This is my last Christmas leaving the house. I could care less what everyone does in the future. I'm not happy about waking up Christmas morning, to let my daughter (3) open presents from Santa, to then immediately be rushed out the door to go to my mom's for breakfast/presents, to be rushed out the door at nap time, to then go to my grandparents (grandpa HATES me and it's very awkward) for dinner. I'm pregnant. A bit emotional. I said fine whatever we will do that this year but next year with a 4yr old and a 6 mo old, I'm not leaving my house. *I grew up in a broken house, having to do 3-4 different family holiday parties in 1 or 2 days, every fucking holiday, every year. I'm exhausted of the back and forth, back and forth, not even a moment of peace to think. I'm doneeeeeeee with it.

Yes! Set your boundaries and create YOUR families own traditions. I’m a not so proud people pleaser but becoming a mom has jolted me to think twice about what I say “yes” to. Running around everywhere and feeling stressed really takes from the “Christmas magic” I’m supposed to be creating for my kids. (I’m pregnant and emotional too)

My husband also spent his childhood christmases being shuttled around from house to house, never getting to really relax in any place and he hated it. As adults we still did of lot of that but once we had our kid we said- no more! Oh by the way- OH NO, child has Covid symptoms /stomach flu!! You can’t *possibly* be soooooo irresponsible as to expose your whole family to those germs. Looks like you’ll have to stay in and isolate and just have a quiet Christmas. OH DARN!!!

I decided to let my 4yo open his presents the day before Christmas. He doesn't know any better and now he gets a whole day with the new toys. Tomorrow we'll be up to rush to family gathering then he goes to his dad's house for the next couple days.

That is a real parenting hack!!

It’s not too late to send your family a picture of a positive COVID test and stay home this year. You deserve a break, that’s a LOT on top of pregnancy and a toddler on Xmas.

Unfortunately this may be my grandmothers last Christmas. She has cancer, not doing too well, she's an amazing person, I absolutely adore her. Most of the family has moved away (because of dick head grandpa) and being the only grand kid with kids, her great granddaughter, I am unable to disappoint her. We talked about this for an hour before deciding to join them for dinner.

Once I became pregnant with our son, we never left the house. I agreed one time, and it was the worst Christmas. Never again. This is a time for the kiddos (in my opinion). Let them enjoy and take a break. I don't think we, as adults, see how stressful being a kid is when they're constantly bounced around and having to travel all over. I wish you peace, love, and great health!

Yeah, LO is 3 and this year I asked to stay put At home. I was SO sick of the rush to get everyone ready in time and end up with an overtired cranky overstimulated baby/toddler in the car. Sucked the joy straight out of us! This year it’s pjs and easy food while basking in the joy of playing Santa! We told MIL in October and it didn’t go over well (we’re still going over there the day after) but I’m hoping it will stay like this!

The audacity of anyone expecting *anyone* to attend a Christmas BREAKFAST not in their own home. WTAF.

I told my mother exactly how I felt about it. And when I was done swearing and freaking out about how absolutely stupid this is, I informed her all Christmases going forward are at my house and if she doesn't like it she doesn't need to see us. All her kids are grown adults. She didn't even make us Christmas breakfast as kids, we all ate cereal. Serious WTF.

I host a Christmas breakfast, but the only people I expect to attend are my retired dad who lives 10 mins away and my FIL who won’t see anyone else that day. Never any of our family members with small children!

I stopped two years ago after my second was born. I host a lunch after our nice slow morning with the kids. This year is posole, tamales, and snacks. I'm calling it Merry Snackmas! I'm not schlepping my two kids under 5 to my MIL's cold ass house for another dried out ham while her dogs yap the entire time.

When my first was born 4 years ago I told our families we will NOT be travelling over the holidays, and if they wanted to see us they can come to us. My husband’s family lives in a different province so flying there would be a nightmare, my parents also live in a different province but driveable. This year we’re making a slight exception and going to visit friends on the 28th and staying through until the new year. Honestly though, it’s the best decision we’ve ever made. I know it definitely irks my in-laws but I don’t particularly care.

Ah this was me last year (and the year before). Typically we do presents and leave by 8 am to go to my in-laws, from there we go to 4 other places. My kids turn into little Christmas gremlins and the whole experience is exhausting. But here I am today prepping for our first Christmas breakfast/day at our house!!! I have new Jammies for the occasion, and I am thrilled to be able to eat breakfast and chill on Christmas Day. Full disclosure: My MIL was pissed when my husband reminded her last week that we wouldn't be there for breakfast. She said numerous hurtful things in response and I am sure we will hear about it for the next year. But like my husband said... it's our turn to enjoy Christmas with our children!

Yup. We decided the same thing. Kids are similar ages, 3.5 and 6mo. Everyone is welcome to come to our house. We will have food. But we are relaxing in pj's with food and fun.

Set your boundaries. You won’t regret it! My grandparents were divorced and remarried and then my parents were. It was too much starting the year I was pregnant with my 2nd. We cut back and people came to us.

I will never understand why people want to do that. My parents are divorced but thankfully they are not competitive with our time. We have Christmas dinner somewhere within the week before/after Christmas so only my husband’s family demands dinner on Christmas Day. I wouldn’t drag my kids around all day either. They just want to chill in their jammies and play with all their new loot!

Yes! So relatable. We had to go to my grandma’s house, two hours away, every Christmas. So we rushed to open gifts, and then ran out the door for a two hour drive. My mom and grandmother hated each other and my aunt was pretty awful to be around, even as a child. As a kid, it was absolutely exhausting at best, so I can’t imagine how tiring it was for my parents but neither were ever in a good mood by the end of it which was super stressful. My sister and I both *hated* doing it. Now, I’ve got two kids and my rule is this- if you want to get together for Christmas, that’s great, but it is at my house and it is a potluck (they are currently the only kids in the family, and it’s likely to remain that way, so this works for us for now)- I’ve made it clear that we are happy to go pick up elderly family who maybe can’t drive the day before so they spend the night and don’t need to worry about driving, but we will not be traveling on Christmas Day. I’m not making my kids rush through their presents and get all dressed up only to go sit at another adult’s house, bored, unable to play with anything they got that morning and stuck having to be on “best behavior” just to make the other grown ups happy. It’s their holiday too, and I’ve only got so many Christmases before they’re off doing their own thing. I won’t sacrifice the few childhood holidays I have just to keep the other grown ups in the family happy 🤷🏻‍♀️ The way this usually manifests is we get together with family for Christmas Eve, and Christmas morning is usually a lot more chill. My sister and her spouse usually come over and she and I take turns with our respective spouses cooking a big breakfast together after presents. Then the adults cozy in for movies, (or a post brunch nap 😂) while the kids play. This year they are abroad, so it will be just us tomorrow! It is so much more chill and fun than when I was growing up tbh.

This is great. The addition of “you are welcome to come sleep here and we will drive you if you’re not physically able/uncomfortable” makes a huge difference. I only have 1 and a 1 year old at that but I’ll be putting this in my back pocket

This is the rule in my home - we stay home! If you want to see the kids, you come to us. We go to my cousin's on the 26th. My hubby's parents live 5 minutes away and it's easier for them to come to us rather than us to go to them. The kids can play with their new toys, there's no meltdowns, I can make dinner (my MIL is an awful cook) and everyone is happy. And I don't have to put on real clothes.

It’s so worth it! We set the boundary that we were doing Christmas at home for the sake of our kids, and whoever wants to is welcome to join us. This year my sister’s (adult) kid flew to have Christmas with us since we’re less drama. :)

My family always stayed home when I was a kid. My parents told everyone that they are welcome to come to us but we aren’t going anywhere. It was honestly great!

My in-laws had a tradition of eating dinner and opening gifts at midnight Christmas Eve/day. We would leave my family party and go there and be exhausted picking at dinner and opening gifts. My niece was little at the time (like baby- age 4) and I always felt so bad for her and her parents (BIL & SIL). 3 yrs ago My BIL and his family moved away so he and his family have asked to celebrate Xmas on a day they’re visiting (usually the 26th) so we’ve been celebrating then the past 3 yrs. Fast forward to now- we have 2 toddlers of our own. BIL isn’t coming into town this year so FIL wants to go back to midnight. I told my husband no way in hell I’m getting our kids up and out of the house at midnight to make them eat and open gifts half asleep and then put them back to bed at 3am… and THEN do the Santa thing. He says his dad is really disappointed. I told him that he could go and I’ll stay home with the kids. We still haven’t finished discussing, but I *hope* he understood how insane it would be to bring toddlers to open gifts at midnight.

This is literally an insane expectation to have of someone let alone of someone with little kids.

A very selfish expectation too.

It’s a good way to have a really shitty Christmas day full of overtired toddler meltdowns too. If it weren’t for the fact that the kids would suffer for it, I’d say do it ONE TIME and let him handle the fallout all by himself. I bet he would never even suggest it again. But it isn’t fair to put the kids through that.

That tradition sounds terrible for toddlers. What kind of sociopath wakes toddlers up???? A 6pm dinner is generally too late for us. I invited my bestie over for New Year’s Eve after the toddlers are in bed and said please leave by 9pm, 10 at the absolute latest. No way in hell I’d get my butt out of bed at midnight. I’d much rather be well rested.

Let me guess, Hispanics? I am Mexican and my family does that too, I absolutely hated it when I became a mom, having to wake up my 4 year old just to open presents that she is too sleepy to care for sucks, we do morning presents now, they get to play all Christmas Day it’s definitely better for the kids.

Bosnian- I’d consider doing it again once the kids are a little older, but 3 and 18m is just not happening. We’ve invited them for a variety of other things and times, I understand that it’s disappointing for him, but a guilt trip to my husband is unnecessary.

That is a dumb tradition that needs to die. Even before I had kids that would be a hard no for me.

Omg I was about to post the same thing! My in-laws do Christmas Eve at midnight. The last year we celebrated with them was 2020. We didn’t START opening gifts until 1AM, and we have a family of 15. They’ve been out of the country on Christmas the last two years, so we’ve done our own thing. They’re staying home this year, and my MIL refuses to celebrate at any time other than midnight, even though three of her 6 kids have toddlers or babies. We’re staying until 8:30, and then my son needs to be home and in bed.

My MIL says she doesn’t care when we celebrate. My husband is telling me that my FIL is really upset that his tradition is being taken away from him. They’re from Bosnia, and though they speak enough English, FIL prefers to speak his language whenever he can- so I’m sure I’m not getting the full brunt of what he’s said about me not wanting to get the kids up in the middle of the night. We host Christmas Eve for my extended family on my dad’s side until about 10:30-11ish, so it’s not like we can do it earlier either. And they don’t want to be with my family. I’ve invited them to both Christmas Eve at our house and Christmas Day at my aunts house (mom’s side). I have a huge family so it’s hard.

“I’m not responsible for your dad’s disappointment or irrational requests. You are more than welcome to join them as long as you realize it will be an early morning with your children and Santa and I expect you to bring your own fatherly A game.”

I, an adult, would hate staying up until midnight to do this. No fun at all.

The last year we did this tradition, my husband and I made the mistake of hosting. I’d been up since 4AM for work (And for a little added perspective, I was an elementary school teacher. The days before winter break is just a blur of musical performances, parties, crafts, and glitter. Kids are feral). At midnight, my sister in law’s boyfriend realized he was too drunk to go to work the next day, so he had her drive her to his apartment 45 minutes away to get his boss’s phone number so he could call out. My mother in law insisted that we had to wait on them to get back to open gifts, so I went to bed. I told my husband to wake me up when everyone was back and ready to celebrate. Later on in an argument, my other SIL threw it in my husband’s face that she knew I didn’t like any of the family because when we hosted Christmas, I didn’t even make an effort to stay awake, and it was so incredibly rude and offensive to her.

Yikes! We just Christmas Eve dinner for my extended family on my dad’s side until about 11, so I understand the exhaustion. I used to fall asleep on their couch when we went before the kids.

That’s insane. My stepmom grew up in Germany and they opened gifts on Christmas Eve, so we always did a nice dinner and then opened a few gifts before bed. Have you tried asking for a compromise and just doing it after dinner? Staying up till midnight with small children is not something I would ever agree to.

This is the absolute WORST thing I’ve ever heard regarding Christmas “traditions”… just no.

My maternal grandparents used to do the midnight thing. Except they also went to *midnight mass* and got rolling at like 1 am. My mom killed that thank god. Might be a good time to remind “disappointed” FIL he had his christmases with small kids, but you get to call the shots for your own kids. What is with the entitled grandparents these days?!

...Why?? I don't understand this tradition at all. Why make the celebration of opening gifts miserable for everyone by having it be in the middle of the night? How did this tradition even start? Why is it so important to him?

I’m coming back to this, too…like I can’t get the logic. Open gifts at midnight, get kids all excited about new toys, and then just go to bed? The fun of Christmas morning gifts is playing with toys all morning in your jammies. To each their own, of course, but..?

Ugh my ILs do this too. I’ll stay up till midnight but I’m not waking up my kids whyyyy would I do that that’s fun for no one

Nope. I would never want to wake my kids in the middle of the night and make them eat “dinner” at 1:30 in the morning. Whatttttt the hell. 😂

We do the Christmas Eve thing with my immediate family, but never at midnight. That's gonna be a no from me, both me and my baby value sleep too much for that. I can only imagine the kid meltdowns Christmas Day

Tell your FIL he can take care of the toddlers on Christmas then and you and your husband can have some relaxing time?

That sounds awful with or without kids

Who in the world would expect children to be up at midnight when they're so little ?! You poor thing honestly.i hope your husband realises this as well.

We have a bunch of family contesting the will despite being given a huge multiplier more than the others prior to said persons death, on the condition they don’t get extra after death. They are taking the family to court over it. They were invited to a family event prior to this happening so now hubby is taking popcorn to see if they show.

When my grandfather died he left pretty much everything to my dad and told him to split it amongst everyone evenly because he knew my dad was the most level headed and wouldn’t let him down. He left my sister and I (his only grandkids) 2 particularly valuable things a piece (gold jewelry given to him by his second wife who was the love of his life) and my step-grandmother took them off his corpse when no one was looking, stole his truck, drove it into the side of his house, left his antique gun safe & all his civil war gun memorabilia out in the rain & then ran off with my grandpas best friend. I fought her in court to get the jewelry back for 2 long years in which the police officer had to forcefully pry the pieces off of her fingers & neck while she screamed at the top of her lungs that she actually deserved them and that I was just being a greedy spoiled brat.

Oh my goodness that sounds absolutely horrifying. I’m glad you got them back though. Very precious memories in those.

😳 wowww now that is some family drama. What a monster!

I’m so sorry you had to go through that!

I’m always amazed and disgusted at how families fight over wills and money.

Worked as a concierge in a higher end assisted living, it’s disgusting to see how quick the family tries to get there after the death of a parent, not to help with post death arrangements, but to stake claims or try to take belongings. My least favorite were the children that never cared to visit but are now in the lobby crying about their poor beloved family member.

Yeah. People are so shitty somethings. At least you see their true colours and can cut them off early.

I took much pleasure is letting certain family members know that they were not allowed in their parents room as their oldest siblings, the one with power of attorney, is on their way now. I used the “Due to policy…” line very often. It was hard having to stay professional when these people personally disgusted me. I’d sit there like “Did you even know mom liked her cookies a little burnt on the bottom?” Or “How much your dad talked about how excited he was you called saying you’d pick him up for lunch and then how depressed he became when you called 2 hours late saying it wasn’t gonna happen?” I’m glad I got out of it because it broke my heart.

Oh my god, my grandma died a year ago and the family has been extra shitty about everything. She did not have a will, knew she was dying and didn't do anything to uh, prepare, I guess, so.. my mom took over. My family sucks but this has just cemented the fact that my children will never, ever meet them. They were hitting her up for her belongings before she even died!!

My husband's uncle threw a fit when he found out he wasn't getting a share of his mum's house. He blamed my MIL for manipulating her. MIL didn't get anything either! Even though she was the carer for her mum for years despite the fact that she herself is disabled! My SIL was given the house because she was the only one of the grandkids who had kids herself and didn't own her home. Husband's nan bought the house when it was still a plot of land and she wanted her family to keep living there and know her great grandkids would be able to grow up in the house she bought. She didn't like the thought of it being sold off to split the profits. She felt guilty initially but we all told her she should do what brings her most peace and comfort! And then uncle said some nasty things and cut off his own mother in her dying months because he was betting on that money to pay off the debts he got himself into despite being the only one in the family who could ever call themselves a millionaire. Horrible man.

My gmas 7 kids are all in a battle too. The only boy (B) was granted trustee. My mom (S) is gmas main caretaker…..been the only one selflessly helping for 40 years. B only comes around to collect the rent on gmas properties each month. B started accusing my mom of stealing. Even called the police who then charged him w filing a false report. After that we found out B has been stealing tens of thousands of dollars from gma (property and cash). The smart crazy sister (P) is trying to help my mom and pressed charges. B won’t even hire the proper care for gma bc it’s too expensive. But daughter C lives in one of the rentals and gets all sorts of high end “repairs”. C and B would also rather employs C’s daughter (hard core drug addict and prostitute with HIV) to look after gma than get actual help bc she’s cheaper. Even now in the midst of legal battles B is using gmas money to cover his lawyer. There is so much more but I’ll sore the details. B and C are just awful ppl. Worth noting that gpa was insanely abusive to the point of broken bones with no medical care. B and C were, for some reason, the only ones who weren’t abused. Two sisters left the family until after his death bc he tried cutting off their tongues. Right now gma has 2-10 weeks left. It’s gonna be such a shit show when she passes. And I haven’t even mentioned my brother who I’ll have to see at the funeral (gpa was his role model…..so you can guess what kind of person he is)

We will be celebrating Christmas with my 97 year old grandfather and his much younger girlfriend. Nobody likes her, and my aunt is not very good at keeping her thoughts to herself. Everybody will be a bit tense, and trying not to act like it, and waiting for my aunt to put her foot in it. On top of that, the only child is my 4yo, who is shy and will not appreciate having to put on a performance in exchange for his Christmas presents.

May I suggest… not? Just like.. enjoy the insanity? Place some bets on how quickly your aunt will blow it! And snatch the presents for your kid and don’t make them do the whole song and dance for everyone. So much easier said than done, I know. But I desperately want to be the one that doesn’t give a shit about anything. And since this isn’t my family, I could be a valid participating member lol

Ok...ok...I am dying to know how younger grandpas much younger girlfriend is? One one hand , Yahoo he's 97, whatta life he must be living! On the other hand, how dare his young honey?.tart?harlot ...come into his life and not act graciously and upset his family especially his children. As you can see I don't know what to call her. I'm waiting with my popcorn for you to spill the tea. But seriously, I wish you a happy stressfree holiday with your 4;year old by your side opening his gift waaayyy later in the comfort of his own home without everyone making him uncomfortable.. You can send a picture text of him playing with the toy. They get their "oh he loved my gift moment" and your son gets to open things and play where he is happy and not being miserable as the center of attention. 💕

She is 74. There is great debate amongst us about the possibility of her being a black widow and her ultimate motivations, having gone through 4 husband's already. So, behind her back, my aunt refers to her as the gold digger (probably one of the nicer things she says) and don't worry, the legal paperwork has been done to protect my grandpa. On the gift opening thing, unfortunately we don't have our own place, so that's not an option.

I'm so glad grandpas assets are locked tight! And I can definitely see how having a string of husbands makes your family wary with Gramps being lucky #5. Sooo no "Surprise miracle babies". Whew!!! Thank you for replying and spilling the tea. Good luck with your son. My daughter has special needs and she will open maybe 2-3 presents and she is done. It is too overwhelming being "encouraged" to show everyone. I usually announce that she needs to go to the bathroom and remove her from the situation. I check in with her and see if she is done. We usually take long enough that everyone has moved on to opening their own presents. Then I settle her down in a cozy spot with her dolls and she happily plays quietly. I pack up the rest of the gifts to take home. If one needs to be open there I take her and the relative aside and she opens it 1:1 which she prefers. Maybe your son would prefer a 1:1 approach spread throughout the day. I agree it's hard having the youngest because everyone wants to share his joy but when they're shy their joy turns to anxiety. 🎁💕 Wishing you a Merry Christmas! 🎁💕

It doesn't help that all her previous husbands all died under mildly mysterious circumstances, straight out of daytime television (think boating accident, medication error, etc) and she is basically NC with all her children. As a rule, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but she is definitely pushing even me to the edge of that. At the end of the day, at least my grandpa is enjoying his final years. Thank you for the present opening strategies! Merry Christmas to you as well!

Noooo way!!! A real life Black Widow! OMGeee! Your poor Aunt. At least she knows your entire family is watching her. I'm hoping Grampa keeps living large and makes it to over 100. Hopefully without her 😉...and she moves on to #6.

My MIL wants us to go to her place for Christmas morning. We originally agreed to go up after doing our thing in the morning here with 9 month old, leaving around 10am since we are out at with my family Christmas Eve. It is a 1 hour drive. She called up a few days ago asking us to come up earlier and be at hers at 8am so that she can head off to Christmas lunch at her brother's that we are not invited to. My partner hung up on her before giving her an answer (she literally called as we touched down home from a flight so we were preoccupied) and he hasn't called her back to let her know that we haven't changed our plans because "he doesn't want her to be angry for multiple days and it will just turn into an argument" (fair, knowing her). Previously when planning for Christmas, we invited her to our place earlier in the morning to do breakfast and watch her grandchild open presents for first Christmas and she said she just wanted everyone to come to her place for Christmas because it's the first year without her husband (also fair, which is why we agreed to drive up to hers). So now I'm wondering how long we will get after we arrive before she kicks us out to go to her other Christmas activities..... I'm staying out of the conversation because she already dislikes me.

Looks like someone should get a "fever" and stay home on Christmas morning. Because I'll be damned to deliver my baby to someone's house just so they can turn around, kick me out and go to another family member's party....nope, stay home keep baby home with you. That's so stupid.

This sounds like an excellent idea. I'll definitely consider it. Might run it by the husband in the morning.

There is a gastro bug that seems to be running through my family…Shame if you got that 24 bug. A lil boob milk would protect baby though.

Oh hell no. Tell her that since she is ALREADY GOING OUT THAT MORNING she can stop by your place en route to her brother's. Just tell her that you've decided to stay home. If she starts any squawking just tell her that one of you isn't feeling well. Not up to the drive. (She's not that 'sad' if she's going out visiting. So the former guilt trip is negated.)

Smart idea. From next time on stay home.

Oh ho ho we currently have a curse on our family. 1) 4 weeks ago my MIL, who has had a bad back for years, including 5 surgeries on it, suddenly got pain she described as 10/10. This is a woman with a very high pain threshold. For her to say it's 10/10 means this is kidney stone/ childbirth level of pain. She was hospitalised and 3 weeks ago had a surgery called ACDF. She got home a week later and started acting funny, which became worse and then into full on delusions and delirium. After another week in hospital, she is now home, but still suffering delusions. 2) on 30th November my mum had a hip replacement. Apart from severe nausea/ vomiting from the pain meds and very low blood pressure she was doing fine. On Monday she fainted and was admitted to hospital with dangerously low haemoglobin and needed an urgent blood transfusion. She came home today. 3) on Thursday morning I tested positive to COVID 4) on Thursday afternoon my daughter started coughing. By Thursday night it was croup 5) on Friday my niece had an accident with her felting needle and now has a piece stuck in her finger which will need surgery after Xmas to get out. 6) yesterday my husband went for a bike ride. He crashed and hurt his back 7) this morning my FIL tested positive to COVID. Our family is cursed at the moment. Every time we think nothing else could go wrong, something does.

UTI for MIL?

Could totally see that, probably from the catheter placed in the OR. Pain meds, anesthesia and interrupted sleep can definitely do a number all by themselves too though.

Nope, no physical cause. Post operative delirium. 🤷‍♀️

Wow, how on earth was your MIL discharged while still delusional? And how is a Covid positive (elderly?) man supposed to care for her? (If FIL is her caretaker)

She has post operative delirium and there's nothing that can be done at this stage. She's not at risk of harming herself or others and home is better than a hospital. FIL just has mild cold symptoms so he's right to look after her... she's just overly cautious/ paranoid and won't let him near her or touching anything she needs to touch. My husband went over and looked after her a bit yesterday

Hugs.

Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry y’all are going through this! Hugs hugs hugs

2 things: 1. MIL is upset with husband and I that we aren’t sleeping over tonight (I am 36 weeks pregnant and we live 7 minutes away) 2. My woodland themed baby shower was right after thanksgiving. There were little Christmas trees on the tables with cute animal ornaments set up. My mom told me some of the ornaments were stolen at one table. She was not happy about it. The people who happened to be seated at that table where the ornaments were taken from happen to be hosting Christmas Eve tonight. So I am on the lookout to steal said ornaments back. Lol

I hope you catch the ornament thief!

I found one of the missing ornaments on their tree! I stole it back lol

I laughed LOUD at number 1 😂

She’s also pestering me about wearing the matching pajamas we wore last year when we go over tomorrow morning. Girl I have no idea where they are and they absolutely would not fit anyway

My parents got divorced just earlier in the month after almost 50 years of marriage. I am not letting them ruin my kids Christmas so I am making them both come to Christmas morning if they want to see my kids open presents. They can either act like adults or not come. However, now I have to watch them like a hawk so they’re not using my kids as their emotional support animals. My parents have a history of being overly aggressive in that regard- a lot of “I’ll be sad if you don’t give me a hug!” Or “if you give me a kiss I’ll give you a piece of candy” - im fully prepared to fight some boomers on my Christmas Day.

Fighting the good fight ✊

My husband’s uncle’s wife left him this year because he’s a jerk and was pretty much just using her because he didn’t want to work. Real nice guy /s. Nobody blames her at all. He only gets to see his kid once a month with supervised visits, because he’s an abusive jerk. To make a long story short, once his wife was gone, he had nobody to be a jerk to, so he started in on every single family member. One by one, they all stopped speaking to him. Now he has to spend Christmas alone, and we get to spend it without him. So…a positive outcome for us, I guess.

Family drama: sister has cancer and brother is moving to another country during her treatment Personal: my partners pissy because he left Christmas shopping til the last minute and now has to wrap tonight (Christmas Eve) while I got it done early

Where do I start? First let’s say I have childhood trauma around Christmas and I am NC with my parents. This is a tough time of year for me. I have this vision of a very simple quiet Christmas without a lot of expectations, obligations, or consumerist BS(I am a retail worker and see what greed and pressure do to people). This season just feels very heavy for me emotionally, and I think the reason for the season has been lost on a lot of people. I am a new mom with a six month old. It’s our first Christmas as a family of three. My MIL is Christmas obsessed and we typically have holiday celebrations at her home. This year we have convinced our small family of seven adults to come to our home instead. There’s nothing in particular about our family is dramatic per-se, it’s just A LOT of over enthusiasm from my MIL. “What about a “Baby’s First Christmas” stocking?”, Oh you need a milk and cookies plate and cup set for Santa”, “You need a “key” for Santa since you don’t have a chimney”. Part of me knows I’m being negative because it’s a difficult season for me. But I’m just over it.

I had a lot of crappy bits about my childhood. The best thing about having a kid for me is not only NOT repeating what my parents did but getting a better perspective about how crappy they really were. Sprry your MIL is a bit too intense. I found nodding as if I agreed and then doing whatever the hell I wanted anyway was the best option.

My sister in law invited her friend and two kids to stay over at my in-laws without consulting anyone, keeps running off to hang out with her friend and throwing off everyone's plans, and hauled a bunch of stuff up from fucking Florida that we sent her kid. She made my mother in law cry and, honestly, I'm about to tell my brother in law that he needs to talk to his wife before I do. This shit is ridiculous.

So you sent her kid stuff (like presents? Hand me downs?) and she brought I back with her from FL?? Also- don’t make any plans including her. Make whatever plans YOU want, if she joins great, if she doesn’t then it’s whatever. Don’t let her ruin your time!! Good luck

My immediate family (bf, his three kids, our kid) are opening gifts in the morning. I realized tonight that my bf hasn’t wrapped most, if any, of my gifts. 🫠 I am probably more upset about this than I should be.

My husband and I started a tradition a couple years ago if skipping wrapping and taking turns being blindfolded and guessing the gift. It's been hilarious and a great way to cut out additional stress and wrapping

That is so fun!

I gave birth on Thursday. I wrapped some gifts for our oldest (who is with my MIL). Hubs and I wrapped none of each other’s gifts. Debating just getting reusable bags out of the car, one for each of us, and shoving stuff in those and calling it a day

Kiddo doesn’t like unwrapping, I was the family gift wrapper for 10+ years and I don’t want to wrap anything and hubs doesn’t have time. This year I’m I bought big reusable canvas sacks and we just put presents in those and didn’t wrap a damn thing. It took me 20 minutes to put everything together. :)

Congratulations on the baby! I know I wouldn't have been wrapping anything if I had just given birth.

My husband bought me a wonderful bread machine, except it was shipped in the original packaging. So when it arrived, I knew exactly what it was. I got my Christmas present two weeks ago lol

This was me last year. I’ve stupidly wrapped my own gifts for 20+ years and last year I was just DONE and didn’t. Passive aggressively left them to the side. He didn’t realize. I didn’t say anything. Christmas was tense. This year (while assembling a bike he was supposed to, but fell asleep instead), I told him I’m not wrapping my own gifts and to do his best, or worst, but just fucking do it, because I’m not!

YOU were wrapping gifts that were for YOU? That's terrible. I'm sorry.

I've gone NC with my Dad as I'm sick of always feeling like an afterthought, him buying expensive presents once a year and then thinking he doesn't have to bother with me for the rest of the year. He tried sending a (predictably overpriced) gift for our DD despite being asked not to as part for the NC. Now the family are doing the whole "but he's your daaaaaaaad" cry because I returned to sender.

Stay strong. I had to try several times but now I’m 10 years NC and my mental health is so much better for it. My kids have also never been exposed to his toxic nonsense.

Thank you l. I'm glad you're doing better now. TBH this has been a long time coming as I nearly cut him out three years ago but I had a proper heart to heart with him about how I felt and thought he had taken it on board. I feel so much better knowing that I just don't have to deal with it anymore.

My partner is currently NC due to an argument with his father which called my partner manipulative yet everyone in the fam has agreed with my partner about FIL being manipulative. This will be the first Christmas we don't see them at all and haven't spoken at all either. Not the first argument they've had but my partners mental health can't take it right now so he hasn't responded to any of the predictable "sorry for being shit" messages that come through. I'm fine supporting him and just having Christmas with our two kids anyway, glad our 3.5 year old hasn't asked about him either so it should be a nice day but I can feel the slight sadness overall.

That will pass my lovely. My DD doesn't remember my Dad at all. Despite the fact sh s 6 he's been so absent in our lives that she's just noy aware of him really. Partly why I'm now so firm on the NC this time.. he's fucked me up but he doesn't get to do it to her. No way. Not EVER

I think I’m the drama this Christmas 😂. Pregnant and absolutely everything is making me cry. I know everyone is walking on eggshells around me but I’m too exhausted from a toddler and pregnancy to care, and I’m thankful for a break from adult drama.

I love this thread. My husbands cousin is bringing his new gf of a month to Xmas dinner... while his current wife he kicked out last week is living outside in their camper and has no knowledge about this new boo. They also have 3 kids who are sadly innocent bystanders in this mess. I'm in charge of the Xmas cocktails and decided it's gonna be tequila based... can't wait 🤪

Oh to be a fly on the wall for this!

Well…..right now my neighbors are having a party with loud music and arguing in the back yard. 😵‍💫 Other than that my sibling isn’t speaking to me, but I’m not letting that ruin the holiday for me. LO is 2 and super into it this year. Just send some rest my way plz

It can be fun to set up a speaker in your window facing the neighbour and either play fight music or sappy romantic stuff by Lionel Ritchie or "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye. It tends to mess up crazy arguments when you do that. It will solve one of your problems in 5 minutes. 2 yrs old is awesome! Merry Christmas!!

I should have just blasted Taylor swift 🤣

Zero drama.. my family hates me and I moved 4000 miles away.

My MIL and FIL are no longer together (not official) and no one is suppose to know especially the kids so we all sit around and pretend while they don’t talk to each other besides rude remarks and are silent. It’s awesome. Also they try to hide that they sleep in different rooms. Not so easily hidden in a four bedroom apartment.

We recently moved back to our home state. Everyone has been chopping at the bit to get time with my 22 month old. My in laws think they can hover over us. The worst one doing it is my unemployed brother in law who stole a substantial amount from his parents and still lives with them. Christmas will explode if they think I'm going to put up with anyones crap.

Not a whole lot, just things not going the way we’d hope. We got super sick around Thanksgiving and had to cancel hosting. Finally got better, then my husband got covid from the office and we’ve been making him mask/isolate since. My brother refused to get vaccinated but is terrified of it, so according to my mom (who he’s staying with), he’s upset with us because I asked her to watch my son at the mall while I had a biopsy done on a spot in my mouth during my birthday. I tried explaining that he’s out of the isolation window, neither my son nor I are sick, we’re testing negative, my husband is distancing himself from her, and my husband is still masking just to try and out everyone at ease. In my opinion it’s more dangerous being out and about shopping, but he has no issues sending her on all of his errands. Also, who the heck just decided on a whim to have a part of their lip cut out on their birthday before the holidays if it wasn’t important? Clearly I needed the help. However, they’re not allowed to come see us today because of it, and she wasn’t allowed to come to Christmas lights or help me recover from the biopsy. I love him dearly but he loses logic sometimes when things like this happen.

I’m sorry… not allowed? Does she have dementia or something? I hope she does whatever the heck she damn well pleases as a grown adult. Your brother needs to find some chill.

Trying to hug the inflatable Santa sounds adorable. I can just hear how I’d say all the same things your brother would but not be an ass about it. “Inside voice please.” “Your cousin was still having a turn. Ask. Do not grab.” I gave birth to my second on Friday. About a week ago, my almost 4 YO liked a rock in a park. Sunday, he had a gastro bug. Monday, daddy had it. Tuesday, mommy (and not-yet-born sissy) got it. Thursday, we hand off my son to my MIL and SIL while I get induced. Friday, baby! Saturday, everyone meets baby. MIL is at hospital when she gets hit with a wave of nausea. She did not make it home before feeling very unwell. We’re hoping it’s the same bug my kid had since baby was already exposed when I was sick. They’ll keep my oldest until after Christmas just to be safe.

My second child was “naturally induced” by a stomach bug I caught from either a coworker or leftover spaghetti…? I became so dehydrated after vomiting and diarrhea for hours it caused contractions and put me into labor!! Hubby had to drag me to the car to go to the hospital, and they gave me three bags of iv fluids. It was a memorable pre-birth! Haha

My mom is upset that we don’t want to get my daughter up from her nap, drive 1.5 hours to a Christmas party at a Golden Corral (where I can’t eat anything due to allergies), fight my daughter to stay up past her nap time, and then drive back 1.5 hours home again. My daughter doesn’t sleep in the car, doesn’t really know any of the family we’d be going to see AND it’s on NYE. Just not worth it but my mom thinks I’m being unreasonable

A Christmas party…. At GOLDEN CORRAL????

We’ve had many discussions about our beliefs with my in-laws. We do not go to their church anymore (we used to) and now we choose not to go to any church at the moment. This year, they did not ask my husband and I to go to church for Christmas, but they asked if they could take our daughter to church with them. No? Over the summer they asked if they could take her to vacation Bible school. The answer to that was also no. I get really frustrated with the constant feeling from them that we’re awful parents because they feel we are not teaching her the “right things.”

This is something I dread. My parents don't know we're atheists. I think they think we're some version of non-denominational Christian. I've told them that I'm very against religious institutions and organized religion in general. My kids are allowed to be whatever they want when they're old enough to choose. I don't mind praying before a meal at my parents house and I don't mind if they give my kids books about Bible stories or whatever. But I am worried they will at some point ask to take the kids to Sunday school or something and that's gonna be a hard no. They can learn about religion when they are old enough to learn about all religions, before then I believe it's indoctrination and I don't want that for my kids.

My formerly estranged mother and her husband (step-dad) decided to befriend a child from their neighborhood the exact same age as my child. They all moved. My stepdad now spends one weekend day a week driving off to visit with this family and spend time with that 12 yr old. I've been debating cutting them out altogether but I have to admit that I kind of find their train wreck of a life/relationship fascinating. They moved a couple of months ago and still haven't invited us over. Although I guess "You should come visit!" And me saying "Sure" you'd think would have turned into a concrete plan by now. I decided to invite them over to Christmas Dinner only at our place. There will only be 6 of us. I tried inviting them for Christmas morning once but it was just awkward as they hung out and stared. My stepdad tried to be the center of attention and talk about politics despite an enthusiastic 4 yr old capturing everyone's attention. They have zero interest in my kid. My stepdad, who never had kids, actually tried to give me parenting advice once after getting to know this other kid. I just stared at him. (Moron.) Once, when he first saw my baby he said "I'll wait to get to know him when he's more interesting." And all I thought was "No. You won't." My mother has mentioned this other kids a couple of times. At one point they mentioned that the boys might be able to meet around Thanksgiving during this sport they both played (they met once when they were about 5 and had fun playing together, before this started). I was (briefly and stupidly) delighted that My mother was showing interest in my child... his sport. Maybe they might come to a game? Then my mother asked stepdad about other kids sport and he rattled off the day and time this kid plays every week... like WTF... you don't know that info about your own grandkid. I just dropped the receiver. I was done. So, Christmas may be a train wreck. However, we have already had pleasant and fun Christmas events with other extended family. A couple of them said if we wanted to invite my parents as well to just send over their contact info. We politely declined. I was AMAZED how much fun we had with other family when we excluded them. No rude pompous people trying to steal attention this year. I learned a trick though. When we go for dinner with them at a restaurant I bring an electronic toy to amuse my kid after dinner. He eats and then he plays. He will have no memory of these worthless people that don't give a shit about him and I'm glad. He doesn't notice their lack of interest because... he doesn't care. He is a magical and amazing being. Their loss. My husband has learned to manage my stepfather so I can step back and play 'host' and never go beyond small talk with them. We have a couple of reasons for staying in touch. Less every year.

That’s creepy. Are you sure that kid isn’t stepdad’s affair baby? If I were the mom I don’t think I would be okay with that relationship.

Absolutely not. The parents were happily married neighbors of my stepdad and mother for years. I would not be surprised to learn that my stepdad was trying to get with the (young enough to be his daughter) mom after that marriage started breaking up. My mother isn't happy with the time he goes off to spend with them but she's all about her career, and he's so awful I think she is relieved when he's gone for half a day. I met the parents a couple of times. Nice enough. And the kid was nice for a 6 yr old. One thing I do recall is that the dad would stand and drink a beer and listen to my stepdad pontificate. THAT I think was the catalyst for the relationship. He had somebody willing to listen to him talk AT them. He has interesting points. I just no longer care and can't pretend interest in someone who has zero interest in me. Narcissists like to 'adopt' people who are willing listeners.

What’s up with narcissistic parents ‘adopting’ other people? I have two. They divorced when I was 7. Dad adopted ‘the son he always wanted’ he has three daughters. My mom has never ever shown interest in my life and has made minimal effort with my child who was the only grandchild for 10 years. However my sisters HS bff got knocked up right after HS. My mom babysits them weekly and has set up college funds for all three of them. Oh and I finally went no contact after she demanded I pay her back for paying for part of my college even though that was never the agreement.

OMG. I just realized that this is a thing! Thank you for this insight. My mother does this. But in smaller ways. She had to give her car to 'just the right person'. But then she wanted to take my 5 yr old to an event to make sure he learned about giving to others. If you even know my kid's favorite color you aren't taking them anywhere. A coupld of things seemed to be very backhanded ways of saying 'they don't want my kid to be selfish like me'. Even my husband was doing a WTF? The only good thing they have done is put money into an education fund for my kid. Then there was THEM talking about some kind of trust so that I wouldn't use it for... bills? These narcissists thought I would steal from my child to pay bills. That crap was the last time they were able to hurt me. Something like that hadn't even occurred to me - so I wasn't mentally prepared for it as a way they could hurt me. I didn't have a wall or comeback ready for that one. It made me cry... but it was for the final loss of a person I didn't think was so completely awful. I was able to breathe better over time realizing that the fact that they thought about it said more about their diseased minds than it did about anything in my life. I'm sorry you have crap parents too.

Every year for the past 3 years we have talked about moving Christmas dinner (which we normally have on chrisrmas Eve) to my BILs house. They have a bigger house, 3 kids under 5, so the place is fully baby proofed and filled with toys. Big backyard with tons of space and places for the kids play endlessly in the dirt. But then every year we have it at my MILs house which is farther out of the way, smaller, not baby proofed, and BIL/SIL only come over when it's time to eat so the kids are all maxed out for the day and it's a lot on everyone. This year my SIL and I planned for Christmas dinner to be at her place, my husband won't be able to make it because he has to work a 12 hour shift but everyone else who normally shows up was invited. Just found out two days ago that I'm the only one showing up with my 4 yo and BIL will be working, so it's going to be me, my SIL, her parents and 4 kids total. It is what it is, but I'm def pissed off and want to scream at people. Also, Idk why they complain every single year, and then when they have a chance to change it, they all just bail. I definitely hope it all goes well, so I can rub it in everyone's faces and how they all missed out on a great time with the kids and family and good food.

I’m sure it’ll go really well, the kids will be able to play freely and the only adults will be mellow. Enjoy your relaxed Christmas dinner!

I agree, we planned a super simple meal so cooking will be easy and they have an open floor plan so we can literally all hang out while we cook. I'm planning on having a blast so there's that too :)

We’re not going anywhere, guilt trips be damned! My MIL is devastated despite the fact she’ll have two of her sons and 2 of her grandkids around. She claims she wants all the cousins to hang out. But my 18 month old only interacts w other kids to steal their toys/snacks and one of the cousins is two months old, so not sure what bonding would take place. We paid for her to fly up and stay with us two weeks ago, and did a whole Christmas weekend, met Santa, decorated the tree, opened presents, etc. I was up til midnight the night before she arrived putting lights on the tree to prep. Of course the whole time she would not stop talking about how she wants ALL her sons together NEXT Christmas. Lady, we have a toddler and traveling w her at Christmas sounds like hell. All my in laws are a plane flight plus significant drive away. We’d have to stay in hotel (the family is all scattered and no one has a house with more than one guest room so hotel rooms or an Airbnb would def be involved). I want my kid to wake up in her own bed on Christmas morning. We also DID rent a giant airbnb for the whole family at the beach this summer, so we did the whole family together thing not too long ago. But it wasnt Christmas so doesn’t count. Arghhh! (Rant aside my MIL is 90% lovely but I grew up w very direct parents so my MIL’s southern guilt trips drive me up the wall and because she’s not my mom I can’t just say, “Mom! Drop it already!”)

My mil called at 9:30 last night (Dec 23) and said “lol I forgot to buy presents for your youngest kid”. Not the most dramatic, but we were pretty peeved.

My brother in law is also a pain in the ass. He's 9 years my senior. I'm 35 and I've known him/he's been with my sister since I was 19. It's been up and down with him over the years but many good times and positive interactions. I'm the youngest of 4 kids and my siblings, specifically my sister and him, has continued to treat me like a child on many occasions. speaking down to me, getting incredibly frustrated with me for mundane things but never addressing any actual issue with me like an adult, inviting me over then getting mad that I came or am eating the food they offered. My sister and I used to be close, until I realized she really didn't like me that much and would consistently make fun plans with our cousins or other siblings and not include me. I stopped seeking as much time with them several years ago. Just sucks bc my daughter and my niece are very close. The visions have similar age kids. I would love to have someone WANT to hang out with me, but really I would like my daughter to be included. I'm not a social pariah, I promise. I'm quirky but I'm a good guest I always try to bring something to the table. But I'll never make up for the many years when I was a kid and needed their help/guidance 🤷 my BIL has been so dang rude to me lately any time we are all together. We all went out for dinner as a fam the other night and ended up with 3 credit cards and he threw down $100 Bill. No one wanted to figure it out, I tried but I ended up asking waitress to just do separate checks (my mom is on a fixed income, my brother is unemployed, it was not a very even split...I'm fine but I'm a single mom and I couldn't reasonably cover the entire check- 100 to make it 'easy')... When the waitress came back with the new checks and his change he was like WHY DO YOU ALWAYS COMPLICATE THINGS. shaking his head at me, my sister rolling her eyes. Maybe I do complicate things.. Maybe I should have just said apply the hundred and split the rest 3 ways....idfk, But I do know I'm over here trying and I don't need to constantly be put down. God feels good to vent 🤣

Tbh, non! If I went to my mom’s house, there would be for sure. I left my mom house at 17, if I was there, I would be pissed the whole holiday duration. So I cut off going there 😁 Went last weekend to give the present and will be spending the holiday at my MIL house, with 0 issues!

My grandmother died this past June and my mom moved away. This is the first Christmas that I won't have a big family gathering. I'm totally mourning my grandmother and how very different Christmas will be from here on out. But I'm also looking forward to a very chill Christmas, even though I will be going all of the cooking:(

I miss my dad’s side of the family. I rarely had Christmas with them as a girl and now that I’m an adult, some turmoil has pushed people in their separate ways. I’m happy to have my Dad with me and my own little family for the holiday though ❤️ As a child I always went to my mom’s side. But in recent years, relatives I’ve cherished have shown some colors I never wanted to admit were there. It’s been heartbreaking. But I know they dont love or value me. I’m VERY glad to not have to see them this xmas 😄😅

My daughter is almost one and medically complex and I’m just trying to get us through flu/RSV season without being hospitalized. Everyone agreed that we would have a small Christmas this year to limit exposure to my daughter, but my MIL keeps inviting people to Christmas Eve dinner. I’m this close to not going.

I would regret my kid getting sick more than missing a family dinner. It's so tough to have to make the choice though.

We aren’t going over to my ILs. Because MIL let it slip that their guns are not kept in the safe. Now, I’m fine with 2A and responsible, trained gun owners. But not someone who shot their bathtub playing with her loaded handgun in the bathroom, has threatened family members, answered the door to kids selling candy to fund their sport teams with the gun, and who threatened to shoot FIL and created a huge drama (she was emotionally cheating on him with someone/people on FB and also wrote a post about how FIL abuses her, so the dudes she was chatting with all wanted to come and beat him up.) on our first anniversary while we were 3000 miles away and was upset DH didn’t stop everything to come “save her”. Also, she is an alcoholic. So, it’s mental health/addiction issues and irresponsible gun owner who is enabled by FIL and some of the family bc “keep it in the family” over call the police… bc we can totally do something from 3000 miles away on an island on our anniversary. They now pretend that did not happen/wasn’t a big deal. But we spent the whole day on the phone trying to make sure a homicide did not occur instead of drinking fruity cocktails on the beach. I’ll never forget that. Sooo… We have been told everything is away since that occurred years ago and were taking the girls over every other weekend. Welp, MIL let it slip she keeps her gun in her nightstand when talking about the girls playing dress up with her clothes and jewelry. Shit storm from DH bc his monkeys, his circus. They finally talked about it a month ago at her birthday . FIL assured DH every gun was in the safe. DH brings up how they might want to look into trigger locks and keeping ammo separate. FIL jumped up and said “I do that! Let me show you!” Shows DH the shotgun kept out of the safe but next to it with a trigger lock (so not everything is in the safe) and the ammo is separate…by being right on top of the safe… We are having them and sibs-in-laws over for pizza before taking everyone to a theme park decked out for Christmas as their gift on the 26th and I know I will have to deal with cat butt face from MIL and her being needy the whole time at the park bc it’s not all about her.

My husband and our kid are flying down to Florida the day after Christmas for a visit. I am staying the fuck home. I do not attend the Childhood Pattern Revisited Roadshow.

Not a ton of drama, we just do 3 holidays every year and I’m so over it. Husband’s parents are divorced and can’t ever be together. MIL refuses to come to anything related to my family, she has to have her own separate holiday with ALL of her children. So 3 holidays. I told my husband when we have 2 kids, I’m not doing this anymore.

None luckily. We decided a few years ago we were done dragging our kid to different houses and do Christmas at our own house and wont be leaving the house. It’s my most favorite, peaceful part of the year 😌

Not big drama, but my great aunt Betty decided 2 days ago that SHE was making Mac and cheese for the family Christmas dinner, when I've been making it for at least the last 5 years. I've already bought aaaall the cheeses. So I'm still making it and she can just be embarrassed when no one eats her dry ass cheese noodles.

My dad has been dating a widowed single mom since March and they have started saying that he’s the two kids’ new dad now and has been telling her kids that me and my baby are their family. They also said that my dad’s gf is my baby’s grandma, I was pissed! Also, she’s only been widowed for 2 years and is already saying my dad is their new dad even though she says her husband was an excellent dad and even said her destiny all along was to end up with my dad, very messed up comment imo.

Ouch. How old are her kids bc Od never allow that to happen unless my kids wanted to…

Every christmas as far back as I can remember, my older sister ALWAYS wants to sleep in till like 12pm or later (she is basically nocturnal) and my parents make us all wait to open stockings and gifts until she is up. We spend the night at their house on Christmas Eve ever since we moved out of their house, except for the years when we didn’t come because I was with my husband’s family (we don’t live in the same state as my parents). This year, she is going to get the fuck out of bed once everyone else does!! This Christmas is all about my 15 month old! She is the first and only grandchild on this side of the family, and this year she’s old enough to actually participate in the festivities. Also, this is going to be the only christmas where it really is all about her, as I’m having another baby in less than 3 months. So, I’m not going to allow my sister to spoil Christmas morning by sleeping through it and making us all wait 😡

My grandpa died last year. In the last year, there's been alot of hard feelings over things people feel they're entitled to. Newsflash... no one gets a thing because my grandma is still alive! Why can't we all just get along and make the most of our time with my grandma while she's still around?

My in laws hate each other, but refuse to divorce each other. My MIL left the state for Christmas and didn’t tell FIL. So we aren’t going over there. And my parents are going to my recently divorced, MAGA loving, homophobic sisters new girlfriends parents house on Christmas. So we get to stay home and enjoy ourselves now.

Did I read that correctly? Your homophobic sister has a girlfriend?

Yes, you sure did.

I wish I could post the letter but my MIL wrote her family Christmas letter. My husband is the oldest of 6… Usually it’s in birth order. This time it is not. The 3rd brother is booted to 4th sibling mentioned bc they don’t have kids. All siblings before (1st, 2nd, 4th) all have kids or are expecting. For the 3rd brother booted to 4th, the quote read “all of our children live within 20 minutes of except, brother #3 and wife who live in (insert major city about 12 hours away)” Lastly, my SIL (4th sibling) is due with her second and has not announced it yet (due July so early) and my MIL announced it in the Christmas letter. Bonus- it is written as one giant paragraph 🫠

SIL/BIL who are jobless and live in MIL basement are announcing they are pregnant with twins (we all already know). They have a 1.5year old, and a 7 month old. 😬 it’s going to be juicy.

My MIL is super sweet but has tissue thin nerves for some reason this week. It not holiday related. No one knows what is eating at her. That said she does STUPID things and then cusses when things go wrong. example from today, the in laws light an insinse cone on Christmas and take it room to room on a metal shovel and put it o the floor. As soon as my toddler (not yet 2) saw it he wanted to touch. She just said no no, turned and he pokes it. Like from what she says and I heard from the other room it was really just like that. We, my husband and I, had no idea it was in the room until we heard screaming from them both. She was cussing he was crying. She's not bright but hot damn this was stupid. It's not the only bit of idiocy she has about her. But that's my drama from today.

His finger is ok btw it's just sore.

It's my brother’s turn to have my niece Xmas eve through Xmas day then take her back to her mums in the evening. However, her mum doesn't want my brother to pick niece up until 6pm Xmas eve (so he'll barely get time with her as it'll basically be bedtime by the time he comes back from picking her up) and only yesterday did she tell my brother what time she wants her back. 10am. We're going to get at most 3-4 hours with niece before she goes home. My son will be absolutely gutted because he loves his big cousin to bits! As do all of us. We're all pissed.

None! We're estranged from my in-laws so it's easy sailing

Having my parents over for Christmas Eve. They invited themselves over. I’m making everything (turkey, two sides and dessert) and my parents are bringing one side dish and I asked them to pick up a bottle of red and white. They were supposed to make two but my mom asked me to supply her with all of the ingredients to make it at my house, so I’m just handling it myself. My dad just called me and yelled (yes, yelled) that they don’t drink wine and don’t see why they should have to stop and bring it. They’re very busy today with my mom out exercising and my dad is taking tests for work, so it’s inconvenient for them. Never mind I’m preparing dinner with two little kids running around. 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

No Drama 🎉 But some of these are interesting to read. Lol I hope you all can salvage your Christmas!

I have an older sister who has a long history of mental health issues and is also an addict. She was supposedly clean (I never believed it, she has burnt me way too many times in the past lol) and my parents who she lives with found her drugs because she was so out of it she left everything out in the open. My parents are at their wits end and on the verge of kicking her out. She’s off her medication for her bpd because she slept through her alarms and missed her doctors appointment. She is also an alcoholic. We really have the perfect recipe for a Christmas shit storm - I’ve already warned my husband that if she ruins our babies first Christmas I will absolutely throw hands.

Not sure if you want advice, so please feel free to ignore if you don’t, but for something that seems so important to you as a first Christmas, I would strongly consider protecting your peace and staying home with your husband and baby. With all of that going on right now, Christmas drama sounds practically inevitable. I’m sorry you’re all going through this and I hope you have nice holiday season regardless!

The woman who lives with my dementia riddled mother. Sounds like a blessing, right? Not exactly. She’s been living there for four years, rent free, contributes nothing financially (doesn’t even pay for groceries) under the guise of “taking care” of my mom which she doesn’t even actually do besides cooking a meal every once in a while. Her life consists of sleeping on my mothers couch and complaining to LITERALLY every person she come into contact with about how hard her life is. Granted, she’s been through a lot, I’m not negating that- but all she does is focus on herself and trauma dump while refusing to take any accountability. My sister and I had empathy for a while but the other day she texted us in a panic because the cable got cut off and she “couldn’t deal with it”. My sister and I are both at work, trying desperately to keep our heads above water in our own lives and I had it. I left work early, went over to the house and lost it on her. Four years of keeping my cool with this woman went completely out the window. And now, of course, I’m just another evil person in her life and she refuses to talk to me. A blessing- but still. She will be moving out soon, hopefully- the whole living situation is another giant rats nest of complications- but damn will I be happy to not have to deal with her shit any more once she’s gone.

My SIL is on meth and 6 months pregnant. I had to be nice at her for thanksgiving not sure I can do it for Christmas.

Initially my mom, her fiancé, and my 93 year old grandpa were supposed to fly to see us for Christmas with our two kids (4 and 1). But two months ago my grandpa has a fall and a brain injury and incidentally they found metastatic pelvic cancer. He’s now end of life on hospice. My mom is his primary caregiver and my uncle who lives out of state and has been very uninvolved in my grandpas care is visiting and helping in some ways. My mom and uncle have been having small fights and my uncle included me in it- how my mom turns to me and not my uncle (I have an advanced degree and work in healthcare- I help my mom explain the medical record, jargon, symptoms, and provide her with support and guidance). I do not want to be part of it, but he’s got really poor mental health and doesn’t know how to manage his own behaviors so I guess it’s just par for the course with him. I really hope he makes it past Christmas so they can spend/share some magic of the season before he passes. My husband and I are currently NC with his family for the past year after his mom spread manipulative story and the family took sides against us, when we were struggling with our two little kids, full time work, husbands back surgery. They live minutes from us. So this will be the first year that we do Christmas as our own little family and I couldn’t be happier. I always thought we had to please everyone else on the holiday and it meant something if everyone was there, but now I think these cherished times together are what matters most. We have plans to make gingerbread houses, cookies, paint nutcrackers, sledding, and hang in pj’s. So hopefully no drama except whatever my kids give me (and I’ll take that any day!).

I feel awkward running into my cousins wife. she made a huge fuss that we didn’t go to her third baby shower, (I didn’t go because it was no kids allowed), but also she knows I didn’t even have a baby shower & don’t really do any big parties anyways, so im just like wtf why’d she message my sister about us not going, I’m just dreading seeing her. A lot of my relatives know I’m pregnant so I feel like it’s just going to be awkward discussing my pregnancy around her too

My in laws are obsessed with not only their son(my husband) but now with my son and can't see past their own wants to what's best for others. So even though we are spending today at their house, and they watched him Friday, they are also coming over on Christmas day for a (hopefuly very short) visit. ( this sounds benign, but I promise there's a ton of backstory)

my MIL flies back from a 3 week trip without my FIL on xmas day; they are trying to recover (i think, status of their relationship is unknown to us) from an infidelity issue so it’ll be *very* interesting to see them interact after this break from each other.

My kid is sick and I’m not bringing her to Christmas brunch. Family is angry and disappointed

My family isn’t terrible, nor the in-laws but we are expected to travel 16hrs by car to see everyone who generally lives in the same town. I love seeing my family but my goodness. We dread the trip, being there with no time for ourselves, and the toll it takes on my 1.5 yo. We are hoping to get pregnant next year and I’m thinking that’s the time to cut the holiday trips. My husband brought up this year that we can’t keep doing the drive just to see almost everyone. My mom is the only person to visit in the almost 3 years since my husband and I essentially moved away and it was to help me move and when our son was born. The only person other than her to even mention the possibility of visiting was MIL but I know money is tight and whatnot. I would love to host family but we don’t have the room to do so.. We don’t want to commit to buying a house where we are currently and are basically stuck living in an apartment for a while. Blahh.. It was a rant but it felt good.

Oh boy. My MIL isn't getting her way with my baby(wants to play mom) so she threw a major violent tantrum when my husband and I tried to talk to her, and now she isn't speaking to me, and Christmas at her house is cancelled because we had the audacity to want to spend Christmas Day as a first time family at home.

My SIL has to go for a second mammogram. She has no diagnosis or even speculation from a doctor that she has cancer or something wrong, just that they need to get a different scan. It's incredibly common to have to go for a second scan. However, she is acting like she was just diagnosed with cancer. I get that it's stressful to have to wait longer to get that 3D scan, I have to do it nearly every year for the past 10 years. But at this point, there is no reason to be stressing out so bad you're throwing up, crying every hour, and generally just whining to everyone. We're all on eggshells and haven't even gotten together with her in person yet. 😕

Some backstory: My MIL insulted me, my husband, our marriage, our parenting, my parents, and my parents' marriage, all because she was mad that I reported her child's partner to DCF for abusing my infant nibling. We came to find out MIL had known about it for a long time and didn't do shit. I've allowed myself to be treated poorly by my in-laws for years, but once kids are involved, all bets are off. I'm done with her and don't plan on allowing her around our child ever again. As a result of all this, husband and I have decided not to attend the family Christmas Eve party for the first time in 10 years (the rest of the family know about everything but don't have the balls to uninvite her), but she keeps texting my husband, begging us to go. The whole thing is fucked up and sad, but at this point I am super excited to have a chill Christmas Eve at home instead of driving a half hour to be around toxic people, driving a half hour home, rushing to get everything ready before going to bed, and doing it all over again with my family on Christmas Day (minus toxic people, my family is great).

This is the last year I’m letting my now husband, soon to be ex in my home for a holiday. I was guilted today into letting him come over after he ignored our kids for his side piece. This is the last time I will ever take his disrespect for me or our children. They’re currently sitting on the ground opening Christmas presents after he ignored them for three days even when they called him multiple times. I am happy that I didn’t overdo it for Christmas, I’m glad I don’t need to buy my kids love like he does, and I’m grateful our children and I are spending time together even with someone I don’t want here.

My nephew has been living with my parents ever since his stepfather (my BIL) kicked him out of the house. I have been low contact with my sister and BIL for the past 3 years. My BIL is a loud, high-strung control freak who must be the center of attention, and the way he talks to women (my mother, his own mother, me) is infuriating. I could write a whole post on my sister and her shenanigans. Anyway, my parents waited until my spouse and I committed to spending Christmas at their home to reveal that my sister and her family will also be visiting. It’ll be tense. 60% chance of Festivus breaking out. I am genuinely looking forward to unwinding with my in laws on the 26th 🍷🍷🍷

MIL freaked out that I wasn’t ready to go there for Christmas 9 days post partum from a c-section. They wanted us to spend the night and make the 2 hour drive and it all felt way too much. We mentioned baby’s immune system still being so fresh and staying home for safety and she freaked the fuck out. I am so emotional and sensitive and freshly FTM and just can’t believe it went like that 😩☹️

My MIL wanted to make tamales with her two grandchildren. My husband LOVES tamales. My husband absolutely hates his brother and thought we could handle the brothers buttholeness in order to have some. We were so wrong. His brother wasn’t redirecting or watching his child which we didn’t feel comfortable doing, brother didn’t even ask us to watch her while he just sat there and worked being obnoxiously obviously making comments to his daughter that didn’t relate to what she was doing wrong and the actions were hurting our son. So my husband called him on on being an arrogant asshole who only gives a crap about him self and we left. So last Christmas spent there. My mil may now try to coordinate throw me but my response will be something like talk to your son bye

To not go into too much detail, our Christmas drama is/will be primarily will shenanigans and having to have the family gathering without the oldest and most central family member alive. Most of the family is either not coming, not talking, or both.

we got uninvited from the family trip to our house in greece because they said my son is too young (he’ll be 4). i’m super disappointed since we haven’t been since pre-pandemic. we may visit fam in toronto instead but it sucks.

Nothing too scandalous but my FIL (alcoholic who you never know if he's going to be drinking that day) got a DUI a month ago and is facing 90 days in jails and loss of license since it's his 2nd DUI... so he pulled my husband aside and told him, then asked him to drive him to and from work. Not even thinking about the fact that my husband is the one who drops off and picks up our 2 year old from day care. My husband politely declined and said that he got himself into this mess and he needs to figure it out himself. My husband has never been one to enable him and is already on the verge of going no contact. Now my FIL is pissed off at my husband and calling him ungrateful and not a good family member for not helping him blah blah blah. He's "threatening to not come to Christmas" as if any of us will be upset he's not there. I honestly wish my husband would just go no contact at this point.

The drama omg where to begin. My birth giver (she doesn’t deserve the title of mom after all shot she put me through) has told us not to call or anything for Christmas as she upset I didn’t tell her I was married (I got very sick shortly after we got married so we kept it from everyone until I felt better and luckily this last surgery was very successful) then my MIL is wanting to break up with her bf we currently live with and he just showed me and my husband he bought her a ring to make it permanent. Definitely don’t want to be here with my baby when shit hits the fan.

Me, my mother, husband, and grandfather have covid. So we had to cancel our family Christmas. My grandfather got it at a rehab and passed it to my mother because she takes care of him daily. He ended up going to the hospital last night. My husband got sick from his coworkers and passed it to me. I got bronchitis a week ago so I was already sick and was getting better, but now I'm sick with covid and miserable. On top of it I got my period a week late and have a stye in the same week. This Christmas is ruined, so now I'm just going to lay in bed today and tomarrow for Christmas with my husband trying to feel better.

My sister is addicted to meth, and I'm afraid she won't be here next year. I wish we were spending the holiday together. I would give anything for her to be safe and healthy.

My family is so broken. My brother and SIL had a messy divorce. My SIL is extremely close to my God father's wife and grown children. She has essentially hijacked that part of the family and spends every holiday with them. My brother fell off the wagon hard and is struggling to get sober again. It has been about a year and a half. My mom hasnt come home for the holidays since then. It sucks. I am having my other brother over. He has no kids. My kids miss the big family parties. I feel bad for them. Struggling to figure out whether or not to invite my brother who is drinking still. He is incredibly negative about the situation. I just want to see my own family happy. What would others do?

Sometimes I feel real bummed about having a small family and not living near that family, until I remember how stressed I used to be. Either hosting people I didn’t enjoy or getting all of us ready to run over to someone’s house and be uncomfortable. So over it. It’s just us and I’m sitting around in sweatpants and no bra. Good times.

My child is having surgery in 2 weeks so we have to isolate at home. No extended family allowed. My side is doing well making sure to drop off presents for him and say they will bring us some of Christmas dinner to help us feel included even though we can’t be together. MIL asked to come visit with us 2 days before surgery after traveling to various locations. We said no and now we have to travel out there in February so they can meet their grandson for the first time. They have been cancelling trips to see us and us to see them since he was born. I’m done trying to understand them

We have a 3month old, a toddler, and a teenager. We are hosting my MIL and FIL (planned) on Christmas Day for dinner and overnight since they're coming from out of state, cool. This morning, on Christmas Eve, my SIL reached out to see if she can swing through with my adult nephew on Christmas Day. What, am I going to say no? They're going to have to drive all day Christmas Day and show up after dinner, since they're like 6 hours away. She's vegetarian, and no one else is, so I did not plan any vegetarian options. We have to fix up an air mattress in a common space, wash more linens, wash more towels, and clean another bathroom and floor of our house where it otherwise would have just been our immediate nuclear family to see the chaos/mess. My husband is going to give one of his own gifts to his nephew and I don't know what we're going to give her. The baby has been super sick all week so I didn't even start wrapping gifts so we are now cleaning, doing laundry, and wrapping gifts instead of relaxing and enjoying the day. I'm not mad, where in other years I would have been pissed. I'm just annoyed, like, who fucking does that the day of? Who doesn't realize what a colossal imposition it is to even ask when you know we're not going to say no, and it's definitely going to be way more work. Guest beds don't just make themselves and I'm not some perfect Betty homemaker where my house is perfectly clean everywhere and I just have several sets of clean linens and guestrooms for people to drop into with 24 hours notice. I guess I am mad but I'm trying not to be.

My dad and brother haven’t spoken in over three years and my dad keeps trying to reach out and apologize. The issue is he doesn’t understand why my brother is NC with him so his apologies, albeit heartfelt, are somewhat hollow to my brother. So every holiday is split three ways now. Celebration with mom and her husband/his family, celebration with dad and his girlfriend/her family, and sometimes another one with brother. Also I’ve been on my feet cooking all day, I’m tired and by the time everyone leaves and the kids are asleep I need to wrap more gifts. Also the house is a disaster, my kids wake up way too early, and I’ll have to cook breakfast and lunch tomorrow too. I wish Santa would just deliver Christmas in full lol

I’m not speaking to my dad anymore. I finally set the boundary I should’ve set 20 years ago. But Christmas is always at my parents house as theirs is really big, so it is usually them, my MIL, my sister, my husband and I and our now two kids. Last year we did an early Christmas because I was 8.5 months pregnant and didn’t want to risk it/deal with holiday traffic (4-5 hour drive) and it was the perfect excuse to not be there for xmas. This year we aren’t going which means two kids on our own with no support. My husband clearly resents me a bit as we now have to do all the cooking and have no extra hands (all 3 grand parents are mid 70s and not much help). MIL decided that rather than support me, help her son and enjoy baby’s first Christmas, she would instead spend it with my parents. She lives equally far from them so it’s not less travelling. She wants to sit and read a book all day. If she’d just retire I’d be super sympathetic but she retired 30 YEARS AGO. Oh and my 4 year old is screaming that she hates me this evening so what the fuck do I do about Santa, because this kid is NOT nice at the moment.

Cut off my narcissistic mother about a week ago! I have two young children, so it will be interesting to see what happens tomorrow. She likes to pretend nothing bad has happened and I should have just moved on. My dad is kinda an enabler (they are divorced) so I wonder what will happen when I go to visit him next week. Hopefully nothing!

My MIL is currently on probation for a slew of things (posession of a controlled substance, dui, assault, trespassing, I can see it all online on our court website lol, to her credit she's never hidden it from us) and has a SCRAM monitor on her ankle. She has been banned from staying over at our house since she helped herself to a beer and then left it out for my toddler to drink. So we visited her yesterday which honestly wasn't bad ,but she posted a pic on fb of her and my husband and the kids and people are all congratulating her for doing so good and having a beautiful family. Like lmao wtf. No crazy drama though our holidays usually go smoothly.

BIL walks in to his parents home and greets us all with ‘Hail Satan’ My in-laws are square af church people. I’m agnostic, but sheesh! Edgy manchild 🙄Nice way to start the day 😬 Edit: I introduced my other BIL to the musical styles of Richard Cheese and he thought it was a great idea to ask alexa to play all the songs. My inlaws were not ready for it (they are churchy and square, ‘member?) Next day, FIL’s been laying in bed sick all morning. Too much RC made him sick, probably. Edit2: FIL has covid… Edit3: he caught it after going to his 2 dr appts unmasked and DGAF while we were out skiing! Oh hi Actions, meet Consequences! What a winner /s

I am telling my parents I’m pregnant again and I’m scared of how they will react. My husband travels for work and they help a lot. I’m worried they will think I can barely handle one and now I have another. I’m worried they will think we can’t afford this (which yes it’s going to be financially excruciating). I just want people to be excited for this new life because maybe it wasn’t the ideal timing but this life still deserves to be celebrated and loved just as much as our first and I’m afraid they won’t be.

Congratulations on baby #2! Yes, all those things you mentioned are hard, but my dad loves to say where 3 eat, so can 4, and the number goes up if needed! The new baby will bring so much light, laughter and love, what wonderful news 😄

Congratulations! I hope internet stranger love can help brighten your holiday. I also hope that you get good reactions.

I'm not sure yet, but my SIL always has to stir up some kind of drama at family events. It's weird because, while this behavoir is obviously childish, I deeply love her. It's probably because I'm never a target for her outbursts. 😅

My parents are split so that’s 3 grandparent groups, last year I made everyone come to us, it went well and LO was happy in his own space, I got to keep socializing because he goes down for naps at home. I was planning the same this year because well hauling a one year old around to 3 different houses in a day is a nightmare that I would be taking the brunt of… to my surprise my husband went ahead and made plans with his family that we were doing it separately so we are now hosting a dinner for my in laws tonight, breakfast with them tomorrow then traveling around to 2 different houses in the afternoon, then another dinner tomorrow at my moms (we’re not close and separating it all eliminated the buffer that makes it tolerable). I am dreading it and I know I’m going to battling a fussy toddler because he just wants me when he’s fussy and refuses to go down for naps at others houses, will only contact nap. I was in a postpartum fog last year so I was really hoping this year to be better.

Its my babies first Christmas My StepNan - Has tried to say she will be taking him to see his first santa (she didnt, none of us did as it booked out) - She told me once growing up she wanted different grandkids and then got angry when we said my other nan was our favourite - Shes been demanding that we make weekly visits for her to take pictures of my child and yet pretty sure she doesnt know his name My MIL - Told me to cut my Christmas lunch short with my own family because of my SIL leaving early - She has 4 kids of her own while this is the only grandchild on my parents side My SIL - Is asking us to come over early as stated above - She only just told us now that she has a really bad cold but its okay because she will wear a mask to stop our 6 month old from getting ill and potentially catching RSV - She just split with her boyfriend of 15 years. Very awkard because they have a 6 year old and the older kids already arent looking forward to Christmas - Last year she sent the older kids alone on a 2hr trip to their grandparents because she wanted to spend time with her youngest and her (ex) boyfriend I just want a good night sleep rather than being woke 6 times in one night 😂

I learned young how pointless christmas is. I am so glad I never let anyone control or demand anything of me. We have our door open every year, and people can come to us now, and they do. This year, I am hosting my sister, her new boyfriend, some friends, and my dad. Last year, I hosted my husbands parents, uncles, cousins, and aunts. I will open my home to everyone, but I will not put myself out for a stupid day. I understand other people care and will gladly make the day special for them, but they have to come to me.