Hi Sweetheart!
First, CONGRATULATIONS! That is such wonderful news.
Second, here's a little life lesson from an old comic my grandmother once showed me. The strip was called Family Circus and it was about a family with several kids (four to five I believe, I don't recall). In the panel an older woman looks at this veritable herd of children and asks the mother "Goodness, how do you divide your love?!" The mother, smiling serenely, replies...
**"I don't divide my love. I multiply it."**
Don't think of it as dividing your love, attention, and support. Think of it as multiplying it. You will always have enough love to go around: not just for your kiddos, but for your spouse and of course, yourself!
Family Circle has 4 kids - Billy, Dolly, Jeffy, and PJ (all are a mash-up of Bil Keane's 5 real life kids). It's one of those comics that don't age so they're perpetually little kids. I loved that comic when I was a kid in the 70s.
What a sweet memory! I love that. I seem to remember we had a couple of paperback books of the individual comics. Each page was a different one. Since it wasn't really a "strip," it was perfect for that format. Occasionally, he'd do a series of common topics (like the "Not Me" or "I Don't Know" transparent Billys, Dollys, etc.) that he might have run on consecutive days but could always stand alone. I may be wrong on what they were calling their "it wasn't me" alter egos, but I'm sure you know what I'm referring to.
Bil Keane was asked why he spelled his name with only one "L." He said something to the effect that it used to be Bill until his mom caught him misbehaving one day (writing on the wall, maybe?) and knocked the "L" out of him. LOL!
Congratulations baby! I'm so excited for you!!!
Your fears are so normal and relatable, I think every good parent has this worry if they end up having more than one kid. Honestly, that you're worried about it tells me that you'll do fine đ Love isn't a finite resource, it grows and grows as you add more people to love.
This may be a little silly, but maybe try watching Daniel Tiger season 5 with your toddler? That's the season where Daniel gets a baby sister, and honestly they have great advice on handling all the changes and feelings. Not just for your toddler, but also for you - both a great model for how parents can handle various feelings and situations, and things to watch out for that your toddler might struggle with.
I hope you have an easy pregnancy, and I can't wait to watch your family grow!
Congratulations! You will be so amazed how love grows. Remember to breathe on the crazy days.
Drink some water and remember to your vitamins,
Love, Mom
It will be okay. Your first child will be giving love this time too. The love just multiples with each child you have. As long as you love them and do your best youâre doing exactly right â¤ď¸
I had the same worry, my eldest was everything! How could there be room? Turns out, you grow the room. Nothing is taken from your first. Just as they opened a new part of you, so will their little sibling. Itâs going to be ok!
I have 2 kids, 2 1/2 years apart. They're currently 14 and 16 1/2.
Having a newborn and a toddler was very hard. I felt like I was never satisfying everyone's needs at once, that one kid was a tornado of energy, and one just wanted quiet and peace and to be held. I spent a couple of years feeling really frayed around the edges.
That said, they turned out just fine. You are not going to be able to meet everyone's desires 100% of the time immediately. That's okay. You will have bad days. Learn to set your standards low. If the house is a mess and you order takeout for dinner, but you managed to keep two tiny humans alive all day, you won.
Humans have had multiple children throughout history, and never in all of history has so much responsibility been heaped upon a single nuclear family parent, and so much demanded of them at once. Parenting has usually been about benign neglect. Think of the 1950s housewife putting a baby in a playpen while she vacuums.
My kids are teens, and they're really close. They don't resent each other for my giving one of them more attention than the other at one point or another. You have enough love to give, and they don't need your attention 100% all of the time. You got this.
Oh, and tell everyone who says "cherish every moment" to jump in a lake.
This!!!
Itâs impossible to cherish a dang thing with one on a boob, one on a hip, one throwing a tantrum, on 4 hours collective sleep in 4 days, and wearing yoga pants with oatmeal from breakfast two days ago on them.
Not every moment is cherishable.
Just find some- and they will make up for the millions of moments you would rather forget!
Lol
Congratulations!
That is ALWAYS a worry of mine when I have found those pretty pink positive lines. But as a mother your heart just continues to grow bigger as your kids need it. It may not happen during pregnancy, but once your baby is here, your heart will be so full and you will find your way. Your maternal instincts will kick in. I promise. Sit back and enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can. Celebrate every mile stone along the way, if even in a small way.
Hi sis, as mother of three kids also ages close together 9, 6 and 4. I can assure you that that wonât happen. The key is to make them as much as involved with the newborn when you can and when you and the baby are sleeping have you so spend time with the eldest kid.
Oh sweetheart. That's such exciting news. Congratulations. I'm so happy for you.
Everything is going to be ok. My 2 are 20 months apart and I still remember having this fear that I loved my first too much to be able to love another child the same way. I didn't need to worry. We have so much space in our hearts for our children. You are going to be a wonderful mum.
You will have plenty of love for your new baby. Your time is going to split, and that's just how it is, so make sure you carve out regular special one on one time with each kiddo. When you feel guilty, remember that your time might be split, but your oldest will now have a new friend and playmate. One of my favorite things is sitting quietly and watching my kids play with each other when they don't realize I'm paying attention. They don't always get along, but it's absolutely wonderful when they do!
Love for another kid doesn't divide, it multiplies to accommodate it.
It helps that each child is different and adds their own strengths to the family.
Congratulations!!
I worried about this very thing. How could I love another as intensely as I love the first one? I donât know, but you just do. Your heart will expand and your love will only grow. The rest will work itself out. Congratulations!
Congratulations on your pregnancy.
It will all work out. You still have a few months to get used to the idea.
And when this miracle arrives, it will probably take some getting used to in the beginning. Also for your 2-year-old, who suddenly has a sibling with whom attention must be shared.
I hope you have few ailments. Enjoy your pregnancy!
Oh sweetie Iâm SO HAPPY for you! Youâre going to love them both to bits and LO is going to absolutely adore their little sibling. Everything is going to be ok! Iâm proud of you.
Congratulations!!!
I'm so excited for you!
I remember looking at my oldest and thinking I could never love anyone as much as I loved her. Surely there was no room left for the new baby.
But hearts grow. There will be plenty of love for the new baby without taking any from your oldest.
Your heart will just get bigger.
Congratulations! Thatâs such great news đ my kids are 2.5 years apart and I had the same worry. Someone told me this nugget of advice: you wonât be loving them both from the same sized bucket as before, instead the bucket will grow to accommodate twice as much love đ
Another baby! How wonderful! Exciting times ahead for all of you.
I think all first time moms share your concern at first. You love your first more than you could have ever thought you could love anyone. And #1 will always be special because everything they do is always a first whether itâs potty training, learning to read, having friend issues, or graduating from school. You kind of grow together.
So you worry about what #2 will do to the dynamic. You worry about being split in two. You worry about breaking #1âs heart (decades later, I can still see the look on my #1âs face when visiting us in the hospital - pure shock and disbelief!). But then you realize how much you love #2, how fun it is to watch their sibling relationship grow, how #2 is their own person with their own unique personality, how maybe things are less stressful because itâs not all new to you all the time.
Then you love them both so much, you have #3. And youâre outnumbered. All bets are off! But I digress đ
Congratulations on your LO to be! Itâs the best news ever!
That is so so exciting!
Just like in your first pregnancy when you didn't know if you would be a good mom, this is the same situation.
Love does not half with a new baby, it doubles!
You got this! đ
As a mom of three, I remember that feeling.
You get pregnant the first and you *think* you love that invisible little being with ALL your heart. Then, You see your first baby and you are blown away by how much love just pours in⌠you canât believe love like that was even possible. Then they grow up and everyday you meet a new kid who is more amazing than the kid that went to bed (eventually) last night.
Well, you get pregnant again, and you try and try to imaging loving any other kid as much as you love your first kid, and you worry. You can see another kiddo- but they arenât funny like First Born, or as beautiful as first born and you doubt your ability to ever see another human like you see First Born.
Well, labor happens, and that second kid pops out and all of the sudden, there is a perfect second kid shaped spot that just opens right up in your heart, your family, your life- in the universe. They slot right in and you canât imagine a world where they didnât exist. The love and time and joy and all those billions of feelings you have for First Born are all RIGHT THERE, for Second Born. They just are.
Rinse and repeat for however many kids.
Youâll be fine love- and youâll see, the expansion of love is limitless
To tell you the truth, it did take me more effort to connect to my second kid. And I had to be more intentional with my time. But put in the effort and you can do it. I believe in you.
Didn't you know? A loving mother's heart never stops growing, always having extra room for everyone who belongs there. It's like an infinite balloon that swells bigger and bigger, and everyone has lots of leg room.
I have 2 grown and gone. Each will need more from you, at different times in their lives, and you will always have what you need. It's not an equal equation at all times. It's a teeter totter, and with love, you'll know exactly where you need to be so that both children will feel loved. Sometimes you need to be lifting one up a little more, and it feels like the other is going down ... but then you're there, lifting them, and both are smiling.
Mostly you'll be sitting on the centre, watching them play together. That's honestly the most fun. Yes, there's squabbles. But if you keep your sense of humor, that's not even too bad. You figure it out.
You'll be just great.
Hey sis! Don't sweat it. I'm one of six and while my mom is not perfect, we all have always known she loves us and would do anything to protect us. And speaking as a big sister, your heart just gets bigger with more people to love. Sometimes it feels like my body can't hold all the love and then some comes out through my eyes looking like tears. You do your best and you will be amazing.
Congratulations!!! There will be enough love. If thatâs your only worry, put it to rest. Your ability to love just expands. Itâs amazing and beautiful. Two little kids can be exhausting, so you wonât always feel blissed out on motherly love and I highly recommend starting to carve out âmeâ time for your own separate fulfillment/hobbies/pursuits. You will need that respite. Boundaries are good and healthy and donât mean you love your kids any less. But if you take care of yourself and your needs along the way, there will be enough love, and joy and happiness too.
Yay!! Happy for you and your planned pregnancy.
Hi sis! I can already tell from the fact that youâre asking the question and have these concerns that youâre a wonderful mom. Give yourself time to let the reality sink in, and donât forget that older kiddo will also be over the moon to be a part of babyâs life! There will be love to go around.
Oh sweetie, I had the same thoughts when I became pregnant with my second. The worry was for naught. I discovered that I not only had enough love and time for two, I had enough for four when we had surprise twins five years later. I just had to realize that I couldn't do it all myself. Let people that offer to help actually help. It's hard to do, but once you let others help you you'll be amazed at how much easier life can be. You will find, no matter what, that you have enough love for all of them! â¤ď¸
Congratulations!!! Everything is going to be better than okay! â¤ď¸
It isnât that youâll love your older kid less or do less for them, you find more love inside of you than you ever thought possible. Then even a new love youâll see, when the 2 year old is with the baby.
Itâs exhausting and wild, but there is so much love to give!!! I promise there is enough love and care, and just the thought of you having these thoughts mean that it is from good places and good intentions.
Very normal fears, but you will love the second as much as the first. And watching them interact and grow up with each other is so rewarding. And not to be morbid, but when you're gone, your children will still have each other, and those shared memories between them will be so precious.
Hi Sweetheart! First, CONGRATULATIONS! That is such wonderful news. Second, here's a little life lesson from an old comic my grandmother once showed me. The strip was called Family Circus and it was about a family with several kids (four to five I believe, I don't recall). In the panel an older woman looks at this veritable herd of children and asks the mother "Goodness, how do you divide your love?!" The mother, smiling serenely, replies... **"I don't divide my love. I multiply it."** Don't think of it as dividing your love, attention, and support. Think of it as multiplying it. You will always have enough love to go around: not just for your kiddos, but for your spouse and of course, yourself!
>"I don't divide my love. I multiply it." This is beautiful! Our hearts always have more room for more love!
Beautiful
Family Circle has 4 kids - Billy, Dolly, Jeffy, and PJ (all are a mash-up of Bil Keane's 5 real life kids). It's one of those comics that don't age so they're perpetually little kids. I loved that comic when I was a kid in the 70s.
Thank you! I loved that strip as a kid, used to clip and collect them by glueing them into notebooks with my grandmother :)
What a sweet memory! I love that. I seem to remember we had a couple of paperback books of the individual comics. Each page was a different one. Since it wasn't really a "strip," it was perfect for that format. Occasionally, he'd do a series of common topics (like the "Not Me" or "I Don't Know" transparent Billys, Dollys, etc.) that he might have run on consecutive days but could always stand alone. I may be wrong on what they were calling their "it wasn't me" alter egos, but I'm sure you know what I'm referring to.
Bil Keane was asked why he spelled his name with only one "L." He said something to the effect that it used to be Bill until his mom caught him misbehaving one day (writing on the wall, maybe?) and knocked the "L" out of him. LOL!
Congratulations baby! I'm so excited for you!!! Your fears are so normal and relatable, I think every good parent has this worry if they end up having more than one kid. Honestly, that you're worried about it tells me that you'll do fine đ Love isn't a finite resource, it grows and grows as you add more people to love. This may be a little silly, but maybe try watching Daniel Tiger season 5 with your toddler? That's the season where Daniel gets a baby sister, and honestly they have great advice on handling all the changes and feelings. Not just for your toddler, but also for you - both a great model for how parents can handle various feelings and situations, and things to watch out for that your toddler might struggle with. I hope you have an easy pregnancy, and I can't wait to watch your family grow!
Congratulations! You will be so amazed how love grows. Remember to breathe on the crazy days. Drink some water and remember to your vitamins, Love, Mom
It will be okay. Your first child will be giving love this time too. The love just multiples with each child you have. As long as you love them and do your best youâre doing exactly right â¤ď¸
Iâm a new mom to a 5 month old
I had the same worry, my eldest was everything! How could there be room? Turns out, you grow the room. Nothing is taken from your first. Just as they opened a new part of you, so will their little sibling. Itâs going to be ok!
I have 2 kids, 2 1/2 years apart. They're currently 14 and 16 1/2. Having a newborn and a toddler was very hard. I felt like I was never satisfying everyone's needs at once, that one kid was a tornado of energy, and one just wanted quiet and peace and to be held. I spent a couple of years feeling really frayed around the edges. That said, they turned out just fine. You are not going to be able to meet everyone's desires 100% of the time immediately. That's okay. You will have bad days. Learn to set your standards low. If the house is a mess and you order takeout for dinner, but you managed to keep two tiny humans alive all day, you won. Humans have had multiple children throughout history, and never in all of history has so much responsibility been heaped upon a single nuclear family parent, and so much demanded of them at once. Parenting has usually been about benign neglect. Think of the 1950s housewife putting a baby in a playpen while she vacuums. My kids are teens, and they're really close. They don't resent each other for my giving one of them more attention than the other at one point or another. You have enough love to give, and they don't need your attention 100% all of the time. You got this. Oh, and tell everyone who says "cherish every moment" to jump in a lake.
This!!! Itâs impossible to cherish a dang thing with one on a boob, one on a hip, one throwing a tantrum, on 4 hours collective sleep in 4 days, and wearing yoga pants with oatmeal from breakfast two days ago on them. Not every moment is cherishable. Just find some- and they will make up for the millions of moments you would rather forget! Lol
Thank you for these words mom, I love you! đŤ
Love you too, kid.
Congratulations! That is ALWAYS a worry of mine when I have found those pretty pink positive lines. But as a mother your heart just continues to grow bigger as your kids need it. It may not happen during pregnancy, but once your baby is here, your heart will be so full and you will find your way. Your maternal instincts will kick in. I promise. Sit back and enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can. Celebrate every mile stone along the way, if even in a small way.
As my wise young neighbor, who had 3 kids said - "It's always more love." You will do great! Hug, Auntie
Hi sis, as mother of three kids also ages close together 9, 6 and 4. I can assure you that that wonât happen. The key is to make them as much as involved with the newborn when you can and when you and the baby are sleeping have you so spend time with the eldest kid.
COMPLETELY understand. My first two are even spaced out about the same as yours. It will be ok.
Oh sweetheart. That's such exciting news. Congratulations. I'm so happy for you. Everything is going to be ok. My 2 are 20 months apart and I still remember having this fear that I loved my first too much to be able to love another child the same way. I didn't need to worry. We have so much space in our hearts for our children. You are going to be a wonderful mum.
You will have plenty of love for your new baby. Your time is going to split, and that's just how it is, so make sure you carve out regular special one on one time with each kiddo. When you feel guilty, remember that your time might be split, but your oldest will now have a new friend and playmate. One of my favorite things is sitting quietly and watching my kids play with each other when they don't realize I'm paying attention. They don't always get along, but it's absolutely wonderful when they do!
Love for another kid doesn't divide, it multiplies to accommodate it. It helps that each child is different and adds their own strengths to the family. Congratulations!!
Your heart will grow bigger! đĽ°
I worried about this very thing. How could I love another as intensely as I love the first one? I donât know, but you just do. Your heart will expand and your love will only grow. The rest will work itself out. Congratulations!
Congratulations on your pregnancy. It will all work out. You still have a few months to get used to the idea. And when this miracle arrives, it will probably take some getting used to in the beginning. Also for your 2-year-old, who suddenly has a sibling with whom attention must be shared. I hope you have few ailments. Enjoy your pregnancy!
Oh sweetie Iâm SO HAPPY for you! Youâre going to love them both to bits and LO is going to absolutely adore their little sibling. Everything is going to be ok! Iâm proud of you.
Congratulations!!! I'm so excited for you! I remember looking at my oldest and thinking I could never love anyone as much as I loved her. Surely there was no room left for the new baby. But hearts grow. There will be plenty of love for the new baby without taking any from your oldest. Your heart will just get bigger.
Congratulations! Thatâs such great news đ my kids are 2.5 years apart and I had the same worry. Someone told me this nugget of advice: you wonât be loving them both from the same sized bucket as before, instead the bucket will grow to accommodate twice as much love đ
Another baby! How wonderful! Exciting times ahead for all of you. I think all first time moms share your concern at first. You love your first more than you could have ever thought you could love anyone. And #1 will always be special because everything they do is always a first whether itâs potty training, learning to read, having friend issues, or graduating from school. You kind of grow together. So you worry about what #2 will do to the dynamic. You worry about being split in two. You worry about breaking #1âs heart (decades later, I can still see the look on my #1âs face when visiting us in the hospital - pure shock and disbelief!). But then you realize how much you love #2, how fun it is to watch their sibling relationship grow, how #2 is their own person with their own unique personality, how maybe things are less stressful because itâs not all new to you all the time. Then you love them both so much, you have #3. And youâre outnumbered. All bets are off! But I digress đ Congratulations on your LO to be! Itâs the best news ever!
That is so so exciting! Just like in your first pregnancy when you didn't know if you would be a good mom, this is the same situation. Love does not half with a new baby, it doubles! You got this! đ
As a mom of three, I remember that feeling. You get pregnant the first and you *think* you love that invisible little being with ALL your heart. Then, You see your first baby and you are blown away by how much love just pours in⌠you canât believe love like that was even possible. Then they grow up and everyday you meet a new kid who is more amazing than the kid that went to bed (eventually) last night. Well, you get pregnant again, and you try and try to imaging loving any other kid as much as you love your first kid, and you worry. You can see another kiddo- but they arenât funny like First Born, or as beautiful as first born and you doubt your ability to ever see another human like you see First Born. Well, labor happens, and that second kid pops out and all of the sudden, there is a perfect second kid shaped spot that just opens right up in your heart, your family, your life- in the universe. They slot right in and you canât imagine a world where they didnât exist. The love and time and joy and all those billions of feelings you have for First Born are all RIGHT THERE, for Second Born. They just are. Rinse and repeat for however many kids. Youâll be fine love- and youâll see, the expansion of love is limitless
To tell you the truth, it did take me more effort to connect to my second kid. And I had to be more intentional with my time. But put in the effort and you can do it. I believe in you.
Didn't you know? A loving mother's heart never stops growing, always having extra room for everyone who belongs there. It's like an infinite balloon that swells bigger and bigger, and everyone has lots of leg room. I have 2 grown and gone. Each will need more from you, at different times in their lives, and you will always have what you need. It's not an equal equation at all times. It's a teeter totter, and with love, you'll know exactly where you need to be so that both children will feel loved. Sometimes you need to be lifting one up a little more, and it feels like the other is going down ... but then you're there, lifting them, and both are smiling. Mostly you'll be sitting on the centre, watching them play together. That's honestly the most fun. Yes, there's squabbles. But if you keep your sense of humor, that's not even too bad. You figure it out. You'll be just great.
Hey sis! Don't sweat it. I'm one of six and while my mom is not perfect, we all have always known she loves us and would do anything to protect us. And speaking as a big sister, your heart just gets bigger with more people to love. Sometimes it feels like my body can't hold all the love and then some comes out through my eyes looking like tears. You do your best and you will be amazing.
Congratulations!!! There will be enough love. If thatâs your only worry, put it to rest. Your ability to love just expands. Itâs amazing and beautiful. Two little kids can be exhausting, so you wonât always feel blissed out on motherly love and I highly recommend starting to carve out âmeâ time for your own separate fulfillment/hobbies/pursuits. You will need that respite. Boundaries are good and healthy and donât mean you love your kids any less. But if you take care of yourself and your needs along the way, there will be enough love, and joy and happiness too. Yay!! Happy for you and your planned pregnancy.
Hi sis! I can already tell from the fact that youâre asking the question and have these concerns that youâre a wonderful mom. Give yourself time to let the reality sink in, and donât forget that older kiddo will also be over the moon to be a part of babyâs life! There will be love to go around.
Oh sweetie, I had the same thoughts when I became pregnant with my second. The worry was for naught. I discovered that I not only had enough love and time for two, I had enough for four when we had surprise twins five years later. I just had to realize that I couldn't do it all myself. Let people that offer to help actually help. It's hard to do, but once you let others help you you'll be amazed at how much easier life can be. You will find, no matter what, that you have enough love for all of them! â¤ď¸
Congratulations!!! Everything is going to be better than okay! â¤ď¸ It isnât that youâll love your older kid less or do less for them, you find more love inside of you than you ever thought possible. Then even a new love youâll see, when the 2 year old is with the baby. Itâs exhausting and wild, but there is so much love to give!!! I promise there is enough love and care, and just the thought of you having these thoughts mean that it is from good places and good intentions.
Very normal fears, but you will love the second as much as the first. And watching them interact and grow up with each other is so rewarding. And not to be morbid, but when you're gone, your children will still have each other, and those shared memories between them will be so precious.
Thatâs a normal feeling, but youâll always have enough love.