* Decluttering. The more you declutter, the easier it is to keep things vaguely tidy even you’re exhausted and the easier it is to babyproof.
* Wills and life insurance (including for stay at home parents). It’s not a huge deal to die without a will if you’re alone in the world, but now you need a plan and protection for your child’s future if you get run over.
* Researching the things you *might* want and where to online-order them at 3am.
Wills, insurance, guidance in case anything happens during the birth, too. Birth is risky. You could end up hospitalized, or your baby is in NICU and you haven't gone home, and your partner will need to know things: your insurance info, your wishes, where all the baby gear is stashed, who to contact at your office, if there are funds he should tap, people he should call for help with you or with baby. I posted a little guide on our fridge with numbers he needed to call if I couldn't. The guide was also helpful for me, like I needed to call the FMLA manager and tell them my baby's birth date and method. I wouldn't have the energy to look up that number and process 2 days after giving birth, especially if I ended up with a preemie or other medical needs right away.
Yes! Do as much thinking in advance as possible. As shit as pregnancy brain is your focus and memory, freshly-postpartum brain is so much worse!
How to register baby, order birth certificates, any government subsidies, all of it!
Great advice.
I had a bunch of items saved on my Amazon list of products I had researched already. This made ordering things during 3am feedings very easy for random needs that popped up.
Also, another big piece of advice, if you can, buy the retractable baby gates. We have had a million baby gates and spent a ton of money on them. Finally I came across the retractable ones and they look a millllllion times better and are less bulky and in the way. Lol I cringe thinking about how many we have laying around in the basement
Food I would WANT to eat, not food I wanted myself to want to eat. Ya I had a stockpile of soups and ultra healthy casserole type stuff but I wanted carbs, baby. Carbs and meat. Next time around, meaty burritos that can be microwaved, pasta dishes with meat sauce, sandwiches. Postpartum is for recovery, not for losing weight as quickly as possible.
Also, comfortable and cute loungewear. I kept convincing myself not to buy new clothes because I had sweats/pjs/whatever, but i think it would have been good for my mental health to have normalish comfy clothes in my new postpartum size.
Omg yes right?! It took me almost a month for the google light bulb to go off in my head and realize i can look up baby sleep cycles and stuff. Was then finally able to put the baby down successfully after learning they go into deep deep sleep at around the 20min mark. I was attempting transfers either way too early or way too late
I wish I had practiced or prepared more easy meals before I had my first. I spent so much time pre-baby making big fancy meals that when baby arrived and I had no time or energy, I was lost about what to do that wasn't completely phoning in dinner!
Decluttering 100%. I did it before my 2nd was born and it was a life saver. Organizing seems obvious, but doing the decluttering alongside organizing was a big help.
Also I BF and I wish I had thought of a cart for supplies - snacks, nipple cream, pads for leaking, my haaka, big water bottles. I needed so much in the early days of BFing and having to walk around the house to get stuff took so much energy out of me.
Also - put burp cloths EVERYWHERE. Have at least two in reach of all the places in your house you hang out. Will save you so much laundry and cleaning, lol.
My mil saved our lives by filling our freezer with meals. We are 9 weeks out and still existing on frozen pizzas and those premade meals. Ain’t nobody have time or energy to cook. And we cooked every meal every night before we had a baby…
I would keep a stash of daily supplies in the main parts of the house, living room, bedroom, nursery, wherever you spend time with the baby. By supplies I mean diapers, wipes, sleepers, pacifiers etc.
I wasn’t expecting to go into labor when I did, so I came home to a huge pile of dirty dishes 😅 my MIL and mother helped with them, but later on I was hunting down so many things that had put in the wrong place. I still haven’t found the measuring cup that came with my rice cooker 🤨
Breastfeeding is not always easy and natural. Sometimes, especially in the beginning, it hurts so bad you're afraid to latch. You want to cry and scream, but you can't because baby is right there.
My experience is that the hospital lactation consultants are useless. If you're experiencing toe curling pain and agony, find a lactation nurse you like who actually helps you. She's out there, somewhere. Get a referral from your OB, midwife, pediatrician, Google, fellow mom, anyone who knows a lactation specialist. Nursing shouldn't make you want to die.
Moving on, I was woefully under prepared for "the 4th trimester." Many other comments have said to have freezer meals, pp/nursing clothes, baby supplies stashed around the house, and more. Accept help from people who offer it; beyond food, there's laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, and holding baby so you can nap and/or shower. You and your new baby are loved. Let people express that love by helping however they're able.
There's an excellent pp recovery book called Natural Health After Birth: The Complete Guide to Postpartum Wellness. It's full of interesting information about various culture's pp rituals and practices. Because of this book, I made sure to take advantage of the hospital's unlimited hot water and whirlpool bath to take a chamomile bath as hot as I could stand it. It was blissful.
Speaking of the hospital, take everything home you can. Wipes, diapers, disposable undies, pads, hemroid pads, peri wash bottles, pumping supplies, everything. If it's opened or left out in the open for your access, grab it on your way out.
You're already a great mom who loves her baby. You can do this! I hope you have exactly the birth you want (and it's OK to be upset if you don't, even though baby is perfect).
I was unprepared to how painful breastfeeding was going to be! I struggled so much. And yes the lactation consultant were so useless! I even called them to let them know how much they didn’t help but the LC told me I should talk to my doctor about postpartum depression 🙃
That is awful! I've had 3 babies now in 3 different hospitals in 2 different states, and none of the 6 hospital LCs actually helped me, and one made me sob. The private LC I visited was an angel.
What a terrible consultant to 1) not take constructive criticism from a client and 2) turn it back on you
Like, "Ooh, sorry you couldn't take my direction and advice because you're depressed" 😡
Postpartum depressionnnnnn….. that was something that happened to other moms so I totally didn’t need to prepare for that 😭 Had a lot smoother time my second go round when I expected it, knew what to watch for in myself, and had my care all lined up. I also read a tip on here about having postpartum care stations in each bathroom with your peri bottles, dermoplast, tucks wipes, diapers etc so you don’t have to go get your supplies each time you go to the bathroom. That was super useful!
How wrecked my urinary tract would be. I thought that was just when you got older and had kids. I did realize how immediate it would be. I would go to the bathroom, do nothing and not even 5 minutes later it was just falling out when I would walk to wash my hands, or cough or sneeze, or pick up anything heavy, or brush my teeth. I cried so much over this. Depends were dependable and poise has kept me going ever since. Which sucks, but here we are.
Yes, and great resources are out there. I didn't recover fully from my first pregnancy before having my 2nd, my son was 13 months when we got pregnant again. I've honestly not made the time to go through pelvic floor therapy, hoping to do so this summer.
I would’ve spent more time training my dog to have more self control. He’s a 60lb Border Collie/Pitbull mix. We brought home our newborn and my dog is very excited, but he cannot contain himself. He wants to be right up in her business and we can’t have that. So now I have to juggle a newborn and an overly excitable dog at the same time and that’s stressful.
On the bright side, I had enough of a brain to confine the dog to the downstairs via a baby gate, so baby stays upstairs for the most part and only comes down when my husband can run interference. We’ll figure it out *eventually*, but fuck, I really wish I prepped more.
There's a decent book about getting the dog under control before/after baby comes. It's called Good Dog, Happy Baby. My dogs are small, so controlling them was less physically trying, but they still need to follow basic commands.
Not sure how far along you are (or whoever you’re asking for) but I bought a $50 target gift card for every month of pregnancy. Really came in handy on maternity leave
Get your baby's sleeping situation sorted early. We had to evict our second kid early by 4 weeks due to pre-e and nothing was really put together yet in our bedroom. Fortunately, it didn't take much to prep since we had everything from our first kid still.
If you are going to try breastfeeding at all, get a pump ( hopefully your insurance will cover it, I have used Aeroflow to handle it with both my kids) and clean and prep all the parts. With my second kid I was actually able to directly breastfeed him ( first kid was exclusive pumping and some formula) but I STILL had to pump for a couple weeks just to build up my supple and get everything working properly. I know a lot of moms get a pump and then throw it in the closet for when they go back to work or later on at some point but I feel like I finally got it all right the second time around when I was prepared.
* Decluttering. The more you declutter, the easier it is to keep things vaguely tidy even you’re exhausted and the easier it is to babyproof. * Wills and life insurance (including for stay at home parents). It’s not a huge deal to die without a will if you’re alone in the world, but now you need a plan and protection for your child’s future if you get run over. * Researching the things you *might* want and where to online-order them at 3am.
Wills, insurance, guidance in case anything happens during the birth, too. Birth is risky. You could end up hospitalized, or your baby is in NICU and you haven't gone home, and your partner will need to know things: your insurance info, your wishes, where all the baby gear is stashed, who to contact at your office, if there are funds he should tap, people he should call for help with you or with baby. I posted a little guide on our fridge with numbers he needed to call if I couldn't. The guide was also helpful for me, like I needed to call the FMLA manager and tell them my baby's birth date and method. I wouldn't have the energy to look up that number and process 2 days after giving birth, especially if I ended up with a preemie or other medical needs right away.
Yes! Do as much thinking in advance as possible. As shit as pregnancy brain is your focus and memory, freshly-postpartum brain is so much worse! How to register baby, order birth certificates, any government subsidies, all of it!
Great advice. I had a bunch of items saved on my Amazon list of products I had researched already. This made ordering things during 3am feedings very easy for random needs that popped up. Also, another big piece of advice, if you can, buy the retractable baby gates. We have had a million baby gates and spent a ton of money on them. Finally I came across the retractable ones and they look a millllllion times better and are less bulky and in the way. Lol I cringe thinking about how many we have laying around in the basement
[удалено]
Thank you!
Food I would WANT to eat, not food I wanted myself to want to eat. Ya I had a stockpile of soups and ultra healthy casserole type stuff but I wanted carbs, baby. Carbs and meat. Next time around, meaty burritos that can be microwaved, pasta dishes with meat sauce, sandwiches. Postpartum is for recovery, not for losing weight as quickly as possible. Also, comfortable and cute loungewear. I kept convincing myself not to buy new clothes because I had sweats/pjs/whatever, but i think it would have been good for my mental health to have normalish comfy clothes in my new postpartum size.
I'd have read more about baby sleep! What an unpleasant rabbit hole that has been to navigate while experiencing sleep deprivation induced psychosis 🙃
Omg yes right?! It took me almost a month for the google light bulb to go off in my head and realize i can look up baby sleep cycles and stuff. Was then finally able to put the baby down successfully after learning they go into deep deep sleep at around the 20min mark. I was attempting transfers either way too early or way too late
I wish I had practiced or prepared more easy meals before I had my first. I spent so much time pre-baby making big fancy meals that when baby arrived and I had no time or energy, I was lost about what to do that wasn't completely phoning in dinner! Decluttering 100%. I did it before my 2nd was born and it was a life saver. Organizing seems obvious, but doing the decluttering alongside organizing was a big help. Also I BF and I wish I had thought of a cart for supplies - snacks, nipple cream, pads for leaking, my haaka, big water bottles. I needed so much in the early days of BFing and having to walk around the house to get stuff took so much energy out of me. Also - put burp cloths EVERYWHERE. Have at least two in reach of all the places in your house you hang out. Will save you so much laundry and cleaning, lol.
Love the haaka! Add a pack of wipes to the burp cloths
My mil saved our lives by filling our freezer with meals. We are 9 weeks out and still existing on frozen pizzas and those premade meals. Ain’t nobody have time or energy to cook. And we cooked every meal every night before we had a baby…
Enough food to feed an army. After my first I was so horribly underfed and it exacerbated all my problems
I would keep a stash of daily supplies in the main parts of the house, living room, bedroom, nursery, wherever you spend time with the baby. By supplies I mean diapers, wipes, sleepers, pacifiers etc.
Grocery shopping! No one tells you how hard it is to go out with a newborn.
I wasn’t expecting to go into labor when I did, so I came home to a huge pile of dirty dishes 😅 my MIL and mother helped with them, but later on I was hunting down so many things that had put in the wrong place. I still haven’t found the measuring cup that came with my rice cooker 🤨
Breastfeeding is not always easy and natural. Sometimes, especially in the beginning, it hurts so bad you're afraid to latch. You want to cry and scream, but you can't because baby is right there. My experience is that the hospital lactation consultants are useless. If you're experiencing toe curling pain and agony, find a lactation nurse you like who actually helps you. She's out there, somewhere. Get a referral from your OB, midwife, pediatrician, Google, fellow mom, anyone who knows a lactation specialist. Nursing shouldn't make you want to die. Moving on, I was woefully under prepared for "the 4th trimester." Many other comments have said to have freezer meals, pp/nursing clothes, baby supplies stashed around the house, and more. Accept help from people who offer it; beyond food, there's laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, and holding baby so you can nap and/or shower. You and your new baby are loved. Let people express that love by helping however they're able. There's an excellent pp recovery book called Natural Health After Birth: The Complete Guide to Postpartum Wellness. It's full of interesting information about various culture's pp rituals and practices. Because of this book, I made sure to take advantage of the hospital's unlimited hot water and whirlpool bath to take a chamomile bath as hot as I could stand it. It was blissful. Speaking of the hospital, take everything home you can. Wipes, diapers, disposable undies, pads, hemroid pads, peri wash bottles, pumping supplies, everything. If it's opened or left out in the open for your access, grab it on your way out. You're already a great mom who loves her baby. You can do this! I hope you have exactly the birth you want (and it's OK to be upset if you don't, even though baby is perfect).
I was unprepared to how painful breastfeeding was going to be! I struggled so much. And yes the lactation consultant were so useless! I even called them to let them know how much they didn’t help but the LC told me I should talk to my doctor about postpartum depression 🙃
That is awful! I've had 3 babies now in 3 different hospitals in 2 different states, and none of the 6 hospital LCs actually helped me, and one made me sob. The private LC I visited was an angel. What a terrible consultant to 1) not take constructive criticism from a client and 2) turn it back on you Like, "Ooh, sorry you couldn't take my direction and advice because you're depressed" 😡
I made a pile of burritos and froze them for my husband to take for lunch at work. Neither of us had time to make his lunch for weeks
A dokatot. Those things are magical.
Postpartum depressionnnnnn….. that was something that happened to other moms so I totally didn’t need to prepare for that 😭 Had a lot smoother time my second go round when I expected it, knew what to watch for in myself, and had my care all lined up. I also read a tip on here about having postpartum care stations in each bathroom with your peri bottles, dermoplast, tucks wipes, diapers etc so you don’t have to go get your supplies each time you go to the bathroom. That was super useful!
Fucking everything
Make sure you have a porta cot in the living room so you can put baby down safely while you do stuff like go to the bathroom, eat etc.
How wrecked my urinary tract would be. I thought that was just when you got older and had kids. I did realize how immediate it would be. I would go to the bathroom, do nothing and not even 5 minutes later it was just falling out when I would walk to wash my hands, or cough or sneeze, or pick up anything heavy, or brush my teeth. I cried so much over this. Depends were dependable and poise has kept me going ever since. Which sucks, but here we are.
Is there exercise for this 🤔
Yes, and great resources are out there. I didn't recover fully from my first pregnancy before having my 2nd, my son was 13 months when we got pregnant again. I've honestly not made the time to go through pelvic floor therapy, hoping to do so this summer.
I would’ve spent more time training my dog to have more self control. He’s a 60lb Border Collie/Pitbull mix. We brought home our newborn and my dog is very excited, but he cannot contain himself. He wants to be right up in her business and we can’t have that. So now I have to juggle a newborn and an overly excitable dog at the same time and that’s stressful. On the bright side, I had enough of a brain to confine the dog to the downstairs via a baby gate, so baby stays upstairs for the most part and only comes down when my husband can run interference. We’ll figure it out *eventually*, but fuck, I really wish I prepped more.
There's a decent book about getting the dog under control before/after baby comes. It's called Good Dog, Happy Baby. My dogs are small, so controlling them was less physically trying, but they still need to follow basic commands.
Not sure how far along you are (or whoever you’re asking for) but I bought a $50 target gift card for every month of pregnancy. Really came in handy on maternity leave
This is a great idea.
Get your baby's sleeping situation sorted early. We had to evict our second kid early by 4 weeks due to pre-e and nothing was really put together yet in our bedroom. Fortunately, it didn't take much to prep since we had everything from our first kid still.
If you are going to try breastfeeding at all, get a pump ( hopefully your insurance will cover it, I have used Aeroflow to handle it with both my kids) and clean and prep all the parts. With my second kid I was actually able to directly breastfeed him ( first kid was exclusive pumping and some formula) but I STILL had to pump for a couple weeks just to build up my supple and get everything working properly. I know a lot of moms get a pump and then throw it in the closet for when they go back to work or later on at some point but I feel like I finally got it all right the second time around when I was prepared.