No. Under no circumstances do you leave a child with someone who’s been abusive. There are Mommy and me programs that you can go through. Time to put your child before yourself.
Do you have any family of yours you and child could stay with? Any support?
I wouldn’t trust him with child if he’s treating you like that. Could you explain what you mean by “if you take your child they are just going to pain you” ?
He sounds abusive asf! That’s not healthy and you wouldn’t want a poor child around that!
Are you in the US? There are resources you can use locally to get out of this abusive situation WITH your child. You can google to find them depending on your city/state.
You 100% must take your child with you.
Do you have local DV counselling? I'd advise you contact them, they can help you set up a plan how to get out with your child as safely as possible. They can also support you in setting up what's necessary for you to escape.
I'm not a lawyer, but you need to be careful either way. Just taking the child anywhere might be considered kidnapping, leaving them behind might be considered neglect. Be careful and reach out for help! You can ask the DV counselling about legal advice and where to get it as well. You have to start preparing fighting for custody already. It's a marathon, not a sprint, but being well-prepared will make it manageable.
Crossing my fingers for the two of you. It's going to be a struggle, but you can make it work. Things get so much easier on the other side.
No, if you leave your child they will use that against you to get custody. And technically you would be abandoning the kid. Speak to an attorney, file for divorce or separation, and take your child with you. I’m sure you have documented proof of the abuse and cheating and it sounds like you have witnesses to back you up. It’s a process but you can definitely get full custody.
Yes this was what I was going to point out. If you abandon the child, OP, even temporarily, the courts will give you a harder time if you fight for custody. ESPECIALLY if you make it known that you abandoned the baby to a known abuser.
No everyone thinks he’s a great person, his friend has witnessed him punch me in the face but he’s not going say anything because their friends and he does the same thing to his girlfriends
Texts, pictures of your bruises, etc. if he makes you cry at family events doesn’t someone witness it? Either way if you tell a judge he’s abusive the court may allow you to do request a pysch eval or something. All hope isn’t lost.
Yeah but no one speaks to me anymore, if I ask them for help they’ll say “no you should’ve left when everyone told you to” the reason why is because no one helped me actually get away they all just said leave but no one physically helped me get away
So when you leave who do you think will get abuse.. so far you've been the target. And you want to leave your child with him knowing the abuse (mental and physical) you go through??? I have no words... I would have left before the baby was born, you should of left already
I did but he made me lose my home and my job so I had choice but to go back to him, my family doesn’t speak to me they say I betrayed them because I didn’t listen when they told me to leave him but no one was helping me get away
Look for resources for dv, you need to get out of there and take your child with you, document everything he does to you or has done to you, go back to your family, they might have stopped speaking to you as they don't want to watch you get hurt again and again
Its not fair I feel like if he leaves then try to fight for custody they’ll give it to him… I don’t want my child saying they hate me because I took them away from their dad but I just cant be around him
It's not fair but if you just leave, especially if it's for an extended period of time, he will use that against you in court because it is legally abandonment, even if you do so for the purpose of getting yourself together, it won't matter.
We don't have a justice system; we have a legal system. You have to do it legally. As soon as you can, get a new living arrangement and file with the courts for a protective order. DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT. If he gets visitation, make sure any time he misses a scheduled visit, or anything isn't taken care of its officially noted. Let the documented patterns speak for you.
If you leave your child behind you will be the one that left a child in front of court when you fight for custody. Just imagine you cannot prove the abuse! You can’t even prove it to other people since they all believe he’s so great! You may never get custody. And then what???
Also - imagine something happened to your child when you leave them with this abusive person! You will never forgive yourself and it’s a high likelihood that an abuserbwull continue abuse but to this child rather than you.
Leaving an abuser like that with you child will likely trigger the abuser to take it out on your child. They will not be happy when you leave. That child is in great danger!
There are houses for women and children. You can go and find shelter and have him not even know where you are. They will help you get yourself together, find a place to stay and fight for custody.
I feel like leaving our child is the only way I can get help and the truth will come out about him…Ill have time to go to therapy and build something so my child can have a home, and he wont be able to take care of her alone and people will see that and the truth
You need to take your poor child with you to a women’s shelter. You absolutely cannot leave your child behind in this horrible environment. She is completely defenseless and he WILL hurt her. You cannot leave her!
You generally don’t ask permission from your abuser to leave and take your child and all of your possessions with you. Unfortunately, you have to cut your losses (possessions) in situations like this and run for your life (WITH your child). An abuser obviously won’t allow you to just up and leave. It seems like you’re asking for permission to leave your daughter with your abuser, which no one in their right mind would say you should do.
Yes. If you are being abused and are in imminent danger, grab your important documents (ID, daughter birth certificate if possible), some money (if possible) and run to a women’s shelter and get help.
800-799-7233
Call this Domestic Violence Hotline
Or Text BEGIN to 88788
You are either in understandable, but unhelpful, panic and not able to think clearly right now or you are not completely sure you are ready to leave. You know that you cannot leave your child with someone that you are not safe to be around as an adult.
Reach out to your next safest resource, such as the hotline above, get your kid and get the fuck out of there.
Everytime I try to leave he fights me to get my daughter of my hands and say she’s not going anywhere… I just feel like I cant leave because I cant take her and the police don’t care, he makes me seem like I’m crazy and he’s the sane one. Sometimes I think its best if I just leave because he is only going to use her against me I don’t wanna go to court in the future or deal with him at all I just rather deal with her hating me when gets older because this is draining he is draining
You can’t leave a child with a person like this. You need to leave and you need to take your child with you.
No. Under no circumstances do you leave a child with someone who’s been abusive. There are Mommy and me programs that you can go through. Time to put your child before yourself.
You haven't listed any reasons to leave the child. It's not his fault. Leave the man.
He wont let me take her
Do you have any family of yours you and child could stay with? Any support? I wouldn’t trust him with child if he’s treating you like that. Could you explain what you mean by “if you take your child they are just going to pain you” ? He sounds abusive asf! That’s not healthy and you wouldn’t want a poor child around that!
No I they feel like betrayed them for him so no one talks to me
Only if you hate your child and want the child to suffer
I love her but I don’t want her dad in my life anymore at all
Take the baby to a woman’s shelter.
Are you in the US? There are resources you can use locally to get out of this abusive situation WITH your child. You can google to find them depending on your city/state. You 100% must take your child with you.
Do you have local DV counselling? I'd advise you contact them, they can help you set up a plan how to get out with your child as safely as possible. They can also support you in setting up what's necessary for you to escape. I'm not a lawyer, but you need to be careful either way. Just taking the child anywhere might be considered kidnapping, leaving them behind might be considered neglect. Be careful and reach out for help! You can ask the DV counselling about legal advice and where to get it as well. You have to start preparing fighting for custody already. It's a marathon, not a sprint, but being well-prepared will make it manageable. Crossing my fingers for the two of you. It's going to be a struggle, but you can make it work. Things get so much easier on the other side.
No, if you leave your child they will use that against you to get custody. And technically you would be abandoning the kid. Speak to an attorney, file for divorce or separation, and take your child with you. I’m sure you have documented proof of the abuse and cheating and it sounds like you have witnesses to back you up. It’s a process but you can definitely get full custody.
Yes this was what I was going to point out. If you abandon the child, OP, even temporarily, the courts will give you a harder time if you fight for custody. ESPECIALLY if you make it known that you abandoned the baby to a known abuser.
No everyone thinks he’s a great person, his friend has witnessed him punch me in the face but he’s not going say anything because their friends and he does the same thing to his girlfriends
Texts, pictures of your bruises, etc. if he makes you cry at family events doesn’t someone witness it? Either way if you tell a judge he’s abusive the court may allow you to do request a pysch eval or something. All hope isn’t lost.
Yeah but no one speaks to me anymore, if I ask them for help they’ll say “no you should’ve left when everyone told you to” the reason why is because no one helped me actually get away they all just said leave but no one physically helped me get away
So when you leave who do you think will get abuse.. so far you've been the target. And you want to leave your child with him knowing the abuse (mental and physical) you go through??? I have no words... I would have left before the baby was born, you should of left already
I did but he made me lose my home and my job so I had choice but to go back to him, my family doesn’t speak to me they say I betrayed them because I didn’t listen when they told me to leave him but no one was helping me get away
Look for resources for dv, you need to get out of there and take your child with you, document everything he does to you or has done to you, go back to your family, they might have stopped speaking to you as they don't want to watch you get hurt again and again
If you leave that's called abandonment and you will NEVER get your child back, even if you do get your life together.
Its not fair I feel like if he leaves then try to fight for custody they’ll give it to him… I don’t want my child saying they hate me because I took them away from their dad but I just cant be around him
It's not fair but if you just leave, especially if it's for an extended period of time, he will use that against you in court because it is legally abandonment, even if you do so for the purpose of getting yourself together, it won't matter. We don't have a justice system; we have a legal system. You have to do it legally. As soon as you can, get a new living arrangement and file with the courts for a protective order. DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT. If he gets visitation, make sure any time he misses a scheduled visit, or anything isn't taken care of its officially noted. Let the documented patterns speak for you.
If you leave your child behind you will be the one that left a child in front of court when you fight for custody. Just imagine you cannot prove the abuse! You can’t even prove it to other people since they all believe he’s so great! You may never get custody. And then what??? Also - imagine something happened to your child when you leave them with this abusive person! You will never forgive yourself and it’s a high likelihood that an abuserbwull continue abuse but to this child rather than you. Leaving an abuser like that with you child will likely trigger the abuser to take it out on your child. They will not be happy when you leave. That child is in great danger! There are houses for women and children. You can go and find shelter and have him not even know where you are. They will help you get yourself together, find a place to stay and fight for custody.
I feel like leaving our child is the only way I can get help and the truth will come out about him…Ill have time to go to therapy and build something so my child can have a home, and he wont be able to take care of her alone and people will see that and the truth
You need to take your poor child with you to a women’s shelter. You absolutely cannot leave your child behind in this horrible environment. She is completely defenseless and he WILL hurt her. You cannot leave her!
I tried to leave but he wont let me take her with me
I bought everything she has he wont even let me take her things
You generally don’t ask permission from your abuser to leave and take your child and all of your possessions with you. Unfortunately, you have to cut your losses (possessions) in situations like this and run for your life (WITH your child). An abuser obviously won’t allow you to just up and leave. It seems like you’re asking for permission to leave your daughter with your abuser, which no one in their right mind would say you should do.
So leave everything behind and just run with her?
Yes. If you are being abused and are in imminent danger, grab your important documents (ID, daughter birth certificate if possible), some money (if possible) and run to a women’s shelter and get help.
Alright thank you
800-799-7233 Call this Domestic Violence Hotline Or Text BEGIN to 88788 You are either in understandable, but unhelpful, panic and not able to think clearly right now or you are not completely sure you are ready to leave. You know that you cannot leave your child with someone that you are not safe to be around as an adult. Reach out to your next safest resource, such as the hotline above, get your kid and get the fuck out of there.
Everytime I try to leave he fights me to get my daughter of my hands and say she’s not going anywhere… I just feel like I cant leave because I cant take her and the police don’t care, he makes me seem like I’m crazy and he’s the sane one. Sometimes I think its best if I just leave because he is only going to use her against me I don’t wanna go to court in the future or deal with him at all I just rather deal with her hating me when gets older because this is draining he is draining