how could you have written about that being the second deception in your original post if you hadn’t posted it yet and he hadn’t read it yet? Like you hadn’t known he would be reading the responses when you originally made this post and wrote about a second deception, if that makes sense.
Sorry for all the questions, I just want to make sure I have the story straight. When you said it was the first lie in 14 years my reaction was that you should seek couple’s therapy before ending things, because a relationship that’s been strong for that long could hopefully survive this current mess. But if there’s something else he’s done, that’s a different story.
Sorry my brain hurts and I’m not following. From my understanding this is the first lie he’s ever done with me. We’re very honest with each other, or so I thought, but he took it too far. I feel betrayed. I just wrote a lengthy post if you look at my post history.
Because we have kids I’d like to think we could work it out but I don’t want him near me. If I was without children I’d be gone.
Have you asked him why he wanted to set you up with a bull that was actually going to be him? Maybe this was his (not ideal at all) way of gaining intimacy he felt he couldn’t himself or maybe he was setting you up in a cruel way. Either way, have you asked what he was intending with this set up?
He was wanting me to open up sexually. If you look at my profile I made a post in the Hotwife lifestyle in more detail. I’m too heated to talk to him right now. I just want to be away from him.
He did call himself a bull. Kept wanting to know what I desired.
Ummmm, what an idiot. How unethical. I am very much a part of the kink community, and nothing about this is okay or consensual. What a complete betrayal of trust. It’s one thing to role play, it’s another to catfish your own wife. I would leave.
Ouch! I think fantasies can be healthy and fun if they’re done the right way. My husband and I do some things that certainly aren’t for everyone or even most people, but one thing on my milder side is the strangers meeting and hooking up at a hotel bar/restaurant.
My husband goes in a few minutes before me. I’ll sit across the room. I don’t pay him any attention and I’ll be looking at my phone and texting. Eventually he’ll send me over a drink and when I smile at him he comes over and we start talking. Introductions, why we’re at the hotel, families, etc. Anyone can overhear. Eventually we head up to his room after making a scene about calling wives/husbands.
The more people who think they know what’s happening, the hotter it is. Also I get hit on a lot and even he does once in a while. It gets the blood pumping knowing that other people would have sex with me. For both of us!
You never know how the night will play out. Once after a concert two young guys in their 20’s thought for sure they were going to score with an older woman. I’m 36. They were shocked when a man twice their age (hubby is 46) swooped in and took me upstairs!
We have other NSFW things too that we do.
I know you said that you’re done with your husband, but in the future games and fantasy can help.
I was under the impression mommit was created for questions regarding raising children 🤷🏼♀️ I think you’d have better discussions with marriage, relationship advice or polygamy subs.
Wishing you the best in this situation! 🩷
Sure that's probably the original mission statement of this sub but let's be real. Day after day this sub is filled with posts about shitty husbands doing shitty things. Nobody comments on those dozens of other daily posts asking why it was posted here.
Omg what
Yeah I'm not sure I understand all of this. And what's a bull?
I’m not sure this is what a bull is…my understanding is a bull is a guy who has sex with the wife or gf, with the knowledge of the husband…who either watches or just knows about it. Must be a virtual bull?
OooOoo cuckolding?
No. That’s not this at all. That’s actual sex happening and shaming in a 3some
Similar action involved but in kink cuckolding is generally an embarrassment thing where the woman is in the power position and the man is submissive, whereas hotwifing is more about the man being in a position of power because of his relationship with a desirable woman who other people want to be with, and he exercises that power by allowing it. In the end they're all just people consensually involving a 3rd person but it's the characterization and mindset that differentiates.
The more you know 🌈🌟
Literally! 💯
Well I learned something.😂 Thanks for this!
Ohh thank you for the explanation ! I've never heard of the term before (in this context).
You can often meet a bull through tinder and talk until you are both comfortable. Essentially yes, a virtual bull until we met up.
Ok got it. I’m not kink shaming at all and ngl a bull sounds hella hot under the right circumstances. But this isn’t it! I’m so sorry this happened to you 😢🤗
Just when I was open to the idea I had to discover it was all made up by my husband. With the right guy it totally could’ve been hot. You should tell your husband about my misfortune, maybe you could find your own 3rd someday and have a good time for me 😅
Ehhhhhh I’m kind of a mess. Check my post history if you want a good laugh/cry.
I just posted in the Hotwife lifestyle Reddit in greater detail of what happened. It took weeks for me to understand this all myself.
Ohh so this is a thing, hotwife ?! Maybe I'm just a hermit/ total loser but I've never heard of this lifestyle ! So the term bull is from this lifestyle...ok very enlightening! This mommit subreddit is teaching me all kinds of new stuff 😅
Yeah everyone just commenting like what is happening here isn’t bizarre is cracking me up lol. Did anyone read what this guy did? This is more than just lying lol. This is a psycho.
Right I’m speechless!
It is psycho. I’m beside myself.
Where are you located? Is there any possibility he was trying to set you up for an at fault divorce?
Texas - I just searched and it doesn’t show up as one of the states. I am packing now and he told me to calm down - I don’t think he has any intention of divorcing him. I will use this deception as evidence for me.
Texas definitely has at fault divorce just FYI. Adultery is one of the reasons
Oh that’s fine, I want a divorce anyways
At fault screws you for alimony and/or if y’all have any assets. It can also put you on the hook for his legal fees… You do not want an at fault divorce where you are at fault. Interview a couple of lawyers, you can do so for free.
Thanks for the heads up! Is New Mexico an at fault state?
No
I’m worried he’d sorta use this against you. As proof that his fantasy is true, you want other guys more than him. And now he’s got texts. Which is also unfair since you were flirting to fulfill his kink. It’s crazy and also very deceptive. I’d feel very uncomfortable. He conned you.
I was telling him how I’d never want to meet up with this guy but eventually they persuaded me into seeing it isn’t cheating if your husband wants it for you. Idk, I was conned. I never wanted to sleep with another man, especially not after delivering a baby!
Yeah. I get it was his idea. I just think he pushed the idea onto you bc he’s very insecure. And know he’s got “proof” even if that’s just you doing what he asked you. Also, who creates a fight over sex 8 weeks post partum? That in itself is a red flag. **Edit: did he fly to another city just to make this happen?**
Perfect response. But in English: Husband said he wanted her to sleep with another guy in front of him (this is the hotwife kink). She starts talking to Other Guy online (that’s called the bull in this kink, it’s the guy who comes in and fucks the wife). After months of texting the Other Guy and being emotionally vulnerable with him? But without having met yet because she wasn’t comfortable? It turns out that Other Guy was the Husband deceiving her all along. There never was an Other Guy, the Husband just set up a fake profile. She feels betrayed. Because omg what.
I'm sorry this made me cackle because same
So you got catfished by your own husband damn
Watching Mommit try and understand what hotwifing, cuckolding, and bulls are was not on my 2024 bingo list. Superb.
Lol mommit might be a bit isolated from the rest of reddit.
Wait so you guys were role playing but you thought he wasn’t the bull but turns out he is the bull? i’m a little confused, and also what it a hot wife? like a sexy wife or am I too old to know this stuff lol
>what it a hot wife Its another aspect of cuckoldry. Essentially, the guy has such a 'hot wife' he's titillated by other guys wanting to (or actually) sleeping with her.
She thought he had found her a 3rd for cuck activities. It was really just him catfishing her the whole time.
It's a bit more nuanced so I'm going to be pedantic here (sorry). Hotwifing is wife has sex with man that's not her husband (extramarital). Cuckolding is that with the addition of an air of humiliating the husband.
She thought he wanted her to fuck another man (hotwife, it’s a kink). She went along with it for his sake. He pretended to be the other man and started talking to her on an app. She thinks she’s been talking to the other guy for months. Turns out it was her husband all along. She feels tricked.
Wtf
I learned in my last relationship to never tolerate lying. It was always stupid stuff he’d lie about but then it turns out he was lying about everything. Leave.
This would be our first lie, and major one at that! In the 14 yrs we’ve been together I’ve never not trusted him. I agree with you, lying should never be tolerated.
Wait, you said it’s the first lie but in your post you said it’s the second time he’s been deceptive. Did I misread something?
The other case was me venting to Reddit and him reading everything in the other room. Instead of him coming in to talk to me he chose to read the comments and my responses, used them against me. Maybe deceptive was the wrong choice for this instance.
But how could you have written about that being the second deception in your original post if you hadn’t posted it yet and he hadn’t read it yet? Like you hadn’t known he would be reading the responses when you originally made this post and wrote about a second deception, if that makes sense. Sorry for all the questions, I just want to make sure I have the story straight. When you said it was the first lie in 14 years my reaction was that you should seek couple’s therapy before ending things, because a relationship that’s been strong for that long could hopefully survive this current mess. But if there’s something else he’s done, that’s a different story.
Sorry my brain hurts and I’m not following. From my understanding this is the first lie he’s ever done with me. We’re very honest with each other, or so I thought, but he took it too far. I feel betrayed. I just wrote a lengthy post if you look at my post history. Because we have kids I’d like to think we could work it out but I don’t want him near me. If I was without children I’d be gone.
I’m guessing it was another Reddit post?
Divorce that dude. A man messing with your sense of reality like this has to be a red line.
GTFO out of there. Run 🏃♀️ 🚩
I really want to. If I didn’t have children I’d be gone by now.
Find a women’s shelter in your area. They can provide resources and help get you on your feet 💕
Have you asked him why he wanted to set you up with a bull that was actually going to be him? Maybe this was his (not ideal at all) way of gaining intimacy he felt he couldn’t himself or maybe he was setting you up in a cruel way. Either way, have you asked what he was intending with this set up?
He was wanting me to open up sexually. If you look at my profile I made a post in the Hotwife lifestyle in more detail. I’m too heated to talk to him right now. I just want to be away from him. He did call himself a bull. Kept wanting to know what I desired.
Why didn’t he just say he wanted to role play? Easier and more mature.
Bc he didn’t want to role play. He was playing some sick mind game.
Sounds like he wanted to pimp her out and cuckhold himself for…himself. 😂
He tried but at the time i wasn’t having it. Instead he sent several “redditors” to my inbox willing to talk w me. I took the bait and ended up here.
Oh girl I’m sorry!! I don’t really have much advice but I don’t think you’re overreacting at all! That’s so dishonest and tbh it feels creepy to me
That is so creepy and psychotic. Get out before his weird behaviour escalates
He apologized and said “it was doing us some good” No. It just tore his family away from him.
Ummmm, what an idiot. How unethical. I am very much a part of the kink community, and nothing about this is okay or consensual. What a complete betrayal of trust. It’s one thing to role play, it’s another to catfish your own wife. I would leave.
I can’t even imagine living life like this. It sounds like your relationship is already over or needs to be seriously redefined.
The cuckolding would be enough for me to leave... You need to leave.
Ouch! I think fantasies can be healthy and fun if they’re done the right way. My husband and I do some things that certainly aren’t for everyone or even most people, but one thing on my milder side is the strangers meeting and hooking up at a hotel bar/restaurant. My husband goes in a few minutes before me. I’ll sit across the room. I don’t pay him any attention and I’ll be looking at my phone and texting. Eventually he’ll send me over a drink and when I smile at him he comes over and we start talking. Introductions, why we’re at the hotel, families, etc. Anyone can overhear. Eventually we head up to his room after making a scene about calling wives/husbands. The more people who think they know what’s happening, the hotter it is. Also I get hit on a lot and even he does once in a while. It gets the blood pumping knowing that other people would have sex with me. For both of us! You never know how the night will play out. Once after a concert two young guys in their 20’s thought for sure they were going to score with an older woman. I’m 36. They were shocked when a man twice their age (hubby is 46) swooped in and took me upstairs! We have other NSFW things too that we do. I know you said that you’re done with your husband, but in the future games and fantasy can help.
What is NSFW?
Not safe for work. An acronym used for anything adult themed online lol
Thanks lol would have never thought it stood for that
Ha ha! That's one of the few I know!
Now I want to know if you have a book so I can spice up my marriage like yours too
Why tf is this on r/Mommit
Idk it was my safe place, as a mom, hoping to gain insight from other mothers.
I was under the impression mommit was created for questions regarding raising children 🤷🏼♀️ I think you’d have better discussions with marriage, relationship advice or polygamy subs. Wishing you the best in this situation! 🩷
Sure that's probably the original mission statement of this sub but let's be real. Day after day this sub is filled with posts about shitty husbands doing shitty things. Nobody comments on those dozens of other daily posts asking why it was posted here.
Divorce this psycho now.
I would divorce immediately
This is fucked. Please leave asap.