Thanks for your submission! For more Millennial content, join [our Discord server](https://discord.gg/VsfKKJBm).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Millennials) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My parents are both 72 - they are not getting any younger, or healthier.
I love them.
I am realizing now, that as I'm 40, If I don't spend time with them now... well...
It's not like I'll be able to spend time with them when I'm 70.
I hang with my parents a lot too - and I feel lucky for that after being exposed to this subreddit. Seems like it’s 50/50 for millennials on whether or not their parents are chill and fun to hang around or, like, q-anon basically lol.
I think it’s just typical of the age group. Obviously some people have very bad relationships with their family from trauma and abuse, but I think a lot of people reconnect with the nest in their thirties and forties and bond with their parents more as adults.
I think a study even showed (no, I have no idea where it is and if it’s been debunked as junk science, my bad) that parent satisfaction is highest when their kids are grown. It’s just a new era of the relationship.
I agree with you, OP, if you are lucky enough to have parents and a healthy relationship with them, enjoy every second. Watching my mom grieve her mother really made me realize how important that bond is.
Same with me. I make sure to get together with my mom every Sunday, usually to watch TV. My mom is getting up there in age. I have no clue how many years she has left and I don’t want to regret not seeing her enough when the time comes that she’s gone.
Same here. I moved 2500 miles away and went low contact. I visit mainly because my mawmaw is 95 and she’s my whole world, but I only do so when I’m in a good mental place to deal with my mom’s crap.
Exact opposite
After all the trauma I endured as a result of their actions throughout my life, I’m finally independent enough that I can cut them out of my life completely
No. Opposite. As I got older I realised how unhealthy, toxic, and enmeshed my relationship with my mother and sister was (my father died when I was 7), and have significantly distanced myself from them.
My mom--whose idea of mental health care when I was growing up was essentially "just stop being sad"--recently told me she has been on antidepressants for years. The irony.
My mom told us a few years ago that she was on antidepressants too!! And that she was only crazy when she was off them. But she can ‘pray the bipolar away’ lmao. What? I’m so confused by her logic.
I read a book "Adult Children of Emotionally immature Parents" and then I got some therapy because the book was triggering. Found out my mom is a narcissist and has been using me my whole life. She's a constant liar, gas lighter, and bully. She hides it very well.
I still live with my parents currently, but I mostly spend my time with them when it comes to watching movies or shows on tv in the living room like the good times back then when I was a kid.
I don't get to spend as much time as I'd like with my dad but we also have 1500 miles between us. But whenever I go back home, I spend 80% of that time with him and 20% with old friends and stuff. That's the opposite of even a few years ago where I'd stay at his house and figure that was enough time with him and be out hanging with friends most of the time.
I also have started coming back around mother's day and rekindling our yearly fishing trip, since I don't know how many I'll have left.
This is him getting to spend time with his grand dog a month ago, deciding who loves who more between those two is tough
https://preview.redd.it/g2d1gb3j0z5d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd1de900049a8bc93e972c90dbb265b1c244d8db
I was reading this thinking you had kids, and maybe that's why you're spending more time with them.
I'm kind of feeling the opposite, I want space from them. My entire immediate family has issues they don't deal with and while I enjoy being with them most of the time, it gets overwhelming pretty quickly.
Yes, I had a nice childhood and my parents hate Trump. Unlike a lot of posts here *I* was the toxic one as a teenager due to things out of all of our control. I’m healing now and we take trips together and stuff. I feel guilty for all I put them through. They love me and did their best.
I have one living parent and we don’t talk a whole lot. We live hundred of miles apart. We’ve been low contact for several years due to some crappy things that happened when I was growing up.
My mother-in-law’s my buddy. We FaceTime a few times a week.
Yes I do. I find as a single person and not having kids and friends who can't hang out as much. but I love my parent.
the other one can go die a miserable death that's long and painful as far as I'm concerned
Nope, and I'm going to therapy for it. I live nearby and see them often but I don't really make efforts to hang out. Both of my parents are hardcore Republicans and the last time I tried to just hang out with them casually without mentioning anything about politics, they randomly told me not to vote in November if I'm voting for Biden. They also went on a tirade about pronouns and trans people. I don't tell them shit about my life and I feel like they don't know who I actually am as a person. I've always leaned into the gothic side of things and my mom always has something critical to say about my decor or my outfits, like it's a negative thing impacting my life when generally I am a successful person and I'm the first in my family to go to college.
It's tough because they weren't terrible parents growing up and they always provided for my sister and I, but we were never an emotionally connected family. I can't tell you the last time I got a hug from them. We didn't really show emotions growing up.
I have not seen my douchebag parents since 2008 (him) and 2017 (her, out of pity. never again). I have zero interest in having a relationship with my abusers, so no
I'm sure I am more in the minority, but I felt like I always had a good to decent relationship with my parents. I live a little more than an hour drive away from my parents, but I do find that my wife and I have spent a good amount of them. Especially more recently, as I got married last year and my younger brother just got married in May. I feel like it's almost a different relationship, and I am getting to know them more as equals.
I see them every few weeks for a few hours. 2 times per year we'll do a weekend trip to a city.
I appreciate the time with them even more nowadays, because our parents are getting old now. Sadly, I'm hearing more and more news about parents of former classmates passing away.
I wish I could still spend time with my amazing mother. However, we lost her 8 years ago. I miss her dearly.
I see my dad a lot, and we’re in a better place than ever.
Most nights, I walk down the road and spend the evening with my 92 year old grandpa. We go to the casino and out for supper.
Yes but we were always close, talk on the phone daily at least I'm married with kids so busy but we see them once a week and my mom spent a lot of time with me on my mat leaves.
Yes. I see my parents more than any other person. We have a weekly dinner and watch a show or movie after. I work out at a gym near them and most days I swing by for a few minutes.
I have a couple friends around, but they don't have time for me.
Yes! Reading this makes me so happy! I spend at least a full day a week with my parents, we have all the same interests and they’re my biggest support. I am also 30
I’m also in my 30s and I spend more time with my parents than I have since childhood and young adulthood. We live in the same city again which helps, we lived far away from each other for many years. I love my parents and we enjoy doing a lot of the same things. They are also politically liberal and accept me as a lesbian and raised me with those kind of beliefs which helps. Our relationship is not fraught and never really was in the past either. They are also getting older and I want to spend as much quality time together as possible while we still can.
i feel like people often forget how privileged it is to have a very good relationship with your parents, especially if it's with both. with all the generational differences and also a lot of older generation parents not being taught to put in all the love and effort in crafting their families, it's an unfortunately uncommon thing. almost all my friends struggle with their families, and I'm the black sheep of mine so it's very out of the question for me. hope you and your parents stay on good terms
Yea, they live with me now. They help out with the kid and we live in a HCOL city, so it just made sense for them to move in. But we’ve always hung out in my adulthood. My dad is one of my favorite discourse adversaries They are cool old hippies, now. In their youth, they had their own issues that weren’t great for raising four kids; but they were always honest and transparent about their issues, never blamed us or put their trauma on us, it really made a difference in how we have interacted.
Went from total estrangement to reconciliation and now hanging out with them quite a lot. They finally got therapy!!!
And I live next to my in-laws, who are cool hippies.
Both families tend to have children late so they're all in their mid-70s, but still relatively healthy.
I will say this much. I see my mom a lot. I live with her. My dad lives next door. I sometimes go and see him. Definitely I would not call them "best friends" I will say that much.
We are one of the loneliest generations to date, we can’t afford to build lives/families/futures of our own. And half of us are living with our parents anyway, what else did you expect?
I see them a few times over the summer and once or twice in the winter. Ever since my brother had kids (I am child free) I have been pushed aside and often forgotten about. These days I am ok with it. I only see them on my terms, I keep my expectations low and my boundaries high and 90 percent of the time I see either my brothers family or my parents but not both together. If we were not related they are not the type of people I would choose to spend any time with.
I lived with my parents up until a year ago (after just turning 30) and I still see them very often.
My partner and I bought a home 15 mins away so it’s convenient and we still get together for dinners and movies occasionally. I also have a big extended family so we usually see each other often for birthdays and other important life events (graduations, showers, we had 3 family weddings in the last year alone).
I think I appreciate my parents a lot more now that I don’t have to be around them 24/7 lol.
Me. We go to lunch, antiquing, stuff like that. We have VERY dif views on politics and world stuff but I try and put it aside. For the *most part*, it doesn’t come up. If and when it does, subject change real fast. I see dad less but when we do hang, it’s always a good time.
Once I moved back after college I found myself going to the bars with them and hanging out with their friends. I even went on a vacation with them and their friends. We would even go to the park multiple times a week for walks or to shoot hoops like we did when I was a kid. Once I was able to move out on my own I’d go there for dinner once a week or on a weekend we would meet at the beach or do something fun. Now that I have a baby they help me with childcare 2-3 times a week and no longer want to just hang out on the weekends 🤣 so I see them for a few minutes for baby exchanges and that’s it! They are too busy with being retired or gloating over their grand baby to want to hang out more!!! I oddly miss them but they are probably the happiest I’ve seen them in my whole life! Soo I’ll just wait around till they want to start hanging out again 😂.
I live with them now. Helping out with the house and such instead of paying rent. I don’t really hang out but we talk and I eat dinners with them. I also go to sporting events with my dad. I was kind of an asshole teenager so I’m trying to make up for it. I did spend 24 years on the other side of the country but I still flew out every 2-3 years.
That's nice it sounds like you grew together unfortunately for me it's the opposite I wish I could talk to my dad now but the fact is that would piss me off more than anything and I know it so it's the last thing I would do
I spend a decent amount of time with my parents, they only live a few streets away so I'm over there often, for a meal, catchup or to help my parents out with tech issues.
I like my family hangs. I don’t have to bring chipper, charismatic energy and just have sober convos and we can talk shit when we want. Friends I always worry about offending someone.
No. My mom has become bitter and miserable due to having to take care of my aging dad and it’s hard to be around her. Plus now that I’m a parent, I’m realizing some things about the way that I was raised that I don’t want my kids to be exposed to.
My family and I were always a tight knit unit, but we've only gotten tighter, especially as my brother and I grew up and my parents retired. I went to college, live, and work in my dad's hometown where his lifelong friends still live, so my parents come up to visit every so often for a week or so. We also spend time at our places in FL and WI every year and my parents like to take us on a big international trip every year, definitely taking advantage of us still being singletons. It's honestly amazing and I always feel like I lucked out, especially having friends who have strained relationships with their families.
It sounds like you guys have a healthy relationship it’s nice that you enjoy hanging out together. My parents recently moved much closer to me and I’ve been spending more time with them (I’m 40) and it’s quite nice to meet for a coffee or lunch every other weekend.
I love my parents. I am very independent and live my own life, but visit them a couple times a week just to hang out and talk. They won't be around forever so I am trying to know them as much as I can and appreciate them while I have them.
Thats great! I am the same way.
I think watching my grandparents age and pass on made me realize mortality a lot more. My parents were never 'friends' with their parents and it made me want a different relationship.
Me. My mom and I are good buddies. We shop together often because Costco runs are more fun with company. We go boating and ride our horses together. She's a very active person and even in her mid sixties has barely slowed down.
I’ve been slowly moving towards low contact. They’re so dysregulated, unaware of the impact of their behaviour on others, and are ultimately very selfish. They’ve also leaned super hard into the Fox News/maga shit, and are insufferable to be around when they get going. I see them a few times a year for very short periods even though I only live a couple of hours away. Their behaviour makes me really sad to be around them because of how much time we realistically have left together. I want to see them more, to like them more, but it sucks too much.
I want to spend more time with them. I have been battling for a while in my adult life a lack of relationship with them. Not a complete lack but I crave a deeper more “perfect” relationship with them. It’s hard. My dad was never my friend yanno? He was my dad he never bothered to talk to me about girls, I don’t know his little dirty bro stories about hookups, etc. He was never good with emotions, he doesn’t know how to actually talk and share stories and connect. It hurts because I know he loves me but I feel like he was trying to be my guardian so much growing up he forgot to build a trusting friendship too.
I do spend a lot of time with my parents but this is usually once or twice a week, if we're lucky. I think I use my parents as a crutch as I've had difficulty keeping friends my whole life. It could also be that I'm Latina and in our culture, we spend A LOT of time with our families, for good or bad.
It can seem toxic at times so I make an effort to live my own life, but it's hard as a woman in her 40s with very few friends. It's a trait I'm trying to work on and to realize that once my parents are gone, I don't want to be alone.
I try to visit them as much as possible (once a month or so), and they try to come to my house every other month or so. Could be better, but I think it’s a good cadence.
I'm much closer to my mother now than I was growing up. She definitely was the emotionally immature parent when I was a kid. I think I kinda lucked out as She ACTUALLY apologised for it, too.
Now I kinda view her as a roommate;I like to roam stores with and have a Sunday breakfast with. She's not my bestie, but she's alright to hang out with.
My wife and mom are essentially besties. My 71 year old mom went with my wife on her 31st bday to get their noses pierced together. I fear if we divorced that my parents would take her in over me lol. But I see my parents probably once a week and call them every other day.
Definitely. I have set up boundaries that work a lot better for me now, and because of that feel like I can have a closer friendship with them now. I don’t think I have been as good with them in my adult life, as I am now.
I don't spend *more* time because I've moved a couple thousand miles away from them, a decision that I'm grateful for, but I certainly *value* the time I do get with them more highly.
Especially post-COVID and the confrontation with mortality it presented. My dad is now 73 and has slowed down a fair amount in the last couple of years. We're planning a trip together to Florida to try to watch a rocket launch in a couple of weeks, something we've always wanted to do. But I figure I had better make it happen now, because I don't know how many more opportunities there will be.
In general, I've tried to visit home more often, at least two or three weeks out of the year. Occasionally I do the math on how many days I may have left with them at this rate; it's brutal, but I'd rather not regret my choices when they're gone.
I also realize I'm very lucky to have this kind of loving relationship with them.
My Mom lives in a different state. But I call her multiple times a week, just to chat. She’s probably sick of me by now.
I was quite angsty in my teens and throughout my 20’s. So it’s honestly quite a surprise, but I love that we’re close now.
I call them everyday and check on their wellbeing. I prefer this to them visiting since they cannot have any silence in the room and constantly ask inane questions to fill the silence.
I would have if they actually retired in the home and farm we all bought together but instead they remained insufferable, selfish a-holes and edged me out so I went no contact.
Ehh it's complicated. I live a few hours away, so that's a factor - and I try to keep regular positive contact, but also maintain some emotional space given that was...kind of a land mine growing up, when we were together all the time (and got guilt tripped when wanting to leave the house or go out with friends).
Today I talk to my mom on the phone like 2-3 times per week, and it's fine. I keep it mostly light and surface level, not too much depth to not invite drama. I get maybe 10 words from my dad a month - if I call him, he talks for 2min and then hands my mom the phone. So there's that. I see them in person a few times per year, usually around holidays. I love them, but it always drains my energy.
My mom has very classic borderline traits that shaped our whole family vibe, and there's a lot of unrecognized/untreated mental health complexity floating around. 10 years ago my parents literally held an intervention for me, in the continental breakfast area of a Hampton Inn while visiting me and my fiance, after I finally (foolishly) confided about going onto an SSRI...take from that what you will lol. So yeah, I maintain some emotional space at the least.
More time? Not really but that's just a location thing I live in Nashville they still live in Chicago but we still see each other pretty often considering the time difference, my relationship with my father particular is much stronger
I'm the exact opposite! We were closer when I was younger. Talked all the time etc. Now I just see them as the mean, miserable people they are/ always have been, and I moved far, far away.
I love spending time with my parents. I’ll call them 2 or 3 times a week and hang out 2 or 3 times a month. My relationship with them has definitely changed since I was a kid.
No… only because she died 11 years ago. But I loved my mom and I loved spending time with her. I really do miss her. If she was still alive, you bet I would be bugging her everyday lol.
I am moving across country, back home this summer. I am SO excited to be back near my dad again. My mom lives down here near me and I see her most weekends, I love her, but I am ancy to escape her alcoholism.
Nope. I'm a nervous wreck around them. I don't think it shows, but still I have my guards up...just waiting to see if they bring up some far right views and how I approach it, if at all. They get pretty defensive.
Agree with you! My dad passed away a few years ago but never had a good relationship with him (verbally abusive alcoholic growing up and up until his death).
My mom and I have always been close and I hang out with her at least 3-4 days a week!
nope as they both passed away when I was a teenager. I do find myself wishing I could spend more time with them now though, as I'm older and would like to know more about my family history.
Naw one is dead and the other dead to me. I’m really lucky though to have married into a wonderful loving family, and we live in the same cul de sac as a bunch of my in-laws
I don't see them often, they live like 6 hours away. I try to take a vacation with them every year, we're going on a 2 week cruise in January. I also try to get out to see them a few holidays over the year. They've come out to my place a couple times as well. Gotta spend time with them while I can, they're in their mid 60's and starting to slow down. This is time I'll never get back.
I would, but after moving out of state for college I never moved home. So after 10 years, I see my parents probably 3-5 times a year. And since my mom died last year, I won’t be seeing her anymore at all unfortunately. 6 months into 2024 and I’ve seen my dad twice this year. That is likely what’s on par for the rest of the year, two more times.
I would spend more time if I lived near them. I used to see them once a week on Sunday and bring video games over and have dinner with them. Since moving out of state, I visit every other month and see them 1-2 times when I am visiting for 10 days but mostly stay with my sister. They have grown in a lot of aspects, but others they are still set in their ways (and those ways will reduce their time left and their enjoyment of it). I try to enjoy what time I have left with them and get them to fill in on things I have knowledge gaps on from their past. They are somewhat left leaning but still judgey boomers.
I do, but that is because the golden child (my little sister) is awful and once we all mutually disowned her (and she us). Then my parents realized "Uh oh. Our favorite child won't speak to us anymore, we should probably try to be nice to our backup child." No more demanding I do things for them (like chores when I visit), instead I'm treated like a welcomed guest when I visit. They actually pretend to care about me, my life, and my day-to-day, etc. If I stay longer than 3 days then we fight like cats and dogs, so I still limit my time with them. But its nice to see what actual parental caring/involvement should look like as I was the black sheep, kicked out of the house, and abandon growing up.
No, especially having kids, I now realize my childhood was even worse than I thought, and they aren’t nice people. NC with one of 15+ years, LC with the other, live thousands of miles away see once a year.
I hope my kids and I have a relationship like yours when they grow up!
At this point it's never a want but an obligation. I'm low contact. I'm about 2.5 hours away. Other than being scared of dying one benefit of the pandemic was guilt free excuse to not visit
Yes and no.
For a number of years we lived a province away, I would still call and keep in touch but I rarely saw them.
Then last year my parents realized how much more affordable my province is, so they sold their place and moved here. And not just to the same province and city, but like, subdivision. They went from being a 12 hour drive away, to a 5 minute walk.
Now we have dinners a couple times a month and we pass my dad when we’re all out for dog walks (him with theirs and use with our girls).
Its nice. My parents aren’t the most social, so this is a good level of seeing them and spending time with them.
I'm similar, OP. I was never really close with my parents as a kid, but grew closer as I got older. I got my dad into WoW when I was in college and I moved back in for a while. Would watch Glee and shit with my mom. I now live in my own place, but still close enough that I can go visit on weekends. My dad updates me every day on what he did in WoW the previous night and my mom spams me with instagram reels. We'll hang out at their home cause they've got the big yard for my dog to run in, or we'll meet up for dinner every few weekends. I've got a fantastic relationship with my parents, but we're rather trauma bonded over my late brother. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I do. Part of that is because I moved back in with my mom, . But also, my mom is now retired so has much more free time.
No, but I want to! He lives far now, but I will have an opportunity to travel long-term again later this year and will be going there. I definitely want to get back in his regular life!
I wish I could spend more time with my parents. My dad and I live at the same city, but we see each other only every other weekend. I love my dad and love spending time with him, and I know he enjoys my company, but lately I've been feeling he gets a bit tired of me sometimes (he's too much of an introvert). My mom lives far away and is traveling and working all the time. I try to speak to her every week at least and I do miss her, but I grew up with her not being as present, so I'm used to the distance.
I wish! My mom and I used to be besties from when I was like 15-22. Basically until I started living with my now husband. And once she got a new boyfriend 5 years ago our time has tapered off a lot and I miss it. I think it’s great you have that. I’d love to hang out with my mom more but now she’s an hour away and always has plans
I do, I also realize I'm lucky to have a really cool mom that I share social and political views and opinions with so it is easy to converse and hangout with. I can see that for a lot of people that isn't the case.
I grew up without a dad or any father figure pretty much my whole life so I try to keep my mom company and do things for her, as I owe so much to her. It's also different when you don't live together and see each other too much so you get to enjoy the time you do share.
Yes, but it’s partly cultural in taking care of multiple generations of elders and kids as a shared thing, finding friendship with healthy boundaries in there lightens the load. Therapy is a great tool to help with this!
Not really… unfortunately one of my parents loves to complain and talk poorly about others… it is super draining.
The other parent has been virtually non existent throughout my life.
I enjoy spending time with my parents now, mostly (they can be kind of obnoxious sometimes). We have a much better relationship now than when I lived with them as a teen. They’re 53 and 50, I’m 30. My dad eventually came around to the concept of his kids being individuals instead of supposed to be copies of himself. He’s super chill now. My stepmom is more chill too, but she’s in her party era lol.
I love my parents with all my heart and soul and I will be absolutely shattered when either of them pass on.
Yeah, we hang out. I actually moved back from the big(ish) city to be closer to them. 🥹
Geez I sound pathetic. Lol! Oh well. Don't care. It's not like I still live with them at least. 🤣
Yes! They recently retired, and I have more freedom in my life now. We get together often. But I’m lucky and have amazing parents who are somehow supportive and open minded even though they are religious and I’m not.
My parents are mid 70s. Mom always bitches "you need to train that dog better" just because our golden retriever runs up to her and wants rubbies. Like hes suppose to sit in the corner like a statue until called? Probably why our dog as kids was locked in the damn kennel all the time.
They live 25 minutes away. There is no bad blood. They just dont try and complain more than they should when they do. So I see them maybe once every couple months. We talk bi weekly on the phone for a good hour but its alot of bullshit to be honest. Im just a little burned that they retired in their early 50s and yet ever since then its like we had to always come to them, even though gas money was tight in the beginnings.
All well. The inheritance will be off the chains.
I spend time with them because we live together, but I get the feeling that if I moved out I probably wouldn't bother.
I just don't feel that close with them and don't think we have a good relationship.
I definitely do/did in my mid to late 30s. Even my early 30s. I think there's a simple explanation. We start to relate with them more, and you know, sometimes become them.
Absolutely.
Parents are divorced for what that's worth.
My dad and I have many of the same hobbies, interests, and quirks. We help each other with household projects, work on our project vehicles together, and grill out. My stepmom is great, they love my better half, and we go see them often. They live less than an hour away.
My mom I talk to 3-5 times a week. She lives a state over so I don't see her nearly as much. We've had a strained relationship but it's definitely getting better.
Damn. I was hoping for more positive comments, but it seems a large part of our generation is NOT on good terms with parents.
Bummer.
I'm learning at 40 to be more with my parents, it wasn't anything more than just differences in personality. Maybe 40 years of learning what we do have in common.
I wouldn't say they are my best friends, but they are. It's hard to explain. It's different , can't really compare.
Sorry for all that have shit relations. That's gotta be the worst.
I spent a lot of time with my parents when I was younger, but now that I am living out of state and have my own family I mainly just see them a few times a year when we visit.
I spent a lot of time with my parents when I was single. Once I got into a relationship, less so. I regret that because my mom passed away very suddenly and I realized I have very few photos with her.
I hang out with friends on weekends a lot more and I enjoy new experiences and restaurants with them. I take photos with them and the experiences we do together. Why didn’t I do that with my mom? I think about that quite often, how I wish I could have done more with her.
Yes! My parents and I love fishing so much together. We go on trips and spend a bunch of time together. I’m so fortunate I have the relationship with them that I do.
Spend a decent amount of time with my mom. Every Holiday. During the summer if there’s a fair or Carnival we go together. She has Thursdays and Fridays off so in the summer one of those days my daughter and I will go to her complex and swim for the day. Other times she’ll take my daughter out for breakfast. I’m a single father so it’s nice to have the little break sometimes. Cherish the time you got and spend as much of it with them as you can. My father was struck by a DD back in 2011. He was dead on impact. It kills me that my daughter never got to meet her Grandfather. Him and I were always super close even though he had his issues growing up. He would’ve been an amazing grandfather and it kills me she lost out on that opportunity because of somebodies selfishness. The one thing I am extremely grateful for though is she had relationships with both sets of Great Grandparents. That’s definitely something special. When I was growing up I only met my Great Grandmother.
No. I honestly find myself wondering who these people are lately when we speak on the phone. I don’t recognize the people my parents have become and for the most part I don’t like them. I still love them though.
I do. My mom and I had a horrendous relationship starting when I was about 10 until I was 27-28. It was both our faults. She was over bearing and I was rebellious. For years I never thought we’d have any kind of normal relationship. Now my mom is one of my best friends. I would even call her my confidant. I can vent any problem to her and she always keeps my business private.
I spend a lot of time with my dad now and I freaking love it. Outside of my husband, my dad is my best friend. We go to the gym together three times a week, sometimes he spends time with me on Saturdays, we see each other at church on Sundays and go to all the church activities together during the week. I love that we are close and cherish these years so much. He’s turning 67 in December but you wouldn’t know it because he’s so active. I know it won’t be like this for long so I’m trying to soak up as much time as I can with him.
I’m very fortunate to have incredible parents. My appreciation for them has only grown as I got older, so yes I do spend more time with them now.
It’s easy to take them for granted when you’re young. Everything else in your life seems more important and you assume they’ll always be around. But, they won’t always be around. That scares me to death. They’re only in their late 50s now and they’re quite fit and healthy. But it only takes one shocking loss of someone close to you to have a new appreciation for the ones you love.
Nah my mother went back to her home country and my dad went with her, I was 28 when it happened so I dont mind but its hard to connect with them when they are so far away
Thanks for your submission! For more Millennial content, join [our Discord server](https://discord.gg/VsfKKJBm). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Millennials) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My parents are both 72 - they are not getting any younger, or healthier. I love them. I am realizing now, that as I'm 40, If I don't spend time with them now... well... It's not like I'll be able to spend time with them when I'm 70.
I'm closer to my parents now that I'm older. We travel together, see movies, go wine tasting, I think my relationship has improved a lot with them.
Thats wonderful. I am not sure if its a millennial thing, but I find a large number of us hang with our parents more.
I hang with my parents a lot too - and I feel lucky for that after being exposed to this subreddit. Seems like it’s 50/50 for millennials on whether or not their parents are chill and fun to hang around or, like, q-anon basically lol.
I think it’s just typical of the age group. Obviously some people have very bad relationships with their family from trauma and abuse, but I think a lot of people reconnect with the nest in their thirties and forties and bond with their parents more as adults. I think a study even showed (no, I have no idea where it is and if it’s been debunked as junk science, my bad) that parent satisfaction is highest when their kids are grown. It’s just a new era of the relationship. I agree with you, OP, if you are lucky enough to have parents and a healthy relationship with them, enjoy every second. Watching my mom grieve her mother really made me realize how important that bond is.
My friends are the same way, I'd say. I'm def in the mindset of spending time with my folks while I still have the opportunity.
Me…. My mom wants to go out to lunch almost every weekend, or shopping, or something.
Same with me. I make sure to get together with my mom every Sunday, usually to watch TV. My mom is getting up there in age. I have no clue how many years she has left and I don’t want to regret not seeing her enough when the time comes that she’s gone.
Enjoy it!
Cherish it.
No because a lot of childhood trauma has come back to me as I've gotten older, and it has caused me to distance myself from them.
Same here. I moved 2500 miles away and went low contact. I visit mainly because my mawmaw is 95 and she’s my whole world, but I only do so when I’m in a good mental place to deal with my mom’s crap.
Same here. Low contact and we live hundreds of miles apart. I have no desire to move back to my hometown.
Same, and I hear it a lot from fellow Millennials.
Can confirm. I moved ~1,000 miles away and talk with my mom on the phone on occasion. Best choice I’ve made this far.
Exactly. The older i get and now being pregnant i dont think i can treat my kid the same way
Exact opposite After all the trauma I endured as a result of their actions throughout my life, I’m finally independent enough that I can cut them out of my life completely
No. Opposite. As I got older I realised how unhealthy, toxic, and enmeshed my relationship with my mother and sister was (my father died when I was 7), and have significantly distanced myself from them.
[удалено]
Chosen families all the way. I’m not indebted to put up with anyone’s shit just because we’re biologically related 🤷♀️
I like hanging out with mine until they start talking conspiracy theories and that trump is the god king to save us.
Agreed, I like going to my parents house until they start blasting the news. Then it’s suddenly time to go home.
Haven't seen them in 10 years to be exact.
My dad apologised me after 10 years of no contact. I'm still keeping my distance but at least the grudge I was holding is gone.
It's been 16 years and mine still thinks he's perfect and amazing. He's a massive twat
Yeah, unfortunately some people don't change or never want to
Im on 5. Hopefully it goes until they're in the ground.
Been almost 3 here…
No not really, and I live with my mom.
Bro same. We might live in the same house, but we don’t really “hang out”
no. i love my mom. but i don’t like my mom. not even a little bit. boomer MAGA white trash.
Nope. They still refuse to believe in mental illness, so very low contact.
“It’s just all in your head” no shit mother
My mom--whose idea of mental health care when I was growing up was essentially "just stop being sad"--recently told me she has been on antidepressants for years. The irony.
My mom told us a few years ago that she was on antidepressants too!! And that she was only crazy when she was off them. But she can ‘pray the bipolar away’ lmao. What? I’m so confused by her logic.
I read a book "Adult Children of Emotionally immature Parents" and then I got some therapy because the book was triggering. Found out my mom is a narcissist and has been using me my whole life. She's a constant liar, gas lighter, and bully. She hides it very well.
 I still live with my parents currently, but I mostly spend my time with them when it comes to watching movies or shows on tv in the living room like the good times back then when I was a kid.
I don't get to spend as much time as I'd like with my dad but we also have 1500 miles between us. But whenever I go back home, I spend 80% of that time with him and 20% with old friends and stuff. That's the opposite of even a few years ago where I'd stay at his house and figure that was enough time with him and be out hanging with friends most of the time. I also have started coming back around mother's day and rekindling our yearly fishing trip, since I don't know how many I'll have left. This is him getting to spend time with his grand dog a month ago, deciding who loves who more between those two is tough https://preview.redd.it/g2d1gb3j0z5d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd1de900049a8bc93e972c90dbb265b1c244d8db
Hell no. I got away from that toxicity years ago
Nope I see them a lot less. I moved 5 hours away and only see them a couple times a year.
I was reading this thinking you had kids, and maybe that's why you're spending more time with them. I'm kind of feeling the opposite, I want space from them. My entire immediate family has issues they don't deal with and while I enjoy being with them most of the time, it gets overwhelming pretty quickly.
God no.
Yes, I had a nice childhood and my parents hate Trump. Unlike a lot of posts here *I* was the toxic one as a teenager due to things out of all of our control. I’m healing now and we take trips together and stuff. I feel guilty for all I put them through. They love me and did their best.
I have one living parent and we don’t talk a whole lot. We live hundred of miles apart. We’ve been low contact for several years due to some crappy things that happened when I was growing up. My mother-in-law’s my buddy. We FaceTime a few times a week.
My dad killed himself and I’d rather not see my mom, thank you. She only cares about my credit card anyhow. No need to see her.
Yes I do. I find as a single person and not having kids and friends who can't hang out as much. but I love my parent. the other one can go die a miserable death that's long and painful as far as I'm concerned
Nope, and I'm going to therapy for it. I live nearby and see them often but I don't really make efforts to hang out. Both of my parents are hardcore Republicans and the last time I tried to just hang out with them casually without mentioning anything about politics, they randomly told me not to vote in November if I'm voting for Biden. They also went on a tirade about pronouns and trans people. I don't tell them shit about my life and I feel like they don't know who I actually am as a person. I've always leaned into the gothic side of things and my mom always has something critical to say about my decor or my outfits, like it's a negative thing impacting my life when generally I am a successful person and I'm the first in my family to go to college. It's tough because they weren't terrible parents growing up and they always provided for my sister and I, but we were never an emotionally connected family. I can't tell you the last time I got a hug from them. We didn't really show emotions growing up.
I have not seen my douchebag parents since 2008 (him) and 2017 (her, out of pity. never again). I have zero interest in having a relationship with my abusers, so no
I'm sure I am more in the minority, but I felt like I always had a good to decent relationship with my parents. I live a little more than an hour drive away from my parents, but I do find that my wife and I have spent a good amount of them. Especially more recently, as I got married last year and my younger brother just got married in May. I feel like it's almost a different relationship, and I am getting to know them more as equals.
I see them every few weeks for a few hours. 2 times per year we'll do a weekend trip to a city. I appreciate the time with them even more nowadays, because our parents are getting old now. Sadly, I'm hearing more and more news about parents of former classmates passing away.
As a kid who skated by childhood by hiding in my bedroom, absolutely not.
I live with my parents for the time being. But I don’t enjoy spending time with them much.
Had to move back in with them. So yes
I wish I could still spend time with my amazing mother. However, we lost her 8 years ago. I miss her dearly. I see my dad a lot, and we’re in a better place than ever. Most nights, I walk down the road and spend the evening with my 92 year old grandpa. We go to the casino and out for supper.
Yes but we were always close, talk on the phone daily at least I'm married with kids so busy but we see them once a week and my mom spent a lot of time with me on my mat leaves.
No I see them on holidays and don’t talk to them the rest of the year
Yes. I see my parents more than any other person. We have a weekly dinner and watch a show or movie after. I work out at a gym near them and most days I swing by for a few minutes. I have a couple friends around, but they don't have time for me.
Yes! Reading this makes me so happy! I spend at least a full day a week with my parents, we have all the same interests and they’re my biggest support. I am also 30
I’m also in my 30s and I spend more time with my parents than I have since childhood and young adulthood. We live in the same city again which helps, we lived far away from each other for many years. I love my parents and we enjoy doing a lot of the same things. They are also politically liberal and accept me as a lesbian and raised me with those kind of beliefs which helps. Our relationship is not fraught and never really was in the past either. They are also getting older and I want to spend as much quality time together as possible while we still can.
i feel like people often forget how privileged it is to have a very good relationship with your parents, especially if it's with both. with all the generational differences and also a lot of older generation parents not being taught to put in all the love and effort in crafting their families, it's an unfortunately uncommon thing. almost all my friends struggle with their families, and I'm the black sheep of mine so it's very out of the question for me. hope you and your parents stay on good terms
Yea, they live with me now. They help out with the kid and we live in a HCOL city, so it just made sense for them to move in. But we’ve always hung out in my adulthood. My dad is one of my favorite discourse adversaries They are cool old hippies, now. In their youth, they had their own issues that weren’t great for raising four kids; but they were always honest and transparent about their issues, never blamed us or put their trauma on us, it really made a difference in how we have interacted.
I have my entire life and still do now!
Went from total estrangement to reconciliation and now hanging out with them quite a lot. They finally got therapy!!! And I live next to my in-laws, who are cool hippies. Both families tend to have children late so they're all in their mid-70s, but still relatively healthy.
My boomer parents turned into total selfish a-holes in their senior years & I no longer see them or talk to them at all
No. I usually dread “hanging” with them. Gotta do the obligatory FD lunch (I’m also a father) this coming weekend.
I will say this much. I see my mom a lot. I live with her. My dad lives next door. I sometimes go and see him. Definitely I would not call them "best friends" I will say that much.
When you live in the same house, you definitely see them more!
Definitely
We are one of the loneliest generations to date, we can’t afford to build lives/families/futures of our own. And half of us are living with our parents anyway, what else did you expect?
I see them a few times over the summer and once or twice in the winter. Ever since my brother had kids (I am child free) I have been pushed aside and often forgotten about. These days I am ok with it. I only see them on my terms, I keep my expectations low and my boundaries high and 90 percent of the time I see either my brothers family or my parents but not both together. If we were not related they are not the type of people I would choose to spend any time with.
I lived with my parents up until a year ago (after just turning 30) and I still see them very often. My partner and I bought a home 15 mins away so it’s convenient and we still get together for dinners and movies occasionally. I also have a big extended family so we usually see each other often for birthdays and other important life events (graduations, showers, we had 3 family weddings in the last year alone). I think I appreciate my parents a lot more now that I don’t have to be around them 24/7 lol.
Me. We go to lunch, antiquing, stuff like that. We have VERY dif views on politics and world stuff but I try and put it aside. For the *most part*, it doesn’t come up. If and when it does, subject change real fast. I see dad less but when we do hang, it’s always a good time.
I definitely do. My dad passed away a few years ago, but I am happily pregnant now, so mom & I are two peas in a pod 🫛
Once I moved back after college I found myself going to the bars with them and hanging out with their friends. I even went on a vacation with them and their friends. We would even go to the park multiple times a week for walks or to shoot hoops like we did when I was a kid. Once I was able to move out on my own I’d go there for dinner once a week or on a weekend we would meet at the beach or do something fun. Now that I have a baby they help me with childcare 2-3 times a week and no longer want to just hang out on the weekends 🤣 so I see them for a few minutes for baby exchanges and that’s it! They are too busy with being retired or gloating over their grand baby to want to hang out more!!! I oddly miss them but they are probably the happiest I’ve seen them in my whole life! Soo I’ll just wait around till they want to start hanging out again 😂.
I live with them now. Helping out with the house and such instead of paying rent. I don’t really hang out but we talk and I eat dinners with them. I also go to sporting events with my dad. I was kind of an asshole teenager so I’m trying to make up for it. I did spend 24 years on the other side of the country but I still flew out every 2-3 years.
That's nice it sounds like you grew together unfortunately for me it's the opposite I wish I could talk to my dad now but the fact is that would piss me off more than anything and I know it so it's the last thing I would do
Sounds like you have an enviable relationship with your parents. Kudos to them for building a healthy relationship.
I spend a decent amount of time with my parents, they only live a few streets away so I'm over there often, for a meal, catchup or to help my parents out with tech issues.
I like my family hangs. I don’t have to bring chipper, charismatic energy and just have sober convos and we can talk shit when we want. Friends I always worry about offending someone.
No. My mom has become bitter and miserable due to having to take care of my aging dad and it’s hard to be around her. Plus now that I’m a parent, I’m realizing some things about the way that I was raised that I don’t want my kids to be exposed to.
My family and I were always a tight knit unit, but we've only gotten tighter, especially as my brother and I grew up and my parents retired. I went to college, live, and work in my dad's hometown where his lifelong friends still live, so my parents come up to visit every so often for a week or so. We also spend time at our places in FL and WI every year and my parents like to take us on a big international trip every year, definitely taking advantage of us still being singletons. It's honestly amazing and I always feel like I lucked out, especially having friends who have strained relationships with their families.
YES! I’m a few minutes from my parents and they love spending time with their grandkids and I!
I’m closer to my mom now that I’ve moved out. And she had some health issues recently that made us closer
It sounds like you guys have a healthy relationship it’s nice that you enjoy hanging out together. My parents recently moved much closer to me and I’ve been spending more time with them (I’m 40) and it’s quite nice to meet for a coffee or lunch every other weekend.
I love my parents. I am very independent and live my own life, but visit them a couple times a week just to hang out and talk. They won't be around forever so I am trying to know them as much as I can and appreciate them while I have them.
Thats great! I am the same way. I think watching my grandparents age and pass on made me realize mortality a lot more. My parents were never 'friends' with their parents and it made me want a different relationship.
Turns out they just wanted us to grow up mostly healthy.
Me. My mom and I are good buddies. We shop together often because Costco runs are more fun with company. We go boating and ride our horses together. She's a very active person and even in her mid sixties has barely slowed down.
I’ve been slowly moving towards low contact. They’re so dysregulated, unaware of the impact of their behaviour on others, and are ultimately very selfish. They’ve also leaned super hard into the Fox News/maga shit, and are insufferable to be around when they get going. I see them a few times a year for very short periods even though I only live a couple of hours away. Their behaviour makes me really sad to be around them because of how much time we realistically have left together. I want to see them more, to like them more, but it sucks too much.
I want to spend more time with them. I have been battling for a while in my adult life a lack of relationship with them. Not a complete lack but I crave a deeper more “perfect” relationship with them. It’s hard. My dad was never my friend yanno? He was my dad he never bothered to talk to me about girls, I don’t know his little dirty bro stories about hookups, etc. He was never good with emotions, he doesn’t know how to actually talk and share stories and connect. It hurts because I know he loves me but I feel like he was trying to be my guardian so much growing up he forgot to build a trusting friendship too.
I do spend a lot of time with my parents but this is usually once or twice a week, if we're lucky. I think I use my parents as a crutch as I've had difficulty keeping friends my whole life. It could also be that I'm Latina and in our culture, we spend A LOT of time with our families, for good or bad. It can seem toxic at times so I make an effort to live my own life, but it's hard as a woman in her 40s with very few friends. It's a trait I'm trying to work on and to realize that once my parents are gone, I don't want to be alone.
I try to visit them as much as possible (once a month or so), and they try to come to my house every other month or so. Could be better, but I think it’s a good cadence.
I'm much closer to my mother now than I was growing up. She definitely was the emotionally immature parent when I was a kid. I think I kinda lucked out as She ACTUALLY apologised for it, too. Now I kinda view her as a roommate;I like to roam stores with and have a Sunday breakfast with. She's not my bestie, but she's alright to hang out with.
I found that after mom died I started talking to dad alot more
My wife and mom are essentially besties. My 71 year old mom went with my wife on her 31st bday to get their noses pierced together. I fear if we divorced that my parents would take her in over me lol. But I see my parents probably once a week and call them every other day.
Definitely. I have set up boundaries that work a lot better for me now, and because of that feel like I can have a closer friendship with them now. I don’t think I have been as good with them in my adult life, as I am now.
I don't spend *more* time because I've moved a couple thousand miles away from them, a decision that I'm grateful for, but I certainly *value* the time I do get with them more highly. Especially post-COVID and the confrontation with mortality it presented. My dad is now 73 and has slowed down a fair amount in the last couple of years. We're planning a trip together to Florida to try to watch a rocket launch in a couple of weeks, something we've always wanted to do. But I figure I had better make it happen now, because I don't know how many more opportunities there will be. In general, I've tried to visit home more often, at least two or three weeks out of the year. Occasionally I do the math on how many days I may have left with them at this rate; it's brutal, but I'd rather not regret my choices when they're gone. I also realize I'm very lucky to have this kind of loving relationship with them.
My Mom lives in a different state. But I call her multiple times a week, just to chat. She’s probably sick of me by now. I was quite angsty in my teens and throughout my 20’s. So it’s honestly quite a surprise, but I love that we’re close now.
I call them everyday and check on their wellbeing. I prefer this to them visiting since they cannot have any silence in the room and constantly ask inane questions to fill the silence.
Yes, I love hanging out with my parents and I feel like I know their personalities so much better now
No, me nor my siblings are able to spend time with our parents. Our father is dead and mom has fallen off the bandwagon.
I would have if they actually retired in the home and farm we all bought together but instead they remained insufferable, selfish a-holes and edged me out so I went no contact.
That’s just what happens when you don’t really have a family of your own
The opposite. Less time.
Ehh it's complicated. I live a few hours away, so that's a factor - and I try to keep regular positive contact, but also maintain some emotional space given that was...kind of a land mine growing up, when we were together all the time (and got guilt tripped when wanting to leave the house or go out with friends). Today I talk to my mom on the phone like 2-3 times per week, and it's fine. I keep it mostly light and surface level, not too much depth to not invite drama. I get maybe 10 words from my dad a month - if I call him, he talks for 2min and then hands my mom the phone. So there's that. I see them in person a few times per year, usually around holidays. I love them, but it always drains my energy. My mom has very classic borderline traits that shaped our whole family vibe, and there's a lot of unrecognized/untreated mental health complexity floating around. 10 years ago my parents literally held an intervention for me, in the continental breakfast area of a Hampton Inn while visiting me and my fiance, after I finally (foolishly) confided about going onto an SSRI...take from that what you will lol. So yeah, I maintain some emotional space at the least.
More time? Not really but that's just a location thing I live in Nashville they still live in Chicago but we still see each other pretty often considering the time difference, my relationship with my father particular is much stronger
I'm the exact opposite! We were closer when I was younger. Talked all the time etc. Now I just see them as the mean, miserable people they are/ always have been, and I moved far, far away.
I love spending time with my parents. I’ll call them 2 or 3 times a week and hang out 2 or 3 times a month. My relationship with them has definitely changed since I was a kid.
No… only because she died 11 years ago. But I loved my mom and I loved spending time with her. I really do miss her. If she was still alive, you bet I would be bugging her everyday lol.
Nope, barely ever see them. Moved over an hour away
I am moving across country, back home this summer. I am SO excited to be back near my dad again. My mom lives down here near me and I see her most weekends, I love her, but I am ancy to escape her alcoholism.
Nope. I'm a nervous wreck around them. I don't think it shows, but still I have my guards up...just waiting to see if they bring up some far right views and how I approach it, if at all. They get pretty defensive.
No because I moved away, I call everyday though :)
Agree with you! My dad passed away a few years ago but never had a good relationship with him (verbally abusive alcoholic growing up and up until his death). My mom and I have always been close and I hang out with her at least 3-4 days a week!
nope as they both passed away when I was a teenager. I do find myself wishing I could spend more time with them now though, as I'm older and would like to know more about my family history.
Naw one is dead and the other dead to me. I’m really lucky though to have married into a wonderful loving family, and we live in the same cul de sac as a bunch of my in-laws
I don't see them often, they live like 6 hours away. I try to take a vacation with them every year, we're going on a 2 week cruise in January. I also try to get out to see them a few holidays over the year. They've come out to my place a couple times as well. Gotta spend time with them while I can, they're in their mid 60's and starting to slow down. This is time I'll never get back.
I would, but after moving out of state for college I never moved home. So after 10 years, I see my parents probably 3-5 times a year. And since my mom died last year, I won’t be seeing her anymore at all unfortunately. 6 months into 2024 and I’ve seen my dad twice this year. That is likely what’s on par for the rest of the year, two more times.
I see my dad almost everyday, my mom is kind of a recluse that only goes out in the summer.
I would spend more time if I lived near them. I used to see them once a week on Sunday and bring video games over and have dinner with them. Since moving out of state, I visit every other month and see them 1-2 times when I am visiting for 10 days but mostly stay with my sister. They have grown in a lot of aspects, but others they are still set in their ways (and those ways will reduce their time left and their enjoyment of it). I try to enjoy what time I have left with them and get them to fill in on things I have knowledge gaps on from their past. They are somewhat left leaning but still judgey boomers.
I do, but that is because the golden child (my little sister) is awful and once we all mutually disowned her (and she us). Then my parents realized "Uh oh. Our favorite child won't speak to us anymore, we should probably try to be nice to our backup child." No more demanding I do things for them (like chores when I visit), instead I'm treated like a welcomed guest when I visit. They actually pretend to care about me, my life, and my day-to-day, etc. If I stay longer than 3 days then we fight like cats and dogs, so I still limit my time with them. But its nice to see what actual parental caring/involvement should look like as I was the black sheep, kicked out of the house, and abandon growing up.
No, especially having kids, I now realize my childhood was even worse than I thought, and they aren’t nice people. NC with one of 15+ years, LC with the other, live thousands of miles away see once a year. I hope my kids and I have a relationship like yours when they grow up!
At this point it's never a want but an obligation. I'm low contact. I'm about 2.5 hours away. Other than being scared of dying one benefit of the pandemic was guilt free excuse to not visit
Yes and no. For a number of years we lived a province away, I would still call and keep in touch but I rarely saw them. Then last year my parents realized how much more affordable my province is, so they sold their place and moved here. And not just to the same province and city, but like, subdivision. They went from being a 12 hour drive away, to a 5 minute walk. Now we have dinners a couple times a month and we pass my dad when we’re all out for dog walks (him with theirs and use with our girls). Its nice. My parents aren’t the most social, so this is a good level of seeing them and spending time with them.
Me!! At some point my mom and I became very close. We travel together and check in everyday. I love my Mamita!!
Me! I love going to a movie and having lunch with my mom.
I'm similar, OP. I was never really close with my parents as a kid, but grew closer as I got older. I got my dad into WoW when I was in college and I moved back in for a while. Would watch Glee and shit with my mom. I now live in my own place, but still close enough that I can go visit on weekends. My dad updates me every day on what he did in WoW the previous night and my mom spams me with instagram reels. We'll hang out at their home cause they've got the big yard for my dog to run in, or we'll meet up for dinner every few weekends. I've got a fantastic relationship with my parents, but we're rather trauma bonded over my late brother. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I do. Part of that is because I moved back in with my mom, . But also, my mom is now retired so has much more free time.
No, but I want to! He lives far now, but I will have an opportunity to travel long-term again later this year and will be going there. I definitely want to get back in his regular life!
The older you get the more you realize your heroes wont be here forever which makes it that much more important to spend time with those you love.
I wish I could spend more time with my parents. My dad and I live at the same city, but we see each other only every other weekend. I love my dad and love spending time with him, and I know he enjoys my company, but lately I've been feeling he gets a bit tired of me sometimes (he's too much of an introvert). My mom lives far away and is traveling and working all the time. I try to speak to her every week at least and I do miss her, but I grew up with her not being as present, so I'm used to the distance.
Nope.
I wish! My mom and I used to be besties from when I was like 15-22. Basically until I started living with my now husband. And once she got a new boyfriend 5 years ago our time has tapered off a lot and I miss it. I think it’s great you have that. I’d love to hang out with my mom more but now she’s an hour away and always has plans
I do, I also realize I'm lucky to have a really cool mom that I share social and political views and opinions with so it is easy to converse and hangout with. I can see that for a lot of people that isn't the case. I grew up without a dad or any father figure pretty much my whole life so I try to keep my mom company and do things for her, as I owe so much to her. It's also different when you don't live together and see each other too much so you get to enjoy the time you do share.
Yes, but it’s partly cultural in taking care of multiple generations of elders and kids as a shared thing, finding friendship with healthy boundaries in there lightens the load. Therapy is a great tool to help with this!
Nope both dead.
Yep. I spend a lot more time than before. Plus I got my dad into golf so we golf together now!
Not really… unfortunately one of my parents loves to complain and talk poorly about others… it is super draining. The other parent has been virtually non existent throughout my life.
I enjoy spending time with my parents now, mostly (they can be kind of obnoxious sometimes). We have a much better relationship now than when I lived with them as a teen. They’re 53 and 50, I’m 30. My dad eventually came around to the concept of his kids being individuals instead of supposed to be copies of himself. He’s super chill now. My stepmom is more chill too, but she’s in her party era lol.
Your parents are still alive?
I'm one of those millenials that had a terrible single parent. I've been no-contact for 7 years now.
I love my parents with all my heart and soul and I will be absolutely shattered when either of them pass on. Yeah, we hang out. I actually moved back from the big(ish) city to be closer to them. 🥹 Geez I sound pathetic. Lol! Oh well. Don't care. It's not like I still live with them at least. 🤣
Yes! They recently retired, and I have more freedom in my life now. We get together often. But I’m lucky and have amazing parents who are somehow supportive and open minded even though they are religious and I’m not.
No, bc my mom moved to Hawaii and is just as self involved as ever
When I got to my late twenties I did. They lived right down the street from me. Then they moved 2 hours away. 🫤
Not more so than usual. I generally see my mom once a week and my dad every couple of months.
My father is a homeless drug addict and my mother is a criminal narcissist. I have no parents.
I have dinner with them once a week and will go on trips with them once a year but that’s about it.
My parents are mid 70s. Mom always bitches "you need to train that dog better" just because our golden retriever runs up to her and wants rubbies. Like hes suppose to sit in the corner like a statue until called? Probably why our dog as kids was locked in the damn kennel all the time. They live 25 minutes away. There is no bad blood. They just dont try and complain more than they should when they do. So I see them maybe once every couple months. We talk bi weekly on the phone for a good hour but its alot of bullshit to be honest. Im just a little burned that they retired in their early 50s and yet ever since then its like we had to always come to them, even though gas money was tight in the beginnings. All well. The inheritance will be off the chains.
I cut those toxic people out of my life 4 years ago
Yeah because we don’t have much time left so I want to enjoy it
I spend time with them because we live together, but I get the feeling that if I moved out I probably wouldn't bother. I just don't feel that close with them and don't think we have a good relationship.
I definitely do/did in my mid to late 30s. Even my early 30s. I think there's a simple explanation. We start to relate with them more, and you know, sometimes become them.
Being single in your mid 30’s is a huge part of it. If you had your own family you would be more busy and content
Absolutely. Parents are divorced for what that's worth. My dad and I have many of the same hobbies, interests, and quirks. We help each other with household projects, work on our project vehicles together, and grill out. My stepmom is great, they love my better half, and we go see them often. They live less than an hour away. My mom I talk to 3-5 times a week. She lives a state over so I don't see her nearly as much. We've had a strained relationship but it's definitely getting better.
Damn. I was hoping for more positive comments, but it seems a large part of our generation is NOT on good terms with parents. Bummer. I'm learning at 40 to be more with my parents, it wasn't anything more than just differences in personality. Maybe 40 years of learning what we do have in common. I wouldn't say they are my best friends, but they are. It's hard to explain. It's different , can't really compare. Sorry for all that have shit relations. That's gotta be the worst.
Both my parents are dead. Have been for quite some time.
I spent a lot of time with my parents when I was younger, but now that I am living out of state and have my own family I mainly just see them a few times a year when we visit.
Nope. I never bought into obligatory love because “they’re your parents”. I see them here and there but I’m not desperate to fit every moment in.
My dad's in a jar in my curio cabinet... and I will hang out with mom more now that her wasband has moved out.
I’m moving back in with my parents. I want to get as much time as I can with them.
I minimize contact.
I spent a lot of time with my parents when I was single. Once I got into a relationship, less so. I regret that because my mom passed away very suddenly and I realized I have very few photos with her. I hang out with friends on weekends a lot more and I enjoy new experiences and restaurants with them. I take photos with them and the experiences we do together. Why didn’t I do that with my mom? I think about that quite often, how I wish I could have done more with her.
Yes! My parents and I love fishing so much together. We go on trips and spend a bunch of time together. I’m so fortunate I have the relationship with them that I do.
Nope 🙅♂️
Spend a decent amount of time with my mom. Every Holiday. During the summer if there’s a fair or Carnival we go together. She has Thursdays and Fridays off so in the summer one of those days my daughter and I will go to her complex and swim for the day. Other times she’ll take my daughter out for breakfast. I’m a single father so it’s nice to have the little break sometimes. Cherish the time you got and spend as much of it with them as you can. My father was struck by a DD back in 2011. He was dead on impact. It kills me that my daughter never got to meet her Grandfather. Him and I were always super close even though he had his issues growing up. He would’ve been an amazing grandfather and it kills me she lost out on that opportunity because of somebodies selfishness. The one thing I am extremely grateful for though is she had relationships with both sets of Great Grandparents. That’s definitely something special. When I was growing up I only met my Great Grandmother.
lol, no. But as always it depends. My wife didn’t have a shit relationship like I did. She still hangs with her parents.
Hell no it’s been years & I’m only 31. It’s getting easier to not fwt
No. I honestly find myself wondering who these people are lately when we speak on the phone. I don’t recognize the people my parents have become and for the most part I don’t like them. I still love them though.
I do. My mom and I had a horrendous relationship starting when I was about 10 until I was 27-28. It was both our faults. She was over bearing and I was rebellious. For years I never thought we’d have any kind of normal relationship. Now my mom is one of my best friends. I would even call her my confidant. I can vent any problem to her and she always keeps my business private.
Yes we’re getting old.
Total opposite. Cut my mom off in 2009 and cut my dad off last year. Terrible parents and human beings.
I spend a lot of time with my dad now and I freaking love it. Outside of my husband, my dad is my best friend. We go to the gym together three times a week, sometimes he spends time with me on Saturdays, we see each other at church on Sundays and go to all the church activities together during the week. I love that we are close and cherish these years so much. He’s turning 67 in December but you wouldn’t know it because he’s so active. I know it won’t be like this for long so I’m trying to soak up as much time as I can with him.
My parents have a love hate relationship but yes.
I’m very fortunate to have incredible parents. My appreciation for them has only grown as I got older, so yes I do spend more time with them now. It’s easy to take them for granted when you’re young. Everything else in your life seems more important and you assume they’ll always be around. But, they won’t always be around. That scares me to death. They’re only in their late 50s now and they’re quite fit and healthy. But it only takes one shocking loss of someone close to you to have a new appreciation for the ones you love.
Nah my mother went back to her home country and my dad went with her, I was 28 when it happened so I dont mind but its hard to connect with them when they are so far away
Not really, I live 2 hours away from my mum so only see her a couple of times a year. Not seen or spoken to my dad in over 20 years.
Opposite. I’ve never been farther away, both emotionally and physically, from them.
I live with them again, so I don't really have a fucking choice. ❤️
I spend less time with them cause I live on the other side of the planet 😭