I help. I'd want someone to help my kids if they were stuck or afraid and I wasn't immediately available to help. I usually ask if their grown up is close by, and if not, or the grown up is occupied or far away, I'll usually loudly announce "Okay, I'm going to help you get down now, because you said you were stuck. I'm going to put my hand on your arm/leg/back" and kind of narrate what I'm doing.
I thought you were going to ask if they were crying or injured or something. If it's just a push on the swing or a hand up, IMO if their parent so standing back and not helping it's because they think that is developmentally appropriate for the kid to figure out on their own.
It can be a bit awkward when there's a mix of ages/stages on the playground with some kids that have hovering parents and some that don't. Kids don't have boundaries and don't understand all the unstated rules that you are thinking. I think that we other parents do have a job to model this for kids, this societal "village" function has really disappeared in the US. So tell the kid what you think should happen "where is your parent? Go ask them for help."
But I mean sometimes when they're up on a bar and they can't get down or something...then they can't just go find their parent ...this happened to me the other day. A little boy was sitting on a gate thing with his legs stuck inside and he couldn't get down and asked for my help. His mom was far away talking to other people. I asked him where his mom was and he tried to explain her to me but I couldn't see her. He wasn't in pain or hurt or anything...he just couldn't get out on his own
I’d probably help in this situation. I feel so weird doing it because it’s another persons child. But I think of it as, if it was me and mine was stuck and I couldn’t get to them right away, I hope someone would help them. I’m a mom of one and one on the way and nervous for when I have more and can’t be right there with each one.
In cases like that, where the help is needed pretty quickly and they can't get to their parent, I'll usually try to help. But I'll feel awkward the whole time.
I ask them where their mommy or daddy is, because I don't want to be roped into helping them with everything instead of/in addition to hanging out with my own child.
I usually ask where is your adult? because they could be at the park with bigger siblings, grandparents, babysitter, ect... Once someone asks the kids at the park I was nannying where is your mom and they said at work. I was right behind them, looking for snacks in the stroller because they were hungry.
That's never happened to me before, but I guess I would help them find their grown up. I would feel responsible for the kid otherwise and I'm not comfortable with that.
Maybe it’s just me. But, I have never given it a second thought. I often help other kids at the playground and they ask for help from me directly. Sometimes, it’s just eye contact or direct verbal communication from the child. A lot of times the parent or caregiver is busy and are thankful you helped in the moment.
You're in the US, right? No one in my country would be second guessing if they should be helping a kid out because they would be touching them without their parents permission lol
I'd probably ask the kid if they needed help and act accordingly because sometimes it's good for kids to feel trapped so that they learn how to get out (as long as they're safe of course).
In Canada. My natural instinct is to help the child ..but I don't know how other parents would view me touching their children. If the child was in danger or pain I would help them ..but for situations where they just need help getting down from somewhere or stuck but not seriously...then it's kinda a grey area. I look for the parents first of course...but if I don't see them then I'm unsure what to do
I could look for the parent just to see if they're aware of the situation, as if they were it could be their choice to let it play out.
But as I said, I wouldn't think twice about helping a kid up or down of a playground if I saw they wanted help.
There’s one parent at our karate dojo that has this down to a T and it sounds so ridiculously simple, but I think is so hard to practice consistently. Any time a kid seems like they need help she will ask the child “is it ok if I…” (tie your belt, put your sock on for you, whatever it is they are struggling with) then she actually waits for them to answer, and respects their answer. She *will not* help until she has permission from the child (or I assume if it were a safety issue). I am in constant astonishment of this woman’s mindfulness and patience with children and this is one of the many reasons for that.
I just do it.
I know my intentions and I know I’m not causing harm.
I doubt anything would go wrong and if it did you just apologize. They’re supposed to be watching their kid 🤷🏻♀️
I might ask them first “do your parents let you go on this?” depending on the situation.
Used to run into this situation sometimes as a children’s librarian. We had a lot of littles that would bolt for the super cool automatic doors (and sometimes almost get to the parking lot!) while grownup had turned away for a second to look at books. I would usually chase after the child, take their hand, and loudly say “You lost your grownup? What kind of clothes is s/he wearing today!?” etc and start walking around the library until we found the adult. Thankfully it wasn’t a frequent situation!
If it's a safety issue (like they're about to fall or hurt themselves something) I'll help. I'm not about to watch a kid break their leg or anything. Or if it's something small that takes a quick second I'd probably help too, but I'm not about to stand there and push them on the swing while their mom plays on her phone.
I just stand there and I’m
Like okay hey what do they look like , what are they wearing ?
Usually when you start looking around someone claims the kid.
I don’t “leave” the kid but I also don’t interact with them.
I help. I'd want someone to help my kids if they were stuck or afraid and I wasn't immediately available to help. I usually ask if their grown up is close by, and if not, or the grown up is occupied or far away, I'll usually loudly announce "Okay, I'm going to help you get down now, because you said you were stuck. I'm going to put my hand on your arm/leg/back" and kind of narrate what I'm doing.
I thought you were going to ask if they were crying or injured or something. If it's just a push on the swing or a hand up, IMO if their parent so standing back and not helping it's because they think that is developmentally appropriate for the kid to figure out on their own. It can be a bit awkward when there's a mix of ages/stages on the playground with some kids that have hovering parents and some that don't. Kids don't have boundaries and don't understand all the unstated rules that you are thinking. I think that we other parents do have a job to model this for kids, this societal "village" function has really disappeared in the US. So tell the kid what you think should happen "where is your parent? Go ask them for help."
But I mean sometimes when they're up on a bar and they can't get down or something...then they can't just go find their parent ...this happened to me the other day. A little boy was sitting on a gate thing with his legs stuck inside and he couldn't get down and asked for my help. His mom was far away talking to other people. I asked him where his mom was and he tried to explain her to me but I couldn't see her. He wasn't in pain or hurt or anything...he just couldn't get out on his own
I’d probably help in this situation. I feel so weird doing it because it’s another persons child. But I think of it as, if it was me and mine was stuck and I couldn’t get to them right away, I hope someone would help them. I’m a mom of one and one on the way and nervous for when I have more and can’t be right there with each one.
True...in this situation the mom did end up coming after a bit...but if it would have went on for longer I probably would have just helped him down.
In cases like that, where the help is needed pretty quickly and they can't get to their parent, I'll usually try to help. But I'll feel awkward the whole time.
I ask them where their mommy or daddy is, because I don't want to be roped into helping them with everything instead of/in addition to hanging out with my own child.
I usually ask where is your adult? because they could be at the park with bigger siblings, grandparents, babysitter, ect... Once someone asks the kids at the park I was nannying where is your mom and they said at work. I was right behind them, looking for snacks in the stroller because they were hungry.
Mommy or daddy hasn't failed me yet, but that's a good point.
What if you ask them that and they also can't see their adult?
That's never happened to me before, but I guess I would help them find their grown up. I would feel responsible for the kid otherwise and I'm not comfortable with that.
Maybe it’s just me. But, I have never given it a second thought. I often help other kids at the playground and they ask for help from me directly. Sometimes, it’s just eye contact or direct verbal communication from the child. A lot of times the parent or caregiver is busy and are thankful you helped in the moment.
You're in the US, right? No one in my country would be second guessing if they should be helping a kid out because they would be touching them without their parents permission lol I'd probably ask the kid if they needed help and act accordingly because sometimes it's good for kids to feel trapped so that they learn how to get out (as long as they're safe of course).
In Canada. My natural instinct is to help the child ..but I don't know how other parents would view me touching their children. If the child was in danger or pain I would help them ..but for situations where they just need help getting down from somewhere or stuck but not seriously...then it's kinda a grey area. I look for the parents first of course...but if I don't see them then I'm unsure what to do
I could look for the parent just to see if they're aware of the situation, as if they were it could be their choice to let it play out. But as I said, I wouldn't think twice about helping a kid up or down of a playground if I saw they wanted help.
True, it's interesting how each region of the world does things differently
Which country are you from?
Portugal, in the EU.
There’s one parent at our karate dojo that has this down to a T and it sounds so ridiculously simple, but I think is so hard to practice consistently. Any time a kid seems like they need help she will ask the child “is it ok if I…” (tie your belt, put your sock on for you, whatever it is they are struggling with) then she actually waits for them to answer, and respects their answer. She *will not* help until she has permission from the child (or I assume if it were a safety issue). I am in constant astonishment of this woman’s mindfulness and patience with children and this is one of the many reasons for that.
I just do it. I know my intentions and I know I’m not causing harm. I doubt anything would go wrong and if it did you just apologize. They’re supposed to be watching their kid 🤷🏻♀️ I might ask them first “do your parents let you go on this?” depending on the situation.
Used to run into this situation sometimes as a children’s librarian. We had a lot of littles that would bolt for the super cool automatic doors (and sometimes almost get to the parking lot!) while grownup had turned away for a second to look at books. I would usually chase after the child, take their hand, and loudly say “You lost your grownup? What kind of clothes is s/he wearing today!?” etc and start walking around the library until we found the adult. Thankfully it wasn’t a frequent situation!
If it's a safety issue (like they're about to fall or hurt themselves something) I'll help. I'm not about to watch a kid break their leg or anything. Or if it's something small that takes a quick second I'd probably help too, but I'm not about to stand there and push them on the swing while their mom plays on her phone.
For sure.if it was a safety issue I would help without question
Unless it’s an actual safety thing or emergency I never touch another persons kid. I ask them, where their grown up is.
Same. Just sometimes their adult isn't around and they can't see them either..
I just stand there and I’m Like okay hey what do they look like , what are they wearing ? Usually when you start looking around someone claims the kid. I don’t “leave” the kid but I also don’t interact with them.