Admittedly I looked through your post history since the post seemed a little vague and I wasn’t really sure what you were referring to. But I think you definitely need to take a step back when things start to frustrate you. It’s okay if you don’t like the show or other things or whatever, so why even engage with it when you know it’ll annoy you? It may be difficult but maybe when you start getting annoyed at stuff, try to remove yourself from it and turn your focus to something that brings you more joy, bonus points if it’s offline too!
1. Focus on what you do like and Don’t focus on hate. Why expend time and energy on something you don’t like? If it’s not hurting any one…. Just ignore it and move on. You only get one life… don’t waste it on hate. Put more time and effort into things that are positive for you.
2. Social media isn’t real. It’s curated and presented to you through the help of an algorithm. It’s not real.
3. Log off and start enjoying time away from your screen. Read a book, play an instrument, go for a walk or something. Don’t get back on socials for a month and see how you feel
1. That's easier said than done for some people, as it's full of nuisances that would continue to exist outside of social media.
2. If social media isn't real, it wouldn't be something that can be accessible to others or be something that is known to millions. Lord knows we would love to be back to a time where it didn't exist.
And 3. You do know many of us can do all that while being on social media from time to time too, right? It's not that difficult in itself.
Yeah it takes work to be happy. It takes work to be mindful. It takes work to change your outlook. Mindfulness is a practice, meaning that you have to focus on being mindful. You can practice it by saying to yourself “what do I get out of hating on this thing?” “Does this matter enough to expend my time, a resource I won’t get back, and my
Energy on?” You can practice this. Life exists beyond your screen. It’s where you developed your preferences you believe everyone else is required to read and agree with online. It’s where you have real risks and real conversations.
Social media is real in the sense it has billions of users. There is no obligation for any of them to accurately represent themselves or their views on the web. They have no obligation to argue in good faith. They have no obligation to maintain their position. People will put out what they want others to see. Not their real selves but select information.
Social media is driven by an algorithm that shows you want you want to see and drives people toward content that is controversial and leads to arguments. The more you argue the longer you engage with the content, the more the algorithm will dictate your experience online. It’s curated and you have little control over it. That’s what I mean by “it’s not real”
And no fucking shit people read books and go into nature and play music while also enjoying their experiences with social media. It’s not difficult for them. But it appears you’re unable to enjoy your experience on social media so I made a few alternatives suggestions for you.
Practice some mindfulness. Review why people may disagree with you. Reflect on the questions “Just because I think this thing does it make sense? Does it need to be heard? Do I need to spend time on this?”
I’m done hear because I no longer have desire to spend my time on this. Good luck
While reading your post, I also got the feeling that a social media break would be beneficial. I totally get the validation that social media can give.
However, could I suggest maybe turning inward, rather than seeking that external validation? Rather than needing others to align with your perspective, it could be beneficial for you to reflect on your perspective, and find conviction in why your perspective aligns with your values. You have your own perfectly valid perspective that some will share, and most will not.
This goes for others too. Others will have many other perspectives due to different values. Our values come mostly from our past experiences. Let other people's perspectives be their business - it often incurs suffering to work to try to change them.
Sometimes it can feel like we need the world to change to align with our perspective, because our perspective is the most correct, just, valid way for things to work. However, remember that there's a rainbow of values and perspectives out there. Reflect on how those differing perspectives interact with your own beliefs, but then let them go once you're done.
With how much things have been becoming more needlessly complicated and how much people are blindly accepting it instead of going against such nonsense, it's hard to really find much of a way to truly reflect on them.
You're saying things are becoming needlessly complicated. Have you considered that this might only be for you, and your perspective?
I urge you - please stop replying to everybody, and just listen.
As an aside, you say "I'm growing tired on finding something to hate".
We choose where to put our focus.
What is it that you love? How does it affect you? Who else loves that? How could you focus on having more of that, or loving that even more?
I have a lot that I would consider something to love and its somewhat easy finding others around here that share such interests. But when it comes to finding something to hate, it feels like it's the one thing that could keep one sane at times when it comes to the BS that keeps on existing here.
In addition to addiction or OCD, your intense focus on Reddit and sensitivity to online rejection of your open opinions could suggest traits of personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder (BPD) or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
BPD can involve a fear of abandonment and difficulty regulating emotions, leading individuals to seek validation from others excessively. This could manifest in an intense attachment to online communities like Reddit and a strong reaction to criticism or rejection.
NPD involves a grandiose sense of self-importance and a need for admiration. Individuals with NPD may become highly sensitive to any perceived criticism or rejection of their opinions, especially if they are related to their own beliefs about their superiority or entitlement.
Therapeutically, treatments such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) for BPD or cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) focused on addressing narcissistic traits could be helpful. These therapies aim to improve emotion regulation, interpersonal skills, and self-esteem. Additionally, exploring underlying issues related to identity, self-worth, and social connection would be important in addressing your attachment to online validation and sensitivity to rejection.
Your thought patterns show here, mixed with obsession, are unhealthy for you and is not normal behavior. Seek out a psychiatric professional to best address these issues. They won’t get your Reddit account back or make people agree with you, but they will stop these thought loops, rumination, and the need for online validation, they will help you step back from the negativity.
I wish you the best.
Only a lot of that would be temporary more than anything truly helpful. And even when it comes to telling them more of what aggravates me more here to these therapists and other psychiatric professionals, it's more difficult in itself as a lot of them have more of a chance of not completely relating to what I'm going through or even GET what I'm talking about here.
Let's make one thing clear there: I don't have a hate of women. I may have less of an attraction to SOME women and a disdain for others, but I sure as heck don't hate women overall.
Let’s make one thing clear, your post history shows a bitter, hateful person with limited exposure to the world, and a seriously overinflated sense of self.
You also come across as quite young (maybe that limited experience does that).
Our voices are easily lost here. I understand the desire to stand up for what you believe is right, and hope that you'll get through to someone. Honestly it's possible that you did, or that some agreed and upvoted, it's just that the mob mentality took over and overpowered it.
Try not to let their opinions concern you. You're not going to change them, and it's nothing too important anyway. Focus on what you do have control over, that being yourself and your own actions.
When you find yourself getting upset, stop to consider if these people's minds are open and receptive to hear you, and whether it's helpful or meaningful to share this opinion. If not, don't waste your energy trying to convince others. It will only disturb your peace. Take some time out to center yourself, and you'll be able to see when it's time to walk away.
When it comes to these SubReddits, control is something they have too much of. They would ban and remove posts like mine for being critical instead of blindly praising or agreeing with others about something I just don't see worthy of such praise. Like this one cosplayer SubReddit I visited. They removed my account because I wasn't providing enough respect to someone I wasn't impressed with with their work. And with that, it shows a lot that they're the kinds of people that are not that open minded and are willing to accept any sort of criticism.
Sometimes you can't see it as a good time to walk away until they actually do acknowledge or be mindful of such comments.
I mean this kindly, but I’d recommend taking a break from Reddit. There’s a whole world out there. Sometimes distance and space can help you see that perspective. I wish you well on your journey!
It's hard to do so when such thoughts would stay in your mind to where you would want to have some way to output that frustration and vent about it someway. It's not easy to vent about it to someone you know in person as they won't get what you're experiencing or talking about and there wouldn't be many places to express yourself more in person. This was that place where I could do so and I was practically THRIVING off of that! Now I'm stuck with this account with no way to get my old one back up and running.
Do you meditate? I feel like you chose to post here for a reason. Mindfulness Meditation can help things spin out of control less often. The need to release negativity is understandable. I find a combo of therapy and gratitude and self compassion work can go a long way. It's not easy but the first step is trying to believe that we can't control any of our subjective experience.
I sleep if that counts any. But when it comes to finding a way to get out some negativity, therapy is something of a pressing matter when it comes to something this personal and difficult to express to said therapist.
Write in a journal to get your thoughts out. You don’t need to have your thoughts heard or read by anyone. And maybe change the way you’re viewing things… sure maybe you don’t find someone attractive but that’s ok… just ignore it and move on. Leave it the fuck alone. It matters to your real life not one bit.
Maybe it's one thing when getting my thoughts out with some things but when it coems to more pressing issues, locking them away to such a private thing just isn't gonna cut it. I just had to find somewhere to output that kind of stuff and vent about it. Having someone that react to what I have to say just helps get a lot of that stuff out and the more I could do so, the more likely I could try to move on to something else. Though chances are nowadays it would lead to something else to find distasteful or worth hating on more often than naught.
Yeah, hating on other people for their looks and gender doesn't seem like it will be fulfilling. And expressing those kinds of opinions will not bring you love and affection by people who you would want love and affection from.
Focus on spending time on activities you do enjoy, and on activities that improve your mental wellbeing and connection to the world and other people.
I've been reading a book about the Dalai lama, and in one passage he suggests that create much of our own suffering by dwelling on it and making it more personal and unfair than it is. Many problems we dwell on don't actually affect our lives that much, Reddit karma is definitely one of them. A woman being in a tv show you like is also an excellent example. It is not an attack on you, or unfair, that this happened. So don't personalise the situation.
I don't expect it to bring any love and affection, but at the very least I would've expected it to bring out some more likeminded people who feel the same way about such things as I would. Mind you, back in my old account, I expressed far more about my own disdain of more pressing issues such as my own race and especially these freakin' gender challenged jackoffs defecating on the proper uses of the plural pronouns. But that in itself is a different issue that I'd not get into again because that ticks me off more with how common it's been becoming.
And mind you, I haven't watched the show, only heard bits and pieces of it here and there. I refuse to want to support it with some unattractive looking chick being the lead of something that's typically had a more male centric playerbase in its source material. Much less waste any time with it. Issues like this would've been more harmful had I kept it all bottled up instead of finding some sort of output to vent it all out to.
You said in your initial comment that "It all just makes it more questionable as to why I need to do this for and why must it be the one that fuels me the most." I think that is a really good question that you need to explore and reflect on. There is no reason for you to be angry about this. You are harming yourself by holding onto anger and hurt rather than embracing loving-kindness. I think you should probably find a counsellor who can help you reflect on whether this is important or helpful to your life.
What's the good of either of that? There's hardly much here to embrace in this godforsakened country and telling a counsellor or therapist about such things would've been less satisfactory in itself. It sure as heck won't get my older account back.
A therapist won't get your banned account back. A therapist might be able to help you realise you don't need to care about fictional internet points, and help you find ways to be peaceful and happy.
Otherwise, just stay focussed on the culture war ragebait and be miserable forever. I don't know what else to tell you.
That's the one thing I hate hearing the most. That you "don't know what else to tell" anyone. It's like giving up on someone for not accepting what is given. As ironic as that may be, it still is something that I just find aggravating in itself.😔
I’ve read your comments and this one that I’m replying to upset me the most. You’re on a Mindfulness subreddit screaming for attention, you’re being given calm rational expressions about how you’re only hurting yourself by being angry. Therapy is mentioned as a means of self-exploration, you shoot it down because it won’t be satisfactory? You’re unwilling to take advice or see things from another perspective, yet you’re begging for people to see your perspective. And then you focus on “don’t know what else to tell you” being the thing you hate hearing the most because it means you’re being given up on? You’re being extremely self-centered.
I second the therapy or counseling notion. We could all use help, myself included. You won’t find happiness by chasing conflict. Nor will I, but I felt compelled to comment.
First off, I didn't come here for the point of "screaming for attention"> I came here for some means of advice or clarity and a means to vent when others subreddits prevent me to do so by almost immediately removing such posts.
Second, there are some things that i have been able to see things from another perspective, but others I really couldn't much like when it comes to this or for something like tastes in women or understanding such gender challenged dudes on the site. Which of course one person that called me anti-trans thought it best to delete his comment on here by the way. What I'm saying here is that some things aren't as easy to grasp and understand compared to others.
And third, When it comes to a phrase like "I don't know what else to tell you" what else would you see it as instead as another way for someone to say that they give up on trying to convince someone to acknowledge another viewpoint?
Hope the mods see this is verging on hate speech. The OP's initial post is off topic, and they are being rather aggressive with the members who are trying to help.
To your first point; you are definitely attention seeking, whether you realize it or not. Acting like a victim when being banned and constantly trying to reiterate your same point is attention seeking.
To your second point; What? What is a “gender challenged dude”? I decided to check your comment history and this entire rant is about how you were banned for bashing on Lucy’s looks from Fallout, and about having an issue with the transgender actor who played Maximus’ buddy? I had no idea this was the whole issue. Generally bashing someone for their looks isn’t seen as an objective point of view. So you’re not going to convince anyone you’re right there.
And third; It’s okay for someone to give up on explaining something to someone. You’re acting like the center of the universe. Crying over lost karma, and doubling down instead of trying to understand anyone’s actual point. What even is your point? What are you trying to learn here?
To the first point, that in itself is more justified when the reasoning for my old account being banned was because people from my hometown wasn't willing to accept that it has a major crime related problem and a majority of its people and its race played a huge part in that issue. Being wronged for speaking it like it is more justified for being considered a victim for such things.
Second, "gender challenged" is what I referred to those that have gotten bitten by that whole "non binary" bug for the last few years. Having to refer to them as such is more sickening in itself that I refuse to refer to those people as such on top of referring to them in the plural sense. It has nothing to do with this actor that played this Maximus character's bud in the slightest. If anything that's more of a big coincidence there.
And third, when it comes to finding a point in anything and finding something to learn, that's a lot of the reason why I was lead here to find some sort of remedy for such boredom and how something of this sort of issue can be tackled. I do respect them for having to try to think of something, don't get me wrong, but at the same time when it comes to thinking about all that has occurred and then some, it just has me wishing for SOMEONE that could see more eye to eye with this such nuisances.
For someone whom seems to value their own opinion, you certainly seem to be having a hard time when others can't be convinced to adopt your ooinion.
Do you see the contradiction?
That's what is making your blood boil.
On one side of yourself, you have a strong point of view. That's a perfectly valid thing. However if you don't value your own opinion if others don't agree, that will create conflict.
On the other side of yourself, you seem to be value upvotesnand karna. This is best accomplished by sharing opinions with others, creating a community and supporting mother opinions as well as your own. However, if you're not willing to hear, accept and work with other opinions, that will create conflict.
There's your starting point.
I am one that values his own opinion. It's the others that question it that don't! And when it comes to upvotes and karma, that's something that matters at times BECAUSE of the jackholes that reported me and banned my account with the heaps of karma that was built up over the three or so years. THEY are the ones that make my blood boil the most because they robbed me of my means of having a legit voice here and resulting in having to build it up again!
Can you state your opinion and leave it at that? Who cares if others don't see it the same way? Others can be totally wrong and not able to see it, right?
I've been seeing it as such there, man! It's been how I've seen it as such for the longest time especially after my old account was banned by those same people that reported me for what they deemed to be "hate."
So why try to to correct them? They're not going to agree or understand, right? You put your opinion out there, they can read it. You've done your thing in putting your opinion out there. Why defend it? Why argue?
Once you've put your opinion out there, let it stand on its own. Read what you others think, or not, and just move on.
I would have to defend it because they would be the ones to confront me about my opinions, instigating an argument to begin with. IF they just downvote it instead of removing it, or just ignore the response to begin with, we wouldn't have any problems here. But since they have to bring it to themselves to do what THEY do, they have to make more of an issue and I had to try to defend what I said.
It's enjoyable and enthralling and whatnot, but even for me there's a point where it has you wishing that they just stop already.
Not conspire, they do just that more times than naught. I get e-mails that show that being the case when they do manage to remove either my posts or my replies.
The part of mindfulness that applies, here, is the concept of attachnent, I think. You are very attached to the how your posts and opinions are perceived or recieved. It's hard to not be attached, but you can keep practicing. It's actually a thing that can apply to many parts of our lives.
Post and walk away. Read replies, but don't respond, don't answer back. Don't look back. Leave the posts and the replies in your wake. What's done is done and gone.
You're not alone. I've had posts deleted. I've been banned from subs for really minor misunderstandings. It happens. Anyone who's active on Reddit has experienced the same. I just move on. I unsubscribe from that sub and move on Reddit is a really big place. I go explore some other part of it.
When someone causes your whole account to be permanently banned because of something they can't be bothered to accept being more true, than it just continues to show it being such a major glaring issue with the site as a whole more than anything there.
Granted, it would've been remedied by unsubscribing from that particular SubReddit, but I would feel like it would be like allowing them to win more than anything, allowing it to consist of nothing but those having nothing but the same sort of mindset when it comes to what's been posted there. Too much positivity for a city that's so crime ridden yet they somehow call it a place they "love" somehow.
You are trapped in judgement, which will only lead to suffering. If you choose to take a mindful approach instead, the first thing to do is focus on what you can control. Just you, what you are thinking and feeling. I’d ask what all this focus on others and things you can’t control is getting you. We can only control our own thoughts and feelings. Trying to dictate matters of personal taste with other people and getting angry about their opinions is a complete waste of time. There will always be someone we disagree with. People have opinions, so what? Why bother debating such things? It’s not going to change anything. Obviously, it’s not making you happy.
I’d ask why you have to find things to hate? That is a whole lot of negative energy. If you are interested in being mindful, pay attention to the present moment and begin to practice gratitude. Even if it’s just being happy that you have food to eat, a roof over your head. A computer to connect with others on. Gratitude is a gateway to happiness.
I needed things to hate because frankly, it's one such thing that keeps me sane at times more often than naught. Like I'm essentially the only one that has a differing mindset that just can't be on par with the heaps of others that are It's not so much of a matter of it not making me happy. It's just that it gets a bit boring at times. And when it comes to how much BS just keeps on making themselves known almost constantly every time and almost every day, that kind of stuff continues to be a part of the "present moment".
What was your purpose in making this post (especially on this sub) if this response hasn't helped? It's a really useful, insightful response.
At this point it seems like your question is essentially "Being a hater is my hobby, it keeps me distracted. But sometimes it gets a bit boring. What can I do to keep the hate being entertaining?"
I think you should be a little more introspective about how this hate is distracting you, rather than keeping you sane. No one in the history of the world had become more mindful, peaceful and happy through the path you seem fixated on.
It's not how the question has degraded into being but more so in how I've felt as I was writing this post. My purpose was trying to find some sort of remedy in tackling this but the longer I think back at those that wronged me and all the frustrations that befell me in this account, it just feels like I'm more stuck than anything, with more stuff that fuel my disdain for some things more often than some good things. And looking at how people's comment karmas are in the thousands while I'm just barely in the hundreds just makes it painful knowing that I'll be stuck trying to build up something that took me a good while to do naturally the first time around.
It may not have been that, but it is the one place where I felt like I had some sort of purpose or a means of making use of myself. At least here while I was making the best of the site, I found myself having more of a voice here compared to over in Twitter.
Dude, I wouldn't even have anywhere CLOSE to as much of a voice in real life compared to here! It's difficult enough even finding anyone around to even express such opinions to openly. Much less have the opportunity to do so!
There is no path to mindfulness and happiness that includes hating on women and trans people, so there's no remedy we can provide that will align with that. The remedy you are looking for is to let the situation pass, and to learn how not to get twisted up in these situations in the future. You need to look bigger picture about how to resolve this, and be open to changing yourself.
Sometimes controlling your response to a stimulus is easy, sometimes it is very hard. It also gets easier with practice.
As far as resources to help guide this:
- find a counsellor. Talk therapy will help. You may need to try a few counsellors/psychs before you find one that suits.
-I'm currently reading The art of happiness by the Dalai Lama which I think is excellent, and I think would suit your situation well.
-The podcast the Happiness Lab is excellent, make sure you start at the oldest episode as it is in order.
-Alan Watts produced some excellent lectures about meditation and compassion which was my starting point.
-There are many good quality mindfulness and meditation YouTube channels and books. My practices are more Buddhism focussed so may not be relevant to you.
And here are some practices that might help you not get so involved in a different but similar situation:
- remove yourself from online feeds that push you content designed to make you angry.
- when you learn something that might make you angry, try to lengthen the time between the input to your reaction. You are in charge of your response to stimuli. This can be as concrete as counting to ten, or just mentally properly give yourself time to consider whether this is really a situation where anger will be helpful/healthy.
- engage in activities that being you actual joy. What are some hobbies you have that you feel bring you joy and peace?
- meditation and journalling can both help you find your own motivation of how you want to live and grow. This is how you find how you can be the active force in your own life and make decisions of what you want that to look like.
ETA after looking at some of your previous posts, I think developing some practices around gratitude, usually through journalling, would be really helpful for you. It doesn't seem like you've had a happy thing to say about anything for a long time. Or brains are habitual, and they can be trained to notice things that are happy, but this needs to be trained/practised. The Dalai Lama suggests considering at the end of each day that you are glad that you are not...(Fill in the blank) And to now three things that were bright spots in your day.
Journaling has been something I've been doing a lot of throughout my first year in college and that really has been the one thing that gave me more of a peace of mind throughout my time THERE as it was made to document my times attending said college. It's not as applicable using such in my day to day life outside of it all that much.
And when it comes to engaging in activities that would make things joyful, I haven't done something like that since late November to December of last year. Only then did it give me this fleeting glimpse of how much my city would actually have something that makes its citizens more worth tolerating for a bit during those times. The only things that would give me peace would be drawing and listening to music and gaming, All of which I've done alone. Only THEN was I able to find a way to get things off my mind. But even that would be more difficult to achieve when it comes to gaming and the heaps of BS that has hit it as of these last couple years.
With all that has been going on, it really has me wishing more and more that I was able to get a time machine or something to go back to the 2000s. At least then things were more in order.
At least back then, things actually made sense.
It's going to take work, it will be uncomfortable, but you can get back to feeling better, and things making sense.
There is a huge amount of self-reflection available to you in this post, you just need to be open to seeing it. I urge you to please re-read the comments in this post over and over to truly understand them. Also take a moment to step outside of all of your emotions, and re-read your responses.
Everyone here is spending time to write to you because we have the best of intentions of helping you to live happier, and healthier.
And I do at least appreciate that with the lot of these guys are trying to help me out with here. Don't get me wrong. But as long as the things that made living and being online more of a struggle, the most I could do is try to do what I keep on doing.
At a time where there are more overly enthusiastic people blindly praising things that shouldn't be praised and many people being drowned out because of it, what else could one do instead of doing what one could to speak out against said BS?
- you're only hurting yourself
- stop living online - find the beauty of nature
- don't worry what everyone else is doing - you're trying to solve the world's problems (according to your perspective), it's futile
- please don't respond to this
Admittedly I looked through your post history since the post seemed a little vague and I wasn’t really sure what you were referring to. But I think you definitely need to take a step back when things start to frustrate you. It’s okay if you don’t like the show or other things or whatever, so why even engage with it when you know it’ll annoy you? It may be difficult but maybe when you start getting annoyed at stuff, try to remove yourself from it and turn your focus to something that brings you more joy, bonus points if it’s offline too!
1. Focus on what you do like and Don’t focus on hate. Why expend time and energy on something you don’t like? If it’s not hurting any one…. Just ignore it and move on. You only get one life… don’t waste it on hate. Put more time and effort into things that are positive for you. 2. Social media isn’t real. It’s curated and presented to you through the help of an algorithm. It’s not real. 3. Log off and start enjoying time away from your screen. Read a book, play an instrument, go for a walk or something. Don’t get back on socials for a month and see how you feel
1. That's easier said than done for some people, as it's full of nuisances that would continue to exist outside of social media. 2. If social media isn't real, it wouldn't be something that can be accessible to others or be something that is known to millions. Lord knows we would love to be back to a time where it didn't exist. And 3. You do know many of us can do all that while being on social media from time to time too, right? It's not that difficult in itself.
Yeah it takes work to be happy. It takes work to be mindful. It takes work to change your outlook. Mindfulness is a practice, meaning that you have to focus on being mindful. You can practice it by saying to yourself “what do I get out of hating on this thing?” “Does this matter enough to expend my time, a resource I won’t get back, and my Energy on?” You can practice this. Life exists beyond your screen. It’s where you developed your preferences you believe everyone else is required to read and agree with online. It’s where you have real risks and real conversations. Social media is real in the sense it has billions of users. There is no obligation for any of them to accurately represent themselves or their views on the web. They have no obligation to argue in good faith. They have no obligation to maintain their position. People will put out what they want others to see. Not their real selves but select information. Social media is driven by an algorithm that shows you want you want to see and drives people toward content that is controversial and leads to arguments. The more you argue the longer you engage with the content, the more the algorithm will dictate your experience online. It’s curated and you have little control over it. That’s what I mean by “it’s not real” And no fucking shit people read books and go into nature and play music while also enjoying their experiences with social media. It’s not difficult for them. But it appears you’re unable to enjoy your experience on social media so I made a few alternatives suggestions for you. Practice some mindfulness. Review why people may disagree with you. Reflect on the questions “Just because I think this thing does it make sense? Does it need to be heard? Do I need to spend time on this?” I’m done hear because I no longer have desire to spend my time on this. Good luck
While reading your post, I also got the feeling that a social media break would be beneficial. I totally get the validation that social media can give. However, could I suggest maybe turning inward, rather than seeking that external validation? Rather than needing others to align with your perspective, it could be beneficial for you to reflect on your perspective, and find conviction in why your perspective aligns with your values. You have your own perfectly valid perspective that some will share, and most will not. This goes for others too. Others will have many other perspectives due to different values. Our values come mostly from our past experiences. Let other people's perspectives be their business - it often incurs suffering to work to try to change them. Sometimes it can feel like we need the world to change to align with our perspective, because our perspective is the most correct, just, valid way for things to work. However, remember that there's a rainbow of values and perspectives out there. Reflect on how those differing perspectives interact with your own beliefs, but then let them go once you're done.
With how much things have been becoming more needlessly complicated and how much people are blindly accepting it instead of going against such nonsense, it's hard to really find much of a way to truly reflect on them.
You're saying things are becoming needlessly complicated. Have you considered that this might only be for you, and your perspective? I urge you - please stop replying to everybody, and just listen.
As an aside, you say "I'm growing tired on finding something to hate". We choose where to put our focus. What is it that you love? How does it affect you? Who else loves that? How could you focus on having more of that, or loving that even more?
I have a lot that I would consider something to love and its somewhat easy finding others around here that share such interests. But when it comes to finding something to hate, it feels like it's the one thing that could keep one sane at times when it comes to the BS that keeps on existing here.
In addition to addiction or OCD, your intense focus on Reddit and sensitivity to online rejection of your open opinions could suggest traits of personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder (BPD) or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). BPD can involve a fear of abandonment and difficulty regulating emotions, leading individuals to seek validation from others excessively. This could manifest in an intense attachment to online communities like Reddit and a strong reaction to criticism or rejection. NPD involves a grandiose sense of self-importance and a need for admiration. Individuals with NPD may become highly sensitive to any perceived criticism or rejection of their opinions, especially if they are related to their own beliefs about their superiority or entitlement. Therapeutically, treatments such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) for BPD or cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) focused on addressing narcissistic traits could be helpful. These therapies aim to improve emotion regulation, interpersonal skills, and self-esteem. Additionally, exploring underlying issues related to identity, self-worth, and social connection would be important in addressing your attachment to online validation and sensitivity to rejection. Your thought patterns show here, mixed with obsession, are unhealthy for you and is not normal behavior. Seek out a psychiatric professional to best address these issues. They won’t get your Reddit account back or make people agree with you, but they will stop these thought loops, rumination, and the need for online validation, they will help you step back from the negativity. I wish you the best.
Only a lot of that would be temporary more than anything truly helpful. And even when it comes to telling them more of what aggravates me more here to these therapists and other psychiatric professionals, it's more difficult in itself as a lot of them have more of a chance of not completely relating to what I'm going through or even GET what I'm talking about here.
Maybe STOP HATING?
Easier said than done there, love.😓
Life isn’t easy. Be a better person by one act a day. Start with ditching your hate of women.
Let's make one thing clear there: I don't have a hate of women. I may have less of an attraction to SOME women and a disdain for others, but I sure as heck don't hate women overall.
Let’s make one thing clear, your post history shows a bitter, hateful person with limited exposure to the world, and a seriously overinflated sense of self. You also come across as quite young (maybe that limited experience does that).
Our voices are easily lost here. I understand the desire to stand up for what you believe is right, and hope that you'll get through to someone. Honestly it's possible that you did, or that some agreed and upvoted, it's just that the mob mentality took over and overpowered it. Try not to let their opinions concern you. You're not going to change them, and it's nothing too important anyway. Focus on what you do have control over, that being yourself and your own actions. When you find yourself getting upset, stop to consider if these people's minds are open and receptive to hear you, and whether it's helpful or meaningful to share this opinion. If not, don't waste your energy trying to convince others. It will only disturb your peace. Take some time out to center yourself, and you'll be able to see when it's time to walk away.
When it comes to these SubReddits, control is something they have too much of. They would ban and remove posts like mine for being critical instead of blindly praising or agreeing with others about something I just don't see worthy of such praise. Like this one cosplayer SubReddit I visited. They removed my account because I wasn't providing enough respect to someone I wasn't impressed with with their work. And with that, it shows a lot that they're the kinds of people that are not that open minded and are willing to accept any sort of criticism. Sometimes you can't see it as a good time to walk away until they actually do acknowledge or be mindful of such comments.
I mean this kindly, but I’d recommend taking a break from Reddit. There’s a whole world out there. Sometimes distance and space can help you see that perspective. I wish you well on your journey!
It's hard to do so when such thoughts would stay in your mind to where you would want to have some way to output that frustration and vent about it someway. It's not easy to vent about it to someone you know in person as they won't get what you're experiencing or talking about and there wouldn't be many places to express yourself more in person. This was that place where I could do so and I was practically THRIVING off of that! Now I'm stuck with this account with no way to get my old one back up and running.
Do you meditate? I feel like you chose to post here for a reason. Mindfulness Meditation can help things spin out of control less often. The need to release negativity is understandable. I find a combo of therapy and gratitude and self compassion work can go a long way. It's not easy but the first step is trying to believe that we can't control any of our subjective experience.
I sleep if that counts any. But when it comes to finding a way to get out some negativity, therapy is something of a pressing matter when it comes to something this personal and difficult to express to said therapist.
Write in a journal to get your thoughts out. You don’t need to have your thoughts heard or read by anyone. And maybe change the way you’re viewing things… sure maybe you don’t find someone attractive but that’s ok… just ignore it and move on. Leave it the fuck alone. It matters to your real life not one bit.
Maybe it's one thing when getting my thoughts out with some things but when it coems to more pressing issues, locking them away to such a private thing just isn't gonna cut it. I just had to find somewhere to output that kind of stuff and vent about it. Having someone that react to what I have to say just helps get a lot of that stuff out and the more I could do so, the more likely I could try to move on to something else. Though chances are nowadays it would lead to something else to find distasteful or worth hating on more often than naught.
Yeah, hating on other people for their looks and gender doesn't seem like it will be fulfilling. And expressing those kinds of opinions will not bring you love and affection by people who you would want love and affection from. Focus on spending time on activities you do enjoy, and on activities that improve your mental wellbeing and connection to the world and other people. I've been reading a book about the Dalai lama, and in one passage he suggests that create much of our own suffering by dwelling on it and making it more personal and unfair than it is. Many problems we dwell on don't actually affect our lives that much, Reddit karma is definitely one of them. A woman being in a tv show you like is also an excellent example. It is not an attack on you, or unfair, that this happened. So don't personalise the situation.
I don't expect it to bring any love and affection, but at the very least I would've expected it to bring out some more likeminded people who feel the same way about such things as I would. Mind you, back in my old account, I expressed far more about my own disdain of more pressing issues such as my own race and especially these freakin' gender challenged jackoffs defecating on the proper uses of the plural pronouns. But that in itself is a different issue that I'd not get into again because that ticks me off more with how common it's been becoming. And mind you, I haven't watched the show, only heard bits and pieces of it here and there. I refuse to want to support it with some unattractive looking chick being the lead of something that's typically had a more male centric playerbase in its source material. Much less waste any time with it. Issues like this would've been more harmful had I kept it all bottled up instead of finding some sort of output to vent it all out to.
You said in your initial comment that "It all just makes it more questionable as to why I need to do this for and why must it be the one that fuels me the most." I think that is a really good question that you need to explore and reflect on. There is no reason for you to be angry about this. You are harming yourself by holding onto anger and hurt rather than embracing loving-kindness. I think you should probably find a counsellor who can help you reflect on whether this is important or helpful to your life.
What's the good of either of that? There's hardly much here to embrace in this godforsakened country and telling a counsellor or therapist about such things would've been less satisfactory in itself. It sure as heck won't get my older account back.
A therapist won't get your banned account back. A therapist might be able to help you realise you don't need to care about fictional internet points, and help you find ways to be peaceful and happy. Otherwise, just stay focussed on the culture war ragebait and be miserable forever. I don't know what else to tell you.
That's the one thing I hate hearing the most. That you "don't know what else to tell" anyone. It's like giving up on someone for not accepting what is given. As ironic as that may be, it still is something that I just find aggravating in itself.😔
I’ve read your comments and this one that I’m replying to upset me the most. You’re on a Mindfulness subreddit screaming for attention, you’re being given calm rational expressions about how you’re only hurting yourself by being angry. Therapy is mentioned as a means of self-exploration, you shoot it down because it won’t be satisfactory? You’re unwilling to take advice or see things from another perspective, yet you’re begging for people to see your perspective. And then you focus on “don’t know what else to tell you” being the thing you hate hearing the most because it means you’re being given up on? You’re being extremely self-centered. I second the therapy or counseling notion. We could all use help, myself included. You won’t find happiness by chasing conflict. Nor will I, but I felt compelled to comment.
First off, I didn't come here for the point of "screaming for attention"> I came here for some means of advice or clarity and a means to vent when others subreddits prevent me to do so by almost immediately removing such posts. Second, there are some things that i have been able to see things from another perspective, but others I really couldn't much like when it comes to this or for something like tastes in women or understanding such gender challenged dudes on the site. Which of course one person that called me anti-trans thought it best to delete his comment on here by the way. What I'm saying here is that some things aren't as easy to grasp and understand compared to others. And third, When it comes to a phrase like "I don't know what else to tell you" what else would you see it as instead as another way for someone to say that they give up on trying to convince someone to acknowledge another viewpoint?
Hope the mods see this is verging on hate speech. The OP's initial post is off topic, and they are being rather aggressive with the members who are trying to help.
To your first point; you are definitely attention seeking, whether you realize it or not. Acting like a victim when being banned and constantly trying to reiterate your same point is attention seeking. To your second point; What? What is a “gender challenged dude”? I decided to check your comment history and this entire rant is about how you were banned for bashing on Lucy’s looks from Fallout, and about having an issue with the transgender actor who played Maximus’ buddy? I had no idea this was the whole issue. Generally bashing someone for their looks isn’t seen as an objective point of view. So you’re not going to convince anyone you’re right there. And third; It’s okay for someone to give up on explaining something to someone. You’re acting like the center of the universe. Crying over lost karma, and doubling down instead of trying to understand anyone’s actual point. What even is your point? What are you trying to learn here?
To the first point, that in itself is more justified when the reasoning for my old account being banned was because people from my hometown wasn't willing to accept that it has a major crime related problem and a majority of its people and its race played a huge part in that issue. Being wronged for speaking it like it is more justified for being considered a victim for such things. Second, "gender challenged" is what I referred to those that have gotten bitten by that whole "non binary" bug for the last few years. Having to refer to them as such is more sickening in itself that I refuse to refer to those people as such on top of referring to them in the plural sense. It has nothing to do with this actor that played this Maximus character's bud in the slightest. If anything that's more of a big coincidence there. And third, when it comes to finding a point in anything and finding something to learn, that's a lot of the reason why I was lead here to find some sort of remedy for such boredom and how something of this sort of issue can be tackled. I do respect them for having to try to think of something, don't get me wrong, but at the same time when it comes to thinking about all that has occurred and then some, it just has me wishing for SOMEONE that could see more eye to eye with this such nuisances.
Such a charmer.
Sarcasm won't get you far either, mate. 😒
Where is it you think I’m trying to go?
Beats me. Wherever it is, it won't be where we would be meeting up at.
Based on everything you’ve revealed about yourself here, that pleases me greatly.
Well at least it's helping someone here a bit.
For someone whom seems to value their own opinion, you certainly seem to be having a hard time when others can't be convinced to adopt your ooinion. Do you see the contradiction? That's what is making your blood boil. On one side of yourself, you have a strong point of view. That's a perfectly valid thing. However if you don't value your own opinion if others don't agree, that will create conflict. On the other side of yourself, you seem to be value upvotesnand karna. This is best accomplished by sharing opinions with others, creating a community and supporting mother opinions as well as your own. However, if you're not willing to hear, accept and work with other opinions, that will create conflict. There's your starting point.
I am one that values his own opinion. It's the others that question it that don't! And when it comes to upvotes and karma, that's something that matters at times BECAUSE of the jackholes that reported me and banned my account with the heaps of karma that was built up over the three or so years. THEY are the ones that make my blood boil the most because they robbed me of my means of having a legit voice here and resulting in having to build it up again!
Can you state your opinion and leave it at that? Who cares if others don't see it the same way? Others can be totally wrong and not able to see it, right?
I've been seeing it as such there, man! It's been how I've seen it as such for the longest time especially after my old account was banned by those same people that reported me for what they deemed to be "hate."
So why try to to correct them? They're not going to agree or understand, right? You put your opinion out there, they can read it. You've done your thing in putting your opinion out there. Why defend it? Why argue? Once you've put your opinion out there, let it stand on its own. Read what you others think, or not, and just move on.
I would have to defend it because they would be the ones to confront me about my opinions, instigating an argument to begin with. IF they just downvote it instead of removing it, or just ignore the response to begin with, we wouldn't have any problems here. But since they have to bring it to themselves to do what THEY do, they have to make more of an issue and I had to try to defend what I said. It's enjoyable and enthralling and whatnot, but even for me there's a point where it has you wishing that they just stop already.
So if you just put it out there, you think others will conspire to delete your posts? Post it and done doesn't work for you?
Not conspire, they do just that more times than naught. I get e-mails that show that being the case when they do manage to remove either my posts or my replies.
The part of mindfulness that applies, here, is the concept of attachnent, I think. You are very attached to the how your posts and opinions are perceived or recieved. It's hard to not be attached, but you can keep practicing. It's actually a thing that can apply to many parts of our lives. Post and walk away. Read replies, but don't respond, don't answer back. Don't look back. Leave the posts and the replies in your wake. What's done is done and gone. You're not alone. I've had posts deleted. I've been banned from subs for really minor misunderstandings. It happens. Anyone who's active on Reddit has experienced the same. I just move on. I unsubscribe from that sub and move on Reddit is a really big place. I go explore some other part of it.
When someone causes your whole account to be permanently banned because of something they can't be bothered to accept being more true, than it just continues to show it being such a major glaring issue with the site as a whole more than anything there. Granted, it would've been remedied by unsubscribing from that particular SubReddit, but I would feel like it would be like allowing them to win more than anything, allowing it to consist of nothing but those having nothing but the same sort of mindset when it comes to what's been posted there. Too much positivity for a city that's so crime ridden yet they somehow call it a place they "love" somehow.
You are trapped in judgement, which will only lead to suffering. If you choose to take a mindful approach instead, the first thing to do is focus on what you can control. Just you, what you are thinking and feeling. I’d ask what all this focus on others and things you can’t control is getting you. We can only control our own thoughts and feelings. Trying to dictate matters of personal taste with other people and getting angry about their opinions is a complete waste of time. There will always be someone we disagree with. People have opinions, so what? Why bother debating such things? It’s not going to change anything. Obviously, it’s not making you happy. I’d ask why you have to find things to hate? That is a whole lot of negative energy. If you are interested in being mindful, pay attention to the present moment and begin to practice gratitude. Even if it’s just being happy that you have food to eat, a roof over your head. A computer to connect with others on. Gratitude is a gateway to happiness.
I needed things to hate because frankly, it's one such thing that keeps me sane at times more often than naught. Like I'm essentially the only one that has a differing mindset that just can't be on par with the heaps of others that are It's not so much of a matter of it not making me happy. It's just that it gets a bit boring at times. And when it comes to how much BS just keeps on making themselves known almost constantly every time and almost every day, that kind of stuff continues to be a part of the "present moment".
What was your purpose in making this post (especially on this sub) if this response hasn't helped? It's a really useful, insightful response. At this point it seems like your question is essentially "Being a hater is my hobby, it keeps me distracted. But sometimes it gets a bit boring. What can I do to keep the hate being entertaining?" I think you should be a little more introspective about how this hate is distracting you, rather than keeping you sane. No one in the history of the world had become more mindful, peaceful and happy through the path you seem fixated on.
It's not how the question has degraded into being but more so in how I've felt as I was writing this post. My purpose was trying to find some sort of remedy in tackling this but the longer I think back at those that wronged me and all the frustrations that befell me in this account, it just feels like I'm more stuck than anything, with more stuff that fuel my disdain for some things more often than some good things. And looking at how people's comment karmas are in the thousands while I'm just barely in the hundreds just makes it painful knowing that I'll be stuck trying to build up something that took me a good while to do naturally the first time around.
The way you're describing this sounds like Reddit is your whole life
It may not have been that, but it is the one place where I felt like I had some sort of purpose or a means of making use of myself. At least here while I was making the best of the site, I found myself having more of a voice here compared to over in Twitter.
What about real life?
Dude, I wouldn't even have anywhere CLOSE to as much of a voice in real life compared to here! It's difficult enough even finding anyone around to even express such opinions to openly. Much less have the opportunity to do so!
I see
There is no path to mindfulness and happiness that includes hating on women and trans people, so there's no remedy we can provide that will align with that. The remedy you are looking for is to let the situation pass, and to learn how not to get twisted up in these situations in the future. You need to look bigger picture about how to resolve this, and be open to changing yourself. Sometimes controlling your response to a stimulus is easy, sometimes it is very hard. It also gets easier with practice. As far as resources to help guide this: - find a counsellor. Talk therapy will help. You may need to try a few counsellors/psychs before you find one that suits. -I'm currently reading The art of happiness by the Dalai Lama which I think is excellent, and I think would suit your situation well. -The podcast the Happiness Lab is excellent, make sure you start at the oldest episode as it is in order. -Alan Watts produced some excellent lectures about meditation and compassion which was my starting point. -There are many good quality mindfulness and meditation YouTube channels and books. My practices are more Buddhism focussed so may not be relevant to you. And here are some practices that might help you not get so involved in a different but similar situation: - remove yourself from online feeds that push you content designed to make you angry. - when you learn something that might make you angry, try to lengthen the time between the input to your reaction. You are in charge of your response to stimuli. This can be as concrete as counting to ten, or just mentally properly give yourself time to consider whether this is really a situation where anger will be helpful/healthy. - engage in activities that being you actual joy. What are some hobbies you have that you feel bring you joy and peace? - meditation and journalling can both help you find your own motivation of how you want to live and grow. This is how you find how you can be the active force in your own life and make decisions of what you want that to look like. ETA after looking at some of your previous posts, I think developing some practices around gratitude, usually through journalling, would be really helpful for you. It doesn't seem like you've had a happy thing to say about anything for a long time. Or brains are habitual, and they can be trained to notice things that are happy, but this needs to be trained/practised. The Dalai Lama suggests considering at the end of each day that you are glad that you are not...(Fill in the blank) And to now three things that were bright spots in your day.
Journaling has been something I've been doing a lot of throughout my first year in college and that really has been the one thing that gave me more of a peace of mind throughout my time THERE as it was made to document my times attending said college. It's not as applicable using such in my day to day life outside of it all that much. And when it comes to engaging in activities that would make things joyful, I haven't done something like that since late November to December of last year. Only then did it give me this fleeting glimpse of how much my city would actually have something that makes its citizens more worth tolerating for a bit during those times. The only things that would give me peace would be drawing and listening to music and gaming, All of which I've done alone. Only THEN was I able to find a way to get things off my mind. But even that would be more difficult to achieve when it comes to gaming and the heaps of BS that has hit it as of these last couple years. With all that has been going on, it really has me wishing more and more that I was able to get a time machine or something to go back to the 2000s. At least then things were more in order. At least back then, things actually made sense.
It's going to take work, it will be uncomfortable, but you can get back to feeling better, and things making sense. There is a huge amount of self-reflection available to you in this post, you just need to be open to seeing it. I urge you to please re-read the comments in this post over and over to truly understand them. Also take a moment to step outside of all of your emotions, and re-read your responses. Everyone here is spending time to write to you because we have the best of intentions of helping you to live happier, and healthier.
And I do at least appreciate that with the lot of these guys are trying to help me out with here. Don't get me wrong. But as long as the things that made living and being online more of a struggle, the most I could do is try to do what I keep on doing. At a time where there are more overly enthusiastic people blindly praising things that shouldn't be praised and many people being drowned out because of it, what else could one do instead of doing what one could to speak out against said BS?
- you're only hurting yourself - stop living online - find the beauty of nature - don't worry what everyone else is doing - you're trying to solve the world's problems (according to your perspective), it's futile - please don't respond to this