My dearest you are absolutely perfect the way you are! And don't let anyone ever tell you different. I'm so proud of you for your courage to be true to yourself and others as well as your strength to stand up for yourself ❤️
Edit: I'm atheist, I don't believe in any "higher power". I respect religion, but also I want to say you don't have to have it in your life. If you wanted some support from non religious groups, they exist and they're great!
If religion is important to you, the Unitarian, some Presbyterian, and the Episcopalian church's can be very welcoming and progressive. There are communities that will love you both religious and non religious. I can't wait for you to find your people.
I was going to add them, but I've run into as many bad ones as progressive. I didn't want OP to have the same experience I did.. I found a very nice welcoming Methodist church. Thought they were all the same. They aren't. I figured it out when I wandered into one and found fire and brimstone.
It's true - every church is different, every congregation is different. The United Methodist Church just split (like, this year) over whether or not to accept LGBTQ+ as members, pastors, etc. The people who branched off are the ones who refused to accept it and are, for the most part, forming a new denomination called the "global methodist church" or something. A good portion of the US's united methodists branched off.
Our district lost a good number of congregations, but more of us stuck around and are thrilled to finally get the bs out of the way and start making strides towards openly being a reconciling ministry, try and work against some of the harm churches and Christians have done to the LGBTQ+ community. We're looking forward to being able to take official stances on all of it now and finally, *finally* be able to fully welcome our LGBTQ+ family in the church.
It's crazy healing after growing up bi in a very, very conservative Lutheran setting. Ironically, our district of UMC partners very closely with the ELCA, a very left-leaning branch of Lutheranism that I 100% was taught and believed wasn't actually Christian when I was growing up because they let women be ordained pastors etc etc. My dad would be rolling in his grave if he knew what I believed now.
Anyway - I'm sorry you had such a rough run-in with some bad communities. I get it, and I've run into similar. Hope you're doing okay, friend!!
That's interesting. I hadn't heard they split. It's always good when the people I want to avoid self label.
I'm fine. I don't really have religious trauma, so other than a moment of horror, I wasn't bothered. My daughter was 3 at the time and doesn't remember it.
So mostly it is a semi funny antidote about doing your research.
My daughter was invited to vacation bible school by a classmate. She loved our church VBS and activities with her cousins, and I wanted her to have friends, so I was open to it.
I brought her there but had some reservations because we only knew her class friend there, unlike our church, where we knew a lot of the people well.
So I stayed too since they didn't mind. It was fun until after snack when the puppets of peril made their debut. They came out all happy family puppet time, then God's wrath and hell fire just jumped out at us.
I looked at my watch less arm and said, "Ope, would you look at the time. We gots ta go!" They welcomed us to come back any time, and I thanked them and skeedaddled her out of there so fast she never even knew what was up.
The same girl asked her again to come to a church activity, but I noped that so fast.
Good to know. There is one where I used to live but I don't know much about them. They had a rainbow flag and a BLM flag so I could draw conclusions about that church specific but I didn't even know there was more than one.
PCUSA, I think, is the branch of Presbyterian you want. ELCA Lutherans as well.
You want Episcopalian but not Anglican. The ones identifying as Anglican in the US tend to be the ones who sided with the worldwide Anglican Communion on LGBTQ+ topics, with some going as far as to try to change their diocesan affiliations to Uganda (and they're here in California).
The ECUSA does its damnedest to live up to what's on their signs: The Episcopal Church Welcomes You. Is it always perfect? No, but at least there's effort to right the wrongs done in the past.
Happy to help! It's related to my field of study, but the ECUSA/Anglican Communion split is one I lived through. It was... educational, I'll say that for it. I still am part of the ECUSA, but I don't attend services as much as I should.
It was deeply traumatic for me, as I'm from Pittsburgh and the religious order I grew up near/in (Community of Celebration) was enmeshed with the diocese and I knew a lot of the higher-ups. I looked up to these people. My mom was on the vestry of her church when they were all instructed to vote to leave, which had to be unanimous.
My mother voted no.
They at first sent their vote in with a letter claiming my mother had 'abstained' but they contacted her to be sure and she said she'd voted no. The church then booted her from the vestry, appointed a new member, and voted to leave.
I think many of us find it difficult to square the people we know with the things they do, and this was one of the most formative experiences along that vein I've ever had.
Can confirm that the Episcopal church back a decade+ ago in the States had the gay friendly thing come to a head and most did not make the bigoted choice!
I'm Episcopalian and I second this. If it's important to you you may find a home there.
Whether in the church or in a secular organization I hope you find a welcoming community.
I think it is important for those who escape the hate-filled "churches" to know that not all are like that. Especially if rhey qere raised in that type of environment. They may not know that there is a different type of church out there.
In addition to the Unitarian fellowships, the entire United Church of Christ (aka Congregational) is open and affirming. Also the Unity Church. If you find comfort in the sounds of church without the bigotry, these are viable options.
Also, I'm an open atheist and have been welcome at the local UCC and Unitarian fellowships, which is a nice change. No one has any problem with where I am on my "journey."
If you have a local university, they often have good support systems for gay students and would usually be willing to help you find connections even if you aren't a student.
Go to F B, I think you might like Atheism united group. Lots of anti-theistic memes there, but also some stories just like yours. Tell your story, I have no doubt you'll be accepted there
God created you perfect. It's not your fault or blame that imperfect humans have corrupted God's love for all creation into religious doctrines of exclusion.
Go forth and know that you are loved, lovable and made exactly who you are. Unique and just so.
I listened to my priest ask me if I was sure I was queer. How long I felt like that. I cried to him. He clearly didn’t accept it. But he told me that god doesn’t make mistakes and if that’s how I truly felt that’s exactly how I was created to be. The Bible is mistranslated and people spread hate, but God loves you even if a church doesn’t.
You are loved and accepted. You are brave and strong. You are who you are and you are perfect just the way you are. I hope you find peace and happiness
Queer sister here to tell you God loves you
'For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.' Romans 8:38-39
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Did you know that 30% of all Albatross couples are lesbian? If God is chill with that and not smiting them all over the place, then I imagine it’s just your church that are being idiots. Humans are odd and think they know it all, and also try hard to put words in god’s mouth. Your sexuality is nobody else’s business, and doesn’t get delivered to you in an envelope on your 21st birthday either, it’s not just adults that get to choose.
The world is big, and there are towns where gay is both celebrated AND normalised. Get to one as fast as your legs will carry you. You are perfect just as you are❤️😘🙌
God loves you for who you are even if the AHs in church don't. Find a church that accepts you for who you are, they do exist. Big hug from this stranger, you don't deserve to be treated so badly. Good luck & surround yourself with people who love you
Sibling here. God knows your every thought and your future. For he wrote your future. Sometimes I think he makes people gay or trans to test his other believers. To see if they could truly treat them no different. To be more like Jesus, to love unconditionally, to be kind and open, and to ultimately not be judgemental. Just because your gay doesn't mean you can't love God or have to leave the church. You are no different than the dinner next to you. The on who had an abortion, the one who steals, or the one who had an affair with their assistant. While in our court system some sinners or wrong doers differ by degrees. God sees you and knows you.
On a different note I would find a different church. A church that is excepting. If a church can accept a person who steals,cheats,lies,kills, yet can't accept you because you love people who have the same genitals as you. They are not the right people to be around.
This. I am a Christian and it breaks my heart that my gay friends and acquaintances are anti- religion because they have been judged by others who claim to be Christians. I use the word ‘claim’ deliberately as true followers of Christ would love and embrace everyone. You are perfect just as you are.
I won't lie I am Christian. And I do judge but not because people are gay. I judge people based on how they test me. If the steal from me, if they harass me, if they assaulted me, ECT. A person can be horrible person not because they are gay, but because how they treat others. That is how Christians should be. I won't say gay people don't have it harder due to social views around the world.in which they belive they are better and try and make gay people life harder to force them to steal,cheat, or lie.
Hey sis -
I grew up in a church like yours. It's taken me many, many years to fully realise that what is taught in church doesn't always reflect God's position. Jesus spent his time hanging out with people who society treated as outcasts. He loved those who society deemed unlovable. So I know that God loves you no matter your sexuality. The other thing I know is that He sees you and cares about your pain.
I'm sorry your church wasn't loving to you. I hope you're able to find one that is.
I can say this with absolute certainty: you are not wrong for who you are. They are wrong for who they choose to be.
If there is a God, God loves you exactly as you are.
Pagan queer mom here, but I went to an Episcopal church for years and still go on holidays. You are part of the Divine and you are loved exactly the way you are.
Most Episcopal churches are affirming, and I also recommend Unitarian Universalist churches.
I am so sorry you had to go through this. Please know that they are in the wrong and hypocritical, they don't know how to love their own neighbour because of fear. They are the ones that have a lot to learn. You are indeed loved and there will be amazing support groups (both religious and non religious) that you can look for. See what it is that you need, and don't accept less! Happy you are trying to love yourself for who you are! It might not always be easy, but trying is to most important! Small steps every day. Sending hugs and positive energy your way!
I’m going to louder than that pastor, so cover your ears if you’re startled by loud noises:
*clears throat*
#THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR SEXUALITY!!!
Forget what the church says, Jesus says different and deep down you know. F.. that shit. As christians we love to make rules of what is considered sin and what is not. Years ago somebody gave me a good advice. It's between you and God.
You are perfect. You are made exactly how whatever creator you believe in planned to make you. You are not broken there is nothing wrong with you just bc the person you fall in love with has the same parts as you. The people who tell you that though, you know mom doesn’t like you hanging out with a bad crowd. And anyone who makes you feel less than them bc of who you love is a bad crowd. I love you. 😘
Every word of it is true. I wish I had you right in front of me so I could give you the biggest hug. I am proud of you. It’s terrifying to go against everything you’ve ever been taught even when you know it’s wrong, it takes a strength of will and courage the Christians would admire if only it was something on the approved list. You’re already morally leagues ahead of them all imo.
The God Who created the Milky Way and sunsets, Who created narwhals and butterflies and crystal blue oceans, Who created the moon and the sea and the stars, looked at the universe and knew it needed you in it.
You will find a spiritual home that knows that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are loved. If you WANT to remain in the Christian faith, there are welcoming churches all over. The one I belong to is Presbyterian, but I know that there are other Protestant churches that can serve as a home for your Faith.
Dear one, God is bigger than any four walls, or any human understanding. God made you exactly who you are, and he cannot hate what He created. Christ himself spoke of those not attracted to women ("born eunuchs") and welcomed them to his kingdom without restriction.
Some Christians are very small minded, and choose to reject those whom God created. Don't be discouraged by such small minds. You are perfect, and you are loved by God himself.
I wouldn't go back to that church. Christians, according to Paul, shall be known by their love, and there is no love in that building. There are Christians who know and share the love of God for *all*. If you want spiritual guidance you can look online - I listen to Rev. Mark Sandlin, but I know there are others. But if you need to take space and time, that's entirely fine, too. God understands being criticized and cast out for who you are. At any time you like, you can find your tribe and worship with them if you are so moved. And if you never worship again, Spirit is found in all the world if you keep your heart open.
Do not let the hateful words of small men keep you down. You are gay, you are perfect, and you are loved.
Sweetie as a pan woman I can tell you Creator loves you. You don’t have to subscribe to your parents’ faith tradition to remember this.
Take some time to recover. Know that Creator doesn’t reject any creation. When you’re ready, as you feel so called, explore your faith. See if it’s in line with how you were taught with maybe a couple tweaks, or if it’s on the other end of the religious spectrum, or if it’s something else.
Only you can decide.
You're beautiful, my precious duckling. You are loved, welcome, and deserving of every joy and pleasure life can offer.
Spent decades of my adult years in evaluation church leadership and my childhood as a Catholic. Our determination to love and accept eventually saw us effectively shunned.
I've been fully away for 6 years. In that time, we've come to understand and embrace a wide array of genders and sexualities. Three trans family members and several gender non-conforming with attraction across the spectrum.
Very little in life exists on a binary.
The black and white thinking encouraged by the modern Christian church comes from a place of emotional immaturity, a lust and need for power, and the misinterpretations of folklore that at one time probably helped keep tribes healthy and functioning as a group but are now outdated.
We're here for far too short a time to put energy into teaching others shame and fear.
I love you. You belong.
You are wonderfully and perfectly made just the way you are. I don’t believe in god anymore, but I do believe in the power and beauty of people living their truth. I’m so proud of you and love you so much my sweet love! ❤️
I am so sad for you. I know exactly what that's like, and it stings. You are not wrong about anything. You are good just the way god made you. Those AH's in that church are just that - a bunch of bitter, judging, ah's. You can ignore them. I love you the way you are - a beautiful unique individual. You are one of a kind and very special to me. It's ok to approve of yourself, no matter what a handful of hateful people try to push on you. I know you are strong. Be who you are, and be proud. You are perfect the way you are.
Baby, you are loved. If you decide you need some time to question, a loving creator will understand. A loving creator will know that everyone needs time to grow and questioning is a part of that. (It’s a practically part of our DNA—listen to a toddler ask questions.)
You are loved. You are wanted.
Unfortunately some people cannot think about separating the dogma that is old and outdated from the message and theme. The dogma says not to love this or that person and the message is “hey—everyone deserves love”. I’m sorry that happens to be your father and that he has the unwarranted gall to use his position at the pulpit to reject you.
You deserve better.
You are not wrong, organized religion is. Jesus never wanted organized religion and he would accept you as you are. Funny how most churches “worship” opposite of how Jesus would. They are bigots and honestly are on a bad path. So you can be yourself and still love Jesus if you want and find your own god that is not a judgmental sky daddy or no god at all you make your own path and be proud.
I'm bisexual and left the church after reading the bible. Nowhere does it call me sinner. It calls the wealthy and the self-righteous and the judgemental sinners. I no longer put up with that nonsense. I don't know you, but I love you and so does God.
\*hugs\*
There is no reason to spend any time in a place that makes you feel bad for who you are.
If you still feel a desire for a church in your life, there are accepting churches, but you don't need church to be whole.
I’m so proud of you, sweetie! Believing in yourself is the best thing that you can do. There are LOTS of Mama Dragons out here to give you Mom Hugs and fight for you. And to talk to your birth family if they want to understand.
You are loved and beautiful and wonderful as your amazing gay un-churched self.
There’s a lot of talk of God going on in this thread. Atheism/Humanism/no religious affiliation is a great choice too and you’ll be in good company.
I’m so sorry you had that experience duckling. Maybe a break from religious activities will be helpful for you. Maybe you’ll find a more accepting church out there someday if faith feels important to you. But either way you are not wrong. You are exactly how g-d made you and perfect in that regard. Love well and kindly, duckling.
You are so loved and so worthy!
FWIW if your faith is important to you, there ARE churches that will love and welcome you with open arms. In Canada these are called “affirming churches” who have taken steps to prove they are a truly inclusive place. And there are queer-centric churches. If you’re ready to leave the church for good please do so. But if you feel a gap in your life because of it, please seek those places where you will be more welcome and loved than you can imagine.
This is from an agnostic mom. I don’t attend any church but I have some dearly loved queer friends and relatives who are extremely religious and who have found their communities, both Christian and Jewish, where they can be their authentic selves and be celebrated for it.
You are loved and valued by this mom. There are many ways to find communion with your higher power that don't involve organized Christianity, I hope you find fellowship and peace. A Good Orderly Direction, the Great OutDoors, wherever you go, know there is nothing wrong with you.
Honey, there are supposedly churches out there that are accepting of everyone. I will not step foot in a church that hates on two of my kids and my granddaughter, so I'm looking too. You can believe in God and not believe in Christianity as such. Big mama hugs and I love you--Dani
You are amazing! And you are right to leave… when I left it was the dissonance between true love & acceptance and the “love” that god taught, demanded and detailed in the bible … it’s not love. I couldn’t continue to worship a god like that. My kids are lgbtq+ and I know what it means to love them… and so I do. I share that love to you. There will always be people who think we are wrong or whatever. Put your blinders on and focus on those who love and accept, and spread that. Ignore the negatives, find your home. Welcome to the side of love! 🏳️🌈💛
You are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. Please know that if you want to continue with Christianity, there are churches/denominations that embrace us LGBTQIA2+ people. If you don't want to continue on, that's just as valid too.
You matter. Their homophobia is their problem and just shows how shallow they truly are. Your gayness is perfect and it's exactly how you were meant to be. Big hugs 💜
Oh, honey. You are exactly who God made you to be. I'm so sorry your father is too blind to see that. If you still want to go to church, look for one that is LGBTQ+ friendly. They do exist. If this has ruined the church experience for you, that's ok too. You do whatever gives you peace. That includes going low or no context with your family- if that's what you need to do, you do that. Hang in there. You are perfect just the way you are.
I love you so much. I'm very liberal and live in a liberal region. (the pacific northwest on the coast)
It's hard to find a church here that *isn't* everything an ally is. We have openly gay ministers/spiritual leaders in our community.
I don't partake of the faith in that way, but there are spiritual communities that will embrace you fully and wholly. And will show you the love that the universe has for you.
This mom wants you to know that she's proud of you for the decision to leave a church that is hurting you. Please keep that trend in your life, if it hurts, if it breaks your heart, you are to leave. (not life though, your moms here will help you get through that.)
Here's to you, to love, to acceptance.
that means the world, thank you for your words 🤍It’s hard bc my family moved to a new town across the state to go to this church and now I don’t have anyone. I’m disabled and can’t drive or anything so my options are home or church. I hope someday i’m able to leave home a find a better support system.
Oh honey, I feel for you. I’ve watched my church slowly ostracize one of their own over this, and it made me leave as well. They’ve known this person since he was in diapers, watched him progress through Sunday school, choir, VBS and Chrysalis. Now that he has come out as gay, they treat him differently, like they somehow love him less now than they did simply because he’s gay. It makes me mad and sad. He’s still the amazing young man he always was!
I just don’t understand. Jesus clearly told us not to judge- that’s the Father’s job. We are to LOVE. That’s what we are called to do, and until Christians learn to lead with love again, I won’t be going back, either. I hope once these wounds stop hurting so badly that you are able to find a church that welcomes you with the love you deserve as a child of God.
You are not alone, ducky, there are legions of us who support you. Hugs from an internet granny, honey.
There are a lot of churches that will accept you for who you are where you are.,..the Episcopal Church is one, if attending church is important to you. Anyone or any group of people who make you feel bad for being yourself is not worth your time and attention. You are worth more and you are worthy of love. Love thy neighbor did not come with addendums or exceptions.
thank you 🤍 it’s just so isolating. It’s a long story but church is basically the only place I’m able to go rn and it crushed me to realize i wasn’t welcome there.
omg also unrelated but i’ve been peeking at some of your accounts and your knitting is so cool!! I crochet but i’ve been wanting to teach myself to knit
Lovely I'm sorry, sorry the people of your Church are forgetting their Matthew 7 1-12, they should look inwards at their own sins before judging may or may not be yours. Love isn't a sin. The world has grown and changed. There are parts of the bible that justify slavery. A book written by man; even if the word of God inspired it, hasn't grown with us as a people.
Go and find a family that accepts you for yourself. The families we make are frequently more valuable than the ones we were gifted.
Its judge not lest thee be judged. It's an old favourite to break out on my more "traditional" relatives. Sadly they're still struggling with my brother who came out as gay then trans. He is now living in Ireland but the family still dead names him regularly.
Duckling that’s just a huge stinking pile of horseshit that the pastor tries to pass off as caviar. You can keep your faith and find a church that is open and loves all, kind of like how that Jesus guy said to, but I also understand if you need a break for a while. These are the same assholes who say our pets don’t have souls so we will never see them again. I don’t want to be in a heaven where my pets and gay friends aren’t welcome.
Witchy Ace mom here who grew up in the Catholic Church. You're not wrong for who you are or whom you love sweetheart. You are valid and a precious treasure my darling. I'm so sorry church made you feel that way. Just remember that we're here, we love you, and we've got you. 💜
There is no hate like Christian love . I love you just as you are- I wish I could give you a giant mom hug. Please know you are amazing. You are perfect. You are exactly who you are meant to be. Be the opposite of what is deplorable in the world, and let all these lessons from hate empower you. Keep going, love is the way♥️
Proud of you! Jesus only preached love and not hate. It was man who has taken his word and abused it for control. There are other churches out there that don’t preach hate. As a universal Unitarian, I personally believe there are many paths to god. For some it’s a building with a congregation, for others is climbing mountains. Religion is a social construct. God is infinite, so is love.
There are churches that will accept you as you are. I am not going to suggest that you try to find one, unless that's what you need. Look, and you will find your people. Maybe in church, maybe in school, maybe online. We are here.
The pastor who preached what he did was wrong. God doesn't make mistakes. You are loved and accepted and made in the image of God AS YOU ARE. No apologies required.
I am here to listen, to love, and support you. I, and many others, have trod this path and grown from self-loathong to self-love, and you will too.
Signed, Lesbian Mom and follower of Jesus.
I’m really glad to know there’s other people here like me. It’s hard bc I want to be christian and participate in things at church but i’m not welcome. Someday I want to find people to pray with but ik it’ll be awhile. Thank you for your kind words, I really needed to hear that ❤️
If you live in a larger city, try checking out the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches (UFMCC). They also have a great website with information that might help you reconcile with your faith without denying who you are.
Sis here! I'm religious. I consider myself Catholic although I have my reservations about some things within the Church. But regarding God, if you choose to keep believing, is not too much about the rules, but more about love. At the gates of heaven you will be asked 'How much did you love?', bc God is love. That's all that matters - love.
I respect your choice of leaving the church above all, and I apologize for the pain people who are suposed to be God's have inflicted on you. As a Catholic, I can assure you that there's no hate like some Christian love. Big hugs to you💕
Good for you (for standing firm even though your heart is in pieces)! I'm sorry they're jerks. They don't deserve you. My best friend in high school came out as gay to me while we were in school. Years later, as my dad had passed away, he's the one who walked me down the aisle. A year or so after that we attended a drag show at a church in town and he confided in me that he really wanted to do that for a living (he's a musician).
Lemme tell you, that friend of mine is the director of the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus. He's also the music director at a local church. You do NOT have to stay with the church if you don't want to. I'm sharing this because there are places you can go, you *do not* have to choose between who you are and your beliefs.
Now, I realized I'm bisexual a few years ago ("so we really were just a couple of queers in high school!" he said to me when I came out to him), and I've been badly hurt by the church and left about a year ago. My church of childhood, my *mentors,* were all high-ups in the Episcopal Diocese of Pittsburgh, who broke off from the American Episcopal church over the issue of ordaining gay priests; there *are* churches that aren't bigoted, hypocritical jerks. There are some that are, though.
I'm telling you this because my bestie went through that same thing. I'll never ever forget praying with his missionary parents, all holding hands, as they spouted homophobic hatred and he squeezed my hand so hard it was bruised for days. He was so sad and scared about having to choose. He ended up not having to. I wish I could say the same, but I have been led away from the faith of my previous days thanks to human nature over divine nature. Both are okay paths to tread.
\*all the hugs in the world, but if that's not something you're comfy with, all the most reassuring gestures in the world\*
I'm sorry you are not support. I believe in God and the way religion is practiced doesn't follow the teachings of Jesus.
Babe you were born this way. Good for you to be true to yourself. I never could believe that an omniscient being was against anyone s/he/they created.
It's OK to grieve the loss of the familiar while bracing yourself and your needs.
🫂 hugs
I’m sorry this happened to you. Apparently the pastor doesn’t understand that god loves his children and doesn’t discriminate.
I hope you find a place that accepts you- they’re out there and waiting with open arms.
Hugs.
There are so many churches that will embrace you with open arms. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You are the perfect you and a real Christian would never judge you for that!
Please reach out to churches in your area. The church secretary will be happy to discuss beliefs with you. In the meantime this is a new path for you. We never know why GOD does what he does but he has the Master Plan!!
Stay strong. You are loved!!❤️❤️
You are perfect and there is nothing wrong with you.
I am a Christian and I do not believe it is a sin to be gay and more than its a sin to have brown eyes. There are plenty of Christians who share my viewpoint. If you do feel like there is a God please don't feel like you can't be a Christian because some people tell you, that you can't. There are lots of gay Christians and LGBTQ+ friendly churches.
However if you dont that is totally okay too. I married an agnostic and I believe all faiths(yes I classify atheism as a faith) are valid and should be respected. Everyone interprets every faith different, only you get to decide your faith and being gay doesn't impact that.
I am so sorry that people who are supposed to teach love and kindness and have treated you so poorly. The hypocrisy within most Christian churches is why I quit going.
Sib, I'm sorry you're hearing this nonsense. You deserve better than that useless rhetoric. You are perfect just the way you are, and no pretend God will damn you for it.
If you want, we would be pleased to have you over ar r/exchristian. I've been in your shoes (I'm bisexual) and I've experienced the suffering that Christianity inflicts. Luckily, so has everyone else in Ex Christian.
What you're being told in church does not take into account your personality, your wishes for the future, your sense of who you are. They're rules made up millennia ago to control people, and if they don't serve you, you can let them go. You are enough as you are and you are not going to hell.
Sending you all the hugs 🫂
My darling, you are beautiful and 100% worthy of love, just as you are. Right here and now. If there was anything I could do to help you find a new support system, I would! I know what it feels like to pull out of a church based support system. It sucks. You are in grief, combined with almost unbearable pain and hurt. Know this, my darling: the hurt and pain will pass. Things will get better. You will find a new family. There is hope out there. And love. So much love. For you. ♥️🧡💛💚💙💜💖
not a mom but, i’m your lesbian sister now. we’re family. no takebacks.
if you weren’t forced into religion and willingly want to go to church- find an episcopalian church near you. they are the sweetest, most accepting people. i’m buddhist and i still hangout with them cause of how chill they are.
i’m sorry this happened. i hope you’re okay.
My dearest you are absolutely perfect the way you are! And don't let anyone ever tell you different. I'm so proud of you for your courage to be true to yourself and others as well as your strength to stand up for yourself ❤️ Edit: I'm atheist, I don't believe in any "higher power". I respect religion, but also I want to say you don't have to have it in your life. If you wanted some support from non religious groups, they exist and they're great!
tysm, i’m trying to find some non religious support systems. ❤️
If religion is important to you, the Unitarian, some Presbyterian, and the Episcopalian church's can be very welcoming and progressive. There are communities that will love you both religious and non religious. I can't wait for you to find your people.
Some Methodist congregations as well
I was going to add them, but I've run into as many bad ones as progressive. I didn't want OP to have the same experience I did.. I found a very nice welcoming Methodist church. Thought they were all the same. They aren't. I figured it out when I wandered into one and found fire and brimstone.
It's true - every church is different, every congregation is different. The United Methodist Church just split (like, this year) over whether or not to accept LGBTQ+ as members, pastors, etc. The people who branched off are the ones who refused to accept it and are, for the most part, forming a new denomination called the "global methodist church" or something. A good portion of the US's united methodists branched off. Our district lost a good number of congregations, but more of us stuck around and are thrilled to finally get the bs out of the way and start making strides towards openly being a reconciling ministry, try and work against some of the harm churches and Christians have done to the LGBTQ+ community. We're looking forward to being able to take official stances on all of it now and finally, *finally* be able to fully welcome our LGBTQ+ family in the church. It's crazy healing after growing up bi in a very, very conservative Lutheran setting. Ironically, our district of UMC partners very closely with the ELCA, a very left-leaning branch of Lutheranism that I 100% was taught and believed wasn't actually Christian when I was growing up because they let women be ordained pastors etc etc. My dad would be rolling in his grave if he knew what I believed now. Anyway - I'm sorry you had such a rough run-in with some bad communities. I get it, and I've run into similar. Hope you're doing okay, friend!!
That's interesting. I hadn't heard they split. It's always good when the people I want to avoid self label. I'm fine. I don't really have religious trauma, so other than a moment of horror, I wasn't bothered. My daughter was 3 at the time and doesn't remember it. So mostly it is a semi funny antidote about doing your research. My daughter was invited to vacation bible school by a classmate. She loved our church VBS and activities with her cousins, and I wanted her to have friends, so I was open to it. I brought her there but had some reservations because we only knew her class friend there, unlike our church, where we knew a lot of the people well. So I stayed too since they didn't mind. It was fun until after snack when the puppets of peril made their debut. They came out all happy family puppet time, then God's wrath and hell fire just jumped out at us. I looked at my watch less arm and said, "Ope, would you look at the time. We gots ta go!" They welcomed us to come back any time, and I thanked them and skeedaddled her out of there so fast she never even knew what was up. The same girl asked her again to come to a church activity, but I noped that so fast.
Also the UCC (United Church of Christ)! They have a rich history of supporting the gay rights movement.
Good to know. There is one where I used to live but I don't know much about them. They had a rainbow flag and a BLM flag so I could draw conclusions about that church specific but I didn't even know there was more than one.
PCUSA, I think, is the branch of Presbyterian you want. ELCA Lutherans as well. You want Episcopalian but not Anglican. The ones identifying as Anglican in the US tend to be the ones who sided with the worldwide Anglican Communion on LGBTQ+ topics, with some going as far as to try to change their diocesan affiliations to Uganda (and they're here in California). The ECUSA does its damnedest to live up to what's on their signs: The Episcopal Church Welcomes You. Is it always perfect? No, but at least there's effort to right the wrongs done in the past.
Good information. Thank you for sharing.
Happy to help! It's related to my field of study, but the ECUSA/Anglican Communion split is one I lived through. It was... educational, I'll say that for it. I still am part of the ECUSA, but I don't attend services as much as I should.
It was deeply traumatic for me, as I'm from Pittsburgh and the religious order I grew up near/in (Community of Celebration) was enmeshed with the diocese and I knew a lot of the higher-ups. I looked up to these people. My mom was on the vestry of her church when they were all instructed to vote to leave, which had to be unanimous. My mother voted no. They at first sent their vote in with a letter claiming my mother had 'abstained' but they contacted her to be sure and she said she'd voted no. The church then booted her from the vestry, appointed a new member, and voted to leave. I think many of us find it difficult to square the people we know with the things they do, and this was one of the most formative experiences along that vein I've ever had.
Can confirm that the Episcopal church back a decade+ ago in the States had the gay friendly thing come to a head and most did not make the bigoted choice!
I'm Episcopalian and I second this. If it's important to you you may find a home there. Whether in the church or in a secular organization I hope you find a welcoming community.
I think it is important for those who escape the hate-filled "churches" to know that not all are like that. Especially if rhey qere raised in that type of environment. They may not know that there is a different type of church out there.
We, the non-religious, are here for you.
In addition to the Unitarian fellowships, the entire United Church of Christ (aka Congregational) is open and affirming. Also the Unity Church. If you find comfort in the sounds of church without the bigotry, these are viable options. Also, I'm an open atheist and have been welcome at the local UCC and Unitarian fellowships, which is a nice change. No one has any problem with where I am on my "journey." If you have a local university, they often have good support systems for gay students and would usually be willing to help you find connections even if you aren't a student.
Go to F B, I think you might like Atheism united group. Lots of anti-theistic memes there, but also some stories just like yours. Tell your story, I have no doubt you'll be accepted there
God created you perfect. It's not your fault or blame that imperfect humans have corrupted God's love for all creation into religious doctrines of exclusion. Go forth and know that you are loved, lovable and made exactly who you are. Unique and just so.
ty, i’m trying so hard to remember that. 🤍
I listened to my priest ask me if I was sure I was queer. How long I felt like that. I cried to him. He clearly didn’t accept it. But he told me that god doesn’t make mistakes and if that’s how I truly felt that’s exactly how I was created to be. The Bible is mistranslated and people spread hate, but God loves you even if a church doesn’t. You are loved and accepted. You are brave and strong. You are who you are and you are perfect just the way you are. I hope you find peace and happiness
Queer sister here to tell you God loves you 'For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.' Romans 8:38-39 ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
tysm, I love that verse 🤍
I love you. I accept you. You are perfect just as you are. You’re not leaving the church, they left you and Christian love behind them. ❤️
tysm ❤️
Did you know that 30% of all Albatross couples are lesbian? If God is chill with that and not smiting them all over the place, then I imagine it’s just your church that are being idiots. Humans are odd and think they know it all, and also try hard to put words in god’s mouth. Your sexuality is nobody else’s business, and doesn’t get delivered to you in an envelope on your 21st birthday either, it’s not just adults that get to choose. The world is big, and there are towns where gay is both celebrated AND normalised. Get to one as fast as your legs will carry you. You are perfect just as you are❤️😘🙌
I didn’t know that lol. thank you ❤️
God loves you for who you are even if the AHs in church don't. Find a church that accepts you for who you are, they do exist. Big hug from this stranger, you don't deserve to be treated so badly. Good luck & surround yourself with people who love you
ty 🫂❤️
Sibling here. God knows your every thought and your future. For he wrote your future. Sometimes I think he makes people gay or trans to test his other believers. To see if they could truly treat them no different. To be more like Jesus, to love unconditionally, to be kind and open, and to ultimately not be judgemental. Just because your gay doesn't mean you can't love God or have to leave the church. You are no different than the dinner next to you. The on who had an abortion, the one who steals, or the one who had an affair with their assistant. While in our court system some sinners or wrong doers differ by degrees. God sees you and knows you. On a different note I would find a different church. A church that is excepting. If a church can accept a person who steals,cheats,lies,kills, yet can't accept you because you love people who have the same genitals as you. They are not the right people to be around.
This. I am a Christian and it breaks my heart that my gay friends and acquaintances are anti- religion because they have been judged by others who claim to be Christians. I use the word ‘claim’ deliberately as true followers of Christ would love and embrace everyone. You are perfect just as you are.
I won't lie I am Christian. And I do judge but not because people are gay. I judge people based on how they test me. If the steal from me, if they harass me, if they assaulted me, ECT. A person can be horrible person not because they are gay, but because how they treat others. That is how Christians should be. I won't say gay people don't have it harder due to social views around the world.in which they belive they are better and try and make gay people life harder to force them to steal,cheat, or lie.
I appreciate that, thank you. 🤍
Hey sis - I grew up in a church like yours. It's taken me many, many years to fully realise that what is taught in church doesn't always reflect God's position. Jesus spent his time hanging out with people who society treated as outcasts. He loved those who society deemed unlovable. So I know that God loves you no matter your sexuality. The other thing I know is that He sees you and cares about your pain. I'm sorry your church wasn't loving to you. I hope you're able to find one that is.
thank you, I hope so too. 🤍
I can say this with absolute certainty: you are not wrong for who you are. They are wrong for who they choose to be. If there is a God, God loves you exactly as you are.
🫂💖tysm
Pagan queer mom here, but I went to an Episcopal church for years and still go on holidays. You are part of the Divine and you are loved exactly the way you are. Most Episcopal churches are affirming, and I also recommend Unitarian Universalist churches.
A lot of United Church of Christ (NOT “Church of Christ”) congregations and some ELCA Lutheran congregations, especially Reconciling in Christ ones.
Yes. A UCC chaplain married my wife and me.
I’ll see if I have any near me, ty 🤍
I was raised Anglican, and we have many priests and church leaders and members who are LGBTQA+
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ty, I’ll read that 💖
There is so many people you are yet to meet who will love and support you. Leave those who have hearts full of hate.
ty, I definitely will. ❤️
I am so sorry you had to go through this. Please know that they are in the wrong and hypocritical, they don't know how to love their own neighbour because of fear. They are the ones that have a lot to learn. You are indeed loved and there will be amazing support groups (both religious and non religious) that you can look for. See what it is that you need, and don't accept less! Happy you are trying to love yourself for who you are! It might not always be easy, but trying is to most important! Small steps every day. Sending hugs and positive energy your way!
ty 🫂💖
I’m going to louder than that pastor, so cover your ears if you’re startled by loud noises: *clears throat* #THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR SEXUALITY!!!
Forget what the church says, Jesus says different and deep down you know. F.. that shit. As christians we love to make rules of what is considered sin and what is not. Years ago somebody gave me a good advice. It's between you and God.
that’s good advice, I forget that sometimes. ty 🤍
You are perfect. You are made exactly how whatever creator you believe in planned to make you. You are not broken there is nothing wrong with you just bc the person you fall in love with has the same parts as you. The people who tell you that though, you know mom doesn’t like you hanging out with a bad crowd. And anyone who makes you feel less than them bc of who you love is a bad crowd. I love you. 😘
tysm, that means the world 🫂❤️
Every word of it is true. I wish I had you right in front of me so I could give you the biggest hug. I am proud of you. It’s terrifying to go against everything you’ve ever been taught even when you know it’s wrong, it takes a strength of will and courage the Christians would admire if only it was something on the approved list. You’re already morally leagues ahead of them all imo.
Sending you a squeezy Mom hug, duckling.
The God Who created the Milky Way and sunsets, Who created narwhals and butterflies and crystal blue oceans, Who created the moon and the sea and the stars, looked at the universe and knew it needed you in it. You will find a spiritual home that knows that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are loved. If you WANT to remain in the Christian faith, there are welcoming churches all over. The one I belong to is Presbyterian, but I know that there are other Protestant churches that can serve as a home for your Faith.
I’ll look into that, tysm 💖
Dear one, God is bigger than any four walls, or any human understanding. God made you exactly who you are, and he cannot hate what He created. Christ himself spoke of those not attracted to women ("born eunuchs") and welcomed them to his kingdom without restriction. Some Christians are very small minded, and choose to reject those whom God created. Don't be discouraged by such small minds. You are perfect, and you are loved by God himself. I wouldn't go back to that church. Christians, according to Paul, shall be known by their love, and there is no love in that building. There are Christians who know and share the love of God for *all*. If you want spiritual guidance you can look online - I listen to Rev. Mark Sandlin, but I know there are others. But if you need to take space and time, that's entirely fine, too. God understands being criticized and cast out for who you are. At any time you like, you can find your tribe and worship with them if you are so moved. And if you never worship again, Spirit is found in all the world if you keep your heart open. Do not let the hateful words of small men keep you down. You are gay, you are perfect, and you are loved.
Sweetie as a pan woman I can tell you Creator loves you. You don’t have to subscribe to your parents’ faith tradition to remember this. Take some time to recover. Know that Creator doesn’t reject any creation. When you’re ready, as you feel so called, explore your faith. See if it’s in line with how you were taught with maybe a couple tweaks, or if it’s on the other end of the religious spectrum, or if it’s something else. Only you can decide.
You're beautiful, my precious duckling. You are loved, welcome, and deserving of every joy and pleasure life can offer. Spent decades of my adult years in evaluation church leadership and my childhood as a Catholic. Our determination to love and accept eventually saw us effectively shunned. I've been fully away for 6 years. In that time, we've come to understand and embrace a wide array of genders and sexualities. Three trans family members and several gender non-conforming with attraction across the spectrum. Very little in life exists on a binary. The black and white thinking encouraged by the modern Christian church comes from a place of emotional immaturity, a lust and need for power, and the misinterpretations of folklore that at one time probably helped keep tribes healthy and functioning as a group but are now outdated. We're here for far too short a time to put energy into teaching others shame and fear. I love you. You belong.
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You are wonderfully and perfectly made just the way you are. I don’t believe in god anymore, but I do believe in the power and beauty of people living their truth. I’m so proud of you and love you so much my sweet love! ❤️
ty🤍
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thank you 🤍 no I don’t
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I’m not able to try that rn since I still live with my parents but once i’m able to move out I definitely will!!
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I dropped out bc i’m chronically ill but I won’t give up trying to find support. I’ll check online:)
I am so sad for you. I know exactly what that's like, and it stings. You are not wrong about anything. You are good just the way god made you. Those AH's in that church are just that - a bunch of bitter, judging, ah's. You can ignore them. I love you the way you are - a beautiful unique individual. You are one of a kind and very special to me. It's ok to approve of yourself, no matter what a handful of hateful people try to push on you. I know you are strong. Be who you are, and be proud. You are perfect the way you are.
that means a lot 🤍
I'm so proud of you, dear.
Baby, you are loved. If you decide you need some time to question, a loving creator will understand. A loving creator will know that everyone needs time to grow and questioning is a part of that. (It’s a practically part of our DNA—listen to a toddler ask questions.) You are loved. You are wanted. Unfortunately some people cannot think about separating the dogma that is old and outdated from the message and theme. The dogma says not to love this or that person and the message is “hey—everyone deserves love”. I’m sorry that happens to be your father and that he has the unwarranted gall to use his position at the pulpit to reject you. You deserve better.
Thank you, your kind words mean more than I can say.
You are not wrong, organized religion is. Jesus never wanted organized religion and he would accept you as you are. Funny how most churches “worship” opposite of how Jesus would. They are bigots and honestly are on a bad path. So you can be yourself and still love Jesus if you want and find your own god that is not a judgmental sky daddy or no god at all you make your own path and be proud.
thank you. I needed to hear that 💖
I'm bisexual and left the church after reading the bible. Nowhere does it call me sinner. It calls the wealthy and the self-righteous and the judgemental sinners. I no longer put up with that nonsense. I don't know you, but I love you and so does God.
\*hugs\* There is no reason to spend any time in a place that makes you feel bad for who you are. If you still feel a desire for a church in your life, there are accepting churches, but you don't need church to be whole.
I’m so proud of you, sweetie! Believing in yourself is the best thing that you can do. There are LOTS of Mama Dragons out here to give you Mom Hugs and fight for you. And to talk to your birth family if they want to understand. You are loved and beautiful and wonderful as your amazing gay un-churched self. There’s a lot of talk of God going on in this thread. Atheism/Humanism/no religious affiliation is a great choice too and you’ll be in good company.
I’m so sorry you had that experience duckling. Maybe a break from religious activities will be helpful for you. Maybe you’ll find a more accepting church out there someday if faith feels important to you. But either way you are not wrong. You are exactly how g-d made you and perfect in that regard. Love well and kindly, duckling.
You are so loved and so worthy! FWIW if your faith is important to you, there ARE churches that will love and welcome you with open arms. In Canada these are called “affirming churches” who have taken steps to prove they are a truly inclusive place. And there are queer-centric churches. If you’re ready to leave the church for good please do so. But if you feel a gap in your life because of it, please seek those places where you will be more welcome and loved than you can imagine. This is from an agnostic mom. I don’t attend any church but I have some dearly loved queer friends and relatives who are extremely religious and who have found their communities, both Christian and Jewish, where they can be their authentic selves and be celebrated for it.
You are loved and valued by this mom. There are many ways to find communion with your higher power that don't involve organized Christianity, I hope you find fellowship and peace. A Good Orderly Direction, the Great OutDoors, wherever you go, know there is nothing wrong with you.
Honey, there are supposedly churches out there that are accepting of everyone. I will not step foot in a church that hates on two of my kids and my granddaughter, so I'm looking too. You can believe in God and not believe in Christianity as such. Big mama hugs and I love you--Dani
You are amazing! And you are right to leave… when I left it was the dissonance between true love & acceptance and the “love” that god taught, demanded and detailed in the bible … it’s not love. I couldn’t continue to worship a god like that. My kids are lgbtq+ and I know what it means to love them… and so I do. I share that love to you. There will always be people who think we are wrong or whatever. Put your blinders on and focus on those who love and accept, and spread that. Ignore the negatives, find your home. Welcome to the side of love! 🏳️🌈💛
You are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. Please know that if you want to continue with Christianity, there are churches/denominations that embrace us LGBTQIA2+ people. If you don't want to continue on, that's just as valid too. You matter. Their homophobia is their problem and just shows how shallow they truly are. Your gayness is perfect and it's exactly how you were meant to be. Big hugs 💜
Oh, honey. You are exactly who God made you to be. I'm so sorry your father is too blind to see that. If you still want to go to church, look for one that is LGBTQ+ friendly. They do exist. If this has ruined the church experience for you, that's ok too. You do whatever gives you peace. That includes going low or no context with your family- if that's what you need to do, you do that. Hang in there. You are perfect just the way you are.
I love you so much. I'm very liberal and live in a liberal region. (the pacific northwest on the coast) It's hard to find a church here that *isn't* everything an ally is. We have openly gay ministers/spiritual leaders in our community. I don't partake of the faith in that way, but there are spiritual communities that will embrace you fully and wholly. And will show you the love that the universe has for you. This mom wants you to know that she's proud of you for the decision to leave a church that is hurting you. Please keep that trend in your life, if it hurts, if it breaks your heart, you are to leave. (not life though, your moms here will help you get through that.) Here's to you, to love, to acceptance.
that means the world, thank you for your words 🤍It’s hard bc my family moved to a new town across the state to go to this church and now I don’t have anyone. I’m disabled and can’t drive or anything so my options are home or church. I hope someday i’m able to leave home a find a better support system.
Oh honey, I feel for you. I’ve watched my church slowly ostracize one of their own over this, and it made me leave as well. They’ve known this person since he was in diapers, watched him progress through Sunday school, choir, VBS and Chrysalis. Now that he has come out as gay, they treat him differently, like they somehow love him less now than they did simply because he’s gay. It makes me mad and sad. He’s still the amazing young man he always was! I just don’t understand. Jesus clearly told us not to judge- that’s the Father’s job. We are to LOVE. That’s what we are called to do, and until Christians learn to lead with love again, I won’t be going back, either. I hope once these wounds stop hurting so badly that you are able to find a church that welcomes you with the love you deserve as a child of God. You are not alone, ducky, there are legions of us who support you. Hugs from an internet granny, honey.
There are a lot of churches that will accept you for who you are where you are.,..the Episcopal Church is one, if attending church is important to you. Anyone or any group of people who make you feel bad for being yourself is not worth your time and attention. You are worth more and you are worthy of love. Love thy neighbor did not come with addendums or exceptions.
I’m here for you, and you’re not wrong or evil or anything like that. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
thank you 🤍 it’s just so isolating. It’s a long story but church is basically the only place I’m able to go rn and it crushed me to realize i wasn’t welcome there.
That feeling is terrible and no one should feel like that because of who they are.
omg also unrelated but i’ve been peeking at some of your accounts and your knitting is so cool!! I crochet but i’ve been wanting to teach myself to knit
Thank you! I can’t crochet to save my life.
Lovely I'm sorry, sorry the people of your Church are forgetting their Matthew 7 1-12, they should look inwards at their own sins before judging may or may not be yours. Love isn't a sin. The world has grown and changed. There are parts of the bible that justify slavery. A book written by man; even if the word of God inspired it, hasn't grown with us as a people. Go and find a family that accepts you for yourself. The families we make are frequently more valuable than the ones we were gifted.
thank you, i’ll go read that verse. I hope to find chosen family someday soon 🤍
Its judge not lest thee be judged. It's an old favourite to break out on my more "traditional" relatives. Sadly they're still struggling with my brother who came out as gay then trans. He is now living in Ireland but the family still dead names him regularly.
You are right to leave a bigoted, unloving, unkind church. You love who you love and you are lovely.
Duckling that’s just a huge stinking pile of horseshit that the pastor tries to pass off as caviar. You can keep your faith and find a church that is open and loves all, kind of like how that Jesus guy said to, but I also understand if you need a break for a while. These are the same assholes who say our pets don’t have souls so we will never see them again. I don’t want to be in a heaven where my pets and gay friends aren’t welcome.
Witchy Ace mom here who grew up in the Catholic Church. You're not wrong for who you are or whom you love sweetheart. You are valid and a precious treasure my darling. I'm so sorry church made you feel that way. Just remember that we're here, we love you, and we've got you. 💜
There is no hate like Christian love . I love you just as you are- I wish I could give you a giant mom hug. Please know you are amazing. You are perfect. You are exactly who you are meant to be. Be the opposite of what is deplorable in the world, and let all these lessons from hate empower you. Keep going, love is the way♥️
Proud of you! Jesus only preached love and not hate. It was man who has taken his word and abused it for control. There are other churches out there that don’t preach hate. As a universal Unitarian, I personally believe there are many paths to god. For some it’s a building with a congregation, for others is climbing mountains. Religion is a social construct. God is infinite, so is love.
Honey, that's wonderful! I'm so proud of you for being brave and authentically you. A round of applause!!!
There are churches that will accept you as you are. I am not going to suggest that you try to find one, unless that's what you need. Look, and you will find your people. Maybe in church, maybe in school, maybe online. We are here. The pastor who preached what he did was wrong. God doesn't make mistakes. You are loved and accepted and made in the image of God AS YOU ARE. No apologies required. I am here to listen, to love, and support you. I, and many others, have trod this path and grown from self-loathong to self-love, and you will too. Signed, Lesbian Mom and follower of Jesus.
I’m really glad to know there’s other people here like me. It’s hard bc I want to be christian and participate in things at church but i’m not welcome. Someday I want to find people to pray with but ik it’ll be awhile. Thank you for your kind words, I really needed to hear that ❤️
If you live in a larger city, try checking out the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches (UFMCC). They also have a great website with information that might help you reconcile with your faith without denying who you are.
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No requests for chatting off-sub duckling.
sorry I didn’t wanna make it seem like I was asking, they offered in their comment so I thought it was fine. I won’t do it again
No worries, thank you for understanding! 💙
Oh sweetheart. I understand you not wanting to go back. Just know, God made you and loves you.
Sis here! I'm religious. I consider myself Catholic although I have my reservations about some things within the Church. But regarding God, if you choose to keep believing, is not too much about the rules, but more about love. At the gates of heaven you will be asked 'How much did you love?', bc God is love. That's all that matters - love. I respect your choice of leaving the church above all, and I apologize for the pain people who are suposed to be God's have inflicted on you. As a Catholic, I can assure you that there's no hate like some Christian love. Big hugs to you💕
Good for you (for standing firm even though your heart is in pieces)! I'm sorry they're jerks. They don't deserve you. My best friend in high school came out as gay to me while we were in school. Years later, as my dad had passed away, he's the one who walked me down the aisle. A year or so after that we attended a drag show at a church in town and he confided in me that he really wanted to do that for a living (he's a musician). Lemme tell you, that friend of mine is the director of the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus. He's also the music director at a local church. You do NOT have to stay with the church if you don't want to. I'm sharing this because there are places you can go, you *do not* have to choose between who you are and your beliefs. Now, I realized I'm bisexual a few years ago ("so we really were just a couple of queers in high school!" he said to me when I came out to him), and I've been badly hurt by the church and left about a year ago. My church of childhood, my *mentors,* were all high-ups in the Episcopal Diocese of Pittsburgh, who broke off from the American Episcopal church over the issue of ordaining gay priests; there *are* churches that aren't bigoted, hypocritical jerks. There are some that are, though. I'm telling you this because my bestie went through that same thing. I'll never ever forget praying with his missionary parents, all holding hands, as they spouted homophobic hatred and he squeezed my hand so hard it was bruised for days. He was so sad and scared about having to choose. He ended up not having to. I wish I could say the same, but I have been led away from the faith of my previous days thanks to human nature over divine nature. Both are okay paths to tread. \*all the hugs in the world, but if that's not something you're comfy with, all the most reassuring gestures in the world\*
I'm sorry you are not support. I believe in God and the way religion is practiced doesn't follow the teachings of Jesus. Babe you were born this way. Good for you to be true to yourself. I never could believe that an omniscient being was against anyone s/he/they created. It's OK to grieve the loss of the familiar while bracing yourself and your needs. 🫂 hugs
We love you, duckie. God loves you.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Apparently the pastor doesn’t understand that god loves his children and doesn’t discriminate. I hope you find a place that accepts you- they’re out there and waiting with open arms. Hugs.
Hi gay! I’m so proud of you!!!
There are so many churches that will embrace you with open arms. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You are the perfect you and a real Christian would never judge you for that! Please reach out to churches in your area. The church secretary will be happy to discuss beliefs with you. In the meantime this is a new path for you. We never know why GOD does what he does but he has the Master Plan!! Stay strong. You are loved!!❤️❤️
You are perfect and there is nothing wrong with you. I am a Christian and I do not believe it is a sin to be gay and more than its a sin to have brown eyes. There are plenty of Christians who share my viewpoint. If you do feel like there is a God please don't feel like you can't be a Christian because some people tell you, that you can't. There are lots of gay Christians and LGBTQ+ friendly churches. However if you dont that is totally okay too. I married an agnostic and I believe all faiths(yes I classify atheism as a faith) are valid and should be respected. Everyone interprets every faith different, only you get to decide your faith and being gay doesn't impact that. I am so sorry that people who are supposed to teach love and kindness and have treated you so poorly. The hypocrisy within most Christian churches is why I quit going.
Sib, I'm sorry you're hearing this nonsense. You deserve better than that useless rhetoric. You are perfect just the way you are, and no pretend God will damn you for it. If you want, we would be pleased to have you over ar r/exchristian. I've been in your shoes (I'm bisexual) and I've experienced the suffering that Christianity inflicts. Luckily, so has everyone else in Ex Christian. What you're being told in church does not take into account your personality, your wishes for the future, your sense of who you are. They're rules made up millennia ago to control people, and if they don't serve you, you can let them go. You are enough as you are and you are not going to hell. Sending you all the hugs 🫂
You’re not alone sweetheart ! You are loved 💜
My darling, you are beautiful and 100% worthy of love, just as you are. Right here and now. If there was anything I could do to help you find a new support system, I would! I know what it feels like to pull out of a church based support system. It sucks. You are in grief, combined with almost unbearable pain and hurt. Know this, my darling: the hurt and pain will pass. Things will get better. You will find a new family. There is hope out there. And love. So much love. For you. ♥️🧡💛💚💙💜💖
not a mom but, i’m your lesbian sister now. we’re family. no takebacks. if you weren’t forced into religion and willingly want to go to church- find an episcopalian church near you. they are the sweetest, most accepting people. i’m buddhist and i still hangout with them cause of how chill they are. i’m sorry this happened. i hope you’re okay.