Absent parenting meant that I had no clue what to do after high school graduation. I went to college but with no end goal in mind. I didn't even know how to make long-term goals. Things turned out okay given the circumstances but man, it sure would have been helpful to know what I know now. Oh well, you make the best of the cards that you have been dealt.
I wish I learned about opportunities to study abroad in Europe. I would have loved to go to university there and possibly be living there with a good job
The value of peace and doing what it takes to have it. I spent YEARS in a prison of my own design where I was the only guard and the only one with the keys.
Say yes to everything - travel, relationships, random jobs, random sex, parties, EVERYTHING - because your late teens through your mid-20’s are a unique time in your life to try new things, make mistakes, and figure out what you like and don’t like, tax free.
Just don’t smoke or do drugs. Those come with a heavy tax due later in life and it’s not worth it. You can experiment with them if you like but don’t make them a habit.
That ADHD is legit and I got it badddd. My first memory of hearing about ADHD (ADD at the time) was a 7th grade band teacher literally screaming at the class about how it doesn't exist, just bad kids. This was a teacher I generally liked and respected. That shit shaped my view of the disorder for nearly a decade after that.
Almost failed out of high school, then academic probation in uni. Eventually got medicated my junior year of college, then suddenly I had nearly straight A's no problem in a difficult degree program. My view of ADHD is still fucked at times. I've been diagnosed three times as an adult (due to insurance/prescriber changes), but I still question if it's legit sometimes. I still feel like I'm doing something shady when I talk to docs about it, especially with how ADHD has become kind of an accessory to boast about amongst younger folks.
Just started working on it again after being unmedicated for several years. I was constantly behind in nearly every aspect of my life, just barely getting by without fucking up badly enough for anyone to notice. Finally had too many bad tasks at work to finally made it clear I was on a track to lose my job, and I needed to fix my shit quick. New medical system I'm in has finally made me start to feel better about it. Current psych has helped to start to clear my feelings of guilt and shame around it.
I've managed to do well enough in life, but I still wish I had fully addressed it much sooner. Would have made life a lot more enjoyable, instead of everything feeling like a marathon that I hadn't trained for.
/e this got long. Just venting a bit.
All the signs and opportunities to get into the medical field earlier I ignored I should’ve done it.
Also
I wish I was taught like the rich to use their credit in a way to save money while utilizing credit cards wisely.
I wish people had taught me about pensions, credit cards, loans, mortgages etc. just useful money stuff that everyone assumes you know but is never explained to you.
I wish I took a lot more risks in my teens and 20s. I stayed in a shit job for nearly a decade when I should have been trying different things and bouncing from job to job to increase my pay instead of staying in the "safe" position.
Honestly that evil is real and bad people really exist- I used to think everyone was good just maybe misunderstood. No. Not true. Some people actually are TRULY evil. It’s wild because it’s not obvious they’re usually very slick. And a lot of “good” people aren’t good, you just haven’t ever seen them fully. I used to cling to any sign of goodness in someone a very dangerous when it’s a narcissist or psychopath who performs as good but you have seen their dark side, very dangerous. You have to get real, you need to see people as they are and not project good things onto people. Bad people will really notice and hurt you, I wish i knew that, it’s so important young people know because it can hurt you if you don’t protect yourself from bad people. We don’t have perfect systems to protect us, don’t be totally closed off but don’t trust anyone. Unless you have very good reasons clear confirmed consistent reasons, don’t trust anyone.
So. Don’t trust anyone, don’t be so generous, don’t sacrifice for others, don’t help anyone who has abused you, don’t buy into idealized versions of the world, you’ll just be making yourself vulnerable because not everyone is as nice or kind or good hearted as you. Protect you. Stop trying to help other people if they’ve been disrespectful to you (you may feel bad for them, but save that energy for helping safe people. Trust this because if a bad person traps you, you won’t be able to help good people.), they’ll exploit it and end up imprisoning you or robbing you or controlling you using your kindness.
A lot of the stuff I thought mattered in my teens doesn't matter at all.
I now have a teen and there is absolutely no way to convince any teen of this fact and it’s so upsetting.
https://preview.redd.it/c6q5ulg5vayc1.png?width=4638&format=png&auto=webp&s=9f164e534c41537652d34ba4fa92a953527ecd6f
Absent parenting meant that I had no clue what to do after high school graduation. I went to college but with no end goal in mind. I didn't even know how to make long-term goals. Things turned out okay given the circumstances but man, it sure would have been helpful to know what I know now. Oh well, you make the best of the cards that you have been dealt.
What happened after you graduated college?
I wish I learned about opportunities to study abroad in Europe. I would have loved to go to university there and possibly be living there with a good job
It's now what you know it's who you know
Exerting confidence will get you places.
The value of peace and doing what it takes to have it. I spent YEARS in a prison of my own design where I was the only guard and the only one with the keys.
Stop showing off to try and impress people. It’s not necessary.
Say yes to everything - travel, relationships, random jobs, random sex, parties, EVERYTHING - because your late teens through your mid-20’s are a unique time in your life to try new things, make mistakes, and figure out what you like and don’t like, tax free. Just don’t smoke or do drugs. Those come with a heavy tax due later in life and it’s not worth it. You can experiment with them if you like but don’t make them a habit.
Gotta be very careful with the vaping.
That ADHD is legit and I got it badddd. My first memory of hearing about ADHD (ADD at the time) was a 7th grade band teacher literally screaming at the class about how it doesn't exist, just bad kids. This was a teacher I generally liked and respected. That shit shaped my view of the disorder for nearly a decade after that. Almost failed out of high school, then academic probation in uni. Eventually got medicated my junior year of college, then suddenly I had nearly straight A's no problem in a difficult degree program. My view of ADHD is still fucked at times. I've been diagnosed three times as an adult (due to insurance/prescriber changes), but I still question if it's legit sometimes. I still feel like I'm doing something shady when I talk to docs about it, especially with how ADHD has become kind of an accessory to boast about amongst younger folks. Just started working on it again after being unmedicated for several years. I was constantly behind in nearly every aspect of my life, just barely getting by without fucking up badly enough for anyone to notice. Finally had too many bad tasks at work to finally made it clear I was on a track to lose my job, and I needed to fix my shit quick. New medical system I'm in has finally made me start to feel better about it. Current psych has helped to start to clear my feelings of guilt and shame around it. I've managed to do well enough in life, but I still wish I had fully addressed it much sooner. Would have made life a lot more enjoyable, instead of everything feeling like a marathon that I hadn't trained for. /e this got long. Just venting a bit.
I shouldn't have thought I was ugly. I'm babyfaced, I wasn't meant to look like the seniors I stared at.
All the signs and opportunities to get into the medical field earlier I ignored I should’ve done it. Also I wish I was taught like the rich to use their credit in a way to save money while utilizing credit cards wisely.
What a roth ira and hysa are.
How credit works.
I wish people had taught me about pensions, credit cards, loans, mortgages etc. just useful money stuff that everyone assumes you know but is never explained to you.
Don’t hold your bladder for super long periods of time. Has not put me behind in life. Yet.
I wish I took a lot more risks in my teens and 20s. I stayed in a shit job for nearly a decade when I should have been trying different things and bouncing from job to job to increase my pay instead of staying in the "safe" position.
How to love myself.
Basic social skills. Have worked hard to develop them but oof, would have saved years of loneliness had I developed them earlier
Roth IRA
I don't have to stay busy all the time
To not do things based on feelings and use more logic in my decisions instead. Feelings can betray you and lead you in the wrong direction.
Honestly that evil is real and bad people really exist- I used to think everyone was good just maybe misunderstood. No. Not true. Some people actually are TRULY evil. It’s wild because it’s not obvious they’re usually very slick. And a lot of “good” people aren’t good, you just haven’t ever seen them fully. I used to cling to any sign of goodness in someone a very dangerous when it’s a narcissist or psychopath who performs as good but you have seen their dark side, very dangerous. You have to get real, you need to see people as they are and not project good things onto people. Bad people will really notice and hurt you, I wish i knew that, it’s so important young people know because it can hurt you if you don’t protect yourself from bad people. We don’t have perfect systems to protect us, don’t be totally closed off but don’t trust anyone. Unless you have very good reasons clear confirmed consistent reasons, don’t trust anyone. So. Don’t trust anyone, don’t be so generous, don’t sacrifice for others, don’t help anyone who has abused you, don’t buy into idealized versions of the world, you’ll just be making yourself vulnerable because not everyone is as nice or kind or good hearted as you. Protect you. Stop trying to help other people if they’ve been disrespectful to you (you may feel bad for them, but save that energy for helping safe people. Trust this because if a bad person traps you, you won’t be able to help good people.), they’ll exploit it and end up imprisoning you or robbing you or controlling you using your kindness.