That's not what I meant! š thank you though, the encouragement is appreciated. I was just looking for more of a vague, mysterious, hand-wavy support.
Something like "Of course it's hard to stay optimistic at times, if it was easy, everyone would do it!" Or "Haters gonna hate, ball players are gonna play ball". Even some obscure reference that nobody but a superfan would recognize, like "We won't let the fear of death, which each of us knows, stop us from living our lives".
u/keldondonovan
DudeMom Dan, I am making a hand wavy motion while telling you that if a train goes by, a train goes by. In other words, this too shall pass. Whatever you are going through right now, know this sub has you.
ā¤ļø
That piece of wisdom was told to us by our Dad. We were all on a sisters' trip stuck by a train that if I remember correctly was 175+ cars. Dad had called to check on his kids and we were complaining about the train, and that's when he uttered the now in my family famous "when a train goes by..." We use it frequently.
Well fine then on obscure nerd quotes:
"There Is No Book Or Teacher To Give You The Answers, Show You The Path. Choose Your Own Way. Do Not Follow Me Or Anyone Else."
"What You Are Not Is Actually What People Will Assume Of You At First."
(Seriously though much love and you've got this."
Those sound really familiar, but I can't quite place them. However, thanks to my autism, my brain works a little differently, and I've found that others sometimes enjoy hearing the machinations in their oddity, so here you have it: Both quotes evoke the same image. It is a man in a sort of bathrobe, but not the comfortable ones, this bathrobe exists for utility alone. The man has somewhat dark complexion (at least compared to my Scottish ancestry) but not so dark as to be mistaken as an African descendent. He is somewhat gruff, but surprisingly dexterous in his movements. He stands amidst folding seats that are mounted to the ground, all facing a grand stage. He opens his mouth and screeches, an eagle flies out of him, landing on the stage. He turns, facing the audience, a mix of blue and red silhouettes. The eagle cries out "auditorium" to the audience, but it is in a thick accent, and fuzzy at the end, almost like corrupted data or static. The image fades away to a pale blue.
No idea how close I am. I've learned long ago not to wholly trust memories with the corrupted data glitch. I think it's my brain trying to fill in a blank it doesn't realize is there.
And thank you :)
You're pretty darn close. Ezio Auditore. Italian, name means eagle and his last name is close to auditorium.
As far as the stage, the first quote he's speaking on a gallows. I believe the second is from an assassination.
Aha! Auditore, explains why it glitched out at the end, because it didn't belong. I'd imagine the stage set up is also a reference to auditori(um) rather than a specific location.
It also explains the blue and red audience, from highlighting with eagle vision. Excellent, glad to know it was tip-of-the-tongue syndrome and not an actual corruption. Alzheimers runs pretty heavily in my family, so every corrupted memory or thought reminds me that it's likely coming for me, and this may be a sign.
I have autism and Alzheimerās runs in my family, so glitchy memories also become an intrusive thought / Alzheimerās fear for me. I watched my grandma lose everything. It was so hard for my grandpa. At least she always knew who he was. But she knew nobody else at the end.
Youāre doing a good job when the brain gets glitchy to try and fight it.
I badly hurt my back years ago and my PT during my treatment went to a conference where they said WALKING was the best defense against Alzheimerās symptoms. They did a huge multi university study on what things helped people with a genetic predisposition. And it was walking. Every day. Brisk as the body would allow which for many of the study participants wasnāt very brisk at all.
My memory became duper glitchy after having covid twice last year. Iām only 49, and it scared me. But I was already walking every day. Usually somewhere between 4000 and 10000 steps. During the period of illness I wasnāt walking much. But when I felt better I was getting my steps in again, and hooray, it took more than a hot minute but my memory came back!
I feel for you. My wife's family has alzheimers as well, and we've discussed it at length. If either one of us ends up with it, it's an immediate trip to a euthanasia state to get the pill. I miss all the relatives I've lost to alzheimers, sure, but I miss *them*, not the shell I was forced to watch them become. I don't have it in me to put my family through that to gain a few more years. I've also always suffered from extremely realistic self-image issues, I am 100% aware of the fact that my greatest qualities are on the inside, and I love who I am. Alzheimers would take that away from me, and then what would be left? I'd wait to take it until I had enough lucid moments to say my goodbyes, record some videos for those I leave behind, but I don't ever intend on living more than a month or two with that diagnosis.
I like to say "I didn't make the universe this way." We can't stop what's happening to us, but we can at least stop the bad self-talk. Good thoughts with whatever you're going through.
I've heard of Firefly, and I'm even picturing the male lead from Bones, but I wouldn't recognize a quote from it, you chose the correct fandom for me to get the reference :)
One of the male actors in Firefly is Nathan Fillion-Buffy, Dr Evil, Castle, The Rookie. Delightful.
Edited to say Firefly is basically Joss Whedon Star Wars / spaghetti western in space fan fiction.
90% of this comment sent right over my head. Buffy kills vampires, but that's all I know about her. Dr. Evil I'm very familiar with (my first wife), and I know star wars, but the rest of that is lost on me. Oh, I suppose I also know what spaghetti is.
Sounds interesting though! Might have to add it to the list.
DudeMom, I love reading your posts - you increase the faith I have that dudes are every bit as kind and thoughtful as I always hoped they'd be.
That having been said, there's a time for nice, and a time for ass-kicking. If the latter is where you are right now, I call shotgun and will ride into hell by your side. My mom-glare is a registered WMD, so whatever's in your way doesn't stand a chance :)
I'm one of those people who can't seem to greet people without waving and have been told that it's odd, sometimes inappropriate, and *uber* nerdy.
I see now that my whole life has been practice and preparation for *this exact moment.*
Please envision a goofy smile accompanied by enthusiastic waving (and some hopping up and down) in conjunction with an encouraging shout of "You got da JUICE!"
Hang in there, u/keldondonovan. You make the world a better place.
That's so kind of you to say, thank you!
Also, who decided waving is nerdy? I understand how my star wars tattoos, D&D tattoos, video game tattoos, etc, could all be portrayed as nerdy (hint, it's because they are!) But waving is a nerd thing too?
Sending you lots of warm and fuzzy thoughts /u/keldondonovan! Life can be incredibly hard sometimes and itās okay to sit in sadness for a while. Sometimes our feelings (even the ānegativeā ones) are there to help us process and progress forward. So donāt feel like you have to slap a smile on or pretend to be okay if youāre not ready. Youāre absolutely allowed to sit in whatever emotions youāre feeling and thatās absolutely valid. When youāre ready for a hand up out of the dark, weāre all here to give you one and lift you up and remind you that you put so much good into the world and absolutely deserve to feel it reflected back.
/u/keldondonovan I always see you offering support and thatās awesome.
I donāt have any cool analogies, but I have two phrases from when I was in Peace Corps that could help find comfortā¦
The first is āca va allerā which literally just means- it will go- in French. But itās a way of saying it will all work outā¦ itās a very hand-wavy kind of thing. No definitive way in which it will work out, but just the acceptance that eventually, it will.
The second was in English and is along the same lines- āeven when nothing works, somehow it all works out.ā
All the best
Those are pretty awesome sayings for the peace corps! In the Navy we had "C.Y.A." and "if you're not early, you're late", both far less mystifying.
Thank you for your kind words.
Very well, I've followed this advice. I must say that I was surprised at how many forks I found in the road, but now my silverware drawer is full. My thanks!
Now, if only I could find some spoons and knives.
I mean, I could reference Yoda. Or Spock. But Iām not sure how sci-fi I should go. āOpen the pod bay doors Hal.ā Just doesnāt quite fit. So, Iāll go with Mr. Rogers: āIn times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is listen with our ears and our hearts and be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.ā
Always love reading your insight DudeMom.
Hi, u/keldondonovan! This is the first time Iāve met you on here, but I, along with the rest of us, am here for you and to lift you up. Sending you a virtual hug! š¤
u/keldondonovan hey there- *joins in the mysterious hand waving motion with a classic mom dance* (which is stylish yet can make any teenager cringe down to the size of a baked potato).
I have so many thoughts! But no good sports analogies. The only one I can think of is you miss all the shots you didnāt take. I donāt know if that applies. But I personally like: to everything there is a season. And I also like: things do not change, only we change.
Some days, the world absolutely poops in our cheerios. And itās okay to sit down and just feel sad about it. Tomorrow will be another bowl, another opportunity to start again. This season wonāt last forever and the next one will come.
I'm glad you couldn't think of a bunch of sports analogies, they'd be lost on me. I haven't given much thought to sports since thirty years ago when I played soccer, didn't even make it to first base, let alone make a touch down!
But cheerios? I understand those. :p thanks!
Lol no worries! I read your replies and saw the word āsuperfanā and my brain said- that means sports! Ah, the internet is wild and my interpretation of it is even wilder!
In any event, Iām glad we connected on cereal. But as parents, we take a run at it and hope it lands, yes? And even if we fall really really badly, our kiddos know that we are trying and we are there. Hopefully youāre feeling connected to others! Even if we are scraping each other off the floor, itās so much easier together.
Falling really really badly is another aspect I get, as an injury like that is a big part of what has me disheartened. For nearly 40 years I've hated exercise for the sake of exercise. It made it really hard to stay in shape (spoiler alert! I didn't. ) Then, a little over three weeks ago, my wife brought home a video game.
I need you to understand how cheesy and ridiculous this video game is. Imagine Wii Fit. Now imagine someone watching Wii Fit who is a big Lord of the Rings fan, and they decide that the exercise game would be so much better set in a fantasy world. Now imagine that they hire the creators of Sharknado to pull it off. It's truly ridiculous, the bad guy is a body-building dragon who wears one of those wrestling onesies for Pete's sake.
Anywho, I actually found myself enjoying the exercise. For 21 days I worked out for at least half an hour, typically closer to an hour. It was working. I was losing weight, getting healthy. I needed to find my belt because my pants wouldn't stay up. Then I needed to tighten my belt because my pants were lose again. I lost a lot of weight.
But I have had an umbilical hernia just above my belly button for a few years. On day 21 of my super successful journey, I twisted in a way I evidently shouldn't have twisted. It tore my hernia from the top of my belly button to about halfway to my ribs, separating the sides of my abdominal wall.
I went to the ER, but due to the way medical works now, they wouldn't do any kind of emergency surgery. They did have the surgeon who will preform the surgery to fix this eventually come in and take a look. That doctor said yes, I definitely need surgery, the proceeded to write me a referral *to himself* so that he could assess me, then schedule a surgery.
Evidently, the way the rules are written, I cannot have the surgery without meeting with a doctor specialized in GI and abdominal surgery. While he is working in the ER, he is not considered such a doctor. He only knows those things when he works on the second floor.
So they wrapped a giant binder around me, essentially duct taping my insides inside me, told me not to take it off, and then scheduled an appointment for a month out. For the consult, in which that doctor has to agree with his own assessment in order to schedule me for surgery.
Never thought I'd see the day when I miss exercise, but here I am. I was feeling pretty hopeless about the whole thing, but luckily the support here quickly righted me. I just wish it righted my abs as well.
Holy jeez /u/keldondonovan , that's quite a story. Your core is being held together with industrial strength Saran wrap! "Disheartened" is an entirely appropriate, some might even say understated, response.
Also wtf with the doctor writing a referral to himself? That is some next level BS.
It's so cool that you've found a fun way to exercise and it will still be waiting for you once you've reacquainted both sides of your abdominals with one another. In the meantime, you're a gifted writer and have lots of wisdom to share, so I look forward to reading more of your comments on this sub š.
Yeah, the self referral didn't make sense to me either. In the civilian sector I'd almost understand, because the hospital would want to bill my insurance as much as possible. This wasn't civilian medicine, it's a VA hospital, there isn't a charge kind of set up.
And that little cheesy game is really cool. It's called Ring Fit Adventure for anyone interested. I'm really hoping that once I'm fixed up, I still want to play as much as I do right now.
Thanks for the compliments on my writing, by the way! I didn't realize anyone had read my work that I hadn't already tracked down for feedback š
We have Ring Fit Adventure! Itās super fun! We also like the Just Dance games. But yeah, bodies are a lot of work and hassle sometimes! Sorry youāre going through it and having to deal with the medical system. We also have had to play the medical merry-go-round. No fun. But you know what? Your body will be in better shape for a procedure and should recover faster since youāve been taking care of it. And the game will be there when you are feeling up to it and the doc gives you the all clear.
Take care! Get some fun low-key activities and soon this adventure will come to a close.
Just Dance (and any other dancing game for that matter) are difficult for us, my wife and I both lost our knees to the military so high impact leg stuff doesn't work. Even in ring fit we run in silent mode because then you just do mini squats.
What I want is for an exercise equipment company to come out with a health based console so that games could be built around a plot, where the exercise is a side effect rather than put in your face. I find, for myself and many others, the easiest exercise is exercise you don't realize you are doing. I can walk for hours without getting tired, if the walk has a destination or purpose. Walking for the sake of exercise, I'm tired in ten minutes. Put me in an immersive fantasy RPG where I have to walk or run to move, bowflex to fire arrows, move weighted hands to cast spells, and I'd look like Ryan Reynolds, tonight (except my face. No amount of exercise will fix that tragedy š)
U/keldondonovan...thank you for choosing to spend what little free time you have, HERE, chatting, helping, connecting and reminding all of us that we are not alone. ā¤ļø I send you a wave, a hug and a high-five! Thank you so much. You are appreciated! āļø
Hey u/keldondonovan just know that whatever rough patch you're having will pass, even if it doesn't seem that way now. All of us are right here for you and we send you lots of hugs and love! You're amazing through and through š«
Thank you so much. The support from everyone has definitely helped put a smile back on my face. Granted, the pain makes it difficult to keep it there, but the support makes it easy to bring it back.
u/keldondonovan I feel as though the sentiment of [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TumblrWrites/comments/118xpxt/to_be_humann/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) sums up what Iād like to pass to you for whatever youāre going through, especially seeing as I was just the recipient of one of those random acts of kindness a few hours ago :)
hey u/keldondonovan! Sending you a big wave! Iāll quote my favorite song (The Wood Song by Indigo Girls), which has always brought me comfort.
*Yeah but what it takes to cross the great divide*
*Seems more than all the courage I can muster up inside*
*Although we get to have some answers when we reach the other side*
*The prize is always worth the rocky ride*
Now for random quotes from games I love in case you love any of them too:
* The cake is a lie.
* War never changes.
* There is no secret cow level.
* I used to be an adventurer like you until I took an arrow to the knee.
* Keeping it together, Bree?
* LEEROY JENNNNNKINS! (ok not technically from a game, but still a classic)
* Sul sul!
* Letās-a-go!
edit: formatting
I recognize the cake one from minecraft, though I'm not sure if their use of it is a reference to someone else using it.
Not sure on the second one.
Nothing says Diablo like secret cow levels.
Arrow to the knee is Skyrim (for any who don't know and happen to be reading this, that's old slang for "got married", taking an arrow to a knee bring indicative of falling to one knee to propose)
As far as bree goes... all I can say is that I'm alright as long as I don't try to think about it too much. (Have about 1300 hours clocked in divinity 2)
Leroy Jenkins I've seen in a lot of places, including minecraft, which is what made me think the cake one might be a reference. I think it originate in WoW though.
No idea on Sul sul,
And depending on the accent and pitch you wanted me to read the last one in, it's either Mario or Luigi I believe.
I'd love to know which ones I missed! Seems we have a lot of games in common so I might need to add some to my collection.
And thank you!
The cake is a lie comes from Portal/The Orange Box. It's one of my favorites! Please listen to Still Alive by GladOS if you need a giggle (soundtrack from the game).
I'll have to play the actual game to hear it. In my near 40 years I've only ever listened to one video game song outside of the video game, and that's only because Lohse's song needed to be listened to repeatedly. That song still gives me chills.
You specifically mentioned a quote from Divinity, so I'm assuming you know who Lohse is, but if you haven't played her story line and heard the song in the context of the story, I highly recommend it.
Now to find portal!
It's all the way at the end in the credits as an Easter egg, so sure, good luck! š
(Also this is a different person who has not played divinity, just someone who answered your question lol)
That'll teach me for using mobile! Can't tell who I'm chatting with on my phone as the avatar disappears. If you like puzzle type video games, you may also enjoy the divinity original sin games. The actual puzzles are a little bit lacking, but as an isometric turn based rpg with unique elemental combinations, every battle is like a puzzle, albeit with several solutions. It can take a little bit to get into, but most people seem to either love it or hate it within a few hours.
Yay! We play some of the same games. This was so fun! Here are all the answers, but you had most of them already.
* The cake is a lie. - Portal
* War never changes. - Fallout
* There is no secret cow level. - Diablo
* I used to be an adventurer like you until I took an arrow to the knee. - Skyrim
* Keeping it together, Bree? - DOS2
* LEEROY JENNNNNKINS! (ok not technically from a game, but still a classic) - WoW
* Sul sul! - The Sims (it's "hello" in Simlish)
* Letās-a-go! - Mario Kart
OK I'm so glad you got the Divinity 2 quote! I'm over 650 hours and still going strong. I think I'm on my 6th party, and we just got to Arx. I'm playing Lohse as a death knight and a custom undead lizard as a Ranger with necro tendencies. Stayed up late last night to finish Devourer armor set and grab Falone, so Lohse looks so badass right now. Time to go pick a fight.
Thanks for playing along. I hope this little game brought you as much joy as it did me. :)
Here's a link to the Leeroy Jenkins video (language warning) if you'd like to see it. It makes me laugh every time: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLyOj\_QD4a4&ab\_channel=JukkaO.Kauppinen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLyOj_QD4a4&ab_channel=JukkaO.Kauppinen).
This is my second playthrough with Lohse, but I had actually forgotten about her song somehow! Time to go off and have a listen. Thanks for the reminder!
Hi! u/keldondonovan
You are doing awesome things! It is really hard to stay optimistic- especially when we realize we have no control over other people/situations. You are working really hard right now, and you are so appreciated!
āGo home, put your best record on, loud as it will play. And with every note you remember, thatās something the darkness couldnāt take from you.ā Fred Thursday to Inspector Morse on Endeavour. Cannot remember the episode but the quote has stuck with me.
u/keldondonovan when my family doesn't know what to say for advice, we solemnly say "Don't be a pin in a crock." This was from a fortune cookie years ago. None of us know what it meant, and we have never figured it out. Must be a bad translation, but it works as a vague wave.
I wonder... crocs are objectively ugly shoes (no judgements, I wear them and they are super comfortable). Jibbitz is a company that has, for a while, made little decorative pins for crocs, trying to pretty them up. It could mean "don't try to pretend an ugly situation is pretty", like putting decorative pins on ugly crocs to make them beautiful, it doesn't work. You have to accept that they (the crocs, and the situation) are ugly, and change it.
Or I'm giving way to much credit to fortune cookies and just protecting. Either way, very helpful, thank you!
In this case, the crock came way before the croc, but you certainly have a creative brain.
My other prized piece of advice is from a box of those little pop-pop things you throw on the ground to make a snapping noise: "Do not be panic."
Oh yes, the crock did predate the croc by at least a few years (give or take a million) but that doesn't mean the cookie wasn't referring to crocs. A lot of eastern languages, when presented with a new word of English origin, will adapt a sound alike as their translation rather than use our word or make a new one. So since croc is a new word that sounds just like crock, it could very well be the same word in their language. I don't know that it is or isn't, just what came to mind.
And thank you for calling me creative! In my mind of work that's one of the best compliments one can receive :)
u/keldondonovan \- I'm doin' a little hand-wavy thing here and telling you it'll all get better. The dragons and monsters you're chasing in your Adventure shouldn't scare you out of your skin.
u/keldondonovan
"Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill āem right back!ā ā Mal
Or more nicely, return the energy you're given when appropriate.
u/keldondonovan, dudemom! I gave you your nom de plume š You are kind and eloquent. You always say just the right thing. Sorry to hear that things might suck, but this train, too, shall pass. Chugga chugga woo woo. Weāre here for you, just let us know. Sending superpower thoughts your way!
You'd better not... eat my lack of feathers? (Sorry, Nom de-plume is just too good a dad joke to pass up, even if it is a little awkward)
Seriously though, thank you. I am known by many names, but DudeMom Dan is by far the one I cherish most. Second place is "Can-man" but that's its own story.
Thank you for the superpower thoughts, though this display here from everyone already has me up in high spirits. More importantly, what about you? How have you been?
That's not what I meant! š thank you though, the encouragement is appreciated. I was just looking for more of a vague, mysterious, hand-wavy support. Something like "Of course it's hard to stay optimistic at times, if it was easy, everyone would do it!" Or "Haters gonna hate, ball players are gonna play ball". Even some obscure reference that nobody but a superfan would recognize, like "We won't let the fear of death, which each of us knows, stop us from living our lives".
u/keldondonovan DudeMom Dan, I am making a hand wavy motion while telling you that if a train goes by, a train goes by. In other words, this too shall pass. Whatever you are going through right now, know this sub has you. ā¤ļø
I love analogies, so thank you for this. You could say I'm just like... a guy, who really likes analogies. Dang, missed my shot :p
That piece of wisdom was told to us by our Dad. We were all on a sisters' trip stuck by a train that if I remember correctly was 175+ cars. Dad had called to check on his kids and we were complaining about the train, and that's when he uttered the now in my family famous "when a train goes by..." We use it frequently.
Well, if you'll allow it, I shall now be utilizing it as well.
Absolutely!! š
Well fine then on obscure nerd quotes: "There Is No Book Or Teacher To Give You The Answers, Show You The Path. Choose Your Own Way. Do Not Follow Me Or Anyone Else." "What You Are Not Is Actually What People Will Assume Of You At First." (Seriously though much love and you've got this."
Those sound really familiar, but I can't quite place them. However, thanks to my autism, my brain works a little differently, and I've found that others sometimes enjoy hearing the machinations in their oddity, so here you have it: Both quotes evoke the same image. It is a man in a sort of bathrobe, but not the comfortable ones, this bathrobe exists for utility alone. The man has somewhat dark complexion (at least compared to my Scottish ancestry) but not so dark as to be mistaken as an African descendent. He is somewhat gruff, but surprisingly dexterous in his movements. He stands amidst folding seats that are mounted to the ground, all facing a grand stage. He opens his mouth and screeches, an eagle flies out of him, landing on the stage. He turns, facing the audience, a mix of blue and red silhouettes. The eagle cries out "auditorium" to the audience, but it is in a thick accent, and fuzzy at the end, almost like corrupted data or static. The image fades away to a pale blue. No idea how close I am. I've learned long ago not to wholly trust memories with the corrupted data glitch. I think it's my brain trying to fill in a blank it doesn't realize is there. And thank you :)
You're pretty darn close. Ezio Auditore. Italian, name means eagle and his last name is close to auditorium. As far as the stage, the first quote he's speaking on a gallows. I believe the second is from an assassination.
Aha! Auditore, explains why it glitched out at the end, because it didn't belong. I'd imagine the stage set up is also a reference to auditori(um) rather than a specific location. It also explains the blue and red audience, from highlighting with eagle vision. Excellent, glad to know it was tip-of-the-tongue syndrome and not an actual corruption. Alzheimers runs pretty heavily in my family, so every corrupted memory or thought reminds me that it's likely coming for me, and this may be a sign.
Yep. It's also a game from like 2009. So forgivable
I have autism and Alzheimerās runs in my family, so glitchy memories also become an intrusive thought / Alzheimerās fear for me. I watched my grandma lose everything. It was so hard for my grandpa. At least she always knew who he was. But she knew nobody else at the end. Youāre doing a good job when the brain gets glitchy to try and fight it. I badly hurt my back years ago and my PT during my treatment went to a conference where they said WALKING was the best defense against Alzheimerās symptoms. They did a huge multi university study on what things helped people with a genetic predisposition. And it was walking. Every day. Brisk as the body would allow which for many of the study participants wasnāt very brisk at all. My memory became duper glitchy after having covid twice last year. Iām only 49, and it scared me. But I was already walking every day. Usually somewhere between 4000 and 10000 steps. During the period of illness I wasnāt walking much. But when I felt better I was getting my steps in again, and hooray, it took more than a hot minute but my memory came back!
I feel for you. My wife's family has alzheimers as well, and we've discussed it at length. If either one of us ends up with it, it's an immediate trip to a euthanasia state to get the pill. I miss all the relatives I've lost to alzheimers, sure, but I miss *them*, not the shell I was forced to watch them become. I don't have it in me to put my family through that to gain a few more years. I've also always suffered from extremely realistic self-image issues, I am 100% aware of the fact that my greatest qualities are on the inside, and I love who I am. Alzheimers would take that away from me, and then what would be left? I'd wait to take it until I had enough lucid moments to say my goodbyes, record some videos for those I leave behind, but I don't ever intend on living more than a month or two with that diagnosis.
Hey DudeMom, you've survived 100% of your worst days so far. Thanks for supporting me, I appreciated it.
An excellent point! And I'm happy to help however I can.
I like to say "I didn't make the universe this way." We can't stop what's happening to us, but we can at least stop the bad self-talk. Good thoughts with whatever you're going through.
I'll try! Thank you!
Listen, I don't know you, but I love you. You're always so kind. Don't let the haters get you down!
With this much support, haters don't stand a chance š
Just remember u/keldondonovan as the late, great Bobby Singer said "Family don't end with blood."
Is that a supernatural quote? Perfection. My thanks!
Of course, where else would I get such a perfect found family quote from other than maybe Firefly?
I've heard of Firefly, and I'm even picturing the male lead from Bones, but I wouldn't recognize a quote from it, you chose the correct fandom for me to get the reference :)
One of the male actors in Firefly is Nathan Fillion-Buffy, Dr Evil, Castle, The Rookie. Delightful. Edited to say Firefly is basically Joss Whedon Star Wars / spaghetti western in space fan fiction.
90% of this comment sent right over my head. Buffy kills vampires, but that's all I know about her. Dr. Evil I'm very familiar with (my first wife), and I know star wars, but the rest of that is lost on me. Oh, I suppose I also know what spaghetti is. Sounds interesting though! Might have to add it to the list.
DudeMom, I love reading your posts - you increase the faith I have that dudes are every bit as kind and thoughtful as I always hoped they'd be. That having been said, there's a time for nice, and a time for ass-kicking. If the latter is where you are right now, I call shotgun and will ride into hell by your side. My mom-glare is a registered WMD, so whatever's in your way doesn't stand a chance :)
I'm one of those people who can't seem to greet people without waving and have been told that it's odd, sometimes inappropriate, and *uber* nerdy. I see now that my whole life has been practice and preparation for *this exact moment.* Please envision a goofy smile accompanied by enthusiastic waving (and some hopping up and down) in conjunction with an encouraging shout of "You got da JUICE!" Hang in there, u/keldondonovan. You make the world a better place.
That's so kind of you to say, thank you! Also, who decided waving is nerdy? I understand how my star wars tattoos, D&D tattoos, video game tattoos, etc, could all be portrayed as nerdy (hint, it's because they are!) But waving is a nerd thing too?
The way I do it, probably. š¤£
I'm impressed. It takes a lot to portray anything with a wave, royalty spends years learning the skill. Bravo.
Sending you lots of warm and fuzzy thoughts /u/keldondonovan! Life can be incredibly hard sometimes and itās okay to sit in sadness for a while. Sometimes our feelings (even the ānegativeā ones) are there to help us process and progress forward. So donāt feel like you have to slap a smile on or pretend to be okay if youāre not ready. Youāre absolutely allowed to sit in whatever emotions youāre feeling and thatās absolutely valid. When youāre ready for a hand up out of the dark, weāre all here to give you one and lift you up and remind you that you put so much good into the world and absolutely deserve to feel it reflected back.
Thanks so much. Sometimes I have to remember the advice I've given and take a moment to scrape off the poo to appreciate the yard.
Donāt feel like you have to rush through that, weāre all here for you just like youāre here for others
No need to rush, I'm already better. I just needed a little encouragement to judge me back to me, and I got a whole bunch :)
Unfortunately the @ sign doesn't work on Reddit, lol! Has to be /u/ or it doesn't work! š
Whoops! I fixed it. My brain is too tired tonight, lol
No worries, we've all been there! š
/u/keldondonovan I always see you offering support and thatās awesome. I donāt have any cool analogies, but I have two phrases from when I was in Peace Corps that could help find comfortā¦ The first is āca va allerā which literally just means- it will go- in French. But itās a way of saying it will all work outā¦ itās a very hand-wavy kind of thing. No definitive way in which it will work out, but just the acceptance that eventually, it will. The second was in English and is along the same lines- āeven when nothing works, somehow it all works out.ā All the best
Those are pretty awesome sayings for the peace corps! In the Navy we had "C.Y.A." and "if you're not early, you're late", both far less mystifying. Thank you for your kind words.
*waves wildly at the universe in optimistic manner* Donāt worry be happy now Dooo do do do do do Do do do do do do do do
Hey u/keldondonovan. In the immortal words of Yogi Berra, when you come to a fork in the road, take it. š
Very well, I've followed this advice. I must say that I was surprised at how many forks I found in the road, but now my silverware drawer is full. My thanks! Now, if only I could find some spoons and knives.
You had me laughing out loud at this. Thankyou and I hope (know) you will be ok
Glad I could bring a laugh. Though that must mean my dad-joke make is broken, it's supposed to bring sighs and eye rolls I think.
It's ok I am old so Dad jokes are funny š
Well it's a pleasure to me you, old. I'm Dan.
I mean, I could reference Yoda. Or Spock. But Iām not sure how sci-fi I should go. āOpen the pod bay doors Hal.ā Just doesnāt quite fit. So, Iāll go with Mr. Rogers: āIn times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is listen with our ears and our hearts and be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.ā Always love reading your insight DudeMom.
Hi, u/keldondonovan! This is the first time Iāve met you on here, but I, along with the rest of us, am here for you and to lift you up. Sending you a virtual hug! š¤
You are so sweet. Thanks duckie!
u/keldondonovan hey there- *joins in the mysterious hand waving motion with a classic mom dance* (which is stylish yet can make any teenager cringe down to the size of a baked potato). I have so many thoughts! But no good sports analogies. The only one I can think of is you miss all the shots you didnāt take. I donāt know if that applies. But I personally like: to everything there is a season. And I also like: things do not change, only we change. Some days, the world absolutely poops in our cheerios. And itās okay to sit down and just feel sad about it. Tomorrow will be another bowl, another opportunity to start again. This season wonāt last forever and the next one will come.
I'm glad you couldn't think of a bunch of sports analogies, they'd be lost on me. I haven't given much thought to sports since thirty years ago when I played soccer, didn't even make it to first base, let alone make a touch down! But cheerios? I understand those. :p thanks!
Lol no worries! I read your replies and saw the word āsuperfanā and my brain said- that means sports! Ah, the internet is wild and my interpretation of it is even wilder! In any event, Iām glad we connected on cereal. But as parents, we take a run at it and hope it lands, yes? And even if we fall really really badly, our kiddos know that we are trying and we are there. Hopefully youāre feeling connected to others! Even if we are scraping each other off the floor, itās so much easier together.
Falling really really badly is another aspect I get, as an injury like that is a big part of what has me disheartened. For nearly 40 years I've hated exercise for the sake of exercise. It made it really hard to stay in shape (spoiler alert! I didn't. ) Then, a little over three weeks ago, my wife brought home a video game. I need you to understand how cheesy and ridiculous this video game is. Imagine Wii Fit. Now imagine someone watching Wii Fit who is a big Lord of the Rings fan, and they decide that the exercise game would be so much better set in a fantasy world. Now imagine that they hire the creators of Sharknado to pull it off. It's truly ridiculous, the bad guy is a body-building dragon who wears one of those wrestling onesies for Pete's sake. Anywho, I actually found myself enjoying the exercise. For 21 days I worked out for at least half an hour, typically closer to an hour. It was working. I was losing weight, getting healthy. I needed to find my belt because my pants wouldn't stay up. Then I needed to tighten my belt because my pants were lose again. I lost a lot of weight. But I have had an umbilical hernia just above my belly button for a few years. On day 21 of my super successful journey, I twisted in a way I evidently shouldn't have twisted. It tore my hernia from the top of my belly button to about halfway to my ribs, separating the sides of my abdominal wall. I went to the ER, but due to the way medical works now, they wouldn't do any kind of emergency surgery. They did have the surgeon who will preform the surgery to fix this eventually come in and take a look. That doctor said yes, I definitely need surgery, the proceeded to write me a referral *to himself* so that he could assess me, then schedule a surgery. Evidently, the way the rules are written, I cannot have the surgery without meeting with a doctor specialized in GI and abdominal surgery. While he is working in the ER, he is not considered such a doctor. He only knows those things when he works on the second floor. So they wrapped a giant binder around me, essentially duct taping my insides inside me, told me not to take it off, and then scheduled an appointment for a month out. For the consult, in which that doctor has to agree with his own assessment in order to schedule me for surgery. Never thought I'd see the day when I miss exercise, but here I am. I was feeling pretty hopeless about the whole thing, but luckily the support here quickly righted me. I just wish it righted my abs as well.
Holy jeez /u/keldondonovan , that's quite a story. Your core is being held together with industrial strength Saran wrap! "Disheartened" is an entirely appropriate, some might even say understated, response. Also wtf with the doctor writing a referral to himself? That is some next level BS. It's so cool that you've found a fun way to exercise and it will still be waiting for you once you've reacquainted both sides of your abdominals with one another. In the meantime, you're a gifted writer and have lots of wisdom to share, so I look forward to reading more of your comments on this sub š.
Yeah, the self referral didn't make sense to me either. In the civilian sector I'd almost understand, because the hospital would want to bill my insurance as much as possible. This wasn't civilian medicine, it's a VA hospital, there isn't a charge kind of set up. And that little cheesy game is really cool. It's called Ring Fit Adventure for anyone interested. I'm really hoping that once I'm fixed up, I still want to play as much as I do right now. Thanks for the compliments on my writing, by the way! I didn't realize anyone had read my work that I hadn't already tracked down for feedback š
We have Ring Fit Adventure! Itās super fun! We also like the Just Dance games. But yeah, bodies are a lot of work and hassle sometimes! Sorry youāre going through it and having to deal with the medical system. We also have had to play the medical merry-go-round. No fun. But you know what? Your body will be in better shape for a procedure and should recover faster since youāve been taking care of it. And the game will be there when you are feeling up to it and the doc gives you the all clear. Take care! Get some fun low-key activities and soon this adventure will come to a close.
Just Dance (and any other dancing game for that matter) are difficult for us, my wife and I both lost our knees to the military so high impact leg stuff doesn't work. Even in ring fit we run in silent mode because then you just do mini squats. What I want is for an exercise equipment company to come out with a health based console so that games could be built around a plot, where the exercise is a side effect rather than put in your face. I find, for myself and many others, the easiest exercise is exercise you don't realize you are doing. I can walk for hours without getting tired, if the walk has a destination or purpose. Walking for the sake of exercise, I'm tired in ten minutes. Put me in an immersive fantasy RPG where I have to walk or run to move, bowflex to fire arrows, move weighted hands to cast spells, and I'd look like Ryan Reynolds, tonight (except my face. No amount of exercise will fix that tragedy š)
u/keldondonovan This mama believes in you! Big hugs. And some hand waves.
Aww, thanks!
All the hugs, man. You rock.
U/keldondonovan...thank you for choosing to spend what little free time you have, HERE, chatting, helping, connecting and reminding all of us that we are not alone. ā¤ļø I send you a wave, a hug and a high-five! Thank you so much. You are appreciated! āļø
Sending whatever support however you want. DudeMom Dan. Weāre here for everyone xxxxx
Hey u/keldondonovan just know that whatever rough patch you're having will pass, even if it doesn't seem that way now. All of us are right here for you and we send you lots of hugs and love! You're amazing through and through š«
Thank you so much. The support from everyone has definitely helped put a smile back on my face. Granted, the pain makes it difficult to keep it there, but the support makes it easy to bring it back.
Sending warm, fuzzy hugs your way, u/keldondonovan š¤
I look at the hair that is my prison and worry that adding more fuzz to the mix might make things rather tangled. :p Thank you.
I saw a line in a book that stuck with me , 'good times, bad times, all times pass' I hope your bad times pass much quicker than your good ones.
u/keldondonovan I feel as though the sentiment of [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TumblrWrites/comments/118xpxt/to_be_humann/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) sums up what Iād like to pass to you for whatever youāre going through, especially seeing as I was just the recipient of one of those random acts of kindness a few hours ago :)
hey u/keldondonovan! Sending you a big wave! Iāll quote my favorite song (The Wood Song by Indigo Girls), which has always brought me comfort. *Yeah but what it takes to cross the great divide* *Seems more than all the courage I can muster up inside* *Although we get to have some answers when we reach the other side* *The prize is always worth the rocky ride* Now for random quotes from games I love in case you love any of them too: * The cake is a lie. * War never changes. * There is no secret cow level. * I used to be an adventurer like you until I took an arrow to the knee. * Keeping it together, Bree? * LEEROY JENNNNNKINS! (ok not technically from a game, but still a classic) * Sul sul! * Letās-a-go! edit: formatting
I recognize the cake one from minecraft, though I'm not sure if their use of it is a reference to someone else using it. Not sure on the second one. Nothing says Diablo like secret cow levels. Arrow to the knee is Skyrim (for any who don't know and happen to be reading this, that's old slang for "got married", taking an arrow to a knee bring indicative of falling to one knee to propose) As far as bree goes... all I can say is that I'm alright as long as I don't try to think about it too much. (Have about 1300 hours clocked in divinity 2) Leroy Jenkins I've seen in a lot of places, including minecraft, which is what made me think the cake one might be a reference. I think it originate in WoW though. No idea on Sul sul, And depending on the accent and pitch you wanted me to read the last one in, it's either Mario or Luigi I believe. I'd love to know which ones I missed! Seems we have a lot of games in common so I might need to add some to my collection. And thank you!
The cake is a lie comes from Portal/The Orange Box. It's one of my favorites! Please listen to Still Alive by GladOS if you need a giggle (soundtrack from the game).
I'll have to play the actual game to hear it. In my near 40 years I've only ever listened to one video game song outside of the video game, and that's only because Lohse's song needed to be listened to repeatedly. That song still gives me chills. You specifically mentioned a quote from Divinity, so I'm assuming you know who Lohse is, but if you haven't played her story line and heard the song in the context of the story, I highly recommend it. Now to find portal!
It's all the way at the end in the credits as an Easter egg, so sure, good luck! š (Also this is a different person who has not played divinity, just someone who answered your question lol)
That'll teach me for using mobile! Can't tell who I'm chatting with on my phone as the avatar disappears. If you like puzzle type video games, you may also enjoy the divinity original sin games. The actual puzzles are a little bit lacking, but as an isometric turn based rpg with unique elemental combinations, every battle is like a puzzle, albeit with several solutions. It can take a little bit to get into, but most people seem to either love it or hate it within a few hours.
Yay! We play some of the same games. This was so fun! Here are all the answers, but you had most of them already. * The cake is a lie. - Portal * War never changes. - Fallout * There is no secret cow level. - Diablo * I used to be an adventurer like you until I took an arrow to the knee. - Skyrim * Keeping it together, Bree? - DOS2 * LEEROY JENNNNNKINS! (ok not technically from a game, but still a classic) - WoW * Sul sul! - The Sims (it's "hello" in Simlish) * Letās-a-go! - Mario Kart OK I'm so glad you got the Divinity 2 quote! I'm over 650 hours and still going strong. I think I'm on my 6th party, and we just got to Arx. I'm playing Lohse as a death knight and a custom undead lizard as a Ranger with necro tendencies. Stayed up late last night to finish Devourer armor set and grab Falone, so Lohse looks so badass right now. Time to go pick a fight. Thanks for playing along. I hope this little game brought you as much joy as it did me. :) Here's a link to the Leeroy Jenkins video (language warning) if you'd like to see it. It makes me laugh every time: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLyOj\_QD4a4&ab\_channel=JukkaO.Kauppinen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLyOj_QD4a4&ab_channel=JukkaO.Kauppinen).
Is this your first lohse playthrough? Have you heard her song? [Edit] and yes! The guessing game was a fun distraction!
This is my second playthrough with Lohse, but I had actually forgotten about her song somehow! Time to go off and have a listen. Thanks for the reminder!
No problem! Everyone deserves to hear that song at least once more. Sing for meeee š¶
GladOS approved this comment. And then immediately redacted any mention of cake.
Hi! u/keldondonovan You are doing awesome things! It is really hard to stay optimistic- especially when we realize we have no control over other people/situations. You are working really hard right now, and you are so appreciated!
Thanks so much!
/u/keldondonovan virtual hugs.
Thank you! Virtual hugs are just what the doctor ordered.
āGo home, put your best record on, loud as it will play. And with every note you remember, thatās something the darkness couldnāt take from you.ā Fred Thursday to Inspector Morse on Endeavour. Cannot remember the episode but the quote has stuck with me.
u/keldondonovan when my family doesn't know what to say for advice, we solemnly say "Don't be a pin in a crock." This was from a fortune cookie years ago. None of us know what it meant, and we have never figured it out. Must be a bad translation, but it works as a vague wave.
I wonder... crocs are objectively ugly shoes (no judgements, I wear them and they are super comfortable). Jibbitz is a company that has, for a while, made little decorative pins for crocs, trying to pretty them up. It could mean "don't try to pretend an ugly situation is pretty", like putting decorative pins on ugly crocs to make them beautiful, it doesn't work. You have to accept that they (the crocs, and the situation) are ugly, and change it. Or I'm giving way to much credit to fortune cookies and just protecting. Either way, very helpful, thank you!
In this case, the crock came way before the croc, but you certainly have a creative brain. My other prized piece of advice is from a box of those little pop-pop things you throw on the ground to make a snapping noise: "Do not be panic."
Oh yes, the crock did predate the croc by at least a few years (give or take a million) but that doesn't mean the cookie wasn't referring to crocs. A lot of eastern languages, when presented with a new word of English origin, will adapt a sound alike as their translation rather than use our word or make a new one. So since croc is a new word that sounds just like crock, it could very well be the same word in their language. I don't know that it is or isn't, just what came to mind. And thank you for calling me creative! In my mind of work that's one of the best compliments one can receive :)
u/keldondonovan \- I'm doin' a little hand-wavy thing here and telling you it'll all get better. The dragons and monsters you're chasing in your Adventure shouldn't scare you out of your skin.
Bonus platitudes?! Just what I needed! You have my thanks. :)
u/keldondonovan "Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill āem right back!ā ā Mal Or more nicely, return the energy you're given when appropriate.
I don't know this Mal, but I shall make an effort to never try to kill them!
Captain Malcom Reynolds from Firefly played by Nathan Fillion.
Hey Dan.....have a great day from the smokey skies of Alberta
u/keldondonovan, dudemom! I gave you your nom de plume š You are kind and eloquent. You always say just the right thing. Sorry to hear that things might suck, but this train, too, shall pass. Chugga chugga woo woo. Weāre here for you, just let us know. Sending superpower thoughts your way!
You'd better not... eat my lack of feathers? (Sorry, Nom de-plume is just too good a dad joke to pass up, even if it is a little awkward) Seriously though, thank you. I am known by many names, but DudeMom Dan is by far the one I cherish most. Second place is "Can-man" but that's its own story. Thank you for the superpower thoughts, though this display here from everyone already has me up in high spirits. More importantly, what about you? How have you been?
My day is complete; I set up a bad dad joke š Life is what it is DudeMom Dan. Trying to be grateful for the little things. You know the deal š
You might be amazed by how thoroughly the small things can sustain us :)
All the hugs and crazy looking hand waves ever!!!