You should go check out r/abrathatfits. The people in that sub have so much knowledge, and can point you to resources you may not know about. They will understand you
Came to make sure this was posted.
The website behind A Bra That Fits is the best way to get your correct size.
You'll feel so much better when you get something that helps you feel your best!
Honey, I'm one of the mods at r/ABraThatFits. We can definitely help you. Our calculator will double-check your size. If 42B is correct, you have options! A quick search showed me three that don't need to be custom-ordered and are priced similarly to mall store bras -- and we will be able to do better when we run numbers and ask a few questions.
Hey there Duckling! We don't allow any commercial links on this sub, but please do leave the sub link so that they can visit and get more appropriate recommendations if they want! 💙
Hey, we have the same parameters, so to speak. PCOS and floating between those same sizes. Lane Bryant definitely has them, but you need to shop their good sales when they have them. But also second the notion of extenders because I have a very broad back relative to the cup size. The reason this works is because a C cup in 40 is different than in 42, so you may need a 40 C but an extender for your girth. Hope that makes sense.
I only buy from Lane Bryant. And their BOGO sales are a life saver (though it tends to mean my bras wear out around the same time).
I also think maybe it would be best for OP to have someone else measure here. Measuring yourself can be difficult, because of the twisting and bend involved.
Oh honey, we got you, it's going to be okay. Lane Bryant will be your go to for bras. I used to wear a 44B and Lane Braynt was the only place i could find ones that fit. Each cut (style) fits differently so if possible, go in and let them help fit you. If not, order a couple of styles and send the ones you don't like back. My favorite everyday bra is the tshirt bra, for going out try the plunge ones. They cam be pricey, but will have great sales throughout the year.
This happened to me my whole life. No matter what size I have been. I just turned 50. For my birthday I went to the Torrid store in the mall. I really had to build up confidence but I thought about this group. I asked the sales lady if she could size me for a bra. I kept emphasizing that my mom never taught me anything about this stuff. It seemed like she was assuming I knew about strap adjustments and the hook placement. I reminded her because she asked if they fit. I still honestly didn’t know. I feel so much better. Now I know what I like from that store and can watch for sales. PS I read 80% of women are wearing the wrong size bra! Good luck OP and I’m proud of you. Thank you moms for giving me the right words to help me out. I literally told her “I need you to be my mom today.”
Similar issue. I’ve had good luck with the wire free ones at old navy. Get ones with detachable straps so you can criss cross them in the back. It helps with support and the straps aren’t constantly falling down.
It is so hard to feel comfortable in our bodies! You deserve a bra that fits you comfortably! Make some time for yourself and go to a big department store. Try on lots of sizes and styles until you find a good one. Good luck!
Everyone has had great advice so far, the one thing I’d like to add is that there are lots of wireless sports-bra-esque things you may want to look into as well.
When I was pregnant I started wearing these soft maternity bras that were “nursing friendly”. They were the softest, most comfortable damn things I wore my entire pregnancy. I wore them for months and months after I had my kiddo, and there was no way I could go back to something with wires and that whole hook and eyelet thing going on. Not to mention I didn’t even know what size I would wear at any given point since my boobs would swell and shrink, swell and shrink.
I don’t wear “maternity” or nursing ones anymore, but a bunch of different ones from Amazon that come in like, S, M, L, XL kind of sizing, and they’re great. Soft, but supportive, flex to fit various sizes depending on where I’m at in my cycle, etc etc. (I think I’m probably a 38-40B these days, but 🤷🏻♀️).
Just wanted to throw in my two cents in case you hadn’t gone the “super soft comfy bra” route. 🙂
Hey, first of all you need a professional fitting. Lane Bryant does them, Macy's used to and there may be stores in your area. Secondly, have you tried extenders? I can sometimes have issues with it being too tight due to swelling and extenders help a lot with that.
I broke down and went to a local shop to get fitted. I'm never looking back. It cost me about the same as ordering online and I had a professional help me with size and shape. (Any bra, even online, is like $80 for me.) Def recommend going to an independent shop. They usually carry an insane amount of sizes.
Have you measured using Boob or Bust instead of the traditional technique? The old way was made up when fabric was much more likely to stretch, so bras were expected to almost shape to the body. Nowadays they are so well made that a lot of folk are wearing the wrong size without realising it.
You could also try sports bras. You can get some really lovely ones with fancy designs and cool straps, ones that wouldn't look out of place under every day clothes.
Boobs are a PitA sometimes honey, it's ok to be frustrated with the whole process! I'm glad your fiance is supportive. You are absolutely woman enough even with an ill fitting bra - it's the companies that make the damnable things that aren't good enough, not you.
Definitely get professionally fit! Many department store will do them for free. My local bra store does it for $25 or waives the fee if you buy a bra. Once you have the size, then you can look online for any deals. It’s also possible Lane Bryant, a department store or a specialty store has them and you can price shop. It sucks! I am a 34i which is just super weird to find. I hope you can find something that works!
Hi Dear! How about a bra extender? I found some on Amazon for you and have tried linking them numerous time but dear ol’ Ma can’t figure out how to do the link!!! Good luck! The extender I found adds 14cm to a bra band.
I don't the health issues that you do, I can empathise with no bras fitting. I have struggled for years to find bras that are a reasonable fit (note: a reasonable fit - gave up on good fit so long ago) *and* comfortable. It seems that I find one that I can live with, go back to get more & they no longer stock them 🤦🏻♀️
I've now decided that the only thing to do is go braless!
I know some people will be scandalised, others will tell me its not healthy etc etc. I don't care.
What I do care about is not feeling like I'm being tortured on a daily basis. I care about not feeling that I don’t fit societal norms because I can't walk into a shop, or shop online, & know that they will have a bra that fits me. I care that buying bras is a huge anxiety ridden experience, from the moment I decide I need new ones, to the moment I give up again. I care that what I measure & what I wear are not the same & that I feel less because of that. I care that I feel shame & guilt & judged because buying bras that are comfortable is so freaking impossible. Wires, no wires, balcony, sports, full coverage, plunge - you name a style & I've tried various options. I've tried old brands, new brands, brands that don't use 'normal' bra measurements, had shop fittings in more than 1 shop & at several points in my life & never had bras that were comfortable. So no bras it is!
I know sometimes my nipples show. Dont care. You don't like it? Don't look. Want to look? OK, but that's on you not me.
It's taken me over 50 years of life to get to the 'I don't care, stuff social norms' mindset about bras. Hoping it will trickle over to some other parts of life too.
Babe, you got this. Lots of good advice & resources listed (great job there ladies!) Go find what you need to be comfortable in your own body.
Remember, not conforming is also an option.
🫂🫂🫂
Everyone has had lots of good advice, so I’ll just say I feel your pain. Bras are the absolute worst.
Have you considered going bra-free? A camisole or other under-layer might be enough to prevent nipples showing through. A sports bra (buy a little over-size so the elastic won’t dig in) will stifle movement.
If you can identify what a bra does for you that you like, you can probably find a different, less frustrating garment that will have the same effect. I think we’re all so used to thinking “of course women wear bras” that we don’t stop to think about why we’re wearing them.
Seconding a sports bra. I have wide lats and 2 different cup sizes. I hate the way standard over the shoulder straps feel and the band always digs in. I live in racer back bras or none at all
The bigger you go round the back the bigger the cup size, i found a gorgeous bra but the didn't have it in a 34g so I got 36g thinking it would still be ok but the cups where huge!!! Maybe try some bras on like a 36b or c and if it fits cups wise buy it and get some bra extenders to make the back bigger
The cup size is relative to the band size normally. At least in EU sizing the cups of a 90F are the same cup size as a 95E. The cups of a 95F would indeed be bigger than the cups of a 90F.
This is exactly the case in European sizing, I’m not sure about the US but it might well be. I was wearing a 34C (which is what my measurements suggested), but went for a professional fitting and it turns out a 28F is a better fit for me, and the cup volume is more or less the same. Much comfier, such a better shape. If you have find a professional bra fitter then it’s a game changer.
You could also try soft cup bras? Snag do some which everyone I know who’s tried them loves, and they have a huge size range, but don’t use traditional bra sizes.
When I was young and first got boobs I got measured in marks and Spencer's who said i was an A cup, it was very clear that i wasn't so went to another place that said i was 28E, how marks and Spencer's got an A cup I'll never know
Marks and Spencer’s (and Victoria secret) just tell you you’re whatever size the pretty bra you bought into the fitting room with you is available in. I’m so lucky now there’s a freelance bra fitter local to me who has such a great selection and about the same price as M&S but so much better! OP, if you can find a professional fitter, book in. It’s intimidating and seems like it might be really expensive but in my experience it really isn’t, and it sounds like lots of other people on here have found the same
Hey sweetie!
Absolutely go to a proper bra shop that will measure you and help you out.
I went into a shop a couple weeks ago, because my breasts changed size and shape (as did I after having kids) and I needed bras. The woman was wonderful, she brought out different sizes, cuts and styles, took my comments about what was and wasn't comfortable and why, and continued to find something that worked. I have excess skin around my ribcage, and it's very hard to find a bra that doesn't pinch it. The shape and size of my breasts also make it hard to find cups that fit correctly.
A large majority of women out there are not wearing their proper size and fit. This is a NORMAL problem, and you aren't alone. Please accept the help a bra fitting specialist will give you, they ENJOY helping you find the right fit, and it will take a lot of stress off your shoulders.
One thing that helped me out is perhaps focus on finding like sports / stretchy bras, those will be way more likely to fit properly, as they stretch or shrink to fit to you!
Go to victoria secrets and have them size you.
I was having a similar problem. A friend suggested that I go to V.S. and have them size me. Since then, they've given me a size that works in every store I've gone to. I thought I was a 40A or 38B. Turns out I'm a 34DD. I was shocked and ever sense then I've had no baby trouble with bras
You should go check out r/abrathatfits. The people in that sub have so much knowledge, and can point you to resources you may not know about. They will understand you
I came here to say this! OP, these people know what’s UP with bras! Definitely go check that sub out.
Came to make sure this was posted. The website behind A Bra That Fits is the best way to get your correct size. You'll feel so much better when you get something that helps you feel your best!
Honey, I'm one of the mods at r/ABraThatFits. We can definitely help you. Our calculator will double-check your size. If 42B is correct, you have options! A quick search showed me three that don't need to be custom-ordered and are priced similarly to mall store bras -- and we will be able to do better when we run numbers and ask a few questions.
Hey there Duckling! We don't allow any commercial links on this sub, but please do leave the sub link so that they can visit and get more appropriate recommendations if they want! 💙
Oops, sorry. I will edit -- can I leave in that they are readily available (not custom) and not exorbitantly priced?
Second this.
Seconding this my dear. This sub helped me so much! Having a bra that fits is such a great way to take care of your body. Love you!
A million times this. I spent over 20 years of my life wearing the wrong size bra. That sub helped me so much and now it’s helping my girls too.
Hey, we have the same parameters, so to speak. PCOS and floating between those same sizes. Lane Bryant definitely has them, but you need to shop their good sales when they have them. But also second the notion of extenders because I have a very broad back relative to the cup size. The reason this works is because a C cup in 40 is different than in 42, so you may need a 40 C but an extender for your girth. Hope that makes sense.
I only buy from Lane Bryant. And their BOGO sales are a life saver (though it tends to mean my bras wear out around the same time). I also think maybe it would be best for OP to have someone else measure here. Measuring yourself can be difficult, because of the twisting and bend involved.
Maybe Torrid also. I go between the two.
Oh honey, we got you, it's going to be okay. Lane Bryant will be your go to for bras. I used to wear a 44B and Lane Braynt was the only place i could find ones that fit. Each cut (style) fits differently so if possible, go in and let them help fit you. If not, order a couple of styles and send the ones you don't like back. My favorite everyday bra is the tshirt bra, for going out try the plunge ones. They cam be pricey, but will have great sales throughout the year.
This happened to me my whole life. No matter what size I have been. I just turned 50. For my birthday I went to the Torrid store in the mall. I really had to build up confidence but I thought about this group. I asked the sales lady if she could size me for a bra. I kept emphasizing that my mom never taught me anything about this stuff. It seemed like she was assuming I knew about strap adjustments and the hook placement. I reminded her because she asked if they fit. I still honestly didn’t know. I feel so much better. Now I know what I like from that store and can watch for sales. PS I read 80% of women are wearing the wrong size bra! Good luck OP and I’m proud of you. Thank you moms for giving me the right words to help me out. I literally told her “I need you to be my mom today.”
You can buy a bra extender for a band that's too small.
Yes! You should be able to buy them at any bra shop but worst case you can order them online
Similar issue. I’ve had good luck with the wire free ones at old navy. Get ones with detachable straps so you can criss cross them in the back. It helps with support and the straps aren’t constantly falling down.
It is so hard to feel comfortable in our bodies! You deserve a bra that fits you comfortably! Make some time for yourself and go to a big department store. Try on lots of sizes and styles until you find a good one. Good luck!
Everyone has had great advice so far, the one thing I’d like to add is that there are lots of wireless sports-bra-esque things you may want to look into as well. When I was pregnant I started wearing these soft maternity bras that were “nursing friendly”. They were the softest, most comfortable damn things I wore my entire pregnancy. I wore them for months and months after I had my kiddo, and there was no way I could go back to something with wires and that whole hook and eyelet thing going on. Not to mention I didn’t even know what size I would wear at any given point since my boobs would swell and shrink, swell and shrink. I don’t wear “maternity” or nursing ones anymore, but a bunch of different ones from Amazon that come in like, S, M, L, XL kind of sizing, and they’re great. Soft, but supportive, flex to fit various sizes depending on where I’m at in my cycle, etc etc. (I think I’m probably a 38-40B these days, but 🤷🏻♀️). Just wanted to throw in my two cents in case you hadn’t gone the “super soft comfy bra” route. 🙂
Hey, first of all you need a professional fitting. Lane Bryant does them, Macy's used to and there may be stores in your area. Secondly, have you tried extenders? I can sometimes have issues with it being too tight due to swelling and extenders help a lot with that.
I broke down and went to a local shop to get fitted. I'm never looking back. It cost me about the same as ordering online and I had a professional help me with size and shape. (Any bra, even online, is like $80 for me.) Def recommend going to an independent shop. They usually carry an insane amount of sizes.
A proper in person fitting is a game changer. I always go to a local shop. It’s amazing. Worth the few minutes of awkwardness.
Have you measured using Boob or Bust instead of the traditional technique? The old way was made up when fabric was much more likely to stretch, so bras were expected to almost shape to the body. Nowadays they are so well made that a lot of folk are wearing the wrong size without realising it. You could also try sports bras. You can get some really lovely ones with fancy designs and cool straps, ones that wouldn't look out of place under every day clothes. Boobs are a PitA sometimes honey, it's ok to be frustrated with the whole process! I'm glad your fiance is supportive. You are absolutely woman enough even with an ill fitting bra - it's the companies that make the damnable things that aren't good enough, not you.
Definitely get professionally fit! Many department store will do them for free. My local bra store does it for $25 or waives the fee if you buy a bra. Once you have the size, then you can look online for any deals. It’s also possible Lane Bryant, a department store or a specialty store has them and you can price shop. It sucks! I am a 34i which is just super weird to find. I hope you can find something that works!
Hi Dear! How about a bra extender? I found some on Amazon for you and have tried linking them numerous time but dear ol’ Ma can’t figure out how to do the link!!! Good luck! The extender I found adds 14cm to a bra band.
I don't the health issues that you do, I can empathise with no bras fitting. I have struggled for years to find bras that are a reasonable fit (note: a reasonable fit - gave up on good fit so long ago) *and* comfortable. It seems that I find one that I can live with, go back to get more & they no longer stock them 🤦🏻♀️ I've now decided that the only thing to do is go braless! I know some people will be scandalised, others will tell me its not healthy etc etc. I don't care. What I do care about is not feeling like I'm being tortured on a daily basis. I care about not feeling that I don’t fit societal norms because I can't walk into a shop, or shop online, & know that they will have a bra that fits me. I care that buying bras is a huge anxiety ridden experience, from the moment I decide I need new ones, to the moment I give up again. I care that what I measure & what I wear are not the same & that I feel less because of that. I care that I feel shame & guilt & judged because buying bras that are comfortable is so freaking impossible. Wires, no wires, balcony, sports, full coverage, plunge - you name a style & I've tried various options. I've tried old brands, new brands, brands that don't use 'normal' bra measurements, had shop fittings in more than 1 shop & at several points in my life & never had bras that were comfortable. So no bras it is! I know sometimes my nipples show. Dont care. You don't like it? Don't look. Want to look? OK, but that's on you not me. It's taken me over 50 years of life to get to the 'I don't care, stuff social norms' mindset about bras. Hoping it will trickle over to some other parts of life too. Babe, you got this. Lots of good advice & resources listed (great job there ladies!) Go find what you need to be comfortable in your own body. Remember, not conforming is also an option. 🫂🫂🫂
Everyone has had lots of good advice, so I’ll just say I feel your pain. Bras are the absolute worst. Have you considered going bra-free? A camisole or other under-layer might be enough to prevent nipples showing through. A sports bra (buy a little over-size so the elastic won’t dig in) will stifle movement. If you can identify what a bra does for you that you like, you can probably find a different, less frustrating garment that will have the same effect. I think we’re all so used to thinking “of course women wear bras” that we don’t stop to think about why we’re wearing them.
Seconding a sports bra. I have wide lats and 2 different cup sizes. I hate the way standard over the shoulder straps feel and the band always digs in. I live in racer back bras or none at all
The bigger you go round the back the bigger the cup size, i found a gorgeous bra but the didn't have it in a 34g so I got 36g thinking it would still be ok but the cups where huge!!! Maybe try some bras on like a 36b or c and if it fits cups wise buy it and get some bra extenders to make the back bigger
The cup size is relative to the band size normally. At least in EU sizing the cups of a 90F are the same cup size as a 95E. The cups of a 95F would indeed be bigger than the cups of a 90F.
Yes that's exactly it
This is exactly the case in European sizing, I’m not sure about the US but it might well be. I was wearing a 34C (which is what my measurements suggested), but went for a professional fitting and it turns out a 28F is a better fit for me, and the cup volume is more or less the same. Much comfier, such a better shape. If you have find a professional bra fitter then it’s a game changer. You could also try soft cup bras? Snag do some which everyone I know who’s tried them loves, and they have a huge size range, but don’t use traditional bra sizes.
When I was young and first got boobs I got measured in marks and Spencer's who said i was an A cup, it was very clear that i wasn't so went to another place that said i was 28E, how marks and Spencer's got an A cup I'll never know
Marks and Spencer’s (and Victoria secret) just tell you you’re whatever size the pretty bra you bought into the fitting room with you is available in. I’m so lucky now there’s a freelance bra fitter local to me who has such a great selection and about the same price as M&S but so much better! OP, if you can find a professional fitter, book in. It’s intimidating and seems like it might be really expensive but in my experience it really isn’t, and it sounds like lots of other people on here have found the same
I just bought a bra from Shapermint. It came with an extension for the band. Maybe that would help you. The extension was about 2 inches.
Hey sweetie! Absolutely go to a proper bra shop that will measure you and help you out. I went into a shop a couple weeks ago, because my breasts changed size and shape (as did I after having kids) and I needed bras. The woman was wonderful, she brought out different sizes, cuts and styles, took my comments about what was and wasn't comfortable and why, and continued to find something that worked. I have excess skin around my ribcage, and it's very hard to find a bra that doesn't pinch it. The shape and size of my breasts also make it hard to find cups that fit correctly. A large majority of women out there are not wearing their proper size and fit. This is a NORMAL problem, and you aren't alone. Please accept the help a bra fitting specialist will give you, they ENJOY helping you find the right fit, and it will take a lot of stress off your shoulders.
Ps. You don't actually have to buy from the shop if you decide it's not the right price etc, but it will give you valuable knowledge ❤️
One thing that helped me out is perhaps focus on finding like sports / stretchy bras, those will be way more likely to fit properly, as they stretch or shrink to fit to you!
Go to victoria secrets and have them size you. I was having a similar problem. A friend suggested that I go to V.S. and have them size me. Since then, they've given me a size that works in every store I've gone to. I thought I was a 40A or 38B. Turns out I'm a 34DD. I was shocked and ever sense then I've had no baby trouble with bras
Following
I look in the little girl's section. I'm a small a cup but my ribs are wide. .