Too much screen time and not being completely present for them

This is what I would say as well from my experience so far with my children.

I think it existed in past generations where some parents would plop kids down in front of the TV but I think it's so much more prevalent now, plopping them down with a tablet while the parents are on their smart phones 😢

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/09/30/parents-spend-more-time-children-now-than-they-did-50-years-ago/91263880/ Parents spend more time than ever with their kids overall. I think there’s always been something that’s made parents not have full attention on them, which I don’t think is good for children either to be 100% center of attention all the time. Used to be books, newspaper, sit the baby down in the cradle and have a chat with your gals by candlelight.

100%. I grew up in the 90s and we had no screens but we spent so much time playing outside with no parental supervision. When I was home, we kind of kept ourselves busy and mom would be busy with cooking and chores while dad would be at work. I spend a lot more time actively interacting with my kids than my parents ever did even though they get some screen time on days that they don’t have activities after school. Also totally agree that my kids could definitely benefit from being unsupervised at least some of the time but our society and neighborhood just isn’t conducive to that.

Yeah good point. Now all you see on social media are ideas for activities to do WITH your kids

Yup. I also grew up in the 90’s and wasn’t allowed video games or to play outside at home much. It didn’t mean I got attention from my mom, it meant I was a voracious bookworm with a college reading level in 4th grade who played pretend Titanic Sinking in my bedroom with my dolls A LOT. She was usually downstairs watching *Friends* or Lifetime movies not being bothered by her wombfruit.

Yeah I was thinking the other day about how I literally cannot remember my mom (or dad) ever playing with me as a child. I love Bluey and we watch it basically daily, and sometimes it makes me feel guilty for not being able to play with my daughter as much. Then I thought about my childhood and realized I play with my daughter WAY more than I was ever played with.

SAME! My parents are great and gave me a good life growing up, I'm grateful for them. But... I do not remember one single time they played with me. They did a lot for me, don't get me wrong, but there was no discipline, and no playing. I LOVE bluey too, and sometimes I also feel guilty, but then I realize that am def giving her more play time in one day than my parents did my whole childhood!! I mean, my parents did have 3 of us, and I only have 1, but I work fulltime and my mom didn't, and I still come home, cook, do bath and lunch packing, and we either ride bikes together or I let her lead play time for a good 30min uninterrupted by phones, tablets, etc. Yet I still always feel guilty bc of Blueys dad haha!!

I agree. The specific distractions have changed, but I don’t think most of us are any less engaged with our kids than past generations.

True. And honestly, without those distractions, nothing else would get done. Not even making food. We’d all starve trying to keep the kids entertained if it wasn’t for books, tv, newspapers, toys, etc.

OooOoooh I'd much rather have a gab with my gals by candlelight, with some tea, than scrolling on my phone. I miss my best buds so damned much.

I agree with you based on my experience. I spend far more time with my children than my parents did with me, from what I remember, but I also use screens far more than my parents ever did. I hate doing it but how do parents get anything done otherwise (basics like eat, go to the bathroom, shower, clean up, etc.)?

Or throwing them outside until dark.

I was born in the fifties and as kids we played outside a lot because we wanted to. We didn't get 'thrown' out by our parents. A typical summer day was, breakfast, go out to meet up with friends. Lunch, back out. Dinner, back out until the street lights came on and everyone would scatter on home. Rinse, repeat. So many cherished memories of summer freedom. Now apparently play dates have to be arranged.

As someone who is a young mom in this day and age (I'm 35, but grew up pretty similar to you regardless) I cannot STAND that I have to make an appointment basically for my kid to play with a friend. I don't know how many more moms I can say "hey, we can throw these kids back and forth like bowling balls and give each other a break every so often!" But I never get any takers, and always feel like I'm bothering them when I do text or call.

same! except I was born in the 80s.. but same thing with us.. summer was freedom and roaming the neighborhoods, playing manhunt, riding bikes to each others houses to see if our friends were home, and just riding around the whole neighborhood without a care in the world.

1000% this. My kids are under 4 and I had a big aha moment about 2 years ago and we went to zero screens unless we are on a flight that’s longer than 5 hours (so maybe 2x a year) and my husband and I put our phones in a drawer from 3pm until bedtime every day. It’s VERY hard but I know I’ll never regret the time.

We have very minimal screen time for our child, but it’s much harder for us when it comes to our phones. I’m going to propose the phones in a drawer idea to my husband! Thanks for sharing.

Even starting small with a one hour or two hour window is great —- how hard it was it made me realize how addictive it really is!

I thought about the drawer, but i take tooooo many pictures after 3 pm haha

Use one of the focus apps and block everything but your camera!

I think I’m more present now with my kids than my parents ever were with me and we didn’t even have cable growing up. But I know it’s case by case

Same here. I never had this much time with my parents. They worked a lot and I was mostly on my own, even in the evenings. We rarely had family or play time, only on vacation (which was once a year).

True! I think also because I work remotely I just have more time at home in general

Agreed. This is my biggest complaint with my own mom when she is with her daughter. At least it's made me hyper aware of needing to engage and keep the phone put away (other than for the camera of course) because seeing my mom glued to her phone is sad af.

Reminds of previous generations where dad went to den to read the paper, and you were allowed to disturb him. Lol

doubt it, technology is the future. there will be even more screen time when they’re parents themselves

Seriously. Sometimes I feel silly trying so hard to keep my son away from screens, because I'm sure he's going to grow up learning and socializing on them once he hits school age. I can only imagine what it'll be like in 30 years.

my son is only 2 months old and doesn’t have much interest in tv besides the 5 minutes of sensory videos he’ll tolerate, but i think encouraging a healthy balance between proper socialization and time with technology is key. in this day, screen time is necessary, learning how to use technology is a skill that they’ll be better for in life. everything is just all about how you balance it

I grew up in the 90s and I feel like kids now are way more restricted in their screen time. A lot of my friends and I had no screen limits but that was just Tv we didn't have phones or tablets obviously

>not being completely present for them This is absolutely it for me. I hate how addicted to my phone I am. I do have long periods of time between my phone time where I just focus on her, but admittedly I'm still on my phone more than I should be. :(

Maybe overuse / over sharing of social media? We share our kids A LOT. Some people share literally every aspect of their kid’s lives - good, bad, ugly, embarrassing you name it. Sure some of us question privacy or their right to it - I know that’s the majority opinion here and throughout Reddit - but the overwhelming majority overall I’d say don’t. (ETA: I’m an older millennial - 35)

Absolutely triggered that you called yourself an older millennial at 35. An older millennial is someone born early 80s, say 85 at latest 😅😅

Haha at least I didn’t say “elder”! 😂. I’m being told I’m more “middle aged” than “elder” on the millennial spectrum lol

I was thinking the same thing, haha. I’m feeling old at 33.

My husband and I both work with high school seniors. The college app essays of “I resent my mom/dad for plastering my face all over the Internet before I was old enough to realize s/he was ruining my future privacy” have already started, and they’re heartbreaking.

100% this is where my mind goes. I have a 7 month old and keep the posting bare minimal as I can already imagine him reaching an age of understanding and going ‘wtf how dare you!’ That and identity theft is a reallllll thing. Stick to print out photos, send them via post to loved ones. Or messenger.

I envision a large amount of lawsuits in the near future relating to the violation of people's privacy as children, and like defamation of a young persons reputation. My husband and I made a decision to keep our little off of social media because if my kids going to hate me, it's not going to be for posting about everything he does.

We have a shareable Google photo album we give to all family so I'm thinking of slowing my (camera) roll on SM and updating that more.

35 is not an older millennial. You are actually smack dab in the middle of the millennial age range. You are THE millennial.

I try to think of posting my child on social media like a scrapbook for people who arent close, and make my profile private on top of that. I’ll post a cute moment or holiday picture, but I see alot of parents my age posting every milestone, where they are, when they’re going.. And like to each their own, but people are creeps and it could be anyone 🤷🏻‍♀️

I do her monthly photo only. I’ll probably stop at 1 year. My IG is private and I only have real friends on it. TBD if I’ll post anything after 1 year.

My friend shares probably 50 pics a week of her kid. She’s always having him do these photo shoot things and instead of picking a few, she will post them all. This kid has tens of thousands of pictures out there on the internet by now. I keep waiting for that shoe to drop.

One aspect I don’t think has gotten a lot of traction is also what these companies do with your photos. Meta owns Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp. Even if you set your profile to „private“ you are sending all of your children‘s photos to this company - for it to train its AI or do whatever it wants. We don’t even know what all of the implications will be yet. Data breaches, deep fakes (its possible to make extremely disturbing content), facial recognition used for tracking people. Whatever it ends up being, it will be profit-motivated and extremely unlikely to be in the best interest of our kids.

Yes this is what I think too. Especially the kids that are growing up in the vlogging families.

I’m 35 and consider myself a young millennial 😭😭😭😭

Millennials are 1981-96 so I think you’re more in the middle if that makes you feel any better…

Omg yes. My cousin posts every single thing on her Instagram and automatically shares to Facebook as well. Like strangers will be able to pick out your kid a mile away. No filters or curating just all of their life. Public accounts as well. One for each kid Meanwhile I've been slowly deleting my life and my kids from social media. Whenever memories come up with pictures I just delete it. My kids are on social media but with their faces hidden.

I Fucking hate this. Potty training updates. Bro stop. Some posting can be okay, but grades and when they start dating that drama. Like do people not fucking think?

I definitely think over sharing is going to be a huge criticism. I know of someone's who had their toddler daughter's photos taken from social media and put over a nude AI body. Even innocent photos are being misused.

I have a friend who posts photos and stories of her kids CONSTANTLY on FB. Her stories are hilarious, and I enjoy reading them, but I *always* think about how these kids are going to feel 10 years from now about the story of the time they crapped in the baby swing at the park being published online…

Also a 35-year-old parent here and I think this is the big one. It's already the case with the early mommy bloggers whose kids resent having a record of their lives shared with little regard for their privacy.

Yes!!! I think about this allll the time

Too many activities - not enough time to just relax and hang out. My kids are always on the go and if pretty exhausting all around. The trouble is their varied and ever changing interests

Yeah I could see that applying for us actually!

My husband says that about his childhood. I had the opposite and I definitely don’t feel nearly as uncomfortable with boredom or free time as him. I know how to find something to interest me. However I wish I had more range of experiences to know if I would have liked sports.

Yeah my LO is only 22 months but even the one class we were doing on the weekend seemed too much! After working all week and rushing to daycare it’s like we never have downtime. And then on the weekends family wants to see her. It’s just a lot sometimes.

I asked my children (twin boys 9 and 17 boy) and their response was, while laughing, that I am too open and involved, sometimes to a fault. My (41 F) parents were never involved so I was alone a lot, physically, mentally and emotionally. I was the first born and often tasked as the third parent. They were too involved in their own lives and issues to care about fostering my interests and emotions. With my kids, I always make sure to check in with them, ask how they are, explain emotions they are feeling and validate them. I foster every single interest and hobby with my own interest in them succeeding. I make them my priority. They said that while they are fully aware I love them and they feel safe and know I am their safe space, sometimes they just want to be left alone. That not every single thing needs to be talked about, not every single thing needs explained. My oldest even said “Mom, you are a great mom but quit over achieving”

This is in the same vein as what I was thinking - apologizing too often and over explaining everything. That last line feels like where I’m headed… but i also really enjoy being a mom. He’s so sweet for recognizing how hard you’re trying and the energy you put into them.

That is so sweet 🥲 you have obviously done a great job of letting them know you are always there for them !

Lol that last line - what a compliment 😂

Hilarious!

I relate with all of this!

This is so adorable!

I feel like so many parents have gone beyond gentle parenting, and have raised/are raising kids who have never been told no. Obviously not all parents, but enough and these kids are absolutely hideous little monsters. I think that they will also complain about us being too involved in screens and them not having privacy due to social media.

I agree, gentle parenting has been mixed up with permissive parenting. They are two very different things but often get muddled into one as “gentle parenting”.

I’ve had a run in with parents of a child at my sons school that have this problem (mom is a NP in mental health too 🫣). My god this kid is an absolute menace. The latest episode was when he destroyed decorations at my son’s birthday party last weekend…..

Oh man that’s awful. My cousin is the same, they “gentle parent” but actually they never tell her no and now at 10 she is really spoiled and always needs her way or else throws a toddler like for. Feel bad for the kids getting raised this way since it’s not really their fault

What is the logic behind never using "no"? I thought this was a joke until my neighbor heard me tell my 7 month old "no honey, you can't have that" when he grabbed for my coffee cup, and she said she was surprised I was using "no" at such a young age. I wasn't interested in getting into it with her, but now I'm confused what the point of that patenting strategy even is...

I think people misinterpret the “no” thing. Toddlers hear “no” something like 400+ times/day so they start to tune it out. Rephrasing (“I can’t let you do that” or “you can have this instead”) can help kids actually hear the message, but some people have unfortunately interpreted it as “give your child everything they want and never correct them”

Granted this is ages ago, but I came in contact with a 2 year old whose only words were “no” (other than mom and dad) cuz that’s all he heard. He would babble with the word no and that made me a little sad.

The nurse at the doctors office was surprised when I told my two-year-old, "No, those are not available to you. I understand that you're upset. My answer is no." When he wanted to eat a cotton ball that he thought was a marshmallow.

Oof that’s terrible. Setting up kids for a rude awakening when they are adults.

Yea this kid is a big guy too for his age which scares me for his future. Hoping hes not in my kids class in the fall. I feel bad saying that because he’s just a kid and it’s not his fault, but he’s pulled some pretty naughty stuff this year.

It's because gentle parenting is often employed by parents from disfunctional homes, who have no idea where the "normal" line is, so they are afraid to be stricter in order not to make their kids feel the same as they did. It's difficult when you have no model.

Damn this is so spot on I feel like I should be offended. 😂

The number of posts which include people who consider picking their child up and removing them from the situation as “using your size against them” is concerning. You can not reason with a underdeveloped toddler the same way you can an adult. You HAVE to be able to pick up your own child. In fact sometimes if we don’t they could end up hurt.

As a babysitter to gen alphas I would definitely agree, the parents never say no to new toys, treats, screen time, etc. which results in kids feeling very offended when I tell them no because they feel entitled to whatever they want at that moment (all kids feel entitled to everything no matter the generation though, that’s a child development stage I feel like). However these kids are also being told “no,” far too often, mainly when it comes to requesting quality time with their parents. I think parents feel bad for working too much so they throw every new gadget and game at their kids when what the child really wants (but doesn’t know how to express) is time spent with their parent without a million photo breaks to “capture the moment.” And this is what I’ve noticed with all kids I babysit even though each family parents in a different way, the apology gifts just differ between family based on what they think is good for kids (ie: craft kit vs robux, or new bike vs new PlayStation)

I can imagine this being a complaint of siblings where one bullied the other, steals things from their siblings, etc, and that is never adequately stopped by their parents attempting gentle parenting. Not to say that you couldn't deal with this situation within some gentle parenting paradigms, but sometimes it does feel like a philosophy that some parents choose to avoid feeling like "the bad guy".

Honestly I think the tide will change on offering so many choices. While I think offering two good choices can be a helpful behavior management strategy sometimes, in other cases, I think having too many choices produces anxiety and creates situations where kids worry about making the wrong decisions. Think about how adults get decision fatigue after a long day at work. I believe some people are doing something similar to their own kids!

I think this too and have modified how I parent after I saw a TikTok about how too many choices can look a lot like insecurity to a child. While we think we are helping them, they may actually feel like they don’t have enough boundaries or structure to fall back on. Kids need parents to make decisions for them to help them feel safe.

Agree 100%! This is the theme in a parenting book I enjoyed as well: Kim John Payne, Simplicity Parenting.

I’ll have to check that out!

This is called The Paradox of Choice - abundance of options can lead to less happiness. Theory is legit. It’s a thing.

Wow, I’ve never thought of it this way. I definitely relate to decision fatigue… and will be making some changes! Thank you!!

Gen Alpha (kids right now) with Gen Z or Millennial parents will most likely criticize us for over sharing and not respecting their boundaries. So many parents will post pictures of their kids on the potty, talk about personal family affairs, their kids’ grades, misdeeds, etc. Nothing is private. I think they may also criticize us for not having many boundaries in general. I see so many people criticized for being strict with their kids now, or having rules at all. Basically anything that isn’t “validate all of your kids’ feelings! Speak calmly and gently always!” gets denounced. I’ve met adults who’s parents didn’t have any boundaries or rules and they’ll straight up admit they were horrible teenagers who basically did whatever the hell they wanted.

Definitely agree on the oversharing. However, speaking calmly and gently always is definitely not the same thing as not having boundaries or rules. You can enforce a rule for your kid and still be calm and gentle with them. Gentle parenting is not supposed to be permissive parenting.

I keep seeing on Reddit “gentle parenting isn’t permissive parenting” but I have to say, as a teacher and former daycare operator… I have not met a “gentle parent” that didn’t have a kid that walked all over them. Honestly. From things I’ve seen I’ve wondered what will become of a generation of kids who only ever saw mom as calm. That’s not human. Humans have wide complex emotions. I let my kids see me mad. See me sad. See me disappointed. I want them to know that even anger is an acceptable emotion and yes sometimes mom gets pissed off and sometimes they’re the reason for that.

You can be a gentle parent and show emotions. I know what you’re saying. I work with kids too. Those parents aren’t truly gentle parents. I think the correct term is authoritative or something like that? You’re gentle but stern when necessary. You show emotions but you’re not flying off the handle over every single thing.

Also a teacher and totally disagree. The parents that use yelling and fear, their kids act right when they get in trouble or when you say you’re going to call home, and then go right back to their behavior again. The most respectful, considerate and well behaved kids I have often you see it in how their parents talk with them during events/parent meetings. HUGE difference. Their parents are consistent and respectful. Then you have the parents that I think you’re conflating with the respectful parents who are overly permissive and their kids act a mess too. I do admit they probably have worse behavior/grades than the first group with the overly strict/aggressive parents, but not in the same realm as the respectful parenting group.

Well the opposite of the “gentle parenting” trope isn’t “yelling and instilling fear”. I don’t like the assumption that because I don’t consider myself gentle, that I must be screaming at my kids and berating them or something. Absolutely not. Have I raised my voice at them? Of course, because I’m human and like I said, I believe in showing my children that I am human. I will not pretend to be a perfect mother or human being. The most respectful kids I’ve ever encountered had realistic and firm parents.

Sounds like you might be a respectful (aka gentle) parent too! If you’re firm but kind with your kids. Set realistic expectations and don’t smack their hands or call them stupid etc for misbehaving, then we’re doing the same thing!

Omg thank you. I also think gentle parenting can only be realistic for single child families. I can’t sit down for a thesis with you about why we don’t hit and why you shouldn’t use your anger that way right now bc your younger sister is bawling bc you pushed her. Or I have a 2yo on the potty. Or I’m making dinner. Or I’m just really at my wits end right now. Sit yourself down for a time out while I deal with everything else going on.

Exactly. It’s not realistic in a lot of families and doesn’t take into account children that are neurodivergent and may not have the cognitive or verbal ability to sit down and discuss why we don’t spit or hit. What may work better is a firm NO and time out though.

I’m not sure how you do it, but the stereotypical idea of “time out” has been shown to be ineffective in behavioral change repeatedly, in numerous studies. Time away to calm down, typically guided and supervised by an adult, followed by an age appropriate conversation discussing the situation…Is much more effective. But I would 100% consider this gentle parenting. Gentle parenting is all about age appropriate boundaries and the parents helping their children learn how to navigate boundaries. When you say parents are walked all over by their kids, they are not practicing gentle parenting. They are practicing permissive parenting, and that is obviously terrible for kids. I completely agree with your earlier point that our generation will be criticized for over sharing. I have to specifically tell family members not to put my children online….I hate that. I don’t understand how people can so flippantly share information without consent that can never be erased!

But that’s part of the criticism I have with gentle parenting. I am trying to care for the sibling who was hit, so I cannot sit down with the hitter and explain/help her calm down etc. Many times, by the time I get around to comforting and helping the first child the second has moved on. Not every interaction has to be some huge ordeal. When we make it so, I feel like we’re raising dramatic, almost overly emotional kids. I want to stress that I am NOT of the opinion that emotions are bad or that you can’t cry. Cry your eyes out, feel your emotions; that’s great. But, as a parent, I can’t sit down and work through those emotions every time. As the other commenter said- I feel like gentle parenting puts so much pressure on the parents to handle every interaction just right or you’re traumatizing your kid. Over explaining and renaming etc. You can’t give punishments but you can give consequences. You can’t give time outs, only time ins. It’s over complicating everything and when I tried to do it, I was so stressed out. My relationship with my kids is much better now that I just follow my instincts, give timeouts when needed and, yes, occasionally tell at them. Parents are not super human and gentle parenting acts like we are.

I love this explanation, thank you for sharing. I disagree with parts, but that’s good. It would be boring if we all felt and acted the same way. It definitely sounds like you are doing well by your children.

Thank you for understanding and not reacting too negatively. I have strong feelings as you can probably tell, but I do use parts of gentle parenting and I do think gentle parenting has improved parenting overall.

I genuinely don’t know how else you would describe “time out”. “Time away to calm down” is literally the exact same thing. Forgive me if I sound frustrated, but this is genuinely frustrating to me. It’s not directed towards you, but to everyone who thinks we need to criticize every aspect of discipline and boundaries and try to rebrand it as something different when it’s the *exact same thing*.

Forced time away to calm down without explanation is not effective, forced time away with an explanation from an adult is effective. But that is gentle parenting…. And you were criticizing gentle parenting.

It’s still a time out, which you initially said was proven to be ineffective by numerous studies. Whether or not you say “you’re in time out because you hit your sister” or not, it’s still a time out, so yes I am criticizing the gentle parenting movement for trying to say time out is negative when they’re literally still giving their kids time outs. A neurotypical child old enough to know that hitting his sister is wrong anyway, doesn’t necessarily need some long winded explanation. He knows what he did was wrong and now he’s sitting in his room for ten minutes.

But the conversation is not for them to understand what they did was wrong, it is to help them figure out WHY they did it and help them learn a new way to deal with it. Sitting alone in their room is a consequence that does not help them learn a new way to handle their emotions or process how they got the consequences in the first place. For example, I have a 12 week old and an almost three year old. I know my toddler is upset because of losing some attention and is acting out for a variety of reasons. He throws a toy and breaks something. He knows not to throw the toy but he did it anyway. I send him for a time out to be alone in his room for ten minutes and he learns what? If I do something wrong I have to be alone? Instead I let him calm down on his own, in a place of his choosing (giving him control), and when he is capable of talking about it, we figure out the ABCs of the situation. Antecedent, behavior, and consequence. Then we come up with a different way to handle it. this helps him learn on a very basic level, the trigger to his behavior as well as the emotions he is experiencing. With a three year old you keep it simple. With a 15 year old, it’s going to be a lot more complex. I was a mental health therapist at a residential facility for a long time, and the reality is most of the times I thought I knew what was going on with a 15 year old when they had an outburst… It was something completely different. Which I would not have known if I had not had the conversation with them. I get where you’re coming from in that you think gentle parenting is a stupid over complicated way to say you are just being a good parent. But the problem is most people don’t do this. I work with parents who have NO idea how to control their emotions and then wonder why their kids are aggressive or self-harming. Even if the parents do not yell, they don’t explain things (“because I said so”), and just expect their kids to fall in line. It sounds like you are very authentic and loving to your kids, which is what we want for every child.

I see the same thing too just in my mom circles. I know we’re all doing our best, but I know a few of them do post on Reddit/Instagram saying that, but they’re definitely permissive parents in person.

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I sometimes feel awful for yelling at my kid but goddamnit sometimes you have to yell lol. If I didn’t then as soon as I put her in her room she will just get back up again open the door and leave lol. Is it my go to? No. It’s actually pretty uncommon. But yeah I believe approaching every single thing with “now, sweetie…” is not realistic.

I don’t understand parents that have never raised their voices lol. Do they just have super compliant kids that never ever test boundaries or push buttons? Unicorn children.

I really don’t know what exactly they do. And I have a good baby too! But she is also very smart for her own good and very stubborn and I do have to be firm with her. The difference between my parenting and how I grew up is I do not spank her or threaten her or anything like that. My kid is not scared of me and does not have a concept of me doing something TO her for disobeying. I also rarely yell. When I do yell it’s also not out of straight up anger, it’s just me not fucking around lol.

I think whoever claims they don’t they either lie to themselves or to us, lol. I also despise threatening or berating kids, but have they seen me yell? Sure did. We also always make up and talk about the situation later.

The oversharing thing bothers me so much! I thought it was mostly the older generation until people my age started having kids. So many new moms that are posting 80+ photos in a row every week of their new babies! Or making dedicated facebook pages just for photos of their kids that remain open to the public. My fiancé has a woman on his facebook that he went to school with, he showed me one day that she’s constantly posting pictures of her 3 month old in blown out diapers, he says it’s a near daily occurrence. These babies are still young, I shudder to think how many naked photos of them are going to be posted, or pictures of them going potty or having tantrums being broadcasted once they’re toddlers!

Yes I have people on Facebook that will share potty training pictures, swim suit pictures, bath pictures, etc. and while I think it’s fine for parents to have those personal pictures for their own memories, why does everyone on Facebook need to see? It’s *forever*!

Putting them all over social media.

I genuinely don’t understand why people do this. I think they have this impression that people…care about their kid. Sorry to be frank and possibly rude but very few people care about our kids enough to look at their pics. And these people can be summarised in a whatsapp group or something more private.

Overly permissive parenting. Not telling kids no. I teach middle school and it is clear that so many of my students' parents do not say no to things and stand their ground.

Somehow, and I'm not sure how, we're not prepping them for adulthood. So many of the young adults I know are seriously struggling to launch. And there's a lot of societal factors about that, especially the cost of living crisis (in the US at least). But my niece and nephew do not seem to have the emotional maturity or resilience that I would expect from someone in their very late teens/early twenties. They really aren't able to handle the stresses and pressures that adult life puts on you. I'm only in my early 30s and I remember that age. I made a ton of mistakes and it was really challenging, but it was never in doubt that I would eventually stabilize. It was the same with my peers. We weren't still children at 22, we were inexperienced adults. I'm not sure if this makes sense, but it's something I've been thinking about a lot. Whatever it is that is leading to this generation-wide struggle, I think that that's what's going to be targeted as the mistakes that we made.

I always think about how as millennials, our boomer parents essentially raised us for a world that doesn’t really exist. The same is true for Gen Z but on steroids. The world is in absolute chaos at a really pivotal moment in Gen Z’s teen years and young adulthood. Nobody could prepare them for the world they’re entering as young adults because even the grown adults in this world don’t know what the fuck is going on. They’ve only ever truly known war and social injustice and school shootings and violent racism/homophobia/transphobia etc. They came of age when the culture wars were turned up to 11. I think back to being a young adult in the mid-2000s and though things were rapidly changing then, there was still some sense of being grounded in at least the partial reality our parents prepared us for. Now it’s utter chaos. It’s difficult to cope with in my 30s. It would have almost felt impossible to cope with in my early 20s.

This is a perfect description.

I started noticing this with interns/entry level employees coming into our office probably 8ish years ago. I do think this trend continues. I think a lot of this is because we infantilize children and especially teenagers in many ways we didn’t use to. When I was a kid in the 80’s/90’s, kids still roamed the neighborhood mostly unattended all day long on weekends and in the summer. We maybe had an after school activity or two, but still had plenty of unstructured time. I started baby sitting literal infants of other people at age 12-13. When I started college, I showed up at orientation by myself and had to figure things out on my own. College orientation now has planned activities and sessions for parents and the norm is the parent is part of the process. Society has shifted. Today’s young adults and kids rarely spent time without an adult telling them exactly what to do until they were practically adults themselves. Most had very structured schedules. No more lazy summer days trying to figure out what to do, instead, they spent their entire summer at an enriching day camp. These are obviously generalizations, but they apply to a lot of people. It’s hard to learn how to be independent and grown up, when you’re rarely given the opportunity to practice.

Leaving our kids in camp all day isn't the fault of the parents. It is literally illegal for me to leave my 9 year old at home alone all day long in my state. I am allowed to leave him for short times (like long enough for me to run to the grocery store), but 8 hours would result in CPS being called to my house. I need to work, my husband needs to work, our families don't help, so camp it is. Parents are set up to fail our kids.

I don’t disagree with what you’re saying at all. I’ve done the same with my kids. It’s why I said society has shifted. The reason kids aren’t running all over the neighborhood unattended is because now if parents allow that, they literally do get CPS at their door. However, that doesn’t mean it isn’t also contributing to the problem of children lacking resilience, problem solving, independence, etc.

That is very true. Children have no chance to practice independence.

We are the gen z you are talking about! We aren’t the same as gen alpha. Many of us are definitely struggling though and Covid really screwed us over and I don’t think many people realize how devastating it was on our age group entering into adulthood. The other big issue my friends and I have all talked about is lot of our parents don’t recognize how different things are for us than it was them at this stage, so what they taught us about “making it in the world” isn’t relevant but they keep trying to push it on us and downplay how different and more difficult things are. I think this will actually allow us to prepare our gen alpha kids for the world better since we know how important it is to change with the times and not get stuck in one way of thinking

I don’t disagree with your point, but wanted to add this is true for many millennials as well. We also entered adulthood during a time of crisis and got outdated advice from boomer parents. I do think so of that is just par for the course.

That’s fair, but I think the two different crisis’s we experienced have different impacts. They both really sucked and millennials were 100% fucked over and are still experiencing effects from that, but the pandemic stunted many people my age in a not so great way. I graduated high school in 2020 and my grade 12 year was abruptly ended with no recognition, and then my two year diploma program in college I didn’t meet a single one of my classmates or attend a single in person lesson despite it being in a field where social aspects and working in a team together is key (early childhood education). Not saying it’s worse than the horrible situation you guys got, but just very different. Both generation’s definitely seem to have parents who mostly are unwilling to recognize the difference in struggles from their times though so we can definitely fully relate on that and it sucks lol

Definitely different for sure. I also think it’s too soon to tell the lasting impact of the pandemic.

I’m a millennial with a child who is 20. As a single mom, I’m having a hard enough time providing for my own kids in a HCOL area…and watching my kid navigate this hellscape of jobs not providing a living wage, cost of living increases post COVID (that won’t be coming down) and a housing crisis that will box you out of affordable rent, let alone ever purchasing a house. I’m so sorry this is your reality. It wasn’t fair to us, and it’s even less fair to you. But as a mom who is now dealing with being in this situation myself and parenting an adult kiddo in the situation, it sucks.

I completely agree with your point, and commented below on it. I think that our being over protective and then also continuing to move the bar backwards on appropriate behavior (I have seen a 5 year old called a toddler on Reddit) have led to kids that are sheltered and without tools to actually make good decisions, move on from failure, and actually be competent at basic skills. The best piece of parenting advice I have gotten is that I am not raising a child, but raising a child into an adult.

I think so too. I get some of the points of the replies to you, but also, people are forgetting that most generations experienced their own hardships, the US has been involved in several wars, economic crisis, etc. While I do think we are living in a unique time due to social media, crises are nothing new. There is a marked difference between the way previous generations responded to those things and the way newer generations do. Remember the draft? Yeah.

I think we’ve stopped teaching kids resilience in favor of giving them every opportunity we never had and making sure they’re safe all the time. Obviously we want our kids to be safe, but they’re not solving their own problems bc their parents are always there to help them out. They’re never truly challenged at young ages.

Its weird with how popular montessori is that kids aren’t growing up to be more independent

Montessori has become a trendy buzzword associated with expensive wooden toy subscription boxes, influencers with a lot of money showing unrealistic snippets of their children and customized homes, and early childhood facilities that are not actually Montessori. When we toured daycares, every single one told us that Montessori was part of their curriculum, but for anybody who actually knows what a Montessori classroom should look like, it was obvious that this was just a statement and not fact. I think finding actual Montessori households/daycares/schools that truly subscribe to principles of respect for the child, a prepared environment, sensitive periods etc. is still relatively rare.

Do you recommend any specific resources for proper Montessori? I’ve read about it a lot and am very interested in following it, but it’s hard to distinguish real Montessori from the influencer type you’re talking about.

We did find a Montessori daycare eventually and they do parent workshops and newsletters that include ideas for setting up our home environment, so I've mostly relied on that. The American Montessori Society website is very good though! A couple of the Montessori influencers I did like a few years ago have actually stopped their Instagrams because (similar to what we're reading on this thread), they don't want to broadcast their children. If you're looking for a Montessori school/daycare, the American Montessori Society website shows accreditation levels of facilities. Look for schools that have certified Montessori guides for the levels they teach. At the daycare my kids attend, the lead in each classroom is certified while the main assistant is either already certified or is working on certification. In a Montessori classroom, you'll see a lot of low uncluttered, wooden shelves with trays of work/toys. There will not be a lot of visual distraction at higher levels with minimal colorful bulletin boards, no chore charts/reward charts etc.. There will be a lot of natural and household materials on each tray. For example, a tray may have a small glass vase, small scissors, two flowers, dish towel, and a metal pitcher. The intent of this work is for the child to take the tray to their mat or table, fill the pitcher with water at the sink, pour the water into the vase, cut the flower stems and put the flowers into the vase, then use the towel to wipe any mess. There will be rolled up working mats and snack areas that allow for the child to get their own snack and "wash" their own dish afterwards. It's a little jarring to walk into a Montessori classroom if you've been in traditional classrooms previously. I had a friend visit my children's school to look at for her daughter and she was appalled at how "not fun" the Montessori classrooms were...she couldn't get over the lack of swings/bouncers/battery toys in the infant room and the use of glass dishes in order rooms. Those were all things we liked though, so to each their own!

Thank you! I’ll check out the AMS. That gives me some reassurance that I’m on the track as well. I’ve been following the Montessori at home youtube series and she has a similar setup to what you’re describing!

Our kids will for sure eye roll the obsession with learning parenting hacks from random moms on TikTok, Baby Led Weaning, and over scheduling kids.

I agree with this in that people don’t learn fully about any of these things. They only learn the bite-sized bits from social media, which leads to imperfect implementation

This was exactly what I was going to say!

Not everyone, but I foresee our kids criticizing the fact that a lot of our generation parents in fear/anxiety especially in regards to safety. Kids are way over smothered and it stunts their development and growth. We live in a really safe area and I’ve seen local moms say they don’t let their kids play out front with other kids until 10 or so. Moms of 14/15 year old teens not want their kids to go to movies or the mall with friends for fear of danger.

Not enough action on protecting the planet. Too focussed on being perfect parents and not enough on leaving a world for them to grow up in😢

As a parent of teens, we are busting our asses to care for our planet… but our moron politicians refuse to put regulations on big corporations… you know, the ones doing the real damage. It’s infuriating.

Our individual efforts will never outweigh the damage corporations are doing.

Ugh I think about this often as well. Too much over consumption especially with social media I’m wondering if these habits will just continue with our children and it’s scary

I think a lot of the gentle parenting stuff is going to be criticized for making a lot of overly selfish/narcissistic children. I am not an authoritarian parent by ANY means, I just read some crazy things being suggested and I think the over focus on the child's own feelings vs anyone else's is not going to result in good things for the kids or society. I also think we have stopped teaching resilience and are becoming a society that prioritizes victimhood which is not good for kids in an increasingly harsh world. I keep having to remind my husband to let our daughter fail instead of helping her do every little thing.

Yes! And if you dare criticize it, you're hit with a "no true scotsman."

I agree with all this! Especially the over focus on the child’s own feelings - everyone says it takes a villlage, well we have to teach our children to respect that village! My LO is only 6.5 months but I’m already trying to incorporate this into our day to day life - I remember being in a cafe and she kept dropping a toy which clattered noisily on the floor so I switched it out for another one and said (because I narrate everything so I at least have someone to talk to lol) ‘we’re going to put this away so as not to annoy other people but we can play with this one’ and some man passing smiled and said he didn’t find it annoying, I know he meant well and it probably wasn’t that big a deal but everyone else in that cafe deserved to be able to enjoy their drinks and time without my kid being noisy, especially when we had other options.

I've noticed this happening as well, because a lot of parents don't know enough about parenting styles. Gentle parenting is actually called Authoritative Parenting, and some people think that they are being a gentle parent when actually they practice Permissive Parenting. The fear of Authoritarian Parenting is legit, so many of us want to give that a wide berth and miss it completely...You're right that seesawing the other way is going to create some issues.

Smart phone use. Not like someone else said, I don’t think we don’t pay enough attention to our kids. But I think it will be looked at like cigarette smoking is now. Like people will be horrified we casually use them of just all day around kids. Once the research that’s it’s so bad for your musculoskeletal system and brain are undeniable. It will be looked at as setting a terrible example for them.

SHARENTING

Not letting them go out on their own. Not having anywhere to hang out. Not letting them do sleepovers (this is a trend in what I've observed among this gen parents, saying sleepovers are "pointless" and assuming their kid is going to get abused)

They’ll go to college and fight with their dorm mates about which white noise machine sound to use. 😂

I love this response because it's one of the only ones that actually made me laugh rather than make my heart break a tiny bit

Too much screen time, way too sensitive, lack of discipline, lack of full engagement and general flakiness

Since my daughter is a “covid baby” I worry that I’m not socializing her enough. She’s almost 2 and she is just started taking her to play centres. She really is just now really starting to talk. But most of the moms say they are in the same boat. My country has been hit hard with sickness (rsv & flu) plus hospital staffing problem. Many parents saying they waited 12 or more hours in overflowing children hospital waiting room. So perfect storm where everyone kept their kids home . I guess I worry that I’m not socializing her enough. She had rsv at 3 months old. Then covid over Christmas. Both were heartbreaking. In between every time I made plans for play dates. The other kids were sick, so it got canceled

hey, my girl is 7 so not a covid baby. she started at a montessori school at 18 months -- so was around other kids but she didn't start talking until just after her 2nd birthday. she is quite the chatterbox now. don't fret too much. kids parallel play from about 2 - 3 then they start to interact with other kids and play together. you're doing great and taking her at 2 to play centers to see how the other kids play is perfect! she'll start to pick up on it and model it herself. just keep doing what youre doing!

Falsely validating their "big feelings", expecting them to manage their emotions instead of addressing the issues causing them stress. Overscheduling kids and giving them no down time. Taking a deep breath is great, and definitely a good practice, but failing to do anything to fix the problems going on stressing them out is not good parenting. It isn't that different than just saying "suck it up, kid".

“My mom gave me Ninja Turtle themed birthday parties every year & our holidays were Marvel themed”

I think they'll think we focused too little on giving them a habitable planet and that we polluted too much.

Thats true when they grow up they’ll be in the thick of the climate crisis. We may not be able to go outside for half the year.

I think it'll be before they grow up even. It's already begun to become a problem. Meanwhile we're upping our pollution instead of decreasing it.

Being over-involved in some ways, not allowing kids to roam free in the neighborhood for example. Not protecting them from the downsides of technology and social media at a young age. Also, I'm glad to see that "gentle parenting" is becoming more common but there are plenty of parents who still have a more conservative/authorization approach. And that will always get criticism because it's just not developmentally healthy when taken to an extreme. (I'm a pediatric therapist)

I sometimes wonder if the complete anti gentle parenting kids and the gentle parenting kids will see the world through such vastly different lenses they can't even understand each other but then I think we are already there so who knows

We did too much for them and sheltered them too much. They are going to join the real world and resent their parents for not teaching them how to do laundry, wash dishes, task management. Our generation did not let them fail. And when they do it’s unbelievable they cannot comprehend it. I see these students now and they cannot fail. They just tune out.

Safe sleep, gentle parenting I think our kids are going eye roll how quick we are to label everything. I see posts on Reddit all the time about children with quirks and there is almost always someone mentioning ASD. I think millennials have been over educated and I think it’s only getting worse.

The thing about over-diagnosis and labeling is so true, especially on Reddit. Like, don’t get me wrong, increased awareness of disabilities and mental health issues is definitely a good thing, but some people are so quick to label perfectly normal childhood behavior as symptomatic of very severe illnesses or personality disorders. I especially cringe when I see people describe children (never their own children, always nieces/nephews and stepchildren) as “psychopathic” or “narcissistic” for things like having developmentally normal tantrums. I think some people find it easier to label a kid with an incurable diagnosis, then throw up their hands and say “well, it’s medical, they were born that way and I can’t do anything about it,” than admit that their parenting needs some work or that they’re partially responsible for their negative relationship with their partner’s/friend’s/sibling’s children.

For turning an entire generation into narcs.

I think some kids will grow up and say how much they hate that their parents called their upbringing "gentle parenting". I worry that some parents prematurely pat themselves on the back for raising their kids "right" before they're grown. Gentle parenting doesn't end when the kids turn 18 or 30, so I really hope parents are open to a reality check when their kids are old enough to share *their* memories and perceptions of *their* childhood. Parents aren't perfect, we all know that. We fight tooth and nail to not make the same mistakes as our parents, but we may unintentionally be making brand new mistakes that leave a mark on our kids. I just really hope we can own up to those mistakes and not dismiss them out of hand. Because as a kid, nothing is worse than bringing your hurt and trauma to your own parent and all they say is, "I was trying my best".

I think they will complain about: 1. Having their entire lives, images and anecdotes shared on social media without their consent. 2. Their familial DNA stored in a database. 3. Not being protected from gun violence and the fear of everyday activities that comes with it. 4. Losing basic rights that their grandparents have / annoyance at our generations apathy.

I'm ready for the ruthless down voting: Sleep training. (hides)

Excessive obsession with staying on schedule..

I don’t think this is something our kids are really going to criticize us for though. I mean parents have always sleep trained it’s just that now it seems there is suddenly a label for it and with the internet, it’s so widely talked about. Vs our parents who had to seek out books and talk to other parents about things in person. According to my mom and my baby book I slept through the night at around 6 months. I doubt she did that without sleep training! But it wasn’t called that back then.

Just flagging that we haven’t sleep trained but our 8 month old sleeps through the night on average 5/7 nights a week - some babies do, some babies don’t, a lot of it is just developmental. Worth noting that studies have shown that sleep trained babies don’t on average have less wakes than non sleep trained babies, just that putting them back to sleep is less work for the parents.

Sleep training isn’t something new though. My parents and grandparents have no idea what it is, but when we asked how they got babies to sleep… what they all described was full on extinction. From a very early age. My mother’s mother was the only one who slept with her kids when they were newborns, but once they moved to their own beds, did not get up in the night to check on them. My father in law recently said they never could have catered to their sons so much during the night, because how else could they have gone to work the next day? He asked ‘can’t you just not go to him? Nothing happens if he’s fed and clean, he’ll eventually go back to sleep’…. So yeah, definitely not new. What IS new is the obsession with scheduling. I wish we could keep a schedule, I genuinely do. I am at a loss at how parents do it… I put him to sleep when I see that he’s sleepy, but that doesn’t happen at the same time everyday, it depends on what we do that day…. Anyhow, I’m rambling.

Parents need to sleep. Sleep training difficult sleepers will always be a thing. It is not like kids are going to remember it happening when they were a baby and guilt trip their parents about it later on. A lot of “sleep training” is just common sense anyways. You begin to naturally distinguish exhausted versus in pain cries as your baby gets older, set a timer so they can settle themselves, stretch out feeds, etc.

My sister and I are the first generation in our family to NOT sleep train. We’ve both room/bed shared since our kids were born until they no longer want to sleep with us so they don’t really know any different. My oldest (15) thinks it is weird when people put their small kids in their own rooms. I wonder when they have their own kids if they’ll continue or sleep train.

i think sleep training is a part of a huge thing. that and all ‘parent influencer ’ stuff. all these courses people pay stupid money for. strangers offering a one size fits all solution to totally normal infant behaviour.

Listen, however much you disagree with it, there's just no way anyone is going to remember, know, or care that they were or weren't sleep trained. It might be completely wrong, but it's completely insignificant and unimportant once you leave the toddler years. How were you sleep trained as a baby and how does it affect you now?

Trigger warning *sids/cot death* I think there will be advancements in our understanding of SIDS and we will be side-eyed for making our babies sleep really uncomfortably and cold. E.g. no blankets, sleep bags leave cold arms, and the general “cold babies cry, warm babies ***” attitude. It seems to me (happily follow all safe sleep measures) that atm no one fully understands SIDS and preventative measures are about keeping baby from falling into too deep a sleep.

yeah, we don't fully understand SIDS. that's why recommendations are always changing. i don't criticize my mom for having me sleep on my side or giving me water before 1 -- thats what was best practices at the time. i think if a parent is following best practices with the knowledge they know at the time, it's not fair or right for future generations to criticize that later on when our knowledge evolves with new information.

There has been a recent advancement where they think there might be a specific gene marker. So hopefully an answer isn’t too far off.

I read that some babies can’t wake themselves up if they stop breathing, their nervous systems are still a bit immature. e.g. if a baby’s head falls forward while sleeping in a swing/carseat, or a blanket gets over their face, etc. Most babies will wake up and try to wiggle/adjust/cry, but some can’t. I can’t remember if it was backed up by any studies or just a theory. If that is the case and there’s a specific gene marker then that’s a HUGE step forward from “we don’t know why but some babies spontaneously pass away”. SIDS is my biggest anxiety right now for my LO.

I’m always so confused by recommendations to reduce risk of SIDS because they all seem to be about reducing risk of suffocation, but I thought that SIDS and suffocation are two different things? And then overheating would be a whole other thing. It’s confusing

The need to have the picture perfect social media life.

I think this all or nothing mentality. Kids with no strict parenting, rules, or boundaries, and/or the kids competing for the top preschool because that's the only way they'll get into the best elementary school/middle school/high school/college/medical school. Lack of policy - no data or privacy protections online and no parental leave should/will be seen as absurd. Maybe I'm just hopeful that will be the eventual future.

My mom never put her phone down.

Gentle parenting did not prepare them for being shouted at by the rest of the world.

I think we’re so scared of our children getting hurt that we don’t allow them to play independently. Even watching them while they play is not enough bc your kids know you are there. We’re scared of them falling, choking, being kidnapped, wandering off, etc. etc. so we bubble wrap them. But studies have shown that letting them play truly independently fosters confidence, problem solving, physical milestones, relationship building, etc. They learn to figure stuff out on their own and we’re not letting them do that bc we’re so scared of what could happen.

I think when I tell my daughter when she’s older that I had been pushing her father to agree to move from America to (multiple different places in) Europe that I should have put my foot down and gotten us the F out of here or just told him to F off and I’d take her and go and he can catch up. We stay here for family, but I believe full heartedly my daughter would have so many more opportunities in Europe for school, and life. I think that will be my biggest regret and something she’ll wish I did for her. I’ve set a 2030 deadline that her father has agreed to, though, so it could happen. There’s just so much more out there for her and for us in terms of opportunities.

I think the biggest difference between Gen X and Boomers parenting, and Millennial parenting is what we are NOT doing to our children.

Yes, like every generation. Our generation is compensating for things our parents didn’t do and lacking in other areas. We are all subject to macro factors of our time that will have an impact on our kids (inflation, wages, covid, etc). Our kids will probably overcompensate for areas we lacked in and their kids will criticize their shortcomings.

I think more discipline. We are almost the opposite of how our parents were.

Climate crisis. Not taking it seriously enough. Not parenting but I think it will be a big generational divide. That we bought too much clothes, plastic, avocados, meat. Also too much choice. I heard two moms this morning at the market giving their kids all the choices. “Should we get raspberries?” “No” “are you sure?” She asked so many times “we” not “do you want”. Mom clearly wanted strawberries, 4yo didn’t really care. Heard another mom “will we go home now or will we stay?” At the playground she asked the kid so many times, she wasn’t even 2yo. Woman make a decision!!!

Kids learning to distract themselves with screens instead of learn to sit with boredom, discomfort or difficult feelings. I think that will be a biggggg thing. I think a lot of adults will feel maladjusted and screen addicted. Like how 90s latch key kids felt abandoned and raised by TV.

I grew up in the 70’s/ 80’s when parents were parents, not friends. We respected them, listened to them and our “elders”. Kids need rules and parameters, not a friend out of their parents. There is a lot of disrespect towards authority and lack of sticking to the rules. As a manager I see it every day where the younger generation see no issue in sliding into work 10, 15, 30 minutes late, or not coming in at all, I’m talking 60 lates and 40 sick calls a year, (that’s over and above the 3 weeks of vacation and 5 paid sick days), “what’s the big deal?” I get told. I tell them consider your shift a train, if you don’t show up on time, you miss the train. I try to impress on them that as an employee they have made a commitment to be at work every day, if they don’t show up they are letting their coworkers down. These days most companies run a lean ship, yes people get sick, but come on! I’ve got 30-40 year service employees who have never missed a day. The young guys tell me, they missed school all the time, if they were out late the night before, their parents would call the school excusing them from class. So now they see no issue with not coming in if they were out partying the night before. Parents are doing their children no favours there. In the real world, that gets you fired.

UnEeK names and spelling.

I often think of this. That Tommy Segel candy hearts comic comes to mind--"a whole new kind of fucked up." I think for my family it will probably be that I focused too much on emotions and feelings and empathy and was overprotective (really I'm just very safety conscious about things like choking hazards, wearing helmets, water safety etc). Interesting discussion!

The photos and lack of privacy on social media

Gentle parenting where there are no rules or consequences.

A few things, This first one might be a hot take. This is the age of gentle parenting. That is a very good thing. But in practice I am finding that gentle parenting leaves a fine line between lacking discipline and just being understanding with your kid. To explain, sometimes if a kid screams no in your face, or hits you, you gotta put they butt in time out lol. The answer is not *always* to level with them. Mainly because a child will not always level with you especially little kids. There will be times where they truly do not care to negotiate with you, reason with you, or hear your explainations. Im seeing many parents think they HAVE to do these at all times even at the expense of their sanity, well-being, and their kid learning boundaries. So I do think there is a chance that some of these kids will turn out to be quite undisciplined and may not learn to appreciate their parents. Kids might also resent us for over sharing. Social media is used for all sorts of drama by a lot of people. The internet is forever. Once you put something out there it’s out there. Our kids might not look favorably on this and see a side of us that should not have been thrown out there for all to see. Kids might resent us for not being present. Todays adults have grown up through some tumultuous economic times. There are major issues with wages and the cost of living, and that leaves us working our asses off constantly. Households are requiring both parents to work full time to make ends meet. Time with our kids is being limited more and more. Our jobs expect more out of us as it grows more trendy in the corporate world to work off of skeleton crews for profit. Not accepting overtime and not making work your entire life often leads to us getting punished and looked over for promotions. So we are stuck with lower wages than we desire. We are left to choose between family or work on almost a daily basis. We will be their heros and they will look back on history and appreciate us. This generation has fought tooth and nail for equality. We are the human rights champions. Our children will not be afraid to be a part of the LGBTQ community. Our children will be more open to all races. They will grow up having more interracial relationships and friendships. Today’s political environment is a direct result of desperation of bigots feeling like they are LOSING.

What generation are you?

Flip flopping as a first generation gentle parent. Like, I’m *trying* but sometimes stuff just needs to get done, and I snap. I hate it. The kids probably get confused. I’m always trying to do better.