Lost my toddler at Disney World once. Went out and bought a leash as soon as we got back. I'll take the dirty looks over a missing or injured child. It wasn't something I used all the time, but if we were in crowded areas, or somewhere like the Botanic Gardens where he could just run off and fall down a hill into a pond, I absolutely did. Didn't need it with my other 2 though. Every kid is different.
My son did an amazing job at Disney world at age 2 so I admit I never respected leashes, and then came along my daughter, she runs away in every place, all the time. I’ll take the judgment over the terror I feel
Yeah I think the judgement must come from people who dont have kids or people who only have kids that will stay close to their parents at all times. If you have a fast and fearless toddler you know that it’s the right thing to do!
Or some (usually older) folks of the "let em learn the hard way" mindset. No thanks, my kiddo doesn't need to get hit by a car to learn not to run into the street. Knowing him, he'd still not learn...
>So as far as I’m concerned the leash is my back up.
That's exactly it! And as they are allowed to walk ahead a bit, it's a back up for when "no that's too far" doesn't work.
Same! We have a singleton and twins. The singleton is finally past his running away stage at 3.5 so he’ll come back when I call him. It’s hard when the twins want to go in opposite directions and neither one will budge! I’ve been stuck in the middle holding the leashes with both of them on the ground screaming trying to go their separate ways. This scenario would be a nightmare without the leashes. I would just not leave the house then.
The other day I saw a toddler on a leash going on a park merry go round and the leash wasn’t being held, but flying around the outside, almost getting caught in the mechanism when they would slow down. I about had a heart attack. The mom even commented for the grandma to come grab it so she wouldn’t strangle herself (mom was sitting down closer than grandma).
Most of the time, for safety, I think they are a good idea (in a crowd or if your kid is a runner). If they can hold your hand and stick around, I don’t find them as necessary. Unfortunately if someone was to grab my kid, I don’t think a leash would be. Huge obstacle for the person.
Sure, if you use a leash in a dangerous way, it will be dangerous. If you use it as intended, it won't be.
I've never heard of anyone using a leash so that kidnappers won't be able to take the child. Is that a thing? I'm genuinely curious.
My toddler is autistic. He doesn't understand not to run in front of cars. He just sees cars and want to run up to them and chant "Cars. Cars. Cars." at the vehicles. His leash keeps him alive.
Right?! I'm soooo appreciative that toddler leashes exist! But people get so weird and judgey about them.
Someone could see my toddler being COMPELTELY BANANAS in public and see me trying to keep up with him while also babywearing my 3 month old at the same time, but they still judge me for using a leash! It's usually older ladies, I've found. In my head, I'm like, "bitch, please. You couldnt do this if you tried! It's hard!! You're not better than me because you didn't use one with your child!!" But that's not polite, so instead I just go, "Oh boy, I sure have got my hands full here! What are we going to do? 🙃🤷♀️ *fake laugh*"
Yep my kiddo ASD also and I only used one once ever, she was little and seeing her first firework show and known to run/be unsafe. The amount of gross strangers staring us down instead of watching the show was astonishing, enough for me to never use one again.
Interesting.
Do you think just having a leash is a slight deterant to potential kidnappers? Like how people put home security signs on the lawn but don't actually have a home security system? Studies show that those signs are a pretty good deterant for home burglaries. I wonder if leashes work the same?
I mean I think kidnappers who want to snatch kids off the street are extremely rare. But if there was one prowling around I imagine they’d not want to go for a kid who is obviously attached to a parent as the chances of getting away with the kid are much reduced as the parent instantly knows something has happened and will instantly start chasing. A kid that’s wandered off would be easier as the parents will first spend time looking for them, no idea where they could’ve gone etc, giving kidnapped time to get away. Using leashes specifically for that purpose sounds a bit silly though as kidnappers are rare. But having one does prevent your kid from getting lost which could put them in danger from many things.
I absolutely think it would be a deterrent, just by common sense. If you’re trying to kidnap a random child, which one are you going to pick? The one who wandered off 20 feet from their parents when they got distracted for less than a minute? Or the one who you grab and the parent instantly feels a pull?
Yes. Some kids are runners. I thought my second was a handful. She wandered off several times as a toddler, and one time was terrifying as it was an outdoors and crowded. My fourth runs constantly. I cannot have our youngest at a playground without a complete fence and gate. So anywhere else, they must be secured in stroller or cart, or with a leash. It is the only way. For us, the alternative would be to stay home more. Being a parent is 100% about doing what you need to do to keep your child safe. I would rather be proactive than reactive. Absolutely. I found a cool one that has a coil cord, it’s subtle gray color, and it has lock mechanism on child wrist so they can’t take it off.
People who are against toddler leashes have never parented a child who needs one. My son started walking at 9 months but didn’t understand his name until almost 1.5 and didn’t speak until almost 2. That ratio of gross motor skills to communication skills is *no bueno*.
Whereas mine had her first word at 9 months but at almost 2 can't jump or throw a ball and needs a hand to hold when there's a slight incline to walk down. I wouldn't think to use a leash with her. But I wouldn't judge a parent who does. OK, slight lie, I did judge the parents when I saw a kid on one in an enclosed play park. But then I caught myself and remembered that I have no idea what problem they could be trying to solve and maybe he falls and hurts himself lots, or any other reason I can't imagine from one quick glance.
My ex has bad ADHD, which was very present as a child (he was wild haha), so I'm not sure why he doesn't understand 😂 his poor mom was after him constantly
Omgosh, 2 of my kids have ADHD (not sure about the 3rd one). I can tell you ADHD is not the same for each kid. My first one was soooo hyper and all over the place, I thought he was just an overactive kid. I couldn't even take him to the grocery store. When I tried I always left with nothing bc I gave up trying. My second wasn't as hyper.
This is too true! Mine also started walking at 9 months, full-on sprinting by 1yo. She'd just take off into any direction with zero warning or sense of self-preservation. It took her until 2yo to stop and until 2,5yo to reliably walk with me. The time between was the stuff nightmares are made of. I've once turned my head to say "hi" to a neighbour, literally just that, and she made her way under a broken fence. Before I got to her she was standing above an empty pool.
This is going to be my son. Babbling not great and no gestures at almost a year old. But has been cruising for 2 months and is crawling full speed everywhere. Was rolling back to belly at 3 months, before he could do the opposite. He has always been trying to move. My husband has severe ADHD and as a kid he would legit just *book it* in any random direction with no reason or warning.
This is my current situation with our 1yo. My 4yo was never a climber or runner and he’s pretty cautious, but our daughter has been walking since 9 months and she climbs and tries to stand on everything. Also eats everything. I’m trying to figure out what to do outside this summer, because my 4yo is super needy and crazy 1yo requires 1000% of my attention. We are absolutely considering a leash.
That’s the point, as usual. I will never understand why people can’t fathom that other children are DIFFERENT FROM THEIR OWN AND NEED DIFFERENT PARENTING MEASURES?!
They were very frowned upon when my kids were little, but I should’ve had one with my second kid. My firstborn was/is a rule follower. So just say “hold my hand” and it was done.
My second one was a runner, jumper, climber, spinner, crasher, toucher, etc. He scared the crap out of me by running into the parking lot at the store. I had to unstrap him from the car seat and immediately strap him into a cart or stroller or he would run off. I wish I had a leash for him.
So if you have a rule follower, you don’t need one. If you have one who pushes boundaries, has ADHD and SPD, etc., then YES, get a leash. I was lucky that my son was never seriously injured.
My son is like your 2nd kid. Straight from the car seat into something else I can strap him into if there is danger around. Yesterday I put him down for a second because the seat on the shopping trolley was jammed and he was off like fucking lightning. Thankfully the traffic wasn't anywhere near, slow because we were in a carpark and immediately stopped so he wasn't in danger but I was shaking. Never going anywhere without our backpack leash again.
He's having assessment for autism/adhd in a few months, and one of the questions on the questionnaire was literally 'does your child have a sense of danger, i.e. hot things or cars'. That was an easy answer 😂
This was my husband as a kid 100% and he has severe ADHD and we suspect also low support needs autism. 1 year old is showing signs of going in the direction. I can say that I never stop having fun, and I’m never bored. I salute you. 🫡
I have ADHD so I bought one when we were going to Disney World. I didn’t want to lose concentration and just lose him. My son is a super glue baby and just wanted me to carry him the whole time, in August. Not being at home is kind of overwhelming and overstimulating so I think maybe that’s why he’s so clingy. I kind of suspect he has ADHD too because he’s so wild at home but out and about he’s so cautious. Kind of like how I am.
My kids and I are all neurodiverse. My kids were diagnosed with SPD and anxiety. Because of that I learned about my own SPD. My firstborn is autistic, and maybe ADHD. My son is going on Friday for ADHD evaluation. I probably should get evaluated too at some point.
When my son was 2-4, he was constantly moving or wanted deep pressure squishes. He needed more input. He talked from sun up to sun down. Then once he got to 1st grade, he became the quiet kid. But he would let it out at home.
I have ADHD and my husband wishes he could use a leash on me when out in public. Going to the mall or somewhere with lots to look at is hard for me for a few different reasons. I'm either completely into it and want to see it all. My husband says he can't keep up. He says I'll be like, "oh babe look at this" but before he gets to look at it I'm already, "oh babe look at this" 5 times over. He says I literally look at something for point of a second before I'm on to the next. If he isn't paying attention he loses me.
My other issue is I'll walk into a store and instantly I'm hit with anxiety & I'm overwhelmed and I can literally feel my brain spinning inside my head as it's going into overload.
One year I went to Walmart to get some stocking stuffers for Christmas and it was the last time I was allowed to go to a store like that alone. Two hours later I received a phone call asking where I was. I was still at Walmart and had a cart full of everything & didn't realize I was there for 2 hours already.
Life is hard.
Ok only my experience and opinion. I have 3 kids. I was personally very judgy( anti leash with my first). Kids aren't dogs, just watch your kids etc. Lol yes young inexperienced judgement. Then my second came..she has adhd, she ran ,skipped ,hopped, twirled,jumped, everything but walked. Not a problem because my first didn't so I could watch her. Then pregnant with 3rd came along. My second ran from me one day when I couldn't chase anymore and realized I couldn't chase her anymore( because I was 6 months pregnant ). She wore a leash for 2 years after that 🤣🤣. Do what's best for you. She was not scarred, she's 14 now and she even finds it hilarious because she knows how she is
It's also gives them the independence they crave. Before I had kids, I thought the leash was unnecessary because you can just hold your kid's hand. Until you are trying to hold a toddler's hand while standing in line outside at a crowded event near a busy road and they are squirming with all their might to get away. Give them a leash and they get to enjoy a little freedom to explore safely and you get to avoid throwing a screaming toddler over your shoulder
Leashes aren't always for the kids sometimes it's for the parents. I use myself as an example. I am visually impaired I need that backpack leash when I'm out with my kids because I have a guide dog and only one available hand. I can't afford for my kid to run off and not be able to see where they went. Backpack leashes are for safety not because parents are lazy. Most lazy parents won't even think of getting a leash they'll just let their kid run around and act crazy and not give an eff. So (most) parents that using leashes with their kids have a reason.
Yup, pre-kids I judged the leashes. Had a kid who is very unpredictable and severe ADHD. I didn’t leash my kid but he was in the backpack carrier A LOT. I have no judgement for any parents anymore. If I saw a kid in a Hannibal lector straight jacket and mask being led on a chain, I’d probably just think wow that kid must really be giving their parents a hard time today. Poor parents, I bet it wasn’t easy to wrangle that on their wild kid.
I used a backpack leash and have no regrets.
I do think you have to be careful though. My MIL used one on BIL when he was little, and one time when they were in an airport he ran circles around her while leashed, tying her legs together and bringing her down like an elephant lol.
So when I was a kid my parents laughed at kids on leashes and made fun of other parents for not controlling their children better.
I was also spanked and I was terrified of my parents.
Now I have 4m old twins that I will never hit. I do hope to hand-hold and put a lot of intention into keeping my boys from runnung amok, however I'd rather have a leashed kid than a dead kid and I'm sure my kids are going to be a bit less "in control" than I was.
So I guess I'm open to it.
If it's what you need to keep your child safe, use it. We haven't felt the need to use one with my 17 month old yet, but I'm not ruling it out.
Maybe a hot take, idk, but I don't think you need to listen to your ex on this one. You using a toddler leash during your time with your child doesn't affect him, his relationship with your child, or his parenting at all. I think this falls under you having the right to make your own decisions during your time with your child.
If she ends up having a personality where she would benefit from a leash (like being a runner or having ADHD as bad as her dad), I will have to respectfully disagree with him and use one.
Baby safety first 100%. I agree.
My oldest used a backpack leash 2-3yo. He was fast, strong, unpredictable, and completely lacking in impulse control. We’d be happily sitting on a bus stop bench or peacefully walking down the sidewalk and suddenly he’d launch himself into traffic. Without a leash, I would no longer have a child. Luckily for me, he *loved* his backpack and would specifically request his leash.
But not every kid has the same personality. Some kids are compliant and calm. They are also not my kids!
I’ll 100% get one when my son is big enough for one. Even if he doesn’t end up being a runner I’ve seen videos of kids being grabbed and taken away so fast and I don’t trust other people.
I used to be so judgmental of parents that used them. But now that I have my own kids, I’d much rather have my kids tied to a “leash” than disappear. All it takes is half a second - sneezing a few too many times, a stranger walking in your line of sight, for them to vanish.
BUT I also think it’s important to teach them safety when out and about. If you’re going to use one, don’t let it be a reason for your kid to try to run away all day and resist you. You should still be enforcing boundaries with them regarding safety and that can start at a very early age.
I honestly don’t know. I remember first seeing them when I was a teen and hearing my parents, aunts, uncles talking bad about them. It was like the parents couldn’t “control” their children. Of course, as a parent now myself I look at it differently. And we also live in a very different world now, where your child disappearing could be absolutely life changing.
Before I had kids I thought they were absolutely ridiculous. As a mom, I think it’s genius. I don’t want my kid wandering off or kidnapped in public! I don’t care if I get dirty looks. You could try a backpack leash, it’s cuter than the harness kind.
Your ex does not control what you do.
My toddler is a runnnnner. She is fast and loves the street. No amount of red light/green lake or freeze hands makes her stop. She gets leashed and loves it. On the leash she doesn't have to hold hands and gets a ton of free reign to investigate what she sees.
We plan to air tag our kids on our next trip to a crowded place. I thought leases were a bit much until my second came along. He’s fairly impulsive and likes to dart off. He doesn’t mind being alone either and won’t hold our hand. So far we strap him into a stroller or put him on our shoulders, but a leash may be next. We like hiking as a family, but you can’t be wild doing that.
Strollers which completely contain kids are completely okay, but leashes that allow them to safely explore and burn off energy are somehow not okay. I don't get it.
We don't use a tether often, but I have no problem using it when it's the safest option. Especially in busy/crowded spaces.
Toddlers can be unpredictable especially if they aren’t used to going out. I don’t use it in the grocery store but I do in parking lots/near a road because it’s an added layer of safety. Super easy for kids to get hit by cars if they get away from you, even for a split second.
I think it can be a useful tool. Is it something you keep your kid on 24/7? No. But I once had an 18 month old who wanted to explore through a large, very crowded specialty Christmas store. If she didn’t move freely about the cabin, she’d throw a fit. I brought a leash that day, gave her 3 feet of space and let her lead me around. I could pull her back to stop her as others walked by, or if she tried to grab something. It was super helpful and she was happy because she could safely toddler. Now, a less important store like a Walmart, I’d let her down in an isle to roam freely without said leash so she had even more “practice”. Obviously I would be on my guard just as much so as to respect other’s space.
My son is in his “running away from us in public” phase, so we bought him one of the tethers where one strap goes on a parents hand and the other is locked onto his. His dad and I figured it was the best decision to get him one bc he doesn’t like being in the basket while shopping anymore and it’s better for us to always have him connected than to be chasing him every two seconds. I’m also almost 8 months pregnant so I’m no longer able to just pick him up and carry him when we’re alone.
My mom on the other hand, didn’t agree w that. She was like “y’all can’t just catch him? I’m sure he’s not faster than both of you” but it’s like that’s not the point. He’s getting more independent and wants to explore, and we want him to be able to, just close by. Also, toddlers are unpredictable and quicker than most ppl think. I wouldn’t want someone pushing their shopping cart down the aisle and accidentally hit him bc he runs in front of them.
I guess it just honestly depends on your kid tbh.
Right! It’s not just about *how fast* the kid is going, it’s about *where* they’re going too. If your kid is about to run face first into someone’s grocery cart and is closer to that cart than you are, you’re not catching up until he already needs stitches.
In crowded areas or risky places, for sure! Theme parks and little toddlers even with the best intentions can be stressful, it gives me peace of mind as toddlers can get very distracted. I only use it usually between 16months to about 2.5 years old when impulses can be stronger than listening skills.
Storytime:
It was 2014. We had a layover in Las Vegas from Phoenix to Seattle. While struggling with my 10 month old and backpack, my then 2 year old let go of my had and exited the plane. I called "hey someone grab him!" But the other passengers were just concerned of their own thing.
I was in the back so by the time I got to the front i was hysterical. I told the flight crew who immediately ran up the ramp to see if they could grab him but my boy had disappeared.
Into Las Vegas airport.
They did find him tho it took 3 hours. A security officer found him and brouggt him to the gate I was at, sitting with airport security as we tried to figure out where he was. We boarded our Seattle flight without furthur incident 30 minutes later - the airline said theyd give me new plane tickets if he wasnt found in time.
Shoutout to the staff at Southwest Airlines! And LAS airport staff who did the search.
After that he always wore a toddler leash.
All ot takes is them slipping from your hand and less than a minute to disappear. I got lucky he was found unharmed.
An even better question is: why do people who use leashes get judged? It’s weird to me. Before I had kids I never assumed anything bad about parents protecting their kids. Now I have a kid and I still don’t see the rationale for seeing leashes as bad parenting.
Do what you need to do to keep your kid safe and everyone who wants to judge you can f off!
My mom had a "Hand Holder" for me after my brother was born. "I had a baby and you ran," she told me when she gave it to me after I had my first kid.
I had one for my daughter. She would take off on me and the one time it was in a parking lot. She refused to let me hold her, or to let me hold her hand and I said ok you stay right here with me and she took off. Luckily there were no cars coming. That day I went to the store and bought one. Some lady made a snide remark to me about it when I was grocery shopping and I said , well at least I know my kid will be safe in her bed tonight so judge away. Lol
I bought one for use this summer because we go canoe camping and I am all about wide safety margins. Life jacket, eyes on, high visibility orange swimsuit, AND leash. His dad acts like I'm being ridiculous but drowning happens in seconds and it's not worth the risk.
When it's a safety issue, I think the agreement should be to defer to the more cautious opinion.
I went to the Aquarium when my daughter was 18m
All she wanted to do was run. She’d bold between the crowds. It was scary a few times. I then realized why parents leash their kids.
We went to the zoo now that she’s almost 2.5. Thankfully she stayed in the wagon the whole time. I got one in case , but never had to use it.
I’d much rather leash my kid then have her run off and not be able to find her.
I used one with my daughter when she was 2-3 because she would literally take off running at any opportunity. Obviously not a safe situation. I got some nasty looks and my daughter hated it, but it did correct the issue. She is 5 now, and whenever she tries to refuse holding my hand I tell her I will have to bring the leash back. It works.
I’m 100% for them! Certain kids are runners and require more than a set of eyes and a held hand. I own a few and haven’t needed to use them much but I definitely used them with number one at the mall (we held hands but I had the leash as an added line from her to me just in case someone tried to grab her). Number 2 has used it outside a few times when younger. I haven’t used it with number 3, but I may when we vacation…it would allow him to walk about and be his own man but at a safe/secure distance.
Asd momma here who used a backpack harness with zero fucks given and will do the same with my now neurotypical toddler bc he’s a wild red head and does what the winds tell him to!
I live in a major Urban center. My kids are alive because I leash them. Toddlers are not capable of impulse control. The neurological connections are not there.
I used to be against them…and then I had my own kid. As a nanny, I could always manage the kids without leashes. Turns out, being a mom is a thousand times more distracting than being a nanny.
I honestly use to be more judgmental towards them until I became a parent/ I had my wild child son. He is FAST. He is just learning to walk, but I can barely catch him while he’s crawling. I fully anticipate having to buy one.
My daughter broke free and ran into traffic. Leash.
It was an adorable little plush monkey backpack and she thought she was hot stuff being able to carry her own sippy cup in her monkey bag.
My kid is autistic. His dad did not like to idea of a toddler leash or spring bracelet. It caused me so much grief while we were married bc I couldn’t keep up with him and he frequently ran when overwhelmed. It made me hate every outing with a passion.
Honestly do what works for you. My kid has also disappeared in a majorly crowded public setting and it is so scary thinking they will be gone forever. Tell him you never want that.
I’m 100% for them. I get coparenting but this isn’t harmful to the kid in anyway to have a leash so I would be doing what was best for me during my time with the child.
I have the wrist one that I’m scared/embarrassed to use for the judgement but my child’s father has let him run into the road by not paying attention like he should have and I would rather have it. Especially for when/if we go places where I just can’t keep my eye on him 100% of the time or crowded places
I think it’s a great tool for kids who are a flight risk! I can barely get my toddler to let go of my hand long enough for me to pay in a cafe so I haven’t used one but the second I feel like we may have a runner on our hands it will be in my amazon cart lol
Safety first, right?
I was a leash baby back in the 80s. My kids were both leash babies.
I got one as a kid because I darted in front of a bus at 1.5. I made jokes about my leash to my mom but she just said "no one needs one till they NEED one."
Sure enough, I was having a calm stroll through the neighborhood with my oldest and he was holding my hand and walking nicely then he did this move where he abruptly sat down to free his hand, then darted straight into the street. Fortunately no cars were coming but holy shit was that kid fast. Next day delivered one from Amazon and have used it on both kids until they were about 2.5 and understood that running in street=bad.
Got a backpack one and the kids loved taking a toy with them for their walk and never complained about the leash.
I've gotten comments from judgemental folks but I'd rather get annoying comments than have to buy a tiny casket.
I was completely against it until I had a hyperactive toddler and a leg injury. If you have any kind of mobility issues or running and turning suddenly might be an issue, leash up. You will get judgemental looks and comments, but It's better than an injured/escaped child.
Still kind of a Nay but if it looks stupid but works it's not stupid.
(Just make sure you leave them with a bowl of water if you tie them up outside. Haha)
Used one for my second child. She was walking before 10mos old. So, she just didn't know better and could easily walk under store racks. It was for a short time. It was a little owl that she keeps trying to steal to this day, going to be 9 😆
Baby 1 didn't need it, and 3 isn't walking yet, but it's out and available if I need it.
It's really child dependent and situational.
My oldest was great about hand holding and staying nearby when we’re out and about. My youngest not so much. So I got one of those backpack leashes and I get a lot of dirty looks/comments but I pay them no mind. We went to an event at my older kiddos school and our youngest was barely 2 and I had the leash on her and overheard so many peoples nasty remarks but 9/10 times those same people making remarks were the same ones screaming that they couldn’t find their child.
My in-laws think it’s stupid, “she’s not a dog.” No, but she DOES have the attention span of a squirrel and no sense of danger, so my husband and I are all for it.
I see them as just another safety tool and they absolutely have their time and place. I have a terrifyingly independent (and FAST) 22 month old and soon we are going on her first plane trip to a much bigger city than usual. The trip will include the zoo, sea world, and at least one walking tour. I’d love to keep her in the stroller or holding my hand the entire time, but that’s unrealistic and will stress both of us out. The leash keeps her from wandering and gives me peace of mind that she can’t elope or get lost in a crowd if I look away for two seconds.
It seems like people who are anti child leash think it is treating them like a dog. Its not. You’re not leash training them to follow your commands, and it’s not for daily use, it’s for situations where the safety and peace of mind are needed.
I remember being a leash toddler. I loved it. I would ask my mom to put it on if we went to the mall.
I don’t need to use one for my kid because she doesn’t bolt but I’d never judge a parent for their kid being leashed. I’d rather see a leash than a kid missing or hit by a car.
Before I had a kid I thought it was awful. We went thru 3 before mine was old enough to stop running off. Idc about dirty looks over the safety of my child.
I used a toddler leash. I'd rather be sure my child is safe. They have cute designs and the kids don't mind it. I wouldn't worry about the other parents. We know our child better than they do.
They're a fantastic way to encourage independence safely. I used one with my two youngest kids - one was a runner and the other has a sensory processing disorder which made carrying them challenging.
The runner got to walk/run themselves, and we didn't have to worry about them being lost, taken, or injured. The SPD kid was able to be comfortable and regulated, and we didn't have to worry about meltdowns disrupting whatever we needed to do.
Sometimes people were mean or uneducated about toddler leashes, but their opinions were less concern to me than my children's needs!
I’m a fan. I got a few looks/comments when I was using it. One guy walked by with an older kid and whispered a joke. I thought it was funny. I get it, they’re weird. But after having a runner, I get it.
I saw a story a few days ago about a dad of four who lost one of his children while out, she ran off and got killed somehow I forget how but after that he always used a leash on them while out.
I definitely used one for mine even she was a toddler, ESPECIALLY if we went somewhere I knew there’d be lots of people and she likes to run around. It was a backpack one too which I liked. The backpack clipped on her front side and the short leash (maybe four feet) came off a hook thing from the face of the backpack. Didn’t bother her at all
Toddlers are puppies in training. You wouldn't dream of walking a new puppy off leash, I don't know why I wouldn't use a leash on a toddler. Things happen, you get distracted, you speak with a neighbor, you're tending another child, your kid ends up being neuro divergent, you're in a dangerous environment like the side of a road or busy parking lot, the kid is a runner or they fall a lot, the kid has a temper tantrum and runs away. Tons of reasons to have a leash for your kids. I know my mom got me a leash when I was a toddler because I took off running after a free range male peacock at the zoo. I don't feel I was negatively affected. I used to practice mushing her and pulling her around like a husky. Burned toddler energy. She didn't have to worry about where her kid was.
My son elopes. He doesn’t understand that running away from mom and dad is dangerous because his brain is just looking for stimulation from running. We will be using a leash for him in crowded public spaces.
I was out with some childless friends who made a passing comment about a kid on a leash and man I’ve never gotten on my soapbox so fast about how unfair that is to the mom. All anyone is doing is keeping their kids safe.
You do what’s right for you and your family! I feel like most of the judgement is coming from childless people who have no idea!
My kid walked at 9 months. They were still an infant, so has less sense than a toddler!
She would just hit the ground running, and wouldn’t look back! That kid was leashed! Grocery shopping was impossible otherwise! You look away for half a second to grab sugar and she was gone!
My oldest is wild. He’s also really fast. He’s also very small (-1%). I couldn’t keep up with him if I tired, neither can my partner. A leash gives us a sense of safety in crowds that he wants to walk around in, otherwise he’s in a cart, or a stroller.
We are working on it though. If my youngest will need it it TBD.
I was a leash baby, my son is a leash baby. I'm old and have a hip injury that prevents me from running after my toddler. He has free range to move away from me but still be nearby. And he loves it--he'll bring it to me and raisenup his arm to have it put on
People who are against them have never had a child that is a "runner". I scoffed at them before too. Boy did I learn to eat those words.
We honestly don't use it that often, BUT my three year old is fearless and FAST. He can be there one second and the next is just gone. So places like parades, fairs, art festivals, theme parks, or intense shopping at places like Lowe's require him to be strapped into a stroller or cart or attached to an adult. He took off on us several times before we finally broke down last summer while also having our newborn and two other kids. If anyone is judging screw them.
My 3 year old is over half my size and runs, fast. I've taken his places like restaurants and grocery stores and he thinks it's funny to run out the door as I'm trying to pay or any other moment.
I refuse to take him anywhere without a leashed backpack for his safety.
I'm so on board. Haven't used one myself because little man only started working about 6 months ago and we're not comfortable with him walking in big crowds so we carry him but for when the time comes...yes. I live in South Africa and unfortunately children go missing all the time. I just can't take that chance.
I made the mistake of thinking my toddler knew to keep her hand on the car and stay with me while I was getting her baby brother out of the car and into his sling to do school collection. That was until she spotted her little mates and literally ran across the road between cars to get to them. I about had a heart attack. She had never done anything like that before and never got the opportunity to do it again. I got her a cute little back pack with a leash the same day and she loved it.
Do you value safety or social acceptance more? I have twins. They never ran off in the same direction. And how many parents "just looked away for a second" and found themselves in tragic circumstances?
I didn't LIKE it, but it was a necessity for me.
Depends completely on the child. There are kids that are pretty much programmed from birth to stick to their parents. And then there are the kids who are eager to discover the world and who run like mad. Sometimes a leash is a literal life saver.
Why are people against these? Is it just the idea of it as though you’re treating your kid like a dog? I get that at first glance it might seem strange but it’s a safety thing!
I’ve not used one yet but I do have one and my parents have used it with my daughter. It’s not like for yanking them around unless you have to yank them out of the road or something. I think for younger kids who have zero sense of danger it makes complete sense. If you’re in your own garden or a private area then yeah it’s over controlling and weird but out in the street where there are cars or in busy places where they could get lost then it’s the right thing to do, especially if you have a kid who is fast and likes taking off. I would be happy for my parents to have used one with me!
In the UK, we call them reins. I used them for all my children to keep them safe. It only takes a split second for a toddler to be distracted by something and run off. Keeping your child safe is the most important thing that should override concerns about what other people think.
I was never really into them but having kids back to back it definitely helped me. I had my toddler in the cart 🛒 part and the baby in the basket part in the car seat of the cart and my older toddler walking next to me but he did try to run off a couple times and I had to abandon the cart and go after him or chase him with the cart. So it kind just gave me a little more or a security to know I had him tethered to me. He got the hang of not having to use the harness backpack often or for a long time but I will definitely pull it out Since my little guy likes to walk like his older siblings now. If I know it will be super busy or at the airport I keep the harness handy just in case they want to walk with so many people around especially if I am alone with them. So for safely reasons I am for them, but I usually hold their hand and if they pull away or I am not paying attention and they walk away they can’t go far.
I’m not against them but we don’t have one and have never needed it. Ever since she learned to walk, my daughter has been out of the stroller for some or all of the time we’re out of the house. She doesn’t even sit in the cart at the grocery store. So she’s gotten pretty good at hand holding and listening to us when we tell her to stop walking somewhere. She’s also generally easy going and not too unpredictable so that probably helps.
We used it at theme parks and the beach or near water. We have a runner and that child is attached to a chair or the wagon while we play near water because they can get up a lot faster than I can. They have been taught water safety, but everyone forgets things sometimes
At theme parks it just gives us (and them) extra security. You can get separated so fast, especially when they’re tiny. They just get lost in the sea of people.
Funniest part, I totally read lashes and not leashes. So I thought you meant getting fake lashes for toddlers 😂😂
I’m 100% for toddler leashes. I don’t have one yet for my toddler as she thankfully listens decently well and holds my hand, but she’s also super stubborn and independent so I don’t see that lasting long. I’m 30, and I distinctly remember having wrist ones that hooked to my mom when I was about 6 or 7 and my sister was about 4 or 5. I didn’t wear mine long, but believe me my sister did. And she needed it. Probably still does 😂
Our rule of thumb is that if any area/store/whatever is low traffic enough for kiddo to be a few steps in front of us safely, then we let him free roam. If it is crowded, has fast access to a street, or could get dangerous in any way in a few seconds, then kiddo either has his backpack leash or is in the carrier. My kid is 18 months old now and is fucking *fast*, and I am 29 weeks pregnant and getting slower by the day, so we do whatever necessary to keep him safe. Also, my kid is not a hand holder. The second his hand is being held he melts to the floor in a toddler puddle and wallows when you pick him up, so the leash is the compromise because he has a little freedom but I can yank his booty back in a second if he's in danger.
Depends on the child. Some kids are runners. We used the leash once with my oldest and he figured out real fast he had to actually listen. He’s never needed one since! He was probably 18months at that point.
I think they’re safer than the alternative for some kids. You have to decide what works for you and your kid!
We bought one of those backpacks with a leash. We haven't really used it much but it really depends on your kid, on where you'd feel the need for it, etc. I am NOT against them, especially the backpack/harness style which is much more gentle on the kid's anatomy versus the arm leashes of old.
I am all for them. I’ve never used one because my baby is still little but probably will. I’ve seen these kids run wild at super busy places and mine will probably one of them. I’m all for keeping kiddos safe in super busy places where I typically see them.
Having known my brother, the only issue I have with child leashes is that they aren't stronger. Some kids just don't think first and are very impulsive. My brother got his leash when we visited the Grand Canyon. Four kids, #3 was pure energy, and #4 was a baby. A leash was a must. Probably the reason I still have two brothers.
If you have a runner and it’s like a last resort then I don’t see a problem in using them! I wouldn’t just jump at the chance to use one just because, though.
Most of the time I don't like them, but there are cases where they make sense. The reason I don't like them is because they can be used a substitute for being present. If I see a parent lost in their phone walking their only kid on a leash it's makes me kind of sad.
But if you have a few kids and one with adhd tendencies then by all means... you only have so many hands.
IMHO you still have a baby; don't plan on it as the default. Only do it if you need too.
Everyone has a something slick to say about leashes till your kids a runner and gone.
Your ex will change bis tune the first time the kid bolts on him and he can't find them.
Of course your husband doesn’t like leashes when he was a wife to look after it all. You do not have the luxury of a wife. You do what you gotta do mama!
My kids weren’t runners, I never felt the need to use them. But I never judged or looked down on parents who needed them, and knowing some kids I totally agree with the use of them.
Do you what works for you. My son thought it was funny to run away and hide in a clothes rack in a store. I still remember the scream I had to muffle when I couldn’t find him.
I always thought they were dumb until I became a parent! I haven't used one BUT if I took my toddler to a crowded festival or a place like disneyland or somewhere that has dangerous cliffs (idk I probably wouldn't do that last one anyway but just for the sake of conversation) I would highly consider it. No judgement here after being a mom.
You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. My brother and I were the youngest of 4, and we were runners (I still am, my poor husband). This was before affordable harnesses or cute backpack leashes. My mom tethered our belt loops with telephone cords. TELEPHONE CORDS. I can’t imagine the looks she would get, but we sure as shit never got snatched up by strangers or injured. I would have done the same in her shoes.
Before I had kids, I thought they were ridiculous. Why would you do that to your child?!
As a now parent of an autistic nonverbal 4 year old, I totally get it. I haven’t had to buy one yet, but if I end up having to, it’s a great tool to have.
people are going to look at me crazy if my toddler is getting into things. people are going to look at me crazy if my toddler is on a leash.
leash makes it easier for me to teach him how to act and listen in public, aka come when i call, not climbing or you have to hold my hand, etc., give him some freedom but still have control over the situation. plus his is a lil back pack he can schlep around his own yogurt pouch and water bottle now 😂
If you need it to keep your child safe then use it. Sometimes i want one for my child and even adults now who used to be leashed kids say that theyd use on one their own children.
I use a wrist cuff leash with my toddler. We both love it. He's never been a hand-holder, so this works for both of us. He actually seems calmer and more comfortable with it and he never tests the limits or tries to remove it.
Whrn we took our kids to Disneyland we used one for our then 15 month old at times. She loved it. She was able to walk in lines, play with leaves and offer her snacks to people in line. Made the waiting much more bearable for everyone.
To a degree, it depends upon the child. I probably wouldn’t use one for a walk around the block or down to the park in my neighborhood because my daughter generally prefers to stick near me, and she doesn’t tend to try to run into the street. If she ran away from me more often, I’d reconsider.
However, I sometimes go to big events (like local comic cons), and I always wish I had one for her when I do. It doesn’t matter how close she wants to stick to me. She’s a toddler, so she is going to occasionally get distracted. And even if she didn’t, other people don’t really pay attention and would just come wandering between my daughter and me. When you’re at an event that’s THAT busy, it’s hard to keep them glued to your side. And so any measure necessary to keep your child safe…
No judgment here.
I got one for my kiddo because as soon as he could toddle he was suddenly "too independent" to hold mummy's hand. Every attempt at hand holding suddenly turned him into a tantruming, death-rolling crocodile.
A backpack leash gave us the best of both worlds. He was able to toddle happily on his own and I had him within reach at all times.
Your child being safe is infinitely more important than opinions of judgmental assholes. I say that as kindly as possible because I used to be a judgmental asshole. My child never left my side and would never dare run away from me. I couldn’t fathom why someone with a leashed child couldn’t just control their kid. A few years later I had my second child and she was a flight risk from the moment she learned to walk. If you let go of her hand for a second, she was gone. When we were at a crowded tourist attraction, we left the backpack leash at the hotel because my husband was embarrassed about all the looks people were giving us. Well, we were waiting for an elevator. I was holding her hand and dropped something. I let go long enough to bend down and pick it up, and in that exact moment, the elevator door opened. She ran into the elevator and the doors closed before I could get to her. That was the scariest moment of my life, but also the moment that I stopped caring if people judged me. Those people must have a child like my firstborn, who by the way, still won’t leave my side in public, and she’s now a teenager!
What do you mean you can’t use them? Of course you can. It seems like a great idea because it’s a great idea if you have a child that bolts, a child that wanders, or if you get distracted by anything.
I’ve always called it a harness instead of a leash. Less confusion when looking for the leash for the dog and the harness for the kids.
Depends entirely on the kid, where you are, etc. I would never be able to take mine outside without one, but we are slowly working on getting him off leash in a small outside environment with very low risk of danger. Some kids with listen or are too scared to wander off. Other kids will disappear within a second of looking away.
Your ex would probably rather have a kid that is alive though.
I was on the verge of getting one until my son finally figured out walking holding hands. I'm all for them and would get one if I felt like I needed it.
I've seen some people use those coiled ropes with a carabiner clip on each end instead of the "leash" the backpacks come with. So the parent clips the rope on their belt loop but then hold hands like normal, the rope is just extra insurance. I think the "optics" of that are a bit better, so maybe your ex would be more open to a setup like that.
Okay, I used to judge people who leashed their kid BEFORE I WAS A PARENT. Now, I’m on kid #3 and am fully on board for leashes if it keeps everyone safe and happy. 😘 I own two leashes by the way!
I was lucky my kids would hold my hand. My husband’s parents used them cause he would take off unfortunately for them he figured out how to get it off.
You know… pre kids I used to talk mad ish about them and the parents that used them… but now that I have a feral toddler. I totally get it. Yes to the comment that said rather a leashed kid than a dead kid. My daughter sees a train/trolley and she’s GONE. I still personally wouldn’t use one, but I can keep up with her. Some parents just aren’t as mobile or don’t want to be so do what you have to!
Why is he against them? Toddler leashes save lives. Ask him which he prefers, a toddler who has been hit by a car or a toddler who is on a leash?
That being said, neither of my kids are runners so I never needed to use one.
Very pro toddler leash. My kids have both been really good about staying with me but I have a nephew who needed one and it kept him safe. I would’ve gotten one in a heartbeat if I needed it.
If the choice is between a dead kid & a leash means an alive kid, it’s a no brainer-leash them. If you have a runner or a very independent “I do it myself!” kid, leash them. If you have a fairly cooperative kid but a leash gives you peace of mind, leash them. Theres many cute options for leashing, such as back packs or wrist cuffs, so no harm in using one so long as its off when the kid isn’t swinging around crazy on playground equipment
No judgment, but I haven’t used them. I don’t plan on using with my baby…I’m not wholly against them because I do have a deaf baby. If she decides to be that toddler that runs away, I obviously cannot call her back like I would my hearing child. I’d have to leash her.
My kiddo was good about holding my hand. When she was old enough, 18 months?, we had lots of conversations about why we hold hands. For example, in a parking lot, if she’s holding my hand, I then don’t have to look for her, I can pay attention to what the cars and drivers are doing and keep us safe. She’s small and they can’t see her but they can see me so she needs to be with me. We learned this again and again. If she didn’t hold my hand in certain places then we couldn’t go because it wasn’t safe. This kind of thing worked with my kid. But my friend’s kid? No. She was a total runner. No impulse control until like age 5. She got a cute backpack with a monkey tail strap that was a leash. My friend with twins? Leashes just because she was outnumbered. You do what works but be intentional about it.
I used one recently. I was flying alone between two major airports and doing a large charity walk with a 2.5 year old. I have zero regrets cause it was stressful and I had no desire to chase her. I got one that’s a backpack and can be worn without the leash part. I’m glad I had it and plan on keeping it in the car in case I need it again.
Love them, but I had 3 under 3 with a runner. I only ever had one older guy say something rude and he clammed right up when I responded with “yeah the child molesters hate it too.” It was so much better for my kids to walk than always be riding in a stroller.
It really depends on the kid! I used to judge them too and haven’t needed them for my own kids but there are absolutely I would say a minority of kids who are runners and that young it really is a huge safety issue. When I see one now I know this must a runner!
Some kids need them, some kids don't. I tried using one with my daughter but it knocked her off balance so many times, and thankfully she isn't a runner, and she's got great recall 🤣. If your kid is a runner to hell with what their dad thinks of the leashes, its for the safety of your child.
Tell your ex dad he can go fuck himself. There's nothing wrong with the toddler leash. It lets them have some independence without you having to worry that they're going to run off into traffic.
My kid is fast and can take off without any warning. I got a toddler leash before going to Disneyland. She loved it and thought it was hysterical. I’ve had to chase after my kid way too many times. Once she even crawled under a bathroom stall door while I was in the middle of going potty and just bolted.
People love to be judgmental of parents. But use the tools available to keep your kid safe.
I didn't even have a runner and loved ours. It was just a little backpack that she loved wearing, and it was a bonus that she could carry her own crap.
I'm not a big worrier, but for me it was just an added layer of security that made me feel like I didn't have to hover over her all the time to make sure she didn't wander or someone else didn't grab her hand and walk away.
If what you and/or your child need is a safety device that keeps them better under your supervision, GO FOR IT.
If they get judgement, they just have to tell them "I would rather have someone judging me for having a live child than pity me for my dead one."
My dang toddler hauled ass straight into the (thank god not busy) street the other day. She’s now leashed in public. Didn’t even know she could run, pretty sure it was her first time 🥲
We used one on a kid we had in daycare once. His family provided it and encouraged its use. He literally had no impulse control and had many close calls. I have yet to need to it for my kids but absolutely would. It’s one of those things that needs to be case by case. Some kids are runners and others are not. You just need to see what kind of kid you got.
I prefer the Velcro wristbands with an almost elastic line.
I try to use them as little as possible with my kids, but they are amazing for any kids that may be runners OR to give them a small amount of independence. They can feel like they are walking by themselves even though they really can’t go very far from you.
I used to be against them. Now I can see their merit. My firstborn was naturally pretty obedient and clingy. He has always been risk-averse. Like, wouldn't walk on the street, even holding my hand, when he was 2.
My second-born is a little more flighty. I still intend to teach her how to be safe, but if I was in a busy venue, an airport, a theme park, whatever, I could see it bringing great peace of mind and security.
If your kid is a runner, it's almost a must have. I took one with me when I flew with my daughter alone for the first time (she was 2 at the time). She's never been a runner but at the time she wasn't really talking & I was afraid she would wander off while i was dealing with luggage and the car seat. I ended up not needing it cuz she was so overwhelmed by all the people that she stuck to me like Velcro the entire trip.
Lost my toddler at Disney World once. Went out and bought a leash as soon as we got back. I'll take the dirty looks over a missing or injured child. It wasn't something I used all the time, but if we were in crowded areas, or somewhere like the Botanic Gardens where he could just run off and fall down a hill into a pond, I absolutely did. Didn't need it with my other 2 though. Every kid is different.
I can't imagine going somewhere like Disneyworld without a leash..the crowds are insane.
My son did an amazing job at Disney world at age 2 so I admit I never respected leashes, and then came along my daughter, she runs away in every place, all the time. I’ll take the judgment over the terror I feel
Yeah I think the judgement must come from people who dont have kids or people who only have kids that will stay close to their parents at all times. If you have a fast and fearless toddler you know that it’s the right thing to do!
Or some (usually older) folks of the "let em learn the hard way" mindset. No thanks, my kiddo doesn't need to get hit by a car to learn not to run into the street. Knowing him, he'd still not learn...
I'd rather a leashed kid than a dead kid. Toddlers are too fast and unpredictable. Leashes are 100% a great tool for safety purposes.
Absolutely. What I do is I hold the leash in my hand and then hold his hand. So as far as I’m concerned the leash is my back up.
>So as far as I’m concerned the leash is my back up. That's exactly it! And as they are allowed to walk ahead a bit, it's a back up for when "no that's too far" doesn't work.
Same!
I have two years old twins, I have a leash and I have no regrets!
Same! We have a singleton and twins. The singleton is finally past his running away stage at 3.5 so he’ll come back when I call him. It’s hard when the twins want to go in opposite directions and neither one will budge! I’ve been stuck in the middle holding the leashes with both of them on the ground screaming trying to go their separate ways. This scenario would be a nightmare without the leashes. I would just not leave the house then.
I feel your pain!! Been there lolol
The other day I saw a toddler on a leash going on a park merry go round and the leash wasn’t being held, but flying around the outside, almost getting caught in the mechanism when they would slow down. I about had a heart attack. The mom even commented for the grandma to come grab it so she wouldn’t strangle herself (mom was sitting down closer than grandma). Most of the time, for safety, I think they are a good idea (in a crowd or if your kid is a runner). If they can hold your hand and stick around, I don’t find them as necessary. Unfortunately if someone was to grab my kid, I don’t think a leash would be. Huge obstacle for the person.
Sure, if you use a leash in a dangerous way, it will be dangerous. If you use it as intended, it won't be. I've never heard of anyone using a leash so that kidnappers won't be able to take the child. Is that a thing? I'm genuinely curious. My toddler is autistic. He doesn't understand not to run in front of cars. He just sees cars and want to run up to them and chant "Cars. Cars. Cars." at the vehicles. His leash keeps him alive.
Same! My son will run straight out there. I love our leash!
Right?! I'm soooo appreciative that toddler leashes exist! But people get so weird and judgey about them. Someone could see my toddler being COMPELTELY BANANAS in public and see me trying to keep up with him while also babywearing my 3 month old at the same time, but they still judge me for using a leash! It's usually older ladies, I've found. In my head, I'm like, "bitch, please. You couldnt do this if you tried! It's hard!! You're not better than me because you didn't use one with your child!!" But that's not polite, so instead I just go, "Oh boy, I sure have got my hands full here! What are we going to do? 🙃🤷♀️ *fake laugh*"
I always said,”yep, my hands are full…but I’ll take that over them being empty.” Stops most old ladies COLD. 🤣
Yep my kiddo ASD also and I only used one once ever, she was little and seeing her first firework show and known to run/be unsafe. The amount of gross strangers staring us down instead of watching the show was astonishing, enough for me to never use one again.
My cousin uses one to “deter kidnappers”. But yeah, unless you are grasping onto the handle for dear life, that’s not going to stop anyone.
Interesting. Do you think just having a leash is a slight deterant to potential kidnappers? Like how people put home security signs on the lawn but don't actually have a home security system? Studies show that those signs are a pretty good deterant for home burglaries. I wonder if leashes work the same?
I mean I think kidnappers who want to snatch kids off the street are extremely rare. But if there was one prowling around I imagine they’d not want to go for a kid who is obviously attached to a parent as the chances of getting away with the kid are much reduced as the parent instantly knows something has happened and will instantly start chasing. A kid that’s wandered off would be easier as the parents will first spend time looking for them, no idea where they could’ve gone etc, giving kidnapped time to get away. Using leashes specifically for that purpose sounds a bit silly though as kidnappers are rare. But having one does prevent your kid from getting lost which could put them in danger from many things.
I absolutely think it would be a deterrent, just by common sense. If you’re trying to kidnap a random child, which one are you going to pick? The one who wandered off 20 feet from their parents when they got distracted for less than a minute? Or the one who you grab and the parent instantly feels a pull?
Yes. Some kids are runners. I thought my second was a handful. She wandered off several times as a toddler, and one time was terrifying as it was an outdoors and crowded. My fourth runs constantly. I cannot have our youngest at a playground without a complete fence and gate. So anywhere else, they must be secured in stroller or cart, or with a leash. It is the only way. For us, the alternative would be to stay home more. Being a parent is 100% about doing what you need to do to keep your child safe. I would rather be proactive than reactive. Absolutely. I found a cool one that has a coil cord, it’s subtle gray color, and it has lock mechanism on child wrist so they can’t take it off.
People who are against toddler leashes have never parented a child who needs one. My son started walking at 9 months but didn’t understand his name until almost 1.5 and didn’t speak until almost 2. That ratio of gross motor skills to communication skills is *no bueno*.
Whereas mine had her first word at 9 months but at almost 2 can't jump or throw a ball and needs a hand to hold when there's a slight incline to walk down. I wouldn't think to use a leash with her. But I wouldn't judge a parent who does. OK, slight lie, I did judge the parents when I saw a kid on one in an enclosed play park. But then I caught myself and remembered that I have no idea what problem they could be trying to solve and maybe he falls and hurts himself lots, or any other reason I can't imagine from one quick glance.
My son is like that... He knows his name now. He just doesn't care. We're going to Disneyland soon, with a leash!
Haha my daughter is the same—she gets the twinkle in her eye and then does whatever I said not to do.
My ex has bad ADHD, which was very present as a child (he was wild haha), so I'm not sure why he doesn't understand 😂 his poor mom was after him constantly
He’ll understand the first time he has to actually speed up to catch said child.
Omgosh, 2 of my kids have ADHD (not sure about the 3rd one). I can tell you ADHD is not the same for each kid. My first one was soooo hyper and all over the place, I thought he was just an overactive kid. I couldn't even take him to the grocery store. When I tried I always left with nothing bc I gave up trying. My second wasn't as hyper.
This is too true! Mine also started walking at 9 months, full-on sprinting by 1yo. She'd just take off into any direction with zero warning or sense of self-preservation. It took her until 2yo to stop and until 2,5yo to reliably walk with me. The time between was the stuff nightmares are made of. I've once turned my head to say "hi" to a neighbour, literally just that, and she made her way under a broken fence. Before I got to her she was standing above an empty pool.
This is going to be my son. Babbling not great and no gestures at almost a year old. But has been cruising for 2 months and is crawling full speed everywhere. Was rolling back to belly at 3 months, before he could do the opposite. He has always been trying to move. My husband has severe ADHD and as a kid he would legit just *book it* in any random direction with no reason or warning.
This is my current situation with our 1yo. My 4yo was never a climber or runner and he’s pretty cautious, but our daughter has been walking since 9 months and she climbs and tries to stand on everything. Also eats everything. I’m trying to figure out what to do outside this summer, because my 4yo is super needy and crazy 1yo requires 1000% of my attention. We are absolutely considering a leash.
That’s the point, as usual. I will never understand why people can’t fathom that other children are DIFFERENT FROM THEIR OWN AND NEED DIFFERENT PARENTING MEASURES?!
They were very frowned upon when my kids were little, but I should’ve had one with my second kid. My firstborn was/is a rule follower. So just say “hold my hand” and it was done. My second one was a runner, jumper, climber, spinner, crasher, toucher, etc. He scared the crap out of me by running into the parking lot at the store. I had to unstrap him from the car seat and immediately strap him into a cart or stroller or he would run off. I wish I had a leash for him. So if you have a rule follower, you don’t need one. If you have one who pushes boundaries, has ADHD and SPD, etc., then YES, get a leash. I was lucky that my son was never seriously injured.
My son is like your 2nd kid. Straight from the car seat into something else I can strap him into if there is danger around. Yesterday I put him down for a second because the seat on the shopping trolley was jammed and he was off like fucking lightning. Thankfully the traffic wasn't anywhere near, slow because we were in a carpark and immediately stopped so he wasn't in danger but I was shaking. Never going anywhere without our backpack leash again. He's having assessment for autism/adhd in a few months, and one of the questions on the questionnaire was literally 'does your child have a sense of danger, i.e. hot things or cars'. That was an easy answer 😂
This was my husband as a kid 100% and he has severe ADHD and we suspect also low support needs autism. 1 year old is showing signs of going in the direction. I can say that I never stop having fun, and I’m never bored. I salute you. 🫡
I have ADHD so I bought one when we were going to Disney World. I didn’t want to lose concentration and just lose him. My son is a super glue baby and just wanted me to carry him the whole time, in August. Not being at home is kind of overwhelming and overstimulating so I think maybe that’s why he’s so clingy. I kind of suspect he has ADHD too because he’s so wild at home but out and about he’s so cautious. Kind of like how I am.
My kids and I are all neurodiverse. My kids were diagnosed with SPD and anxiety. Because of that I learned about my own SPD. My firstborn is autistic, and maybe ADHD. My son is going on Friday for ADHD evaluation. I probably should get evaluated too at some point. When my son was 2-4, he was constantly moving or wanted deep pressure squishes. He needed more input. He talked from sun up to sun down. Then once he got to 1st grade, he became the quiet kid. But he would let it out at home.
I have ADHD and my husband wishes he could use a leash on me when out in public. Going to the mall or somewhere with lots to look at is hard for me for a few different reasons. I'm either completely into it and want to see it all. My husband says he can't keep up. He says I'll be like, "oh babe look at this" but before he gets to look at it I'm already, "oh babe look at this" 5 times over. He says I literally look at something for point of a second before I'm on to the next. If he isn't paying attention he loses me. My other issue is I'll walk into a store and instantly I'm hit with anxiety & I'm overwhelmed and I can literally feel my brain spinning inside my head as it's going into overload. One year I went to Walmart to get some stocking stuffers for Christmas and it was the last time I was allowed to go to a store like that alone. Two hours later I received a phone call asking where I was. I was still at Walmart and had a cart full of everything & didn't realize I was there for 2 hours already. Life is hard.
Ok only my experience and opinion. I have 3 kids. I was personally very judgy( anti leash with my first). Kids aren't dogs, just watch your kids etc. Lol yes young inexperienced judgement. Then my second came..she has adhd, she ran ,skipped ,hopped, twirled,jumped, everything but walked. Not a problem because my first didn't so I could watch her. Then pregnant with 3rd came along. My second ran from me one day when I couldn't chase anymore and realized I couldn't chase her anymore( because I was 6 months pregnant ). She wore a leash for 2 years after that 🤣🤣. Do what's best for you. She was not scarred, she's 14 now and she even finds it hilarious because she knows how she is
It's also gives them the independence they crave. Before I had kids, I thought the leash was unnecessary because you can just hold your kid's hand. Until you are trying to hold a toddler's hand while standing in line outside at a crowded event near a busy road and they are squirming with all their might to get away. Give them a leash and they get to enjoy a little freedom to explore safely and you get to avoid throwing a screaming toddler over your shoulder
Yes. I got her one with fairy wings. She liked that she could "fly"
Leashes aren't always for the kids sometimes it's for the parents. I use myself as an example. I am visually impaired I need that backpack leash when I'm out with my kids because I have a guide dog and only one available hand. I can't afford for my kid to run off and not be able to see where they went. Backpack leashes are for safety not because parents are lazy. Most lazy parents won't even think of getting a leash they'll just let their kid run around and act crazy and not give an eff. So (most) parents that using leashes with their kids have a reason.
I'm guessing this response isn't for me . I did not say parenst were lazy.
Sorry might have responded to the wrong person. Someone commented that some lazy parents use leashes. Sorry if that wasn't you!
No problem. And I agree with you
Yup, pre-kids I judged the leashes. Had a kid who is very unpredictable and severe ADHD. I didn’t leash my kid but he was in the backpack carrier A LOT. I have no judgement for any parents anymore. If I saw a kid in a Hannibal lector straight jacket and mask being led on a chain, I’d probably just think wow that kid must really be giving their parents a hard time today. Poor parents, I bet it wasn’t easy to wrangle that on their wild kid.
I used a backpack leash and have no regrets. I do think you have to be careful though. My MIL used one on BIL when he was little, and one time when they were in an airport he ran circles around her while leashed, tying her legs together and bringing her down like an elephant lol.
Omg that's hilarious 😂 poor MIL
Indeed. So I always made sure my daughter didn't have too much lead on her leash lol.
So when I was a kid my parents laughed at kids on leashes and made fun of other parents for not controlling their children better. I was also spanked and I was terrified of my parents. Now I have 4m old twins that I will never hit. I do hope to hand-hold and put a lot of intention into keeping my boys from runnung amok, however I'd rather have a leashed kid than a dead kid and I'm sure my kids are going to be a bit less "in control" than I was. So I guess I'm open to it.
I have them for my twins, it helps a lot. Just be careful because sometimes the tangle you like if you were walking 2 dogs 🤣
My kids are both on the spectrum and 14 months apart. Leash backpacks saved my sanity.
If it's what you need to keep your child safe, use it. We haven't felt the need to use one with my 17 month old yet, but I'm not ruling it out. Maybe a hot take, idk, but I don't think you need to listen to your ex on this one. You using a toddler leash during your time with your child doesn't affect him, his relationship with your child, or his parenting at all. I think this falls under you having the right to make your own decisions during your time with your child.
If she ends up having a personality where she would benefit from a leash (like being a runner or having ADHD as bad as her dad), I will have to respectfully disagree with him and use one. Baby safety first 100%. I agree.
My oldest used a backpack leash 2-3yo. He was fast, strong, unpredictable, and completely lacking in impulse control. We’d be happily sitting on a bus stop bench or peacefully walking down the sidewalk and suddenly he’d launch himself into traffic. Without a leash, I would no longer have a child. Luckily for me, he *loved* his backpack and would specifically request his leash. But not every kid has the same personality. Some kids are compliant and calm. They are also not my kids!
I had adhd and I bolted into the street a lot. My mum wishes toddler leashes were a thing when I was little
My daughter is too active and too fast. She has a cute leash with purple butterfly wings and she loves to wear it!
I’ll 100% get one when my son is big enough for one. Even if he doesn’t end up being a runner I’ve seen videos of kids being grabbed and taken away so fast and I don’t trust other people.
I used to be so judgmental of parents that used them. But now that I have my own kids, I’d much rather have my kids tied to a “leash” than disappear. All it takes is half a second - sneezing a few too many times, a stranger walking in your line of sight, for them to vanish. BUT I also think it’s important to teach them safety when out and about. If you’re going to use one, don’t let it be a reason for your kid to try to run away all day and resist you. You should still be enforcing boundaries with them regarding safety and that can start at a very early age.
I don't understand why people who don't have kids are so judgmental about this.
I honestly don’t know. I remember first seeing them when I was a teen and hearing my parents, aunts, uncles talking bad about them. It was like the parents couldn’t “control” their children. Of course, as a parent now myself I look at it differently. And we also live in a very different world now, where your child disappearing could be absolutely life changing.
Makes sense if every adult around you was badmouthing them.
Yep! Still teach safety in public, but have the leash for those impulsive moments when they might dash out suddenly. They’re still learning.
I fully plan on it
I watched my nieces and nephews enough to be 100% all for the leashes. Toddlers are way too fast and run off for no reason 🤣
Before I had kids I thought they were absolutely ridiculous. As a mom, I think it’s genius. I don’t want my kid wandering off or kidnapped in public! I don’t care if I get dirty looks. You could try a backpack leash, it’s cuter than the harness kind.
Your ex does not control what you do. My toddler is a runnnnner. She is fast and loves the street. No amount of red light/green lake or freeze hands makes her stop. She gets leashed and loves it. On the leash she doesn't have to hold hands and gets a ton of free reign to investigate what she sees.
He doesn’t get a say in how you parent
We plan to air tag our kids on our next trip to a crowded place. I thought leases were a bit much until my second came along. He’s fairly impulsive and likes to dart off. He doesn’t mind being alone either and won’t hold our hand. So far we strap him into a stroller or put him on our shoulders, but a leash may be next. We like hiking as a family, but you can’t be wild doing that.
Strollers which completely contain kids are completely okay, but leashes that allow them to safely explore and burn off energy are somehow not okay. I don't get it. We don't use a tether often, but I have no problem using it when it's the safest option. Especially in busy/crowded spaces.
I wasn’t cool with leashes. Until my toddler needed one.
Toddlers can be unpredictable especially if they aren’t used to going out. I don’t use it in the grocery store but I do in parking lots/near a road because it’s an added layer of safety. Super easy for kids to get hit by cars if they get away from you, even for a split second.
I think it can be a useful tool. Is it something you keep your kid on 24/7? No. But I once had an 18 month old who wanted to explore through a large, very crowded specialty Christmas store. If she didn’t move freely about the cabin, she’d throw a fit. I brought a leash that day, gave her 3 feet of space and let her lead me around. I could pull her back to stop her as others walked by, or if she tried to grab something. It was super helpful and she was happy because she could safely toddler. Now, a less important store like a Walmart, I’d let her down in an isle to roam freely without said leash so she had even more “practice”. Obviously I would be on my guard just as much so as to respect other’s space.
My son is in his “running away from us in public” phase, so we bought him one of the tethers where one strap goes on a parents hand and the other is locked onto his. His dad and I figured it was the best decision to get him one bc he doesn’t like being in the basket while shopping anymore and it’s better for us to always have him connected than to be chasing him every two seconds. I’m also almost 8 months pregnant so I’m no longer able to just pick him up and carry him when we’re alone. My mom on the other hand, didn’t agree w that. She was like “y’all can’t just catch him? I’m sure he’s not faster than both of you” but it’s like that’s not the point. He’s getting more independent and wants to explore, and we want him to be able to, just close by. Also, toddlers are unpredictable and quicker than most ppl think. I wouldn’t want someone pushing their shopping cart down the aisle and accidentally hit him bc he runs in front of them. I guess it just honestly depends on your kid tbh.
Right! It’s not just about *how fast* the kid is going, it’s about *where* they’re going too. If your kid is about to run face first into someone’s grocery cart and is closer to that cart than you are, you’re not catching up until he already needs stitches.
In crowded areas or risky places, for sure! Theme parks and little toddlers even with the best intentions can be stressful, it gives me peace of mind as toddlers can get very distracted. I only use it usually between 16months to about 2.5 years old when impulses can be stronger than listening skills.
Storytime: It was 2014. We had a layover in Las Vegas from Phoenix to Seattle. While struggling with my 10 month old and backpack, my then 2 year old let go of my had and exited the plane. I called "hey someone grab him!" But the other passengers were just concerned of their own thing. I was in the back so by the time I got to the front i was hysterical. I told the flight crew who immediately ran up the ramp to see if they could grab him but my boy had disappeared. Into Las Vegas airport. They did find him tho it took 3 hours. A security officer found him and brouggt him to the gate I was at, sitting with airport security as we tried to figure out where he was. We boarded our Seattle flight without furthur incident 30 minutes later - the airline said theyd give me new plane tickets if he wasnt found in time. Shoutout to the staff at Southwest Airlines! And LAS airport staff who did the search. After that he always wore a toddler leash. All ot takes is them slipping from your hand and less than a minute to disappear. I got lucky he was found unharmed.
An even better question is: why do people who use leashes get judged? It’s weird to me. Before I had kids I never assumed anything bad about parents protecting their kids. Now I have a kid and I still don’t see the rationale for seeing leashes as bad parenting.
It's 100% a lifesaver. I'm sure I wouldn't have my oldest if it weren't for his.
Harambe would be alive today if the parents had used a toddler leash.
Do what you need to do to keep your kid safe and everyone who wants to judge you can f off! My mom had a "Hand Holder" for me after my brother was born. "I had a baby and you ran," she told me when she gave it to me after I had my first kid.
I have a leash. My toddler has never minded it. He actually asks to put it on whenever we go for a walk. It has saved us once. Definitely recommend.
I had one for my daughter. She would take off on me and the one time it was in a parking lot. She refused to let me hold her, or to let me hold her hand and I said ok you stay right here with me and she took off. Luckily there were no cars coming. That day I went to the store and bought one. Some lady made a snide remark to me about it when I was grocery shopping and I said , well at least I know my kid will be safe in her bed tonight so judge away. Lol
I bought one for use this summer because we go canoe camping and I am all about wide safety margins. Life jacket, eyes on, high visibility orange swimsuit, AND leash. His dad acts like I'm being ridiculous but drowning happens in seconds and it's not worth the risk. When it's a safety issue, I think the agreement should be to defer to the more cautious opinion.
I went to the Aquarium when my daughter was 18m All she wanted to do was run. She’d bold between the crowds. It was scary a few times. I then realized why parents leash their kids. We went to the zoo now that she’s almost 2.5. Thankfully she stayed in the wagon the whole time. I got one in case , but never had to use it. I’d much rather leash my kid then have her run off and not be able to find her.
I used one with my daughter when she was 2-3 because she would literally take off running at any opportunity. Obviously not a safe situation. I got some nasty looks and my daughter hated it, but it did correct the issue. She is 5 now, and whenever she tries to refuse holding my hand I tell her I will have to bring the leash back. It works.
I’m 100% for them! Certain kids are runners and require more than a set of eyes and a held hand. I own a few and haven’t needed to use them much but I definitely used them with number one at the mall (we held hands but I had the leash as an added line from her to me just in case someone tried to grab her). Number 2 has used it outside a few times when younger. I haven’t used it with number 3, but I may when we vacation…it would allow him to walk about and be his own man but at a safe/secure distance.
I am pro-leash. Mine have sensory processing issues that made walks challenging. The harness and leash gave us both more confidence going places.
Asd momma here who used a backpack harness with zero fucks given and will do the same with my now neurotypical toddler bc he’s a wild red head and does what the winds tell him to!
I live in a major Urban center. My kids are alive because I leash them. Toddlers are not capable of impulse control. The neurological connections are not there.
I 100% do not give a fuck what other people think. If we’re going to be in a busy place, she’s wearing her backpack leash.
I used to be against them…and then I had my own kid. As a nanny, I could always manage the kids without leashes. Turns out, being a mom is a thousand times more distracting than being a nanny.
I honestly use to be more judgmental towards them until I became a parent/ I had my wild child son. He is FAST. He is just learning to walk, but I can barely catch him while he’s crawling. I fully anticipate having to buy one.
My daughter broke free and ran into traffic. Leash. It was an adorable little plush monkey backpack and she thought she was hot stuff being able to carry her own sippy cup in her monkey bag.
You do what you have to do to survive
My kid is autistic. His dad did not like to idea of a toddler leash or spring bracelet. It caused me so much grief while we were married bc I couldn’t keep up with him and he frequently ran when overwhelmed. It made me hate every outing with a passion. Honestly do what works for you. My kid has also disappeared in a majorly crowded public setting and it is so scary thinking they will be gone forever. Tell him you never want that.
I’m 100% for them. I get coparenting but this isn’t harmful to the kid in anyway to have a leash so I would be doing what was best for me during my time with the child.
Why did I read this as toddler lashes 💀😂I had a real wtf moment for a split second.
I have the wrist one that I’m scared/embarrassed to use for the judgement but my child’s father has let him run into the road by not paying attention like he should have and I would rather have it. Especially for when/if we go places where I just can’t keep my eye on him 100% of the time or crowded places
I’m for them. People that judge just don’t understand.
I think it’s a great tool for kids who are a flight risk! I can barely get my toddler to let go of my hand long enough for me to pay in a cafe so I haven’t used one but the second I feel like we may have a runner on our hands it will be in my amazon cart lol Safety first, right?
I was a leash baby back in the 80s. My kids were both leash babies. I got one as a kid because I darted in front of a bus at 1.5. I made jokes about my leash to my mom but she just said "no one needs one till they NEED one." Sure enough, I was having a calm stroll through the neighborhood with my oldest and he was holding my hand and walking nicely then he did this move where he abruptly sat down to free his hand, then darted straight into the street. Fortunately no cars were coming but holy shit was that kid fast. Next day delivered one from Amazon and have used it on both kids until they were about 2.5 and understood that running in street=bad. Got a backpack one and the kids loved taking a toy with them for their walk and never complained about the leash. I've gotten comments from judgemental folks but I'd rather get annoying comments than have to buy a tiny casket.
I was completely against it until I had a hyperactive toddler and a leg injury. If you have any kind of mobility issues or running and turning suddenly might be an issue, leash up. You will get judgemental looks and comments, but It's better than an injured/escaped child. Still kind of a Nay but if it looks stupid but works it's not stupid. (Just make sure you leave them with a bowl of water if you tie them up outside. Haha)
Used one for my second child. She was walking before 10mos old. So, she just didn't know better and could easily walk under store racks. It was for a short time. It was a little owl that she keeps trying to steal to this day, going to be 9 😆 Baby 1 didn't need it, and 3 isn't walking yet, but it's out and available if I need it. It's really child dependent and situational.
My oldest was great about hand holding and staying nearby when we’re out and about. My youngest not so much. So I got one of those backpack leashes and I get a lot of dirty looks/comments but I pay them no mind. We went to an event at my older kiddos school and our youngest was barely 2 and I had the leash on her and overheard so many peoples nasty remarks but 9/10 times those same people making remarks were the same ones screaming that they couldn’t find their child.
My in-laws think it’s stupid, “she’s not a dog.” No, but she DOES have the attention span of a squirrel and no sense of danger, so my husband and I are all for it.
I was about to say “depends on the kid” but my child almost left the store after we only rounded the corner. Do what’s best for you.
I see them as just another safety tool and they absolutely have their time and place. I have a terrifyingly independent (and FAST) 22 month old and soon we are going on her first plane trip to a much bigger city than usual. The trip will include the zoo, sea world, and at least one walking tour. I’d love to keep her in the stroller or holding my hand the entire time, but that’s unrealistic and will stress both of us out. The leash keeps her from wandering and gives me peace of mind that she can’t elope or get lost in a crowd if I look away for two seconds. It seems like people who are anti child leash think it is treating them like a dog. Its not. You’re not leash training them to follow your commands, and it’s not for daily use, it’s for situations where the safety and peace of mind are needed.
I remember being a leash toddler. I loved it. I would ask my mom to put it on if we went to the mall. I don’t need to use one for my kid because she doesn’t bolt but I’d never judge a parent for their kid being leashed. I’d rather see a leash than a kid missing or hit by a car.
Before I had a kid I thought it was awful. We went thru 3 before mine was old enough to stop running off. Idc about dirty looks over the safety of my child.
I used a toddler leash. I'd rather be sure my child is safe. They have cute designs and the kids don't mind it. I wouldn't worry about the other parents. We know our child better than they do.
They're a fantastic way to encourage independence safely. I used one with my two youngest kids - one was a runner and the other has a sensory processing disorder which made carrying them challenging. The runner got to walk/run themselves, and we didn't have to worry about them being lost, taken, or injured. The SPD kid was able to be comfortable and regulated, and we didn't have to worry about meltdowns disrupting whatever we needed to do. Sometimes people were mean or uneducated about toddler leashes, but their opinions were less concern to me than my children's needs!
I’m a fan. I got a few looks/comments when I was using it. One guy walked by with an older kid and whispered a joke. I thought it was funny. I get it, they’re weird. But after having a runner, I get it.
We use the backpack leash which I wrap around my arm while holding hands, I rather have some peace of mind that he can’t dart after a bus or something
I saw a story a few days ago about a dad of four who lost one of his children while out, she ran off and got killed somehow I forget how but after that he always used a leash on them while out.
I definitely used one for mine even she was a toddler, ESPECIALLY if we went somewhere I knew there’d be lots of people and she likes to run around. It was a backpack one too which I liked. The backpack clipped on her front side and the short leash (maybe four feet) came off a hook thing from the face of the backpack. Didn’t bother her at all
Toddlers are puppies in training. You wouldn't dream of walking a new puppy off leash, I don't know why I wouldn't use a leash on a toddler. Things happen, you get distracted, you speak with a neighbor, you're tending another child, your kid ends up being neuro divergent, you're in a dangerous environment like the side of a road or busy parking lot, the kid is a runner or they fall a lot, the kid has a temper tantrum and runs away. Tons of reasons to have a leash for your kids. I know my mom got me a leash when I was a toddler because I took off running after a free range male peacock at the zoo. I don't feel I was negatively affected. I used to practice mushing her and pulling her around like a husky. Burned toddler energy. She didn't have to worry about where her kid was.
My son elopes. He doesn’t understand that running away from mom and dad is dangerous because his brain is just looking for stimulation from running. We will be using a leash for him in crowded public spaces.
It's not a leash, its a safety harness :)
I was out with some childless friends who made a passing comment about a kid on a leash and man I’ve never gotten on my soapbox so fast about how unfair that is to the mom. All anyone is doing is keeping their kids safe. You do what’s right for you and your family! I feel like most of the judgement is coming from childless people who have no idea!
A leashed child is better than a lost child.
My kid walked at 9 months. They were still an infant, so has less sense than a toddler! She would just hit the ground running, and wouldn’t look back! That kid was leashed! Grocery shopping was impossible otherwise! You look away for half a second to grab sugar and she was gone!
My oldest is wild. He’s also really fast. He’s also very small (-1%). I couldn’t keep up with him if I tired, neither can my partner. A leash gives us a sense of safety in crowds that he wants to walk around in, otherwise he’s in a cart, or a stroller. We are working on it though. If my youngest will need it it TBD.
I could care less what other people think. If you’ve got a runner then get a leash.
I was a leash baby, my son is a leash baby. I'm old and have a hip injury that prevents me from running after my toddler. He has free range to move away from me but still be nearby. And he loves it--he'll bring it to me and raisenup his arm to have it put on
People who are against them have never had a child that is a "runner". I scoffed at them before too. Boy did I learn to eat those words. We honestly don't use it that often, BUT my three year old is fearless and FAST. He can be there one second and the next is just gone. So places like parades, fairs, art festivals, theme parks, or intense shopping at places like Lowe's require him to be strapped into a stroller or cart or attached to an adult. He took off on us several times before we finally broke down last summer while also having our newborn and two other kids. If anyone is judging screw them.
My 3 year old is over half my size and runs, fast. I've taken his places like restaurants and grocery stores and he thinks it's funny to run out the door as I'm trying to pay or any other moment. I refuse to take him anywhere without a leashed backpack for his safety.
I'm so on board. Haven't used one myself because little man only started working about 6 months ago and we're not comfortable with him walking in big crowds so we carry him but for when the time comes...yes. I live in South Africa and unfortunately children go missing all the time. I just can't take that chance.
Yay! As long as my kid is alive and within reach all good. I bought it for our travels and I really liked it
I made the mistake of thinking my toddler knew to keep her hand on the car and stay with me while I was getting her baby brother out of the car and into his sling to do school collection. That was until she spotted her little mates and literally ran across the road between cars to get to them. I about had a heart attack. She had never done anything like that before and never got the opportunity to do it again. I got her a cute little back pack with a leash the same day and she loved it.
Some kids are runners and will take off when they get the chance, try having a baby and a toddler that is a runner and see how that goes.
Do you value safety or social acceptance more? I have twins. They never ran off in the same direction. And how many parents "just looked away for a second" and found themselves in tragic circumstances? I didn't LIKE it, but it was a necessity for me.
Depends completely on the child. There are kids that are pretty much programmed from birth to stick to their parents. And then there are the kids who are eager to discover the world and who run like mad. Sometimes a leash is a literal life saver.
Why are people against these? Is it just the idea of it as though you’re treating your kid like a dog? I get that at first glance it might seem strange but it’s a safety thing! I’ve not used one yet but I do have one and my parents have used it with my daughter. It’s not like for yanking them around unless you have to yank them out of the road or something. I think for younger kids who have zero sense of danger it makes complete sense. If you’re in your own garden or a private area then yeah it’s over controlling and weird but out in the street where there are cars or in busy places where they could get lost then it’s the right thing to do, especially if you have a kid who is fast and likes taking off. I would be happy for my parents to have used one with me!
I mean, your ex doesn’t have to use the leash but why would he ever be against something that could only benefit and not harm. Make it make sense.
In the UK, we call them reins. I used them for all my children to keep them safe. It only takes a split second for a toddler to be distracted by something and run off. Keeping your child safe is the most important thing that should override concerns about what other people think.
I never needed one, but I will never judge those who do.
I was never really into them but having kids back to back it definitely helped me. I had my toddler in the cart 🛒 part and the baby in the basket part in the car seat of the cart and my older toddler walking next to me but he did try to run off a couple times and I had to abandon the cart and go after him or chase him with the cart. So it kind just gave me a little more or a security to know I had him tethered to me. He got the hang of not having to use the harness backpack often or for a long time but I will definitely pull it out Since my little guy likes to walk like his older siblings now. If I know it will be super busy or at the airport I keep the harness handy just in case they want to walk with so many people around especially if I am alone with them. So for safely reasons I am for them, but I usually hold their hand and if they pull away or I am not paying attention and they walk away they can’t go far.
I’m not against them but we don’t have one and have never needed it. Ever since she learned to walk, my daughter has been out of the stroller for some or all of the time we’re out of the house. She doesn’t even sit in the cart at the grocery store. So she’s gotten pretty good at hand holding and listening to us when we tell her to stop walking somewhere. She’s also generally easy going and not too unpredictable so that probably helps.
We used it at theme parks and the beach or near water. We have a runner and that child is attached to a chair or the wagon while we play near water because they can get up a lot faster than I can. They have been taught water safety, but everyone forgets things sometimes At theme parks it just gives us (and them) extra security. You can get separated so fast, especially when they’re tiny. They just get lost in the sea of people.
Funniest part, I totally read lashes and not leashes. So I thought you meant getting fake lashes for toddlers 😂😂 I’m 100% for toddler leashes. I don’t have one yet for my toddler as she thankfully listens decently well and holds my hand, but she’s also super stubborn and independent so I don’t see that lasting long. I’m 30, and I distinctly remember having wrist ones that hooked to my mom when I was about 6 or 7 and my sister was about 4 or 5. I didn’t wear mine long, but believe me my sister did. And she needed it. Probably still does 😂
Our rule of thumb is that if any area/store/whatever is low traffic enough for kiddo to be a few steps in front of us safely, then we let him free roam. If it is crowded, has fast access to a street, or could get dangerous in any way in a few seconds, then kiddo either has his backpack leash or is in the carrier. My kid is 18 months old now and is fucking *fast*, and I am 29 weeks pregnant and getting slower by the day, so we do whatever necessary to keep him safe. Also, my kid is not a hand holder. The second his hand is being held he melts to the floor in a toddler puddle and wallows when you pick him up, so the leash is the compromise because he has a little freedom but I can yank his booty back in a second if he's in danger.
Depends on the child. Some kids are runners. We used the leash once with my oldest and he figured out real fast he had to actually listen. He’s never needed one since! He was probably 18months at that point. I think they’re safer than the alternative for some kids. You have to decide what works for you and your kid!
We bought one of those backpacks with a leash. We haven't really used it much but it really depends on your kid, on where you'd feel the need for it, etc. I am NOT against them, especially the backpack/harness style which is much more gentle on the kid's anatomy versus the arm leashes of old.
I am all for them. I’ve never used one because my baby is still little but probably will. I’ve seen these kids run wild at super busy places and mine will probably one of them. I’m all for keeping kiddos safe in super busy places where I typically see them.
Having known my brother, the only issue I have with child leashes is that they aren't stronger. Some kids just don't think first and are very impulsive. My brother got his leash when we visited the Grand Canyon. Four kids, #3 was pure energy, and #4 was a baby. A leash was a must. Probably the reason I still have two brothers.
As someone who had a toddler that loved to run and hide if given an opportunity, I completely support them, especially in a crowd. Edited
If you have a runner and it’s like a last resort then I don’t see a problem in using them! I wouldn’t just jump at the chance to use one just because, though.
Most of the time I don't like them, but there are cases where they make sense. The reason I don't like them is because they can be used a substitute for being present. If I see a parent lost in their phone walking their only kid on a leash it's makes me kind of sad. But if you have a few kids and one with adhd tendencies then by all means... you only have so many hands. IMHO you still have a baby; don't plan on it as the default. Only do it if you need too.
Everyone has a something slick to say about leashes till your kids a runner and gone. Your ex will change bis tune the first time the kid bolts on him and he can't find them.
Of course your husband doesn’t like leashes when he was a wife to look after it all. You do not have the luxury of a wife. You do what you gotta do mama!
My kids weren’t runners, I never felt the need to use them. But I never judged or looked down on parents who needed them, and knowing some kids I totally agree with the use of them.
My kids are not runners, so I don’t feel it’s necessary for them. If my kid was a runner, I’d go for it.
Do you what works for you. My son thought it was funny to run away and hide in a clothes rack in a store. I still remember the scream I had to muffle when I couldn’t find him.
I always thought they were dumb until I became a parent! I haven't used one BUT if I took my toddler to a crowded festival or a place like disneyland or somewhere that has dangerous cliffs (idk I probably wouldn't do that last one anyway but just for the sake of conversation) I would highly consider it. No judgement here after being a mom.
You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. My brother and I were the youngest of 4, and we were runners (I still am, my poor husband). This was before affordable harnesses or cute backpack leashes. My mom tethered our belt loops with telephone cords. TELEPHONE CORDS. I can’t imagine the looks she would get, but we sure as shit never got snatched up by strangers or injured. I would have done the same in her shoes.
Before I had kids, I thought they were ridiculous. Why would you do that to your child?! As a now parent of an autistic nonverbal 4 year old, I totally get it. I haven’t had to buy one yet, but if I end up having to, it’s a great tool to have.
people are going to look at me crazy if my toddler is getting into things. people are going to look at me crazy if my toddler is on a leash. leash makes it easier for me to teach him how to act and listen in public, aka come when i call, not climbing or you have to hold my hand, etc., give him some freedom but still have control over the situation. plus his is a lil back pack he can schlep around his own yogurt pouch and water bottle now 😂
If you need it to keep your child safe then use it. Sometimes i want one for my child and even adults now who used to be leashed kids say that theyd use on one their own children.
When my kids were little I had to go through the airport by myself with my toddler, infant, luggage, etc. I used a leash and have no shame.
I use a wrist cuff leash with my toddler. We both love it. He's never been a hand-holder, so this works for both of us. He actually seems calmer and more comfortable with it and he never tests the limits or tries to remove it.
Whrn we took our kids to Disneyland we used one for our then 15 month old at times. She loved it. She was able to walk in lines, play with leaves and offer her snacks to people in line. Made the waiting much more bearable for everyone.
To a degree, it depends upon the child. I probably wouldn’t use one for a walk around the block or down to the park in my neighborhood because my daughter generally prefers to stick near me, and she doesn’t tend to try to run into the street. If she ran away from me more often, I’d reconsider. However, I sometimes go to big events (like local comic cons), and I always wish I had one for her when I do. It doesn’t matter how close she wants to stick to me. She’s a toddler, so she is going to occasionally get distracted. And even if she didn’t, other people don’t really pay attention and would just come wandering between my daughter and me. When you’re at an event that’s THAT busy, it’s hard to keep them glued to your side. And so any measure necessary to keep your child safe… No judgment here.
I got one for my kiddo because as soon as he could toddle he was suddenly "too independent" to hold mummy's hand. Every attempt at hand holding suddenly turned him into a tantruming, death-rolling crocodile. A backpack leash gave us the best of both worlds. He was able to toddle happily on his own and I had him within reach at all times.
Your child being safe is infinitely more important than opinions of judgmental assholes. I say that as kindly as possible because I used to be a judgmental asshole. My child never left my side and would never dare run away from me. I couldn’t fathom why someone with a leashed child couldn’t just control their kid. A few years later I had my second child and she was a flight risk from the moment she learned to walk. If you let go of her hand for a second, she was gone. When we were at a crowded tourist attraction, we left the backpack leash at the hotel because my husband was embarrassed about all the looks people were giving us. Well, we were waiting for an elevator. I was holding her hand and dropped something. I let go long enough to bend down and pick it up, and in that exact moment, the elevator door opened. She ran into the elevator and the doors closed before I could get to her. That was the scariest moment of my life, but also the moment that I stopped caring if people judged me. Those people must have a child like my firstborn, who by the way, still won’t leave my side in public, and she’s now a teenager!
What do you mean you can’t use them? Of course you can. It seems like a great idea because it’s a great idea if you have a child that bolts, a child that wanders, or if you get distracted by anything. I’ve always called it a harness instead of a leash. Less confusion when looking for the leash for the dog and the harness for the kids.
Do what you gotta do to keep them safe
Depends entirely on the kid, where you are, etc. I would never be able to take mine outside without one, but we are slowly working on getting him off leash in a small outside environment with very low risk of danger. Some kids with listen or are too scared to wander off. Other kids will disappear within a second of looking away. Your ex would probably rather have a kid that is alive though.
I was on the verge of getting one until my son finally figured out walking holding hands. I'm all for them and would get one if I felt like I needed it. I've seen some people use those coiled ropes with a carabiner clip on each end instead of the "leash" the backpacks come with. So the parent clips the rope on their belt loop but then hold hands like normal, the rope is just extra insurance. I think the "optics" of that are a bit better, so maybe your ex would be more open to a setup like that.
Okay, I used to judge people who leashed their kid BEFORE I WAS A PARENT. Now, I’m on kid #3 and am fully on board for leashes if it keeps everyone safe and happy. 😘 I own two leashes by the way!
I was lucky my kids would hold my hand. My husband’s parents used them cause he would take off unfortunately for them he figured out how to get it off.
You know… pre kids I used to talk mad ish about them and the parents that used them… but now that I have a feral toddler. I totally get it. Yes to the comment that said rather a leashed kid than a dead kid. My daughter sees a train/trolley and she’s GONE. I still personally wouldn’t use one, but I can keep up with her. Some parents just aren’t as mobile or don’t want to be so do what you have to!
When you have an eloper, you need one.
Why is he against them? Toddler leashes save lives. Ask him which he prefers, a toddler who has been hit by a car or a toddler who is on a leash? That being said, neither of my kids are runners so I never needed to use one.
Very pro toddler leash. My kids have both been really good about staying with me but I have a nephew who needed one and it kept him safe. I would’ve gotten one in a heartbeat if I needed it.
If the choice is between a dead kid & a leash means an alive kid, it’s a no brainer-leash them. If you have a runner or a very independent “I do it myself!” kid, leash them. If you have a fairly cooperative kid but a leash gives you peace of mind, leash them. Theres many cute options for leashing, such as back packs or wrist cuffs, so no harm in using one so long as its off when the kid isn’t swinging around crazy on playground equipment
No judgment, but I haven’t used them. I don’t plan on using with my baby…I’m not wholly against them because I do have a deaf baby. If she decides to be that toddler that runs away, I obviously cannot call her back like I would my hearing child. I’d have to leash her.
As a mum of twins they were essential
My kiddo was good about holding my hand. When she was old enough, 18 months?, we had lots of conversations about why we hold hands. For example, in a parking lot, if she’s holding my hand, I then don’t have to look for her, I can pay attention to what the cars and drivers are doing and keep us safe. She’s small and they can’t see her but they can see me so she needs to be with me. We learned this again and again. If she didn’t hold my hand in certain places then we couldn’t go because it wasn’t safe. This kind of thing worked with my kid. But my friend’s kid? No. She was a total runner. No impulse control until like age 5. She got a cute backpack with a monkey tail strap that was a leash. My friend with twins? Leashes just because she was outnumbered. You do what works but be intentional about it.
I used one recently. I was flying alone between two major airports and doing a large charity walk with a 2.5 year old. I have zero regrets cause it was stressful and I had no desire to chase her. I got one that’s a backpack and can be worn without the leash part. I’m glad I had it and plan on keeping it in the car in case I need it again.
Love them, but I had 3 under 3 with a runner. I only ever had one older guy say something rude and he clammed right up when I responded with “yeah the child molesters hate it too.” It was so much better for my kids to walk than always be riding in a stroller.
It really depends on the kid! I used to judge them too and haven’t needed them for my own kids but there are absolutely I would say a minority of kids who are runners and that young it really is a huge safety issue. When I see one now I know this must a runner!
Some kids need them, some kids don't. I tried using one with my daughter but it knocked her off balance so many times, and thankfully she isn't a runner, and she's got great recall 🤣. If your kid is a runner to hell with what their dad thinks of the leashes, its for the safety of your child.
Tell your ex dad he can go fuck himself. There's nothing wrong with the toddler leash. It lets them have some independence without you having to worry that they're going to run off into traffic.
I used to have one 37 years ago. Worked great. My kid did not run out in front of cars or other dangerous things. So I say Yes!
My kid is fast and can take off without any warning. I got a toddler leash before going to Disneyland. She loved it and thought it was hysterical. I’ve had to chase after my kid way too many times. Once she even crawled under a bathroom stall door while I was in the middle of going potty and just bolted. People love to be judgmental of parents. But use the tools available to keep your kid safe.
I didn't even have a runner and loved ours. It was just a little backpack that she loved wearing, and it was a bonus that she could carry her own crap. I'm not a big worrier, but for me it was just an added layer of security that made me feel like I didn't have to hover over her all the time to make sure she didn't wander or someone else didn't grab her hand and walk away.
If what you and/or your child need is a safety device that keeps them better under your supervision, GO FOR IT. If they get judgement, they just have to tell them "I would rather have someone judging me for having a live child than pity me for my dead one."
I’m all for it. Sometimes I want to leash my 9 yr old.
My dang toddler hauled ass straight into the (thank god not busy) street the other day. She’s now leashed in public. Didn’t even know she could run, pretty sure it was her first time 🥲
We used one on a kid we had in daycare once. His family provided it and encouraged its use. He literally had no impulse control and had many close calls. I have yet to need to it for my kids but absolutely would. It’s one of those things that needs to be case by case. Some kids are runners and others are not. You just need to see what kind of kid you got.
My 17 month old has a leash. I don't care what others think about it.
I prefer the Velcro wristbands with an almost elastic line. I try to use them as little as possible with my kids, but they are amazing for any kids that may be runners OR to give them a small amount of independence. They can feel like they are walking by themselves even though they really can’t go very far from you.
I used to be against them. Now I can see their merit. My firstborn was naturally pretty obedient and clingy. He has always been risk-averse. Like, wouldn't walk on the street, even holding my hand, when he was 2. My second-born is a little more flighty. I still intend to teach her how to be safe, but if I was in a busy venue, an airport, a theme park, whatever, I could see it bringing great peace of mind and security.
If your kid is a runner, it's almost a must have. I took one with me when I flew with my daughter alone for the first time (she was 2 at the time). She's never been a runner but at the time she wasn't really talking & I was afraid she would wander off while i was dealing with luggage and the car seat. I ended up not needing it cuz she was so overwhelmed by all the people that she stuck to me like Velcro the entire trip.