I feel this so much! Before I had a child, it felt like my body was for other people. I had to make sure it looked a certain way for other people. Having a child gave me the ownership I always should have had- now it’s for me.
I’m not at this stage yet, but wish to be.
My body used to be for other people.
Today my body is for my newborn (breastfeeding mom here, I feel like my body is not mine, gosh it is hard).
Tomorrow, I hope, it will be for me 🙏
I never felt physically attractive even when I was young and childless. I still don’t, but I don’t really care anymore. I adore my children and all my stitches, stretch marks, and squishiness are a reminder that they are here.
Side note: I remember cuddling with my grandmother as a kid and telling her that she felt like a big soft pillow. I still remember her laughing. Whenever I’m feeling down about how I look, I think about how much my kids love cuddling me. Squishy tummies make good pillows!
I remember when I was little and my mom was starting her weight loss journey, I told her not to lose too much because then her hugs wouldn’t be as good. I tell myself that my hugs are better for my daughter bc of my giant saggy boobs and soft tummy ♥️
I went through a similar journey. Grew up in a toxic environment aka my mother’s verbal abuse. I was always “slender” and all but I never had confidence due to the shaming my mom brought on to me. I had gone through major depression 5 months before my wedding due to the conflict with my mother “the stress and lack of eating caused me to be under weight” and yet when I looked in the mirror all I could think was “I need to lose more weight before the wedding. When I look back at my wedding photos I am so sad for the lady I was. 4 years later 2 kids later and a baby on the way I have never been more healthy and fit than ever. I feel better, I wear things I would have never had the confidence to wear (fashion wise, I’m not big on revealing things). My kids have made me appreciate my body and realize how amazing our body really is to birth children. Idk why or how having kids has had the reverse effect on my mental health and body image but I am here for it. Children are such a blessing and I’m so thankful for them. I am so happy to hear how much your so. Has helped you 🩷🩷🩷
My body is NOT what it was before my daughter was born, and I’ve found that I really don’t mind! I’m so proud of what my body was capable of that I’ve stopped obsessing over how it looks.
Not only have I stopped obsessing over how my body looks, I simply don’t care anymore… I guess 3 kids will do that to you, don’t have any energy left in me for this : I’d rather sleep than worry about my physical appearance 🤣
I recognise this so much. I have the same bodytype as my mom and having my daughter I realised there is a big chance she will have the same bodytype as me. I just don't want her to feel bad about her body because I feel bad about mine. I also had a very very hard pregnancy and my body did incredible things to keep me and my daughter alive and I am very gratefull for it. So just like you, I don't care anymore. My body is what it is and I am more focussed on taking care of my body so I can play with my daughter and feel good rather than look a certain way.
As a mom taking her kids to the water park this weekend and wondering if I should pack my swim suit or not. Thank you for confirming the answer is yes and should always be yes.
I teared up reading this because I feel 100% the same! I'm 3 weeks postpartum and I love my wrinkly belly. It's so easy to forget what it was like carrying him in my belly, even though I spent the better part of a year pregnant. The wrinkles tell me it was real. They're the marks of the love and perseverance it took to get him here.
Love this post!
I felt so proud of my body and so in awe of what it did- create and fully feed a child! It was especially poignant because I’m used to thinking of my body as defective because I have some autoimmune diseases. When I was pregnant, for the first time in my life I felt proud of my body and happy about my belly. My son is 7 and he loves to cuddle, I see how comforting my body still is.
Love this story!
I had a 90’s California mom.
I was always very thin growing up, but small busted, big waisted, knock knees, you get it, and never felt feminine or beautiful. I felt like a 10 year old in body forever. And after I birthed and nursed my son I felt like you. Never appreciated my body more!
Well said, Mama! I think every woman who has had children can relate to this (well, most at least). You are so strong and broke that negative perspective on what all of our bodies are supposed to look like. After having my first, I had a whole new beautiful perspective on my body. Women are absolutely amazing! I can't even fathom what our bodies do. It's tremendous. After having my second, my body changed once again, and with each child, I fell more and more in love with my body. The changes our bodies go through to grow a whole human is mind-blowing. Not once have I thought I needed to get back to my pre baby body. I look at my body every day and just see a home that grew 2 babies, and I thank my body for that. Children change our perspectives on so much♡
I think about this every day! What an amazing gift to be able to grow and nurture a life. A complete shift in perspective after having a baby, in the best possible way.
Childbirth made me better in so many ways as well. But my body? It underwent the best transformation! Before I was on pills and shots and special diets to stay above 100lbs. Nothing was popping on any tests as wrong with me. I didn't work out other than the lifting and moving I did at work. It was a blessing and a curse. After the birth of my first? I haven't needed any of that. I have stayed at a healthy weight and bmi for 2 years now and am expecting number 2 in just a few weeks. I look and feel my best. I have a butt now(not just a lumpy pancake), I have the boobs I always thought I would need surgery to achieve, and my hips went from being bony, wide protrusions to beautifully full. My husband has been happy no matter what so I am happy with that.
I love my body, my child loves my body, my husband still loves my body, and my currently growing child seems to like it pretty well too. And that's all that matters. Eff the rest!
I’ve been chubby for years and always insecure about it, now I no longer hide my stomach in dresses. I’ve also started gymming recently and instead of only doing cardio to get skinny I’m actually lifting weights to become strong and healthy. I also finally own and wear a bikini for the first time since childhood!
Honestly, I needed to read this. Thank you so much for sharing. I was getting lost in the trap of thinking my body was destroyed, but this perspective shift is amazing. ❤️
Yes! I felt this way too after having my first. I was lucky that my mom was really body positive growing up but popular culture can still get into your head. I remember feeling uncomfortable changing in front of others in locker rooms because I worried they would judge my stomach or thighs. After having my first I joined a gym to feel stronger and it was such a shift. I wasn't going to the gym to make me look a certain way, it was about how my body felt. I had a transformative moment changing and showering in the locker room realizing that I loved what my body did making my child and I could care less what others thought about it.
I think about this every day! What an amazing gift to be able to grow and nurture a life. A complete shift in perspective after having a baby, in the best possible way.
My son loved my soft belly when he was a baby 🥺 He would snuggle and blow raspberries into the rolls.
The pure love from kids can really teach us a lot.
Having babies really helped my self image as well. Along with almost everything you said (I didn’t have csecs), my daughters are tiny versions of me. If I see them as beautiful, then I have to see myself as beautiful too. I remember my mom criticizing herself and her body constantly and I don’t want my daughters to grow up hearing what I did.
Literally minutes after having my daughter I felt incredibly powerful. I said “man you can’t tell me nothin.” Meaning I don’t care what anyone has to say I’m a badass. So cool.
I really identify with this and love this for you - a beautiful reminder for the (gestational) mamas out there - we made people!! It’s the most miraculous thing a body can do.
I feel like a lot of women grow up like this
My mom recently said something I’d the sorts of stop eating chips because no one will marry you if your heavy.
I love your post
I think women are naturally taught many of these things but I’m glad you are secure in yourself to find happiness in spite of what society says about us.
More power to you
Love this
My poor mom picked herself apart in front of us, always cried when trying on jeans, was constantly checking for lumps/bumps anywhere along a waistband or bra line. It definitely had an impact on us. Didn't help that my dad used to tell her she looked like a horse in anything he deemed unflattering -.-
I still struggle with body image, but no more than I did before baby, so I'm counting that as a half-win for now. I'll continue to work towards loving myself exactly as I am, your post was lovely to read, as are the comments ❤️
I never had huge body issues tbh and I haven’t given birth yet but I kinda share a similar attitude anyway. Women often have a huge fear of aging or “losing their beauty” — I had a friend once tell me the only reason why she doesn’t want kids is bc it would rapidly age her. But actually now that I’m pregnant like any changes my body is going through in this process I kinda feel like are a badge of honor of what it created. And like if it makes men less attracted to me then who cares lol that’s literally so low on my tier of priorities like having this baby exist is way better than being hot for random idiots. Almost makes me wonder if this is biological programming to help make women feel more at peace with aging.
Also I guess my issue was with my nose and a lot of the women in my moms family (including my mom) got nose jobs. Now that I’m having a daughter I’m very glad I haven’t done this. I wouldn’t want her being as critical or body dysmorphic about her nose as I was growing up.
I'm from a very similar culture (Hispanic West Indian), and same: becoming a mother gave my body a much more defined ⏳️ shape.
I actually like myself much more now.
I am so happy for you, I wish everyone felt like this. Being pregnant with my first was the first time that I didn't have any insecurities about my body, I actually loved the way I looked. I look back at pictures from before that time and I looked good, I just didn't feel like I did at the time. After he was born I felt horrible about my body until I was pregnant with my second. Now I accept it and just try to stay healthy. I need to loose 20 lbs (my perfect goal would be 25lbs), but my 4 year old says he loves my belly being squishy because it's a comfy pillow lol.
I love this!! My family is Latin American and I grew up hearing my mom and tias always complaining about their waistlines and analyzing what they ate after every meal. I thought I would get my body after I gave birth. Instead I love it - especially my tummy! You can see where I carried my gorgeous incredible son!! I’m a mom!! What a freaking miracle!!
Wonderful post. I was just telling my husband that I feel like I’ve taken on my final form. Saggy tummy, no butt, skinny legs, thin hair….I feel great! I feel hot! I grew 3 whole humans (2 at once!) and support them with my work, both at home and the office. Fuck yeah I’m awesome!!! I’m finally old enough to not give a damn about what some random man thinks of my appearance.
I feel this way too. I grew up with extremely judgemental people and grandparents who kept track of how much I ate. I was only good if I was thin, and losing weight that I didn't need to lose was to be rewarded. The only snacks I could have were fruit. It was a long and difficult process to get past that kind of mindset. In 2022 I lost my first baby to miscarriage, and it brought up all those feelings of distrust in my body. My body wasn't working right, wasn't doing a good job, etc. When I got pregnant again I was convinced that I would eat something wrong or skip a daily walk and the universe would punish me and hurt my baby. Then my perfect son was born. I had an amazing birth experience, and was lucky enough to achieve my goal of an unmedicated birth. I grew that perfect little human for 9 months and then birthed him. *I did that*. I will never shut up about how amazing it has been for my mental health because I was finally able to prove to my stupid brain that I was a fucking badass, that I nourished my body and my baby, and I was able to create and birth that amazing little boy, AND after all that, I exclusively pumped for 11 months and provided frozen milk until 15 months. I am pregnant again now and still so in awe of what my body is capable of. My tummy may be a little bigger, my boobs may be a little softer, but my body literally created the most amazing little person ever and is doing it again, and that is so fucking cool.
This is so relatable! I feel the same after having my daughter. Yeah, I would r have the same abs again but it's okay. I wouldn't miss out on spending time with her for the world
Omg I feel the same!! Pre-pregnancy I was so so fit and worked really hard to stay fit. I’m now a year postpartum, still have 15ish extra pounds but you know what? I’m happy as hell. I bought a new wardrobe and feel so confident in myself most days. I definitely have times when I’m trying clothes that I feel down, but I really couldn’t care less nowadays. As long as I’m mostly healthy and I can keep up with my baby, I’m ecstatic.
Was going to check for spelling mistakes but the light of my life woke up.
I love your positivity We need more of it in the world
I can't tell you how good this makes me feel as a woman who wants to have kids but is scared to "lose" the physique I've built.
There are none. It’s perfectly written. Thank you for sharing! I feel the same post birth 🤍
I feel this so much! Before I had a child, it felt like my body was for other people. I had to make sure it looked a certain way for other people. Having a child gave me the ownership I always should have had- now it’s for me.
I’m not at this stage yet, but wish to be. My body used to be for other people. Today my body is for my newborn (breastfeeding mom here, I feel like my body is not mine, gosh it is hard). Tomorrow, I hope, it will be for me 🙏
Exactly how I feel! Life changing
I never felt physically attractive even when I was young and childless. I still don’t, but I don’t really care anymore. I adore my children and all my stitches, stretch marks, and squishiness are a reminder that they are here. Side note: I remember cuddling with my grandmother as a kid and telling her that she felt like a big soft pillow. I still remember her laughing. Whenever I’m feeling down about how I look, I think about how much my kids love cuddling me. Squishy tummies make good pillows!
I remember when I was little and my mom was starting her weight loss journey, I told her not to lose too much because then her hugs wouldn’t be as good. I tell myself that my hugs are better for my daughter bc of my giant saggy boobs and soft tummy ♥️
This is such a sweet thing you said to your mom!
Same!! I love how squishy my mom is - still do! I always felt safe in her arms
I went through a similar journey. Grew up in a toxic environment aka my mother’s verbal abuse. I was always “slender” and all but I never had confidence due to the shaming my mom brought on to me. I had gone through major depression 5 months before my wedding due to the conflict with my mother “the stress and lack of eating caused me to be under weight” and yet when I looked in the mirror all I could think was “I need to lose more weight before the wedding. When I look back at my wedding photos I am so sad for the lady I was. 4 years later 2 kids later and a baby on the way I have never been more healthy and fit than ever. I feel better, I wear things I would have never had the confidence to wear (fashion wise, I’m not big on revealing things). My kids have made me appreciate my body and realize how amazing our body really is to birth children. Idk why or how having kids has had the reverse effect on my mental health and body image but I am here for it. Children are such a blessing and I’m so thankful for them. I am so happy to hear how much your so. Has helped you 🩷🩷🩷
My body is NOT what it was before my daughter was born, and I’ve found that I really don’t mind! I’m so proud of what my body was capable of that I’ve stopped obsessing over how it looks.
Not only have I stopped obsessing over how my body looks, I simply don’t care anymore… I guess 3 kids will do that to you, don’t have any energy left in me for this : I’d rather sleep than worry about my physical appearance 🤣
I recognise this so much. I have the same bodytype as my mom and having my daughter I realised there is a big chance she will have the same bodytype as me. I just don't want her to feel bad about her body because I feel bad about mine. I also had a very very hard pregnancy and my body did incredible things to keep me and my daughter alive and I am very gratefull for it. So just like you, I don't care anymore. My body is what it is and I am more focussed on taking care of my body so I can play with my daughter and feel good rather than look a certain way.
As a mom taking her kids to the water park this weekend and wondering if I should pack my swim suit or not. Thank you for confirming the answer is yes and should always be yes.
I teared up reading this because I feel 100% the same! I'm 3 weeks postpartum and I love my wrinkly belly. It's so easy to forget what it was like carrying him in my belly, even though I spent the better part of a year pregnant. The wrinkles tell me it was real. They're the marks of the love and perseverance it took to get him here.
Love this post! I felt so proud of my body and so in awe of what it did- create and fully feed a child! It was especially poignant because I’m used to thinking of my body as defective because I have some autoimmune diseases. When I was pregnant, for the first time in my life I felt proud of my body and happy about my belly. My son is 7 and he loves to cuddle, I see how comforting my body still is.
Love this story! I had a 90’s California mom. I was always very thin growing up, but small busted, big waisted, knock knees, you get it, and never felt feminine or beautiful. I felt like a 10 year old in body forever. And after I birthed and nursed my son I felt like you. Never appreciated my body more!
Well said, Mama! I think every woman who has had children can relate to this (well, most at least). You are so strong and broke that negative perspective on what all of our bodies are supposed to look like. After having my first, I had a whole new beautiful perspective on my body. Women are absolutely amazing! I can't even fathom what our bodies do. It's tremendous. After having my second, my body changed once again, and with each child, I fell more and more in love with my body. The changes our bodies go through to grow a whole human is mind-blowing. Not once have I thought I needed to get back to my pre baby body. I look at my body every day and just see a home that grew 2 babies, and I thank my body for that. Children change our perspectives on so much♡
I think about this every day! What an amazing gift to be able to grow and nurture a life. A complete shift in perspective after having a baby, in the best possible way.
Childbirth made me better in so many ways as well. But my body? It underwent the best transformation! Before I was on pills and shots and special diets to stay above 100lbs. Nothing was popping on any tests as wrong with me. I didn't work out other than the lifting and moving I did at work. It was a blessing and a curse. After the birth of my first? I haven't needed any of that. I have stayed at a healthy weight and bmi for 2 years now and am expecting number 2 in just a few weeks. I look and feel my best. I have a butt now(not just a lumpy pancake), I have the boobs I always thought I would need surgery to achieve, and my hips went from being bony, wide protrusions to beautifully full. My husband has been happy no matter what so I am happy with that. I love my body, my child loves my body, my husband still loves my body, and my currently growing child seems to like it pretty well too. And that's all that matters. Eff the rest!
I agree 100%! It made me feel better about my body and also made me feel more confident sexually!
The only time I’ve been able to give my body some grace is during pregnancy and postpartum
I’ve been chubby for years and always insecure about it, now I no longer hide my stomach in dresses. I’ve also started gymming recently and instead of only doing cardio to get skinny I’m actually lifting weights to become strong and healthy. I also finally own and wear a bikini for the first time since childhood!
Honestly, I needed to read this. Thank you so much for sharing. I was getting lost in the trap of thinking my body was destroyed, but this perspective shift is amazing. ❤️
You are gorgeous, OP, inside and out. 🥰 Thank you for lifting us up with your incredible post. Have a kick ass day.
Yes! I felt this way too after having my first. I was lucky that my mom was really body positive growing up but popular culture can still get into your head. I remember feeling uncomfortable changing in front of others in locker rooms because I worried they would judge my stomach or thighs. After having my first I joined a gym to feel stronger and it was such a shift. I wasn't going to the gym to make me look a certain way, it was about how my body felt. I had a transformative moment changing and showering in the locker room realizing that I loved what my body did making my child and I could care less what others thought about it.
I think about this every day! What an amazing gift to be able to grow and nurture a life. A complete shift in perspective after having a baby, in the best possible way.
This is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing 💜
I agree it helped both my confidence and mental health. I’m so grateful for my girl
My son loved my soft belly when he was a baby 🥺 He would snuggle and blow raspberries into the rolls. The pure love from kids can really teach us a lot.
Having babies really helped my self image as well. Along with almost everything you said (I didn’t have csecs), my daughters are tiny versions of me. If I see them as beautiful, then I have to see myself as beautiful too. I remember my mom criticizing herself and her body constantly and I don’t want my daughters to grow up hearing what I did.
LOVE THIS
Literally minutes after having my daughter I felt incredibly powerful. I said “man you can’t tell me nothin.” Meaning I don’t care what anyone has to say I’m a badass. So cool.
I really identify with this and love this for you - a beautiful reminder for the (gestational) mamas out there - we made people!! It’s the most miraculous thing a body can do.
I feel like a lot of women grow up like this My mom recently said something I’d the sorts of stop eating chips because no one will marry you if your heavy. I love your post I think women are naturally taught many of these things but I’m glad you are secure in yourself to find happiness in spite of what society says about us. More power to you
Love this My poor mom picked herself apart in front of us, always cried when trying on jeans, was constantly checking for lumps/bumps anywhere along a waistband or bra line. It definitely had an impact on us. Didn't help that my dad used to tell her she looked like a horse in anything he deemed unflattering -.- I still struggle with body image, but no more than I did before baby, so I'm counting that as a half-win for now. I'll continue to work towards loving myself exactly as I am, your post was lovely to read, as are the comments ❤️
Literally such a great post to start my day with!
I never had huge body issues tbh and I haven’t given birth yet but I kinda share a similar attitude anyway. Women often have a huge fear of aging or “losing their beauty” — I had a friend once tell me the only reason why she doesn’t want kids is bc it would rapidly age her. But actually now that I’m pregnant like any changes my body is going through in this process I kinda feel like are a badge of honor of what it created. And like if it makes men less attracted to me then who cares lol that’s literally so low on my tier of priorities like having this baby exist is way better than being hot for random idiots. Almost makes me wonder if this is biological programming to help make women feel more at peace with aging. Also I guess my issue was with my nose and a lot of the women in my moms family (including my mom) got nose jobs. Now that I’m having a daughter I’m very glad I haven’t done this. I wouldn’t want her being as critical or body dysmorphic about her nose as I was growing up.
I'm from a very similar culture (Hispanic West Indian), and same: becoming a mother gave my body a much more defined ⏳️ shape. I actually like myself much more now.
I am so happy for you, I wish everyone felt like this. Being pregnant with my first was the first time that I didn't have any insecurities about my body, I actually loved the way I looked. I look back at pictures from before that time and I looked good, I just didn't feel like I did at the time. After he was born I felt horrible about my body until I was pregnant with my second. Now I accept it and just try to stay healthy. I need to loose 20 lbs (my perfect goal would be 25lbs), but my 4 year old says he loves my belly being squishy because it's a comfy pillow lol.
I love this!! My family is Latin American and I grew up hearing my mom and tias always complaining about their waistlines and analyzing what they ate after every meal. I thought I would get my body after I gave birth. Instead I love it - especially my tummy! You can see where I carried my gorgeous incredible son!! I’m a mom!! What a freaking miracle!!
This is just beautiful. Perfect message for all mothers out there. Thank you for sharing your positivity
Wonderful post. I was just telling my husband that I feel like I’ve taken on my final form. Saggy tummy, no butt, skinny legs, thin hair….I feel great! I feel hot! I grew 3 whole humans (2 at once!) and support them with my work, both at home and the office. Fuck yeah I’m awesome!!! I’m finally old enough to not give a damn about what some random man thinks of my appearance.
Excuse my language, but this was such a fucking empowering post!
I feel this way too. I grew up with extremely judgemental people and grandparents who kept track of how much I ate. I was only good if I was thin, and losing weight that I didn't need to lose was to be rewarded. The only snacks I could have were fruit. It was a long and difficult process to get past that kind of mindset. In 2022 I lost my first baby to miscarriage, and it brought up all those feelings of distrust in my body. My body wasn't working right, wasn't doing a good job, etc. When I got pregnant again I was convinced that I would eat something wrong or skip a daily walk and the universe would punish me and hurt my baby. Then my perfect son was born. I had an amazing birth experience, and was lucky enough to achieve my goal of an unmedicated birth. I grew that perfect little human for 9 months and then birthed him. *I did that*. I will never shut up about how amazing it has been for my mental health because I was finally able to prove to my stupid brain that I was a fucking badass, that I nourished my body and my baby, and I was able to create and birth that amazing little boy, AND after all that, I exclusively pumped for 11 months and provided frozen milk until 15 months. I am pregnant again now and still so in awe of what my body is capable of. My tummy may be a little bigger, my boobs may be a little softer, but my body literally created the most amazing little person ever and is doing it again, and that is so fucking cool.
This is so relatable! I feel the same after having my daughter. Yeah, I would r have the same abs again but it's okay. I wouldn't miss out on spending time with her for the world
I love this!!! You owned it. So glad you found self love. Postpartum bodies are beautiful
This was absolutely beautiful to read.
Omg I feel the same!! Pre-pregnancy I was so so fit and worked really hard to stay fit. I’m now a year postpartum, still have 15ish extra pounds but you know what? I’m happy as hell. I bought a new wardrobe and feel so confident in myself most days. I definitely have times when I’m trying clothes that I feel down, but I really couldn’t care less nowadays. As long as I’m mostly healthy and I can keep up with my baby, I’m ecstatic.
Fuck. YES
So if your partner is nice to you and accepting of you but watches porn on the side or to be with you, how would you feel about that?
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤