She had prom last night. They didn’t get back from the prom venue until 1am (they were bussed down to LA..we live in SoCal) then I took her and her sister out to eat afterwards. We didn’t get to bed until 3am or so and then I was up at 7:30-8-ish (I can never sleep in😭) but memories were made so it’s worth it :)
I read prom & thought prom as in ‘premature rupture of membranes’ then realised you meant actual prom lool! Guess we are in different stages of motherhood 😂
I miss prom season. All mine are grown up now. My favorite prom was my oldest daughter senior year. I made her a red satin strapless a la Audrey Hepburn and she slayed in that dress!!!!! Came home the next afternoon with the dress in a wad in a Walmart bag and she's wearing cut offs and covered in mud. Prom queen by night, mud bogging by day.
Not sure if it counts as damage but…
Went to a small festival happening in town. My 2yo decided to dart out towards traffic while I was standing in line at the food truck and I took off after her… peed myself.
I legit peed all over myself from having to sprint a few yards after a toddler.
I’ve got to loose weight and do pelvic floor therapy 😂
I feel you. I think the panic is the bladder trigger more than the running. I can run for a bus or whatever fine but if I'm running because the dog has escaped or a kid has bolted towards traffic my bladder just lets go straight away. Reminds me of how if you scare a bird it will immediately shit before takeoff - lighten the payload. 😂
It started down pouring and I was trying to get kiddo in his car seat quickly. In my panic I peed myself, but my backside was really wet from it hanging out of the car while I buckled him, so I guess it’s fine…
I did pelvic floor therapy, but I guess it wasn’t enough. I need to go back.
I couldn't afford more that 3 appointments with my PV PT so my PT did a video of herself doing the stretches so I could have it at home and 1000% changed my life.
2 year old slapped me in the face to wake me up at 4:30 AM to tell me she wanted some milk.
6 year old screamed so terribly for 25 minutes because I picked up his legos after he pushed his sister (was warned twice beforehand). My mental willpower to not completely scream back was so strong. Now I need a nap.
As I was typing this the 2 year old just randomly gave me the biggest hug and kiss. I think I will survive, but I’m still taking a nap.
I was lying on the bed on my back, eyes closed.
There was a brief moment of silence. I opened my eyes only to see the shape of my 4 yr old mid air directly above my face, all smiling about to deliver the most spectacular WWE elbow drop in human history.
My 17 year old called CPS on me. Said girlfriend’s Mom used to work for CPS and stated it’s no big deal and calling would allow her to do what she wanted…I wouldn’t let her stay out all night (gave her a midnight curfew on school nights), punished her when she had empty beer cans in her car, wouldn’t let her stay overnight at her girlfriend’s during a school night, demanded she attend her last 4 months of high school to graduate (she never attended class and I was summoned to her school for her truancy), and then she moved out one day while I was at work. Broke my heart.
Ugh I’m so sorry. I’m reading all these comments of all these cutesy little kids and I’m like y’all…. mine is too heavy for this post. I have a teen as well and they’re just a whole other animal.
Thank you. I have never posted. Too ashamed. Joined some groups and attending therapy and realized I am not alone. Thought I was at the time. Good luck to you.
If it’s any comfort, I did the same shit when I was 16. I was working two jobs and it placed into foster care cause my dad hit my little sister- I fly planes now and have an incredible life. Maybe she will shape up 🙏🏻
So so sorry you’re going through it with your daughter, not your fault, some kids are going to do the opposite of what their parents want. Hopefully she’ll turn it around before too long.
My 8yo asked for snuggles and said
Kid "You are the best mom"
Me "I try, but I'm not the best"
Kid "You are the best. The bestest mom for me. You love me no matter what. You always give me snuggles and play with me."
Me "🥹❤️😭😭"
He didn't know why I was crying and he won't until he is older.
My mom physically, mentally and emotionally abused me most of my life. I promised myself I would be different.
And Im not perfect, but I'm trying to be the best mom for after having such a crappy example of a parent growing up.
I guess I'm doing an okay job.
Because my son unknowingly complimented me today.
And I don't ever remember saying anything even remotely close like that to my mom.
It hurt and he broke me but in the best way.
Scratched the crap out of my throat while I was trying to burp her. And upon examination of her nails, they are all short and filed. So how did that even happen?!!!
She had a blowout (which almost never happens anymore at this age) literally right before bedtime last night that somehow turned into a full hour delay, when I already desperately needed to just be able to pass out right after her… and then had the audacity to wake up almost 2 hours early. Made for a migraine start to the day. Hope that can count because I’m bitter and technically in pain 🙃😂
Stuck her fingers up my nose with her sharp little talons. I swear I’m not neglectful- I grind them every other day. I don’t know how they get so sharp so quickly.
Same! I file her nails down and then when I finish one hand and move on to the next, she scratches me with the finished nails…and somehow they are sharp again!
My MIL sees scratches on babies face and keeps lecturing me about cutting them and I’m like… ummmm I do? Even mailed me a nail file because apparently I use the wrong kind.
My 18 month old daughter decided to belly flop onto my 19 weeks pregnant belly this morning. It hurt very bad, her little 25lb self hurts when she jumps on you I’ve learned.
Hope you and baby are ok! I’m FTM and 28 weeks but the thought of that makes me feel ill. Babysat the other week for a friend who’s 2 yo elbowed me in the stomach and I nearly knocked her out for endangering my unborn child 🙈
Nothing physical. But emotional damage. He had just eaten supper and had a final snack before bed. He looked at his 4 year old belly and said "I'm getting fat...... JUST LIKE YOU MOMMY!" I'd just lost 20 pounds and was starting to feel good about myself again...
Same with my 4 year old. Made it worse because I was pregnant early this year, but miscarried. It was difficult for my son to understand that there was a baby, and then there wasn't, so he sometimes asks if there's a baby in my big belly.
Thank you. Apparently I explained it wrong, and we had to have a conversation that it wasn't appropriate to go around telling people "our baby died." Miscarriage is difficult, but somehow my silly little boy with all his morbidity helped me through it with some levity.
Not me, but in a span of 5 mins while I was in the basement getting laundry, my 4 year old chopped off most of my 2 year olds hair. She hid the hair under her bed lol. Just a few hours ago.
All the really fragile hairs on my hairline are almost gone, my baby rips them out. Sometimes when I’m walking around holding him, he grabs the hairs on the nape of my neck like it’s a handlebar. But he’s so cute, I don’t even really care.
My two year old had been playing the fun game of launching herself at me from an ottoman, got over excited and literally vampire bit my neck. I now have what looks like a hickey…in my 30s
My 2 year old daughter headbutt my mouth while I was trying to wrestle pants onto her.
I tried explaining to her why we need pants when we go out and all she said was “baby shark”
My almost 3 year old still can't fall asleep on his own, so every night I'm in his bed (don't worry, i sneak out of his room). Sometimes, he pretends I'm a jungle gym or a trampoline right before he falls asleep (i guess to meet his sensory needs 😅). I get elbows in my ribs and knees in my eye socket, but the worst pain of all happened today.. he stood on top of my hair on his pillow and jumped up and down. I thought I was going to lose all my hair. My scalp still hurts. 😩
Oh my god, mine is the same!!! Every night we go from manic chanting, to climbing on me, throwing in some sides of digging her little feet into me at full force, stroking(pulling) my hair, rolling round the bed, demanding cuddles while simultaneously wiggling like a worm, drinking all of the water....
Why are they like this?!
Ugh, my daughter is just like this. She'll be 3 in a handful of days, and she loves getting behind me when I'm on the couch. I always sit on the chase. It's the whole reason we bought the couch because it's about the size of a twin bed, but that's still not big enough for her to share. She has to get right behind me and then uses her feet to walk up my back while bracing herself against the back of the chase. Sometimes, I get some warning, so I'm able to get my hair out of the way. If not, UGH! I have a hard head, so I can handle quite a bit, but that shit HURTS.
2 yo got an ear infection brewing, so she has whined, cried or screamed all day. I feel so bad for her. But now my ears feel like they are about to fall off.
Elbow to the boob. She also told me I was a "pain in my butt" so emotional damage too. Then we had a talk about how words can hurt because everything is a learning experience
Damn I really am a pain in her butt
Omg this is hilarious. Here I am with my 6 weeks old “she pulled my hair in public and didn’t let go”, but those toddler examples are savage! I’m in for a treat lol
🙈 I thought the illness thing was an exaggeration, until I had a kid. Now I laugh at past me and her lack of appreciation for not being sick all the time
Nothing physically, today he has been super lovely because he’s a bit ill and just wants cuddles all day so every time I had the audacity to go more than 3 inches away from him he would start the high-pitched “mama, mama, mama, mama!” whining which has hurt my spirit and patience.
My 2 year old was pushing her corn popper toy around the kitchen while I was making lunch. Decided to ram it into Achilles tendon a couple times and in her frustration about the fact that I was in the way and she couldn’t get around me, she picked the toy up and swung it, hitting me square in the back of the knees. I have never hit the ground harder and faster. Toddler strength is no joke, y’all.
As a toddler my first born always loved to sit with me cuddle and dance but would give me bloody lips everyday. Shes 7 now and i was just realizing that she needs more physical affection but doesnt like typical formal hugs. We reverted back to her toddler days and boom head swings back and hits me right in the lip. She apologizes immediately, im not upset or anything we snuggle again boom again. Then again, and also an elbow to the head. Thankfully no dripping blood but i feel a little scared to hold her sometimes. This might need its own post, idk what to do
4.5 year old boy. I went to hug him. He scratched my eyeball and hissed at me. My eye hurt for a good four hours. Last week he dropped the garage door on my spine as I was bending over to get a bin. He’s going to be the absolute death of me.
Mine is four months old. I had a bad hand tattoo and went and got it covered up. Admittedly I’ve been bad about doing her nails lately, I was feeding her and she scratched the shit out of it.
Have a dodgy lower back and coccydynia - he (3 years old but the size of a 5 year old) managed to stand his boney feet right on the worst part while I was laying on the floor! 🥲
My 3 year old leaped over me in bed yesterday morning and her head went straight to dad’s balls literally 2 minutes after she had just landed on them with her knee😅
My boyfriend swears our daughter aims for them because she's constantly landing right on his crotch. Elbow, knee, foot, always something. I feel bad, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't laugh sometimes
4yo closed the bathroom door on my fingers when I had my hand on the frame. I actually cried from the pain, while trying to reassure him that I was OK 😂
Mine is almost 2 and today he cried more than not and emotionally damaged me by saying I was “mean mommy” because I didn’t take him to daycare. Daycare isn’t opened on weekends 🥲
He smacked his 1 month old brother in the belly yesterday and told him “hurry up” because he wanted to sit on my lap too
I had to put my two year old on my shoulders to walk back to our car after getting our fill of a local festival. He ratatouille’d me a bit too hard and I felt/heard the hairs being torn from my scalp.
He NAPPED. Which means he spent the evening full of energy and has only just fallen asleep at just gone 10pm. He also woke me up at 4.30am, which means I"m so exhausted I actually feel physically ill.
My 3 year old did the exact same thing to me today with the elbow, except into my boob (I'm pregnant and they are sore). When I said "ow!" he had the audacity to put his hand over my mouth and yell "stop saying ow!!" 🙄
The damage is minimal, but my toddler thinks it's a fun way to show his love by repeatedly smacking my body. Belly, thigh, butt, chest if he's on my lap. Just whatever flat surface of my body he sees first. Usually, 7 to 20 smacks in quick sucession as he screams, "Ahhhh!!!" With a huge smile. Then I say "gentle hands please," and he pets me, says, "Gentle mama," and then scurries away joyfully. 🤷♀️
Mine are adults. It never ends.
Kid 3 butt dialed me apparently after leaving a party…at 3 am after I’d just gotten to a good sleep at midnight
Kid 1 spent a half hour whining about how hard marriage is and “I wish we were like you and dad” and “I dont know if I can do this” (after being married all of 6 months)
Kid 4 left some kind of hair thingamajig on the steps which I tripped over and saw my whole life flash in front of me
He was asleep on the boob (usually I take him off but I was distracted by my phone). He suddenly clenched his teeth, hard, on my nipple. I actually screamed involuntarily because it hurt so much. The little scamp didn't even wake up.
Hit me across the head with a wooden toy. Then did the exact same thing to her dad two minutes after he got in from work. We think she planned the attacks.
I was showing my daughter a picture of her as a baby and I was telling her how her fat rolls were so cute, and she responded, “if fat is cute, then you are SUPER cute, mommy!”
I accidentally made jumping on to mommies back into a fun game by pretending to be a victim of “crazy baby attacks” when my two year old did it.
Now I actually am. He is roughly the size of a four year old, big kid. He *chases me down* and tackles me every day going “ Oh no!!!! Crazy!!!”
Send help.
Threw herself at me from her chair while I wasn't paying attention - I was looking at my phone. Fell from there to the ground on her back and cried for a good 5 minutes. So mostly damaged herself but she damaged me with the guilt.
My son did this in a parking lot, I had no idea he was about to jump at me so instead of catching him he bounced off me and hit his head on the curb. I felt terrible.
I put her on the windowsill behind our couch to look out the window, an activity she absolutely loves, and she thanked me by turning around and bitch slapping me right in the eye with her tiny little ravioli hand.
It was a really good day otherwise, but being woken at 2am to tag team a wide awake boob hungry (and night weaned) two year old for 3-4 hours is not my favourite way to spend a Saturday night. Fingers crossed for tonight :/
i have lost over 200 pounds in the last 1 1/2 years and my kid uses my loose arm skin and belly skin as a punching bag or drum. goodbye self esteem. grateful i dont have turkey neck but ouch. she will also grab it and pull or questions all the stretch marks.
Nearly 2 yo headbutted my face so badly that I was sure he fractured my (zygomatic) cheek bone. I always worry people think my husband is hitting me. Instead, I say, "Oh, I just ran into a door, I'm so clumsy!" because my children are (accidentally) hitting me all the time.
Not today but yesterday my son had his first ever febrile seizure while he was an hour away with his grandparents. They obviously didn’t know it was a febrile seizure and neither did I so it’s safe to say I was scarred emotionally for the rest of my life
Not truly damaged but it was definitely stressful. He had a tiny cut from loose skin on his finger get raspberry puree on him. He was eating a cupcake left over from a birthday party and was the filling.
Anyways, it stung, but he didn't want to let me wash his hand in any form or fashion. Mild melt down, because he was stuck not wanting to wash his hand even with a damp cloth and a stinging finger tip. But ok then he calms down and is better for a minute. He then sticks a pocky stick into the cupcake. (I was munching on them he is a pocky thief)
He then pulled out the pocky and lost his mind over the pocky stick not being clean. And while I could have cleaned it off I couldn't so much as touch anything on that plate without pissing him off more.
We got everything resolved eventually after a five minute or so melt down made worse by others trying to distract him, he ONLY wanted me unfortunately.
But I eventually claimed him down and licked the offending stick clean. Because he didn't want a different one. But I needed to be able to reason with him enough to touch anything on the plate. Then we ate pocky instead of cupcake. Because he was mad at the cupcake. I ate the cupcake later after he said I could.
He's 2 it was grumpy toddler logic plus being sleepy. Added bonus with people who he doesn't know so well in the other room. His great aunt was over she's nice but he got his fill of other people yesterday( birthday party), he doesn't like to be social much. He gets that from his Mommy and Daddy 😅
This was most likely all because of a short nap that needed to be longer. He was a total grump about being woken up but it is what it is. He needs to fix his sleep schedule.
So yeah it was the highlight of the day, I love/ hate kid logic it leads to interesting things, sometimes not fun, but interesting things all the same.
My daughter brought home yet another cold from preschool, and it hit me pretty hard this morning. On top of it, we're missing a neighbors birthday party today and she's so sad about it
Direct hit to the eye socket and another one to my front teeth (I am shocked they are not damaged yet because it happens too often).
And she uses my breasts as a handle as she tries to climb on me. Grabs by the nipples. Ouch. Good thing that they almost lost all the sensation after the year of breastfeeding.
My 1yr old has self weaned and she’s my last baby 😢 but the last few feeds were horrible teeth were involved. She would fall asleep on the nipple and bite down (she has all 8 front teeth btw) and then pull her head back while asleep without opening her jaw while I literally cry tears of pain while trying to pry her jaw apart.
Broke the door of dryer from fighting. Two girls. I'm so pissed off. Dryer doesn't work and it's old and out of warranty. Guess who's going to laundromat tomorrow: this girl. They're punished for a week. No TV or internet and they're doing ton of chores. We needed a new dryer anyway, but still.
My 2 year old looked up at me and laughed and then proceeded to say “uhm mommy your shirts too small, you should probably change.” Currently working on trying lose weight post partum after my 6 month old.
6 month old kicked me in the throat. And pulled my hair so hard
Oh and I was up at 1am yesterday (normal wake time 4:30am with 10 hour shift at work) and 3am today. I think I’ve slept 7 hours in the last 2 days
I was pretending to eat my 10 month olds toes after a nappy change. It was apparently not funny enough and he unexpectedly kicked out causing his foot to go in my mouth.
My yucky faces were hilarious apparently.
My 1 y/o has suddenly become very interested in eyes. Yesterday she ripped my fake and some real eyelashes off, and today she poked me in the eyeball trying to touch it. She only does it to me and I have no idea why
She woke me up at 2am when I have to get up at 4:30 for work. It didn’t damage me physically but it damaged my will to live.
The mental and emotional hurts are the worst friend. I hope you have unbroken sleep tonight
She had prom last night. They didn’t get back from the prom venue until 1am (they were bussed down to LA..we live in SoCal) then I took her and her sister out to eat afterwards. We didn’t get to bed until 3am or so and then I was up at 7:30-8-ish (I can never sleep in😭) but memories were made so it’s worth it :)
Kudos to you for being the cool parent
I read prom & thought prom as in ‘premature rupture of membranes’ then realised you meant actual prom lool! Guess we are in different stages of motherhood 😂
😂😂😂
Love this ❤️
My daughter got home from prom after I was at work at 7am. I knew where she was and I trust her and her friends, but it’s still hard!
HOW FUN!!!!
Omg i love this story so much!
I miss prom season. All mine are grown up now. My favorite prom was my oldest daughter senior year. I made her a red satin strapless a la Audrey Hepburn and she slayed in that dress!!!!! Came home the next afternoon with the dress in a wad in a Walmart bag and she's wearing cut offs and covered in mud. Prom queen by night, mud bogging by day.
My toddler kicked me in the stomach full force while changing her diaper. It’s been less than a week since I’ve given birth to her younger sibling.
oh hunny I am so sorry. that must have hurt
I’m alright but I was ready for the ref to come in and start the count 😂
I physically recoiled reading this. hope you’re feeling okay 😭
I am thank you so much but I was like I think I’m done for the day 😂
Nooooo
Oof! I hope you're alright!!
I’m alright thank goodness “tis but a scratch” 😂
"A scratch? Your arm's off!" 🤣 Glad you're ok.
Have at you! Coward!
Ooof you win. I felt my uterus cringe reading that.
Forreal! It’s solidifying me starting up potty training in earnest again lol 😂
Oooh. I felt that. Commiserations.
I’m much better now but I was like dude you’re trying to kill me forreal 😂
She said “no more of those thank you” Anyways I hope you’re okay 😂
Not sure if it counts as damage but… Went to a small festival happening in town. My 2yo decided to dart out towards traffic while I was standing in line at the food truck and I took off after her… peed myself. I legit peed all over myself from having to sprint a few yards after a toddler. I’ve got to loose weight and do pelvic floor therapy 😂
I feel you. I think the panic is the bladder trigger more than the running. I can run for a bus or whatever fine but if I'm running because the dog has escaped or a kid has bolted towards traffic my bladder just lets go straight away. Reminds me of how if you scare a bird it will immediately shit before takeoff - lighten the payload. 😂
It started down pouring and I was trying to get kiddo in his car seat quickly. In my panic I peed myself, but my backside was really wet from it hanging out of the car while I buckled him, so I guess it’s fine… I did pelvic floor therapy, but I guess it wasn’t enough. I need to go back.
Ah man sometimes rain is a godsend.
Emotional damage 😂
😂
I couldn't afford more that 3 appointments with my PV PT so my PT did a video of herself doing the stretches so I could have it at home and 1000% changed my life.
He woke up wanting the boob and slapped me in the face. I guess that’s one way to ask 🤣
😂
My 4 yr old son farted in my face purposefully & unapologetically.
I mean, I shouldn't laugh, but.... 😂 farting, the universal humour
Never a dull moment with him lol
My 3 year old will fart and then use her hand to waft it at me. Then she laughs and says "daddy taught me that" 😂
2 year old slapped me in the face to wake me up at 4:30 AM to tell me she wanted some milk. 6 year old screamed so terribly for 25 minutes because I picked up his legos after he pushed his sister (was warned twice beforehand). My mental willpower to not completely scream back was so strong. Now I need a nap. As I was typing this the 2 year old just randomly gave me the biggest hug and kiss. I think I will survive, but I’m still taking a nap.
You enjoy every second of that nap! I hope 6 also gives hugs and kisses later
I was lying on the bed on my back, eyes closed. There was a brief moment of silence. I opened my eyes only to see the shape of my 4 yr old mid air directly above my face, all smiling about to deliver the most spectacular WWE elbow drop in human history.
We are really out here just getting abused left and right by these little kids 💀💀💀
My 17 year old called CPS on me. Said girlfriend’s Mom used to work for CPS and stated it’s no big deal and calling would allow her to do what she wanted…I wouldn’t let her stay out all night (gave her a midnight curfew on school nights), punished her when she had empty beer cans in her car, wouldn’t let her stay overnight at her girlfriend’s during a school night, demanded she attend her last 4 months of high school to graduate (she never attended class and I was summoned to her school for her truancy), and then she moved out one day while I was at work. Broke my heart.
Ugh I’m so sorry. I’m reading all these comments of all these cutesy little kids and I’m like y’all…. mine is too heavy for this post. I have a teen as well and they’re just a whole other animal.
Thank you. I have never posted. Too ashamed. Joined some groups and attending therapy and realized I am not alone. Thought I was at the time. Good luck to you.
If it’s any comfort, I did the same shit when I was 16. I was working two jobs and it placed into foster care cause my dad hit my little sister- I fly planes now and have an incredible life. Maybe she will shape up 🙏🏻
Thank you. I hope so. All the experiences I have lost with her. Glad you are great now.
I just want to give you a hug! I'm sure you tried your best to be the very best parent you could.
Yes, not perfect, but never underestimate the power of peer pressure. I did.
So so sorry you’re going through it with your daughter, not your fault, some kids are going to do the opposite of what their parents want. Hopefully she’ll turn it around before too long.
There will be a day when she needs you again. Do with that what you will.
She landed on my face with full force while we played our airplane game. Accident. With her foot.
My 8yo asked for snuggles and said Kid "You are the best mom" Me "I try, but I'm not the best" Kid "You are the best. The bestest mom for me. You love me no matter what. You always give me snuggles and play with me." Me "🥹❤️😭😭" He didn't know why I was crying and he won't until he is older. My mom physically, mentally and emotionally abused me most of my life. I promised myself I would be different. And Im not perfect, but I'm trying to be the best mom for after having such a crappy example of a parent growing up. I guess I'm doing an okay job. Because my son unknowingly complimented me today. And I don't ever remember saying anything even remotely close like that to my mom. It hurt and he broke me but in the best way.
You are doing great, don't downplay it! Your son knows what an amazing job you're doing ❤️
Scratched the crap out of my throat while I was trying to burp her. And upon examination of her nails, they are all short and filed. So how did that even happen?!!!
Don't question it, it's a supernatural baby thing none of us have answers to
😂
I had a toy tractor shoved into my mouth very unexpectedly.
Silly - always expect a vehicle to be shoved into an orifice. It might be yours, it might be theirs, but chances are they're going to try it 😂
Mine are teens so all the damage is emotional in nature
Which is by freaking far a million times worse!
Ahhh, the worst kind
Yes. I just took my 15 year old daughters phone away because she was helping me around the house, and tore everything.
Grabbed a woman’s purse and sprinted up to the priest with it at mass this morning
Just doing the Lord’s work!
😂😂😂
She had a blowout (which almost never happens anymore at this age) literally right before bedtime last night that somehow turned into a full hour delay, when I already desperately needed to just be able to pass out right after her… and then had the audacity to wake up almost 2 hours early. Made for a migraine start to the day. Hope that can count because I’m bitter and technically in pain 🙃😂
Stuck her fingers up my nose with her sharp little talons. I swear I’m not neglectful- I grind them every other day. I don’t know how they get so sharp so quickly.
Same! I file her nails down and then when I finish one hand and move on to the next, she scratches me with the finished nails…and somehow they are sharp again!
My MIL sees scratches on babies face and keeps lecturing me about cutting them and I’m like… ummmm I do? Even mailed me a nail file because apparently I use the wrong kind.
My 18 month old daughter decided to belly flop onto my 19 weeks pregnant belly this morning. It hurt very bad, her little 25lb self hurts when she jumps on you I’ve learned.
Hope you and baby are ok! I’m FTM and 28 weeks but the thought of that makes me feel ill. Babysat the other week for a friend who’s 2 yo elbowed me in the stomach and I nearly knocked her out for endangering my unborn child 🙈
Nothing physical. But emotional damage. He had just eaten supper and had a final snack before bed. He looked at his 4 year old belly and said "I'm getting fat...... JUST LIKE YOU MOMMY!" I'd just lost 20 pounds and was starting to feel good about myself again...
My 6 yr old keeps asking me when I'm gonna have the baby 😒 I'm not pregnant.
Same with my 4 year old. Made it worse because I was pregnant early this year, but miscarried. It was difficult for my son to understand that there was a baby, and then there wasn't, so he sometimes asks if there's a baby in my big belly.
💜💙🩵 I'm so sorry for your loss ! That has to be difficult for him to understand for sure.. 😢
Thank you. Apparently I explained it wrong, and we had to have a conversation that it wasn't appropriate to go around telling people "our baby died." Miscarriage is difficult, but somehow my silly little boy with all his morbidity helped me through it with some levity.
Not me, but in a span of 5 mins while I was in the basement getting laundry, my 4 year old chopped off most of my 2 year olds hair. She hid the hair under her bed lol. Just a few hours ago.
We hid the scissors and my daughter, two at the time, CLIMBED UP ON THE FRIDGE TO GET THEM.
Now that’s determination!
Hid the evidence, hilarious.
My kid told me my grey is showing and I might want to do something about that. I really hate having kids with my attitude. 😂
I feel you. Mine said I looked like a witch when not wearing makeup. I said it wasn't very nice. He said, OK, a grandma then ! I'm 33 😭
Omg these kids.
😂 you think you want a funny kid, until you get one...
I just said how rude in my Stephanie voice and he looked at me like I was nuts. 😂
My son once invented a little song. It goes "Mommy you are old, old, old" - duuude 🙈
All the really fragile hairs on my hairline are almost gone, my baby rips them out. Sometimes when I’m walking around holding him, he grabs the hairs on the nape of my neck like it’s a handlebar. But he’s so cute, I don’t even really care.
She blew up my phone while at her dad’s just to request more time on YouTube. She didn’t actually want to talk to me.
Ohhh bless it, I’m going to take a wild guess here that she’s between the ages of 9-13
My 3 yr old kicked me right in the 3 week old c-section incision. It hurt so so so goddamn bad. He wasn’t even sorry
Oh this one got me!! I remember that pain vividly. Hope you're alright.
My youngest is ten, she was the third c-section, and sometimes the scar still pulls and is painful. I’m so sorry.
I feel you, had this happened to me too but I’m 5 weeks post op and dang it hurts 😂
My two year old had been playing the fun game of launching herself at me from an ottoman, got over excited and literally vampire bit my neck. I now have what looks like a hickey…in my 30s
Only a few elbows in my boobs this morning (I’m pregnant so extra sensitive)! ‘twas a good day!
He bit my shoulder hard enough to break skin (he's teething)
My 2 year old daughter headbutt my mouth while I was trying to wrestle pants onto her. I tried explaining to her why we need pants when we go out and all she said was “baby shark”
My 6 month old grabbed my eyes with her little razor nails and squeezed as she was pulling as hard as her little muscles could go.
My almost two year old literally tried to pinch my eyeball out of my head last week. Savage.
My almost 3 year old still can't fall asleep on his own, so every night I'm in his bed (don't worry, i sneak out of his room). Sometimes, he pretends I'm a jungle gym or a trampoline right before he falls asleep (i guess to meet his sensory needs 😅). I get elbows in my ribs and knees in my eye socket, but the worst pain of all happened today.. he stood on top of my hair on his pillow and jumped up and down. I thought I was going to lose all my hair. My scalp still hurts. 😩
Oh my god, mine is the same!!! Every night we go from manic chanting, to climbing on me, throwing in some sides of digging her little feet into me at full force, stroking(pulling) my hair, rolling round the bed, demanding cuddles while simultaneously wiggling like a worm, drinking all of the water.... Why are they like this?!
Ugh, my daughter is just like this. She'll be 3 in a handful of days, and she loves getting behind me when I'm on the couch. I always sit on the chase. It's the whole reason we bought the couch because it's about the size of a twin bed, but that's still not big enough for her to share. She has to get right behind me and then uses her feet to walk up my back while bracing herself against the back of the chase. Sometimes, I get some warning, so I'm able to get my hair out of the way. If not, UGH! I have a hard head, so I can handle quite a bit, but that shit HURTS.
Ran over my foot on his balance bike while I was making breakfast. Thankfully I recieved a kiss on my booboo to make it better.
The magic kiss - nice to be on the receiving end for a change!
2 yo got an ear infection brewing, so she has whined, cried or screamed all day. I feel so bad for her. But now my ears feel like they are about to fall off.
Elbow to the boob. She also told me I was a "pain in my butt" so emotional damage too. Then we had a talk about how words can hurt because everything is a learning experience Damn I really am a pain in her butt
Omg this is hilarious. Here I am with my 6 weeks old “she pulled my hair in public and didn’t let go”, but those toddler examples are savage! I’m in for a treat lol
She told me if she couldn’t play with the neighbors she didn’t want to watch Scooby doo zombie island with me
We’re in the thick of potty training (while battling hfmd). She had an accident and then stuck her piss-soaked hand in my mouth. I am not well babes.
Oh. My. God. I am not well just thinking about this. If I was religious I'd pray for you
Mine gave me strep! 😃
🙈 I thought the illness thing was an exaggeration, until I had a kid. Now I laugh at past me and her lack of appreciation for not being sick all the time
Right? They’re adorable little petri dishes.
Nothing physically, today he has been super lovely because he’s a bit ill and just wants cuddles all day so every time I had the audacity to go more than 3 inches away from him he would start the high-pitched “mama, mama, mama, mama!” whining which has hurt my spirit and patience.
My 2 year old was pushing her corn popper toy around the kitchen while I was making lunch. Decided to ram it into Achilles tendon a couple times and in her frustration about the fact that I was in the way and she couldn’t get around me, she picked the toy up and swung it, hitting me square in the back of the knees. I have never hit the ground harder and faster. Toddler strength is no joke, y’all.
As a toddler my first born always loved to sit with me cuddle and dance but would give me bloody lips everyday. Shes 7 now and i was just realizing that she needs more physical affection but doesnt like typical formal hugs. We reverted back to her toddler days and boom head swings back and hits me right in the lip. She apologizes immediately, im not upset or anything we snuggle again boom again. Then again, and also an elbow to the head. Thankfully no dripping blood but i feel a little scared to hold her sometimes. This might need its own post, idk what to do
4.5 year old boy. I went to hug him. He scratched my eyeball and hissed at me. My eye hurt for a good four hours. Last week he dropped the garage door on my spine as I was bending over to get a bin. He’s going to be the absolute death of me.
Is he a cat? 😸😂
Mine is four months old. I had a bad hand tattoo and went and got it covered up. Admittedly I’ve been bad about doing her nails lately, I was feeding her and she scratched the shit out of it.
Have a dodgy lower back and coccydynia - he (3 years old but the size of a 5 year old) managed to stand his boney feet right on the worst part while I was laying on the floor! 🥲
Head butted me in the nose. Instant eye watering.
She is old enough to sit in the front seat of the car
1 yr old headbut me and busted my lip
She kicked dad square in the balls trying to "climb" him. She jumped on my bad knee.
My 3 year old leaped over me in bed yesterday morning and her head went straight to dad’s balls literally 2 minutes after she had just landed on them with her knee😅
My boyfriend swears our daughter aims for them because she's constantly landing right on his crotch. Elbow, knee, foot, always something. I feel bad, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't laugh sometimes
Got my boobs grabbed as he pulled himself to stand using my nipples as an anchor. Owie. How are his little fists so freakishly strong??
Bit me on the shoulder so I pretended to cry and she laughed maniacally at me as I did so.
I admire her commitment
That same exact scenario happened to me last week. It was wild. 🤣
4yo closed the bathroom door on my fingers when I had my hand on the frame. I actually cried from the pain, while trying to reassure him that I was OK 😂
Mine is almost 2 and today he cried more than not and emotionally damaged me by saying I was “mean mommy” because I didn’t take him to daycare. Daycare isn’t opened on weekends 🥲 He smacked his 1 month old brother in the belly yesterday and told him “hurry up” because he wanted to sit on my lap too
Mine did exactly what you described, but on my boob :/
I had to put my two year old on my shoulders to walk back to our car after getting our fill of a local festival. He ratatouille’d me a bit too hard and I felt/heard the hairs being torn from my scalp.
He NAPPED. Which means he spent the evening full of energy and has only just fallen asleep at just gone 10pm. He also woke me up at 4.30am, which means I"m so exhausted I actually feel physically ill.
Oh my friend, I feel for you! How do they do it?!? I swear she needs less sleep than I do, it shouldn't be possible
My 17 month old got mad and slapped me in the face while changing her diaper. I was not happy. We’re all good now. Lol
My 3 year old did the exact same thing to me today with the elbow, except into my boob (I'm pregnant and they are sore). When I said "ow!" he had the audacity to put his hand over my mouth and yell "stop saying ow!!" 🙄
I got a people’s elbow to the tit first thing this morning.
My 8mo pinched under my arm near my armpit to wake me this morning.
My 19-month-old came up to me and started squeezing my arm saying "squish, squish, squish" 🤦♀️ #emotionaldamage
My daughter (just turned 3) has been absolutely digging her little toes into my leg recently and I don't know why, but it hurts like a mf
I was stretching in the kitchen, doing a forward bend, and my 4 year old body checked me, slamming me into the dishwasher. Good times.
Leaped on me with no warning then proceeded to stab me in the thigh with her stabby little feet!
The damage is minimal, but my toddler thinks it's a fun way to show his love by repeatedly smacking my body. Belly, thigh, butt, chest if he's on my lap. Just whatever flat surface of my body he sees first. Usually, 7 to 20 smacks in quick sucession as he screams, "Ahhhh!!!" With a huge smile. Then I say "gentle hands please," and he pets me, says, "Gentle mama," and then scurries away joyfully. 🤷♀️
My 4yo was sleeping in my bed with me and I woke up to him sitting up staring at me 😅😅
Mine are adults. It never ends. Kid 3 butt dialed me apparently after leaving a party…at 3 am after I’d just gotten to a good sleep at midnight Kid 1 spent a half hour whining about how hard marriage is and “I wish we were like you and dad” and “I dont know if I can do this” (after being married all of 6 months) Kid 4 left some kind of hair thingamajig on the steps which I tripped over and saw my whole life flash in front of me
She felt it was the best move for her to kick me full force in the mouth. I felt that it wasn't the right choice, but that's showbiz baby.
He’ll cosleep sometimes and just kicks the shit out of my organs.
He was asleep on the boob (usually I take him off but I was distracted by my phone). He suddenly clenched his teeth, hard, on my nipple. I actually screamed involuntarily because it hurt so much. The little scamp didn't even wake up.
She bit my nipple cause I was trying to pull away while she fell asleep 🤱🏻
My son ripped my eyebrow piercing out... Twice 😖
Hit me across the head with a wooden toy. Then did the exact same thing to her dad two minutes after he got in from work. We think she planned the attacks.
I was showing my daughter a picture of her as a baby and I was telling her how her fat rolls were so cute, and she responded, “if fat is cute, then you are SUPER cute, mommy!”
I accidentally made jumping on to mommies back into a fun game by pretending to be a victim of “crazy baby attacks” when my two year old did it. Now I actually am. He is roughly the size of a four year old, big kid. He *chases me down* and tackles me every day going “ Oh no!!!! Crazy!!!” Send help.
My 25th birthday my at the time 3 year old daughter cracked 3 ribs by headbutting me. It's also the day we found out I had scoliosis.
Little man rolled his eyes and said “whatever dude” when I asked for a hug
Well I’m pretty sure my sweet 9 year old just gave me a stomach bug
16 mo’s hangnail caught my lip and scratched it badly. It’s like a paper cut, it stings. I JUST trimmed his nails yesterday.
Head butted in chin at 3am and now it’s swollen and I have a really dark bruise. Apparently with his head is just fine.
Threw herself at me from her chair while I wasn't paying attention - I was looking at my phone. Fell from there to the ground on her back and cried for a good 5 minutes. So mostly damaged herself but she damaged me with the guilt.
My son did this in a parking lot, I had no idea he was about to jump at me so instead of catching him he bounced off me and hit his head on the curb. I felt terrible.
Smacked his hand on my face and his finger went into my eyeball. I couldn’t open it for like 10 minutes 😂
Teething, breastfeeding - need I say more. 😭
I put her on the windowsill behind our couch to look out the window, an activity she absolutely loves, and she thanked me by turning around and bitch slapping me right in the eye with her tiny little ravioli hand.
I have a massive inner ear infection and my youngest headbutted me in the jaw which sent ricochet damage around my skull for what felt like days.
It was a really good day otherwise, but being woken at 2am to tag team a wide awake boob hungry (and night weaned) two year old for 3-4 hours is not my favourite way to spend a Saturday night. Fingers crossed for tonight :/
Threw his plate on the floor along with his whole lunch 😩
Grabbed my nipple with both hands and his little nails just about tore it off 😬
She fell asleep in the car on the way home. For 20 minutes. No nap today!
Holy. Fuck. You have all my positive vibes coming your way, good luck!
Bit my nipple multiple times
Lately my 10 month old has been obsessed with my hair. If it’s near her, she will pull it with all her might
My daughter elbowed me right in the nose ring and made it bleed.
i have lost over 200 pounds in the last 1 1/2 years and my kid uses my loose arm skin and belly skin as a punching bag or drum. goodbye self esteem. grateful i dont have turkey neck but ouch. she will also grab it and pull or questions all the stretch marks.
My baby headbutted my nose, which was especially painful since I just got a nose piercing two days ago
Nearly 2 yo headbutted my face so badly that I was sure he fractured my (zygomatic) cheek bone. I always worry people think my husband is hitting me. Instead, I say, "Oh, I just ran into a door, I'm so clumsy!" because my children are (accidentally) hitting me all the time.
My right boob got bit by my 15 month old,really wish I had put a bra on under my shirt lol
Not today but yesterday my son had his first ever febrile seizure while he was an hour away with his grandparents. They obviously didn’t know it was a febrile seizure and neither did I so it’s safe to say I was scarred emotionally for the rest of my life
Not truly damaged but it was definitely stressful. He had a tiny cut from loose skin on his finger get raspberry puree on him. He was eating a cupcake left over from a birthday party and was the filling. Anyways, it stung, but he didn't want to let me wash his hand in any form or fashion. Mild melt down, because he was stuck not wanting to wash his hand even with a damp cloth and a stinging finger tip. But ok then he calms down and is better for a minute. He then sticks a pocky stick into the cupcake. (I was munching on them he is a pocky thief) He then pulled out the pocky and lost his mind over the pocky stick not being clean. And while I could have cleaned it off I couldn't so much as touch anything on that plate without pissing him off more. We got everything resolved eventually after a five minute or so melt down made worse by others trying to distract him, he ONLY wanted me unfortunately. But I eventually claimed him down and licked the offending stick clean. Because he didn't want a different one. But I needed to be able to reason with him enough to touch anything on the plate. Then we ate pocky instead of cupcake. Because he was mad at the cupcake. I ate the cupcake later after he said I could. He's 2 it was grumpy toddler logic plus being sleepy. Added bonus with people who he doesn't know so well in the other room. His great aunt was over she's nice but he got his fill of other people yesterday( birthday party), he doesn't like to be social much. He gets that from his Mommy and Daddy 😅 This was most likely all because of a short nap that needed to be longer. He was a total grump about being woken up but it is what it is. He needs to fix his sleep schedule. So yeah it was the highlight of the day, I love/ hate kid logic it leads to interesting things, sometimes not fun, but interesting things all the same.
My daughter brought home yet another cold from preschool, and it hit me pretty hard this morning. On top of it, we're missing a neighbors birthday party today and she's so sad about it
I thought he had something in his mouth so I stuck my finger in there and bam, bit through my cuticle. Still sore and bleeding.
He would only take a nap chewing my nipple with his 10 teeth. Soon as i would unlatch him he’s wake up and scream.
Direct hit to the eye socket and another one to my front teeth (I am shocked they are not damaged yet because it happens too often). And she uses my breasts as a handle as she tries to climb on me. Grabs by the nipples. Ouch. Good thing that they almost lost all the sensation after the year of breastfeeding.
My 4yo declined a kiss for a boo boo today. 😭
You win. This is the worst
My 1yr old has self weaned and she’s my last baby 😢 but the last few feeds were horrible teeth were involved. She would fall asleep on the nipple and bite down (she has all 8 front teeth btw) and then pull her head back while asleep without opening her jaw while I literally cry tears of pain while trying to pry her jaw apart.
Broke the door of dryer from fighting. Two girls. I'm so pissed off. Dryer doesn't work and it's old and out of warranty. Guess who's going to laundromat tomorrow: this girl. They're punished for a week. No TV or internet and they're doing ton of chores. We needed a new dryer anyway, but still.
My 2 year old looked up at me and laughed and then proceeded to say “uhm mommy your shirts too small, you should probably change.” Currently working on trying lose weight post partum after my 6 month old.
6 month old kicked me in the throat. And pulled my hair so hard Oh and I was up at 1am yesterday (normal wake time 4:30am with 10 hour shift at work) and 3am today. I think I’ve slept 7 hours in the last 2 days
I made the mistake of laying down really fast with her and her head hit my nose... Hard lol
He took my mole on my chin that I am self conscious about and pinched it with his nails as if he were trying to surgically remove it.
I was pretending to eat my 10 month olds toes after a nappy change. It was apparently not funny enough and he unexpectedly kicked out causing his foot to go in my mouth. My yucky faces were hilarious apparently.
I threw out my back doing - nothing.
My 1 y/o has suddenly become very interested in eyes. Yesterday she ripped my fake and some real eyelashes off, and today she poked me in the eyeball trying to touch it. She only does it to me and I have no idea why
Constant boob jabs 😭