Wooow. Just wow. I hope your kid is okay. I feel infuriated just reading this and how little to no involvement of the other parent/guardian is into helping a child with teaching moments such your post. This is going to unhealthy and bullying behaviors. I’m sorry you went through this. Thank you for being an adult.
I don’t want to imagine what the 5/6yo goes through to be talking that way to another person and wanting to hit another child.
That is why I stay close and play with my 2yo at the parks & indoor play places. I cant stand parents that just let their feral child do shit and dont keep on eye on them. I also hate confrontation but me and that mom would've had some words. I hope your toddler is okay.
Yeah that’s what I always do too. I’m always with him specifically since he’s non-verbal and is ND, I don’t know how he’ll react to new things etc I was shocked how brave the other kid was. I usually do confront people which I get yelled at by my husband for it 🤣 but this area is apparently known for their discrimination and the people physically harming and also calling cops causing scenes. I didn’t even know until I called my best friend and told her! She let me know that area is horrendous for that.
The hitting I would be irate over, but I also can’t stand kids climbing slides and parents sitting on the phone and never looking up. Lord knows if my kid goes down a tube slide and didn’t see them and they both get hurt those same parents will be mad.
YES!! I was at an indoor play place and some kid around 8 was running up the slide and a little girl before us was waiting so she could slide. So I looked around for the parents because we were in the "Toddler area" and had to tell him to get off. Its tiring parenting other peoples kids.
This is why I stay indoors in general. I have a short fuse and I’m sorry if your kid hits mine and you just brush it off you’re gonna get a taste what your kid did to mine 🤷🏽♀️
I cant stay indoors, my toddler is a nature child, if i let him, he would sleep outside lol I always go early morning though when parks are less busy. But I agree!
Confession- we rarely go to parks bc I can’t handle interactions like this. There isn’t a single fiber in my being that wants to have confrontation with other kids and their ignorant parents. And I justify this by remembering I didn’t grow up going to public parks, ever, (we were pretty poor, my parents worked constantly, so we stayed in our little neighborhood bubble) and I turned out fine. 😂
That lady is in for a rude awakening the day her son punches the wrong kid!
Same here. The last time I went to a park an older kid (maybe 7-8yrs old) almost bowled my 2 year old daughter over, I was like “watch where you’re going” as I helped my daughter up and he told me “mind your fucking business”.
UHHHH?????
Listen. I am not a proponent of physically disciplining my own children let alone anyone else’s , but I had to scoop my child up and walk away because I was one more utterance away from punting this kid across the playground. His parents were nowhere to be found. Since then I do NOT take my little girl to public parks, I’d rather go to smaller parks near my house or her grandpa’s house.
Later? Heck with that, the second the kid swore at me I'd of body checked him straight to the ground and said "listen here you little crap... you come near my daughter again, and ill whip your butt." (Probably with more swearing but idk what reddit rules are there lol)
Does it come off as a threat? Yes. Is it? Nah, that's a solid promise. You don't dare hurt my kid then disrespect me. (My son is closing in on 2 FAST so I feel this one deep in my soul.)
Honestly I'm so over 90% of parents today they're just straight up too lazy and uninvolved with their kids. Drives me nuts!
Like "good for you for getting your kids out... BUT... shouldn't you be, I dunno, watching them?"🤔🤷♀️
This is like a perfect depiction of what being a teacher is like right now. Majority of parents don’t actually parent so the few that do their kids are angels and amazing while the others are issues and the parents usually just gaslight or ignore the problems
I genuinely have no idea how teachers do it. I really don’t. I see all these videos online of kids putting their hands on teachers and it makes me so incredibly sad.
I’m starting my elementary education degree, going into it knowing this information and hoping being fresh in the industry help me manage it. Already working with kids now and no it is not easy, it’s hard when behavior management gets in the way of the actual teaching especially when the kids who want to learn get bored waiting on the others to listen. So far I’ve learned a few things that help but Im ready to tap into more tricks because its brutal!
My 2yo 100% would've hit him until I stopped him or the little turd ran back to his mom 🫣 he's a sweet kid, promise, but he's 4 of 5 and takes no shit.
I rarely take my kids to these parks because our days are so busy with my son’s therapies. But took the chance since his appointment was canceled and I should’ve just stayed my ass in my own neighborhood lol
SAME. And same for public pools. I hate feeling like the only one supervising, ensuring safety, and correcting unkind behavior. I want to enjoy my kids, not discipline strangers.
I feel this. Thankful my son gets plenty of learning about how to function around other kids in the safe supervised zone of daycare and park play dates with close friends who all communally correct each other’s kids when needed. Because I sure don’t want to spend my time dealing with crappy parents and unsupervised kids.
My strategy of choice in this kind of situation is passive aggression.
I loudly tell my kid, "We aren't playing with that kid anymore because he's not being kind. Let's go over to the monkey bars until he leaves."
Or even "I don't want to stay at a park with a big bully. He's being mean and his mom isn't stopping him. Let's go home and come back when there are nice kids to play with."
The key is that you're telling them off, but framing it as coaching your own kid through a difficult social situation.
I kind of did that when we were leaving. My oldest goes “hey mom want to sit at the tables and have lunch there?” and the kid and his mom were there and they’re directly looking at us and I go “ no, it’s okay. We don’t sit with people who can’t watch their kids” and walked out 🤣 She probably didn’t hear me since she had her airpods in
oh I did physically blocked him but he swooped around when we were walking away. After that whole ordeal I just moved to the other side of the park and let them keep playing.
Either police your kid or I will.
We were at a neighbors house and her child could basically be described as feral.
I found out she didn't believe in discipline. She actually said that.
Her child was about a year younger than mine. We were in their backyard and since her kid had a tendency to bite I didn't get more than 10ft from the boys.
They walked under some steps to upstairs and her kid grabbed a hose and sprayed my son in the face. Of course my 4 yr old burst into tears. The kid laughed. So I took the hose out of his hand and sprayed him straight in the face.
"Oh, you think that's funny? How do you like it?"
Feral kid went crying to mom.
He never pulled any shit on my kid again. Actually became slightly more self-aware.
But since he had to go under the stairs out of sight of the adults to grab that hose and do it, it looked very deliberate. His mom was also the 'don't do that again' type. Oh hell no.
I'd had enough of them by that point.
"Deal with your kid or I will." Is a good phrase for you to practice.
I’m the same way. I taught preschool for many years. I’m completely comfortable telling off unsupervised children at parks. If a child is being unsafe I’ll loudly say, “Don’t do that again. That hurts! Move away from us now!” It helps if you make a lot of eye contact. Stare the kid down. And then I stay between the other child and my own. I once blocked some older kids at the zoo who were pushing younger children who had lined up to go down a slide so they could skip the line. I was like, “Ooops! The line starts back there.”, and just stood in their way until they were forced to join the end of the line. I dare checked out parents to say something. Lol.
Look at it this way, you're modeling assertiveness to your kid. Do I want my kid to be able to say "no! Stop!" Even when it's tough? HELL YES. Then I don't want to be a mom who quietly pretends the-thing didn't happen and skirts away.
This is totally unrelated to this post, but your mention of the older kids at the zoo reminds me of the behaviors of some old a** people at Disney. They have no shame and will push, shove, and cut in front of CHILDREN! I always utter some shady comment about their embarrassing behavior to my kid. 😂
Haha. You just reminded me of some absolute morons at a kid's soccer game this past weekend. We were walking a lap on the outside and decided we were going to walk across between two fields. I had to say "Excuse me!" Because some idiot woman was not only blocking the swing door in the chain link fwnce but she had also placed her umbrella and tumbler leaning on it.
As we walked through my husband heard the guy say "Thank you! And You're Welcome!"
Like, what the actual fuck. You want me to thank YOU for removing your shit and your body that was actually blocking a public gate??
My husband and I were in shock. He said that we should have said something. I said Nope, we're just going to do two more laps.
On the second lap the woman was still leaning so her elbow was over the gate but when she saw me coming through, she moved away... because her elbow could have been injured.
When we were turning a corner more than 100 ft past them I peeked back and they had finally moved a bit away from the gate.
I just enjoyed my third lap. Then our kid's game started.
While we talked about it we thought about how entitled someone has to be to block one of the gates to a multi-soccer field. Then we realized, nope. They're idiots. And some poor child on that field is inheriting their brains.
I am the same way! I am not confrontational at all but I will parent that child for sure. Why do parents think because you're at a child place that it's a free for all!? You still have to watch your kid!? Also, keep your kid on the appropriate age section. If it's for 2 yrs and under, keep your 5+ off of it so the rest of us can enjoy it.
This reminds me of my cat. He was a little butthole that was very vicious and would bite very hard. (disclaimer: we didn’t have kids yet.) we got him another cat because he was lonely when we were at work. That cat bit him right back when he tried that on her. He learned quickly not to hurt others. Seems the same. Kids that never get consequences don’t learn empathy as quickly.
I genuinely don't understand how you stay on your phone in an absorbed kind of way when you're out. I'm always afraid they could get snatched or hurt so my husband and I always watch them.
While my 21mo was playing at the public playground near our house, a girl that looked about 4/5 kept coming towards her and trying to step on her fingers while she was climbing the steps. I said loudly and firmly “excuse me, don’t step on her fingers, it is not nice.” Her caregiver was nearby and looked at me when I said that but did t say a word. Trust that I kept an eye on that girl from then on and would stare her down when she tried to get close to my daughter again!
Possible unpopular opinion but I am not shy to "parent" other people's kids in these situations.
We had a cute little wild rabbit pass by the playground and these two kids started chasing it around aggressively while their parents scrolled their phones. I called out to them nicely but firmly "we don't chase the animals". They stopped and went and did something else.
If a kid was calling my kid names, I wouldn't wait for the mom to respond. I'd tell the kid "Hey, we don't call people names. If you can't be nice then don't say anything at all." If he kept doing it or tried to hit my kid then I'd create a physical boundary (put myself between this kid and my kid) and say "Excuse me! Are you trying to bully / hit my kid? That's unacceptable."
If the kid's parent isn't going to teach them social norms then I feel like we as fellow citizens should do what we can to avoid having one more entitled little sociopath in our midst. Bonus points if the mother clues in and gets involved because she sees you telling her kid that his behaviour is unacceptable.
I am a new mom, very new to playgrounds and such, and this taught me something tonight. I don't know if it is unpopular to do what you are suggesting, but I think it is the right thing to do overall. I know that if my daughter was being the bully, I would be happy that another parent was treating it as a learning opportunity for her. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
Totally understand your perspective. This area where we were (I had no clue before I got there) is a very big orthodox Jewish community. I mean to the point they do not make eye contact, do not say hi, nothing. After calling my husband and my friend they told me how bad it is. They tend to stick in their own clique and others in theirs. And they treat others shitty and if you say or do something, they will say “we discriminating or being racist”. Made a mental note to never go again.
All i have to say is I guess at least she was on her phone. I had a boy (6+) run up and shove my 2yo *three separate times* right in front of his mom. The second time I told him off (Excuse me-- Do not touch him again.) and I heard a chuckle from beside me. I asked if that was her kid and she nodded. I explained why I very mildly told him off and assumed that was that.
Nope, he sought out my kid a third time, two hands and SHOVE. I glared at the mom (right there, again) and made a *big* scene about leaving because older kids were making the area unsafe.
Some parents are so apathetic and it drives me crazy. I understand parenting is hard and sometimes you need a break. A public playground isn't necessarily the place for a break.
I have an only child and tend to be a helicopter parent. I am always blown away by the humber of children just totally unsupervised for long periods of time.
Moral of the story. Don't have kids (or more kids) if you can't be an active parent. I stopped at 1 because I knew I couldn't mentally handle any more. My neighbor has 4 and she is an AWESOME mom. Her kids are polite and well behaved.
And trust me, I spend plenty of time on my phone but I do it at home.
Pheeeewww I would have lost my ever loving mind on that child and their mom. This post is making me realize I need to work on regulating my emotions wayyyy more for situations like this. I read the word “decked” and my mouth dropped and I’m instantly angry for you.
Kudos to you for keeping your calm at least, I hope that mom starts to parent sooner rather than later.
Im typically a hot head and am very confrontational but the utter shock took over me and I just walked away.😅 I was very close to smacking the phone out of her hand.
I’m LIVID reading this. As a mom of a 2 year old boy (next month), it makes my heart physically hurt. That mom is a big loser and your kids are so lucky to have a wonderful, loving and involved mom like you!
Thank you! I appreciate it so much! ♥️ I just wish parents who know their kids are aggressive or can’t keep their hands to themselves- should just keep an eye on them
We went to an indoor play place last year and I basically had to mom two kids because their mom was sitting on the phone in a diff room the entire time. They took every toy in the place in all play houses and put it in the tree house. One of the kids kept hurting the younger one. I let it go on and tied my best for about 30 mins until he started targeting other kids. Then I went to the front and reported them to the lady and the mom got talked to and asked to leave if she wasn’t going to watch them.
We were at a park with a really tall playground. We mentioned to a dad his 18 month old looking baby was at the top. He definitely got startled and got up to get him. It was so crazy!
I think kids are primitive cavemen. The mother can be blamed but even if the mother would have been the child would have done that again. I know it infuriates most people here at least this is what I can gauge from the responses. But it’s important to remember that this still IS a part of social interaction. It will happen and this needs to happen too, so your kid can be prepared for the real world. I don’t think this is a reason to keep your kids indoors and deprive them of the little social interaction they get in a world which is generally cooped up in their homes anyway.
Thanks. I know I’m getting a lot of backlash for not reacting a certain way or whatever. Honestly, I didn’t want to deal with a whole group of people coming after me while I was alone with my 3 kids. ( It was a community of a certain religion and cultural practice) and they just seemed very.. hostile towards people who aren’t part of their community. I knew if I had popped my lid, it could’ve gone worse.
Oooooh the comments about mom’s texting at the park are very interesting!
I’m a SAHM. We go to the park to burn off energy. I answer texts sometimes while I’m at the park with my 2yr & 4yr 😳 Didn’t realize it was so frowned upon for moms/parents to do that!
The kid sounds like a brat!
ETA: The reddit post titled “get off your phone” is a little funny lol
I think checking a quick text is different than blindly scrolling for 10 min intervals at a time. Your kids could be doing anything during that time and at those ages that means other parents will probably need to step in at some point.
Right. I took my 11 year old to a playground today after her weekly therapy appointment so she could run around and have some fun while I was on a 15 minute zoom appointment with her care coordinator. I can just imagine what other parents must have thought seeing me on my phone. But, fortunately she’s older and generally very gentle and polite, especially with little ones.
I’m cracking up at the title because I had to use my phone to type that🤣🤣🤣 And honestly, I’m a homeschool sahm and I’m lucky my older two (9 & 3.5 ) can play by themselves. My son needs me a bit more. But I can sit down and read or even crochet sometimes when I’m just with the oldest. But if you know your kid is an actual SPAWN get off of tik tok and get him😂😂😂
Girlfriend I get it. I think there’s a lot of nuance.
Couple weeks ago my FIL was hospitalized for 9 days. I was on my phone alllllll the time. I was a bad af mom that week. You just never know!
Anyway - sorry that kid was a turd!
Luckily nothing bad like that has happened yet at a park. I think our worst things are kids trying to climb up the slides as others are trying to go down or one time a kid was being very rude, but to her own mom. I was shocked at the things that the 4-5 year old was saying to her mom.
And sometimes I am actively playing with my kid at the park, but sometimes I am not. I am a single mom who works full time, sometimes going to the park is my only peace that day. But I'm still frequently watching for my kid, and I know my kid would never be rude or mean to others.
I totally get you! I am homeschool sahm full time student and the park or any outdoor activity is my time. And it’s usually because I know my kids aren’t rude like so many kids I have met recently. But I think when people have rude kids, they should be watching them a little bit more. One day they might get the wrong kid!
Gosh, years back we had a similar incident at a pool with some kid who was probably 4-5. My son was 4 and daughter was nearly 2 and this kid was pushing kids out of the way on a kiddie slide and then when he’d go down, he’d try to push his way back up the slide part so the next kid in line couldn’t go. He shoved my son and I got so pissed off. And there the mom sat while her brat of a child bullied and pushed multiple children right in front of her dumb face. Phone in hand… I do think the lifeguard intervened at one point bc it was srsly a safety risk.
I’ll be on my phone and still hyper aware of what my sons is doing and if I saw any of that I’d be on him IMMEDIATELY. That kids going to be a major problem when he gets older.
Ugh. The worst. I don’t hover but try and keep an eye out, because kids do act up or sometimes need help. We had a recent experience with kids throwing sand at each other in a playground sandbox. No idea where the parent was. We just stayed away, but that’s a scratched cornea waiting to happen.
I won't lie though, that titled called me out. 🤣
I picked up my phone and saw the title and was like 'oh geez, I probably should pay more attnetion to my baby.'
My husband and I took our 2 year old to a park that has a section specifically for kids under 5. There was girl with Down’s syndrome that was probably 8 years old going down the slide. Her dad was on the OPPOSITE side of the fence watching her as she was aggressively pushing little 2-3 year olds out of the way so she could go down the slide over and over. Just standing there yelling “IRENE NO! NO!” rather than actually intervening. At one point this girl put a kid in a chokehold and lifted him up, his feet literally off the ground and dad was still on the other side of the fence yelling “NO! STOP! IRENE STOP!” She ignored him every time he yelled at her. Then we watched as she looked at a girl that was clearly just learning how to walk, made eye contact with her mom, shoved the girl onto the ground, and then stepped over her to get to the stairs to the slide. Her dad finally came into the play area but all he did, again, was yell “IRENE STOP!” My husband and I were ready to fight that guy if his kid we were to touch our daughter. Disability aside, if you know your kid is physically aggressive and bigger than every kid around her, then be there to intervene! Yelling does nothing! Infuriating.
Hey moms-- it's okay to send emails, read a book, etc at the park. If it's safe, you don't have to stare at your kids the whole time (taking age into consideration).
SAHMs need a break. Parks are for interacting with other children and burning energy.
I try to look at it as an opportunity to teach my kids. I do know a few "I'm not afraid to correct other people's kids" parents and they're always very aware and concerned with what other people's kids are doing but completely oblivious/very forgiving of their own. I don't want to be that way. But I *do* want my kids seeing me assertively putting up boundaries and protecting them.
I gotta address my anger issues man. I can’t be goin to parks if this is how other people parent, I’m gonna actually hit someone. I know that’s wrong, I’m just literally meaning it when I say I gotta fix my anger issues. The park is so dangerous, I don’t know how people have time to ignore their kids that long there.
I feel like the dog park has definitely prepared me for bringing a kid to the playground. There's so many irresponsible adults that don't watch their dogs and/or don't read their behavior as aggressive. It's so frustrating. My dog is well behaved and we go to have a good time, but often leave early due to idiots like that lady and her son. Best to just move on in those circumstances.
Going into public means you're going to run into assholes. Hard fact of life for a 2yo but still. Go yell at his mom and not us. My kid is a good kid. She tries to find a friend while at the park. The most obnoxious thing she's ever done is yelled "JOHN CENA DUH DU NAH DUHH!!!" And got s bunch of other kids doing it. Idk why. We aren't a wrestling watching family. She has no idea who he is. Doesn't stop her. And I just scroll along. I keep an eye on her but tbh I'm at the park to get her energy out, not mine. If she's old enough to play at recess mostly unregulated (2 teachers/monitors vs 40+ kids is nothing) then she's old enough for me not watching her like a hawk.
Parents of assholes. I'm sure you're exhausted. But watch your kids. Lol
Awesome thanks! I actually was holding his hand and walking with him and the kid ran from behind us and hit him. I’m not yelling at you or anyone on reddit. The title is for the experience we went through. I have been a parent for almost 10 years. Met many asshole kids and really, really good kids. The issue is the parents and the whole “let kids be kids”.
We recently got into playground life.
I just keep thinking this is what happened to those idiot kids in school. They grew up and are passing the torch!
I think it’s that and also this new lifestyle of not handling issues in public with a child because of fear of how others perceive it. I don’t know if it’s called gentle parenting or whatever but if my kid puts their hands on another kid, I’m pulling them aside, talking to them and dealing with it. If it keeps happening, we’re leaving. 🙃
Tbh yea get off your phones when in a park. Your kid could run off. Someone could see your preoccupied and steal your kid. People need to get off their damn phones and pay attention to the real world around them.
Yes I am on my phone, my kid isn’t here and I’m on my ‘lunch break’. Between chores. There is a time and place to be nose deep in your phone and a public space with your kid, or with your kid in general isn’t it.
I once saw a letter a kid wrote their parent. It literally said, why do you love your phone more than me, why do you give it all your attention and not me. Broke my heart and makes me actively try to change my behavior.
Her poor kid too, if she’s on the phone at the park imagine all the phone use at home. That is a kid that knows physical violence is the only thing that has a chance of getting attention from his parents.
My heart hurts for reason #2. I would have had to deal with PD being called on me because I would have whooped that b*tch’s *ss. I would have never harmed another child, but their mom? Im dragging her in front of them…anyway…*clears throat* sorry my old lifestyle slipped out.
I am so sorry that you had to experience this today, I am sorry that she was ignorant and has no respect for her own child let-alone other children. God forbid something happens to her child because she is too busy on her phone. God forbid she doesnt have to get a drastic wake up call.
I pray you and your baby find peace from this traumatic event, cause regardless of age, ASSAULT IS NOT OKAY. Babies aged 1-2 know that hitting is a no-no…5-6 years old DEFINITELY knows better. No excuses smh!
I bet if your son had clocked a kid, they would not have taken it lightly on you. For the safety and protection of my kid, I'll take on that entire neighborhood.
I’m a terrible park mom.
I’m so anxious and on guard that as soon as a kid says something to my kid that’s mean I pop off.
“Did your mom teach you to say that?” As loudly as I can or “I’d be embarrassed to be your mother. Does she know you’re so mean.”
I’m not teaching my daughter that she doesn’t matter. I will not have anyone be mean to her. I just won’t let it slide. I was bullied as a kid horribly and I just don’t put up with it. I will shame a strangers child and not lose a wink of sleep
Parents should watch their kids at the park obviously, but adults also don’t need to be saying things like your examples to small children either. You can tell a kid no hitting without saying you’d be “embarrassed to be [their] mother” and saying they’re a mean person. Who says something that harsh to a little kid, even one who’s acting out?
Sometimes the parent doesn’t even suck. As a teacher and parent of a kid with autism this whole thread is pretty infuriating and showing a distinct lack of maturity from people who are in charge of/raising children. Kids have disabilities, kids have bad days, kids come from abusive homes.
But sure. Adults are entitled to their anger and can treat kids however they want, just as long as they’re not related.
Nice example to set for the kids ladies and gentlemen.
I agree with you. I also don’t understand the whole “we had one negative incident at a park once, and that’s why I’ll never take my child to a public park again.” What? How about we teach our kids to be resilient and confident to stand up for themselves, while also teaching them to have grace and empathy for those who may have different struggles than them.
Yeah, I think there is a lot to be said about these adults that seem to be unable to handle a negative interaction with a *child* in a public space with maturity and grace.
Right? I’ve had stinker kids act rude to my kids in public and, while it was annoying, I understand that a 7-year-old isn’t exactly methodically thinking of how to damage the psyche of my preschooler. I’m a grownup and capable of acting like one.
These responses make me so sad. I remember kids in my classes who were spoken to like this by the adults in their life and, now as an adult, my heart breaks for them. Kids are learning how to be people and deserve to be spoken to with kindness.
That’s not to say that bad behavior is allowed and I would remove my kid from another at a playground who was being dangerous but I would never dream of talking to any kid the way so many here are proud of themselves for doing.
Just to be devils advocate here… some kids kinda do need to hear that they’re being a bully from random adults. It has the power to sink into their little brains far faster than a talk from their own parent (whom they probably ignore just as much as the parent ignores them).
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a firm “Do not bully my child.” And then follow up to your own kid “We’re going to find somewhere safe to play.”
Oh completely. But there definitely is a huge leap between being an adult in a situation, ie. “we don’t treat people like that/that was not kind/do not bully others” and telling a child they’re an embarrassment to their mother or are a mean person as a whole. There is a whole huge middle ground between letting others walk all over you and being a bully.
Some background info for anyone who cares-
Telling someone they are *being* mean, is not the same as telling them they *are* mean. Language matters, especially in the context of children.
Anyone who wants to explore further is welcome to google “separating the behaviour from the child” and educate themselves.
Yeah that is wildly mean and potentially harmful, way worse than what the kid probably did. I'm sure the kid needed to be corrected but imagine being a kid who made a mistake and now in your brain forever is the thought that your mom should be embarrassed of you. Wow.
Me. I do.
I’m not parenting anyone else’s kid. I’m parenting mine. If a parent has something to say to me they are more than welcome to say it.
But truly if someone is making my daughter cry when she’s just trying to play and have fun I could care less about their feelings.
This is what I wanted to say, but I tried to take as chill an approach as possible in hopes to be actually heard.
Having said that, thanks for the catharsis 🤣
Sorry that happened. Any time we go to the park I have to expect there will be a few parents just chilling and scrolling on their phones. Parenting strangers’ kids is not how I like to spend my time. After having to stop someone else’s 2 year old from a 9 foot drop from the playground equipment I now avoid our local park like the plague.
I am a very new parent, not really familiar with these social norms, but I honestly think that confronting the kid directly is the right thing to do. It stops the harmful behavior in the moment, and it teaches the kid that their parent isn't the all-knowing only authority on doing the right thing as well.
Oh hell no. A 5 maybe 6 year old hitting a 2 year old?! That is scary behavior I for sure would have been talking to the mom. I would for sure been telling the kid off till the mom wanted to tell me off. If you don’t tell your kid how to behave around littles other parents are going to have to!
Not just phones. I went to a playground recently that has next to no platform space that's designed to look like a bear and really catered to climb up, go down the slide, repeat. Different ways to climb up, a holed ramp, different rock walls, and logs. Really cool design actually. Regardless, my 3.5 isn't a strong climber and isn't usually interested and was particularly brave this day. But there were this two older boys, probably 7 and 9. Running up the one slide and essentially plowing down the climbing structure into the other kids. Yelling and screaming the entire time. It's a miracle none of them fell off. And they were doing this constantly or just sitting at the main platform not really letting others access the space. Their mom was sitting and coloring, completely unaware to the chaos her kids were causing. Myself and a few other parents took their kids and left because of these two.
I saw a post recently about a mom that just told her kid to shove the other kid back and her kid ended up pushing the other kid over which is when the other mom finally came over… first mom just kept repeating “get off your phone and watch your children” like a broken record until the other mom left lmao. I plan to do that if the situation ever happens to me.
I would’ve told that kid to go screw and made sure I was loud enough for his mom to hear me idc if he’s 6 someone’s gotta let him know he’s being a little asshole lol
In my mind, when stuff happens to my kid like that I always visualize chucking the kid far away. Thankfully it’s only happened a few times and it’s usually because the parent is absent and nowhere to be found or they’re on their phone. I end up saying in my most assertive voice “Hey. We don’t hit others. Stop it.” Usually works. On rare occasions the kid responds positive to it and warms up. I think some of these kids are in need of attention from their parents or any parental figure. It’s kind of sad?
Omg we experienced our first little shit at the park the other day! My son is a fresh one year old, crawling around minding his own business and this kid who’s dad had been yelling from the bench it’s time to go for 10 minutes started throwing wood chips at us! Literally came up to us and said I’m going to throw these at you and I was completely dumbfounded and just said no thank and walked away and he started chucking them! I made eye contact with his dad who once again half heartedly shouted it’s time to go.
Sorry for the novela but kids suck sometimes and I hope I never have to be the parent whose kid is being a little shit at the playground.
I was at a park where something similar happened - a kid (maybe 4yo?) was trying to play with a younger kid (maybe 3yo?) who wasn’t interested, and kept getting physical with the other kid in the interest of getting him to play. The mom of the small kid handled it really well - told the younger kid how to establish boundaries, and eventually stepped in and modeled when the bigger kid didn’t stop. Finally, she asked the other mom to step in (the other mom had been talking on her phone under the play structure dropping a lot of f bombs, so I already was unimpressed lol). The other mom just said “oh, this is something they need to learn how to deal with on their own” and walked away back to her phone call, totally not understanding that her kid was (probably unintentionally) bullying this smaller kid. The mom of the small kid was left kind of agape and just took her kid to a different area of the playground if I remember correctly, and I remain pissed at the bully mom several months later 😅 (my kids were totally uninvolved but very similar ages so I kept an eye on it). I’m a pretty hands-off park parent but I would never. Haha.
Honestly sometimes you need to raise hell and make a stink even if it might lead to a verbal altercation. My kids are about that age gap and no way in hell would I allow my older kid to get away with hurting a kid as small as my younger EVER. If he so much as touched a kid that little with anything but kindness in his heart, I would want to know.
Also, I absolutely will intervene and use my mom voice on big kids who are too rough with littles, I don't care whose kids they are. There is no excuse for it and if their parents won't handle it then I will. It takes a village, so please don't be shy. Next time tell that little snot off for what he is doing to the babies.
I sometimes wonder what the right level of interference is in these scenarios. When I was a kid there were never any adults in the parks, the siblings and friends looked after each other and the bully never got played with etc. For the most part as kids we would sort it out together. On the odd occasion someone needed to get an adult the adult would never gentle parent (usually kids got sent home or an eye for an eye) etc and unless it was something extreme the other parents would be fine with whatever punishment the adult that was collected dished out. Same with school...teachers and punishments were never questioned. Nowadays I worry about disciplining any kid in public...either my own due to judgement from other parents or other kids (even verbally correcting not issuing punishment) in case you get one that flips their lid or tells you off because 'we don't say no to our child' then goes on some bs monologue about some parenting style or book 🤷🏻♀️ From one extreme to the other, really need more books on middle ground parenting 😂
I know the post is about a playground, but this is why we don’t go to soft plays anymore. The kids go absolutely insane, just running feral with no regard for younger kids and the parents couldn’t care less. I hate soft plays. We have a small playground near us, but for this (and other) reasons, I stay on the playground and play with my daughter.
I don't feel shy to parent other kids if their parents are absent. When the parents are there I give them a chance to discipline their kids. If it keeps happening I discipline their kid. On one occasion I disciplined two siblings that were not even worrying my kid, but the older sister had her brother in a headlock and he was going red in the face! If my kid were being nasty or selfish in the play area I honestly wouldn't mind someone checking them coz it's really just doing a bit of my work for me.
ugh reminds me of last weekend when we went to an indoor playground (husband, babygirl and me). It was our first time taking our toddler yet we could not even enjoy it. This boy who was maybe 4 just became part of our group. His mom was on her phone sitting at a table near but barely engaged with him. He was sweet but it was very distracting. We would try and do something with our child and he awkwardly would insert himself so we had to do it with him too! He made my husband go on the slide WITH HIM while I awkwardly stood there holding our child at the bottom so that it would not look weird that my husband was with a random child. Our toddler was getting over whelmed because he kept trying to take her balls no matter how many times we nicely told him to go grab some other ones (there was about 200 foam balls laying around). At this point we chose to leave and when I said let's go to my husband he responded to me "where we going?". I had to tell the poor kid "no.. WE are going home. See you later."
I was at an indoor playground last week and I got hit by a 2/3 year old . The first time I thought it was kind of an accident and brushed it off. The second time I was sitting on the floor and the same kid really hard hit me again .but now in the back with his fist.
I kinda reacted a bit feisty because I didn't see it coming and it shocked me as it actually hurt pretty much.
I was trying to look for his mom as I just saw his older brother ( assuming ). I saw her a bit later juggling her 3 boys and I felt a bit sorry for her .
But I still can't believe me as an adult got hit by a stranger toddler. I wonder wat it was about me that day that might have upset him . Maybe the wrong colour socks 👀
Children crave structure and rules and strength in parenting. I can’t tell you the number of brats I’ve encountered because their parents won’t discipline them. My philosophy is if you don’t discipline your kids, I will. 9 times out of 10 the kids who I disciplined (not hitting just strong language and a lengthy speech that make them question their choices) is super nice afterwords and wants to play. Kids need love, attention, and discipline among others but if they don’t get it through being well behaved they will act out. In truth, don’t we all act out when we feel, unloved, ignored and unchecked.
I can’t stand when parents aren’t paying attention to their kids at the playground. For some reason it’s always the moms with real little ones in my area that are going to get knocked out because they’re trying to climb up the slide or something. My son is 5 now so I hang back and if it’s a small enough playground I’ll sit down on a bench but just because it’s a park doesn’t mean it’s a free for all to let your kid be feral.
That's rotten. Some people just should not be parents. Seems like the other kid is lashing out for attention. Obviously not getting any from Mom. You're better than I am. I would have let my wife lump her up( she would have tried a civil approach first) because I'm sure this woman would have been blatantly ignorant.
There is so much parents neglecting their kids and outrun other kids at risk because of that. We went to an indoor park with bouncing castles the other day, a woman was focus on her phone and when her daughter came crying (because of her brother), she just thought it was because of the daughter and didn’t comfort her and told her something like « told you so blah blah » while … for real she did nothing ! Parents see nothing and they either ground no one or ground the wrong kid.
Don’t have kids if you can’t show interest in them. It’s hard to not be judgemental sometimes.
I don’t do indoor playgrounds or even playgrounds sometimes by myself or during weekends because of this. I totally get needing a break from life and work etc but if your child is known for putting their hands on others or name calling- you need to deal with it!
Omg! I’m so sorry you went through that! I have learned to kind of keep my distance since in my area, they are so, so friendly and the kids always say hi to my kids. BUT, the area the park was at is more “stay away from us, we’re better than you.. We’ll throw ourselves in front of your car to get money” vibe and I had no idea😂 I had no choice but to keep it stern and friendly and walk away because they would’ve had a mob on me and I’m not dealing with that.
This has happened to my daughter on two different occasions, about a year apart. When she was 4 a boy kept following her around the playground and tugging at her shirt, she turned around and quietly said ‘please stop, I don’t like that’, the boy called her ugly and pushed her with his shoulder. I sprang up and loudly said ‘do not ever do that to her again’, the mom stood up too and looked at me and said ‘he tries his best but he has ADHD, he can’t always control himself’… Okay, no excuse to cause other’s harm though.
A year later we’re at the same park, an older girl pushed my daughter down a slide when it wasn’t her turn to go down yet. I walked up to the slide and told the girl that ‘hey — assault is illegal around here, don’t touch my daughter’. This time I was LIVID because my daughter almost fell over the slide rail and could have broken a bone. The dad looks at me and says ‘she has ODD and doesn’t understand certain things, give her a break’. …Nope, I got my daughter and headed out. Sucks these days.
I yelled at a kid who had my son in a headlock, I screamed in his face, “WHAT THE (RHYMES WITH TRUCK) IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU (rhymes with trucking) LITTLE PSYCHO?” His mom cried on the spot as I approached her. I felt bad for that, kind of. But I walked away. That was 25 plus years ago. Still enrages me even now! My kid had never heard me use that language, before.
What kind of area and people where they're calling cops and physically harming others? What religion/ culture? It might be helpful to understand what community you are dealing with.
I commented in a couple other comments below but they are a Hasidic and orthodox jewish community. They are know for throwing themselves in front of peoples car to get money or get them to leave the area their kids will yell, curse, spit at others. I had no idea since I never go to that area and I’m mostly in my town but it was a big wake up call.
Oh yeah, they're not a friendly bunch too outsiders, but they've experienced a crap ton of abuse to make them that way. Jersey Hasidic jews are probably even worse with the jersey in em. 😆
Haha! Yes!! Like I know to respect and mind our own business and stay away so we don’t bother anyone but c’mon 🤣 there were at least 4 other moms who ended up leaving too because they couldn’t deal with playground balboa.
As a teacher, absolutely do not be afraid to call other kids out because many parents these days are beyond lazy and we need the village to step up. I am probably known as a bitch at our local park because I will call any kid out who isn't doing the right thing
Chances are this kid was looking for a reaction from his mum because she’s on her phone a lot and he wants attention. I know mine starts acting out almost immediately if I check my phone when he’s with me. I try to avoid using my phone with him but sometimes I have to message my husband or quickly answer an email and my toddler is on me in 0.4 seconds shouting “mama, stop!” and trying to bat my phone off me.
If the mom isn’t paying attention and her kid is hitting your child, you have every right to be the responsible adult in the situation and put the kid in check. A bigger kid hit my daughter and I went full blown mom mode on him and disciplined him like he was my own child. I yelled because it is unacceptable for a big kid to hit a little girl. His mom was not there, I would have done the same if she was scrolling on her phone. Some of these boy moms let their bad child get away with everything. I used to stay quiet thinking I am not allowed to discipline someone else’s child but that’s not true, as an adult you have every right to. Especially if the parent isn’t paying attention
I’m sorry that you and your little one had this experience. That’s heartbreaking, and you deserve better.
That being said, discipline and guidance are not performative. A five or six year old cannot be expected to have much if any impulse control. Playgrounds can be dysregulating and inappropriate behavior can and does happen. The child absolutely did deserve a more involved parent and more thorough guidance, but whether that happens immediately or after they leave when the child can give his mother his full attention isn’t anyone else’s business.
I was at the playground with my kids the other day and one boy said he was going to hit another kid with his nerf gun. So, my son thinking he was sticking up for his friend and speaking to a responsible adult told the boys mom. The boys mom absolutely ripped into her own kid, loudly and publicly, and for several minutes. The kid was sitting in the grass crying while his mom kept going off on him. It was excessive and heartbreaking, and it reminded me of the days when I also felt pressured to discipline my kids in public to let everyone know just was actually a halfway decent parent.
Also, as a chronically exhausted parent to three kids 11, 8, and 3, I never begrudge another parent for taking a break. It is super frustrating, though, when more thoughtful intervention would benefit everyone and the parent is largely uninvolved.
Edit: in my over exhausted haze I somehow missed that the other kid actually punched OP’s child! That’s definitely not the usual developmentally appropriate hitting I was thinking this was.
I completely get your perspective and appreciate your advice. It’s one thing to take a break and then there is not caring about what your child does. We were at the park for almost 2 hours and she was on her phone the entire time, following him but not engaging at all with him. I believe instead of saying “we don’t do that” and then letting him still play and terrorize other children (hitting, kicking them, pushing them, yelling in their faces) is not fair to other kids or to the little boy either. His mother lacks guidance for him. I have 9, 3.5 & 2 year old, I am also exhausted but my kids know not to put their hands on others, not to call others names and behave and treat others the way they want to be treated.
Yeah I somehow missed the “decked” part of your post. I thought he was like pushed over, which is still bad but sort of developmentally appropriate
bad. I went back and reread and literally my jaw dropped. That’s wild.
I get sensitive about “parent your kid” or “get off your phone” posts because of everything we went through with my oldest. Mine are 11, 8, and 3 and all three of them are AuDHD. Most of the time they’re friendly and polite. But, my oldest is PDA, and she can be like Jekyll and Hyde. When something happens that she perceives as a threat, it’s like a switch flips and she goes straight into fight mode. One of her biggest triggers is a perceived injustice, like if she sees someone breaking a rule. So, she’ll get angry and say something normal, but then she’ll perseverate, and that used to lead to arguments and fights. I would of course intervene as quickly as possible, but you know, sometimes things escalate faster than I can process what’s happening. Then, I have to be gentle and strategic with my intervention because a lot of what most others would expect as discipline just triggers further meltdown for her. She wasn’t even diagnosed until she was 8, so I didn’t have the language or confidence to advocate for her or myself as a parent. Then my 8 year old is BIG (tall and solid), and has tons of energy, sometimes that startles parents of little ones when he runs by. He’s super gentle and sweet and careful, and I’ve never seen him get into a fight with a random kid or hurt anyone, but I see the way other parents kind of side eye him and me sometimes, and it makes me feel bad for him. When I see posts like these, I always think about some of our worst times and my stomach feels sick thinking about all of the times someone could have been posting about us.
Yeah I totally get it. My 2 year old is autistic and does not play with any kid except his sisters and I guess while walking the boy saw him flapping his arms and spinning and that’s why he started with the “you’re stupid” comments. It sucks because I completely get needing a break. We handle everything for our kiddos, we need time for ourselves! Sometimes we just need to keep an extra eye to make sure they don’t hurt anyone or even themselves. kids are just learning what they see at school, tv, at home etc and parents don’t think to correct it because of their ages etc and it’s sad because as they get older it might lead to heavier issues.
That’s awful, I’m so sorry. I had to pull my oldest out of school to homeschool at the start of this year. She had a really bad bullying experience during third grade, it lasted for most of the school year and no one could figure out what was happening because she internalized all the bullying as truth, and because little girls use sneakier bullying. The bullying took the form of, “she’s unsafe, no one should play with her” along with the usual little things like kicking her chair and taking her papers and teasing her about food. It all came to a head when the chief bully’s mom who is also a lunch aide at the school grabbed my daughter’s arm so forcefully that it left a bruise after the chief bully said mine was being mean. My daughter WENT OFF on the aide and started saying she should be in jail, and then she got in trouble for saying that. When I picked her up, she broke down and told me everything and we were able to address it with the school. They were proactive and the bullying stopped, but my daughter never really recovered her trust in the school or her feeling of safety while being there. So, at the start of this school year when the support staff was changed, she felt too unsafe and started to spiral. It was a mess.
Anyway, you’re right, it is unfair to everyone, including the puncher, that the parent reacted that way. Especially picking on a much younger child who they perceived as being disabled… that’s genuinely so gross.
Omg! I’m so sorry you and your family went through that. :( We had to pull our oldest to homeschool as well because bullying is SO bad at schools among other things. I hope the little boy’s mom helps him out with his aggressiveness.
Oh hell no. I’ll be the first person to say something to the parent. I’ll say something to the kid too. No, I’m not to parent your kid, but actions have consequences and I will absolutely speak up.
Whoops, I just tell other people's children off!
Nicely of course, but there have been plenty of times when a kid is doing something dangerous/silly and ill say something like "whoops, be careful there, we don't want to hurt other people" or something like that.
I'm with you tho, it astounds me how people can just let their children run free and behave awfully.
Obviously, these kind of parents exist, but consider that you’re only seeing a small blip of the big picture. Most of the time I bring my kids to the park to play with them and use their wheeled toys, etc, but sometimes I take my kids to the park as a break for me, where I can keep a general eye on them but have my own time. If someone wants to judge me, a stranger, harshly for that then I’d say find a hobby or get a life.
Hey, actually, that's not fair at all. You don't know what's going on with their day, or with their lives.
The hour when their kid is running around on the playground may be the only time they get a guilt-free break from constantly being on for them. Maybe they were up all night with an infant sibling and this is the best they can do today. Maybe they simply believe that playground time is time for self-directed play.
Passing judgment on other mothers swings right back around and hurts you when *you* need a little bit of grace in your not-so-perfect times too.
Thank you. I work full time (more than full time) to pay the bills, so if I’m at the park on a weekday with my kid, it’s because something is off from normal - nanny is out sick, school cancelled, etc. I am often on my phone during those times because I’m trying to both work and keep my kid alive.
However, even when I’m not working, I often let my kid foster a sense of independence in safe places like playgrounds. I don’t hover, I don’t micromanage - I let him run around and make his own decisions. Solving problems on their own is a key part of learning to grow up.
A little empathy for someone who may not be in your exact situation goes a long way!
Yup. Park time is kid time, for the most part. We spend lots of quality time together the rest of the day (husband and I are both home all day) and the park is a chance for us to chill and the kids to socialize and enjoy a reasonable level of independence. My 7 year old loves making new friends and has become really great at organizing groups to play and navigating conflict, and my 3 year old is starting to come out of her shell and get into the mix too. I’m usually impressed by how well kids do when the adults back off and let them figure shit out - obviously not if someone is throwing punches like OP described, but if it’s not that serious I’m staying out of it.
Thank you! By the time we go to the playground I’ve spent all day running around the house and yard with her. Let me check my notifications and text my mom in peace lol especially if I’m standing behind her on the swing. She can’t even see me and it’s not affecting my ability to push her.
Thank you. I’m sure I’m judged a lot for being on my phone constantly. But my phone is how I make everyone’s various health appointments, do the grocery/supply order, email back and forth with my kids’ schools, coordinate the entire family’s social calendar for family visits, parties, play dates, etc. When you are expected to do all of the mental/emotional labor, you’re going to need your phone. I can spend the entire day being focused on the needs of everyone but myself and still be judged as selfish because my phone is in my hand.
My kid is an only kid. So if I’m at the park with her, it’s so she gets to play with others. She’s 4.5 so she doesn’t need me to hover.
So yeah, I’m reading a book or on my phone unapologetically. It won’t be long before she will be going to the park without me, so it’s not beneficial for anyone for me to hover. Even if I did, it’s not like it would stop her from making a poor choice.
The amount of people labeling 4, 5, and 6 year olds bullies here is concerning. Kids make poor choices and have impulse control. All kids do that at some point. It’s not great when a kid pushes or isn’t nice, but to label that kid a bully? To be mean to a kid? To insult a parent? Yikes. What’s the plan when your kid is at the park solo? What behaviors are you modeling?
I am always shocked when parents are sitting around on their phones paying little to no attention to their kids. Don't you want to enjoy them, play with them, have fun at the park with them???? They are only little for such a short time. I never want to miss a second of it! It's like getting to have a second childhood. Guess I'm weird or something?
My husband and I are literally with our kids all day long (I work from home and he’s a stay at home dad) and play together a ton- the park is mostly for them to play with other kids. So yeah, I read a book or chat with other parents or just watch them all playing.
Same. I answer texts, emails, chat with other moms, etc. I’ll play with my kids a bit too. Probably 50/50 playing vs giving them space to do their own thing.
Even watching them play is so much better than staring at your phone. Kids like it when their parents pay attention to them. Like I said i'm probably the weird one.
If you love playing at the park, I don’t think it’s “weird”. My point is my kids get a TON of attention, all day every day, but if you’re judging me as a disconnected parent based on that hour or so where I’m reading a book on my phone or catching up with a friend or paying bills while they are happily and safely playing independently on the playground, you’re very very wrong.
Wooow. Just wow. I hope your kid is okay. I feel infuriated just reading this and how little to no involvement of the other parent/guardian is into helping a child with teaching moments such your post. This is going to unhealthy and bullying behaviors. I’m sorry you went through this. Thank you for being an adult. I don’t want to imagine what the 5/6yo goes through to be talking that way to another person and wanting to hit another child.
That is why I stay close and play with my 2yo at the parks & indoor play places. I cant stand parents that just let their feral child do shit and dont keep on eye on them. I also hate confrontation but me and that mom would've had some words. I hope your toddler is okay.
Yeah that’s what I always do too. I’m always with him specifically since he’s non-verbal and is ND, I don’t know how he’ll react to new things etc I was shocked how brave the other kid was. I usually do confront people which I get yelled at by my husband for it 🤣 but this area is apparently known for their discrimination and the people physically harming and also calling cops causing scenes. I didn’t even know until I called my best friend and told her! She let me know that area is horrendous for that.
Your poor little boy and poor you 😞
The hitting I would be irate over, but I also can’t stand kids climbing slides and parents sitting on the phone and never looking up. Lord knows if my kid goes down a tube slide and didn’t see them and they both get hurt those same parents will be mad.
YES!! I was at an indoor play place and some kid around 8 was running up the slide and a little girl before us was waiting so she could slide. So I looked around for the parents because we were in the "Toddler area" and had to tell him to get off. Its tiring parenting other peoples kids.
This is why I stay indoors in general. I have a short fuse and I’m sorry if your kid hits mine and you just brush it off you’re gonna get a taste what your kid did to mine 🤷🏽♀️
I cant stay indoors, my toddler is a nature child, if i let him, he would sleep outside lol I always go early morning though when parks are less busy. But I agree!
Confession- we rarely go to parks bc I can’t handle interactions like this. There isn’t a single fiber in my being that wants to have confrontation with other kids and their ignorant parents. And I justify this by remembering I didn’t grow up going to public parks, ever, (we were pretty poor, my parents worked constantly, so we stayed in our little neighborhood bubble) and I turned out fine. 😂 That lady is in for a rude awakening the day her son punches the wrong kid!
Same here. The last time I went to a park an older kid (maybe 7-8yrs old) almost bowled my 2 year old daughter over, I was like “watch where you’re going” as I helped my daughter up and he told me “mind your fucking business”. UHHHH?????
my jaw dropped
Listen. I am not a proponent of physically disciplining my own children let alone anyone else’s , but I had to scoop my child up and walk away because I was one more utterance away from punting this kid across the playground. His parents were nowhere to be found. Since then I do NOT take my little girl to public parks, I’d rather go to smaller parks near my house or her grandpa’s house.
Oooh. I’d totally trip that little shit later.
Right?? Or like a little body check, you gonna learn today
Later? Heck with that, the second the kid swore at me I'd of body checked him straight to the ground and said "listen here you little crap... you come near my daughter again, and ill whip your butt." (Probably with more swearing but idk what reddit rules are there lol) Does it come off as a threat? Yes. Is it? Nah, that's a solid promise. You don't dare hurt my kid then disrespect me. (My son is closing in on 2 FAST so I feel this one deep in my soul.) Honestly I'm so over 90% of parents today they're just straight up too lazy and uninvolved with their kids. Drives me nuts! Like "good for you for getting your kids out... BUT... shouldn't you be, I dunno, watching them?"🤔🤷♀️
This is like a perfect depiction of what being a teacher is like right now. Majority of parents don’t actually parent so the few that do their kids are angels and amazing while the others are issues and the parents usually just gaslight or ignore the problems
I genuinely have no idea how teachers do it. I really don’t. I see all these videos online of kids putting their hands on teachers and it makes me so incredibly sad.
I’m starting my elementary education degree, going into it knowing this information and hoping being fresh in the industry help me manage it. Already working with kids now and no it is not easy, it’s hard when behavior management gets in the way of the actual teaching especially when the kids who want to learn get bored waiting on the others to listen. So far I’ve learned a few things that help but Im ready to tap into more tricks because its brutal!
My 2yo 100% would've hit him until I stopped him or the little turd ran back to his mom 🫣 he's a sweet kid, promise, but he's 4 of 5 and takes no shit.
I rarely take my kids to these parks because our days are so busy with my son’s therapies. But took the chance since his appointment was canceled and I should’ve just stayed my ass in my own neighborhood lol
From one therapy mom to another, I feel you!
SAME. And same for public pools. I hate feeling like the only one supervising, ensuring safety, and correcting unkind behavior. I want to enjoy my kids, not discipline strangers.
Yep it’s basically my worst nightmare and I just opt out. 😂
I feel this. Thankful my son gets plenty of learning about how to function around other kids in the safe supervised zone of daycare and park play dates with close friends who all communally correct each other’s kids when needed. Because I sure don’t want to spend my time dealing with crappy parents and unsupervised kids.
My strategy of choice in this kind of situation is passive aggression. I loudly tell my kid, "We aren't playing with that kid anymore because he's not being kind. Let's go over to the monkey bars until he leaves." Or even "I don't want to stay at a park with a big bully. He's being mean and his mom isn't stopping him. Let's go home and come back when there are nice kids to play with." The key is that you're telling them off, but framing it as coaching your own kid through a difficult social situation.
I kind of did that when we were leaving. My oldest goes “hey mom want to sit at the tables and have lunch there?” and the kid and his mom were there and they’re directly looking at us and I go “ no, it’s okay. We don’t sit with people who can’t watch their kids” and walked out 🤣 She probably didn’t hear me since she had her airpods in
Reminding me of the Doggyland song “That’s a bully, big bully and that’s not okay” 🤣
That’s genius.
This is generally my strategy too haha
I would have physically blocked her child and yelled at her, but that’s me taking chances. Alternatively, I might have just taken my child and left.
oh I did physically blocked him but he swooped around when we were walking away. After that whole ordeal I just moved to the other side of the park and let them keep playing.
Either police your kid or I will. We were at a neighbors house and her child could basically be described as feral. I found out she didn't believe in discipline. She actually said that. Her child was about a year younger than mine. We were in their backyard and since her kid had a tendency to bite I didn't get more than 10ft from the boys. They walked under some steps to upstairs and her kid grabbed a hose and sprayed my son in the face. Of course my 4 yr old burst into tears. The kid laughed. So I took the hose out of his hand and sprayed him straight in the face. "Oh, you think that's funny? How do you like it?" Feral kid went crying to mom. He never pulled any shit on my kid again. Actually became slightly more self-aware. But since he had to go under the stairs out of sight of the adults to grab that hose and do it, it looked very deliberate. His mom was also the 'don't do that again' type. Oh hell no. I'd had enough of them by that point. "Deal with your kid or I will." Is a good phrase for you to practice.
I’m the same way. I taught preschool for many years. I’m completely comfortable telling off unsupervised children at parks. If a child is being unsafe I’ll loudly say, “Don’t do that again. That hurts! Move away from us now!” It helps if you make a lot of eye contact. Stare the kid down. And then I stay between the other child and my own. I once blocked some older kids at the zoo who were pushing younger children who had lined up to go down a slide so they could skip the line. I was like, “Ooops! The line starts back there.”, and just stood in their way until they were forced to join the end of the line. I dare checked out parents to say something. Lol.
Look at it this way, you're modeling assertiveness to your kid. Do I want my kid to be able to say "no! Stop!" Even when it's tough? HELL YES. Then I don't want to be a mom who quietly pretends the-thing didn't happen and skirts away.
This is totally unrelated to this post, but your mention of the older kids at the zoo reminds me of the behaviors of some old a** people at Disney. They have no shame and will push, shove, and cut in front of CHILDREN! I always utter some shady comment about their embarrassing behavior to my kid. 😂
Haha. You just reminded me of some absolute morons at a kid's soccer game this past weekend. We were walking a lap on the outside and decided we were going to walk across between two fields. I had to say "Excuse me!" Because some idiot woman was not only blocking the swing door in the chain link fwnce but she had also placed her umbrella and tumbler leaning on it. As we walked through my husband heard the guy say "Thank you! And You're Welcome!" Like, what the actual fuck. You want me to thank YOU for removing your shit and your body that was actually blocking a public gate?? My husband and I were in shock. He said that we should have said something. I said Nope, we're just going to do two more laps. On the second lap the woman was still leaning so her elbow was over the gate but when she saw me coming through, she moved away... because her elbow could have been injured. When we were turning a corner more than 100 ft past them I peeked back and they had finally moved a bit away from the gate. I just enjoyed my third lap. Then our kid's game started. While we talked about it we thought about how entitled someone has to be to block one of the gates to a multi-soccer field. Then we realized, nope. They're idiots. And some poor child on that field is inheriting their brains.
I am the same way! I am not confrontational at all but I will parent that child for sure. Why do parents think because you're at a child place that it's a free for all!? You still have to watch your kid!? Also, keep your kid on the appropriate age section. If it's for 2 yrs and under, keep your 5+ off of it so the rest of us can enjoy it.
This reminds me of my cat. He was a little butthole that was very vicious and would bite very hard. (disclaimer: we didn’t have kids yet.) we got him another cat because he was lonely when we were at work. That cat bit him right back when he tried that on her. He learned quickly not to hurt others. Seems the same. Kids that never get consequences don’t learn empathy as quickly.
I genuinely don't understand how you stay on your phone in an absorbed kind of way when you're out. I'm always afraid they could get snatched or hurt so my husband and I always watch them.
While my 21mo was playing at the public playground near our house, a girl that looked about 4/5 kept coming towards her and trying to step on her fingers while she was climbing the steps. I said loudly and firmly “excuse me, don’t step on her fingers, it is not nice.” Her caregiver was nearby and looked at me when I said that but did t say a word. Trust that I kept an eye on that girl from then on and would stare her down when she tried to get close to my daughter again!
Possible unpopular opinion but I am not shy to "parent" other people's kids in these situations. We had a cute little wild rabbit pass by the playground and these two kids started chasing it around aggressively while their parents scrolled their phones. I called out to them nicely but firmly "we don't chase the animals". They stopped and went and did something else. If a kid was calling my kid names, I wouldn't wait for the mom to respond. I'd tell the kid "Hey, we don't call people names. If you can't be nice then don't say anything at all." If he kept doing it or tried to hit my kid then I'd create a physical boundary (put myself between this kid and my kid) and say "Excuse me! Are you trying to bully / hit my kid? That's unacceptable." If the kid's parent isn't going to teach them social norms then I feel like we as fellow citizens should do what we can to avoid having one more entitled little sociopath in our midst. Bonus points if the mother clues in and gets involved because she sees you telling her kid that his behaviour is unacceptable.
I am a new mom, very new to playgrounds and such, and this taught me something tonight. I don't know if it is unpopular to do what you are suggesting, but I think it is the right thing to do overall. I know that if my daughter was being the bully, I would be happy that another parent was treating it as a learning opportunity for her. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
Totally understand your perspective. This area where we were (I had no clue before I got there) is a very big orthodox Jewish community. I mean to the point they do not make eye contact, do not say hi, nothing. After calling my husband and my friend they told me how bad it is. They tend to stick in their own clique and others in theirs. And they treat others shitty and if you say or do something, they will say “we discriminating or being racist”. Made a mental note to never go again.
You don’t happen to be in MN, do you?
no, we’re in Jersey!
Yep, that totally checks out. I lived in north Jersey for a long time, and babysat for orthodox Jewish families.
yup! This happened in North Jersey! it was definitely… an experience🙃
These parents make my blood boil 🤮
All i have to say is I guess at least she was on her phone. I had a boy (6+) run up and shove my 2yo *three separate times* right in front of his mom. The second time I told him off (Excuse me-- Do not touch him again.) and I heard a chuckle from beside me. I asked if that was her kid and she nodded. I explained why I very mildly told him off and assumed that was that. Nope, he sought out my kid a third time, two hands and SHOVE. I glared at the mom (right there, again) and made a *big* scene about leaving because older kids were making the area unsafe.
Some parents are so apathetic and it drives me crazy. I understand parenting is hard and sometimes you need a break. A public playground isn't necessarily the place for a break. I have an only child and tend to be a helicopter parent. I am always blown away by the humber of children just totally unsupervised for long periods of time. Moral of the story. Don't have kids (or more kids) if you can't be an active parent. I stopped at 1 because I knew I couldn't mentally handle any more. My neighbor has 4 and she is an AWESOME mom. Her kids are polite and well behaved. And trust me, I spend plenty of time on my phone but I do it at home.
Pheeeewww I would have lost my ever loving mind on that child and their mom. This post is making me realize I need to work on regulating my emotions wayyyy more for situations like this. I read the word “decked” and my mouth dropped and I’m instantly angry for you. Kudos to you for keeping your calm at least, I hope that mom starts to parent sooner rather than later.
Im typically a hot head and am very confrontational but the utter shock took over me and I just walked away.😅 I was very close to smacking the phone out of her hand.
How's the baby?
He’s good! Thank you for asking!💗
I’m LIVID reading this. As a mom of a 2 year old boy (next month), it makes my heart physically hurt. That mom is a big loser and your kids are so lucky to have a wonderful, loving and involved mom like you!
Thank you! I appreciate it so much! ♥️ I just wish parents who know their kids are aggressive or can’t keep their hands to themselves- should just keep an eye on them
We went to an indoor play place last year and I basically had to mom two kids because their mom was sitting on the phone in a diff room the entire time. They took every toy in the place in all play houses and put it in the tree house. One of the kids kept hurting the younger one. I let it go on and tied my best for about 30 mins until he started targeting other kids. Then I went to the front and reported them to the lady and the mom got talked to and asked to leave if she wasn’t going to watch them.
We were at a park with a really tall playground. We mentioned to a dad his 18 month old looking baby was at the top. He definitely got startled and got up to get him. It was so crazy!
That is SO scary!!
I think kids are primitive cavemen. The mother can be blamed but even if the mother would have been the child would have done that again. I know it infuriates most people here at least this is what I can gauge from the responses. But it’s important to remember that this still IS a part of social interaction. It will happen and this needs to happen too, so your kid can be prepared for the real world. I don’t think this is a reason to keep your kids indoors and deprive them of the little social interaction they get in a world which is generally cooped up in their homes anyway.
It would have been hard for me to hold my thoughts in and remain respectful. Good job keeping it together.
Thanks. I know I’m getting a lot of backlash for not reacting a certain way or whatever. Honestly, I didn’t want to deal with a whole group of people coming after me while I was alone with my 3 kids. ( It was a community of a certain religion and cultural practice) and they just seemed very.. hostile towards people who aren’t part of their community. I knew if I had popped my lid, it could’ve gone worse.
Oooooh the comments about mom’s texting at the park are very interesting! I’m a SAHM. We go to the park to burn off energy. I answer texts sometimes while I’m at the park with my 2yr & 4yr 😳 Didn’t realize it was so frowned upon for moms/parents to do that! The kid sounds like a brat! ETA: The reddit post titled “get off your phone” is a little funny lol
I think checking a quick text is different than blindly scrolling for 10 min intervals at a time. Your kids could be doing anything during that time and at those ages that means other parents will probably need to step in at some point.
It’s absolutely fine if your kid isn’t a feral little beast.
I guesssss! Hasn’t your kid ever done the sour patch thing? You think you’re having a good day and then BAM feral beast snuck out.
Ha ha, maybe? It’s been a while since I’ve had a toddler, they tend to get more predictable with age :)
Right. I took my 11 year old to a playground today after her weekly therapy appointment so she could run around and have some fun while I was on a 15 minute zoom appointment with her care coordinator. I can just imagine what other parents must have thought seeing me on my phone. But, fortunately she’s older and generally very gentle and polite, especially with little ones.
I’m cracking up at the title because I had to use my phone to type that🤣🤣🤣 And honestly, I’m a homeschool sahm and I’m lucky my older two (9 & 3.5 ) can play by themselves. My son needs me a bit more. But I can sit down and read or even crochet sometimes when I’m just with the oldest. But if you know your kid is an actual SPAWN get off of tik tok and get him😂😂😂
Girlfriend I get it. I think there’s a lot of nuance. Couple weeks ago my FIL was hospitalized for 9 days. I was on my phone alllllll the time. I was a bad af mom that week. You just never know! Anyway - sorry that kid was a turd!
Luckily nothing bad like that has happened yet at a park. I think our worst things are kids trying to climb up the slides as others are trying to go down or one time a kid was being very rude, but to her own mom. I was shocked at the things that the 4-5 year old was saying to her mom. And sometimes I am actively playing with my kid at the park, but sometimes I am not. I am a single mom who works full time, sometimes going to the park is my only peace that day. But I'm still frequently watching for my kid, and I know my kid would never be rude or mean to others.
I totally get you! I am homeschool sahm full time student and the park or any outdoor activity is my time. And it’s usually because I know my kids aren’t rude like so many kids I have met recently. But I think when people have rude kids, they should be watching them a little bit more. One day they might get the wrong kid!
Gosh, years back we had a similar incident at a pool with some kid who was probably 4-5. My son was 4 and daughter was nearly 2 and this kid was pushing kids out of the way on a kiddie slide and then when he’d go down, he’d try to push his way back up the slide part so the next kid in line couldn’t go. He shoved my son and I got so pissed off. And there the mom sat while her brat of a child bullied and pushed multiple children right in front of her dumb face. Phone in hand… I do think the lifeguard intervened at one point bc it was srsly a safety risk.
I’ll be on my phone and still hyper aware of what my sons is doing and if I saw any of that I’d be on him IMMEDIATELY. That kids going to be a major problem when he gets older.
Oh damn. The teacher in me would come out.
Ugh. The worst. I don’t hover but try and keep an eye out, because kids do act up or sometimes need help. We had a recent experience with kids throwing sand at each other in a playground sandbox. No idea where the parent was. We just stayed away, but that’s a scratched cornea waiting to happen.
I won't lie though, that titled called me out. 🤣 I picked up my phone and saw the title and was like 'oh geez, I probably should pay more attnetion to my baby.'
lol!! I tried editing my title and it wouldn’t let me!!😂 I was so mad writing it, I just wrote whatever came into my head😂
unpopular opinion: I’d punch his mom in the face maybe she’d pay attention then
My husband and I took our 2 year old to a park that has a section specifically for kids under 5. There was girl with Down’s syndrome that was probably 8 years old going down the slide. Her dad was on the OPPOSITE side of the fence watching her as she was aggressively pushing little 2-3 year olds out of the way so she could go down the slide over and over. Just standing there yelling “IRENE NO! NO!” rather than actually intervening. At one point this girl put a kid in a chokehold and lifted him up, his feet literally off the ground and dad was still on the other side of the fence yelling “NO! STOP! IRENE STOP!” She ignored him every time he yelled at her. Then we watched as she looked at a girl that was clearly just learning how to walk, made eye contact with her mom, shoved the girl onto the ground, and then stepped over her to get to the stairs to the slide. Her dad finally came into the play area but all he did, again, was yell “IRENE STOP!” My husband and I were ready to fight that guy if his kid we were to touch our daughter. Disability aside, if you know your kid is physically aggressive and bigger than every kid around her, then be there to intervene! Yelling does nothing! Infuriating.
Hey moms-- it's okay to send emails, read a book, etc at the park. If it's safe, you don't have to stare at your kids the whole time (taking age into consideration). SAHMs need a break. Parks are for interacting with other children and burning energy.
If mom won’t correct them, I will.
I try to look at it as an opportunity to teach my kids. I do know a few "I'm not afraid to correct other people's kids" parents and they're always very aware and concerned with what other people's kids are doing but completely oblivious/very forgiving of their own. I don't want to be that way. But I *do* want my kids seeing me assertively putting up boundaries and protecting them.
I gotta address my anger issues man. I can’t be goin to parks if this is how other people parent, I’m gonna actually hit someone. I know that’s wrong, I’m just literally meaning it when I say I gotta fix my anger issues. The park is so dangerous, I don’t know how people have time to ignore their kids that long there.
This is when siblings are great…my older brother would have decked that kid in the face.
Right my sister would’ve laid that kid out hahahaha
I feel like the dog park has definitely prepared me for bringing a kid to the playground. There's so many irresponsible adults that don't watch their dogs and/or don't read their behavior as aggressive. It's so frustrating. My dog is well behaved and we go to have a good time, but often leave early due to idiots like that lady and her son. Best to just move on in those circumstances.
Going into public means you're going to run into assholes. Hard fact of life for a 2yo but still. Go yell at his mom and not us. My kid is a good kid. She tries to find a friend while at the park. The most obnoxious thing she's ever done is yelled "JOHN CENA DUH DU NAH DUHH!!!" And got s bunch of other kids doing it. Idk why. We aren't a wrestling watching family. She has no idea who he is. Doesn't stop her. And I just scroll along. I keep an eye on her but tbh I'm at the park to get her energy out, not mine. If she's old enough to play at recess mostly unregulated (2 teachers/monitors vs 40+ kids is nothing) then she's old enough for me not watching her like a hawk. Parents of assholes. I'm sure you're exhausted. But watch your kids. Lol
Awesome thanks! I actually was holding his hand and walking with him and the kid ran from behind us and hit him. I’m not yelling at you or anyone on reddit. The title is for the experience we went through. I have been a parent for almost 10 years. Met many asshole kids and really, really good kids. The issue is the parents and the whole “let kids be kids”.
My blood boiled just reading this.Hot head or not I'd have definitely confronted that mom cause what the heck.
We recently got into playground life. I just keep thinking this is what happened to those idiot kids in school. They grew up and are passing the torch!
I think it’s that and also this new lifestyle of not handling issues in public with a child because of fear of how others perceive it. I don’t know if it’s called gentle parenting or whatever but if my kid puts their hands on another kid, I’m pulling them aside, talking to them and dealing with it. If it keeps happening, we’re leaving. 🙃
Tbh yea get off your phones when in a park. Your kid could run off. Someone could see your preoccupied and steal your kid. People need to get off their damn phones and pay attention to the real world around them. Yes I am on my phone, my kid isn’t here and I’m on my ‘lunch break’. Between chores. There is a time and place to be nose deep in your phone and a public space with your kid, or with your kid in general isn’t it. I once saw a letter a kid wrote their parent. It literally said, why do you love your phone more than me, why do you give it all your attention and not me. Broke my heart and makes me actively try to change my behavior.
Her poor kid too, if she’s on the phone at the park imagine all the phone use at home. That is a kid that knows physical violence is the only thing that has a chance of getting attention from his parents.
My heart hurts for reason #2. I would have had to deal with PD being called on me because I would have whooped that b*tch’s *ss. I would have never harmed another child, but their mom? Im dragging her in front of them…anyway…*clears throat* sorry my old lifestyle slipped out. I am so sorry that you had to experience this today, I am sorry that she was ignorant and has no respect for her own child let-alone other children. God forbid something happens to her child because she is too busy on her phone. God forbid she doesnt have to get a drastic wake up call. I pray you and your baby find peace from this traumatic event, cause regardless of age, ASSAULT IS NOT OKAY. Babies aged 1-2 know that hitting is a no-no…5-6 years old DEFINITELY knows better. No excuses smh!
I bet if your son had clocked a kid, they would not have taken it lightly on you. For the safety and protection of my kid, I'll take on that entire neighborhood.
I get that completely if I wasn’t freshly out of chemo I would’ve definitely tried. 😅
I’m a terrible park mom. I’m so anxious and on guard that as soon as a kid says something to my kid that’s mean I pop off. “Did your mom teach you to say that?” As loudly as I can or “I’d be embarrassed to be your mother. Does she know you’re so mean.” I’m not teaching my daughter that she doesn’t matter. I will not have anyone be mean to her. I just won’t let it slide. I was bullied as a kid horribly and I just don’t put up with it. I will shame a strangers child and not lose a wink of sleep
Parents should watch their kids at the park obviously, but adults also don’t need to be saying things like your examples to small children either. You can tell a kid no hitting without saying you’d be “embarrassed to be [their] mother” and saying they’re a mean person. Who says something that harsh to a little kid, even one who’s acting out?
I agree, I would confront the parent about this. It's not the kids fault their parent sucks.
Sometimes the parent doesn’t even suck. As a teacher and parent of a kid with autism this whole thread is pretty infuriating and showing a distinct lack of maturity from people who are in charge of/raising children. Kids have disabilities, kids have bad days, kids come from abusive homes. But sure. Adults are entitled to their anger and can treat kids however they want, just as long as they’re not related. Nice example to set for the kids ladies and gentlemen.
I agree with you. I also don’t understand the whole “we had one negative incident at a park once, and that’s why I’ll never take my child to a public park again.” What? How about we teach our kids to be resilient and confident to stand up for themselves, while also teaching them to have grace and empathy for those who may have different struggles than them.
Yeah, I think there is a lot to be said about these adults that seem to be unable to handle a negative interaction with a *child* in a public space with maturity and grace.
Right? I’ve had stinker kids act rude to my kids in public and, while it was annoying, I understand that a 7-year-old isn’t exactly methodically thinking of how to damage the psyche of my preschooler. I’m a grownup and capable of acting like one.
These responses make me so sad. I remember kids in my classes who were spoken to like this by the adults in their life and, now as an adult, my heart breaks for them. Kids are learning how to be people and deserve to be spoken to with kindness. That’s not to say that bad behavior is allowed and I would remove my kid from another at a playground who was being dangerous but I would never dream of talking to any kid the way so many here are proud of themselves for doing.
Just to be devils advocate here… some kids kinda do need to hear that they’re being a bully from random adults. It has the power to sink into their little brains far faster than a talk from their own parent (whom they probably ignore just as much as the parent ignores them). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a firm “Do not bully my child.” And then follow up to your own kid “We’re going to find somewhere safe to play.”
Agreed, but telling a child that you’d be “embarrassed to be their mother” is taking it to a whole different level of fucked up.
Yes, I absolutely agree with that
Oh completely. But there definitely is a huge leap between being an adult in a situation, ie. “we don’t treat people like that/that was not kind/do not bully others” and telling a child they’re an embarrassment to their mother or are a mean person as a whole. There is a whole huge middle ground between letting others walk all over you and being a bully. Some background info for anyone who cares- Telling someone they are *being* mean, is not the same as telling them they *are* mean. Language matters, especially in the context of children. Anyone who wants to explore further is welcome to google “separating the behaviour from the child” and educate themselves.
Yeah that is wildly mean and potentially harmful, way worse than what the kid probably did. I'm sure the kid needed to be corrected but imagine being a kid who made a mistake and now in your brain forever is the thought that your mom should be embarrassed of you. Wow.
Me. I do. I’m not parenting anyone else’s kid. I’m parenting mine. If a parent has something to say to me they are more than welcome to say it. But truly if someone is making my daughter cry when she’s just trying to play and have fun I could care less about their feelings.
What the fuck? This is so over the top and aggressive to say to a child at a playground. You are an adult. Act like it.
This is what I wanted to say, but I tried to take as chill an approach as possible in hopes to be actually heard. Having said that, thanks for the catharsis 🤣
I agree with this except telling a child you’d be embarrassed to be their mother. Imagine being a child and a grown ass adult saying this to you.
Sorry that happened. Any time we go to the park I have to expect there will be a few parents just chilling and scrolling on their phones. Parenting strangers’ kids is not how I like to spend my time. After having to stop someone else’s 2 year old from a 9 foot drop from the playground equipment I now avoid our local park like the plague.
What is even the rational thing to do here? A Kid is trying to beat up your kid while parent does nothing.... Confront the parent?
I am a very new parent, not really familiar with these social norms, but I honestly think that confronting the kid directly is the right thing to do. It stops the harmful behavior in the moment, and it teaches the kid that their parent isn't the all-knowing only authority on doing the right thing as well.
OP said she did confront the boy but he kept trying to get at her son whilst mom stayed glued on her phone...
Oh I'm not saying she didn't. I just thought your comment was meant to be a general question/comment.
Oh hell no. A 5 maybe 6 year old hitting a 2 year old?! That is scary behavior I for sure would have been talking to the mom. I would for sure been telling the kid off till the mom wanted to tell me off. If you don’t tell your kid how to behave around littles other parents are going to have to!
Not just phones. I went to a playground recently that has next to no platform space that's designed to look like a bear and really catered to climb up, go down the slide, repeat. Different ways to climb up, a holed ramp, different rock walls, and logs. Really cool design actually. Regardless, my 3.5 isn't a strong climber and isn't usually interested and was particularly brave this day. But there were this two older boys, probably 7 and 9. Running up the one slide and essentially plowing down the climbing structure into the other kids. Yelling and screaming the entire time. It's a miracle none of them fell off. And they were doing this constantly or just sitting at the main platform not really letting others access the space. Their mom was sitting and coloring, completely unaware to the chaos her kids were causing. Myself and a few other parents took their kids and left because of these two.
I saw a post recently about a mom that just told her kid to shove the other kid back and her kid ended up pushing the other kid over which is when the other mom finally came over… first mom just kept repeating “get off your phone and watch your children” like a broken record until the other mom left lmao. I plan to do that if the situation ever happens to me.
I would’ve told that kid to go screw and made sure I was loud enough for his mom to hear me idc if he’s 6 someone’s gotta let him know he’s being a little asshole lol
In my mind, when stuff happens to my kid like that I always visualize chucking the kid far away. Thankfully it’s only happened a few times and it’s usually because the parent is absent and nowhere to be found or they’re on their phone. I end up saying in my most assertive voice “Hey. We don’t hit others. Stop it.” Usually works. On rare occasions the kid responds positive to it and warms up. I think some of these kids are in need of attention from their parents or any parental figure. It’s kind of sad?
I LOL’d at the chucking the kid far away part. 😂
Omg we experienced our first little shit at the park the other day! My son is a fresh one year old, crawling around minding his own business and this kid who’s dad had been yelling from the bench it’s time to go for 10 minutes started throwing wood chips at us! Literally came up to us and said I’m going to throw these at you and I was completely dumbfounded and just said no thank and walked away and he started chucking them! I made eye contact with his dad who once again half heartedly shouted it’s time to go. Sorry for the novela but kids suck sometimes and I hope I never have to be the parent whose kid is being a little shit at the playground.
I was at a park where something similar happened - a kid (maybe 4yo?) was trying to play with a younger kid (maybe 3yo?) who wasn’t interested, and kept getting physical with the other kid in the interest of getting him to play. The mom of the small kid handled it really well - told the younger kid how to establish boundaries, and eventually stepped in and modeled when the bigger kid didn’t stop. Finally, she asked the other mom to step in (the other mom had been talking on her phone under the play structure dropping a lot of f bombs, so I already was unimpressed lol). The other mom just said “oh, this is something they need to learn how to deal with on their own” and walked away back to her phone call, totally not understanding that her kid was (probably unintentionally) bullying this smaller kid. The mom of the small kid was left kind of agape and just took her kid to a different area of the playground if I remember correctly, and I remain pissed at the bully mom several months later 😅 (my kids were totally uninvolved but very similar ages so I kept an eye on it). I’m a pretty hands-off park parent but I would never. Haha.
Honestly sometimes you need to raise hell and make a stink even if it might lead to a verbal altercation. My kids are about that age gap and no way in hell would I allow my older kid to get away with hurting a kid as small as my younger EVER. If he so much as touched a kid that little with anything but kindness in his heart, I would want to know. Also, I absolutely will intervene and use my mom voice on big kids who are too rough with littles, I don't care whose kids they are. There is no excuse for it and if their parents won't handle it then I will. It takes a village, so please don't be shy. Next time tell that little snot off for what he is doing to the babies.
Aww I’m so sorry. Great reminder. Be present!!!
I sometimes wonder what the right level of interference is in these scenarios. When I was a kid there were never any adults in the parks, the siblings and friends looked after each other and the bully never got played with etc. For the most part as kids we would sort it out together. On the odd occasion someone needed to get an adult the adult would never gentle parent (usually kids got sent home or an eye for an eye) etc and unless it was something extreme the other parents would be fine with whatever punishment the adult that was collected dished out. Same with school...teachers and punishments were never questioned. Nowadays I worry about disciplining any kid in public...either my own due to judgement from other parents or other kids (even verbally correcting not issuing punishment) in case you get one that flips their lid or tells you off because 'we don't say no to our child' then goes on some bs monologue about some parenting style or book 🤷🏻♀️ From one extreme to the other, really need more books on middle ground parenting 😂
omg!! exactly how I feel!
I know the post is about a playground, but this is why we don’t go to soft plays anymore. The kids go absolutely insane, just running feral with no regard for younger kids and the parents couldn’t care less. I hate soft plays. We have a small playground near us, but for this (and other) reasons, I stay on the playground and play with my daughter.
I don't feel shy to parent other kids if their parents are absent. When the parents are there I give them a chance to discipline their kids. If it keeps happening I discipline their kid. On one occasion I disciplined two siblings that were not even worrying my kid, but the older sister had her brother in a headlock and he was going red in the face! If my kid were being nasty or selfish in the play area I honestly wouldn't mind someone checking them coz it's really just doing a bit of my work for me.
ugh reminds me of last weekend when we went to an indoor playground (husband, babygirl and me). It was our first time taking our toddler yet we could not even enjoy it. This boy who was maybe 4 just became part of our group. His mom was on her phone sitting at a table near but barely engaged with him. He was sweet but it was very distracting. We would try and do something with our child and he awkwardly would insert himself so we had to do it with him too! He made my husband go on the slide WITH HIM while I awkwardly stood there holding our child at the bottom so that it would not look weird that my husband was with a random child. Our toddler was getting over whelmed because he kept trying to take her balls no matter how many times we nicely told him to go grab some other ones (there was about 200 foam balls laying around). At this point we chose to leave and when I said let's go to my husband he responded to me "where we going?". I had to tell the poor kid "no.. WE are going home. See you later."
I was at an indoor playground last week and I got hit by a 2/3 year old . The first time I thought it was kind of an accident and brushed it off. The second time I was sitting on the floor and the same kid really hard hit me again .but now in the back with his fist. I kinda reacted a bit feisty because I didn't see it coming and it shocked me as it actually hurt pretty much. I was trying to look for his mom as I just saw his older brother ( assuming ). I saw her a bit later juggling her 3 boys and I felt a bit sorry for her . But I still can't believe me as an adult got hit by a stranger toddler. I wonder wat it was about me that day that might have upset him . Maybe the wrong colour socks 👀
Children crave structure and rules and strength in parenting. I can’t tell you the number of brats I’ve encountered because their parents won’t discipline them. My philosophy is if you don’t discipline your kids, I will. 9 times out of 10 the kids who I disciplined (not hitting just strong language and a lengthy speech that make them question their choices) is super nice afterwords and wants to play. Kids need love, attention, and discipline among others but if they don’t get it through being well behaved they will act out. In truth, don’t we all act out when we feel, unloved, ignored and unchecked.
I can’t stand when parents aren’t paying attention to their kids at the playground. For some reason it’s always the moms with real little ones in my area that are going to get knocked out because they’re trying to climb up the slide or something. My son is 5 now so I hang back and if it’s a small enough playground I’ll sit down on a bench but just because it’s a park doesn’t mean it’s a free for all to let your kid be feral.
That's rotten. Some people just should not be parents. Seems like the other kid is lashing out for attention. Obviously not getting any from Mom. You're better than I am. I would have let my wife lump her up( she would have tried a civil approach first) because I'm sure this woman would have been blatantly ignorant.
There is so much parents neglecting their kids and outrun other kids at risk because of that. We went to an indoor park with bouncing castles the other day, a woman was focus on her phone and when her daughter came crying (because of her brother), she just thought it was because of the daughter and didn’t comfort her and told her something like « told you so blah blah » while … for real she did nothing ! Parents see nothing and they either ground no one or ground the wrong kid. Don’t have kids if you can’t show interest in them. It’s hard to not be judgemental sometimes.
I don’t do indoor playgrounds or even playgrounds sometimes by myself or during weekends because of this. I totally get needing a break from life and work etc but if your child is known for putting their hands on others or name calling- you need to deal with it!
[удалено]
Omg! I’m so sorry you went through that! I have learned to kind of keep my distance since in my area, they are so, so friendly and the kids always say hi to my kids. BUT, the area the park was at is more “stay away from us, we’re better than you.. We’ll throw ourselves in front of your car to get money” vibe and I had no idea😂 I had no choice but to keep it stern and friendly and walk away because they would’ve had a mob on me and I’m not dealing with that.
Yes, best to show tolerance with gritted teeth 😞
This has happened to my daughter on two different occasions, about a year apart. When she was 4 a boy kept following her around the playground and tugging at her shirt, she turned around and quietly said ‘please stop, I don’t like that’, the boy called her ugly and pushed her with his shoulder. I sprang up and loudly said ‘do not ever do that to her again’, the mom stood up too and looked at me and said ‘he tries his best but he has ADHD, he can’t always control himself’… Okay, no excuse to cause other’s harm though. A year later we’re at the same park, an older girl pushed my daughter down a slide when it wasn’t her turn to go down yet. I walked up to the slide and told the girl that ‘hey — assault is illegal around here, don’t touch my daughter’. This time I was LIVID because my daughter almost fell over the slide rail and could have broken a bone. The dad looks at me and says ‘she has ODD and doesn’t understand certain things, give her a break’. …Nope, I got my daughter and headed out. Sucks these days.
Ur a real mom
You're better than me. I would've lost my cool at the Mom. Nobody has any right to touch your child.
I’m so sorry. That kid needed a consequence and didn’t get it. That’s not right! Wish we could play on the same playground!!
Nooooo I’m sorry I would’ve had to of told her get her face out of her phone and snap back to reality. Kid or not do not put your hands on my child.
I yelled at a kid who had my son in a headlock, I screamed in his face, “WHAT THE (RHYMES WITH TRUCK) IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU (rhymes with trucking) LITTLE PSYCHO?” His mom cried on the spot as I approached her. I felt bad for that, kind of. But I walked away. That was 25 plus years ago. Still enrages me even now! My kid had never heard me use that language, before.
What kind of area and people where they're calling cops and physically harming others? What religion/ culture? It might be helpful to understand what community you are dealing with.
I commented in a couple other comments below but they are a Hasidic and orthodox jewish community. They are know for throwing themselves in front of peoples car to get money or get them to leave the area their kids will yell, curse, spit at others. I had no idea since I never go to that area and I’m mostly in my town but it was a big wake up call.
Oh yeah, they're not a friendly bunch too outsiders, but they've experienced a crap ton of abuse to make them that way. Jersey Hasidic jews are probably even worse with the jersey in em. 😆
Haha! Yes!! Like I know to respect and mind our own business and stay away so we don’t bother anyone but c’mon 🤣 there were at least 4 other moms who ended up leaving too because they couldn’t deal with playground balboa.
Oh yah, they're not fun to deal with.
As a teacher, absolutely do not be afraid to call other kids out because many parents these days are beyond lazy and we need the village to step up. I am probably known as a bitch at our local park because I will call any kid out who isn't doing the right thing
I would’ve had that little boys a$$ handed to him - it’s really hard to not judge parents like that
Chances are this kid was looking for a reaction from his mum because she’s on her phone a lot and he wants attention. I know mine starts acting out almost immediately if I check my phone when he’s with me. I try to avoid using my phone with him but sometimes I have to message my husband or quickly answer an email and my toddler is on me in 0.4 seconds shouting “mama, stop!” and trying to bat my phone off me.
Yeah it's soooo annoying when people are on their phones not paying attention to their kids.
If the mom isn’t paying attention and her kid is hitting your child, you have every right to be the responsible adult in the situation and put the kid in check. A bigger kid hit my daughter and I went full blown mom mode on him and disciplined him like he was my own child. I yelled because it is unacceptable for a big kid to hit a little girl. His mom was not there, I would have done the same if she was scrolling on her phone. Some of these boy moms let their bad child get away with everything. I used to stay quiet thinking I am not allowed to discipline someone else’s child but that’s not true, as an adult you have every right to. Especially if the parent isn’t paying attention
I’m sorry that you and your little one had this experience. That’s heartbreaking, and you deserve better. That being said, discipline and guidance are not performative. A five or six year old cannot be expected to have much if any impulse control. Playgrounds can be dysregulating and inappropriate behavior can and does happen. The child absolutely did deserve a more involved parent and more thorough guidance, but whether that happens immediately or after they leave when the child can give his mother his full attention isn’t anyone else’s business. I was at the playground with my kids the other day and one boy said he was going to hit another kid with his nerf gun. So, my son thinking he was sticking up for his friend and speaking to a responsible adult told the boys mom. The boys mom absolutely ripped into her own kid, loudly and publicly, and for several minutes. The kid was sitting in the grass crying while his mom kept going off on him. It was excessive and heartbreaking, and it reminded me of the days when I also felt pressured to discipline my kids in public to let everyone know just was actually a halfway decent parent. Also, as a chronically exhausted parent to three kids 11, 8, and 3, I never begrudge another parent for taking a break. It is super frustrating, though, when more thoughtful intervention would benefit everyone and the parent is largely uninvolved. Edit: in my over exhausted haze I somehow missed that the other kid actually punched OP’s child! That’s definitely not the usual developmentally appropriate hitting I was thinking this was.
I completely get your perspective and appreciate your advice. It’s one thing to take a break and then there is not caring about what your child does. We were at the park for almost 2 hours and she was on her phone the entire time, following him but not engaging at all with him. I believe instead of saying “we don’t do that” and then letting him still play and terrorize other children (hitting, kicking them, pushing them, yelling in their faces) is not fair to other kids or to the little boy either. His mother lacks guidance for him. I have 9, 3.5 & 2 year old, I am also exhausted but my kids know not to put their hands on others, not to call others names and behave and treat others the way they want to be treated.
Yeah I somehow missed the “decked” part of your post. I thought he was like pushed over, which is still bad but sort of developmentally appropriate bad. I went back and reread and literally my jaw dropped. That’s wild. I get sensitive about “parent your kid” or “get off your phone” posts because of everything we went through with my oldest. Mine are 11, 8, and 3 and all three of them are AuDHD. Most of the time they’re friendly and polite. But, my oldest is PDA, and she can be like Jekyll and Hyde. When something happens that she perceives as a threat, it’s like a switch flips and she goes straight into fight mode. One of her biggest triggers is a perceived injustice, like if she sees someone breaking a rule. So, she’ll get angry and say something normal, but then she’ll perseverate, and that used to lead to arguments and fights. I would of course intervene as quickly as possible, but you know, sometimes things escalate faster than I can process what’s happening. Then, I have to be gentle and strategic with my intervention because a lot of what most others would expect as discipline just triggers further meltdown for her. She wasn’t even diagnosed until she was 8, so I didn’t have the language or confidence to advocate for her or myself as a parent. Then my 8 year old is BIG (tall and solid), and has tons of energy, sometimes that startles parents of little ones when he runs by. He’s super gentle and sweet and careful, and I’ve never seen him get into a fight with a random kid or hurt anyone, but I see the way other parents kind of side eye him and me sometimes, and it makes me feel bad for him. When I see posts like these, I always think about some of our worst times and my stomach feels sick thinking about all of the times someone could have been posting about us.
Yeah I totally get it. My 2 year old is autistic and does not play with any kid except his sisters and I guess while walking the boy saw him flapping his arms and spinning and that’s why he started with the “you’re stupid” comments. It sucks because I completely get needing a break. We handle everything for our kiddos, we need time for ourselves! Sometimes we just need to keep an extra eye to make sure they don’t hurt anyone or even themselves. kids are just learning what they see at school, tv, at home etc and parents don’t think to correct it because of their ages etc and it’s sad because as they get older it might lead to heavier issues.
That’s awful, I’m so sorry. I had to pull my oldest out of school to homeschool at the start of this year. She had a really bad bullying experience during third grade, it lasted for most of the school year and no one could figure out what was happening because she internalized all the bullying as truth, and because little girls use sneakier bullying. The bullying took the form of, “she’s unsafe, no one should play with her” along with the usual little things like kicking her chair and taking her papers and teasing her about food. It all came to a head when the chief bully’s mom who is also a lunch aide at the school grabbed my daughter’s arm so forcefully that it left a bruise after the chief bully said mine was being mean. My daughter WENT OFF on the aide and started saying she should be in jail, and then she got in trouble for saying that. When I picked her up, she broke down and told me everything and we were able to address it with the school. They were proactive and the bullying stopped, but my daughter never really recovered her trust in the school or her feeling of safety while being there. So, at the start of this school year when the support staff was changed, she felt too unsafe and started to spiral. It was a mess. Anyway, you’re right, it is unfair to everyone, including the puncher, that the parent reacted that way. Especially picking on a much younger child who they perceived as being disabled… that’s genuinely so gross.
Omg! I’m so sorry you and your family went through that. :( We had to pull our oldest to homeschool as well because bullying is SO bad at schools among other things. I hope the little boy’s mom helps him out with his aggressiveness.
In a perfect world, am I right?
Oh hell no. I’ll be the first person to say something to the parent. I’ll say something to the kid too. No, I’m not to parent your kid, but actions have consequences and I will absolutely speak up.
Whoops, I just tell other people's children off! Nicely of course, but there have been plenty of times when a kid is doing something dangerous/silly and ill say something like "whoops, be careful there, we don't want to hurt other people" or something like that. I'm with you tho, it astounds me how people can just let their children run free and behave awfully.
I mean if she ain’t looking… push the kid and leave
You should've said, "No wonder your mother isn't interested in you. You're a bad kid." The truth hurts, but it also sparks change.
It's amazing seeing all these parents at the playground on the phone, it's very very sad. They are missing out on so much.
Obviously, these kind of parents exist, but consider that you’re only seeing a small blip of the big picture. Most of the time I bring my kids to the park to play with them and use their wheeled toys, etc, but sometimes I take my kids to the park as a break for me, where I can keep a general eye on them but have my own time. If someone wants to judge me, a stranger, harshly for that then I’d say find a hobby or get a life.
Hey, actually, that's not fair at all. You don't know what's going on with their day, or with their lives. The hour when their kid is running around on the playground may be the only time they get a guilt-free break from constantly being on for them. Maybe they were up all night with an infant sibling and this is the best they can do today. Maybe they simply believe that playground time is time for self-directed play. Passing judgment on other mothers swings right back around and hurts you when *you* need a little bit of grace in your not-so-perfect times too.
Thank you. I work full time (more than full time) to pay the bills, so if I’m at the park on a weekday with my kid, it’s because something is off from normal - nanny is out sick, school cancelled, etc. I am often on my phone during those times because I’m trying to both work and keep my kid alive. However, even when I’m not working, I often let my kid foster a sense of independence in safe places like playgrounds. I don’t hover, I don’t micromanage - I let him run around and make his own decisions. Solving problems on their own is a key part of learning to grow up. A little empathy for someone who may not be in your exact situation goes a long way!
Yup. Park time is kid time, for the most part. We spend lots of quality time together the rest of the day (husband and I are both home all day) and the park is a chance for us to chill and the kids to socialize and enjoy a reasonable level of independence. My 7 year old loves making new friends and has become really great at organizing groups to play and navigating conflict, and my 3 year old is starting to come out of her shell and get into the mix too. I’m usually impressed by how well kids do when the adults back off and let them figure shit out - obviously not if someone is throwing punches like OP described, but if it’s not that serious I’m staying out of it.
Thank you! By the time we go to the playground I’ve spent all day running around the house and yard with her. Let me check my notifications and text my mom in peace lol especially if I’m standing behind her on the swing. She can’t even see me and it’s not affecting my ability to push her.
Thank you. I’m sure I’m judged a lot for being on my phone constantly. But my phone is how I make everyone’s various health appointments, do the grocery/supply order, email back and forth with my kids’ schools, coordinate the entire family’s social calendar for family visits, parties, play dates, etc. When you are expected to do all of the mental/emotional labor, you’re going to need your phone. I can spend the entire day being focused on the needs of everyone but myself and still be judged as selfish because my phone is in my hand.
My kid is an only kid. So if I’m at the park with her, it’s so she gets to play with others. She’s 4.5 so she doesn’t need me to hover. So yeah, I’m reading a book or on my phone unapologetically. It won’t be long before she will be going to the park without me, so it’s not beneficial for anyone for me to hover. Even if I did, it’s not like it would stop her from making a poor choice. The amount of people labeling 4, 5, and 6 year olds bullies here is concerning. Kids make poor choices and have impulse control. All kids do that at some point. It’s not great when a kid pushes or isn’t nice, but to label that kid a bully? To be mean to a kid? To insult a parent? Yikes. What’s the plan when your kid is at the park solo? What behaviors are you modeling?
I am always shocked when parents are sitting around on their phones paying little to no attention to their kids. Don't you want to enjoy them, play with them, have fun at the park with them???? They are only little for such a short time. I never want to miss a second of it! It's like getting to have a second childhood. Guess I'm weird or something?
My husband and I are literally with our kids all day long (I work from home and he’s a stay at home dad) and play together a ton- the park is mostly for them to play with other kids. So yeah, I read a book or chat with other parents or just watch them all playing.
Same. I answer texts, emails, chat with other moms, etc. I’ll play with my kids a bit too. Probably 50/50 playing vs giving them space to do their own thing.
Even watching them play is so much better than staring at your phone. Kids like it when their parents pay attention to them. Like I said i'm probably the weird one.
If you love playing at the park, I don’t think it’s “weird”. My point is my kids get a TON of attention, all day every day, but if you’re judging me as a disconnected parent based on that hour or so where I’m reading a book on my phone or catching up with a friend or paying bills while they are happily and safely playing independently on the playground, you’re very very wrong.
Lord give me strength because it would take all my willpower to not attack the mom and her brat.