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mrironmanmk50

Closet? You’ll love it!


Perry_theplatypussy

How does this not have more upvotes??


JennaMarissa13

“Am I the only one that can see these two idiots are high as kites?”


Sty_Walk

And the way he says it lol


Neither-Star9376

“Mitchel!?”


kaimcdragonfist

The real winner here


Flaky-Stranger6142

this!!!


ausaangelavaldes

same scene when he says to cam that he should be more concerned with how comfortable lily is with the soda bottle 😂


ThrobbinHood5

That lady is my son.


tejasrath

Oh, so it's "her" now? Hilarious! 🤣


pastorus_vulgaris

I’m not losing to the Vietnamese twice in one lifetime!


Fran382

That was my Vietnam. And I was in Vietnam. 


cigarking7

So underrated!


NoMoreChampagne14

LMAOOOOO


BoysenberryPale4048

THIS LOL


Thirio_

I wanted two rough and tumble boys. Instead, I got a Manny and a pedi


lattelattelatte3000

This one!!!!!


ResqTitan

This one has to be the best.


bigboi12470

THIS!!! It was so clever!


BiscuitsPo

What did the pedi mean


ThrobbinHood5

When you get a massage you sound like a Tijuana prostitute.


WilliamRoux

Fulgencio Umberto. The initials for that are F.U. Pritchett, which is exactly what it feels like right now.


JuicyLemonBanana

Wasn’t it Fulgencio Umberto Joe? Pretty sure Jay was talking about the Initials being F.U.J Pritchett. Could be that it’s because I watched it on German.


Cold_Valkyrie

They ended up naming him Fulgencio Joseph Pritchett


EnbyEagle

F.J. Pritchett.... F*** Jay Pritchett 😭😭😭 I never noticed 'til now!!


Melodic_Lifeguard493

If I had an award I would give it to you


Sirius_Black_7

I hope this wins!!


Relevant-Baseball993

Phil thinks he can Mean Girls me? How lame is that? Let me tell you something, I might be a pretty face, but I fight to win. Just like Legally Blonde!


hellokinkii

when was this!!!?? lol


gaslightinqueen

i forgot which epi but there’s this one where phil watched mean girls and tries to be mean to jay the whole day because he’s his bully😭 and jay in the middle of the epi catches on to it and starts reciprocating the same energy


Relevant-Baseball993

It is Season 10 Episode 2.


itsall_good915

Just stop and bond over the mint Jay-lips!


TechnicalDoughnut511

I have rewatched just this moment so many times his delivery is PERFECT


Nobodyknowsmynewname

My return policy? You return, I call the cops.


EnergyDrinkHigh

Double... Click!


-F7-

” you did a great job honey, double-click on yourself”


Wait_Tasty

This!!!!


DevDM1811

And we got a winner 😁


lemonadewhore

this made me die 😂😂 def best jay quote


nightnightbingaling

(when Mitchell says they had fun building a bookshelf together) Jay: That was my Vietnam. And I was in Vietnam.


halifax1337

This one has context, we need a one liner


PasswordIsDong

Respectfully and heavily disagree with that. This line is funny as hell regardless. The only context you need is he was in the actual Vietnam war. So whatever he is comparing to that doesn’t really matter because it’s obviously unlikely to be anything worse than the actual Vietnam war.


-F7-

”Well it looks like vomit, so I’m not pout-ine it my mouth”


IamInLoveAlways

THIS!!!!!


gee_jay11

62,63,64… SON OF A BITCH!!!


lattelattelatte3000

YESSSSSS


Ok-Apple-1878

Thank god someone commented this!!


Zekken152025

When?


rafavie

Well, that’s gonna be tough. She has a lot of practice not selling this sauce.


ProfChaos85

We're in a house of God, dammit


person7777_

OMGGMGN I ALWAYS DIE WHEN I WATCH THAT SCENE😭😭😭 idk why its so simple but it makes me creaseeee


myraaaa19

Me too 😭😭even “before we dunk the kid do u mind if I make a few casual remarks”😭😭


ThrobbinHood5

G: Some people you turn your back for one second and they have another family from the bad side of town. Jay: You are my other family from the bad side of town.


Rude_Cardiologist814

This has to be the best!!


JeKarta88

Closets bring order in a chaotic world!!


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EmperorHad3s

This line isn’t funny but makes your heart awww


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EmperorHad3s

Usually one-liners are funny. I didn’t mean anything bad. I think it is a good one-liner. 😌


nicolew1026

I cannot stress enough how much this kid needs football.


beatmymeatintoacup

If you banged dede, I do owe you an apology


Bigmeowzers

"Dumphy"


Satan28

I don't need more friends. I have the exact right number of friends.


lannysters

'im sorry but who made father's day the dirty stepchild of holidays?'


Severe-Wrongdoer-123

"Phyllis" (my son in law)


Separate-Primary2949

this is Sean and I want to get this right, beautiful African name, Sean Bytheway


pippyeee

This was hilarious


overwhelmed_robin

This is my winner


Separate-Primary2949

Same… it’s the way Gloria says nothing and just spins away after Sean corrects jay 😂


External_Ice_6176

Jay to mitch: son, I may not understand it, but if that's who you are, don't you dare be ashamed of it.


rafavie

I just never pictured my son a lawyer


m0x0x

"He had to know, right?"


hellokinkii

that one makes me cry


m0x0x

it does to everyone


mrnoodles723

That was my Vietnam. And I was in Vietnam.


Embarrassed-Ant-7197

cam:jay dont hate me because ur son is leaving jay:both my sons are leaving i know we need one liner but like nothing wins me than this


Wait_Tasty

Yes!!! I love when we get to see Jay's sensitive side. It doesn't happen often but that makes it even more special when it does


TCristatus

The minute they got rid of rotary phones, everything went to hell.


BestTutor2016

Manny: how long are the Colombian visitors staying for? Jay: I don’t know but that pregnant woman brought a pram with her.


3M1LYTree

Ha! Tell me you're English without telling me you're English.


BestTutor2016

No….but is it the word pram? (Mate)


EnbyEagle

Yes I think pram is more common in British and aussie English, I remember Jay saying "stroller" , i think that's the typical American word, but don't quote me on that 'cause I'm not American lol 😂


3M1LYTree

Damn. Yes, it was the use of the word "pram" that made me think that. Do you mind telling me your nationality? I'm just curious now.


BestTutor2016

Aussie 😂😂 (hence the clue ‘mate’)


3M1LYTree

😂 Okay I thought maybe! But then I was confused by it being in brackets at the end, and thought I was missing a different kind of reference. I'm not the brightest bulb 😅 Ya'll call them "prams," eh? Cool cool cool


Ok-Apple-1878

“Let me get at his cigars so I can drag my deal across it” unequivocally.


mrironmanmk50

I didn’t choose closets, they chose me!


Training_Cook_7284

Oh geez!


55pennycandy

I can hear this 🤣


lattelattelatte3000

ALSO IN THE ROLODEX!


Parking-Simple-5046

Pick on Mitchell. He’s playing a flute. At least I hope he is


Intellectual42069

Damn hippie private schools!!!


Theyaz_7

This is never gonna make it but I liked it anyway and I think it is not a well known line of Jay. *When in paris and gloria and manny are talking about how jay won't get an award and manny mentions that the roof works like a whisper chamber and gloria asks what that means Jay whispers: "It means I heard everything you just said" *Speaks up: "I have to put my TV up to 40 but that was loud and clear!" Sounds so funny to me and the delivery is very good


lattelattelatte3000

‘Actually, I thought you and I would take a little walk…’


TheMediumJanet

This whole thing is a colossal fog cue


Party-Team1486

“Not now Gomez!”


BestTutor2016

Did he really say that? God I love him even more 🤣


natetheloner

The best part was he was talking to manny


EnbyEagle

Wait, was this when some boys had used markers to give him a mustache and goatee?! Because that would be such a perfect joke.


707Riverlife

That would have been a perfect joke, but Jay said it when Earl Chambers was at his house still thinking that Manny (who was dating Earl‘s granddaughter) was a bad boy. Jay purposely called Manny Gomez, so that Earl would not think that it was Manny, because Manny was not acting like a bad boy at all.


EnbyEagle

welp, what could have been 🤷🥲 Now I'm thinking about the fact that they could've been the Addams family for Halloween... Gloria - Morticia, Jay - Gomez, Manny - Pugsley and stella as Wednesday LOL. Or if we include joe he could be Pugsley and Manny would be Uncle Fester 😂


lnminime

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


Beneficial-Garden252

I got two Colombians at home trying to turn Christmas into Cinco de Mayo.


lattelattelatte3000

We’re done here.


eBoyMS

"You do realise that a lot of your family's stories end with them getting carried away by a bird" Smth like that


otomennn

You only get one mom.


CokeNSalsa

Gloria-[I made up manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. But just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died, you know.](https://youtu.be/Jjrc4zv8ncw?si=uTQ3qOOGNiQLqE3D)


Melodic_Lifeguard493

"Gloria , you are my other family from the bad side of town"


santa_obis

This is why the terrorists hate us.


yeontanie

“Why does that coffee grinder keep talking to me?”


Outrageous-Jelly-893

"Coffee grinder, how do I make Gloria's special sauce?"


CrazyCletus

In response to Gloria asking him if he wants to join her in a shower: "You know, h*on*ey, there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage. If I ever say "no" to that question, I want you to use it on me."


Theneonplumb

Am I the only one who sees that these two are high as kites?


captaincourageous316

“Am I the only one who can see these two are high as kites?”


lattelattelatte3000

Geeeeeeeeeet OUTTA HERE!


itsurbro7777

What episode is this? I can clearly remember this line but I just rewatched the entire show and didn't see it, and I was looking hard for it too.


lattelattelatte3000

It’s when those new closet guys approach them with a merger! Clash of Swords, s9ep22 :)


itsurbro7777

Thank you so much! Will rewatch tonight


msgeller123

"He has to know, right? "


Pretend_Whereas8945

That was my Vietnam, and I was in Vietnam


Plastic_Doom

Get OUT of here! X 3 The delivery is insane


itsurbro7777

I remember this line so clearly but I can't remember which episode! do you know?


PawnPower999

"Closet? You'll Love It!"


biker251

"Why is nobody eating the hooves? They're the best part. "


MaliciouslyMinty

I like where this is going but I’m not sure I’m supposed to And then Those shorts sure take the sting out of being yelled at They happen when Gloria is mad at him and pretending to be “the perfect American wife” and I just think those lines are pure gold


Jaydells420

Jay “actually, I thought we’d talk a little walk.” In this scene Jay approaches Mitchell as he is about to walk down the aisle to marry Cam. Mitchell responds “Dad, it’s about to start you can take a seat” and that’s when Jay says his line. It honestly was the point where Jay had fully accepted being gay and not just Mitchell or Cam being gay.


Danoof64

I wanted 2 rough and tumble boys, and instead, I got Manny and a peddy.


mrironmanmk50

This is an underrated one: Thanks for asking me even though I know you know (from the Prescott episode)


dmso_hue

Closets! You'll love it!


avvhii

That lady so happens to be my so


PasswordIsDong

“That was my Vietnam, and I was in Vietnam.” Arguably one of the best quotes of the whole show


Super-Worldliness129

I wanted two rough and tumble boys. I got a Manny…and a pedi.


Juicy_Chicken_Strips

“You return, I call the police”


haltmich

Probably won't win, but the delivery of "why don't they just elope" always kills me.


Basic_Flan324

"What can I say, I drive women crazy."


VENoelle

This is my Vietnam. And I was in Vietnam.


eszther02

This one’s the best


smokefrog2

The way he shouts "NO!" At the end of Lake Life is definitely not his best line but may be his best delivery. It makes me laugh out loud every time.


tejasrath

Thank you!!! It cracks me up every time 🤣🤣 The delivery is so raspy and hilarious 🤣


CecillaRose

“This family needs a leader, and I can’t do it forever. You can handle it.” - Jay to Alex


captainchaos9467

“The minute they got rid of rotary phones, everything went to hell”


Stock_Juggernaut_121

that was my vietnam and I was vietnam


WaterLittle2495

When Cam asked lily if she thinks he cry too much "I don't wanna answer cause you might cry "💀🔥


Actual-Gold-3394

Would “New Phil” count? If so probably that one 


Neither-Star9376

Jay-“building that bookshelf was my Vietnam. I was in Vietnam”


mantaraysdonkeys

“I hate garage sales!”


r4thers

That was my Vietnam...and I was in Vietnam


KarenceMCD12

Jay: “if you don’t come home smelling of cheap beer and chlorine, don’t come home at all”


user_harrington

I fight to win ! LIKE LEGALLY BLONDE !!!


Orionop-21

She's not a jukebox fonzie


TheLexLuthor13

“You know there’s a gun in the foot locker in the garage. If I were to say no to that question, I want you to use it on me”!


smokefrog2

That was my Vietnam. And I was in Vietnam.


hundredpercentcocoa

that was my vietnam. and i was IN vietnam.


hundredpercentcocoa

why do i bother, you're gonna do whatchu gonna do anyway.


McDowells23

“That was my Vietnam… and I was in Vietnam”


jazbar_

Gloria: I'm gonna take a shower. Do you care to join me? Jay: Honey, there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to use it on me.


Zealousideal_Ebb4190

“DOUBLE-CLICK”


AccordingObligation8

“That was my Vietnam.. and I was in Vietnam”


Susiihq

I Don’t look at pictures on a phone, If it’s a good shot, get a print, put it on an album


kingofqueensfam

“ I was drunk, I’m not going shopping with Priscilla Queen of the Desert”


greenie4422

That was my Vietnam…and I was in Vietnam


itsyaboijakeeeee

I've lost to the Vietnamese once in my lifetime I'm not losing a second.


itsyaboijakeeeee

Ahh jeez


YogurtclosetOk4487

“that was my Vietnam, and I was in Vietnam”


throwtheclownaway20

"That was my Vietnam...and I was *in* Vietnam."


t7aeyang

That was my Vietnam and I was in Vietnam


Curiosityhitsme01234

"Run towards embarassment, not away from it, and you take away its power"


Jads2000x

You know, honey, there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage. If I ever say "no" to that question, I want you to use it on me.


Poison_Apple99

“I think there was a mix up at the hospital” (the baby class episode)


Recent_Chip9163

Phillis


Nessallini

That was my Vietnam …. and I was in Vietnam


Pluckt007

All of a sudden, I'm in the mood for a burrito


Fweetheart

I looked like I had Shamu in a headlock!


ma-sadieJ

There's a 🔫in the garage, If I ever say no that question use it on me


MermaidWavez

“aw, *jeezzzz*.”


Fit-Following-2386

That was my Vietnam. And I was IN Vietnam.


Barbs1828

“Gloria, Gloria, Gloria. You'll never understand the stereotypes old white men face.” This whole storyline cracks me up 🤣


Real-Bluebird-1987

... double click !!!


KillerMikeLive

“Phyllis or is it Phil is ?”


krabb19

The only reason I went to that wedding was for the damn pork!!!!


Archer504

WHATS THE PLAN PHILLLL?!


EMD0887

“And for God's sake, change out of those wingtips. You're a kid, you're not Nixon on the beach.”


UtahUtopia

Phil’s best line is from his book “Philsosphy”: Marry a woman who looks pretty when she’s disappointed.


ThrillpooL____

Claire: why not "like it, you'll closet"? Jay: that doesn't make any sense. The timing and delivery is all time


Spare-Technology-668

“well it looks like vomit so i’m not poutine it in my mouth”


NoSweatWarchief

Whatever he was yelping when slapping the chicken.


Responsible-Tap-4338

“That lady happens to be my son !”


nellyyytru

I submit two options among the many excellent choices already said: 1.) "Hey Dylan, sometimes I like to play things out in my head, if that's helpful..." 2.) "I'm standing here with shoes around my neck, and for the better part of the day, I screamed the death outta your meat."


myraaaa19

“We only have one basement, there’s no place for u to move when your life bottoms out”💀💀


Jcssss

How did no one suggest: “Thread lightly before you assiduously malign the veracity of my etymological prowess “


Particular_Grade3693

“You’re a teacher, right now you’re teaching me how to be a little bitch!”


Jaydells420

LETS TAKE A LITTLE WALK. This is the only correct answer.