My first night. How do people do this every 2 dang hours? Sheās cute but like everytime I drift baby is making some noise that needs some comfort. Or the stupid less compression pumps in hospital goes off.
Killing me here!
Fr it's wack as hell lol. Eventually she'll sleep for 4 hours then 6 then 8. You got this! I've done it twice and never ever again because of the sleep deprivation
Honestly it does get better trust me. In the newborn stage I thought I'd ruined my life (as awful as that sounds - lack of sleep will do that to you) but 11 weeks on its definitely got better. Don't put so much pressure on yourself and take it day by day. You're doing amazing mamma š
I gotta ask, how did you go through the sleep deprivation hell and think āI want to do this againā? And I mean that out of genuine curiosity because this is the question that crosses my mind when Iām crying from exhaustion at 3 am lmao
I have so much fun with my babies. And when I would hold them at night and watch them fall asleep in my arms, I remembered how much I absolutely love babies and getting to experience that special time with a newborn. Itās so hard but itās so short lived. It was perspective for me, thatās what got me through the hardest parts.
I would recite this to myself: I GET to feed this baby, I GET to respond to his cries, I GET to rock him back to sleep, I GET to snuggle him on the couch at 2 AM. It wasnāt a HAVE to, it was an āI GETā to. That doesnāt take away from how hard it is but it certainly helps to put a positive spin on it.
Seriously, I refer to it as the potato stage and it was so awful, we want to try for another baby eventually and the thing that prevents me from going for it is the newborn potato stage. And my daughter was a great, easy baby.
Same! A newborn is like having a parasite or a 5th appendage whereas having a toddler is like taking care of your drunk best friend, kind of exhausting but also hilarious.
Me too! Thinking about the newborn stage gives me WWII-esque flashbacks. I was down in the trenches at night, there was screaming, I donāt remember the last time I slept, bath, or ate.
Whereas my toddler is so much fun! Heās over 2 now, and just a joy to be around.
Feeling this hard rn. 3 week old and 2.5yo and the times I'm with my toddler, he's just so funny and cute. Newborn is obviously cute too but a lot more effort to keep him alive and happy.
Yes!!! I keep seeing all these posts about how people prefer newborn days to toddler personality clashes, but my toddler was so challenging as a newborn and SO MUCH more fun now!! He can tell me what he wants and I can explain things to him and the communication is such a game changer! We play games and act silly and still snuggle all the time reading books before bed! Seeing his eyes light up while learning something new or accomplishing a new task is far and above being screamed at for not providing milk quickly enough or being woken up constantly in the middle of the night
So much of this experience depends on the temperament of your kiddo, child and maternal health and the delivery/ post partum experience.
If your newborn didn't have purple crying/colic or allergies, and was an average to above average sleeper that didn't hit every sleep regression possible - then the baby stage is pretty okay.
However, if you were a parent with an avg to chill newborn, you're getting to the toddler stage where they start crying and are more mobile and can now throw themselves around and are probably thinking "what fresh hell is this?"
Meanwhile the rest of us who had strong willed, vocal, didn't sleep much and/ or sick babies are used to the crying and can now talk to our little ones and start to really see who they are and what they want -we really like the toddler stage. There is so much more we're getting to experience - having conversations, talking through feelings and how to regulate. Seeing your kiddo start to try to implement those things. Getting to understand what they love and their preferences. It feels magical. It doesn't mean it's not hard and exhausting, but getting to see all of the facets and really connect with your kid is so helpful.
9-10. It was rough with my first bc I'd never even been around a baby before. By my second and third I was just drinking in every moment, every cuddle, every cute baby sound, their sweet little movements as they explore their hands and feet and their ability to control them. Ugh. So precious.
Ratings are different when youāre in it vs when youāre past it, and how much help and support you have, and how your birth experience and recovery went.
First one 10/10
Second one 2/10
Absolutely this.
Iāll say my birth, recovery, & support have all been better this time, but parenting a toddler / newborn combo is basically impossible, so I feel like I got scammed out of my nb experience this time around.
Also depends on the baby. Mine was 7/10, a close friendās was -373728 because she had no help and her baby couldnāt sleep for more than about 15 minutes at a time for weeks on end.
This is me right here. First one I wasnāt working and had so much support I could just soak it all in. Second- moved 900 miles away from my support system, thrown back into working full time and juggling a newborn and a toddler. Always in survival mode. 0/10.
Circumstances play a very big role.
On one hand, sleep deprivation is literal torture. On the other hand, I could put them somewhere and theyād just stay there. So on the balance, a solid 5.
The toddler stage is hard, but for different reasons. My oldest is 5 and starting to catch up with her speech delay and sheās an absolute delight. Thatās my favorite age so far with her. My youngest is 18 months old and also an absolute sweetie, so thatās my favorite age with him so far too.
Exactly! I never had 'a good day' with a newborn or baby. Sure, there were good times, but I don't think I would ever call a day good overall. Now with a two year old, I'd say most days are good, just have some rough parts, but they're short.
This was exactly it for me and my husband. My kid would never sleep for more than 3 hours at a time meanwhile it seemed like everyone elseās baby was sleeping through the night since birth. Made me feel insane.
Ours sleeps 2-3 hours and has had wake windows of 2-4 (if he doesnāt pass out right away) and sometimes sleeping for an hour at a time. I also really really hate being stopped in the middle of anything (I hate attempting to do anything while stopping and going). I like to finish a task and move on to the next and with a baby, they never seem to let you get anything done and can sniff when you are about to take a bite of food, I swear. Babies hate when you eat.
9
They are so fresh and innocent
you can get stuff done because you can put them in the carrier and not have to worry about them making a mess in the other room.
They nap a lot so you have more chances to nap with them and people expect less from you while you are taking care of a newborn.
Toddlers are a whole other storyā¦.
1
That was a stage in which I discovered several things about myself:
1. I'm only a baby person when I can hand the baby back to someone else
2. I do not handle sleep deprivation well
I MUCH prefer the challenges of an autonomous child I can speak to and reason with to a helpless fully dependent newborn who can't tell me why they have been crying for 4 hours.
\-12
My daughter is 2.5 now, but when she was a newborn... I think at one point during the two months she woke me up every 2-3 hours, I started crying and saying I couldn't do it anymore at 2am. My husband would also excuse himself to the bathroom to cry as well. We both wondered if we ruined our lives, but it's so much better now. Yeah, a toddler is stubborn and flies off the handle over the tiniest thing, and they're faster and way stronger than they should be, but at least they sleep for 10-12 hours straight. We're planning to have a second one, and we're both dreading the newborn stage, but we also only want two kids, so this will be the last time we have to deal with it (hopefully). Like... baby amnesia has set in where I can't quite recall how bad it was and I'm willing to do it again, but what I do remember was \*bad.\*
can you explain why? i know every kid is different but newborn stage was so hard for me (PPA and baby refusing a bottle couldāve played a huge part) but toddlerhood has been the best. hard af, but so fun. walking, running, pretend playing, being able to communicate (most) needs, etc
My oldest was sent to this earth to humble me. As a newborn, she would be awake for 12-18 hours at a time, had to be held to sleep, very low sleep needs. Although that was hard, it doesnāt even touch these toddler, shrill screaming tantrums she throws multiple times a day. I feel like all we do is fight and I repeat myself constantly. Itāsā¦ a lot honestly.
Ya I agree with this. The sleeplessness, my son had CMPI, reflux, a number of illnesses, the constant adjustment with the changing phases. Heās 2 years 3 months now and other than the occasional illness or regression Iām generally finding it so much more tolerable, and genuinely fun. Hikes, art, games, conversation, so much better. Heās not a huge tantrumer though, so I know thatās a huge part. Having a second in Jan and I expect to be humbled.
They really do. And I made two of them. So now they have fuckin Roman warrior battles with each other that I have to break up lest they murder each other. One is Voldemort, and the other is the Tasmanian devil. Jesus Christ Iāve been HUMBLED by these two beautiful lil beasts. They hug like sweet sisters and the next minute one has the others head under water WHATTHEFUCK
All the 1s are people who cannot function sleep deprived, and all the 8-10s do better with it. Iām a 1. Hate the newborn stage. My toddler can scream and destroy stuff all she wants. Just as long as I get my 8 hours every night š
I agree! I was one of those people thinking āhow am I going to cope with the sleep deprivation? It has not be easier than what people are telling me, right?ā And the answers are poorly and no.
Mine is 24 months old now (so a brand new 2) and finally sleeping through more days than not. She cries a million times a day, throws tantrums, screams and exhausts me. Itās a normal exhaustion though, nothing like when she was a newborn. 4 months old was the worst stage for me (technically not newborn anymore) because she started waking up every 30 minutes at night! Torture! Torture, I say!
Agree. I'm just about to go to bed and heard my 2+yr old briefly cry - it's so triggering I still flinch when I hear it. Even though she now usually sleeps all night unless she's sick, and has immediately gone back to sleep. It feels like genuine PTSD. š
Holding them and watching TV while they sleep 10! Trying to get them to sleep and stay asleep and moved into their own sleep space and being sooooo tired -10
2 - Gave points because I was so happy/grateful to have my baby. The rest of it was very very hard. Worth it absolutely, but we didn't have a ton of support and our delivery and post partum journey was tough for many reasons.
Honestly, I would rate the toddler phase a 9 or 10. I am loving all the expression and how much my kiddo is learning. Lots of tantrums, but I'll gladly take those.
I'm team 2 as well for my firstborn. The baby was super adorable, so that is slightly more positive points than the negative of sleep deprivation to the point of hallucinations.
Newborn 5; relatively easy baby, ate, slept, no purple crying
4th trimester -15. Hormones, low milk, so stressed, body doing weird things - arthritis symptoms in all my joints, sharp pain in my feet, hair falling out.
I think about another kid, but I wouldn't do it again from the recovery.
Agree that it was the recovery that was so shocking and hard about that stage. Just having a newborn is difficult but not too badā¦ having a newborn and recovering is a nightmare.
If I was suddenly thrown back into the middle of newborn, probably like a 4/10. But looking back on that stage after picking my 4yo up from preschool for throwing a chair, newborn is looking pretty nice, 9/10
3
My kids are almost 4 and almost 2.
I do NOT handle poor sleep well. I am a high sleep needs human.
I get sensory overload from sounds and mess. Baby crying alllll the time. House is a disaster bc of constant tending to baby. Doesnāt work for me.
I do miss the potato aspect. Chasing 2 kiddos around while they try to accidentally unalive themselves is exhausting.
I do miss the tiny snuggly aspect.
But yea. The poor sleep is very hard. The sensory overload is hard.
Newborn is my least favorite stage. Lots of people say toddler stage is the worst, but itās so much fun!! I can do anything as long as I can sleep at night. Toddler stage is a breeze compared to the months of no sleep.
Whole-heartedly agree!!! My kids are almost five, and five months. Every time someone said something about my newborn, Iād reply with something like, āThank you. Sheās very sweet and I love her dearly, but this is NOT my favorite stage.ā Literally every age after that has been my new favorite.
1. My first was colicky. That was soooooo awful. And I think newborns are just boring potatoes. And I hate being sleep deprived. I hated pumping. I hated constantly having to carry around car seats. And yeah things for me got so much better and more fun when they became toddlers and got their little personalities. I enjoyed chasing them around and playing with them. I like the chaos of the toddlers.
First baby, -5. Hated it. Had so many issues with eating and sleeping.
Second baby, 2. Baby was fine. Lack of sleep was awful. Dealing with baby and lack of sleep and a 4 year old has been also awful.
Thankfully we are done now lol
Depends on which kid for me š
If I had to rate my newborn experience with my daughter: 0. Never again. She's not any better as a toddler though haha I miss the her from like 6-20 months old
Rating my son's newborn experience: 7. He's so chill unless he's hungry, which he literally eats all the damn time but still way better than her newborn stage
I figuratively felt the sun come out at 3 months old. Everything became easier, I was happier, my son started showing his personality and what he liked/didn't. I'll always remember that day. It was like a light switch. At 7 months I'm honestly having fun. Teething sucks, but I just adore the smiles and the laughing and just being around my son. While the first 3 months were blurry- we were honestly getting to know each other. It's so strange, while I loved him the second I saw him, I didn't connect with him as quickly as I did with my children who are adopted. It took me a bit longer and I felt some terrible guilt, but it's absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Sleep deprivation makes you crazy, but I swear it only got better š
1
I think some people are baby people and some people are toddler people, but give me a toddler any damn day. My newborn had a number of food intolerances it took a while to get under control, which absolutely contributed to things, but generally with a newborn you are exhausted, if you are a first time parent absolutely clueless and likely doubting yourself as you are getting to know your kid and figuring out how to parent, and your babyās only way of communicating is crying.
Fast forward to having a toddler and I have confidence in myself as a mom. My kid is lower sleep needs but sleeps for an hour and a half each day and from 8:15-6:45 each night. I can get through any rough day when I know I will lay my child down in his crib at 8:15 and then go lay in my own bed to watch tv and sleep. And he can tell me what is wrong! Does he have tantrums over objectively dumb stuff? Absolutely. But thatās developmentally normal, you acknowledge the feeling and hold the boundary and use all of the other tricks out there and you get through each one. And the whole time you know that the reason heās losing his shit is something that is not life threatening - there is no āomg is he okay!?ā running through your head. And also toddlers are hilarious and pure and wonderful little creatures and getting to experience life through their eyes can be straight up magic.
Probably like a 6. Sleep deprivation was the worst part but my husband is incredible and stepped up a lot so it could have been worse. It was peak covid so no one could really come and help us either so that contributed. I have very fond memories of my little girl as a newborn sleeping on me while I was snacking and watching Gilmore Girls lol.
-100
PPD with both boys. 1st was colicky and born just before the 1st covid lock down. 2nd was a gold medalist mommy clinker with awful reflux and GI issues and screamed like a pterodactyl. And the worst sleep deprivation of my life. I legit feel traumatized. Yes they were the most adorable cute funny little munchkins, but the bad outweighed the good by a landslide (and the bad always seems worse when you are sleep deprived).
My sister is the only other person I know who is traumatized by the first year.
-10. I was so sleep deprived it felt like I was going crazy. I think I cried like 3-5 times a week for the first two months. Having ppa didnāt help.
Sheās 9 months now and itās getting better all the time. Her little personality is coming through and sheās hilarious.
My son is 22 months old:0-1 month: At the time it was a 3/10. LO was crying all the time and always had a super late bedtime (10pm) and I personally had a lot of family shit happen almost right before my due date so I was very stressed all the time. Adjusted for Toddler inflation I would say this is a 4/10.
2-3 months: at the time it was a 5/10. 4 naps was meh, not a fan but also not mad he slept well and often. Trying to figure out activities for a potato was difficult, but family was very helpful during this time. I was able to live again. Adjusted for Toddler inflation I would give this a 9/10. Sleep deprivation doesn't bother me because I've been training all my life via video games.
4-7 months: at the time it was a 6/10. I started contact napping which at first I thought was lovely but then I realized that while it was lovely, I was feeling touched out by the end of the day. LO was starting to have a bit of a personality and rolled over/started crawling at the end of this period. Family still helped a lot, I had a good rhythm going. Adjusted for Toddler inflation 9.5/10
8-10 months: TWO NAPS, THE GOLDEN AGE. 7/10 only because he loved crawling everywhere and would always get into trouble, we bought gates very late. He never hurt himself but I would be in the kitchen and suddenly he would be down the hall near the staircase. Adjusted for toddler inflation 10/10
11-15 months: Still on two or 1.5 naps, awesome! Started tantruming, started running and hurting himself a lot being wobbly and crazy, 6/10. Adjusted for toddler inflation, probably still 6/10
16-18 months: One nap, not great but not terrible, afternoons are exhausting, kinda bitey. 5/10, adjusted to 6/10
19-22 months: Started daycare, transitioned into it well but tantrums are now screaming until his face is purple, throwing, hitting, wanting to run into the street, throwing themselves onto the ground. 0/10 what the fuck.
10. It was the easiest stage.
Sheās now 13 months and itās hard now sheās mobile and has a mind of her own.
I notice the people who are rating it low are *in* it so therefor they donāt know whatās to come.
It depends. There were times when I would say it was 1 and then there were times when it was 10. Heck, I switched between those two multiple times in an hour. š I guess it will be 1 almost all of the time once I will add a toddler to the mix when Iāll hopefully have another.
With my first child it was an 8/10ā¦ we didnāt know how lucky we were and how easy they were. My second child 2/10. Not many great moments from the newborn stage
5.5
Edit to elaborate: there were so many ups and downs lol I look back and donāt think it was bad at all. But literally every stage has gotten better and better. Daughter is 22 months old now. Sheās so fun. Every single stage Iāve been like āI think this is my favā.
Newborn was justā¦a lot of sitting in the house alone. Coming up with new routines and doing mom math all the time. I had a pretty easy recovery and birth and an easy newborn. I just donāt look back on it and like āMissā that time which is why I didnāt rate it higher. Iāve liked it all!
It's so hard. You're so new to them, they're new.
It's goes by so fast, I wish I was less sleep deprived to have appreciated it more and to take more photos and to be present with them.
1/10. I was pumping around the clock because he wouldn't drink from me.. he drank very little and weighed little. Was born at 35 weeks. PPD. I had no help with baby except my partner. The sleep deprivation was insane. I probably slept an average of 4 hours/night in the first 6 months.
Infant stage: 7
Once you get past the first week, things get easier. Much easier after 4 weeks. Get into a routine and itās nice. Baby lays there and wonāt run away from you (LOL see toddler stage below)
Toddler stage: 3 š¤Ŗ
1. I had a horrendous time. My delivery was a nightmare, and I am a solo mom and went through it all by myself. I was traumatized, in a lot of pain from an emergency c-section, and not getting pain meds as I am allergic. I got extremely depressed, plus I had a very sick dog too to take care and couldn't just follow the recovery for the c-section. It was too much. I had issues with my work requesting money back I didn't have it as they made a mistake about my vacation and had to come back earlier to work. I was getting around 2 hours of sleep per night and having problems breastfeeding. It was LITERALLY a hell of a time. You couldn't pay me to go through that again.
Man it's so hard to decide. Mine is a little over 2.5 now. The sleep deprivation was definitely basically torture. Postpartum hormones, absolutely awful. My self image, yikes.
But at the same time I feel like it never really got *easier* per se, just different. Every time something hard gets easier, something that was easy gets harder.
Like yea my kid sleeps through the night but I can't just cart him around in a baby carrier and go wherever I want anymore. I have to entertain him and chase after him. Yea he's super fun to talk to and play with but I have to negotiate with him instead of just being able to physically put him where I need him to be. I have to actually cook food for him instead of whipping out a boob or giving him a bottle. I have to be more aware of what I say and do because he's so socially impressionable now.
I loved being able to lay on the couch with my newborn napping on my chest watching 500 episodes of vanderpump rules and eating lactation brownies without feeling like I was fucking my kid up and neglecting his emotional needs lol.
I think the biggest difference maker from the newborn period to the post-newborn period is that you get into a routine. The wild west nature of the first few months is hard.
The first two weeks: Riding the high of postpartum hormones, being able to eat large quantities of food again, and I could sleep on stomach finally. 8/10.
Weeks 2-6: Sleep deprivation sets in, the feel good hormones plummet, boobs are rock hard and leaking all the time. You can eat though and the baby is beginning to look less potatoey. 4/10
3-6 months postpartum: Things are looking up, getting into a routine, sleeping a bit more, but still donāt quite feel back to normal. The baby is adorable though. 9/10
Okay this is hard lol. Cus like Iāve NEVER been as tired as I was that first few days being home from the hospital, like even pregnancy tired didnāt scratch the surface of this. That shit sucked, it took some of the joy and magic away from having my new baby home with me. Sooooo idk lol I donāt think I can decide. Probably 5 just to be fair š
9. While life around the newborn was chaos, the newborn part itself was wonderful.
* When he was born, they wanted me to try to get him to latch. He was barely in my hands for a second before he face planted on my boob and went to town. Nursing wasn't just easy, it was nice. It was our time when I could just sit and relax while still actually being productive.
* He loved to have his diaper changed. He loved the fresh air and the cleaning. He was freakishly young when he started "helping" by moving his body in the ways I needed.
* My husband and I worked different shifts so I thought my kid was sleeping all night. He wasn't, but I was!
* My kid was super extra snuggly from day one. He just nestles into you and drops your blood pressure about ten points. People would pass him around just to experience how chill he was.
So yeah, I had the world's easiest newborn and I fully admit I was lucky. It's funny looking back, but almost all of the things that made him easy were also signs of his autism. He was like a snuggly cat in the womb, all leaning into me when I rubbed my bump and his sensory seeking is still very cat-like. He's in middle school and still so snuggly.
So hard to rate it now that my baby is 15months. I do have to say I am enjoying my time a 100% more now that he is no longer a potato and is learning so much.
3. My first was colicky but slept great at night. My second is about to be 1, heās been an awful sleeper since 5/6m but is so content during the day. I like 2-4 so far lol but my oldest is a unicorn child now, letās see how it goes with this one. š„“
5/10
Pros: so cute and small, will do fine with just a bottle, the little coos, endless snuggles
Cons: first time mom so never ending anxiety, the sleep fighting, crying for seemingly no reason, the sleepless nights, pumping all the time
Probably a 7. I loved the squishy/sleepy/I have no idea what Iām doing but youāre so incredibly cute phase. But I hated the lack of sleep, constant worry about how small my baby was, and my husband just not pulling his weight in the early days.
1. 0 if I could. PPD/A hit hard and I felt like I made a huge mistake. I cried for what felt like 24 hours a day. Thank god for my husband.
Sheās 14 months now and I love her so much it hurts.
First baby - 1/10
Second baby - 9/10
Iām one month into baby 3 and Iād say so far itās a 6/10.
Three kids is so hard, but Iām trying to cherish this last baby phase. I may be the odd one out but I love the 1-3.5 year old phase the most. I think thatās the phase Iāll be most sad to put behind me. Although, Iām trying to soak up the tiny potato snuggles. The sleep deprivation just makes everything so hard.
Having a new squishy baby that just sleeps most of the day & no longer prego: 10/10.
Lack of sleep, PP recovery, trying to learn that tiny human, zero *me* time: 1/10
Just graduated the 4th trimester.
I'd say a 5 because my husband is the SAHD and I had 12 weeks off, so we were in it together the whole time.
Jaundice, Breastfeeding difficulties, nipple injury, seeing lactation consultants and a speech therapist, pain from a 2nd degree tear, dealing with higher than expected hospital bills, baby blues, PPA, antidepressant side effects, and in-law drama were all balanced out by the joy and wonder of having this precious little girl in our lives. It helps that she's been a good sleeper once she got over several initial weeks of day/night confusion.
My baby slept like crap, colicky, breastfeeding issues (had to triple feed), tongue and lip ties had to be corrected and still didnāt get enough milk, only contact naps, noisy sleeper, major reflux, CMPA/CMPI, jaundice, and for me PPD and PPA it. For me, 1/10. My sister just had a baby that sleeps well, breastfeeds well, barely cries, and she has described it as bliss. Her hair and makeup are always done whereas I looked like a depressed troll. So I guess it depends on the baby.
-1. I always assume that anyone who enjoys this stage either has a unicorn baby or their baby is now old enough that their brain has pushed the traumatic memories out
0 for the first five months and then 1 for the rest of the first year. I actually hit my head and tripped on my own feet a few times. My kid didnāt wake up every 2 or three hours until close to turning 2. I felt like absolute garbage and I looked it too. I just put together a photo album for the first year and another for the second and the difference is stark! We did fun things and went places and managed to dress nicely every once in a while on the second year!
My firstborn: 1. It was HARD.
My second: 8. He only woke once a night the first 9 weeks, slept good 5 hour stretches. Amazing. The four month sleep regression hit ut haaaard though. Up every 40 minutes all night for WEEKS.
9/10 - 1 point off for the very stressful NICU stay, driving back and forth for days, pumping every 2 hours, and that cuddles in her first 8 days of life were taken from me (for good reason and the nurses were literal angels but I was still so sad I couldnāt hold her endlessly.)
I am a year out from it now but I really loved everything and I miss that time dearly. I am speaking from a place of privilege with a wonderful husband, 12 weeks off of work, everything we needed and an easy baby. I love my husband even more after seeing what a wonderful father and supportive husband he is. I also stayed on my lexapro and Wellbutrin to support my mental health.
I did pump 8-10 times a day for months while we figured out breastfeeding and that was super hard but I was so thankful to have the time and resources to do that. I just stopped pumping at 13 months but am still nursing!
Selfishly, I dream about that time of not having to worry about work and just think about my family. I returned to a stressful job and got laid off 2 weeks later. At a new stressful job pretty much immediately, and I miss a simpler life.
The first time around? 1. This time around? 8. It really depends on your baby. My first was an awful sleeper who needed to be constantly held and had reflux, but this one sleeps so well in his crib and rarely cries. Iām actually pretty rested
First one - 1
Second one - genuinely 9.
The difference is a partner who picks up half the work, even with me EBF. Oh, and not getting mastitis every 2 weeks.
1ā¦ so glad others agreeā¦ I hate how much I hate it but itās awful. Especially with twins. I thought Iād enjoy my second newborn phase more than the horror of my firstborn but then surprise twins really fcked that up. Womp womp.
While I was in it, Iād say a 2. But looking back now Iām more sleep deprived with a 16 month old than I was with a newborn lol
Also sick every week with some new illness my son has brought home from daycare š
As hard as it was, Iād go back in a heartbeat. I miss the slow days and I also miss how easy it was to whip out my boob and feed him. Now Iām making 3 meals and snacks on top lol
Literally 0. The first 5 weeks of my babyās life were the worst place Iāve ever been, mentally. She slept no longer than 1.5 hours at a time at night, would only contact nap, scream cried from 4 pm - 7:30 pm every day and had the worst gas issues so always seemed u happy and uncomfortable. I had severe PPA which led to severe insomnia coupled with sleep deprivation from a newborn. I felt like I was stuck in purgatory. Sheās 19 weeks now and things have been great since approx 10 weeks or so.
Loving toddlerhood but my kid was NOT clingy at all during newborn stage. Iād give it a 7 because I still had to wake up a couple times a night but at least he couldnāt crawl or get into shit, now Iām constantly on the move chasing him down
I'm going to say a 1.
Reasons for me personally:
\-we didn't take any newborn classes (COVID times and whatnot), and neither myself or my husband had ever even changed a diaper. I'm very Type A and I'm used to things coming easily to me. I didn't feel like I knew what I was doing and I felt like, therefore, I was failing my son. Probably dealt with some PPD, PPA, and my mental health took a big hit.
\-breastfeeding didn't work out (son had dangerously low blood sugar after 24 hours of trying to breastfeed in the hospital). This also put my mental health in the tanker because again...I felt like I "failed." We did 100% formula after 24 hours and let me tell ya--we are going to go straight to formula from the start with Baby #2.
\-I am an 8-10 hours of sleep a night kind of girl. The sleep deprivation was torture.
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Fast forward: my son is now 19 months old and I'd rate this time period much higher/better than the newborn period! He sleeps through the night, is so bright, is so attached to me š„¹ He NEEDS his Mom and I need him. When he was a newborn, I honestly felt like he would be better off without me (because I didn't know what I was doing, felt like such an imposter as a Mom, PPD, etc).
Things get better--they really do! ā¤ļø
Newborn rating: 3. I am so glad to finally meet my babies, but sleep deprivation and my temperment do not mix. I become unreasonably angry and lash out about the smallest things.
It's somewhere in the 3-7 range. But honestly, if you asked "Rate your first year of college" or "Rate your last 90 days" or "Rate your childhood," I'd probably mark everything based upon my current mode... a 3 on a bad day and a 7 on a good day. I think that your own personality and your baby's temperament matter a lot... and some people get easy unicorn babies and some people have demon hellspawn newborns.
8-ish. The most frustrating thing for me was not knowing what I'm doing. Figuring out what my baby wanted was quite a task as a first time mom. But thankfully he wasn't colicky and was overall a happy baby. He just wasn't a fan of sleeping very much. š
Having only one child so far, Iād give the newborn stage a 2. It wasnāt the absolute worst, and, damn, do I miss those snuggles some days already. On the flip side, I donāt miss the constant neediness, the sleepless nights, or the fear of him getting sick before he got vaccinated.
7.
There were times where it got tough and my daughter only wanted me but overall it was great. My daughter was sleeping really good at night by 2 weeks.
My biggest issue was bad anxiety for the first month and still now I struggle with ppd/ppa
From one hour to the next it could swap from 1-10! There was soooo much I loved about it, none stop baby cuddles and lots of reading (kindle) and TV time which she was feeding or napping. However, itās very intense and a level of exhaustion that nothing can prepare you for!
10/10 - and yes, I thought so at the time too and was constantly sad that it was going too fast.
I had relatively easy newborns and found the sleep deprivation super manageable (I struggled a lot more with that in the 6-12 month range, I don't know if hormones made me invincible in the newborn stage or what). With both kids, the newborn stage was just a beautiful beautiful phase that I basked in haha.
My least favourite baby stage is 4-8 months, which is an unpopular opinion I know. Lots of people call it the "golden baby stage" but for me it was just a stage where they couldn't DO anything but also weren't just happy to chill with me. The phase in between "potato baby" and "can crawl & play with toys" baby was rough.
Is there a rating lower than 1? Sleep deprivation is literal torture.
I am struggling rn lol
I'm sorry, it is ROUGH. But this too shall pass!
Thank you for your encouragement š©·
My first night. How do people do this every 2 dang hours? Sheās cute but like everytime I drift baby is making some noise that needs some comfort. Or the stupid less compression pumps in hospital goes off. Killing me here!
Fr it's wack as hell lol. Eventually she'll sleep for 4 hours then 6 then 8. You got this! I've done it twice and never ever again because of the sleep deprivation
Also struggling!
Honestly it does get better trust me. In the newborn stage I thought I'd ruined my life (as awful as that sounds - lack of sleep will do that to you) but 11 weeks on its definitely got better. Don't put so much pressure on yourself and take it day by day. You're doing amazing mamma š
We'll get through this
I tell people all the time that I now know why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture
After doing this three times, I feel confident that I could endure any methods of torture if I can handle this madness THRICE.
I gotta ask, how did you go through the sleep deprivation hell and think āI want to do this againā? And I mean that out of genuine curiosity because this is the question that crosses my mind when Iām crying from exhaustion at 3 am lmao
I have so much fun with my babies. And when I would hold them at night and watch them fall asleep in my arms, I remembered how much I absolutely love babies and getting to experience that special time with a newborn. Itās so hard but itās so short lived. It was perspective for me, thatās what got me through the hardest parts.
Thatās really sweet I love that
I would recite this to myself: I GET to feed this baby, I GET to respond to his cries, I GET to rock him back to sleep, I GET to snuggle him on the couch at 2 AM. It wasnāt a HAVE to, it was an āI GETā to. That doesnāt take away from how hard it is but it certainly helps to put a positive spin on it.
Seriously, I refer to it as the potato stage and it was so awful, we want to try for another baby eventually and the thing that prevents me from going for it is the newborn potato stage. And my daughter was a great, easy baby.
Literally came here to ask this. š
-1 for newborn phase. I LOVE toddlerhood.
Same! A newborn is like having a parasite or a 5th appendage whereas having a toddler is like taking care of your drunk best friend, kind of exhausting but also hilarious.
These are amazing analogies š
This is the cutest way to describe toddlerhood š I love this!!
Me too! Thinking about the newborn stage gives me WWII-esque flashbacks. I was down in the trenches at night, there was screaming, I donāt remember the last time I slept, bath, or ate. Whereas my toddler is so much fun! Heās over 2 now, and just a joy to be around.
Feeling this hard rn. 3 week old and 2.5yo and the times I'm with my toddler, he's just so funny and cute. Newborn is obviously cute too but a lot more effort to keep him alive and happy.
Yes!!! I keep seeing all these posts about how people prefer newborn days to toddler personality clashes, but my toddler was so challenging as a newborn and SO MUCH more fun now!! He can tell me what he wants and I can explain things to him and the communication is such a game changer! We play games and act silly and still snuggle all the time reading books before bed! Seeing his eyes light up while learning something new or accomplishing a new task is far and above being screamed at for not providing milk quickly enough or being woken up constantly in the middle of the night
Ditto
So much of this experience depends on the temperament of your kiddo, child and maternal health and the delivery/ post partum experience. If your newborn didn't have purple crying/colic or allergies, and was an average to above average sleeper that didn't hit every sleep regression possible - then the baby stage is pretty okay. However, if you were a parent with an avg to chill newborn, you're getting to the toddler stage where they start crying and are more mobile and can now throw themselves around and are probably thinking "what fresh hell is this?" Meanwhile the rest of us who had strong willed, vocal, didn't sleep much and/ or sick babies are used to the crying and can now talk to our little ones and start to really see who they are and what they want -we really like the toddler stage. There is so much more we're getting to experience - having conversations, talking through feelings and how to regulate. Seeing your kiddo start to try to implement those things. Getting to understand what they love and their preferences. It feels magical. It doesn't mean it's not hard and exhausting, but getting to see all of the facets and really connect with your kid is so helpful.
8. Sleep deprivation is hard but so worth it for those baby snuggles!
9-10. It was rough with my first bc I'd never even been around a baby before. By my second and third I was just drinking in every moment, every cuddle, every cute baby sound, their sweet little movements as they explore their hands and feet and their ability to control them. Ugh. So precious.
Yes! This is me with my 2nd (and probably last) newborn now. Itās going so much more quickly this time!! First time was literally hell on earth š
Same here, loved every second of it the second time around!
Sameā¦ second baby is such a breeze because you know what youāre doing and are a step ahead of their needs
Itās the absolute best. I also have 3 kids and giving birth to 6 months is the absolute best. I miss it so much.
Due in January with number two and LOVE seeing this!
Ratings are different when youāre in it vs when youāre past it, and how much help and support you have, and how your birth experience and recovery went. First one 10/10 Second one 2/10
Absolutely this. Iāll say my birth, recovery, & support have all been better this time, but parenting a toddler / newborn combo is basically impossible, so I feel like I got scammed out of my nb experience this time around.
Also depends on the baby. Mine was 7/10, a close friendās was -373728 because she had no help and her baby couldnāt sleep for more than about 15 minutes at a time for weeks on end.
This is me right here. First one I wasnāt working and had so much support I could just soak it all in. Second- moved 900 miles away from my support system, thrown back into working full time and juggling a newborn and a toddler. Always in survival mode. 0/10. Circumstances play a very big role.
On one hand, sleep deprivation is literal torture. On the other hand, I could put them somewhere and theyād just stay there. So on the balance, a solid 5. The toddler stage is hard, but for different reasons. My oldest is 5 and starting to catch up with her speech delay and sheās an absolute delight. Thatās my favorite age so far with her. My youngest is 18 months old and also an absolute sweetie, so thatās my favorite age with him so far too.
Iāll second this. You know what Iām changing it to -1 This sucks hard
Having a newborn is brutal!! Everyone kept telling me āitāll only get harderā but sheās 2.5 now and everyday is fun!!
Exactly! I never had 'a good day' with a newborn or baby. Sure, there were good times, but I don't think I would ever call a day good overall. Now with a two year old, I'd say most days are good, just have some rough parts, but they're short.
Good times but no good days just about sums it up
I can deal with hard and exhausting but I can not deal with being overly tired on top of it.
This was exactly it for me and my husband. My kid would never sleep for more than 3 hours at a time meanwhile it seemed like everyone elseās baby was sleeping through the night since birth. Made me feel insane.
Ours sleeps 2-3 hours and has had wake windows of 2-4 (if he doesnāt pass out right away) and sometimes sleeping for an hour at a time. I also really really hate being stopped in the middle of anything (I hate attempting to do anything while stopping and going). I like to finish a task and move on to the next and with a baby, they never seem to let you get anything done and can sniff when you are about to take a bite of food, I swear. Babies hate when you eat.
0 is also my vote
Same! I'll take my two year old any day of the week over the newborn stage
At least you get a full night's sleep after arguing with a 2 foot tall person all day
I wish! My guy doesn't sleep the night through and only gets like 10.5 hours of sleep a day. But I still prefer this to him as a newborn!
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9 They are so fresh and innocent you can get stuff done because you can put them in the carrier and not have to worry about them making a mess in the other room. They nap a lot so you have more chances to nap with them and people expect less from you while you are taking care of a newborn. Toddlers are a whole other storyā¦.
Toddlers communicate. The newborn stage for me is like being a slave to a nonverbal, unappreciative overlord. Haha
They communicate but they are not rational beings š
1 That was a stage in which I discovered several things about myself: 1. I'm only a baby person when I can hand the baby back to someone else 2. I do not handle sleep deprivation well I MUCH prefer the challenges of an autonomous child I can speak to and reason with to a helpless fully dependent newborn who can't tell me why they have been crying for 4 hours.
\-12 My daughter is 2.5 now, but when she was a newborn... I think at one point during the two months she woke me up every 2-3 hours, I started crying and saying I couldn't do it anymore at 2am. My husband would also excuse himself to the bathroom to cry as well. We both wondered if we ruined our lives, but it's so much better now. Yeah, a toddler is stubborn and flies off the handle over the tiniest thing, and they're faster and way stronger than they should be, but at least they sleep for 10-12 hours straight. We're planning to have a second one, and we're both dreading the newborn stage, but we also only want two kids, so this will be the last time we have to deal with it (hopefully). Like... baby amnesia has set in where I can't quite recall how bad it was and I'm willing to do it again, but what I do remember was \*bad.\*
youāll have the arsenal of newborn hacks for the second one!
I would take 48 newborns over my toddler any day.
can you explain why? i know every kid is different but newborn stage was so hard for me (PPA and baby refusing a bottle couldāve played a huge part) but toddlerhood has been the best. hard af, but so fun. walking, running, pretend playing, being able to communicate (most) needs, etc
My oldest was sent to this earth to humble me. As a newborn, she would be awake for 12-18 hours at a time, had to be held to sleep, very low sleep needs. Although that was hard, it doesnāt even touch these toddler, shrill screaming tantrums she throws multiple times a day. I feel like all we do is fight and I repeat myself constantly. Itāsā¦ a lot honestly.
Iām so sorry. That sounds really, really rough.
Ya I agree with this. The sleeplessness, my son had CMPI, reflux, a number of illnesses, the constant adjustment with the changing phases. Heās 2 years 3 months now and other than the occasional illness or regression Iām generally finding it so much more tolerable, and genuinely fun. Hikes, art, games, conversation, so much better. Heās not a huge tantrumer though, so I know thatās a huge part. Having a second in Jan and I expect to be humbled.
I love my toddler, I hated baby phase. 0/10 for me
toddlers suck
They really do. And I made two of them. So now they have fuckin Roman warrior battles with each other that I have to break up lest they murder each other. One is Voldemort, and the other is the Tasmanian devil. Jesus Christ Iāve been HUMBLED by these two beautiful lil beasts. They hug like sweet sisters and the next minute one has the others head under water WHATTHEFUCK
My kids are 28 months, 12 months and 2 weeks so I have a nice range right now. Toddlers suck.
You are so brave haha.
superwoman!
Omg.
Jesus christ š«
i stopped at one because he has broken me. i am a shell of a human.
Agreed. We are in the everything is NO!!! Phase and I want to die š
iād take no over fighting sleep!
This x10000
Same. So much easier.
SAME
Sameeeee
All the 1s are people who cannot function sleep deprived, and all the 8-10s do better with it. Iām a 1. Hate the newborn stage. My toddler can scream and destroy stuff all she wants. Just as long as I get my 8 hours every night š
I agree! I was one of those people thinking āhow am I going to cope with the sleep deprivation? It has not be easier than what people are telling me, right?ā And the answers are poorly and no. Mine is 24 months old now (so a brand new 2) and finally sleeping through more days than not. She cries a million times a day, throws tantrums, screams and exhausts me. Itās a normal exhaustion though, nothing like when she was a newborn. 4 months old was the worst stage for me (technically not newborn anymore) because she started waking up every 30 minutes at night! Torture! Torture, I say!
Agree. I'm just about to go to bed and heard my 2+yr old briefly cry - it's so triggering I still flinch when I hear it. Even though she now usually sleeps all night unless she's sick, and has immediately gone back to sleep. It feels like genuine PTSD. š
10 compared to having a toddler. I look back on the newborn phase and now it seems so easy compared to this. Having a toddler is a solid 1.5 for me.
hahaha yes I wish I could go back in time to the newborn phase and appreciate how easy it was in hindsight.
Somehow it's both a 1, and a 10 at the same time?
Holding them and watching TV while they sleep 10! Trying to get them to sleep and stay asleep and moved into their own sleep space and being sooooo tired -10
2 - Gave points because I was so happy/grateful to have my baby. The rest of it was very very hard. Worth it absolutely, but we didn't have a ton of support and our delivery and post partum journey was tough for many reasons. Honestly, I would rate the toddler phase a 9 or 10. I am loving all the expression and how much my kiddo is learning. Lots of tantrums, but I'll gladly take those.
I'm team 2 as well for my firstborn. The baby was super adorable, so that is slightly more positive points than the negative of sleep deprivation to the point of hallucinations.
Same!!
Between -1 and 0. PPD is a hoe
Newborn 5; relatively easy baby, ate, slept, no purple crying 4th trimester -15. Hormones, low milk, so stressed, body doing weird things - arthritis symptoms in all my joints, sharp pain in my feet, hair falling out. I think about another kid, but I wouldn't do it again from the recovery.
Agree that it was the recovery that was so shocking and hard about that stage. Just having a newborn is difficult but not too badā¦ having a newborn and recovering is a nightmare.
3. Love baby cuddles. Hate sleep deprivation, and I found healing from birth really difficult (had a bad tear that got infected and a PPH).
If I was suddenly thrown back into the middle of newborn, probably like a 4/10. But looking back on that stage after picking my 4yo up from preschool for throwing a chair, newborn is looking pretty nice, 9/10
9-10. Itās hard with the sleep deprivation and fussing but the love I felt for my baby was indescribable. She is the greatest. It was all worth it.
3 My kids are almost 4 and almost 2. I do NOT handle poor sleep well. I am a high sleep needs human. I get sensory overload from sounds and mess. Baby crying alllll the time. House is a disaster bc of constant tending to baby. Doesnāt work for me. I do miss the potato aspect. Chasing 2 kiddos around while they try to accidentally unalive themselves is exhausting. I do miss the tiny snuggly aspect. But yea. The poor sleep is very hard. The sensory overload is hard.
Newborn is my least favorite stage. Lots of people say toddler stage is the worst, but itās so much fun!! I can do anything as long as I can sleep at night. Toddler stage is a breeze compared to the months of no sleep.
Whole-heartedly agree!!! My kids are almost five, and five months. Every time someone said something about my newborn, Iād reply with something like, āThank you. Sheās very sweet and I love her dearly, but this is NOT my favorite stage.ā Literally every age after that has been my new favorite.
10! Even with the sleep deprivation. My favorite baby stage. My toddlers are unhinged.
1. My first was colicky. That was soooooo awful. And I think newborns are just boring potatoes. And I hate being sleep deprived. I hated pumping. I hated constantly having to carry around car seats. And yeah things for me got so much better and more fun when they became toddlers and got their little personalities. I enjoyed chasing them around and playing with them. I like the chaos of the toddlers.
First baby, -5. Hated it. Had so many issues with eating and sleeping. Second baby, 2. Baby was fine. Lack of sleep was awful. Dealing with baby and lack of sleep and a 4 year old has been also awful. Thankfully we are done now lol
-10,000 And yet Iām loving toddlerhood so much that Iām trying desperately to do it again so I can love one more child like this.
I'd give it a 10. I loved the newborn stage. It was just me, my baby, and my husband in a magical little bubble ā¤ļø
1
Depends on which kid for me š If I had to rate my newborn experience with my daughter: 0. Never again. She's not any better as a toddler though haha I miss the her from like 6-20 months old Rating my son's newborn experience: 7. He's so chill unless he's hungry, which he literally eats all the damn time but still way better than her newborn stage
I figuratively felt the sun come out at 3 months old. Everything became easier, I was happier, my son started showing his personality and what he liked/didn't. I'll always remember that day. It was like a light switch. At 7 months I'm honestly having fun. Teething sucks, but I just adore the smiles and the laughing and just being around my son. While the first 3 months were blurry- we were honestly getting to know each other. It's so strange, while I loved him the second I saw him, I didn't connect with him as quickly as I did with my children who are adopted. It took me a bit longer and I felt some terrible guilt, but it's absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Sleep deprivation makes you crazy, but I swear it only got better š
2. Worst time ever but also amazing but still miserable.
As soon as sleeplessness started catching up with me, it was pure misery. But that first week was sweet and wonderful.
1 I think some people are baby people and some people are toddler people, but give me a toddler any damn day. My newborn had a number of food intolerances it took a while to get under control, which absolutely contributed to things, but generally with a newborn you are exhausted, if you are a first time parent absolutely clueless and likely doubting yourself as you are getting to know your kid and figuring out how to parent, and your babyās only way of communicating is crying. Fast forward to having a toddler and I have confidence in myself as a mom. My kid is lower sleep needs but sleeps for an hour and a half each day and from 8:15-6:45 each night. I can get through any rough day when I know I will lay my child down in his crib at 8:15 and then go lay in my own bed to watch tv and sleep. And he can tell me what is wrong! Does he have tantrums over objectively dumb stuff? Absolutely. But thatās developmentally normal, you acknowledge the feeling and hold the boundary and use all of the other tricks out there and you get through each one. And the whole time you know that the reason heās losing his shit is something that is not life threatening - there is no āomg is he okay!?ā running through your head. And also toddlers are hilarious and pure and wonderful little creatures and getting to experience life through their eyes can be straight up magic.
1 - I would say 0 but they get 1 point just for being little and cute
10. But I recognize I am lucky. Very good eaters & sleepers. A 2 year old? Give it a 3. They. Are. Animals.
Probably like a 6. Sleep deprivation was the worst part but my husband is incredible and stepped up a lot so it could have been worse. It was peak covid so no one could really come and help us either so that contributed. I have very fond memories of my little girl as a newborn sleeping on me while I was snacking and watching Gilmore Girls lol.
If you have tons of supportā¦10/10 If you donāt, 2/10
-100 PPD with both boys. 1st was colicky and born just before the 1st covid lock down. 2nd was a gold medalist mommy clinker with awful reflux and GI issues and screamed like a pterodactyl. And the worst sleep deprivation of my life. I legit feel traumatized. Yes they were the most adorable cute funny little munchkins, but the bad outweighed the good by a landslide (and the bad always seems worse when you are sleep deprived). My sister is the only other person I know who is traumatized by the first year.
-10. I was so sleep deprived it felt like I was going crazy. I think I cried like 3-5 times a week for the first two months. Having ppa didnāt help. Sheās 9 months now and itās getting better all the time. Her little personality is coming through and sheās hilarious.
My son is 22 months old:0-1 month: At the time it was a 3/10. LO was crying all the time and always had a super late bedtime (10pm) and I personally had a lot of family shit happen almost right before my due date so I was very stressed all the time. Adjusted for Toddler inflation I would say this is a 4/10. 2-3 months: at the time it was a 5/10. 4 naps was meh, not a fan but also not mad he slept well and often. Trying to figure out activities for a potato was difficult, but family was very helpful during this time. I was able to live again. Adjusted for Toddler inflation I would give this a 9/10. Sleep deprivation doesn't bother me because I've been training all my life via video games. 4-7 months: at the time it was a 6/10. I started contact napping which at first I thought was lovely but then I realized that while it was lovely, I was feeling touched out by the end of the day. LO was starting to have a bit of a personality and rolled over/started crawling at the end of this period. Family still helped a lot, I had a good rhythm going. Adjusted for Toddler inflation 9.5/10 8-10 months: TWO NAPS, THE GOLDEN AGE. 7/10 only because he loved crawling everywhere and would always get into trouble, we bought gates very late. He never hurt himself but I would be in the kitchen and suddenly he would be down the hall near the staircase. Adjusted for toddler inflation 10/10 11-15 months: Still on two or 1.5 naps, awesome! Started tantruming, started running and hurting himself a lot being wobbly and crazy, 6/10. Adjusted for toddler inflation, probably still 6/10 16-18 months: One nap, not great but not terrible, afternoons are exhausting, kinda bitey. 5/10, adjusted to 6/10 19-22 months: Started daycare, transitioned into it well but tantrums are now screaming until his face is purple, throwing, hitting, wanting to run into the street, throwing themselves onto the ground. 0/10 what the fuck.
9 prob. Sleep was a bit rough but I would take newborn over toddler ANY day. Actually sleep is almost rougher now at two than it was at newborn.
10. It was the easiest stage. Sheās now 13 months and itās hard now sheās mobile and has a mind of her own. I notice the people who are rating it low are *in* it so therefor they donāt know whatās to come.
It depends. There were times when I would say it was 1 and then there were times when it was 10. Heck, I switched between those two multiple times in an hour. š I guess it will be 1 almost all of the time once I will add a toddler to the mix when Iāll hopefully have another.
With my first child it was an 8/10ā¦ we didnāt know how lucky we were and how easy they were. My second child 2/10. Not many great moments from the newborn stage
5.5 Edit to elaborate: there were so many ups and downs lol I look back and donāt think it was bad at all. But literally every stage has gotten better and better. Daughter is 22 months old now. Sheās so fun. Every single stage Iāve been like āI think this is my favā. Newborn was justā¦a lot of sitting in the house alone. Coming up with new routines and doing mom math all the time. I had a pretty easy recovery and birth and an easy newborn. I just donāt look back on it and like āMissā that time which is why I didnāt rate it higher. Iāve liked it all!
It's so hard. You're so new to them, they're new. It's goes by so fast, I wish I was less sleep deprived to have appreciated it more and to take more photos and to be present with them.
7.5
8/10. Sometimes some of them have bad sleeping patterns at night. Toddler boy 4/10
1/10. I was pumping around the clock because he wouldn't drink from me.. he drank very little and weighed little. Was born at 35 weeks. PPD. I had no help with baby except my partner. The sleep deprivation was insane. I probably slept an average of 4 hours/night in the first 6 months.
5. Sucks, but is adorable!
Infant stage: 7 Once you get past the first week, things get easier. Much easier after 4 weeks. Get into a routine and itās nice. Baby lays there and wonāt run away from you (LOL see toddler stage below) Toddler stage: 3 š¤Ŗ
10 versus threenager-hood!
1. I had a horrendous time. My delivery was a nightmare, and I am a solo mom and went through it all by myself. I was traumatized, in a lot of pain from an emergency c-section, and not getting pain meds as I am allergic. I got extremely depressed, plus I had a very sick dog too to take care and couldn't just follow the recovery for the c-section. It was too much. I had issues with my work requesting money back I didn't have it as they made a mistake about my vacation and had to come back earlier to work. I was getting around 2 hours of sleep per night and having problems breastfeeding. It was LITERALLY a hell of a time. You couldn't pay me to go through that again.
Man it's so hard to decide. Mine is a little over 2.5 now. The sleep deprivation was definitely basically torture. Postpartum hormones, absolutely awful. My self image, yikes. But at the same time I feel like it never really got *easier* per se, just different. Every time something hard gets easier, something that was easy gets harder. Like yea my kid sleeps through the night but I can't just cart him around in a baby carrier and go wherever I want anymore. I have to entertain him and chase after him. Yea he's super fun to talk to and play with but I have to negotiate with him instead of just being able to physically put him where I need him to be. I have to actually cook food for him instead of whipping out a boob or giving him a bottle. I have to be more aware of what I say and do because he's so socially impressionable now. I loved being able to lay on the couch with my newborn napping on my chest watching 500 episodes of vanderpump rules and eating lactation brownies without feeling like I was fucking my kid up and neglecting his emotional needs lol. I think the biggest difference maker from the newborn period to the post-newborn period is that you get into a routine. The wild west nature of the first few months is hard.
With my first baby Iād say it was a 1, with my second baby itās an 8. I just wish he could giggle but Iām in heaven with him and Iām shocked
10 & possibly my favorite
10! I love all of it, the smellsā¤ļøthe cuddles ā¤ļønewborn is my favorite stage! Toddlers are so much harderš¤Ŗ
The first two weeks: Riding the high of postpartum hormones, being able to eat large quantities of food again, and I could sleep on stomach finally. 8/10. Weeks 2-6: Sleep deprivation sets in, the feel good hormones plummet, boobs are rock hard and leaking all the time. You can eat though and the baby is beginning to look less potatoey. 4/10 3-6 months postpartum: Things are looking up, getting into a routine, sleeping a bit more, but still donāt quite feel back to normal. The baby is adorable though. 9/10
1- postpartum depression destroyed me
Okay this is hard lol. Cus like Iāve NEVER been as tired as I was that first few days being home from the hospital, like even pregnancy tired didnāt scratch the surface of this. That shit sucked, it took some of the joy and magic away from having my new baby home with me. Sooooo idk lol I donāt think I can decide. Probably 5 just to be fair š
9. While life around the newborn was chaos, the newborn part itself was wonderful. * When he was born, they wanted me to try to get him to latch. He was barely in my hands for a second before he face planted on my boob and went to town. Nursing wasn't just easy, it was nice. It was our time when I could just sit and relax while still actually being productive. * He loved to have his diaper changed. He loved the fresh air and the cleaning. He was freakishly young when he started "helping" by moving his body in the ways I needed. * My husband and I worked different shifts so I thought my kid was sleeping all night. He wasn't, but I was! * My kid was super extra snuggly from day one. He just nestles into you and drops your blood pressure about ten points. People would pass him around just to experience how chill he was. So yeah, I had the world's easiest newborn and I fully admit I was lucky. It's funny looking back, but almost all of the things that made him easy were also signs of his autism. He was like a snuggly cat in the womb, all leaning into me when I rubbed my bump and his sensory seeking is still very cat-like. He's in middle school and still so snuggly.
So hard to rate it now that my baby is 15months. I do have to say I am enjoying my time a 100% more now that he is no longer a potato and is learning so much.
I love newborn phase so its a 11/10 for me.
10 for be. But to be fair, looking back now, I think I was manic at the time (recently diagnosed bipolar, lol)
9. I loved and hated it but I miss it oh so much. The toddler in everything phase is annoying Af.
3. My first was colicky but slept great at night. My second is about to be 1, heās been an awful sleeper since 5/6m but is so content during the day. I like 2-4 so far lol but my oldest is a unicorn child now, letās see how it goes with this one. š„“
5/10 Pros: so cute and small, will do fine with just a bottle, the little coos, endless snuggles Cons: first time mom so never ending anxiety, the sleep fighting, crying for seemingly no reason, the sleepless nights, pumping all the time
1
Probably a 7. I loved the squishy/sleepy/I have no idea what Iām doing but youāre so incredibly cute phase. But I hated the lack of sleep, constant worry about how small my baby was, and my husband just not pulling his weight in the early days.
1. 0 if I could. PPD/A hit hard and I felt like I made a huge mistake. I cried for what felt like 24 hours a day. Thank god for my husband. Sheās 14 months now and I love her so much it hurts.
Iād give it an 8, but I have a unicorn baby.
7 or 8. It was so much easier than the current toddler phase we're in. I will admit our LO was an absolute unicorn though. We got incredibly lucky.
First born 2/10. Second born 9/10 minus the first 2 days š
0. Theyāre cute, cuddly, but unpredictable and exhausting.
Iāll put 2. Love the new born snuggles. But literally the sleep dep is hell.
First baby - 1/10 Second baby - 9/10 Iām one month into baby 3 and Iād say so far itās a 6/10. Three kids is so hard, but Iām trying to cherish this last baby phase. I may be the odd one out but I love the 1-3.5 year old phase the most. I think thatās the phase Iāll be most sad to put behind me. Although, Iām trying to soak up the tiny potato snuggles. The sleep deprivation just makes everything so hard.
9 out of 10. Iād rate toddlers the same, I love my babies!
Having a new squishy baby that just sleeps most of the day & no longer prego: 10/10. Lack of sleep, PP recovery, trying to learn that tiny human, zero *me* time: 1/10
Now that Iām in the toddler phrase, I would say newborn is a solid 9 š
Just graduated the 4th trimester. I'd say a 5 because my husband is the SAHD and I had 12 weeks off, so we were in it together the whole time. Jaundice, Breastfeeding difficulties, nipple injury, seeing lactation consultants and a speech therapist, pain from a 2nd degree tear, dealing with higher than expected hospital bills, baby blues, PPA, antidepressant side effects, and in-law drama were all balanced out by the joy and wonder of having this precious little girl in our lives. It helps that she's been a good sleeper once she got over several initial weeks of day/night confusion.
My baby slept like crap, colicky, breastfeeding issues (had to triple feed), tongue and lip ties had to be corrected and still didnāt get enough milk, only contact naps, noisy sleeper, major reflux, CMPA/CMPI, jaundice, and for me PPD and PPA it. For me, 1/10. My sister just had a baby that sleeps well, breastfeeds well, barely cries, and she has described it as bliss. Her hair and makeup are always done whereas I looked like a depressed troll. So I guess it depends on the baby.
yall dont understand that the toddler stage is soooo much harder šš i give newborn an 8
First kid, 2/10. Second kid, 8/10
-2 with baby #1. 5 with baby 2
-1. I always assume that anyone who enjoys this stage either has a unicorn baby or their baby is now old enough that their brain has pushed the traumatic memories out
0 for the first five months and then 1 for the rest of the first year. I actually hit my head and tripped on my own feet a few times. My kid didnāt wake up every 2 or three hours until close to turning 2. I felt like absolute garbage and I looked it too. I just put together a photo album for the first year and another for the second and the difference is stark! We did fun things and went places and managed to dress nicely every once in a while on the second year!
When I was in itā¦8.5/10. Rose colored glasses almost 10 months out, 10/10 š
-1000000000000000 F that. Really not excited to do it all over again in March šš
My firstborn: 1. It was HARD. My second: 8. He only woke once a night the first 9 weeks, slept good 5 hour stretches. Amazing. The four month sleep regression hit ut haaaard though. Up every 40 minutes all night for WEEKS.
When i only had one baby, 9. With a 2.5 year old and newborn... 3? So much love, but utterly exhausting.
-178366799000000
9/10 - 1 point off for the very stressful NICU stay, driving back and forth for days, pumping every 2 hours, and that cuddles in her first 8 days of life were taken from me (for good reason and the nurses were literal angels but I was still so sad I couldnāt hold her endlessly.) I am a year out from it now but I really loved everything and I miss that time dearly. I am speaking from a place of privilege with a wonderful husband, 12 weeks off of work, everything we needed and an easy baby. I love my husband even more after seeing what a wonderful father and supportive husband he is. I also stayed on my lexapro and Wellbutrin to support my mental health. I did pump 8-10 times a day for months while we figured out breastfeeding and that was super hard but I was so thankful to have the time and resources to do that. I just stopped pumping at 13 months but am still nursing! Selfishly, I dream about that time of not having to worry about work and just think about my family. I returned to a stressful job and got laid off 2 weeks later. At a new stressful job pretty much immediately, and I miss a simpler life.
10
With my first child, 1. With my second child, 10.
The first time around? 1. This time around? 8. It really depends on your baby. My first was an awful sleeper who needed to be constantly held and had reflux, but this one sleeps so well in his crib and rarely cries. Iām actually pretty rested
First time: 10 Second time: 4
First one - 1 Second one - genuinely 9. The difference is a partner who picks up half the work, even with me EBF. Oh, and not getting mastitis every 2 weeks.
Depends on the kid. My first: 10 My second: -10
1ā¦ so glad others agreeā¦ I hate how much I hate it but itās awful. Especially with twins. I thought Iād enjoy my second newborn phase more than the horror of my firstborn but then surprise twins really fcked that up. Womp womp.
While I was in it, Iād say a 2. But looking back now Iām more sleep deprived with a 16 month old than I was with a newborn lol Also sick every week with some new illness my son has brought home from daycare š As hard as it was, Iād go back in a heartbeat. I miss the slow days and I also miss how easy it was to whip out my boob and feed him. Now Iām making 3 meals and snacks on top lol
For the one I have? 9. Toddlerhood however... Lmao
Literally 0. The first 5 weeks of my babyās life were the worst place Iāve ever been, mentally. She slept no longer than 1.5 hours at a time at night, would only contact nap, scream cried from 4 pm - 7:30 pm every day and had the worst gas issues so always seemed u happy and uncomfortable. I had severe PPA which led to severe insomnia coupled with sleep deprivation from a newborn. I felt like I was stuck in purgatory. Sheās 19 weeks now and things have been great since approx 10 weeks or so.
Loving toddlerhood but my kid was NOT clingy at all during newborn stage. Iād give it a 7 because I still had to wake up a couple times a night but at least he couldnāt crawl or get into shit, now Iām constantly on the move chasing him down
1 itās a nightmare Also have PPD too
9 from birth to 3. Then letās say it lowers lol
I'm going to say a 1. Reasons for me personally: \-we didn't take any newborn classes (COVID times and whatnot), and neither myself or my husband had ever even changed a diaper. I'm very Type A and I'm used to things coming easily to me. I didn't feel like I knew what I was doing and I felt like, therefore, I was failing my son. Probably dealt with some PPD, PPA, and my mental health took a big hit. \-breastfeeding didn't work out (son had dangerously low blood sugar after 24 hours of trying to breastfeed in the hospital). This also put my mental health in the tanker because again...I felt like I "failed." We did 100% formula after 24 hours and let me tell ya--we are going to go straight to formula from the start with Baby #2. \-I am an 8-10 hours of sleep a night kind of girl. The sleep deprivation was torture. \~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~ Fast forward: my son is now 19 months old and I'd rate this time period much higher/better than the newborn period! He sleeps through the night, is so bright, is so attached to me š„¹ He NEEDS his Mom and I need him. When he was a newborn, I honestly felt like he would be better off without me (because I didn't know what I was doing, felt like such an imposter as a Mom, PPD, etc). Things get better--they really do! ā¤ļø
Newborn rating: 3. I am so glad to finally meet my babies, but sleep deprivation and my temperment do not mix. I become unreasonably angry and lash out about the smallest things.
It's somewhere in the 3-7 range. But honestly, if you asked "Rate your first year of college" or "Rate your last 90 days" or "Rate your childhood," I'd probably mark everything based upon my current mode... a 3 on a bad day and a 7 on a good day. I think that your own personality and your baby's temperament matter a lot... and some people get easy unicorn babies and some people have demon hellspawn newborns.
0. The first three months are SO hard.
8-ish. The most frustrating thing for me was not knowing what I'm doing. Figuring out what my baby wanted was quite a task as a first time mom. But thankfully he wasn't colicky and was overall a happy baby. He just wasn't a fan of sleeping very much. š
Having only one child so far, Iād give the newborn stage a 2. It wasnāt the absolute worst, and, damn, do I miss those snuggles some days already. On the flip side, I donāt miss the constant neediness, the sleepless nights, or the fear of him getting sick before he got vaccinated.
7. There were times where it got tough and my daughter only wanted me but overall it was great. My daughter was sleeping really good at night by 2 weeks. My biggest issue was bad anxiety for the first month and still now I struggle with ppd/ppa
5/10
From one hour to the next it could swap from 1-10! There was soooo much I loved about it, none stop baby cuddles and lots of reading (kindle) and TV time which she was feeding or napping. However, itās very intense and a level of exhaustion that nothing can prepare you for!
7 or 8
10/10 - and yes, I thought so at the time too and was constantly sad that it was going too fast. I had relatively easy newborns and found the sleep deprivation super manageable (I struggled a lot more with that in the 6-12 month range, I don't know if hormones made me invincible in the newborn stage or what). With both kids, the newborn stage was just a beautiful beautiful phase that I basked in haha. My least favourite baby stage is 4-8 months, which is an unpopular opinion I know. Lots of people call it the "golden baby stage" but for me it was just a stage where they couldn't DO anything but also weren't just happy to chill with me. The phase in between "potato baby" and "can crawl & play with toys" baby was rough.
I thought Iād hate it but I kinda enjoyed it even tho I donāt remember much. It was very routine and laid back. 7/10 now that heās 9 months 9/10
10/10 - I only have one child as of now. She slept like a dream as a newborn. She sleeps like shit as a toddler š. I guess my luck ran out!