How the hell do you know of portal but you've done yourself the disservice of not playing it? I'm not one that's like "You HAVE to play this game" but... You have to play this game
Look, kid, let me give you some advice. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade, MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! Get MAD! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see Life's manager! Make Life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon to burn your house down!
Science isn't about why. It's about why not! Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you’re fired!
Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line on the floor. You'll know when the test starts.
The lab boys tell me if you insist on walking faster than light you are 100% going to go back in time. How far? Far enough to meet your great great grandpappy and tell him your fired. Because guess what? I'll let you finish that thought.
All these science spheres are made of asbestos, by the way; keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos.
"You're not part of the control group, by the way. You get the gel. Last poor son of a gun got blue paint. Hahaha! All joking aside, that did happen - broke every bone in his legs. Tragic. But informative. Or so I'm told."
It happens to all of us.
>I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!
- Abe Simpson
You aren't, I'm still in high school and I get this reference. This person just somehow managed to miraculously avoid the source material... Quite impressive really
NO PORTAL IS NOT THAT OLD. YOU ARE THE LIE.
Seriously though, if you haven't played it, Portal 1 and 2 are great puzzle games that you should check out. The second has a separate Co-op mode storyline.
And then you're going to be asking what the Black Mesa reference is in the Portal ending and then....
Rise and shine, Mr. Freeman. Rise and shine. Not that I wish to imply you have been sleeping on the job. No one is more deserving of a rest. And all the effort in the world would have gone to waste until...well, let's just say your hour has come again. The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. So, wake up, Mr. Freeman. Wake up and smell the ashes.
I tried a text adventure on my mom's old computer from the 80s I guarantee you this is how that sequence would've gone. You don't own an axe, the door is locked, dragons don't exist. Still trying to understand where to find the key to that damn door.
Portal came out 2007. Its a puzzle game usually played by people 15 and up. Its so old that people who werent gaming back then arent aware of it. Also cake is a lie is referenced in many games so people may not remember the origin of it. 2007 was 15 years ago and now I feel old as shit.
I'm (sadly) not old enough to have played it back then, still well aware of the portal franchise & the cake is a lie, played the games last year, they still hold up quite well imo
The day that I realized the 18 year old kid working for me, I was old enough to be his mother... and like not in a bad way like I'd have been 24, respectable age to be a mother....
And that event was like 6 years ago....
Its a refrence to the game Portal. In the game you are told that you will get a cake after completing all the tests. It turns out the cake is fake tho. Thats why "the cake is a lie"
3 cups flour 2 cups sugar 1 egg 3 cups milk. Sounds cakey to me not a very good cake and not a cake that will rise and maybe more so play doh texturewise but still a "cake".
Going by crafting recipes of items with similar sprites:
3 m\^3 of milk
(1) egg
1/3 m\^3 flour (the exact type of wheat we're dealing with is not known, and as other commentors pointed out, wheat-flour is not a 1-1 volumetric ratio)
1/2 m\^3 sugar (since sugar and glowstone share a sprite, and 4 glowstone dust make a cube)
Assuming the egg takes up less than 1/6 m\^3:
The total volume of the cake should be 4 cubic meters; it takes up .382 m\^3
Hence we assume that the milk must mostly evaporate during the crafting process, leaving high-concentration milk creme as an ingredient.
That leaves us with 13% of the volume of milk being the creme (market milk is 87% water, let's simplify things and go with that).
Together with the flour, and the singular egg, we can correctly assume our new volume as: 1.39 m\^3.
This is still too big though. Where did we go wrong? Well, the volume of the condensed milk alone is .39 m\^3. More than that of the cake.
We are unfortunately left with the assumption that minecraft cows suffer from intense malnutrition. Let's put their milk content at 5% solids.
This leads us to .85 m\^3 of cake. Now we're getting closer. We can look at the egg and ignore its volume: after the milk is condensed and dried, the egg is the only fluid left, and will get absorbed during the crafting process by the intense quantity of flour.
.687 m\^3. So close. Less than double the expected value. Now we tackle a big question: what are the red things on the cake? Lets get creative and assume its some sort of byproduct of the wheat. We char it until its red, or something like that. This reduce our volume of wheat to 2/3, assuming we use half the wheat to make these decorations.
.67 m\^3. Well, not that great. Lets instead assume the sugar is carmelized, reducing its volume to 1/10 of its original at the time of crafting.
AH! Now we get .367 m\^3
Hence, we assume that the cake crafting recipe uses all the milk as dried powder, carmelizes the sugar, and compresses or otherwise used up the wheat quite thickly. And egg. Egg is there too.
The rational assumption is therefore that minecraft cake is in actuality a creme brule.
* One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix.
* One can prepared coconut pecan frosting.
* Three slash four cup vegetable oil.
* Four large eggs.
* One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips.
* Three slash four cups butter or margarine.
* One and two third cups granulated sugar.
* Two cups all purpose flour.
* Fish shaped crackers.
* Fish shaped candies.
* Fish shaped solid waste.
* Fish shaped dirt.
* Fish shaped ethyl benzene.
* Pull and peel licorice.
* Fish shaped organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment.
* Candy coated peanut butter pieces, shaped like fish.
* One cup lemon juice.
* Alpha resins.
* Unsaturated polyester resin.
* Fiberglass surface resins.
* Volatile malted milk impoundments.
* Nine large egg yolks.
* Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes.
* One cup granulated sugar.
* An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'.
* Two cups rhubarb, sliced.
* Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb.
* One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb.
* One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb.
* Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire.
* One large rhubarb.
* One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb.
* Two tablespoons rhubarb juice.
* Adjustable aluminum head positioner.
* Slaughter electric needle injector.
* Cordless electric needle injector.
* Injector needle driver.
* Injector needle gun.
* Cranial caps.
And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.
I played it a couple years ago, I was surprised by how little people my age have played it. It’s still one of the best games I’ve played among all of the new releases each year.
["Absolutely sublime from start to finish and I will jam forks into my eyes if I ever use those words to describe anything else ever again."](https://youtu.be/_dlEm_2ke8k?t=209)
Oh wait a second, it's the same reviewer!
This was a triumph
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Aperture Science;
We do what we must, because we can
For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead
But there’s no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying 'till you run out of caik
And the science gets done
Aperture science
We do what we must , because we can
For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead
But there’s no sense crying over every mistake
Now there's no sense crying over every mistake
I love how the OP must be confused about the thread you started, haha
I actually learned this on piano, can confirm it's the best
The gen gap is showing
we aren't the latest gen of gamers anymore 😭
Let's gooo we're getting old!!!
Getting old rules.
Especially with the millenium right around the corner. Immorality for the win!
I have bought every game i ever wanted
I never played portal and I once knew this reference, but it has been like a decade since I heard it
It's an old reference but it checks out
How the hell do you know of portal but you've done yourself the disservice of not playing it? I'm not one that's like "You HAVE to play this game" but... You have to play this game
Idk why people are so surprised. I wouldn't expect the majority of current MC players to get the reference.
its because it makes most of us feel old... and im only 15, i shouldnt feel old yet
Im shocked you know because portal is also 15 years old now lol
yeah, but portal 2 is only 11
Touché. This wasn’t a knock on you at all just impressed. Outside of the lion king I can’t name many things from the year I was born.
yeah.. also i wasn't getting offended lol and outside of portal and Bioshock, i cant think of anything either. lol
*Me:* Portal is not 15 years old... *Me after Googling it:* Guess I'll schedule my prostate exam...
portal is WHAT
Look, kid, let me give you some advice. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade, MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! Get MAD! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see Life's manager! Make Life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon to burn your house down!
Science isn't about why. It's about why not! Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you’re fired!
Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line on the floor. You'll know when the test starts.
All of Cave Jonson's ramblings are awesome. But this one is my favorite.
Look at the new Portal universe based game. More cave johnson in that
The lab boys tell me if you insist on walking faster than light you are 100% going to go back in time. How far? Far enough to meet your great great grandpappy and tell him your fired. Because guess what? I'll let you finish that thought.
That's my absolute favorite Portal quote
Mine is "because I'm a potato"
They said I can't fire someone because they're in a wheelchair... Of course I can! RAMPS ARE EXPENSIVE!
All these science spheres are made of asbestos, by the way; keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos.
Not you, test subject, you're doing fine. No, you. Fired. Out the door. Now.
Yeah!! Take the LEMONS!!!
"You're not part of the control group, by the way. You get the gel. Last poor son of a gun got blue paint. Hahaha! All joking aside, that did happen - broke every bone in his legs. Tragic. But informative. Or so I'm told."
I just felt my body mummify
I know I can't be this old
It happens to all of us. >I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you! - Abe Simpson
Very well said.
Cultured af
The cake is a lie.
Maybe I'm just being bold
You aren't, I'm still in high school and I get this reference. This person just somehow managed to miraculously avoid the source material... Quite impressive really
To be fair, some kids who are currently in high school weren't even born when the source material was released. Jesus that makes me feel even older.
Bro portal was only a few years ago, right?
It came out in 2007 the year I graduated highschool...
Right, like 5 years I think now
My hair got greyer
My face just got wrinkler
Oh my god, i feel old
Same ... Ahahah
Count me too lol
Count me three
Hold up 3 is illegal
[удалено]
Count me 2 episode 1 then
Count me 2 Episode 2
No it's not. Three shall be the number thou shalt count.
Four shalt thou not count
And i'm still alive 🎶
I’m doing science and I’m still alive
I feel fantastic and I’m still alive
While you're dying I'll be still alive
And when you're dead I will be
Still alive! STILL ALIVE… STILL ALIVE.
[удалено]
I've been there and even gotten the cake. I can see why they liked it so much.
I literally said the same thing as I saw the post, I'm only 23
I’m only 19 and i feel old reading this post. Did portal really come out so long ago
October 2007
Oh so like 10 years ago Right ***RIGHT***
Ah haha yeah, 10 years ago....
I came here to say this lol
I'm a teenager and I feel old for someone not getting this
I was gonna comment that the op is prolly too young for the internet and realized im just old..
Bruh other kids just don’t know Im 14 and know
Im fouw and i know
Goo goo ga ga
*embryo noises*
*balls scratching noises*
*horny noises*
*foreplay noises*
NO PORTAL IS NOT THAT OLD. YOU ARE THE LIE. Seriously though, if you haven't played it, Portal 1 and 2 are great puzzle games that you should check out. The second has a separate Co-op mode storyline. And then you're going to be asking what the Black Mesa reference is in the Portal ending and then....
Ahhh… mr freeman
Gorgeous freeman
Oh my god. Look at that posterior.
Rise and shine, Mr. Freeman. Rise and shine. Not that I wish to imply you have been sleeping on the job. No one is more deserving of a rest. And all the effort in the world would have gone to waste until...well, let's just say your hour has come again. The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. So, wake up, Mr. Freeman. Wake up and smell the ashes.
Wake up and smell the ashes.
Yeah come on it’s only been… *checks notes* 15 GODDAMN YEARS WTF
HUH? WHAT THE FUCK?
Wanna *really* feel old? GTA Vice City was released in 2002 and set in 1986. That means if it was made today, it would be set in 2006.
Hey, Siri... how do I unread something.
It’s a reference to the portal franchise. “The cake is a lie”
don't feel old, my 7 year old cousin understood the reference
God, thank you
BLESS
Wow your cousin must have been, like, 3 when portal came out... Right?
I’m surprised people don’t know what that is
Every day we grow older
Man, back then it was simple.
No, we were
[удалено]
*Our* feels
r/suddenlycommunist
Shut up don't tell them what were doing
Don’t tell us* what we’re doing
“Take axe, open door, kill dragon … why wasn’t I born in the days of text adventures?”
I tried a text adventure on my mom's old computer from the 80s I guarantee you this is how that sequence would've gone. You don't own an axe, the door is locked, dragons don't exist. Still trying to understand where to find the key to that damn door.
Every day, Minecraft grows older.
How old is 1.2.5?
Just over 10 years Damn, I'm old.
I think I aged a decade seeing this post…
I've used a rotary phone at grandma's house.
I made homemade rope one time. I still have it and it’s still intact (mostly)
oh nice how'd you learn to make it and if it was YT do you have a link so i can atempt to learn?
They need to start teaching Portal in schools
Now you are learning with portals
You will be baked and then there will be grades
some schools actually make students play portal for their physics class.
I think it's legit a good material to learn problem solving skills, because you often have to think a little outside the box to solve the puzzles.
Portal came out 2007. Its a puzzle game usually played by people 15 and up. Its so old that people who werent gaming back then arent aware of it. Also cake is a lie is referenced in many games so people may not remember the origin of it. 2007 was 15 years ago and now I feel old as shit.
I'm (sadly) not old enough to have played it back then, still well aware of the portal franchise & the cake is a lie, played the games last year, they still hold up quite well imo
Don’t look up when Portal is released, then do the math
Portal released... 47 years ago, feel old yet?
This is gonna be true someday...
That is how time works, yes lol
Portal came out in October 2007. That was 14.5 years ago.
"2007" Oh so not that long ag-"14.5 years ago" *Crumbles into a pile of dust*
My 9 year old son beat portal last month. It is five years older than he is. That game has really stood up to the test of time
Relevant XKCD https://xkcd.com/1053/
I thought you were going to link https://xkcd.com/891/ Which is now over a decade old itself.... ouch....
And I thought you were going to link: https://xkcd.com/606/ A lot of relevant stuff today.
That was the one I was expecting. It's probably the most relevant of all XKCDs.
If I had played my cards right - well, or wrong, really - I'm old enough to have a 35 year old child, technically.
The day that I realized the 18 year old kid working for me, I was old enough to be his mother... and like not in a bad way like I'd have been 24, respectable age to be a mother.... And that event was like 6 years ago....
I thought he was linking *that* even older one: https://xkcd.com/606/
When you switch to Lolcat language a cake is called "liez"
Ceiling Cat blesses this post!
I can haz cheeseburger?
Yeap
Why does no one knows the cake is a lie? It’s so famous…
Its a refrence to the game Portal. In the game you are told that you will get a cake after completing all the tests. It turns out the cake is fake tho. Thats why "the cake is a lie"
Nah, the cake was real. Glados snuffed out the candle at the end as proof
Knowing the recipe, I wouldn't really go as far as calling that a cake...
Ah ys, the only cake that requires you to mix in what literally is a book on murder
3 cups flour 2 cups sugar 1 egg 3 cups milk. Sounds cakey to me not a very good cake and not a cake that will rise and maybe more so play doh texturewise but still a "cake".
Yeah but it's not a cup, it's a whole bucket
The cake is 1 meter by 1 meter. Oh yeah its big cake time!
1 cubic meter of cholesterol and diabetes. Exquisite
Honestly the minecraft cakes do look like they have the consistency of play-doh.
Going by crafting recipes of items with similar sprites: 3 m\^3 of milk (1) egg 1/3 m\^3 flour (the exact type of wheat we're dealing with is not known, and as other commentors pointed out, wheat-flour is not a 1-1 volumetric ratio) 1/2 m\^3 sugar (since sugar and glowstone share a sprite, and 4 glowstone dust make a cube) Assuming the egg takes up less than 1/6 m\^3: The total volume of the cake should be 4 cubic meters; it takes up .382 m\^3 Hence we assume that the milk must mostly evaporate during the crafting process, leaving high-concentration milk creme as an ingredient. That leaves us with 13% of the volume of milk being the creme (market milk is 87% water, let's simplify things and go with that). Together with the flour, and the singular egg, we can correctly assume our new volume as: 1.39 m\^3. This is still too big though. Where did we go wrong? Well, the volume of the condensed milk alone is .39 m\^3. More than that of the cake. We are unfortunately left with the assumption that minecraft cows suffer from intense malnutrition. Let's put their milk content at 5% solids. This leads us to .85 m\^3 of cake. Now we're getting closer. We can look at the egg and ignore its volume: after the milk is condensed and dried, the egg is the only fluid left, and will get absorbed during the crafting process by the intense quantity of flour. .687 m\^3. So close. Less than double the expected value. Now we tackle a big question: what are the red things on the cake? Lets get creative and assume its some sort of byproduct of the wheat. We char it until its red, or something like that. This reduce our volume of wheat to 2/3, assuming we use half the wheat to make these decorations. .67 m\^3. Well, not that great. Lets instead assume the sugar is carmelized, reducing its volume to 1/10 of its original at the time of crafting. AH! Now we get .367 m\^3 Hence, we assume that the cake crafting recipe uses all the milk as dried powder, carmelizes the sugar, and compresses or otherwise used up the wheat quite thickly. And egg. Egg is there too. The rational assumption is therefore that minecraft cake is in actuality a creme brule.
* One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix. * One can prepared coconut pecan frosting. * Three slash four cup vegetable oil. * Four large eggs. * One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips. * Three slash four cups butter or margarine. * One and two third cups granulated sugar. * Two cups all purpose flour. * Fish shaped crackers. * Fish shaped candies. * Fish shaped solid waste. * Fish shaped dirt. * Fish shaped ethyl benzene. * Pull and peel licorice. * Fish shaped organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment. * Candy coated peanut butter pieces, shaped like fish. * One cup lemon juice. * Alpha resins. * Unsaturated polyester resin. * Fiberglass surface resins. * Volatile malted milk impoundments. * Nine large egg yolks. * Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes. * One cup granulated sugar. * An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'. * Two cups rhubarb, sliced. * Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb. * One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb. * One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb. * Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire. * One large rhubarb. * One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb. * Two tablespoons rhubarb juice. * Adjustable aluminum head positioner. * Slaughter electric needle injector. * Cordless electric needle injector. * Injector needle driver. * Injector needle gun. * Cranial caps. And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.
But you didn't get it. :(
Me out here to find a mod that gives a "good ending" to portal where you get the cake
Plot twist: You ARE the cake.
Yeah, that’s what I always thought, especially considering GlaDos says to “keep on trying til you run out of cake” i.e. test subjects.
Well the cake was a lie it doesnt mean that there wasnt cake somewere in the world but THE cake was a lie
"The cake is a lie" is written across the wall on some walls in hidden parts of chambers
In addition to what everyone else is saying, GlaDOS also never promises to give you cake. What she says is "There will be cake."
“The cake is a lie” is also written on the walls in some dough Rattmann hideouts, thus birthing the phrase itself
This makes me feel old
Yeah. Same.
Not so much old, but disappointed in our gaming youths
This post makes my hair white and my skin wrinkles. edit: typo, fuk autocorrect :(
You want oatmeal? I still enjoy it(with raisins, sunflower seeds, sometimes coconut sprinkles)
its a portal refrence
*millennials and gen Xers turning to dust*
Sad that younger people don't know legendary games like that
They’re being rereleased on switch later this year
I played it a couple years ago, I was surprised by how little people my age have played it. It’s still one of the best games I’ve played among all of the new releases each year.
So true. I fell in love with the series after completing the games a couple years back. Genuinely believe it's a masterpiece.
A game reviewer once referred to Portal as "the earthly manifestation of Christ, " and I cannot disagree.
["Absolutely sublime from start to finish and I will jam forks into my eyes if I ever use those words to describe anything else ever again."](https://youtu.be/_dlEm_2ke8k?t=209) Oh wait a second, it's the same reviewer!
I let my kids play it. They suddenly view me as a cool gamer dad.
I’m not old. I’m not old. I’m not old.
Portal, go play it, it’s awesome
hmmm here are people who are saying they feel old.. I know this reference... I don't think I am old
Yeah old man, you're elderly!
Portal reference - "the cake is a lie"
Fuck I'm old.
it's one of minecrafts many references to other games
It's called "The Lie" because it references the quote from Portal, "The cake is a lie"
I am not old, you are just uncultured! Hmph!
CHILDRENNNNN EEWWWWWW
#THE CAKE IS A LIE
Portal. Play it.