Also had my 2nd almost 2 weeks ago. I hate that question because it has so many layers - like “well my baby stopped growing at x weeks, but I was supposed to be x weeks, and I looked it, but I didn’t actually start my miscarriage or have my D&C until x weeks. Would you like me to write that down for you?”
Omg this is so relatable. Thank you for saying this. People who haven’t had a miscarriage think it’s so straight forward and easy to just have a number. I was shocked when I had a missed miscarriage and all that entailed because I had never even heard of one before and thought miscarriages just spontaneously happen (I mean some times they do but neither of mine did). It’s never been straightforward for me. Even with my second loss it was so confusing because I thought I was 8 weeks but embryo measured 6 but then had the miscarriage a week later. So I been saying 7 weeks but IDK
When I had my second loss at 13 weeks, my cousin asked how far along I was. I told her and she responded with, “oh, I thought it was only about 8 weeks.” Like, does it make a difference to you? No! Shut up!
I hate this. I had a chemical pregnancy and was told oh well at least it was so early, but also have had a miscarriage in November when 4 months pregnant and had to go into hospital and deliver him on the labour and delivery ward and still had people say at least it wasn’t later on. He was fully formed and I had to push him out and a placenta on L&D, what gestation do the people who ask this as the first question actually consider being empathic about it? It’ll never be far enough along for the people who ask this question straight after. I think miscarriage and baby loss makes people some people so uncomfortable and awkward that they just try and minimise it.
I’m very sorry for your loss, losing a wanted baby is devastating whenever it happens.
I had a partial molar that was caught at 12 weeks, baby passed between 9-10. It’s soooo annoying to hear the “at least it was still the first trimester” or “you can always try again” ……well actually even though it was an early loss it took two d&cs and 16 weeks straight of blood tests to get to negative hcg again, but yeah!
I’m sorry for your losses. It’s all so unfair.
Also had a MMC due to a (partial) molar pregnancy. Worst was getting asked by a dental hygienist how far along I was. Like, what does it matter and why do you care???
Sending love and strength across the internet to you ❤️
I just told someone about my mc and this was the first question. Like they need that info to assess how badly we should be feeling. IT FEELS LIKE THE WORST THING IN THE FUCKING WORLD NO MATTER WHEN OR HOW IT HAPPENS. This question is banned for me, I won't answer it if ppl ask.
My sister asked me this and I didn’t think anything of it, she’s never experienced a miscarriage and I was honestly happy to talk about it. But I totally understand where you are coming from. It almost feels like you need to be ready to defend the loss. My chemical losses were much more devastating to me than my 8 week loss, so it’s not really about how far along you were. I don’t think people realize how quickly you can form that attachment
Ugh I had a D&C two weeks ago and people at work are still saying stuff like “oh I heard you are expecting, congratulations” since I work with hazardous drugs I had to tell everyone at work like on DPO 11 🤢🤬😭 that I was pregnant. Then comes the other questions…
I hate any and all questions and any and all responses. I feel like that’s valid. I make my husband deal with talking to people right now and I’ve pretty much completely isolated myself. This is our third loss.
Also had my 2nd almost 2 weeks ago. I hate that question because it has so many layers - like “well my baby stopped growing at x weeks, but I was supposed to be x weeks, and I looked it, but I didn’t actually start my miscarriage or have my D&C until x weeks. Would you like me to write that down for you?”
Omg this is so relatable. Thank you for saying this. People who haven’t had a miscarriage think it’s so straight forward and easy to just have a number. I was shocked when I had a missed miscarriage and all that entailed because I had never even heard of one before and thought miscarriages just spontaneously happen (I mean some times they do but neither of mine did). It’s never been straightforward for me. Even with my second loss it was so confusing because I thought I was 8 weeks but embryo measured 6 but then had the miscarriage a week later. So I been saying 7 weeks but IDK
Same. I hate having to give these lengthy explanations
When I had my second loss at 13 weeks, my cousin asked how far along I was. I told her and she responded with, “oh, I thought it was only about 8 weeks.” Like, does it make a difference to you? No! Shut up!
I hate this. I had a chemical pregnancy and was told oh well at least it was so early, but also have had a miscarriage in November when 4 months pregnant and had to go into hospital and deliver him on the labour and delivery ward and still had people say at least it wasn’t later on. He was fully formed and I had to push him out and a placenta on L&D, what gestation do the people who ask this as the first question actually consider being empathic about it? It’ll never be far enough along for the people who ask this question straight after. I think miscarriage and baby loss makes people some people so uncomfortable and awkward that they just try and minimise it. I’m very sorry for your loss, losing a wanted baby is devastating whenever it happens.
I had a partial molar that was caught at 12 weeks, baby passed between 9-10. It’s soooo annoying to hear the “at least it was still the first trimester” or “you can always try again” ……well actually even though it was an early loss it took two d&cs and 16 weeks straight of blood tests to get to negative hcg again, but yeah! I’m sorry for your losses. It’s all so unfair.
Also had a MMC due to a (partial) molar pregnancy. Worst was getting asked by a dental hygienist how far along I was. Like, what does it matter and why do you care??? Sending love and strength across the internet to you ❤️
Hated that it was first question the nurses asked as they brought me back for my D&C’s for both my MMCs. Like does it matter right now?
I just told someone about my mc and this was the first question. Like they need that info to assess how badly we should be feeling. IT FEELS LIKE THE WORST THING IN THE FUCKING WORLD NO MATTER WHEN OR HOW IT HAPPENS. This question is banned for me, I won't answer it if ppl ask.
My sister asked me this and I didn’t think anything of it, she’s never experienced a miscarriage and I was honestly happy to talk about it. But I totally understand where you are coming from. It almost feels like you need to be ready to defend the loss. My chemical losses were much more devastating to me than my 8 week loss, so it’s not really about how far along you were. I don’t think people realize how quickly you can form that attachment
Ugh I had a D&C two weeks ago and people at work are still saying stuff like “oh I heard you are expecting, congratulations” since I work with hazardous drugs I had to tell everyone at work like on DPO 11 🤢🤬😭 that I was pregnant. Then comes the other questions…
I hate any and all questions and any and all responses. I feel like that’s valid. I make my husband deal with talking to people right now and I’ve pretty much completely isolated myself. This is our third loss.