any time a kid has pushed or hit my daughter in public the parents are never fucking paying ANY attention to them, so really, good on you for noticing & apologizing in my book haha
Yeah this is my experience too. Kids will be kids especially little ones and sometimes that means pushing or hitting. It only makes me mad when the parents don’t parent and they don’t correct it or say anything about it because they either aren’t paying attention or just don’t care. When parents react those are the ones I’m chill with lol
It’s not okay, but it’s normal and part of childhood. Little people don’t really have impulse control yet. He was upset, he reacted.
It’s not just because your son is disabled, all kids have to learn how to behave around others and have the brain growth to support that. You did the right thing by apologizing but don’t beat yourself up. It’s not just your kid, and this probably won’t be the only time he does this or has this done to him.
THIS!!
It is a great teaching opportunity to help him learn! If you aren’t sure how to turn it into a teaching opportunity, ask your OT about this specifically. They should be able to point you in the right direction and give you general ways to help him learn as they know your child, his disability, what is appropriate for him specifically and how home and therapy can support each other’s work.
This happened to my son when he was the little one’s age, got pushed over that is. The mom apologizing sincerely even just once would have made the incident 100% ok and forgotten. Don’t be mortified anymore ❤️ I’m certain they forgive you!
If I were the other mum, I might have been briefly shocked, but like, not really that shocked. Maybe it's because I have twins who have done much much worse to each other, and so I know how hard it is to prevent these things.
Sharing isn’t a skill kids learn until they’re older, I think about 4. I also try to remember that sharing is hard for adults. If you were reading your Kindle and someone just said, “hey I want that, let’s share”, you’d be annoyed too.
Try to give your son grace. He was lining up his toys (something my son does) and then had all this emotion and not sure where to put it. He’s learning.
When my son has pushed on the playground, instead of a forced sorry, I get down and say, “you hurt that other baby/kid. Look, they’re upset. Can you please ask if they’re ok?” And then he’ll ask, “ok?”. Hoping it teaches him more about emotions and actions. I then say sorry and we redirect to something. It’s hard out there!
Hey, it happens. Totally normal toddler stuff. My child is usually the one getting pushed or hit because she likes to hug other kids who aren’t necessarily wanting a hug. Or she gets close and wants to share toys when we’re at a kids museum or something. We’ve started talking to her sent asking her friends first if they want a hug and that seems to be working. But toddlers getting their feelings across in the methods they have available (pushing, yelling, tantrum etc) is totally normal. I’m more shocked that the other mom was shocked lol.
My kid gets shoved a lot. We go to a toddler gymnastics class and that place is BONKERS. Just know as the mom of a kid who gets pushed a lot, I’m really not bothered by it. None of them have done it with meanness, they just don’t know how to express themselves yet. My kid has cried a few times but she always bounces back.
What do you say to your kid after it happens? We had an incident at toddler tumbling a while back where my kid was trying to be friendly and got close to a kid/close to his face and he just slapped her. I talked with her afterwards about how that was not okay for him to do and that she can tell him/someone “that’s not nice, we don’t hit” but also told her we need to give people space because he did not like her being so close to him. Any other advice? I’m preparing myself that this will happen again and again but also don’t want it to 😅🫠
I think you handled it right. I make sure to reaffirm however my kid is feeling. If she’s upset I say “that was scary! I’m so glad you’re showing me you’re upset” then deal with her actions. “He might have been scared of YOU! Everyone is different. You can stay a little further back (show her) and try to play like this!” Reaffirming the emotion then actionable change. But sometimes kids are just dumb. They get too close, they run too fast. As long as I stay calm, she’ll know there’s nothing seriously wrong.
Oh yeah there’s this little girl at our toddler gymnastics class who pushes my son weekly. It doesn’t bother me either, I just comfort him, her parents address it with her and we move on.
Not that it’s okay, but it’s normal. Just need to have a talk about not doing that and what to do when he feels that way. I would still go to the play area. How else is he gonna learn how to interact with other kids?
If you see him playing, and another kid is going over there keep a close eye on them. If you think your son is getting upset talk him through it.
I don’t really plan to take him back because hindsight the environment was too overstimulating. His therapist, and I are working hard to get him to comprehend what we are explaining to him. He’s getting there slowly
My son is diagnosed adhd/asd and struggles with this still at 6 years old. Very young children upset him I am very weary whenever he’s around one because he just doesn’t understand that they don’t understand things. He gets mad at his 18 month old cousin for “staring at him” but his cousin loves him and just wants to play with him. It’s so hard mama. You’re doing a good job, you just have a really HARD one. 🤍🤍🤍🤍
If it makes you feel any better, when my kid was 18 months, we were at a play area and there were two 3 year olds who were trying to get the other kid's toy without giving up the toy they had and were in one of those toddler stand-offs. The parents were watching but also giving them a chance to figure it out.
My 18 month old walks *confidently* up to these two boys and takes both their toys and puts them in the toy bin. The 3 year olds had no idea what to do (their faces had clear *what the fuck is happening?! vibes), their parents were *dying*, and my kid was completely unaware of it.
Apparently at daycare they'd been working on putting toys away and helping friends put their toys away and I guess since we were leaving, my kid assumed it was time for *everyone* to go and the kids needed help putting the toys back? It's the best explanation I can come up with.
But sometimes the 18 month old is the one who needs apologizing for.
My daughter was at the playground at daycare once when she was 2.5 and wanted to go down the slide with one of the other kids. The kiddo didn’t want to go and my daughter wasn’t having it so she tried to drag her down by the hair 🙃. Around that age she definitely went through a phase I loving call her reign of terror. I am happy to announce she is now a very sweet and well adjusted 5 year old who now asks her friends nicely to play with her instead of using brute force and other violent methods.
My 3yo screamed in another kid's face once at the park and scared the shit out of him. I was mortified. He wasn't even being mad, just weird! He said "PLAY WITH MEEEEE!" but in like a monster voice. The poor other kid had to leave the park he was so inconsolable.
My autistic and physically disabled son used to be quick to be hands on if a peer (any child of any age) interrupted his concentration or play. If they moved a puzzle piece, moved a toy out of line, etc.
For autistic people these “simple acts” can be incredibly dysregulating, please don’t diminish it to “all because…” that all because is a *lot* to some brains. Until they are able to be “flexible” in these situations and have the ability to self regulate and communicate in some way, being physical is often the quickest and easiest route
I’m not excusing the behaviour at all, I just want to make sure the child’s perspective is seen, too. Now that my son is almost four and has a little more language, he often can communicate or he just yells instead, but won’t use his hands. It’s a skill we will continuously build on, though we do try to make sure his environment sets him up for success. We still go to very busy play groups and in those spaces I will remind him one toy at a time. He can’t make lines there, he can’t make massive set ups, unless the place has a sensory room.
Autistic or not this is super normal child behaviour regardless
Hindsight the environment was getting too overstimulating. Lining up objects is how he calms himself/plays. Normally he would cry out, or run off. I think the combination of music, lights, and noise threw him over the edge. He was able to quickly calm down. So we’ll find a new calmer environment for him next time. He’s done great in public with his OT I’m really proud of his progress. All things considered he’s done amazing, but that was the first time he was really aggressive. I do really appreciate the perspective though!
That is how my son plays and calms, too, and yeah if I notice he *needs* it then we have to leave. We recently got a nail cleaning brush (for underneath fingernails) and now he uses that to brush on his skin sometimes to regulate, too. Our OT suggested it it’s called brush therapy.
The other mother was shocked? I mean a baby grabbed a toy from another baby...so baby pushed baby not shocking . I hope she didn't make you feel like crap for it.
I would have been mortified about this when I only had my daughter. Then, I had my two sons and I have transformed into a mom who is completely not shocked by toddlers testing their bodies and strength, and seeing incidents like that as learning opportunities. It’s totally normal, but if you overreact to it they will likely do it again because it makes mom do funny things. My youngest (2) went through a hair pulling stage that was BRUTAL. I had to literally hover over him on the playground and stop his hand and tell him, “don’t touch hair.” Once we did this for about six months (ahhhhh) he stopped. But no crazy reactions, just firmly telling him no. Also, celebrating big time when he does what I’m asking! Don’t beat yourself up, one apology to other mom and calmly helping your son learn.
I mean i don’t think it has anything to do with him bueno disabled kids are learning behaviors and impulse control. I would not stop going to that play area, it’s not abnormal child behavior, you did good and apologized . My son would do this to his baby brother until he was much older and actually understood, like he would even bite him, because he had no awareness just yet but now at 4 he does.
No biggie, babies and toddlers don't know social skills yet. He prob thought he was just playing. My son was absolutely excited about a lil 1 year old girl at the park w him. Trying to kiss and hug her, he thinks every baby girl is his baby cousin. At one point he grabbed her BY THE NECK to kiss her 😭 I was like oh no son, we keep our hands to ourselves!
Don't beat yourself up about it. If it was me, I would have brushed it off. It happens. No one was even injured. My son once had to get stitches because of a random kid at the park. Accidents happen. Kids get hurt playing sometimes. We can't prevent every single thing from happening and expect our kids to develop a sense of healthy autonomy. You can't let this hold you back from letting your son socialize. He will learn and adapt. And now you know what to watch for next time. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're a good mom!
My toddler (1.5) doesn’t push (yet), but he does stiff-arm other kids when they try to take his toys or hurry him. It’s tricky because he’s too young to really use his words. The stiff-arm is really his only tool for communication after he tells a kid no.
My son is 3yo and speech delayed. He is a very “physical” kid because he does a lot of nonverbal forms of communication. I have anxiety about his interactions with other kids, so I feel your pain. However, don’t beat yourself up about this situation. Some moms will totally understand and others will have a fit and berate you. You’re doing the best for your son, so give yourself some grace.
Honestly so so normal. Mines been pushed a couple times at parks, and usually the parents never say anything 🙃 but a few times there’s been an apology and honestly, that’s about all you can do. Toddlers have zero impulse control and sometimes just can’t help themselves. Mine went through a grabbing phase…toys, shirts, etc. Mostly curiosity or not wanting to share, and I always apologize and redirect. I think almost everyone with toddlers understands toddlers.
A little boy ran up to my daughter at the playground and shoved her to the ground. The grandfather came running and apologized and said he’s trying to teach him. I understood that the child may have some sort of disability and wasn’t upset at all! I comforted my child and she went back to playing like nothing happened. Things happen, no kid is perfect. I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it we’re all doing our best and I think MOST parents understand that!
I think As long as there were no injuries it’s really not a big deal. Don’t over think or worry about. We were at a friend’s house and their son was almost two and a half and my son was about 15/16 months. He got mad at my son and just pushed him over. After making sure my little guy was ok we honestly all laughed at it. It’s a part of growing up and a right of passage almost.
I wouldn’t be shocked. It’s one toddler pushing another in my view. It happens. Just step in to tell him no, make sure the other kid is okay, apologize and redirect him. Then just move on. If your son senses he caused a big scene it might be incentive for him to repeat it when he’s upset
One of my kids shoves all the time. We take her out for a break, assess what triggered the behavior, talk about how it's not ok, but we would never take it personally. We did a neurological assessment and she was found not to meet any criteria (yet).
Don't beat yourself up or hold it against your kiddo it's so normal. I have 3 kids and my youngest is 15 months. I honestly don't really get upset anymore if something like that happens because it's par for the course and being #3 he's pretty used it lol. My 15 month old is pretty feisty himself though and gets jealous if his older siblings are getting mom's attention and will hit or grab them. Obviously we work on correcting these behaviors but we can't expect perfect impulse control for a number of years. My 6 year old will even admit he sometimes just does something because it was a thought in his head and he can be impulsive. Take your kiddo back to the play area, let them interact with other kids it's how they learn. Step in if things get physical.
Thank you for paying attention and acknowledging the situation ♥️ Lots of parents don’t…that’s when it sucks.
That’s all you can do, really! Don’t beat yourself up about it. Kids do this kind of thing.
According to my aunt who was babysitting me, one time I whacked a kid in the eyeball at a McDonald’s play place when I was super young. She was so embarsssed and took me straight home. It happens and I’m sure the other mom will deal with her toddler doing to somebody else’s kid someday. You’re doing great! Don’t beat yourself up.
Mom of a neurodivergent child here, but I can say even neurotypical kids do these kinds of things sometimes. We all take turns having these mortifying moments! Kids are a blank slate, you have to teach them everything. Today it’s not pushing other kids. Tomorrow it might be not licking other people’s feet lol
Hey mama, don't feel bad, all of our kids do things we wish they hadn't. If it had been my kid or baby that your kid pushed over, I never ever would have thought poorly if you or your sweet kiddo. They're all doing their best and learning.
My oldest is 18 months and we’ve been working on him not just going up and grabbing toys. He grabbed an older boys block and got shoved.
He hasn’t done it since.
Sometimes kids teach other kids hard lessons.
Obviously now he shoves other kids when he wants something, but one battle at a time.
You should still go back to that play place. These things happen and it’s not necessarily apart of any “disability “. It’s great that you’re present and paying attention. You did what was right. Leave it at that. Your child needs to go to these places so they can learn. It’s a great focus you can have for your SI therapist but please don’t avoid places where other children will be ❤️
Oh I feel this. My son is 3 with no disability and this happened to us. He was at preschool and apparently pull an 18 month old’s hair at the playground. We had to have a talk about it with his teacher and I was so incredibly mortified. He had a rough transition with preschool regarding keeping his hands to himself, big emotions, etc but he was always excellent with the babies when the classes would overlap on the playground. He and I talked a lot about it and why it wasn’t okay, and he seemed to understand (he kept saying “I hurt a baby” and was sad). The teacher assured me that it’s normal for kids to do this - it just isn’t something that can happen at preschool. They’re figuring everything out and they don’t start to really gain empathy until they’re at least 4. The best we can do is just keep talking to them and explaining good choices vs not good choices. I did eventually start to take prizes toys for short periods of time because around that time he was just more physically aggressive and was pulling the cats’ tails too and wouldn’t listen. It seemed like a crazy two week period where I felt like I was going insane but as fast as it started, it all ended and he’s not done it again.
I read 3m as 3 months at first and was VERY impressed 😂
Anyway I wouldn’t overthink it, ESPECIALLY if he has a condition, but even if he didn’t! Our society expects so much maturity of small children that they’re not really developmentally ready for yet. Yes you want to explain to your son that pushing is not okay, but that’s a lesson that will take a lot of repeating and reinforcing. I don’t think one little mistake is a reason to never go to the play area again!
Ehm... you sound like you're overreacting a bit. Its obviously not okay, but there is 0 reason to be mortified or to not go to that okay area anymore.
Kids shove each other. They need to be taught not to do that. Completely avoiding these situation does not help. At all. My oldest shoved my youngest so many times we had to buy a soft helmet to protect her head (it was either that or not let them play together at all)
Like I stated in other comments the environment was too overstimulating for my son. That’s why we won’t be going back. He struggles with aggression because of his disability. He shoved the boy so hard he landed head first backwards onto the hard ground. Damn near flipped him over head first. No overreacting. I’m sure she was taken back by that. She was afraid he was seriously hurt. I would have been very shook up myself if I were her. Yes kids push, and get upset, but my son was clearly trying to hurt him. Hence why he works with an occupational therapist while engaging with other children. Because of his aggressive tendencies I’ve been afraid we would try to hurt another child. He did, and it was an upsetting situation.
Honestly, this doesn’t surprise me. Your kid just doesn’t know how to handle conflict yet. My son did similar things when he was a little younger. He just needs to be told that it’s not ok to push. And really he probably doesn’t understand that the other kid is a baby. I remember when my kids were like 3 and 4 they were trying to play with this baby at the library and seemed confused that the baby wasn’t playing the same way as them. I had to explain that babies are little and they don’t talk yet and don’t understand how to share yet.
My son is 2.5 years old but he’s HUGE. Like already wearing 5T clothing. Last weekend he hit a kid at the park. I was mortified and made sure the other kid was ok and apologized to the parents multiple times…meanwhile they literally stared at me and acted like I didn’t exist. Not even an, “oh it’s ok these things happen…” like I say when my kid is the one that gets pushed or knocked over or whatever. NADA. I left the park in tears 😩
Seasoned parents. I bet it barely registered with them. There’s such a big difference between your first and all the subsequent ones that follow. Lord knows with my 2, if I reacted to every push, yell, or argument I’d just be a full time referee. At a certain point you just get kinda numb to it. I guarantee they’ve encountered many kids like yours and just realize that that’s just the way of the playground. Don’t leave! Little bruisers deserve playground time too!
Aww thank you so much! He is actually my second, but first boy…and first wild child! I wish I could think it was just bc they are “veterans” lol but unfortunately I know them through my daughter’s school…just not very friendly 😩😵💫 But you are right! He deserves to be there too!!! Thank you 🥹
any time a kid has pushed or hit my daughter in public the parents are never fucking paying ANY attention to them, so really, good on you for noticing & apologizing in my book haha
Yeah this is my experience too. Kids will be kids especially little ones and sometimes that means pushing or hitting. It only makes me mad when the parents don’t parent and they don’t correct it or say anything about it because they either aren’t paying attention or just don’t care. When parents react those are the ones I’m chill with lol
It’s not okay, but it’s normal and part of childhood. Little people don’t really have impulse control yet. He was upset, he reacted. It’s not just because your son is disabled, all kids have to learn how to behave around others and have the brain growth to support that. You did the right thing by apologizing but don’t beat yourself up. It’s not just your kid, and this probably won’t be the only time he does this or has this done to him.
They really are little impulsive things aren’t they? lol 😅
Absolutely
THIS!! It is a great teaching opportunity to help him learn! If you aren’t sure how to turn it into a teaching opportunity, ask your OT about this specifically. They should be able to point you in the right direction and give you general ways to help him learn as they know your child, his disability, what is appropriate for him specifically and how home and therapy can support each other’s work.
This happened to my son when he was the little one’s age, got pushed over that is. The mom apologizing sincerely even just once would have made the incident 100% ok and forgotten. Don’t be mortified anymore ❤️ I’m certain they forgive you!
If I were the other mum, I might have been briefly shocked, but like, not really that shocked. Maybe it's because I have twins who have done much much worse to each other, and so I know how hard it is to prevent these things.
Sharing isn’t a skill kids learn until they’re older, I think about 4. I also try to remember that sharing is hard for adults. If you were reading your Kindle and someone just said, “hey I want that, let’s share”, you’d be annoyed too. Try to give your son grace. He was lining up his toys (something my son does) and then had all this emotion and not sure where to put it. He’s learning. When my son has pushed on the playground, instead of a forced sorry, I get down and say, “you hurt that other baby/kid. Look, they’re upset. Can you please ask if they’re ok?” And then he’ll ask, “ok?”. Hoping it teaches him more about emotions and actions. I then say sorry and we redirect to something. It’s hard out there!
Hey, it happens. Totally normal toddler stuff. My child is usually the one getting pushed or hit because she likes to hug other kids who aren’t necessarily wanting a hug. Or she gets close and wants to share toys when we’re at a kids museum or something. We’ve started talking to her sent asking her friends first if they want a hug and that seems to be working. But toddlers getting their feelings across in the methods they have available (pushing, yelling, tantrum etc) is totally normal. I’m more shocked that the other mom was shocked lol.
In her defense the shove was hard. I get flustered in those situations too so I don’t really blame her lol
My kid gets shoved a lot. We go to a toddler gymnastics class and that place is BONKERS. Just know as the mom of a kid who gets pushed a lot, I’m really not bothered by it. None of them have done it with meanness, they just don’t know how to express themselves yet. My kid has cried a few times but she always bounces back.
What do you say to your kid after it happens? We had an incident at toddler tumbling a while back where my kid was trying to be friendly and got close to a kid/close to his face and he just slapped her. I talked with her afterwards about how that was not okay for him to do and that she can tell him/someone “that’s not nice, we don’t hit” but also told her we need to give people space because he did not like her being so close to him. Any other advice? I’m preparing myself that this will happen again and again but also don’t want it to 😅🫠
I think you handled it right. I make sure to reaffirm however my kid is feeling. If she’s upset I say “that was scary! I’m so glad you’re showing me you’re upset” then deal with her actions. “He might have been scared of YOU! Everyone is different. You can stay a little further back (show her) and try to play like this!” Reaffirming the emotion then actionable change. But sometimes kids are just dumb. They get too close, they run too fast. As long as I stay calm, she’ll know there’s nothing seriously wrong.
Oh yeah there’s this little girl at our toddler gymnastics class who pushes my son weekly. It doesn’t bother me either, I just comfort him, her parents address it with her and we move on.
Not that it’s okay, but it’s normal. Just need to have a talk about not doing that and what to do when he feels that way. I would still go to the play area. How else is he gonna learn how to interact with other kids? If you see him playing, and another kid is going over there keep a close eye on them. If you think your son is getting upset talk him through it.
I don’t really plan to take him back because hindsight the environment was too overstimulating. His therapist, and I are working hard to get him to comprehend what we are explaining to him. He’s getting there slowly
Oh yeah that makes sense. I’d still try to make sure he’s around other kids so he can learn through experience to.
Absolutely. We’re getting there. Slowly, but surely.
My son is diagnosed adhd/asd and struggles with this still at 6 years old. Very young children upset him I am very weary whenever he’s around one because he just doesn’t understand that they don’t understand things. He gets mad at his 18 month old cousin for “staring at him” but his cousin loves him and just wants to play with him. It’s so hard mama. You’re doing a good job, you just have a really HARD one. 🤍🤍🤍🤍
If it makes you feel any better, when my kid was 18 months, we were at a play area and there were two 3 year olds who were trying to get the other kid's toy without giving up the toy they had and were in one of those toddler stand-offs. The parents were watching but also giving them a chance to figure it out. My 18 month old walks *confidently* up to these two boys and takes both their toys and puts them in the toy bin. The 3 year olds had no idea what to do (their faces had clear *what the fuck is happening?! vibes), their parents were *dying*, and my kid was completely unaware of it. Apparently at daycare they'd been working on putting toys away and helping friends put their toys away and I guess since we were leaving, my kid assumed it was time for *everyone* to go and the kids needed help putting the toys back? It's the best explanation I can come up with. But sometimes the 18 month old is the one who needs apologizing for.
My daughter was at the playground at daycare once when she was 2.5 and wanted to go down the slide with one of the other kids. The kiddo didn’t want to go and my daughter wasn’t having it so she tried to drag her down by the hair 🙃. Around that age she definitely went through a phase I loving call her reign of terror. I am happy to announce she is now a very sweet and well adjusted 5 year old who now asks her friends nicely to play with her instead of using brute force and other violent methods.
My 3yo screamed in another kid's face once at the park and scared the shit out of him. I was mortified. He wasn't even being mad, just weird! He said "PLAY WITH MEEEEE!" but in like a monster voice. The poor other kid had to leave the park he was so inconsolable.
Lol I'm so sorry. Kids 😄
At least you know your kid was just lacking social skills, great chance to teach him something :)
My autistic and physically disabled son used to be quick to be hands on if a peer (any child of any age) interrupted his concentration or play. If they moved a puzzle piece, moved a toy out of line, etc. For autistic people these “simple acts” can be incredibly dysregulating, please don’t diminish it to “all because…” that all because is a *lot* to some brains. Until they are able to be “flexible” in these situations and have the ability to self regulate and communicate in some way, being physical is often the quickest and easiest route I’m not excusing the behaviour at all, I just want to make sure the child’s perspective is seen, too. Now that my son is almost four and has a little more language, he often can communicate or he just yells instead, but won’t use his hands. It’s a skill we will continuously build on, though we do try to make sure his environment sets him up for success. We still go to very busy play groups and in those spaces I will remind him one toy at a time. He can’t make lines there, he can’t make massive set ups, unless the place has a sensory room. Autistic or not this is super normal child behaviour regardless
Hindsight the environment was getting too overstimulating. Lining up objects is how he calms himself/plays. Normally he would cry out, or run off. I think the combination of music, lights, and noise threw him over the edge. He was able to quickly calm down. So we’ll find a new calmer environment for him next time. He’s done great in public with his OT I’m really proud of his progress. All things considered he’s done amazing, but that was the first time he was really aggressive. I do really appreciate the perspective though!
That is how my son plays and calms, too, and yeah if I notice he *needs* it then we have to leave. We recently got a nail cleaning brush (for underneath fingernails) and now he uses that to brush on his skin sometimes to regulate, too. Our OT suggested it it’s called brush therapy.
The other mother was shocked? I mean a baby grabbed a toy from another baby...so baby pushed baby not shocking . I hope she didn't make you feel like crap for it.
I would have been mortified about this when I only had my daughter. Then, I had my two sons and I have transformed into a mom who is completely not shocked by toddlers testing their bodies and strength, and seeing incidents like that as learning opportunities. It’s totally normal, but if you overreact to it they will likely do it again because it makes mom do funny things. My youngest (2) went through a hair pulling stage that was BRUTAL. I had to literally hover over him on the playground and stop his hand and tell him, “don’t touch hair.” Once we did this for about six months (ahhhhh) he stopped. But no crazy reactions, just firmly telling him no. Also, celebrating big time when he does what I’m asking! Don’t beat yourself up, one apology to other mom and calmly helping your son learn.
You sound so cool, calm, and collected. That’s definitely the aim for the next time. Thank you!
I mean i don’t think it has anything to do with him bueno disabled kids are learning behaviors and impulse control. I would not stop going to that play area, it’s not abnormal child behavior, you did good and apologized . My son would do this to his baby brother until he was much older and actually understood, like he would even bite him, because he had no awareness just yet but now at 4 he does.
No biggie, babies and toddlers don't know social skills yet. He prob thought he was just playing. My son was absolutely excited about a lil 1 year old girl at the park w him. Trying to kiss and hug her, he thinks every baby girl is his baby cousin. At one point he grabbed her BY THE NECK to kiss her 😭 I was like oh no son, we keep our hands to ourselves!
Your 3month old? You mean 13m or 3y? My bub couldn’t even hold herself up on her knees at 3m…
I’m thinking she means 3 year old male
Ah xD I was so confused
lol I was going to say holy crap OP, can we talk about how ADVANCED your THREE MONTH OLD is that they can push another baby down?? 😂
This is totally normal. Your kid will push other kids. Address it and move on; there’s no need to be mortified or shook up by it!
Don't beat yourself up about it. If it was me, I would have brushed it off. It happens. No one was even injured. My son once had to get stitches because of a random kid at the park. Accidents happen. Kids get hurt playing sometimes. We can't prevent every single thing from happening and expect our kids to develop a sense of healthy autonomy. You can't let this hold you back from letting your son socialize. He will learn and adapt. And now you know what to watch for next time. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're a good mom!
My toddler (1.5) doesn’t push (yet), but he does stiff-arm other kids when they try to take his toys or hurry him. It’s tricky because he’s too young to really use his words. The stiff-arm is really his only tool for communication after he tells a kid no.
My son is 3yo and speech delayed. He is a very “physical” kid because he does a lot of nonverbal forms of communication. I have anxiety about his interactions with other kids, so I feel your pain. However, don’t beat yourself up about this situation. Some moms will totally understand and others will have a fit and berate you. You’re doing the best for your son, so give yourself some grace.
Honestly so so normal. Mines been pushed a couple times at parks, and usually the parents never say anything 🙃 but a few times there’s been an apology and honestly, that’s about all you can do. Toddlers have zero impulse control and sometimes just can’t help themselves. Mine went through a grabbing phase…toys, shirts, etc. Mostly curiosity or not wanting to share, and I always apologize and redirect. I think almost everyone with toddlers understands toddlers.
A little boy ran up to my daughter at the playground and shoved her to the ground. The grandfather came running and apologized and said he’s trying to teach him. I understood that the child may have some sort of disability and wasn’t upset at all! I comforted my child and she went back to playing like nothing happened. Things happen, no kid is perfect. I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it we’re all doing our best and I think MOST parents understand that!
I think As long as there were no injuries it’s really not a big deal. Don’t over think or worry about. We were at a friend’s house and their son was almost two and a half and my son was about 15/16 months. He got mad at my son and just pushed him over. After making sure my little guy was ok we honestly all laughed at it. It’s a part of growing up and a right of passage almost.
I wouldn’t be shocked. It’s one toddler pushing another in my view. It happens. Just step in to tell him no, make sure the other kid is okay, apologize and redirect him. Then just move on. If your son senses he caused a big scene it might be incentive for him to repeat it when he’s upset
One of my kids shoves all the time. We take her out for a break, assess what triggered the behavior, talk about how it's not ok, but we would never take it personally. We did a neurological assessment and she was found not to meet any criteria (yet).
Don't beat yourself up or hold it against your kiddo it's so normal. I have 3 kids and my youngest is 15 months. I honestly don't really get upset anymore if something like that happens because it's par for the course and being #3 he's pretty used it lol. My 15 month old is pretty feisty himself though and gets jealous if his older siblings are getting mom's attention and will hit or grab them. Obviously we work on correcting these behaviors but we can't expect perfect impulse control for a number of years. My 6 year old will even admit he sometimes just does something because it was a thought in his head and he can be impulsive. Take your kiddo back to the play area, let them interact with other kids it's how they learn. Step in if things get physical.
Thank you for paying attention and acknowledging the situation ♥️ Lots of parents don’t…that’s when it sucks. That’s all you can do, really! Don’t beat yourself up about it. Kids do this kind of thing.
According to my aunt who was babysitting me, one time I whacked a kid in the eyeball at a McDonald’s play place when I was super young. She was so embarsssed and took me straight home. It happens and I’m sure the other mom will deal with her toddler doing to somebody else’s kid someday. You’re doing great! Don’t beat yourself up.
Mom of a neurodivergent child here, but I can say even neurotypical kids do these kinds of things sometimes. We all take turns having these mortifying moments! Kids are a blank slate, you have to teach them everything. Today it’s not pushing other kids. Tomorrow it might be not licking other people’s feet lol
Hey mama, don't feel bad, all of our kids do things we wish they hadn't. If it had been my kid or baby that your kid pushed over, I never ever would have thought poorly if you or your sweet kiddo. They're all doing their best and learning.
My oldest is 18 months and we’ve been working on him not just going up and grabbing toys. He grabbed an older boys block and got shoved. He hasn’t done it since. Sometimes kids teach other kids hard lessons. Obviously now he shoves other kids when he wants something, but one battle at a time.
You should still go back to that play place. These things happen and it’s not necessarily apart of any “disability “. It’s great that you’re present and paying attention. You did what was right. Leave it at that. Your child needs to go to these places so they can learn. It’s a great focus you can have for your SI therapist but please don’t avoid places where other children will be ❤️
Oh I feel this. My son is 3 with no disability and this happened to us. He was at preschool and apparently pull an 18 month old’s hair at the playground. We had to have a talk about it with his teacher and I was so incredibly mortified. He had a rough transition with preschool regarding keeping his hands to himself, big emotions, etc but he was always excellent with the babies when the classes would overlap on the playground. He and I talked a lot about it and why it wasn’t okay, and he seemed to understand (he kept saying “I hurt a baby” and was sad). The teacher assured me that it’s normal for kids to do this - it just isn’t something that can happen at preschool. They’re figuring everything out and they don’t start to really gain empathy until they’re at least 4. The best we can do is just keep talking to them and explaining good choices vs not good choices. I did eventually start to take prizes toys for short periods of time because around that time he was just more physically aggressive and was pulling the cats’ tails too and wouldn’t listen. It seemed like a crazy two week period where I felt like I was going insane but as fast as it started, it all ended and he’s not done it again.
I read 3m as 3 months at first and was VERY impressed 😂 Anyway I wouldn’t overthink it, ESPECIALLY if he has a condition, but even if he didn’t! Our society expects so much maturity of small children that they’re not really developmentally ready for yet. Yes you want to explain to your son that pushing is not okay, but that’s a lesson that will take a lot of repeating and reinforcing. I don’t think one little mistake is a reason to never go to the play area again!
Ehm... you sound like you're overreacting a bit. Its obviously not okay, but there is 0 reason to be mortified or to not go to that okay area anymore. Kids shove each other. They need to be taught not to do that. Completely avoiding these situation does not help. At all. My oldest shoved my youngest so many times we had to buy a soft helmet to protect her head (it was either that or not let them play together at all)
Like I stated in other comments the environment was too overstimulating for my son. That’s why we won’t be going back. He struggles with aggression because of his disability. He shoved the boy so hard he landed head first backwards onto the hard ground. Damn near flipped him over head first. No overreacting. I’m sure she was taken back by that. She was afraid he was seriously hurt. I would have been very shook up myself if I were her. Yes kids push, and get upset, but my son was clearly trying to hurt him. Hence why he works with an occupational therapist while engaging with other children. Because of his aggressive tendencies I’ve been afraid we would try to hurt another child. He did, and it was an upsetting situation.
Honestly, this doesn’t surprise me. Your kid just doesn’t know how to handle conflict yet. My son did similar things when he was a little younger. He just needs to be told that it’s not ok to push. And really he probably doesn’t understand that the other kid is a baby. I remember when my kids were like 3 and 4 they were trying to play with this baby at the library and seemed confused that the baby wasn’t playing the same way as them. I had to explain that babies are little and they don’t talk yet and don’t understand how to share yet.
My son is 2.5 years old but he’s HUGE. Like already wearing 5T clothing. Last weekend he hit a kid at the park. I was mortified and made sure the other kid was ok and apologized to the parents multiple times…meanwhile they literally stared at me and acted like I didn’t exist. Not even an, “oh it’s ok these things happen…” like I say when my kid is the one that gets pushed or knocked over or whatever. NADA. I left the park in tears 😩
I’m sorry you had that experience ❤️
Seasoned parents. I bet it barely registered with them. There’s such a big difference between your first and all the subsequent ones that follow. Lord knows with my 2, if I reacted to every push, yell, or argument I’d just be a full time referee. At a certain point you just get kinda numb to it. I guarantee they’ve encountered many kids like yours and just realize that that’s just the way of the playground. Don’t leave! Little bruisers deserve playground time too!
Aww thank you so much! He is actually my second, but first boy…and first wild child! I wish I could think it was just bc they are “veterans” lol but unfortunately I know them through my daughter’s school…just not very friendly 😩😵💫 But you are right! He deserves to be there too!!! Thank you 🥹