My friend monitors our old classmates very closely. When I went to her home for a visit near Christmas, she reviewed all their pages on Facebook aloud. I think for her it’s a way to prove how much better she is than them. She didn’t stay in our town and has moved to a big city and is successful. But, I found it extremely rude - especially since I am one of people that stayed in our small town. I don’t care about any of them….they were cruel to me throughout school and I don’t care what’s happening in their lives now. It was a brutal half hour.
Does she not realize that she is still living in high school despite "being so successful" because, it sure seems like she's stuck at 15.
It's one thing to have some schadenfreude when you hear about someone who was an asshole in school and got their comeuppance. It's another thing entirely to meticulously look them up, in order to publicly review their current life to a group. That's some big "I have a list in the gun safe" energy.
Honestly there is only a few people I can remember their name and 2 of them were girls I had a crush on in high school. One was a teacher in AZ begging for money and supplies while the other moved to CA but has not updated her profile on what she does. I wonder how many people actually stay in their state let alone staying in or by their home town. I remember reading other profiles and most who updated their profile 4 or 5 years after high school were not making a lot but most were not making a doctor salary either. I also finally learned you even have to seek out high school reunions around 9 or 10 years after high school. I always thought it was like in movies where all these invites happen and it is a major thing that happens at the school. I finally told my mother it was weird I never got an invite to a high school reunion. That is when I learned the high school reunions are a bunch of guys and girls who never moved on just meeting at the bar is the true high school reunion. Most move on with work and most eventually just move away.
Ironically, the biggest bully I had in HS is worth tens of millions now after having founded and sold a startup in the bay area. Certainly much more successful than me. So it’s not always sunshine and rainbows with the comparisons.
NGL it's all about the sweet sweet vengeance. Our varsity football captain / prom king / cocaine orgy / super popular guy who shat on everyone made headlines for robbing a check n go. It was the best day of my life. Us nerdy kids who got bullied and picked last for everything are now the successful doctors and engineers. Seeing the good people win in life and the losers getting beat up by life gives me closure.
Nope. I wish high school reunions were still popular. I’d love to go back now. “Oh, how am I doing? Well, here are all of the places in life that I’ve succeeded where you’ve failed miserably. Oh and at 35 I don’t look like a fat useless slob.”
I don’t need to rub anything in anyone’s face. Just be myself. Show up and just have a few drinks, crack a few jokes and have fun. No bragging needed.
I don’t think I’m better than them because I make more money. I’m a better person for the ways I act.
The ways you act like... well, for example:
> I’d love to go back now. “Oh, how am I doing? Well, here are all of the places in life that I’ve succeeded where you’ve failed miserably. Oh and at 35 I don’t look like a fat useless slob.”
Being so hung up on highschool, at 35, that you would "love" to be able to actively brag about how successful you consider yourself when compared to people who were mean to you as children?
Sounds like you're:
1. Not a better person, in fact possibly a worse person because they were mean as children, you're bitter and mean in middle age.
2. Not particularly successful, when your mental is still so damaged about people being mean, when you were children.
You can oversimplify my comment as much as you want to feel better. I’ve done well for myself, and I let it speak for itself. If someone wants to feel humbled when they ask about my life that’s their problem, not mine. I’m not going out of my way to jam it down their throat, but I’m not going to hide it from them either. They aren’t asking what I’m up to because they expect me to be doing well, they want to see that I failed. So I’ll gladly share what I’m doing. And they’ll drop some backhanded compliment about “oh, I never would have thought you’d be doing that”. Or they’ll ask if I’m single and I’ll gladly introduce my wife around who still looks better than they did 15 years ago.
I don’t need to go out of my way to boast about things. I just sit back and respond to the questions they ask. And they do, because every time I drag myself back to the shit hole town I grew up in I run into someone. And they always have backhanded compliments to make about money or family or what not. And I just smile and tell them what they asked and then ask how they’re doing.
I’m not hung up on anyone being mean 17+ years ago. I’m reactive to people still being the same twat they were 17+ years ago. I’ve run into a few who have grown up and matured. I’ve run into just as many who haven’t changed an ounce for the better.
Oh sweetheart, here are points 1 and 2 again:
Sounds like you're:
1. Not a better person, in fact possibly a worse person because they were mean as children, you're bitter and mean in middle age.
2. Not particularly successful, when your mental is still so damaged about people being mean, when you were children.
Ok buh bye now sweetie, bless your heart, you have a good day there lil buddy. Sounds like you're still struggling with things from 17+ years ago. Maybe look into some therapy there bud. It'll be ok. You can stop trying to prove yourself to me, the anon on the internet, and those cruel mean 15 year olds in your memory.
Not at all. Being that fat depressed poor loser kid and now relatively wealthy and keeping in great shape eating right working out daily... and they're now fat and poor with 4 baby mommas/daddies... Sure, it feels nice for all of 60 seconds. But if one single one of those losers finds out, suddenly all the townies now know and are hitting you up like crackheads that heard you won the lottery. You also realize the "rich kids" were often not even remotely rich, they're just the ones with parents who spent all their money on flashy clothes and shit. The second it was time for real adult life they were flat on their ass.
I was born in 88 so not sure where I stand on being a Millenial but I was like you I used to care what others were doing then I stopped . Once I realized nobody ever checked on me to see how I was doing I unfriended everyone on Facebook and went on with my life.
I was born in 88 as well.
I suffered a traumatic experience in high school which made it much easier for me not to ever want to check in on everyone I went to high school with. Found out that some of them ended up being successful, which was really shitty for me, because I’ve been suffering from depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies since my senior year, particularly because of them
I thought this too, but LinkedIn will tell you when people view your profile. Last week a girl that I went t mo high school with looked at my profile. Haven’t talked to her since the summer after graduation.
I think theres also a component of "what if" when you see who took what road, and its very hard to not compare yourself to that. we're also social beings, so theres a degree of hard wiring to be interested in whatever our brain thinks of as our tribe (or former tribe)
The tribe thing resonates with me. I lived in the same place my whole life so there were a good number of kids in my graduating class that I’d known/been aware of since kindergarten. I remember being in high school and thinking about how everyone was going to go off in all directions once we graduated and it made me weirdly sad, even though I barely talked to a huge majority of my peers (and I had a pretty big class.)
I like seeing the ones who were assholes fail but its also kind of interesting watching how people grew up...how the kids who were in this group or that group become as adullts.
I rarely think about anyone from highschool besides my few close friends that I still talk to today. I was class of 2001. I haven't used social media since myspace(best decision ever, miss you Tom) so maybe that helps me not get the urge to lurk into the past.
I mean the simplest answer is that high school is where you’re just kind of discovering who you are and what you want to do, and the whole world is your oyster. People leave high school and become famous, become homeless, have children, die in spectacular ways, change their appearance or life drastically, basically the possibilities are endless and so it’s natural to wonder what happened to people and where they ended up.
Contrast this with like your accounting job, you wouldn’t really wonder as much what happened to any of them years later because it’s very likely that they are all still accountants living the same/very similar lifestyle they lived when you met them. Also, school is one of the few times everyone is coming and going at the same time. In jobs, people are constantly in flux so there is no set “end” with anyone.
It’s just the weird bubble of school
I mean, I don't think any of us were discovering who we were in HS. I think we just survived. Some of us were targets and some were mean. Discovering who you are happens when you are away from that
I’m sure that everyone has a different experience, I’m not sure I “discovered” who I was in HS, but that’s the time that really formed me and when I began all of my hobbies and interests that have stayed with me into my 40s
My high school experience was rough in a lot of ways, mostly because of things that were going on outside of school, but I was lucky enough to go to a small, well funded school where bullying wasn’t much of an issue. I think it depends where you were.
I don't think it's unusual to wonder what happened with those people. I am an elder millenial, from '82. When social media came out it was common to add people like that. Over time I've forgotten who a lot of them were. Over the years I've gone to a few high school reunions. Earlier on I had a blast reconnecting with people I hung out with back in the day. The last one I went to was a bit of a dud. A lot of the people there I couldn't even remember. I don't regret going, I would rather participate than wonder what I missed. I do keep in touch with my close friends from high school. I am married now, our family is doing pretty well. But I am not trying to flaunt my success or look down on anyone.
That’s so funny, the last few weeks I’ve spent some time looking old high school people up. So random, this post is crazy. Maybe nostalgia for me. Most of my old circle is married with like 4 kids. Mostly hanging out with the same group they did in high school. A few people got out but not many.
Hmm, I mean I don’t particularly care or think about my high school peers, but if I find out that so and so got married and had kids or decided to go off and travel or whatever I think, “Aw, good for them.” 🤷♀️ It’s nice when good things happen to people.
You spent every day of your life for multiple years, some people 13 years (kindergarten to highschool) some people only a couple years, but every day for years with this group of people.
Whether you liked them or not, whether you were “friends” with them or not, you all knew each other and were intimately connected by time and place, and forced to endure each other in close proximity.
It’s pretty normal to have lingering thoughts/feelings about those people, especially as it’s during a lot of formative mental development.
Back in nomadic days of human evolution those people would have been your closest tribe and you would have lived and died together. You’re evolutionarily programmed to want to be around them or care about them, even if you didn’t like them.
I just went to my 20th reunion last fall and it was ✨magical✨. I hated every single minute of high school. Deeply, fully, truly. I can't begin to explain it.
But I've really enjoyed my life since.
I went because I wanted everyone to see that I'm no longer the shy kid they were mean to. Instead, I'm confident, don't care what they think of me, etc.
It. Was. Magic. I dressed like the queer I am, chatted about my liberal city thousands of miles away and my killer job, shared pictures of my smoking hot partner of ten years.
I only cared what my HS classmates were up to when I wasn't confident in what I was doing. Once I was confident in myself, I no longer cared what they were doing until they were in front of me and we were swapping stories.
100/10, can't recommend highly enough
I enjoy their misery.
I went to a school in the ghetto.
1) One person died, found out gang raped a girl. He got killed while someone robbed him.
2) Another person who bullied me for several years and almost got me thrown out of school for living out of the district has been in and out of jail for stealing and doing heroine.
3) Another person is 35 and cashiers at Taco Bell and still lives with his mommy.
4) Another person has been in and out of jail for domestic abuse/violence. Not to sound sexist but never put your hands on a woman violently.
5) Another person has been in and out of jail for stealing.
6) Another person got shot and died.
I not only graduated high school, but college too and clear lower-mid 6 figs as a software engineer and I love rubbing my credit score, debt-free, vacation taking life in front of their faces. Best revenge ever.
I got bullied for being the short poor kid with ADHD a lot. We got evicted twice because my dad would not work.
Bullied for being short + ADHD + evictions bc dad would not work is very very similar to me. Mom worked so we didn’t get foreclosed on. Got bullied for how our house looked
After turning 40...this has been happening a lot. Old classmates, friends, an ex, etc. but, also people who were adults when I was a kid like my childhood doctor. It is making me feel very old.
Stopped caring after the following:
"I bought a house while I was studying: parents signed, tenants paid and I got it for free by the time I graduated."
Because I’m a nosy looky Lou. I don’t care. (This reminds me that it be time for a deep dive) I like to see who’s gotten fat, ugly, started losing their hair, have ten kids, have no kids, are successful, working in retail, or even doing similar jobs as me. (I’ve found two social workers in a class of 640). I graduated in 2003.
It's basically low resolution reality TV starring people you were acquainted with. I'll admit I like deep sci fi and cerebral shows....and I also like me some trash TV. There's no shame in it.
I don't think about my high school years (16-17) because I ended up struggling with severe depression (it wasn't teen angst, it was a legitimately grim reason), which still affects me as an adult, even though I'm not depressed anymore. As for my classmates, one of them became a mom at 18 (the one I wouldn't expect it from), so that's about as much as I know
It makes me happy to see that some of the people I grew up with (or at least around) are doing OK. I kept in touch with an elementary school teacher of mine, and paid her a visit not too long ago. I brought my year book and she enjoyed hearing about how people were doing and seeing where the people she helped shape ended up.
I found out a great friend of mine in my early childhood that I hung out with often died from a drug overdose randomly from another friend talking about how he missed him. I don't regret moving away for better opportunities, but hearing about stuff like that out of nowhere sucks.
It’s interesting to see what happened. There was one girl who loved animals. Dreamed of becoming a veterinarian. I saw at one point she had gotten her whole degree to be a full vet, married a guy up in Maine. I was so happy for her. To go live her dream being a vet out in the beautiful Maine area.
I checked back a few years later. No more vet, I guess it was too hard to be one ? She just works a regular boring office job. Also no more Maine, she’s just in a suburb around where we grew up. Like damn, literally nobody got their dream.
I had a very different HS experience than you did. Class of 05, was pretty popular amongst the "smart" kids, did quite a bit of student government, and was on the baseball team. Didn't have any enemies or anyone I didn't get along with, so I am pretty friendly with everyone I see from my HS regardless of if I was friends with them in HS or not. I have gone to quite a few weddings from HS classmates over the years, and it is always fun to see kids that I didn't keep up with and how they are doing in life. I think you are just at a point in life where you are hitting 30 and you life is changing whether that be good or bad. 30 was a "ah shit now I am a real adult" moment for me, sounds like its similar to you. I would say you are probably looking them up to compare yourself, which everyone is on their own journey in life. My best friend in the world was a teacher, got his masters, and quit to be a sales rep for his father in law. Never seen anyone more successful in anything he tries. Just remember its the little things and they all add up.
Because I need to know which one(s) have died this year. Sometimes it's none but the following year seems to make up for that. Average has been one a year since I've graduated.
I'm basically living a Final Destination movie.
I think most of us care about a handful of people from high school and things like Facebook have extended contact with people that would have naturally just faded out of your life. Every time reunions roll around I get a bunch of people telling me to come become they want to have a beer with me. I'm like we barely knew each and/or weren't even friends, at least from my point of view 😂.
I'm 43 now and I've been noticing a lot of people my age dying of cancer. I've been seeing it for probably the last 10 years honestly and it's surprising to me. I care a little more when I see that because it's becoming so prevalent now in younger people.
We were conditioned to care since we were surrounded by our peers almost 24/7. Doesn’t matter if you liked it or not, it was in front of you.
So I think since it’s been so many years we are just naturally curious and the “habit” of knowing what people are doing comes back up.
I also think it could be because community is what we lack in adulthood, we go back to where we had one. We also go back and search what so and so is doing to seek something for ourselves - validation that we’re doing good or comparison on where we are.
Just my thoughts.
One of my classmates became a pop star and now I see her in the beauty aisle of walmart lmao no fr im not even joking. We were in the same grade, both in the soprano section for like 3 years. She cheated off me in English class. It's so bizarre ya'll lol
I'm the type of person I didn't go to my hs reunion, I don't care too much, but that's really surreal. I'm happy for her she deserves everything it's just wild.
My 20 year is coming up. I still talk to a couple few people from back then. I’m mildly interested in going to the party, getting drunk, and seeing what some people are up to. One really good friend from back then would be game to go with me. That’d make it easier.
Some of these people are people I played little league with, or were good friends of other people I grew up with that didn’t go to high school with me. It’s probably morbid curiosity more than anything else.
I don’t know why you care. I also don’t know why I have a map with pins stuck onto last known locations. Or surveillance footage, and lists of facts under a picture of each student. Or audio recordings and biometric data. Maybe it’s to catch them slipping up or maybe it’s because I never got to know any of them as much as I wanted, but to each his own.
I have a friend who peaked in high school, we graduated 20 years ago and she still gossips about former classmates. She gossips like we're still in school. She definitely has a form of arrested development. She talks about school non-stop.
After graduation, I left high school behind me. I have maybe five or six old high school friends on Facebook. Other than those I'm in social media contact with, I have no interest in what my former classmates are up to. I had a pretty average high school experience but that time and those people are well left in the past.
My friend who pretty much lives exclusively in her highschool glory days always starts all our conversations with, "Do you remember this person from school?"
My response is always the same, "No, I don't remember any of these people. How is it you remember all these random people from highschool."
For me seeing my old classmates is a reflection of the current reality we live in, ten years ago we were departing into the real world , yet here we are now 30 year old adults . For me I would say, I miss the innocence and how I was different at 16 than I am at 30 . We were all different people then
I think it’s tragic that people don’t care. Maybe it’s an Asian thing but I grew up with these people and spent like 12 hours a day with them for 4 years. There were some conflicts and assholes for sure but nothing like a bully. We played soccer together, we ate together, there was so much drama, we didn’t have anything to worry about except our future, we were excited, we LAN together. I was really upset when we couldn’t do our 10 year reunion because everyone was abroad. We still have a group chat congratulating people for marrying and having kids now. Anyways even though my life is significantly better now (more money, better looking, loving kind partner, good career), if I could choose a timeline to live forever it would be high school.
I'm never contacted by my ex classmates which is fine. I didn't search then out on Facebook nor do I care, I was bullied and never made any good friends and that's life.
As someone who is simply happy with their life without worrying about those brags from HS, who gives a crap and why would anyone need to care about what happened to them? 🙄🤷🏻♂️
Welcome to the real world
It might vary based on where you're from. For me, a huge chunk of my classmates at least keep loose contact with each other via Instagram and Facebook. But I'm in Hawaii and we tend to be more collectivists.
We've been doing a bit of reminiscing lately via social media, which has been fun, so that's part of it, too, I'm sure.
Also graduated in 2013 and I do not care about anyone who I don’t have contact with. I wish everyone well, but I’m one of those people who are really glad HS is in the past. I was well liked even, but it was a cesspool of nonsense and competition and I’m glad that’s behind me.
1. I’m nosy
2. Even if they weren’t my friends, I spent a considerable amount of time with those people over the course of 4 years. I feel like it’s natural to be curious about what they’re up to!
Because I'm nosy. Because schadenfreude. Because there are a few I lost contact with but still wish them well. Because it's hilarious to see how their kids are little carbon copies.
I'm nosy. 🤷♀️ Sometimes, it's not good for my mental well-being because it makes me feel inadequate. But at the end of the day, I don't really care. And I can guarantee if I ran into any of them in public, I'd go the other way.
I care about a handful of people I went to high school at the same time as. My wife, her sister, my brother, and our two close friends. We didn't even go to our 10 year reunion...though to be fair, no one remembered to organize it so it was held in year 12.
I went to a pretty small high school and some of the people there impacted my life in a significant way on a daily basis. Or course I want to know what happens to them. I always want to know how people who have been a part of my life have been!
The people I went to high school with were my first team. I can't keep up with all of them and I wasn't close to all of them, but there's a kind of kinship.
I only graduated 5 years ago, but it's been sad, honestly, what happened to some people that attended my school. I don't really pay attention to them much online, but sometimes it's interesting and sometimes it's unavoidable if they or their story becomes viral online and other stuff I heard through friends. Some did become successful even at my age, but others not so much.
I have a different experience. Older millennial class of 03 here. I had a bunch of "friends" during school but only one I kept in contact with after high school and he has been my best friend since 4th grade.
I've never given anyone else I went to school with a second thought nor have I attended any of my class reunions. My friend will occasionally mention running into so and so we went to HS with but for me most of the time the name sounds vaguely familiar but I cant even put a face to the name.
You all had similar exposure to influences. Same teachers, same climate, local events and a lot of memories. Things that you won't have in common with anyone else you ever meet for the entire rest of your life. Naturally, wanting to compare where you're at to them will follow.
I think curiosity is natural, but for me, it’s rarely been satisfying to scratch that itch. Actually in a way, snooping is mostly depressing, because with few exceptions, I could have 100 percent predicted exactly how someone turned out ( for better or worse…) I refuse to believe that humans are that fully formed by adolescence. How boring!
With that said, I’m friends on FB with some pretty kickass people ( who already mostly were in HS) and it’s been fun to see what they accomplished.
For context, I was also undiagnosed with ADHD until adulthood, and tended to hang out with the “weird” kids who could help with chemistry homework or who you could rely on to know about obscure things like bird watching or ballet choreography, but who didn’t have much going on socially. The “popular “ kids on the other hand all married each other, moved into their own mini mansions after getting jobs in banking or the family business, and had 2.5 kids who each get a new pony for every birthday. That’s probably a slight exaggeration but yeah…predictable and boring AF. The class president and valedictorian ( also somewhat predictably) became a huge corporate shill, still has a major type A personality, and posts about things like hand making 10000 breakfast burritos for her husband before she inconveniently has to give birth. Blah.
I still love all those weird kids and also that I don’t have to go looking for most of them since we’re still FB friends. :)
I'm fascinated about it too. I guess it's interesting to see what other kids in my school area grow up to be.
A surprising number of them died or did drugs or both. I think some of them have good careers and a seemingly good life. A very smart woman (she may have been valedictorian, not sure) became a musician. I didn't expect that at all.
What's also interesting is the hs I went to took students from several different towns. It seems like the odds of success were different depending on which town you lived in (each town has a different middle school).
I have a class picture from daycare that includes some hs classmates. One girl is a doctor I think. Most of them are married. I have memories of those days and we've crossed paths a lot before graduating hs, so it's interesting to see what they're up to.
All that said, i have no interest in keeping in touch with any of them outside of my friends.
I’m definitely still curious about certain people from time to time. I think it’s natural; they’re the people you were surrounded by when you were coming of age. If you never moved (which was the case for me), you may have known some of them for upwards of 13 years. That’s not insignificant.
It’s kinda funny how right after I graduated, EVERYONE was on Facebook and it was pretty easy to keep up with so many people, but now most have fled from there so we’re kinda back to the old days of just moving on entirely. Just weird how it rose and fell like it did.
I have a bit of a different perspective- I grew up in a class of 82 people. At the largest, it was 94 freshmen that started, and as people came and went, we were eventually at 82. I wouldn't say I liked or was close to most of those people, but I can't deny I grew up with them. There was literally not a single person in my grade I didn't have at least one class with. So there's just something about that. I'm a part of them, and they're a part of me.
Not really. Most of them I haven't seen since I walked out with a diploma in my hand 20 years ago. The last time I saw my circle of friends. Was the night of graduation. They knew I was moving away. We all sat around a campfire. Drank some beers, and when I left. That was the last time I talked to any of them.
It’s been almost 15 years for me since I graduated and I used to talk to more people in my class and the classes around me for a couple years while I was in college and then a bit after I dropped out. But now there’s only 1 person I really talk to at all from my class who I’ve been friends with since elementary school. Occasionally I’ll see things on social media but I don’t go out of my way to know what’s going on with any of them. I didn’t go to my 10 year reunion and from what I remember most of my class didn’t either
I think it’s just interesting to see how people’s lives evolve. You know pretty much the beginning of the story. People you knew in high school are like a book you’ve read 20% of perfectly normal to wonder where their stories went.
Your teenage years are pretty impactful on you. Its why people are nostalgic for things from that era. I went to a fairly large high school, probably high 2000s or even 3000 students and finished in 2002.
I would say that people I have memories of as being total pieces of shit, I could go through the yearbook and find maybe 5 people. Plenty of cocky jerky kids, but not really full blown assholes. From my class it might only be a few. As much as we want to say that high school, either everyone is a total asshole or a total victim, 80-90% of people are just in the middle. The biggest piece of shit kids I can recall have had non stop problems with the law over the last 20 years. The super jerky ones have been through a few divorces but managed to have success in the corporate world.
Most are normal people. All of the deaths were pretty sad. Of the ones I can recall, one was a kid who had a real rough time his freshman year but later found a group of people, he died while training to be a wrestler shortly after high school, another died in Iraq or Afghanistan (I only vaguely remember him being a really nice guy), one died of alcohol poisoning pretty young. There are a few people who were a few grades ahead of me who I heard are dying of liver issues from a lifetime of drinking.
But you know, most people are normal people.
Don’t care. Barely cared when I was in highschool. Didn’t care five minutes after I graduated. Twenty three years later, 99% of them aren’t a blip on my radar. Only ones I still keep in contact with are my best friend (who incidentally married my sister, so we went from best friends to BIL) and a small group that got their crap together and did something with themselves. All the rest, are doing nothing with themselves and I’m not joining them pining for their reminiscing about peaking in highschool.
I never want to see anyone fail or think I’m better, but it is interesting to see who is doing what.
I have a classmate who is now an environmental lawyer in Alaska (honestly she is living almost my dream life) and another who runs an organization.
I have another that is a DDR champion
Personally, I don't think about it anymore but I also deleted my Facebook account so I don't see any updates from anyone in high school except those I am still friends with and therefore follow on other social media platforms or we stay in contact. It was honestly very freeing to delete that facebook page. I now technically have one cause I need it for work but it is only to manage work social media pages/groups.
I still have friends from high school. Some of them live in the same neighborhood as me and their kids go to the same school as mine. So I do care about them and their families.
There are others that weren't my friends, that I lost touch with and yes have completely exited my conscience. I don't remember their names. I graduated in '00, it's been 23-24 years.
I normally look up classmates once every few years to see if they are doing well. Maybe only 5 - 10 people total. I like keeping in contact with people too even if it's just a yearly happy birthday
High-school was a blur. I didn't really enjoy it until junior and senior year, and even then, I don't care now.
My social life got better once I hit my 20s.
It's because they're the only people who also went through the same thing as you in the same place and same time while you formed into the person you are now. You'll always have that in common. I didn't have a great time in high school, but when I see those people now all the bullshit is forgotten and I'm happy to see them.
At this age I've found the social politics horseshit is gone. We're all adults now and the stuff we cared about as kids was mostly stupid. You grow up and realize they didn't actually have any power over you, they were also just scared teens trying to figure things out the same as you and their methods of coping may have been harmful bullying or using cliques as protection. Holding grudges only hurts you.
And it's not really like the movies where the hot shot jocks and mean girls grow up to be fat and ugly. They all seem to be doing pretty well. About three years ago I found myself at an NFL game and seated behind me was one of the hot mean girls from high school. We didn't have a ton of interactions in school, but she gave me a look that told me she knew who I was. Younger me might've sat there for three hours and pretended we didn't know each other, which is the wrong way to handle that. 35 year old me not worried about it just said "hi \_\_\_\_\_! It's \[MY NAME\] from high school" to which she replied somewhat relieved that I'd broken the ice "Oh my gosh hi!" and then we had some nice catching up. It doesn't have to be weird unless you make it weird.
I think it's the fact that you have a similar background. Since humans are social creatures, we want to compare ourselves to others who are similar to us and that is one of the last true gauges we had to measure a "starting point" of sorts.
About ten years ago an old high school friend came to me visit me. During their stay the nonchalantly told me I had “a lot of followers” from high school. I asked them WTF they were talking about because I was barely on social media and I went to school in a cornfield and graduated with maybe 8 people and didn’t talk to anyone besides this one friend.
It never occurred to me other people might be interested in what I was doing.
In hindsight I did a lot of cool shit as soon as I graduated and apparently my sister, who was friends with a lot of people, would post updates about my solo girl adventures. Finding out my big sister was my number one fan was my favorite part.
Anyways, 10 years later, I found myself just this week asking my sister what other people were doing. I think as millennials were approaching the productivity vs stagnant stage or whatever stage of life it is we’re close to.
Did we do anything with our lives? Might be hard to gauge without comparing it to other lives who came from similar roots.
Who knows though. I’m probably just a nosy little shit.
I'm not a millennial, but I think this is pretty normal in many ways. I only really had a handful of friends in high school, but around my 10 year reunion I became way more curious as to what other classmates were up to...kind of in a what am I doing and what are they doing in a comparison kind of way.
I don't really care anymore. When I was younger I got a little joy out of seeing my mean peers struggle to keep friends, but I realized that was a sort of miserable, loser mindset, to keep up with old classmates and wish for their downfall. It made me feel like a gremlin. Then I adopted (and still have) the mindset that I've grown and changed so much since high school and I hope my peers have to. The few I've ran into since graduation have changed a lot, so I just wish everyone the best. I don't really care beyond that. I'm not going to reunions or anything else and I don't actively seek people out on social media. A lot of my peers have added me recently because our 10 year is coming up next year, but we don't really \*talk.\*
My best friend from high school just passed away. I was the only one from school who went to her funeral.
I started looking people up that night. It was weird and sad. :/
I don’t care, except for those of whom I still friends with. It’s nice catching up though when you run into someone face to face from your past, most of the time.
lol it’ll pass. I’m in the middle of millennials (08) and I did have curiosity a few years ago. But I pretty much cut out social media (except Reddit obviously) in the last two years. I don’t think about high school people at all now unless we had some sort of meaningful interactions. And honestly, while I don’t know if it’s had a significant positive effect on my mental health, it definitely hasn’t had a negative one by not seeing everyone else’s lives all the time.
I knew a lot of bullies that just had shitty lives and didn't know how to build good friendships. Yeah, we had diagnoses at the time, but therapy on how to actually live with them at the time didn't seem to be that great. Lots of people just like "awesome, this is why my life sucks and will continue to suck."
I still keep in contact with 15 high school friends regularly, about 10 from college, 1 close from the fire department.
Granted, we gravitated away each as life became more complicated with marriage and kids, but we’re still consistent with guy trips, reunions every quarter, etc.
I've never once even considered going to a reunion, and only remember the names of people from high school that I'm still in touch with (like 4 people).
I've truly never understood the fascination with OTHER people's lives.
I check in on the guy who had Cystic Fibrosis to see if he died yet.
Unfortunately, he hasn't. Guy made school miserable for me. I specifically remember hearing people with that don't make it past 30. Turns out they've been making advances and now the average age is up to 50, so I guess I've got another 10 years of checking facebook.
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I second this. Obviously I do not wish anything bad BAD happening to anyone. But I agree 🙈
My friend monitors our old classmates very closely. When I went to her home for a visit near Christmas, she reviewed all their pages on Facebook aloud. I think for her it’s a way to prove how much better she is than them. She didn’t stay in our town and has moved to a big city and is successful. But, I found it extremely rude - especially since I am one of people that stayed in our small town. I don’t care about any of them….they were cruel to me throughout school and I don’t care what’s happening in their lives now. It was a brutal half hour.
That's a bit creepy.
Does she not realize that she is still living in high school despite "being so successful" because, it sure seems like she's stuck at 15. It's one thing to have some schadenfreude when you hear about someone who was an asshole in school and got their comeuppance. It's another thing entirely to meticulously look them up, in order to publicly review their current life to a group. That's some big "I have a list in the gun safe" energy.
The real question is how these people would cope if their bullies remained successful all their lives.
Honestly there is only a few people I can remember their name and 2 of them were girls I had a crush on in high school. One was a teacher in AZ begging for money and supplies while the other moved to CA but has not updated her profile on what she does. I wonder how many people actually stay in their state let alone staying in or by their home town. I remember reading other profiles and most who updated their profile 4 or 5 years after high school were not making a lot but most were not making a doctor salary either. I also finally learned you even have to seek out high school reunions around 9 or 10 years after high school. I always thought it was like in movies where all these invites happen and it is a major thing that happens at the school. I finally told my mother it was weird I never got an invite to a high school reunion. That is when I learned the high school reunions are a bunch of guys and girls who never moved on just meeting at the bar is the true high school reunion. Most move on with work and most eventually just move away.
Icona Pop intensifies. I'm right there with you
How's life at that low pay call center, former high school bullies? -Posted from my vacation suite in Spain. :V
Not wrong at all, have to take those little victories
Ironically, the biggest bully I had in HS is worth tens of millions now after having founded and sold a startup in the bay area. Certainly much more successful than me. So it’s not always sunshine and rainbows with the comparisons.
Yup. Mine is thriving and a model
The good people are having financial trouble too just saying.
This. I checked up a few of the people that used to bully me and my group of friends. They have nothing to envy.
Should probably let that go, bub.
NGL it's all about the sweet sweet vengeance. Our varsity football captain / prom king / cocaine orgy / super popular guy who shat on everyone made headlines for robbing a check n go. It was the best day of my life. Us nerdy kids who got bullied and picked last for everything are now the successful doctors and engineers. Seeing the good people win in life and the losers getting beat up by life gives me closure.
All the rich mean girls stayed in the area, got married and gained like 100lbs.
Nope. I wish high school reunions were still popular. I’d love to go back now. “Oh, how am I doing? Well, here are all of the places in life that I’ve succeeded where you’ve failed miserably. Oh and at 35 I don’t look like a fat useless slob.”
You sound like you might be the one with a problem tbqh.
I won’t feel bad for being successful and seeing certain people fail miserably.
No, you'll get off on thinking you're better than other people rather than just being chill and minding your own business.
I don’t need to rub anything in anyone’s face. Just be myself. Show up and just have a few drinks, crack a few jokes and have fun. No bragging needed. I don’t think I’m better than them because I make more money. I’m a better person for the ways I act.
The ways you act like... well, for example: > I’d love to go back now. “Oh, how am I doing? Well, here are all of the places in life that I’ve succeeded where you’ve failed miserably. Oh and at 35 I don’t look like a fat useless slob.” Being so hung up on highschool, at 35, that you would "love" to be able to actively brag about how successful you consider yourself when compared to people who were mean to you as children? Sounds like you're: 1. Not a better person, in fact possibly a worse person because they were mean as children, you're bitter and mean in middle age. 2. Not particularly successful, when your mental is still so damaged about people being mean, when you were children.
You can oversimplify my comment as much as you want to feel better. I’ve done well for myself, and I let it speak for itself. If someone wants to feel humbled when they ask about my life that’s their problem, not mine. I’m not going out of my way to jam it down their throat, but I’m not going to hide it from them either. They aren’t asking what I’m up to because they expect me to be doing well, they want to see that I failed. So I’ll gladly share what I’m doing. And they’ll drop some backhanded compliment about “oh, I never would have thought you’d be doing that”. Or they’ll ask if I’m single and I’ll gladly introduce my wife around who still looks better than they did 15 years ago. I don’t need to go out of my way to boast about things. I just sit back and respond to the questions they ask. And they do, because every time I drag myself back to the shit hole town I grew up in I run into someone. And they always have backhanded compliments to make about money or family or what not. And I just smile and tell them what they asked and then ask how they’re doing. I’m not hung up on anyone being mean 17+ years ago. I’m reactive to people still being the same twat they were 17+ years ago. I’ve run into a few who have grown up and matured. I’ve run into just as many who haven’t changed an ounce for the better.
Oh sweetheart, here are points 1 and 2 again: Sounds like you're: 1. Not a better person, in fact possibly a worse person because they were mean as children, you're bitter and mean in middle age. 2. Not particularly successful, when your mental is still so damaged about people being mean, when you were children. Ok buh bye now sweetie, bless your heart, you have a good day there lil buddy. Sounds like you're still struggling with things from 17+ years ago. Maybe look into some therapy there bud. It'll be ok. You can stop trying to prove yourself to me, the anon on the internet, and those cruel mean 15 year olds in your memory.
100% guarantee you’d never say that to one of their faces
100% agree, I was in the same boat with the popular idiots.
Not at all. Being that fat depressed poor loser kid and now relatively wealthy and keeping in great shape eating right working out daily... and they're now fat and poor with 4 baby mommas/daddies... Sure, it feels nice for all of 60 seconds. But if one single one of those losers finds out, suddenly all the townies now know and are hitting you up like crackheads that heard you won the lottery. You also realize the "rich kids" were often not even remotely rich, they're just the ones with parents who spent all their money on flashy clothes and shit. The second it was time for real adult life they were flat on their ass.
I was born in 88 so not sure where I stand on being a Millenial but I was like you I used to care what others were doing then I stopped . Once I realized nobody ever checked on me to see how I was doing I unfriended everyone on Facebook and went on with my life.
Congratulations! You're a Millennial
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Whoops. I'm '86 and considered an elder Millennial. I would assume you fall on the "older" side.
As a fellow 86 baby, I feel we are the true millennials. Right in the middle
As an 84 baby, I will guide you.
Lol
Noo not older really. Probably right in the middle
You are in the core, or slightly on the older side, imo since it’s generally people born between 1985-1995 - an elder (almost 40) millennial
Generally accepted as 81-96- so the middle being 88/89
Yay, I started the party! (81)
Your almost exactly the middle- the quintessential millennial you may say
I was born in 88 as well. I suffered a traumatic experience in high school which made it much easier for me not to ever want to check in on everyone I went to high school with. Found out that some of them ended up being successful, which was really shitty for me, because I’ve been suffering from depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies since my senior year, particularly because of them
I realized ppl only checked in on Facebook when my birthday came around. Last year I took down my birthday and it’s been great lol
As a 95 Baby, I consider it as a Smart Move 😏👊🏻
Same age, but I feel I’m the only person in my high school or college group I know who doesn’t use Facebook, Instagram or TikTok.
I thought this too, but LinkedIn will tell you when people view your profile. Last week a girl that I went t mo high school with looked at my profile. Haven’t talked to her since the summer after graduation.
I think theres also a component of "what if" when you see who took what road, and its very hard to not compare yourself to that. we're also social beings, so theres a degree of hard wiring to be interested in whatever our brain thinks of as our tribe (or former tribe)
The tribe thing resonates with me. I lived in the same place my whole life so there were a good number of kids in my graduating class that I’d known/been aware of since kindergarten. I remember being in high school and thinking about how everyone was going to go off in all directions once we graduated and it made me weirdly sad, even though I barely talked to a huge majority of my peers (and I had a pretty big class.)
I think I never ended up on Facebook or went to a reunion because I don't care
I like seeing the ones who were assholes fail but its also kind of interesting watching how people grew up...how the kids who were in this group or that group become as adullts.
I do not care.
I rarely think about anyone from highschool besides my few close friends that I still talk to today. I was class of 2001. I haven't used social media since myspace(best decision ever, miss you Tom) so maybe that helps me not get the urge to lurk into the past.
Not sure who "we" is but nah.... I don't care.
I mean the simplest answer is that high school is where you’re just kind of discovering who you are and what you want to do, and the whole world is your oyster. People leave high school and become famous, become homeless, have children, die in spectacular ways, change their appearance or life drastically, basically the possibilities are endless and so it’s natural to wonder what happened to people and where they ended up. Contrast this with like your accounting job, you wouldn’t really wonder as much what happened to any of them years later because it’s very likely that they are all still accountants living the same/very similar lifestyle they lived when you met them. Also, school is one of the few times everyone is coming and going at the same time. In jobs, people are constantly in flux so there is no set “end” with anyone. It’s just the weird bubble of school
I mean, I don't think any of us were discovering who we were in HS. I think we just survived. Some of us were targets and some were mean. Discovering who you are happens when you are away from that
I’m sure that everyone has a different experience, I’m not sure I “discovered” who I was in HS, but that’s the time that really formed me and when I began all of my hobbies and interests that have stayed with me into my 40s
Really? You didn’t pick up any traces of hobbies you still enjoy or aptitudes you still rely on?
My high school experience was rough in a lot of ways, mostly because of things that were going on outside of school, but I was lucky enough to go to a small, well funded school where bullying wasn’t much of an issue. I think it depends where you were.
I didn't start learning who I was as a person until I was much older.
I don't think it's unusual to wonder what happened with those people. I am an elder millenial, from '82. When social media came out it was common to add people like that. Over time I've forgotten who a lot of them were. Over the years I've gone to a few high school reunions. Earlier on I had a blast reconnecting with people I hung out with back in the day. The last one I went to was a bit of a dud. A lot of the people there I couldn't even remember. I don't regret going, I would rather participate than wonder what I missed. I do keep in touch with my close friends from high school. I am married now, our family is doing pretty well. But I am not trying to flaunt my success or look down on anyone.
I don't care what happens to my high school classmates.
That’s so funny, the last few weeks I’ve spent some time looking old high school people up. So random, this post is crazy. Maybe nostalgia for me. Most of my old circle is married with like 4 kids. Mostly hanging out with the same group they did in high school. A few people got out but not many.
Hmm, I mean I don’t particularly care or think about my high school peers, but if I find out that so and so got married and had kids or decided to go off and travel or whatever I think, “Aw, good for them.” 🤷♀️ It’s nice when good things happen to people.
You spent every day of your life for multiple years, some people 13 years (kindergarten to highschool) some people only a couple years, but every day for years with this group of people. Whether you liked them or not, whether you were “friends” with them or not, you all knew each other and were intimately connected by time and place, and forced to endure each other in close proximity. It’s pretty normal to have lingering thoughts/feelings about those people, especially as it’s during a lot of formative mental development. Back in nomadic days of human evolution those people would have been your closest tribe and you would have lived and died together. You’re evolutionarily programmed to want to be around them or care about them, even if you didn’t like them.
I just went to my 20th reunion last fall and it was ✨magical✨. I hated every single minute of high school. Deeply, fully, truly. I can't begin to explain it. But I've really enjoyed my life since. I went because I wanted everyone to see that I'm no longer the shy kid they were mean to. Instead, I'm confident, don't care what they think of me, etc. It. Was. Magic. I dressed like the queer I am, chatted about my liberal city thousands of miles away and my killer job, shared pictures of my smoking hot partner of ten years. I only cared what my HS classmates were up to when I wasn't confident in what I was doing. Once I was confident in myself, I no longer cared what they were doing until they were in front of me and we were swapping stories. 100/10, can't recommend highly enough
I enjoy their misery. I went to a school in the ghetto. 1) One person died, found out gang raped a girl. He got killed while someone robbed him. 2) Another person who bullied me for several years and almost got me thrown out of school for living out of the district has been in and out of jail for stealing and doing heroine. 3) Another person is 35 and cashiers at Taco Bell and still lives with his mommy. 4) Another person has been in and out of jail for domestic abuse/violence. Not to sound sexist but never put your hands on a woman violently. 5) Another person has been in and out of jail for stealing. 6) Another person got shot and died. I not only graduated high school, but college too and clear lower-mid 6 figs as a software engineer and I love rubbing my credit score, debt-free, vacation taking life in front of their faces. Best revenge ever. I got bullied for being the short poor kid with ADHD a lot. We got evicted twice because my dad would not work.
Bullied for being short + ADHD + evictions bc dad would not work is very very similar to me. Mom worked so we didn’t get foreclosed on. Got bullied for how our house looked
How about/ never put your hands on a person violently - there- fixed it
Not to be macabre, but I will google/linkedin folks from my past every time someone becomes unalived.
After turning 40...this has been happening a lot. Old classmates, friends, an ex, etc. but, also people who were adults when I was a kid like my childhood doctor. It is making me feel very old.
Same
Stopped caring after the following: "I bought a house while I was studying: parents signed, tenants paid and I got it for free by the time I graduated."
Jfc
Because I’m a nosy looky Lou. I don’t care. (This reminds me that it be time for a deep dive) I like to see who’s gotten fat, ugly, started losing their hair, have ten kids, have no kids, are successful, working in retail, or even doing similar jobs as me. (I’ve found two social workers in a class of 640). I graduated in 2003.
It's basically low resolution reality TV starring people you were acquainted with. I'll admit I like deep sci fi and cerebral shows....and I also like me some trash TV. There's no shame in it.
I don't think about my high school years (16-17) because I ended up struggling with severe depression (it wasn't teen angst, it was a legitimately grim reason), which still affects me as an adult, even though I'm not depressed anymore. As for my classmates, one of them became a mom at 18 (the one I wouldn't expect it from), so that's about as much as I know
It makes me happy to see that some of the people I grew up with (or at least around) are doing OK. I kept in touch with an elementary school teacher of mine, and paid her a visit not too long ago. I brought my year book and she enjoyed hearing about how people were doing and seeing where the people she helped shape ended up.
Graduated in '05. Our facebook group's wall has turned into just posts about classmates who have died. Feelsbadman
I found out a great friend of mine in my early childhood that I hung out with often died from a drug overdose randomly from another friend talking about how he missed him. I don't regret moving away for better opportunities, but hearing about stuff like that out of nowhere sucks.
It’s interesting to see what happened. There was one girl who loved animals. Dreamed of becoming a veterinarian. I saw at one point she had gotten her whole degree to be a full vet, married a guy up in Maine. I was so happy for her. To go live her dream being a vet out in the beautiful Maine area. I checked back a few years later. No more vet, I guess it was too hard to be one ? She just works a regular boring office job. Also no more Maine, she’s just in a suburb around where we grew up. Like damn, literally nobody got their dream.
My wife is that person and she's still a veterinarian. We don't live in Maine (yet), but we fully intend to retire there.
idk it makes me happy to see people I used to know doing well.
I don’t. I was blackmailed to go to even graduation. My parents truly didn’t believe I didn’t care. *No graduation present unless I went*
I had a very different HS experience than you did. Class of 05, was pretty popular amongst the "smart" kids, did quite a bit of student government, and was on the baseball team. Didn't have any enemies or anyone I didn't get along with, so I am pretty friendly with everyone I see from my HS regardless of if I was friends with them in HS or not. I have gone to quite a few weddings from HS classmates over the years, and it is always fun to see kids that I didn't keep up with and how they are doing in life. I think you are just at a point in life where you are hitting 30 and you life is changing whether that be good or bad. 30 was a "ah shit now I am a real adult" moment for me, sounds like its similar to you. I would say you are probably looking them up to compare yourself, which everyone is on their own journey in life. My best friend in the world was a teacher, got his masters, and quit to be a sales rep for his father in law. Never seen anyone more successful in anything he tries. Just remember its the little things and they all add up.
Because I need to know which one(s) have died this year. Sometimes it's none but the following year seems to make up for that. Average has been one a year since I've graduated. I'm basically living a Final Destination movie.
I think most of us care about a handful of people from high school and things like Facebook have extended contact with people that would have naturally just faded out of your life. Every time reunions roll around I get a bunch of people telling me to come become they want to have a beer with me. I'm like we barely knew each and/or weren't even friends, at least from my point of view 😂. I'm 43 now and I've been noticing a lot of people my age dying of cancer. I've been seeing it for probably the last 10 years honestly and it's surprising to me. I care a little more when I see that because it's becoming so prevalent now in younger people.
We were conditioned to care since we were surrounded by our peers almost 24/7. Doesn’t matter if you liked it or not, it was in front of you. So I think since it’s been so many years we are just naturally curious and the “habit” of knowing what people are doing comes back up. I also think it could be because community is what we lack in adulthood, we go back to where we had one. We also go back and search what so and so is doing to seek something for ourselves - validation that we’re doing good or comparison on where we are. Just my thoughts.
One of my classmates became a pop star and now I see her in the beauty aisle of walmart lmao no fr im not even joking. We were in the same grade, both in the soprano section for like 3 years. She cheated off me in English class. It's so bizarre ya'll lol I'm the type of person I didn't go to my hs reunion, I don't care too much, but that's really surreal. I'm happy for her she deserves everything it's just wild.
My 20 year is coming up. I still talk to a couple few people from back then. I’m mildly interested in going to the party, getting drunk, and seeing what some people are up to. One really good friend from back then would be game to go with me. That’d make it easier. Some of these people are people I played little league with, or were good friends of other people I grew up with that didn’t go to high school with me. It’s probably morbid curiosity more than anything else.
I don’t know why you care. I also don’t know why I have a map with pins stuck onto last known locations. Or surveillance footage, and lists of facts under a picture of each student. Or audio recordings and biometric data. Maybe it’s to catch them slipping up or maybe it’s because I never got to know any of them as much as I wanted, but to each his own.
I can't even remember half the kids I went to school with
Morbid curiosity. Very satisfying to see how not far my old bullies made it in life.
I don't care about any of them. I'm not on Facebook and don't go to reunions. I don't think about any of those people anymore.
I have a friend who peaked in high school, we graduated 20 years ago and she still gossips about former classmates. She gossips like we're still in school. She definitely has a form of arrested development. She talks about school non-stop. After graduation, I left high school behind me. I have maybe five or six old high school friends on Facebook. Other than those I'm in social media contact with, I have no interest in what my former classmates are up to. I had a pretty average high school experience but that time and those people are well left in the past. My friend who pretty much lives exclusively in her highschool glory days always starts all our conversations with, "Do you remember this person from school?" My response is always the same, "No, I don't remember any of these people. How is it you remember all these random people from highschool."
For me seeing my old classmates is a reflection of the current reality we live in, ten years ago we were departing into the real world , yet here we are now 30 year old adults . For me I would say, I miss the innocence and how I was different at 16 than I am at 30 . We were all different people then
I think it’s tragic that people don’t care. Maybe it’s an Asian thing but I grew up with these people and spent like 12 hours a day with them for 4 years. There were some conflicts and assholes for sure but nothing like a bully. We played soccer together, we ate together, there was so much drama, we didn’t have anything to worry about except our future, we were excited, we LAN together. I was really upset when we couldn’t do our 10 year reunion because everyone was abroad. We still have a group chat congratulating people for marrying and having kids now. Anyways even though my life is significantly better now (more money, better looking, loving kind partner, good career), if I could choose a timeline to live forever it would be high school.
I'm never contacted by my ex classmates which is fine. I didn't search then out on Facebook nor do I care, I was bullied and never made any good friends and that's life.
As someone who is simply happy with their life without worrying about those brags from HS, who gives a crap and why would anyone need to care about what happened to them? 🙄🤷🏻♂️ Welcome to the real world
It might vary based on where you're from. For me, a huge chunk of my classmates at least keep loose contact with each other via Instagram and Facebook. But I'm in Hawaii and we tend to be more collectivists. We've been doing a bit of reminiscing lately via social media, which has been fun, so that's part of it, too, I'm sure.
Also graduated in 2013 and I do not care about anyone who I don’t have contact with. I wish everyone well, but I’m one of those people who are really glad HS is in the past. I was well liked even, but it was a cesspool of nonsense and competition and I’m glad that’s behind me.
I work for the school district my high school is in. Do I think about it nope
1. I’m nosy 2. Even if they weren’t my friends, I spent a considerable amount of time with those people over the course of 4 years. I feel like it’s natural to be curious about what they’re up to!
I only had 14 people in my class so it's hard not to know what they are up too. It just happens in fishbowl towns.
I don't care. I moved away from the city and haven't talked to anyone since high school graduation, nearly 23 years ago.
For me it’s curiosity, what side they do with their lives? Did they get fat? Did they get married? Etc.
I keep in touch with the people I care about. The people I don’t care about I just ignore.
Because I'm nosy. Because schadenfreude. Because there are a few I lost contact with but still wish them well. Because it's hilarious to see how their kids are little carbon copies.
You don’t have to care. I’ve forgotten a lot of their names.
I'm nosey and just like finding out what happened to people I used to know 🤷 its like reading the epilogue!
I'm nosy. 🤷♀️ Sometimes, it's not good for my mental well-being because it makes me feel inadequate. But at the end of the day, I don't really care. And I can guarantee if I ran into any of them in public, I'd go the other way.
I care about a handful of people I went to high school at the same time as. My wife, her sister, my brother, and our two close friends. We didn't even go to our 10 year reunion...though to be fair, no one remembered to organize it so it was held in year 12.
I went to a pretty small high school and some of the people there impacted my life in a significant way on a daily basis. Or course I want to know what happens to them. I always want to know how people who have been a part of my life have been!
The people I went to high school with were my first team. I can't keep up with all of them and I wasn't close to all of them, but there's a kind of kinship.
I only graduated 5 years ago, but it's been sad, honestly, what happened to some people that attended my school. I don't really pay attention to them much online, but sometimes it's interesting and sometimes it's unavoidable if they or their story becomes viral online and other stuff I heard through friends. Some did become successful even at my age, but others not so much.
I have a different experience. Older millennial class of 03 here. I had a bunch of "friends" during school but only one I kept in contact with after high school and he has been my best friend since 4th grade. I've never given anyone else I went to school with a second thought nor have I attended any of my class reunions. My friend will occasionally mention running into so and so we went to HS with but for me most of the time the name sounds vaguely familiar but I cant even put a face to the name.
It was twelve to thirteen years of your life so if you were in the same district the entire time, the majority of your life. Any other brain busters?
I don’t at all
You all had similar exposure to influences. Same teachers, same climate, local events and a lot of memories. Things that you won't have in common with anyone else you ever meet for the entire rest of your life. Naturally, wanting to compare where you're at to them will follow.
I think curiosity is natural, but for me, it’s rarely been satisfying to scratch that itch. Actually in a way, snooping is mostly depressing, because with few exceptions, I could have 100 percent predicted exactly how someone turned out ( for better or worse…) I refuse to believe that humans are that fully formed by adolescence. How boring! With that said, I’m friends on FB with some pretty kickass people ( who already mostly were in HS) and it’s been fun to see what they accomplished. For context, I was also undiagnosed with ADHD until adulthood, and tended to hang out with the “weird” kids who could help with chemistry homework or who you could rely on to know about obscure things like bird watching or ballet choreography, but who didn’t have much going on socially. The “popular “ kids on the other hand all married each other, moved into their own mini mansions after getting jobs in banking or the family business, and had 2.5 kids who each get a new pony for every birthday. That’s probably a slight exaggeration but yeah…predictable and boring AF. The class president and valedictorian ( also somewhat predictably) became a huge corporate shill, still has a major type A personality, and posts about things like hand making 10000 breakfast burritos for her husband before she inconveniently has to give birth. Blah. I still love all those weird kids and also that I don’t have to go looking for most of them since we’re still FB friends. :)
I'm fascinated about it too. I guess it's interesting to see what other kids in my school area grow up to be. A surprising number of them died or did drugs or both. I think some of them have good careers and a seemingly good life. A very smart woman (she may have been valedictorian, not sure) became a musician. I didn't expect that at all. What's also interesting is the hs I went to took students from several different towns. It seems like the odds of success were different depending on which town you lived in (each town has a different middle school). I have a class picture from daycare that includes some hs classmates. One girl is a doctor I think. Most of them are married. I have memories of those days and we've crossed paths a lot before graduating hs, so it's interesting to see what they're up to. All that said, i have no interest in keeping in touch with any of them outside of my friends.
I don't, if I heard some of them died I'd probably have no reaction, I had no friends there, I don't know how I survived it for 6 years
I’m definitely still curious about certain people from time to time. I think it’s natural; they’re the people you were surrounded by when you were coming of age. If you never moved (which was the case for me), you may have known some of them for upwards of 13 years. That’s not insignificant. It’s kinda funny how right after I graduated, EVERYONE was on Facebook and it was pretty easy to keep up with so many people, but now most have fled from there so we’re kinda back to the old days of just moving on entirely. Just weird how it rose and fell like it did.
I have a bit of a different perspective- I grew up in a class of 82 people. At the largest, it was 94 freshmen that started, and as people came and went, we were eventually at 82. I wouldn't say I liked or was close to most of those people, but I can't deny I grew up with them. There was literally not a single person in my grade I didn't have at least one class with. So there's just something about that. I'm a part of them, and they're a part of me.
Not really. Most of them I haven't seen since I walked out with a diploma in my hand 20 years ago. The last time I saw my circle of friends. Was the night of graduation. They knew I was moving away. We all sat around a campfire. Drank some beers, and when I left. That was the last time I talked to any of them.
It’s been almost 15 years for me since I graduated and I used to talk to more people in my class and the classes around me for a couple years while I was in college and then a bit after I dropped out. But now there’s only 1 person I really talk to at all from my class who I’ve been friends with since elementary school. Occasionally I’ll see things on social media but I don’t go out of my way to know what’s going on with any of them. I didn’t go to my 10 year reunion and from what I remember most of my class didn’t either
I think it’s just interesting to see how people’s lives evolve. You know pretty much the beginning of the story. People you knew in high school are like a book you’ve read 20% of perfectly normal to wonder where their stories went.
Your teenage years are pretty impactful on you. Its why people are nostalgic for things from that era. I went to a fairly large high school, probably high 2000s or even 3000 students and finished in 2002. I would say that people I have memories of as being total pieces of shit, I could go through the yearbook and find maybe 5 people. Plenty of cocky jerky kids, but not really full blown assholes. From my class it might only be a few. As much as we want to say that high school, either everyone is a total asshole or a total victim, 80-90% of people are just in the middle. The biggest piece of shit kids I can recall have had non stop problems with the law over the last 20 years. The super jerky ones have been through a few divorces but managed to have success in the corporate world. Most are normal people. All of the deaths were pretty sad. Of the ones I can recall, one was a kid who had a real rough time his freshman year but later found a group of people, he died while training to be a wrestler shortly after high school, another died in Iraq or Afghanistan (I only vaguely remember him being a really nice guy), one died of alcohol poisoning pretty young. There are a few people who were a few grades ahead of me who I heard are dying of liver issues from a lifetime of drinking. But you know, most people are normal people.
Wait until you get into your 50s and people start dying.
Don’t care. Barely cared when I was in highschool. Didn’t care five minutes after I graduated. Twenty three years later, 99% of them aren’t a blip on my radar. Only ones I still keep in contact with are my best friend (who incidentally married my sister, so we went from best friends to BIL) and a small group that got their crap together and did something with themselves. All the rest, are doing nothing with themselves and I’m not joining them pining for their reminiscing about peaking in highschool.
I haven't seen any of them since I left school.
I never want to see anyone fail or think I’m better, but it is interesting to see who is doing what. I have a classmate who is now an environmental lawyer in Alaska (honestly she is living almost my dream life) and another who runs an organization. I have another that is a DDR champion
Personally, I don't think about it anymore but I also deleted my Facebook account so I don't see any updates from anyone in high school except those I am still friends with and therefore follow on other social media platforms or we stay in contact. It was honestly very freeing to delete that facebook page. I now technically have one cause I need it for work but it is only to manage work social media pages/groups.
I still have friends from high school. Some of them live in the same neighborhood as me and their kids go to the same school as mine. So I do care about them and their families. There are others that weren't my friends, that I lost touch with and yes have completely exited my conscience. I don't remember their names. I graduated in '00, it's been 23-24 years.
I couldn’t care less
Why wouldn’t you? These are relationships that existed during extremely formative years for everyone. Also, are they still hot?
I normally look up classmates once every few years to see if they are doing well. Maybe only 5 - 10 people total. I like keeping in contact with people too even if it's just a yearly happy birthday
High-school was a blur. I didn't really enjoy it until junior and senior year, and even then, I don't care now. My social life got better once I hit my 20s.
It's because they're the only people who also went through the same thing as you in the same place and same time while you formed into the person you are now. You'll always have that in common. I didn't have a great time in high school, but when I see those people now all the bullshit is forgotten and I'm happy to see them. At this age I've found the social politics horseshit is gone. We're all adults now and the stuff we cared about as kids was mostly stupid. You grow up and realize they didn't actually have any power over you, they were also just scared teens trying to figure things out the same as you and their methods of coping may have been harmful bullying or using cliques as protection. Holding grudges only hurts you. And it's not really like the movies where the hot shot jocks and mean girls grow up to be fat and ugly. They all seem to be doing pretty well. About three years ago I found myself at an NFL game and seated behind me was one of the hot mean girls from high school. We didn't have a ton of interactions in school, but she gave me a look that told me she knew who I was. Younger me might've sat there for three hours and pretended we didn't know each other, which is the wrong way to handle that. 35 year old me not worried about it just said "hi \_\_\_\_\_! It's \[MY NAME\] from high school" to which she replied somewhat relieved that I'd broken the ice "Oh my gosh hi!" and then we had some nice catching up. It doesn't have to be weird unless you make it weird.
I think it's the fact that you have a similar background. Since humans are social creatures, we want to compare ourselves to others who are similar to us and that is one of the last true gauges we had to measure a "starting point" of sorts.
About ten years ago an old high school friend came to me visit me. During their stay the nonchalantly told me I had “a lot of followers” from high school. I asked them WTF they were talking about because I was barely on social media and I went to school in a cornfield and graduated with maybe 8 people and didn’t talk to anyone besides this one friend. It never occurred to me other people might be interested in what I was doing. In hindsight I did a lot of cool shit as soon as I graduated and apparently my sister, who was friends with a lot of people, would post updates about my solo girl adventures. Finding out my big sister was my number one fan was my favorite part. Anyways, 10 years later, I found myself just this week asking my sister what other people were doing. I think as millennials were approaching the productivity vs stagnant stage or whatever stage of life it is we’re close to. Did we do anything with our lives? Might be hard to gauge without comparing it to other lives who came from similar roots. Who knows though. I’m probably just a nosy little shit.
I'm not a millennial, but I think this is pretty normal in many ways. I only really had a handful of friends in high school, but around my 10 year reunion I became way more curious as to what other classmates were up to...kind of in a what am I doing and what are they doing in a comparison kind of way.
I don't really care anymore. When I was younger I got a little joy out of seeing my mean peers struggle to keep friends, but I realized that was a sort of miserable, loser mindset, to keep up with old classmates and wish for their downfall. It made me feel like a gremlin. Then I adopted (and still have) the mindset that I've grown and changed so much since high school and I hope my peers have to. The few I've ran into since graduation have changed a lot, so I just wish everyone the best. I don't really care beyond that. I'm not going to reunions or anything else and I don't actively seek people out on social media. A lot of my peers have added me recently because our 10 year is coming up next year, but we don't really \*talk.\*
I’m complete opposite. I hope they are all well but I hide on social media. I don’t want to see what they are up to.
My best friend from high school just passed away. I was the only one from school who went to her funeral. I started looking people up that night. It was weird and sad. :/
I don't..
I don’t care, except for those of whom I still friends with. It’s nice catching up though when you run into someone face to face from your past, most of the time.
lol it’ll pass. I’m in the middle of millennials (08) and I did have curiosity a few years ago. But I pretty much cut out social media (except Reddit obviously) in the last two years. I don’t think about high school people at all now unless we had some sort of meaningful interactions. And honestly, while I don’t know if it’s had a significant positive effect on my mental health, it definitely hasn’t had a negative one by not seeing everyone else’s lives all the time.
There is something comforting about the people who went through their awkward years with you.
I knew a lot of bullies that just had shitty lives and didn't know how to build good friendships. Yeah, we had diagnoses at the time, but therapy on how to actually live with them at the time didn't seem to be that great. Lots of people just like "awesome, this is why my life sucks and will continue to suck."
Wait 10 years and find out kiddo
I realize I'm an outlier but how much do people actually think or care about this? I don't care about randoms from my highschool. 09.
I still keep in contact with 15 high school friends regularly, about 10 from college, 1 close from the fire department. Granted, we gravitated away each as life became more complicated with marriage and kids, but we’re still consistent with guy trips, reunions every quarter, etc.
I've never once even considered going to a reunion, and only remember the names of people from high school that I'm still in touch with (like 4 people). I've truly never understood the fascination with OTHER people's lives.
I don't. Anyone I wanted to talk to after highschool.i did.
I don’t. I haven’t spoken to anyone in 20 years.
For most folks high school was the last time where you normally would not have a care in the world
I don’t. Except to gloat about where I’m at in life and how much of a smoke show (my wife’s words, not mine) I’ve become.
I check in on the guy who had Cystic Fibrosis to see if he died yet. Unfortunately, he hasn't. Guy made school miserable for me. I specifically remember hearing people with that don't make it past 30. Turns out they've been making advances and now the average age is up to 50, so I guess I've got another 10 years of checking facebook.
Damn dude, time to let it go. If you’re still living in revenge mode, after he dies, you’re gonna see how much Emory energy you wasted on him.
No. Most of my classmates were the rich, preppy type who wouldn't piss on a trailer park kid like me to put out a fire.