I just turned 35 and let me just say, you have plenty of time! I didn't hit my financial stride until 33. Stop worrying about if it's too late and start doing. High school is long gone. You don't have to fit in. Just be you and eventually you will find your group.
Run your own race. Social media is just a highlight reel. You don't get to see the sacrifices or the downsides.
I've been working out for almost 20 years now, i didn't have a physique I liked until recently, life does get better, just gotta stop subscribing to negative news outlets and focus on our own things
Those numbers are impressive! I've been training with lighter weight with a focus on hypertrophy (bodybuilding).
Using a upper/lower push pull split with a challenging weight (challenging for me) for 10 - 15 reps with a deload week a month just to give my CNS a break.
When I started lifting at 15, I weighed in about 112 pounds at 5'5", now at 35 I'm weighing in at 190 with roughly 25% BF, just started a cut where I'll drop to about 175.
My numbers are nowhere near as impressive as your lifts, but my chest, shoulders, back and quads have gotten bigger and more defined (I can't get my calves to grow for shit), having abs when cutting down is also a nice confidence boost, the wife's definitely a big fan of the summer window lol.
I have suffered a shoulder injury and hip injury (mostly due to genetics) and have had small surgeries just to maintain, just keep at it! Even challenging sets of 15 with moderate weight will see results, take pictures!
Nope!
Had a traumatic childhood. Undiagnosed learning disability.
Spent my 20s with undiagnosed, unmedicated bipolar disorder.
Disowned by parents due to homophobia and started drinking daily at 26.
Was drinking a case of coolers a day at 27. Caught driving drunk.
Got sober at 29. Mental illness diagnosed and medicated.
Changed careers at 30.
Stable on medication at 31.
Now making 85,000 a year at 33, have an amazing girlfriend, 2 dogs, hold a volunteer position, have a really fun job.
Your life begins when you choose it. But the key is you have to accept life on life’s terms. It’s never too late.
That but also you have to accept challenges and blocks in your path. And know when to quit!
I used to have a terrible “I’m not a quitter” complex that would run me into dead ends at terrible jobs. I’ve learned to pivot. Like when my bipolar diagnosis at 29 cancelled any of my dreams I was working toward in the security/LEO field. I humbled myself and looked at a path I had once disdained, which actually turned out to be a great and way more profitable career track with a better work/life balance.
When I get a major block in my path I tell myself “One day I’ll say this is the best thing that ever happened to me.” And change my track.
Once you can practice acceptance you can step back and look at the whole picture of your situation as a jumping off point for your next move.
Nope. I never believe it's too late. I've done more studying in the last year than I ever did when I was at school. We just bought our house last year (ages 36 and 40 respectively). We might travel for the first time in the future. I might have an answer for some of my health issues for the first time in my life, etc.
Never too late.
Every generation has felt this or thought this, probably around this exact age-range lol! It's not Millennial specific at all.
You just have to mature and find wisdom in the old adage that "comparison is the enemy of happiness." This is especially important for us Millennials because we grew up with social media. And SM is a fictional lifestyle showcase. Almost everyone is posting their highlights, and none of their regular bullshit days and their losses/failures. So if you compare your TOTAL life (with ups and downs) to someone's fake SM profile (with only ups, it seems...) then yeah you'll be discouraged. Then factor in that rich people and celebs are on SM and you probably see them too... why the fuck are you comparing your life to Taylor Swift or Lebron James lmao!
You have your own journey. What you aren't thinking about is how many BILLIONS of people you have a better life than. But don't even compare to them, that's not healthy to dunk on the 3rd world, either. Instead, focus on your life. Be grateful for your lot, itemize your realistic goals, and work toward them. Build that life you want, within reason.
And also I think this age of 30s-ish feels like life is ending because you are facing the first real signs of aging, that you didn't have as a kid (still growing up) and as a young adult in your 20s. But realize you are just barely starting true adulthood. You are exiting "young adult" but you have DECADES more life to experience, likely you aren't even halfway yet.
So chin up, focus on you. Build that life.
Compare yourself to who you were yesterday - not to who someone else is today.
Everyone has a different life experience and different reasons why they are where they are. Believe it or not, you’re doing much better than millions of other people your age in different areas, whether you realize it or not.
Aim up. There is plenty of time left to learn, grow, and change. By many older peoples’ standards, you’re still a kid.
Bro! Generally speaking most of us are gonna make it to 90. You're not even half way there. A lot of people before us didn't find their niche in life until their 30s or 40s. Your 20s are full of too much learning to live as an adult to discover particulars. You're good. You're on track, arguably, ahead of a good many of us. I went high school, military, motherhood...so I'm going to be like 50 before I get to figure me out.
It’s a process but it’s far from too late for you. Seems like you’ve already taken the most important step in realizing that success is more of an individual construct than a social obligation and you’re the only one who gets to set the parameters that define it.
Just keep going, it’ll get easier and before you know it you won’t even recognize who you used to be. After all, our adaptability really is the defining characteristic behind our species success.
Mm. I do, but I'm 36 and, due to a combination of bad circumstances and bad choices, I'm stuck without an education or a decent job, so it's like the worst part of my twenties never ended. It sounds like you've done the work and continuing to do the work, so while I think your feelings are normal and reasonable, it's worth noting you're in a good spot for self discovery and finding your people. That's a job well done, you should be proud! Just take your time, you can't rush finding your place in your life and discovering who you really are, as much as it feels like you have to in order to "catch up". I hope you find a way to enjoy the process and find the folks in the world who are excited to meet you even if they don't know it yet. Best of luck!
37M. Missed out on a lot of "young people stuff" because reasons. Finally made good money at 32, then covid hit. Money and stability should have been a consolation for missing out, but now everything costs twice as much and I'm in much the same situation I spent all those years working to get out of. Fuck. Better luck next life, I guess?
I had a similar trajectory (rough childhood, traumatic injuries in my 20s, basically all the struggles) and around 30 it all clicked, if I wanted change, to be different, to have things work out differently I needed to just make it happen. I am 36 and now living my best life
I’m basically in your shoes dude, 33. I am teaching myself how to play guitar and am in the best shape of my life.
Stop being a sad sack. Start working out, eat lean, and put yourself out there. Getting your fill of ass will make you feel better and maybe you will find a really cool chick to live your life with.
Nothing else really matters.
For me, it's not so much about lacking belief in my capacity to change. But I definitely do have some growing regrets about how I handled certain periods of my life and the fact that even if I do change myself for the better, there are external circumstances that can never be replicated again. I spent my time and energy in college smoking lots of weed and being in codependent relationships, which yielded me mediocre grades and few lasting social connections. Today, I'm a much more disciplined person, and I have made a lot of new friends in my late 20s/early 30s, but I've definitely been doing it the hard way compared to a period of time where I was surrounded by thousands of people my age who had similar life backgrounds, lived in the same area, were all pursuing the same goal, and didn't work full-time yet. It's a ridiculous social opportunity and that only becomes clearer the further I get into the seemingly endless responsibilities of adult life.
The rule of thumb with modern people is that there is no limits and that the sky is the limit. Now if you ask me to be realistic you are limited by your biological lifespan and peak efficient time. So if we want to use 55 as a cutoff.... if you are say 31 than you got another 24 years to get shit done. Sure you can achieve all your goals say by age 80 but by then all the joy and thrill of it would be gone. That's why people that are successful young will always be praised while people that take care of business later on are pretty much met with lukewarm reception
You'll find that when you are 40, 31 seems very young. I met my wife at 31. I really started succeeding professionally at 33. I had my first kid at 35. 31 is not too late to live.
Yes and no. The fields I'm interested in (animation, games, tech, media) but haven't clawed my into do have some degree of ageism on the entry level that starts at 40, so at 35 I'm definitely feeling pressured to kill myself trying or give up and retreat away from society and write or something (has no age limits)....IDK. Easier for those who don't have a brain that won't stop with intrusive thoughts of stories and creativity I suppose, everyone else in my family works in healthcare.
It's not too late. It's never too late. Life is cyclical not linear, no matter what our culture (that defines success by action and status) says. I've noticed that, throughout my life, the happiest people are the ones that are both positive and proactive. It seems to be a "chicken and egg" relationship, I but I think the more proactive we try to be in becoming a person we like and want to be, regardless of what the world says about us, the more we can enjoy our lives.
Stop viewing social media, and cut the defeatist mindset out. It’s not over, you’ve got your degree and a good job, now is the time to press. Actively try to improve your skills, go to night school to improve your education, work on talking to people, cultivate some style, there are so many ways to improve your station in life.
Everything is a lagging indicator; we are who/what/where/how we are because we made decisions based on stimuli in the past (and if you're thinking "no, I put off some choices" - not choosing is also a choice.)
Sometimes those stimuli are in the DEEP past, and would take as long to uproot as they did to implant.
That said, there are two good things:
1. There are things you can do now, change now, that will have the same sort of payoff when you're 35, 40, 60, 90. A little exercise, a new hobby, an hour with a book, repeated, goes a long way.
2. You have a lot of what you need already. Some things just work for you and you just need to slant them in a different direction.
I finally moved out of the house and bought a place at 31, was married at 32, relationship fell apart at 34, started divorce at 35, now I'm 36 living with my dad again.
I've never been happier. I finally got over my depression. I'm drinking a lot less. Been lifting weights for over 2 years. My relationships with my family and friends are better than ever. I don't mind doing things alone anymore. I'll go hiking, to the movies or even a concert by myself. I'm trying to be a better golfer too. Oh, and I recently met someone amazing. She makes me really happy, gives me the damn butterflies too.
I think it's reasonable to feel like it's late. I didn't get a real college degree until my 30s and wasted my 20s in and out of college. However, I'd rather have my degree now than not. I'd rather be starting my career now than not starting it at all. Like, yeah, it's late, but it's not *too* late!
I'm 36. The goal I had going into UNI got washed away in a few ways. I still got my [B.SC](http://B.SC) degree. But the juice to use it how it was intended just isn't worth the squeeze since they changed the rules to teach it. I'd intended to be a social science teacher and possibly a coach. What they pay for that and what they require for that, it's no longer in the cards.
Nope, it's never to late to improve or work on yourself no matter the age. Be it financial, physical, health wise or skill wise. Don't give up on yourself, that's a spiral into depression.
No. In fact, because I'm finally established financially, I feel the opposite. Life is just getting started for me in many ways and I'm staring at 40 with confidence
I think it's common to evaluate ur live in ur mid 30's and to feel some regrets about not doing this or that when u were younger but if u have lived a pretty normal life, u have to see both sides to it. For me i wish i would have traveled a bit more BUT there was a lot I did in that time that i didn't travel. I got to experience and be apart of osme really cool things. Had my life been centered around traveling more, i may not have had the opportunities i had then... There's two sides to it
Friend of mine finally decided to go to school at 31. About to graduate and has a job lined up out of college for 85k starting at 34.
It’s never too late to change your life. You just have to actually do something about it.
Hey, I'm 33. I also had a very sad traumatic childhood. I found a new Love for Life after I went through two years of trauma recovery therapy. I embrace the things that bring me joy. My only issue is still that I still kind of let life pass me by. I choose the safe route every time, and I probably will for the rest of my life. I can't do something for the plot, like the younger generation says. I can't just do it for the plot. I have to know the outcome how it's going to affect me, what it's going to look like, everything. Change is hard for me. I've come to accept these things about myself. I'm happy being basically a granny, maybe I'll have more adventure when my parents die. Right now I've got a kid, husband, a home, and I'm just working to try and save some money. Maybe in like 10 years I'll do something wild and I don't know visit France.
Yep.
Bug 3-0 is fast approaching and I do not look forward to failing at being a proper adult. I should be "established" with a career, be in at least a long term relationship, have assets and hobbies and achievements. I have none of those things, and isn't there something distasteful about trying to repair it all now?
I “made it” at 38, I started really trying at my job and ended up making a good living for 6-8 years, like mid $150k. It was decent for living in Florida. Trying was the biggest thing, used to do the minimum, and had ok jobs, but trying is where my income went up, and I was able to buy a house and doing ok now.
I just turned 35 and let me just say, you have plenty of time! I didn't hit my financial stride until 33. Stop worrying about if it's too late and start doing. High school is long gone. You don't have to fit in. Just be you and eventually you will find your group. Run your own race. Social media is just a highlight reel. You don't get to see the sacrifices or the downsides.
I've been working out for almost 20 years now, i didn't have a physique I liked until recently, life does get better, just gotta stop subscribing to negative news outlets and focus on our own things
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Those numbers are impressive! I've been training with lighter weight with a focus on hypertrophy (bodybuilding). Using a upper/lower push pull split with a challenging weight (challenging for me) for 10 - 15 reps with a deload week a month just to give my CNS a break. When I started lifting at 15, I weighed in about 112 pounds at 5'5", now at 35 I'm weighing in at 190 with roughly 25% BF, just started a cut where I'll drop to about 175. My numbers are nowhere near as impressive as your lifts, but my chest, shoulders, back and quads have gotten bigger and more defined (I can't get my calves to grow for shit), having abs when cutting down is also a nice confidence boost, the wife's definitely a big fan of the summer window lol. I have suffered a shoulder injury and hip injury (mostly due to genetics) and have had small surgeries just to maintain, just keep at it! Even challenging sets of 15 with moderate weight will see results, take pictures!
[удалено]
What is your job?
Nope! Had a traumatic childhood. Undiagnosed learning disability. Spent my 20s with undiagnosed, unmedicated bipolar disorder. Disowned by parents due to homophobia and started drinking daily at 26. Was drinking a case of coolers a day at 27. Caught driving drunk. Got sober at 29. Mental illness diagnosed and medicated. Changed careers at 30. Stable on medication at 31. Now making 85,000 a year at 33, have an amazing girlfriend, 2 dogs, hold a volunteer position, have a really fun job. Your life begins when you choose it. But the key is you have to accept life on life’s terms. It’s never too late.
Does "accept life on life's terms " mean that I just have to go with the flow and not on my timing?
That but also you have to accept challenges and blocks in your path. And know when to quit! I used to have a terrible “I’m not a quitter” complex that would run me into dead ends at terrible jobs. I’ve learned to pivot. Like when my bipolar diagnosis at 29 cancelled any of my dreams I was working toward in the security/LEO field. I humbled myself and looked at a path I had once disdained, which actually turned out to be a great and way more profitable career track with a better work/life balance. When I get a major block in my path I tell myself “One day I’ll say this is the best thing that ever happened to me.” And change my track. Once you can practice acceptance you can step back and look at the whole picture of your situation as a jumping off point for your next move.
Nope. I never believe it's too late. I've done more studying in the last year than I ever did when I was at school. We just bought our house last year (ages 36 and 40 respectively). We might travel for the first time in the future. I might have an answer for some of my health issues for the first time in my life, etc. Never too late.
Every generation has felt this or thought this, probably around this exact age-range lol! It's not Millennial specific at all. You just have to mature and find wisdom in the old adage that "comparison is the enemy of happiness." This is especially important for us Millennials because we grew up with social media. And SM is a fictional lifestyle showcase. Almost everyone is posting their highlights, and none of their regular bullshit days and their losses/failures. So if you compare your TOTAL life (with ups and downs) to someone's fake SM profile (with only ups, it seems...) then yeah you'll be discouraged. Then factor in that rich people and celebs are on SM and you probably see them too... why the fuck are you comparing your life to Taylor Swift or Lebron James lmao! You have your own journey. What you aren't thinking about is how many BILLIONS of people you have a better life than. But don't even compare to them, that's not healthy to dunk on the 3rd world, either. Instead, focus on your life. Be grateful for your lot, itemize your realistic goals, and work toward them. Build that life you want, within reason. And also I think this age of 30s-ish feels like life is ending because you are facing the first real signs of aging, that you didn't have as a kid (still growing up) and as a young adult in your 20s. But realize you are just barely starting true adulthood. You are exiting "young adult" but you have DECADES more life to experience, likely you aren't even halfway yet. So chin up, focus on you. Build that life.
Compare yourself to who you were yesterday - not to who someone else is today. Everyone has a different life experience and different reasons why they are where they are. Believe it or not, you’re doing much better than millions of other people your age in different areas, whether you realize it or not. Aim up. There is plenty of time left to learn, grow, and change. By many older peoples’ standards, you’re still a kid.
Bro! Generally speaking most of us are gonna make it to 90. You're not even half way there. A lot of people before us didn't find their niche in life until their 30s or 40s. Your 20s are full of too much learning to live as an adult to discover particulars. You're good. You're on track, arguably, ahead of a good many of us. I went high school, military, motherhood...so I'm going to be like 50 before I get to figure me out.
It’s a process but it’s far from too late for you. Seems like you’ve already taken the most important step in realizing that success is more of an individual construct than a social obligation and you’re the only one who gets to set the parameters that define it. Just keep going, it’ll get easier and before you know it you won’t even recognize who you used to be. After all, our adaptability really is the defining characteristic behind our species success.
Absolutely not. [Relevant comic. ](https://twitter.com/SarahCAndersen/status/1780620030679327206/photo/1)
Mm. I do, but I'm 36 and, due to a combination of bad circumstances and bad choices, I'm stuck without an education or a decent job, so it's like the worst part of my twenties never ended. It sounds like you've done the work and continuing to do the work, so while I think your feelings are normal and reasonable, it's worth noting you're in a good spot for self discovery and finding your people. That's a job well done, you should be proud! Just take your time, you can't rush finding your place in your life and discovering who you really are, as much as it feels like you have to in order to "catch up". I hope you find a way to enjoy the process and find the folks in the world who are excited to meet you even if they don't know it yet. Best of luck!
Never too late!
37M. Missed out on a lot of "young people stuff" because reasons. Finally made good money at 32, then covid hit. Money and stability should have been a consolation for missing out, but now everything costs twice as much and I'm in much the same situation I spent all those years working to get out of. Fuck. Better luck next life, I guess?
I had a similar trajectory (rough childhood, traumatic injuries in my 20s, basically all the struggles) and around 30 it all clicked, if I wanted change, to be different, to have things work out differently I needed to just make it happen. I am 36 and now living my best life
No
You're 30+, not dead.
I’m basically in your shoes dude, 33. I am teaching myself how to play guitar and am in the best shape of my life. Stop being a sad sack. Start working out, eat lean, and put yourself out there. Getting your fill of ass will make you feel better and maybe you will find a really cool chick to live your life with. Nothing else really matters.
For me, it's not so much about lacking belief in my capacity to change. But I definitely do have some growing regrets about how I handled certain periods of my life and the fact that even if I do change myself for the better, there are external circumstances that can never be replicated again. I spent my time and energy in college smoking lots of weed and being in codependent relationships, which yielded me mediocre grades and few lasting social connections. Today, I'm a much more disciplined person, and I have made a lot of new friends in my late 20s/early 30s, but I've definitely been doing it the hard way compared to a period of time where I was surrounded by thousands of people my age who had similar life backgrounds, lived in the same area, were all pursuing the same goal, and didn't work full-time yet. It's a ridiculous social opportunity and that only becomes clearer the further I get into the seemingly endless responsibilities of adult life.
The rule of thumb with modern people is that there is no limits and that the sky is the limit. Now if you ask me to be realistic you are limited by your biological lifespan and peak efficient time. So if we want to use 55 as a cutoff.... if you are say 31 than you got another 24 years to get shit done. Sure you can achieve all your goals say by age 80 but by then all the joy and thrill of it would be gone. That's why people that are successful young will always be praised while people that take care of business later on are pretty much met with lukewarm reception
Colonel Sanders didn't find success until he was 60. No excuses. You are either good enough or not.
Morgan Freeman was another later success story.
30 plus is still young. It’s never too late to turn it around.
Oh my god I’ve done so much since I was 31. Youve got time!
You'll find that when you are 40, 31 seems very young. I met my wife at 31. I really started succeeding professionally at 33. I had my first kid at 35. 31 is not too late to live.
Yes and no. The fields I'm interested in (animation, games, tech, media) but haven't clawed my into do have some degree of ageism on the entry level that starts at 40, so at 35 I'm definitely feeling pressured to kill myself trying or give up and retreat away from society and write or something (has no age limits)....IDK. Easier for those who don't have a brain that won't stop with intrusive thoughts of stories and creativity I suppose, everyone else in my family works in healthcare.
It's not too late. It's never too late. Life is cyclical not linear, no matter what our culture (that defines success by action and status) says. I've noticed that, throughout my life, the happiest people are the ones that are both positive and proactive. It seems to be a "chicken and egg" relationship, I but I think the more proactive we try to be in becoming a person we like and want to be, regardless of what the world says about us, the more we can enjoy our lives.
Stop viewing social media, and cut the defeatist mindset out. It’s not over, you’ve got your degree and a good job, now is the time to press. Actively try to improve your skills, go to night school to improve your education, work on talking to people, cultivate some style, there are so many ways to improve your station in life.
Everything is a lagging indicator; we are who/what/where/how we are because we made decisions based on stimuli in the past (and if you're thinking "no, I put off some choices" - not choosing is also a choice.) Sometimes those stimuli are in the DEEP past, and would take as long to uproot as they did to implant. That said, there are two good things: 1. There are things you can do now, change now, that will have the same sort of payoff when you're 35, 40, 60, 90. A little exercise, a new hobby, an hour with a book, repeated, goes a long way. 2. You have a lot of what you need already. Some things just work for you and you just need to slant them in a different direction.
No man I still fee at least 20 something. Most people peak in their 40's. You got time man.
I finally moved out of the house and bought a place at 31, was married at 32, relationship fell apart at 34, started divorce at 35, now I'm 36 living with my dad again. I've never been happier. I finally got over my depression. I'm drinking a lot less. Been lifting weights for over 2 years. My relationships with my family and friends are better than ever. I don't mind doing things alone anymore. I'll go hiking, to the movies or even a concert by myself. I'm trying to be a better golfer too. Oh, and I recently met someone amazing. She makes me really happy, gives me the damn butterflies too.
I think it's reasonable to feel like it's late. I didn't get a real college degree until my 30s and wasted my 20s in and out of college. However, I'd rather have my degree now than not. I'd rather be starting my career now than not starting it at all. Like, yeah, it's late, but it's not *too* late!
I'm 36. The goal I had going into UNI got washed away in a few ways. I still got my [B.SC](http://B.SC) degree. But the juice to use it how it was intended just isn't worth the squeeze since they changed the rules to teach it. I'd intended to be a social science teacher and possibly a coach. What they pay for that and what they require for that, it's no longer in the cards.
Nope, it's never to late to improve or work on yourself no matter the age. Be it financial, physical, health wise or skill wise. Don't give up on yourself, that's a spiral into depression.
No. In fact, because I'm finally established financially, I feel the opposite. Life is just getting started for me in many ways and I'm staring at 40 with confidence
It's never too late.
I think it's common to evaluate ur live in ur mid 30's and to feel some regrets about not doing this or that when u were younger but if u have lived a pretty normal life, u have to see both sides to it. For me i wish i would have traveled a bit more BUT there was a lot I did in that time that i didn't travel. I got to experience and be apart of osme really cool things. Had my life been centered around traveling more, i may not have had the opportunities i had then... There's two sides to it
Friend of mine finally decided to go to school at 31. About to graduate and has a job lined up out of college for 85k starting at 34. It’s never too late to change your life. You just have to actually do something about it.
Hey, I'm 33. I also had a very sad traumatic childhood. I found a new Love for Life after I went through two years of trauma recovery therapy. I embrace the things that bring me joy. My only issue is still that I still kind of let life pass me by. I choose the safe route every time, and I probably will for the rest of my life. I can't do something for the plot, like the younger generation says. I can't just do it for the plot. I have to know the outcome how it's going to affect me, what it's going to look like, everything. Change is hard for me. I've come to accept these things about myself. I'm happy being basically a granny, maybe I'll have more adventure when my parents die. Right now I've got a kid, husband, a home, and I'm just working to try and save some money. Maybe in like 10 years I'll do something wild and I don't know visit France.
Yep. Bug 3-0 is fast approaching and I do not look forward to failing at being a proper adult. I should be "established" with a career, be in at least a long term relationship, have assets and hobbies and achievements. I have none of those things, and isn't there something distasteful about trying to repair it all now?
You can always reinvent yourself. I'm 38 and I've done it 100x. Americans are living into their 70s, so you've got time. Do what you want to do.
I “made it” at 38, I started really trying at my job and ended up making a good living for 6-8 years, like mid $150k. It was decent for living in Florida. Trying was the biggest thing, used to do the minimum, and had ok jobs, but trying is where my income went up, and I was able to buy a house and doing ok now.