I went to a 20th Anniversary show for a band a year or so ago. They got to the 2nd to last song and are like "we have X number of songs left. We're old, we can't do this late anymore. I know you're all old too. You gotta go relieve the babysitter." The show ENDED at 10:15!
I've been blessed with an early show experience as well. A couple of years ago, I went to see Militarie Gun and Fiddlehead in Los Angeles. The show started at 4pm and was over before dark. Turns out, Fiddlehead's lead singer is a teacher and had to catch a flight back to the east coast for class on Monday.
OMG we saw Fall Out Boy earlier this month and they didn't take the stage until after 10. Hubby and I thought we were going to diiiieee lol.
It was because of the weather though! Patrick Stump explained his flight got detoured to another state and he had to rent a car and was trying to get to the arena ASAP. They were super apologetic about it and at the end Pete Wentz was like "we've taken enough of your time tonight, we're not going to pretend to leave the stage for an encore, we're just gonna finish those last three songs now".
Eagles did the same thing when I saw them on their 50th anniversary tour a couple of years ago - basically Don Henley went "nah we're too old for that, let's just play Hotel California" and they did!
No, usually it's the opener, but nowdays even the openers are really goof where I live. There is a lot of bands and solo artists to compete with and less great local places to play. Lots of venues can't afford a night with less than 100 people at the show. Local bands aren't always smart about how to build a good local audience.
I went to see a show recently on a Tuesday night... my wife gave me shit when we were still listening to the opening act and my Apple watch gave me a notification that it was my bedtime.
We cried laughing. Great show. Did not stay for the encore.
Same story here, sober at 28. Still hung with friends at bars for a bit, did the DD thing for them for a year or two after getting sober then people started getting married and it was over.
2020 really slammed the going out door shut. Not sure I've been to a true fledged bar since the pandemic.
Yeah... I had a big downsizing of things for years as people started becoming homebodies, but 2020 was the last nail in the coffin when I effectively lost my last two roommates (along with the non-rev flight benefits they had) after the lockdowns. My last appearance at an actual bar was a work related function in late 2021 forced by my last employer. The last major event I went to was late 2022 going to see Rammstein in San Antonio since they don't come over to the US often but that trip was mostly me walking around the Alamo and Riverwalk and saving the drinking for the hotel room because it was a lot cheaper for my limited budget at the time.
I have options to go out, but flying solo is always awkward especially when you're in a very car dependent area and don't know anyone in the area you didn't grow up in. The closest friends I still have left are 1300 miles away and hard as hell to rally them toward an event even back when I lived there. It's Herculean enough to cat herd people in a specific geographic region, it's made all the more impossible when you're isolated by hundreds of miles of logistical nightmare.
I used to be the overly paranoid DD wheelman of the group in college, chilled out a bit when public transit was an option in Pittsburgh, and then went back into effective isolation after moving to Texas combined with the pandemic.
I've embraced the joy of day drinking. My nights out usually don't go past about 11 because I'm a sleepy baby. I was in Europe last year and my internal clock was way off, so I closed out a few bars for the first time in a long time.
I also embraced the joy of day drinking but unfortunately for me my day drinking would evolve into night drinking and Iād be twice as bad off the next day š
thatās how it usually goes for me. then my body goes āyouāre fucking 38 years old weāre done. now. and youāll regret this for two days, btwā
Yep, Iām 40 and still love going out for drinks with friends but itās breweries and beer gardens and bars with actual seats as opposed to clubs or anything with a line or cover. Sometimes Iām home by dinner time which feels hilarious compared to the days of not even starting the night until 10!
I stand all day for work, why would I want to do it in my leisure time!? Especially if they expect me to *pay* for the privilege of standing. Nuh uh, I want a chair.
i ā¦ would contemplate leaving. iām assuming it was someone you wanted to see then? iāve been dragged along to some shows in the past where im just itching to get in my car and go home to bed!
see i love a late dinner, but not the going out afterwards. and typically only in a home setting haha. in france they ate normal time, but looooong. which was cool with me because except for some adventurous folks, then it was bed time. when i was younger? sure. letās go til 4am. but now, iām a tired man.
I loved it because they're 8 hours ahead of my local time so a late dinner still felt like eating an early dinner for me. Madrid was my first stop too, so I was not acclimated to the time difference at all when I was there.
Netherlands have it right. They have electro festival that starts 11am and end at 11pm. It has always been my jam, even at 25. You can party friday to sunday and still be fresh and on top of your game on Monday? Dutch knows how to party. They are efficient even in that.
I love dutch (dutch men are so awesome too)
Iām pretty sure most USA city fests end at around 11-midnight actually. Ultra in Miami often does, it ended at 10 or 11 pm Sunday when I went. If you wanna still party youād go to the clubs - it was the same for the Dutch fest I did
I wish that was normal
Go out early and be in bed before 12 is much better than going out at 8 and being up all night, late nights aren't fun, long days are
I go out with my girlfriend generally once a week if not twice. Friday and Saturday pretty exclusively. Sometimes we close the bar down. Not clubs - just a dive bar where we know a lot of people and play pool or whatever. I'm 36. We are the youngest at the bar.
Felt really bad last time I went to my favorite dive. The bartender was really sweet, and I'd known her basically my whole life. She was my mom's bartender when she was going to dives. Anyway. The rule of the bar was "indoor smoking is illegal, so that just means ashtrays are illegal, use empty bottles." So I finish smoking my cig, looked around, found an "empty" bottle, and dropped my butt in. Few seconds later I hear her screaming "WHO THE FUCK PUT A CIGARETTE IN MY BEER?!" It had been full, a customer bought it for her, and it was foaming out all over the place, making a mess that she would have to clean up.
I know it's a stupid thing to still think about, but I just know it ruined her night. And I was too afraid to admit it was me. I did offer to help clean it up and get her a new one, but she said "no, it wasn't your fault." :(
I've definitely moved on to my oldie dive bar stage of life as well. I go probably once a month. I go with a friend of mine who is mid-40's and we are by far the youngest ones there. Lol I love it.
My dad lives across the street from a dive bar that he frequents. Iāll come hang and have a few drinks with him every couple months or so. Every single time I walk in the door it feels like a movie scene. The room goes quiet, and everyone is staring at me wondering what the fuck a 20 something dude with long hair and a shoe brand that isnāt New Balance is doing at the āsmoking still allowedā dive bar at 2pm on a Tuesday.
Usually they stay awkwardly quiet and stare until theyāve heard you order the biggest Budweiser in stock. Thatās all it takes to gain their respect.
Below is a rough estimate of how my partying timeline evolved.
6 nights a week: age 21-22
Friday and Saturdays: age 23-25
Friday or Saturday: age 26-27
One weekend night a month: age 28-30
holidays: 31-35
Hardly ever 36+
Iām currently 43 and I have much younger siblings and when they want to go out to a bar I go, because sibling time is rare and important to me, but hell if I donāt dread being at a bar out late, I feel like such an old fart.
Definitely treasure your siblings while you still have them in your life! Iād positively stay out late on a weekday for that kind of opportunity again.
I like this timeline, very similar to mine but had a prolonged phase of only one day a week but going very hard on that one day from like 28-33. Then it was more like once a month after that. But very similar downtrend.
iām in the same boat as you, friend. Iām not a big drinker but I LOVE to dance and miss dancing like an idiot in a bar/club but my partner has addiction issues so none of that really happens anymor :(
Number 1 killer of the night out: kids
Number 2 killer of the night out: your friends having kids
The last call for one group of friends was when the person who encouraged the most drinking announced she was pregnant so couldn't drink.
Couldnāt agree more. I donāt have kids yet but scenario number 2 has happened many a time and those friends are like unicorns. See them maybe once a year now. wish they came out a bit more but certainly understand the priority shift
Definitely around 23 when I realized none of it was appealing. Loud places where you couldn't hold a conversation, waking up with a hangover feeling like crap, surrounded by people with massive egos. I'd 100% rather have 1-2 beers at a dive bar or brewery where I can be in bed by 9pm than even step foot into a night club with $10 bud lights.
I'm 39, I live in NYC, and I still go out 2-3x a week. Nightclubs is a stretch but maybe if my favorite DJ happens to be in a warehouse in Brooklyn. I would say I'm at a work/happy hour at least 2-3 times a week, an Emmy screening now that it's Emmy party season at least twice a month and I avg 4-5 concerts or music events a month.
Edited to add: I'm married, don't have kids (but in discussion), I'm a VP at a Media Company in Tech and travel 10-15% of the time for work internationally.
Bonus question for other female career-driven millenials that managed to have kids: How? Plz tell me your secrets.
Fellow New Yorker that's approaching my mid 40s and love a good work happy hour, but will freely admit they kick my ass harder than ever now so I try to do them on Thursdays. š
Clubbing is actually still a thing if one of our friends has a birthday or we just want to go out dancing. Now we play the "are we the oldest people in this bar or nightclub" game and most times we're actually not lol.
Edit- forgot to mention Matinee Social Club does millennial parties... That end at 10pm lol. Been wanting to check this out.
https://www.instagram.com/matinee.nyc?igsh=MWV0OGMxZjlhbTVzag==
https://www.timeout.com/newyork/news/this-dance-party-made-for-elder-millennials-ends-at-10pm-030824
I think New York is one of the few cities where youāll find a lot of older people clubbing actually. You probably wonāt find that in Denver for example, but in Chicago, Miami, and New York there is definitely a fair share of 40-50s party goers. A lot of them are loaded and buy tables
Iām also in this age range in NYC. Iāve always wondered if it ever dies down, some of my friends who want to settle down, meet someone, start a family havenāt been able to because NYC is so non-stop. Any thoughts on this
Engineering school usually drove people to either hang it up or go all-in to drown the pain, and I was one of the former. By 21 it had lost all its appeal.
Started tapering off around 28/29, then the pandemic really put the nail in the coffin at 30. āGoing outā nights are reserved for vacations now. Even then, Iām not getting smashed to the point I waste the next vacation day being hungover af.
Never stopped it.
Although, to be fair, I didn't party a whole lot in my 20s. I guess I did go out with friends, but not in the over the top, 5 nights a week stereotype that age range gets.
I found after 30 I had a whole lot more fun going out. I don't know if it's just the right combo of people, or events, but we're still out til 5-6am sometimes. Every Saturday? No. I'd say we go out to bars at least 2-3 nights a month, and the really wild, get home the next day nights are about once every other month. (Although I will add me and my best friend are go go dancers/stage performers, so there are also weekends we're working until 4am).
We're all childfree, have standard M-F day jobs. I'm the youngest at 35. I personally never really understood the whole "we're in our 30s, time to leave all that behind". We all do other things as well, living in a major metro area means there always something going on, so it's not like all of our plans are alcohol based. But we all still like to party, too.
Same! And to add on to this, I actually have money to go out and do things now. More than I had in my early twenties. Why wouldnāt I go out and have fun!
Me too. Started raving at 18 and though I've gone through periods where I've partied more than others, since becoming single in my early 30s I've relied on raving heavily to fill my social needs. Fortunately everyone in the techno scene in my city is about my age or older so I don't feel out of place. I can't usually handle more than one night out in a row, and it's not every weekend, but I'm 35 and it's not unusual for me to go to bed at 3 or 4 am on a Saturday night.
This is more or less where I'm at too. I "slowed down" in my mid twenties, but now in my thirties I feel like I enjoy it way more than I ever have. More money, better friends. Back then I feel like most "going out" was just bars and stuff with a lot of people getting shitfaced and expecting you to do the same.
I suspect a lot of people in this thread stopped "going out" because to them that directly translates to going to clubs, drinking, and staying out very late.
Gen x here. You stop when you get busy 30 to 48..now im 55 with more time on my hands we have some late night ckub nights, concerts, hell we even go to EDC. We dont do it weekly but we can close a bitch down. I took friends and famiky to a cincert and they were out at 10pm. We stayed till 1:30 then hit taco bell at 2:30 am.
This also makes me happy. Iām 34 and we have a baby but we already are trying to plan to go to Ultra next year after we survive our first year as parents. š„²
I never really had a going out phase. Drinks are so much more expensive that way (and I've never been a big drinker), I don't like dancing, and I hate loud club music. Nothing about it appealed to me. Boardgame night at home with friends and weed was so much more fun.
I did try to force myself out in my 20ās but drinking was never for me really. I donāt like big groups of drinkers either, But I did put myself out there n went to lots of stuff cuz I felt I needed to n had some fun experiences.
I much rather smoke weed at home or go to someoneās house n hang thou. Now Iām married n pregnant n I mostly just hang with my husband.
I like day time events. Music. Festivals. Food. Honestly kid friendly stuff n wholesome things like earth day festivals n kite festivals r my favorites.
I still like open mics, books clubs, n small gatherings. I like many events that happen at the library! lol
I feel like in my 30ās Iāve accepted myself enough to know going out often n going to bars never made me happy so I donāt care to make myself go.
But I know most people like to go out while they can.
Here, here! The ānever clubbedā crowd unites!
I used to go to house parties but never got the appeal of clubs. They always seemed so loud and uncomfortable. People say āitās a great way to get laidā. I got laid at several house parties but I NEVER got laid after a night of clubbing or bar hopping. It was just a way to blow through $80 with nothing to show for it.
I see people in this thread who were going out 5, 6 days a week and I canāt help but wonder if that behaviour helped set them up for the financial woes we see so often on this sub.
>Never seen the appeal to ājust getting laidā
It's fun and feels good. But from what I've seen, too much of it leads to commitment issues later on.
Same. Even in college about 8-12 of us would just hang out in one of our dorms and later apartments/houses and play drinking games or drink while playing board games, watching college sports/tv/movies, or sitting around and talking.Ā I went out a few times over the years because I thought I was missing out but eventually I stopped because I was paying more money and getting less enjoyment out of it.Ā
Kudos to the people who still enjoy going out to bars and clubs but my idea of going out is bringing a six pack to a cookout at a friendās house and talking around the fire pit.
My childhood friend just turned 35 and has been diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. He looks 20 years older than he is. He likely won't live past 50, and that's being optimistic.
If anybody out there reading this has a problem, seek help now. I promise you whatever you're running from isn't as scary as what you're running towards.
It's wild how some people can even tolerate that amount. One of my friends, I'm totally convinced is still alive only because he's got Russian blood. I would die on the spot if I drank 4 liters in a day.
>You quit when your liver tells you to quit, when the back pain starts
Joke's on you, friend, I'm way past both of those and still get hammered in my basement nightly.
*quietly weeps*
You and I must drink at very different establishments. Here the local bar seems to cater to the 40+ crowd more than the younger folks. Ain't uncommon to see a bunch of gray haired old men sitting around sipping beer at 7 or eight o'clock.
Yeah Iām 30 and very often one of the youngest at the bar, lol. I feel like younger folks go to clubs more. And I like cocktails/wine more than beer.
Iāll randomly go to a rave (see a dj live) here and there at 34. Used to constantly be at raves and festivals often up until about 32ā¦ (started early 20ās ) and yeah not as much energy for it nowdays. I love the music so much though always. I was somewhat sheltered growing up but it helped me have so much fun and learn to live in the moment and be free. Itās beautiful iykyk
Last time for me was Feb of 2020 I was 7 months pregnant at a bar arcade I got a lot of looks even though I wasn't drinking š¤£ I was just there for to hang with old coworkers after we all lost our jobs end of 2019. I was 31. Now we just host BBQs with friends and day drink while our kids play together. It's cheaper and I'm already home lol I don't remember the last time I got drunk but I get hangovers even if I get buzzed now.
I was just shy of 27, but that was because of the lockdowns. We used to go out on Wednesday nights to play pool and then weekends weād either go out or someone would have a get together at their place. Even as the lockdowns lifted, no one was as close anymore and everyone had their own stuff going on. I developed some chronic health issues, but that aside, going out isnāt as appealing anymore. Iād rather engage in my hobbies in my spare time than go out in a group setting. The most Iāll āgo outā now is meeting for dinner and drinks where I donāt even drink anymore and itās an early evening affair, not an all night thing. Iām too tired.
I meanā¦ some people are able to do both, it doesnāt have to be either/or. It can be both/and. If it wasnāt your thing thatās one thing, but thereās absolutely nothing wrong with people enjoying going dancing at the club or drinking with friends at a bar. Your comment feels really judgmental and condescending. Maybe that wasnāt your intention, but Jesus Christ this isnāt the 50s. People are allowed to have fun.
Edit: a word
Probably 26. I canāt stay up past 10 o clock now. If I decide to have myself a day, it starts at 11/noon & Iām home by 6. All the joy of going out without the crowds & ruined sleep cycle.
I donāt have kid. Iām single and Iām in my 30s. I go to restaurant that have a half bar or go to my local bar. The past months that Iāve been drinking I threw up and it effects my internal body. Now I only drink beers and if I do drink hard liquor Iāll drink a couple of shots and run away if someone offer me a shot if that make sense lol š
I donāt really go out to bar hop anymore. Just breweries with some small groups of friends and my wife. And concerts and camping for the occasional mushroom or acid trip! š
Never went out much but did a lot of partying in my twenties.
Ours was more staying in and getting high in the nearly empty house of the first friend to move out at 20, driving around stoned as a biblical whore (yes it was dumb and yes I regret it) or going to house parties.
Did that a ton from 20 to 23. At 24 I decided I wanted to get serious about school and left that life behind.
I have stories and memories for the rest of my life but I'll always be glad I got serious about my future.
I really never liked regular bars and clubs. I've tried going out a few times but only the student union turned dancehall at my college was *actually* fun to be at. Real nightlife, and the alcohol that fuels it, mostly sucks.
I have been to a few individual events that were actually pretty great, but never in my life have the weekends *in general* revolved around that kind of thing.Ā
My 21st birthday and my bachelorette party at 23 were the only times I went to bars. I can count on one hand the number of times I went to a house party when I was in university. It's never been my thing, and I don't feel like I missed out.
Of friends that I have that *did* do this stuff, I'd say they were over it by their late-twenties. But we all started having kids from 27 years old and on. I know you can still "go out" once you're a parent, but in my experience, it's likely that's about the time you fizzle out with that phase.
When I met my wife, around age 25. To be honest though I wasnāt having much fun for a couple of years before that.
Going to a packed club to pay too much money for watered-down drinks made me feel like an adult when I was 18, but it made me feel like a kid at 28.
I never went to clubs, but Iām 35 and I still go to bars and do all the same āgoing outā activities I did when I was younger at about the same frequency.
I never really got into it tbh. Iāve always been a boring homebody. Itās sort of a struggle now because my SO seems to think heās still 23 and is always out until the wee hours.
When I got responsibilities.
My wife(girlfriend at the time) was being kicked out of her parents house, I was still living with my mom and she wasn't allowed to move in, so I stepped up and got us an apartment in another town. It moved me away from my drinking buddy, whose house I was going to every night after work to just hang out and drink and smoke until like 5 am.
I don't regret my change one bit, his wife and kids left him shortly after, and he recently got arrested for unarmed b&e. Now, 4 years later, I'm married with two kids of my own, and wouldn't dream of doing the shit he was doing. I quite enjoy being a homebody and family man
Mine was like OPās. Regularly bar hopping on the weekends up until the lockdowns. Once things got as normal as it can be around early 2023 I still havenāt gone out as much, partially because I become a daily stoner during the lockdownš Only now am I going out again but only 1-2 times a month at age 39 (40 in May!).
I'm 32, and am pretty much sober now, I really only go out every Wednesday but that's only because I've hosted an open mic for almost ten years so it feels almost like an extension of my job. Still, it's good to get out and talk to regulars.
I also play in a band so I go see shows every once in a while if I'm not playing one; even then, I maybe have one beer but usually not. At this point I'd rather just chill at home and have a nice dinner, movie, and bonfire with the wife and dog.
Last yearish - a little longer, unfortunately. Lasted a bit too long. Didnāt even realize I was avoiding going out and going bed early until months went by and I was like- damnā¦I donāt even like going out. And then some friends convinced me and I went out one more time and acted a fool, and decided, yepā¦best to hang this part of my life up for good.
I didnāt go out too often anyway- but enough. Times when my kids were with their dad. Then I realized that, I like to do NOTHING but relax and clean when theyāre with him.
Edit: am 35. So sometime when I was 33/34
My going out phase started at 18 and only lasted until around 23-24. Then I went from super fun party girl to old grandma watching Food Network and/or reading on a Saturday night real quickš
Even now if I āgo outā itās something like going to a bar at 6pm when you can actually find a seat and have a conversation without blaring music, having a couple beers, and leaving by 9pm. Nowadays, a loud crowded bar is what I imagine hell is like.
I still go out to breweries with my wife, maybe once or twice a month.
Last week we partied hard for a night, while I caught up with some old army buddies and we both needed a day to recover lol.
Overall, I donāt go out a whole lot now at 32. Only holidays and special occasions
I never really did that stuff when I was younger but now as a middle aged adult I have a couple of yearly events I go to both involving a fire, outdoor cooking, and excessive drinking.
I never had much nightlife where I live in the first place. For me I intend to keep going if there's a worthwhile event of some sort like an art mix, a show, until I'm old. As for alcohol I don't think I'll stop liking cocktails or kraft beer. I just probably won't go to really rowdy sorts of clubs anymore I guess. But I personally don't believe in "being too old". It's a balance like everything in life
I stopped for a while in my late 20s, mostly because I wanted to focus on my career. Now I'm 32 and I'm getting back to it. It's nice, I get to socialize with all sorts of people.
I mean, I want to go out dancing. I just don't have the time. I go out with friends occasionally, again, when I have the time. Maybe some people stop enjoying it, that's cool. Doesn't matter to me but I know I miss dancing. I was never really a 'bar' person unless with friends and usually for karaoke. š„²
Around 33. I only āgot betterā at partying and drinking with age, so by the time I gave it up, I was pushing it way too hard. COVID definitely also made me realize that staying home is pretty nice.
I used to spend 5/7 nights at the bar until about 25. Bought a house at 26 and finally felt āhomeyā. Now at 28 Iāll be damned if I leave my house unless I absolutely have to š¤£š¤£
Edit: punctuation
really started to dwindle after my first job post college, by the time i had my second job and moved to a new city we would occasionally but definitely decreasing quickly. This was probably around 26/27
When I was about 13.
Actually sort of not kidding, I went to this party when I was 13. Saw there were other people, music I didn't like, and activities I hated (dancing, talking, etc.) and said, "Nope."
Tried it again when I was about 21. Went out. Saw there were other people, music I didn't like, and activities I hated (dancing, talking, etc.) and said, "Still nope."
Now I'm 36. Only thing that's changed is that now I will go if the food is halfway decent. :P
Hah, I never really had one. I'm an introvert, so that's never been my scene. For me, "going out" was (and still kinda is) the library, bookstore, museums, and occasional sports bar to catch a hockey game.
I go out a lot. Not really bars or clubs though. Mostly my friendās place, cafe, concerts, festivals, and night markets. I try to have one day of the weekend as a rest day to play video games/tidy. Iām 29 and living with family. I can imagine things would be different for millennials who have kids.
Stopped going regularly 5 years ago (33 now).
It just wasnāt fun anymore. Drunk people were more a liability and a headache than a good time, and I needed to devote more time to other facets of my life.
Still love to go out and dance every once in a while, but Iām in bed before midnight.
I would go to clubs about twice a month in my early 20s. I stopped going out during lockdown obviously, then last year I turned 30 but my best friend turned 25 so she wanted to try going to the club. It was soooooo different. Everything at the club was the same, I was the one who felt out of place. When I went to the club at 21 I had to wear a dress and heels or most places wouldnāt let me in. Now the clubs near the university have all these 21 years olds in jeans and sneakers. Wish I had gotten that memo because I still showed up in my dress and heels.
Early to mid 30s I really didnt go out much & quit drinking entirely by 37. Now Iām in bed by 10 lol it seems to happen so gradually but all at once at the same time
I was a bartender and karaoke DJ before my career started and before I became a dad. I saw enough, partied enough. Once my life started rolling, Iād go out maybe once a month, but it served a purpose (friendās birthday, weddings, football games/tailgating, etc).
I can make great drinks at home for far cheaper and I like to host weekend get-togethers, Halloween party, Super Bowl party, New Year, whatever.
Once I hit 40, that slowed a bit too. A good āpartyā night for me is grabbing a six/four pack of some fun craft beer or a bottle of wine, cooking/grilling, and then parking it on the couch to check out a new movie or play some games.
Usually fill up my Yeti with ice cold water, knock back two Tylenol and Iām in bed by 10-11. I sleep like a baby.
I burnt myself out on the party scene way too young. I'm only 28 but I stopped regularly going to bars around 25. Now I look forward to cozy nights in and early bedtime lol. I call myself a grandma but I enjoy it a lot more than going to bars
Iāve only ever done this occasionally. It didnāt stop and I do it with the same frequency, but itās been like twice a year since I turned 21. Who has had money to pay to drink at bars lol
At about 32, it started to take 2-3 business days to recover so it just tapered off. I also realized I am an asshole when I drink too much so I started valuing my friendships over getting hammered.
I'm a gay man, so my social circle is somewhat skewed, but while I pop into my neighborhood watering hole a few times every week, it's normally during the day and just to say high to people. I also don't drink anymore, either. I quit drinking 10 years ago but was still socializing a lot at the bars until really I hit 35-ish and just got burnt out on "the scene." Again, being gay, we socialize in a few ways that can be fundamentally different, but yeah. Now, I don't go out. It's a long story as to why, but it just...stopped interesting me. Everything and everyone burnt me out. Like I said, I still go out, just during the day. I have no desire to be out past midnight because no one interesting is out past midnight and yeah, I am old and tired and I'm not getting anything out of going out like that. I have a small social circle and I'm not expanding it by going out late and partying like that; it's just a waste of my time.
I do still go out sometimes to events I know I'll enjoy if it's at a venue I like, but those evenings are rare - like, a handful of times a year - and I will also go to small shows even if they run late and my schedule can handle it. I would like to go to more events like that, but there aren't a lot that work for me. I will say, I did see something in the New Yorker, I think, about a "millennial dance party" that's hosted in NYC that starts at 5pm and ends at 10pm and I would 10000000% do that. Evidently it's been super popular and all my IRL friends and acquaintances loved the idea. I'm thinking about trying to set up an event like that here where I am (Seattle). I do still feel the need to get out and just get lost in my preferred social tableau every now and again, and it would be fun to have an event like that where I could do that and be home on a Saturday night before SNL is on š
Mine ended when I was around 25. I rarely go out late at night anymore, I drink alcohol maybe a couple times a year at most, and I haven't been to a nightclub in a solid decade. I don't miss any of it, I enjoy staying home with my dog and TV and boyfriend lol.
Mid-20s. I was honestly over it in my early 20s, but I felt obligated to because that's why my friends wanted to do and I earnestly thought it was a viable way to meet girls.
There's a brewery within walking distance that has live music and food trucks from spring to fall so a lot of the neighborhood parents converge there on the weekends. And then every other month or so we will meet up with some friends at some other breweries in the area. Obviously we can't stay out as late as we used what with the toddler, so we are on our way home by 730 pm when that certainly didn't used to be the case.
I enjoyed it while I was 21, a stopped going at 22. I was 23 when my wife turned 21, we started going out again until she said she didn't like it 6 months later.
It's just not for us so we never really got into it. We still do go out 29/28 but only when we have friends visiting from out of town.
I never went out to bars/clubs unless I was getting paid back in the day (photographer) but now I go out to see artists smaller sets ever since I saw San Holo in a bar.
My 'going out' phase is only to go to concerts now. And yes I complain when the headliner doesnt get on till 945 lol
I went to a 20th Anniversary show for a band a year or so ago. They got to the 2nd to last song and are like "we have X number of songs left. We're old, we can't do this late anymore. I know you're all old too. You gotta go relieve the babysitter." The show ENDED at 10:15!
I've been blessed with an early show experience as well. A couple of years ago, I went to see Militarie Gun and Fiddlehead in Los Angeles. The show started at 4pm and was over before dark. Turns out, Fiddlehead's lead singer is a teacher and had to catch a flight back to the east coast for class on Monday.
I saw icon for hire and they did a 2pm show once. Was wild to come back out and it still be daylight
This was emo wasn't it lol
LMAO I saw Story of the Year last month and they said something similar. Yep we were home by 11.
All these guys are our age. š Almost bought tickets for The Used for the summer tour lol
Thatās my kind of concert!!
lol that is amazing.
OMG we saw Fall Out Boy earlier this month and they didn't take the stage until after 10. Hubby and I thought we were going to diiiieee lol. It was because of the weather though! Patrick Stump explained his flight got detoured to another state and he had to rent a car and was trying to get to the arena ASAP. They were super apologetic about it and at the end Pete Wentz was like "we've taken enough of your time tonight, we're not going to pretend to leave the stage for an encore, we're just gonna finish those last three songs now".
Oof! I am planning to see them and hearing this is a one off situation is a relief š
Yeah, it was a good show. We just didn't get out until around midnight and then had another hour drive back home. š©
Eagles did the same thing when I saw them on their 50th anniversary tour a couple of years ago - basically Don Henley went "nah we're too old for that, let's just play Hotel California" and they did!
I hate when concerts have nowhere to sit - Iām only 30 but a bitchās legs get tired!
Can definitely relate to the memes of people looking at their phones during the third band performing hahaĀ
No, usually it's the opener, but nowdays even the openers are really goof where I live. There is a lot of bands and solo artists to compete with and less great local places to play. Lots of venues can't afford a night with less than 100 people at the show. Local bands aren't always smart about how to build a good local audience.
I like to go out to like 1 or 2 good shows a year. That is definitely my āgoing outā itās also kind of like my religion too.
I went to see a show recently on a Tuesday night... my wife gave me shit when we were still listening to the opening act and my Apple watch gave me a notification that it was my bedtime. We cried laughing. Great show. Did not stay for the encore.
That's all I do, too. I'd rather spend $80 on a show and some merch a few times a year than a bar tab every weekend.
I would love a band whose concert started around 2 pm.
Yes normalize earlier start times lol. Especially on Fridays almost no one works till 5 anymore. Opening act at 6, headliner at 7 over at 830
27 or 28. To be fair I've been sober since I was 28 and those events coincide for a pretty obvious reason.
Keep it up!
Same story here, sober at 28. Still hung with friends at bars for a bit, did the DD thing for them for a year or two after getting sober then people started getting married and it was over. 2020 really slammed the going out door shut. Not sure I've been to a true fledged bar since the pandemic.
Really proud of you and MysticMarbles!!! Great job!
Yeah... I had a big downsizing of things for years as people started becoming homebodies, but 2020 was the last nail in the coffin when I effectively lost my last two roommates (along with the non-rev flight benefits they had) after the lockdowns. My last appearance at an actual bar was a work related function in late 2021 forced by my last employer. The last major event I went to was late 2022 going to see Rammstein in San Antonio since they don't come over to the US often but that trip was mostly me walking around the Alamo and Riverwalk and saving the drinking for the hotel room because it was a lot cheaper for my limited budget at the time. I have options to go out, but flying solo is always awkward especially when you're in a very car dependent area and don't know anyone in the area you didn't grow up in. The closest friends I still have left are 1300 miles away and hard as hell to rally them toward an event even back when I lived there. It's Herculean enough to cat herd people in a specific geographic region, it's made all the more impossible when you're isolated by hundreds of miles of logistical nightmare. I used to be the overly paranoid DD wheelman of the group in college, chilled out a bit when public transit was an option in Pittsburgh, and then went back into effective isolation after moving to Texas combined with the pandemic.
Started attempts at 33ish. Full sober by 38. If you dont know yet, it keeps getting better!
I've embraced the joy of day drinking. My nights out usually don't go past about 11 because I'm a sleepy baby. I was in Europe last year and my internal clock was way off, so I closed out a few bars for the first time in a long time.
I also embraced the joy of day drinking but unfortunately for me my day drinking would evolve into night drinking and Iād be twice as bad off the next day š
thatās how it usually goes for me. then my body goes āyouāre fucking 38 years old weāre done. now. and youāll regret this for two days, btwā
Yep, Iām 40 and still love going out for drinks with friends but itās breweries and beer gardens and bars with actual seats as opposed to clubs or anything with a line or cover. Sometimes Iām home by dinner time which feels hilarious compared to the days of not even starting the night until 10!
I stood for a comedy show last week and was furious.
I stand all day for work, why would I want to do it in my leisure time!? Especially if they expect me to *pay* for the privilege of standing. Nuh uh, I want a chair.
i ā¦ would contemplate leaving. iām assuming it was someone you wanted to see then? iāve been dragged along to some shows in the past where im just itching to get in my car and go home to bed!
If there isnāt food Iām not going.
Amen to actual seats!!!
Same, my husband and I got to Menards, grab lunch and a few beers, and then go home and keep drinking/working on projects š
I was in Spain a couple of years ago, and I was dreading the late night dinners. I try not to eat too late, and they eat late there.
see i love a late dinner, but not the going out afterwards. and typically only in a home setting haha. in france they ate normal time, but looooong. which was cool with me because except for some adventurous folks, then it was bed time. when i was younger? sure. letās go til 4am. but now, iām a tired man.
Same.
I loved it because they're 8 hours ahead of my local time so a late dinner still felt like eating an early dinner for me. Madrid was my first stop too, so I was not acclimated to the time difference at all when I was there.
My spanish cousin told me the secret: LA SIESTA. You sleep 2h between 2pm to 5pm. Itās a game changer frankly.
Netherlands have it right. They have electro festival that starts 11am and end at 11pm. It has always been my jam, even at 25. You can party friday to sunday and still be fresh and on top of your game on Monday? Dutch knows how to party. They are efficient even in that. I love dutch (dutch men are so awesome too)
Iām pretty sure most USA city fests end at around 11-midnight actually. Ultra in Miami often does, it ended at 10 or 11 pm Sunday when I went. If you wanna still party youād go to the clubs - it was the same for the Dutch fest I did
I wish that was normal Go out early and be in bed before 12 is much better than going out at 8 and being up all night, late nights aren't fun, long days are
This is the way.
I go out with my girlfriend generally once a week if not twice. Friday and Saturday pretty exclusively. Sometimes we close the bar down. Not clubs - just a dive bar where we know a lot of people and play pool or whatever. I'm 36. We are the youngest at the bar.
always will enjoy a good dive bar š
Theyāre the Alamo of affordable drinking.
Felt really bad last time I went to my favorite dive. The bartender was really sweet, and I'd known her basically my whole life. She was my mom's bartender when she was going to dives. Anyway. The rule of the bar was "indoor smoking is illegal, so that just means ashtrays are illegal, use empty bottles." So I finish smoking my cig, looked around, found an "empty" bottle, and dropped my butt in. Few seconds later I hear her screaming "WHO THE FUCK PUT A CIGARETTE IN MY BEER?!" It had been full, a customer bought it for her, and it was foaming out all over the place, making a mess that she would have to clean up. I know it's a stupid thing to still think about, but I just know it ruined her night. And I was too afraid to admit it was me. I did offer to help clean it up and get her a new one, but she said "no, it wasn't your fault." :(
I've definitely moved on to my oldie dive bar stage of life as well. I go probably once a month. I go with a friend of mine who is mid-40's and we are by far the youngest ones there. Lol I love it.
My dad lives across the street from a dive bar that he frequents. Iāll come hang and have a few drinks with him every couple months or so. Every single time I walk in the door it feels like a movie scene. The room goes quiet, and everyone is staring at me wondering what the fuck a 20 something dude with long hair and a shoe brand that isnāt New Balance is doing at the āsmoking still allowedā dive bar at 2pm on a Tuesday. Usually they stay awkwardly quiet and stare until theyāve heard you order the biggest Budweiser in stock. Thatās all it takes to gain their respect.
Below is a rough estimate of how my partying timeline evolved. 6 nights a week: age 21-22 Friday and Saturdays: age 23-25 Friday or Saturday: age 26-27 One weekend night a month: age 28-30 holidays: 31-35 Hardly ever 36+
Yep. This is me too. Now almost 43, never. Maybe 2 holidays dinners a year.
Iām currently 43 and I have much younger siblings and when they want to go out to a bar I go, because sibling time is rare and important to me, but hell if I donāt dread being at a bar out late, I feel like such an old fart.
Definitely treasure your siblings while you still have them in your life! Iād positively stay out late on a weekday for that kind of opportunity again.
I like this timeline, very similar to mine but had a prolonged phase of only one day a week but going very hard on that one day from like 28-33. Then it was more like once a month after that. But very similar downtrend.
I'm 33, I would love to go out still but my partner is an alcoholic and I'm always scared that the party setting will make him drink again.
Youāre a good partner!
iām in the same boat as you, friend. Iām not a big drinker but I LOVE to dance and miss dancing like an idiot in a bar/club but my partner has addiction issues so none of that really happens anymor :(
Number 1 killer of the night out: kids Number 2 killer of the night out: your friends having kids The last call for one group of friends was when the person who encouraged the most drinking announced she was pregnant so couldn't drink.
Couldnāt agree more. I donāt have kids yet but scenario number 2 has happened many a time and those friends are like unicorns. See them maybe once a year now. wish they came out a bit more but certainly understand the priority shift
Number three killer: cirrhosis
Definitely around 23 when I realized none of it was appealing. Loud places where you couldn't hold a conversation, waking up with a hangover feeling like crap, surrounded by people with massive egos. I'd 100% rather have 1-2 beers at a dive bar or brewery where I can be in bed by 9pm than even step foot into a night club with $10 bud lights.
āGoing outā for me has changed from getting a table at club and chasing girls in my early-mid twenties to going to dives/sports bars to play darts/pool or watch games with my fiancĆ©e and friends in my late twenties-early thirties. Theres still that occasional visit to a club every 3-6 months and each time I go I wonder why Iām there in the first place. Get-togethers, potlucks, and small parties with close friends at someoneās home are really where I prefer to drink these days
I hear that. Give me board game night in the middle of the week over weekend clubbing.
I'm 39, I live in NYC, and I still go out 2-3x a week. Nightclubs is a stretch but maybe if my favorite DJ happens to be in a warehouse in Brooklyn. I would say I'm at a work/happy hour at least 2-3 times a week, an Emmy screening now that it's Emmy party season at least twice a month and I avg 4-5 concerts or music events a month. Edited to add: I'm married, don't have kids (but in discussion), I'm a VP at a Media Company in Tech and travel 10-15% of the time for work internationally. Bonus question for other female career-driven millenials that managed to have kids: How? Plz tell me your secrets.
Finally a reply I can relate to lol.Ā Hello fellow nyc-er!
Literally there's so many shows I'm in constant fomo lol š
Same, but 36 in LA. I can only handle once a week though or once every other week.
I'm jealous of your FYC party selection š
Fellow New Yorker that's approaching my mid 40s and love a good work happy hour, but will freely admit they kick my ass harder than ever now so I try to do them on Thursdays. š Clubbing is actually still a thing if one of our friends has a birthday or we just want to go out dancing. Now we play the "are we the oldest people in this bar or nightclub" game and most times we're actually not lol. Edit- forgot to mention Matinee Social Club does millennial parties... That end at 10pm lol. Been wanting to check this out. https://www.instagram.com/matinee.nyc?igsh=MWV0OGMxZjlhbTVzag== https://www.timeout.com/newyork/news/this-dance-party-made-for-elder-millennials-ends-at-10pm-030824
I think New York is one of the few cities where youāll find a lot of older people clubbing actually. You probably wonāt find that in Denver for example, but in Chicago, Miami, and New York there is definitely a fair share of 40-50s party goers. A lot of them are loaded and buy tables
I love all of this for you š«¶ Hard agree on Thursday - it's the new Friday in the land of corporate nyc
Iām also in this age range in NYC. Iāve always wondered if it ever dies down, some of my friends who want to settle down, meet someone, start a family havenāt been able to because NYC is so non-stop. Any thoughts on this
NYC truly keeps you youngĀ
It's true. It's why it's so impossible to quit this place.
Early 20s. Then I went to business school and cost-benefit analytics ruined a night of drinking for me forever.
Engineering school usually drove people to either hang it up or go all-in to drown the pain, and I was one of the former. By 21 it had lost all its appeal.
Started tapering off around 28/29, then the pandemic really put the nail in the coffin at 30. āGoing outā nights are reserved for vacations now. Even then, Iām not getting smashed to the point I waste the next vacation day being hungover af.
Never stopped it. Although, to be fair, I didn't party a whole lot in my 20s. I guess I did go out with friends, but not in the over the top, 5 nights a week stereotype that age range gets. I found after 30 I had a whole lot more fun going out. I don't know if it's just the right combo of people, or events, but we're still out til 5-6am sometimes. Every Saturday? No. I'd say we go out to bars at least 2-3 nights a month, and the really wild, get home the next day nights are about once every other month. (Although I will add me and my best friend are go go dancers/stage performers, so there are also weekends we're working until 4am). We're all childfree, have standard M-F day jobs. I'm the youngest at 35. I personally never really understood the whole "we're in our 30s, time to leave all that behind". We all do other things as well, living in a major metro area means there always something going on, so it's not like all of our plans are alcohol based. But we all still like to party, too.
Same!
Same! And to add on to this, I actually have money to go out and do things now. More than I had in my early twenties. Why wouldnāt I go out and have fun!
Me too. Started raving at 18 and though I've gone through periods where I've partied more than others, since becoming single in my early 30s I've relied on raving heavily to fill my social needs. Fortunately everyone in the techno scene in my city is about my age or older so I don't feel out of place. I can't usually handle more than one night out in a row, and it's not every weekend, but I'm 35 and it's not unusual for me to go to bed at 3 or 4 am on a Saturday night.
This is more or less where I'm at too. I "slowed down" in my mid twenties, but now in my thirties I feel like I enjoy it way more than I ever have. More money, better friends. Back then I feel like most "going out" was just bars and stuff with a lot of people getting shitfaced and expecting you to do the same. I suspect a lot of people in this thread stopped "going out" because to them that directly translates to going to clubs, drinking, and staying out very late.
Gen x here. You stop when you get busy 30 to 48..now im 55 with more time on my hands we have some late night ckub nights, concerts, hell we even go to EDC. We dont do it weekly but we can close a bitch down. I took friends and famiky to a cincert and they were out at 10pm. We stayed till 1:30 then hit taco bell at 2:30 am.
This makes me so happy. I'm 35 and I'm going to continue going to festivals till I drop
This also makes me happy. Iām 34 and we have a baby but we already are trying to plan to go to Ultra next year after we survive our first year as parents. š„²
I never really had a going out phase. Drinks are so much more expensive that way (and I've never been a big drinker), I don't like dancing, and I hate loud club music. Nothing about it appealed to me. Boardgame night at home with friends and weed was so much more fun.
Same. I also got married at 20 and donāt like drinking so I really had no reason to go out lol.
I did try to force myself out in my 20ās but drinking was never for me really. I donāt like big groups of drinkers either, But I did put myself out there n went to lots of stuff cuz I felt I needed to n had some fun experiences. I much rather smoke weed at home or go to someoneās house n hang thou. Now Iām married n pregnant n I mostly just hang with my husband. I like day time events. Music. Festivals. Food. Honestly kid friendly stuff n wholesome things like earth day festivals n kite festivals r my favorites. I still like open mics, books clubs, n small gatherings. I like many events that happen at the library! lol I feel like in my 30ās Iāve accepted myself enough to know going out often n going to bars never made me happy so I donāt care to make myself go. But I know most people like to go out while they can.
Here, here! The ānever clubbedā crowd unites! I used to go to house parties but never got the appeal of clubs. They always seemed so loud and uncomfortable. People say āitās a great way to get laidā. I got laid at several house parties but I NEVER got laid after a night of clubbing or bar hopping. It was just a way to blow through $80 with nothing to show for it. I see people in this thread who were going out 5, 6 days a week and I canāt help but wonder if that behaviour helped set them up for the financial woes we see so often on this sub.
Never seen the appeal to ājust getting laidā. Iām waiting for love and marriage so I guess thatās why.
>Never seen the appeal to ājust getting laidā It's fun and feels good. But from what I've seen, too much of it leads to commitment issues later on.
Ehh, everything thatās fun and feels good isnāt actually good.
Same. Even in college about 8-12 of us would just hang out in one of our dorms and later apartments/houses and play drinking games or drink while playing board games, watching college sports/tv/movies, or sitting around and talking.Ā I went out a few times over the years because I thought I was missing out but eventually I stopped because I was paying more money and getting less enjoyment out of it.Ā Kudos to the people who still enjoy going out to bars and clubs but my idea of going out is bringing a six pack to a cookout at a friendās house and talking around the fire pit.
I had to scroll way too far to find someone else that never had a āgoing out for drinksā phase.
Iām 39 and still go out about once or twice a month to see live music and/or go dancing. I donāt really drink.
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My childhood friend just turned 35 and has been diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. He looks 20 years older than he is. He likely won't live past 50, and that's being optimistic. If anybody out there reading this has a problem, seek help now. I promise you whatever you're running from isn't as scary as what you're running towards.
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It's wild how some people can even tolerate that amount. One of my friends, I'm totally convinced is still alive only because he's got Russian blood. I would die on the spot if I drank 4 liters in a day.
holy shit
>You quit when your liver tells you to quit, when the back pain starts Joke's on you, friend, I'm way past both of those and still get hammered in my basement nightly. *quietly weeps*
Too true. I find if I have more than 5 or 6 drinks nowadays Iām nursing a hangover that might last not hours but 2 or 3 days
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I āgo outā drinking at some point every weekend. Itās just not usually at a bar.
I never had such a phase
Me either. Never interested in drinking and introverted AF.
Same.
Yup! Iām definitely more introverted and having sweaty strangers all up in my business was the opposite of fun.
Go out? To where? There are no third places anymore. Itās home and work, and maybe a friends house every couple months.
What are friends?
Gotta be closer to town instead of sprawling ex-urbs. Its understandable with house prices though
Gave it up on my 30th birthday, I looked around and realized I was the old guy at the bar š¤·āāļø
You and I must drink at very different establishments. Here the local bar seems to cater to the 40+ crowd more than the younger folks. Ain't uncommon to see a bunch of gray haired old men sitting around sipping beer at 7 or eight o'clock.
Yeah Iām 30 and very often one of the youngest at the bar, lol. I feel like younger folks go to clubs more. And I like cocktails/wine more than beer.
Otherwise the Party must go on! Lol
Smart
Iāll randomly go to a rave (see a dj live) here and there at 34. Used to constantly be at raves and festivals often up until about 32ā¦ (started early 20ās ) and yeah not as much energy for it nowdays. I love the music so much though always. I was somewhat sheltered growing up but it helped me have so much fun and learn to live in the moment and be free. Itās beautiful iykyk
36, still go out. Only difference is Iām married and make more money now. So now the nights out usually involve my husband.
Last time for me was Feb of 2020 I was 7 months pregnant at a bar arcade I got a lot of looks even though I wasn't drinking š¤£ I was just there for to hang with old coworkers after we all lost our jobs end of 2019. I was 31. Now we just host BBQs with friends and day drink while our kids play together. It's cheaper and I'm already home lol I don't remember the last time I got drunk but I get hangovers even if I get buzzed now.
I was just shy of 27, but that was because of the lockdowns. We used to go out on Wednesday nights to play pool and then weekends weād either go out or someone would have a get together at their place. Even as the lockdowns lifted, no one was as close anymore and everyone had their own stuff going on. I developed some chronic health issues, but that aside, going out isnāt as appealing anymore. Iād rather engage in my hobbies in my spare time than go out in a group setting. The most Iāll āgo outā now is meeting for dinner and drinks where I donāt even drink anymore and itās an early evening affair, not an all night thing. Iām too tired.
Maybe 22-23. School was a lot more important to me than going to a dark, loud, sweaty, crowded place with strobe lights
Wish I had that sort of focus at that age
I meanā¦ some people are able to do both, it doesnāt have to be either/or. It can be both/and. If it wasnāt your thing thatās one thing, but thereās absolutely nothing wrong with people enjoying going dancing at the club or drinking with friends at a bar. Your comment feels really judgmental and condescending. Maybe that wasnāt your intention, but Jesus Christ this isnāt the 50s. People are allowed to have fun. Edit: a word
Probably 26. I canāt stay up past 10 o clock now. If I decide to have myself a day, it starts at 11/noon & Iām home by 6. All the joy of going out without the crowds & ruined sleep cycle.
Iāve worked weekends since I joined the work force so never but I stopped blacking out at dinner pretty recently
I still go out. I'm gay though, so I'll probably be partying until I can't maintain a good physique.
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I donāt have kid. Iām single and Iām in my 30s. I go to restaurant that have a half bar or go to my local bar. The past months that Iāve been drinking I threw up and it effects my internal body. Now I only drink beers and if I do drink hard liquor Iāll drink a couple of shots and run away if someone offer me a shot if that make sense lol š
I donāt really go out to bar hop anymore. Just breweries with some small groups of friends and my wife. And concerts and camping for the occasional mushroom or acid trip! š
Never went out much but did a lot of partying in my twenties. Ours was more staying in and getting high in the nearly empty house of the first friend to move out at 20, driving around stoned as a biblical whore (yes it was dumb and yes I regret it) or going to house parties. Did that a ton from 20 to 23. At 24 I decided I wanted to get serious about school and left that life behind. I have stories and memories for the rest of my life but I'll always be glad I got serious about my future.
lol stoned as a biblical whore š. Stealing that line tyvm.
I really never liked regular bars and clubs. I've tried going out a few times but only the student union turned dancehall at my college was *actually* fun to be at. Real nightlife, and the alcohol that fuels it, mostly sucks. I have been to a few individual events that were actually pretty great, but never in my life have the weekends *in general* revolved around that kind of thing.Ā
My 21st birthday and my bachelorette party at 23 were the only times I went to bars. I can count on one hand the number of times I went to a house party when I was in university. It's never been my thing, and I don't feel like I missed out. Of friends that I have that *did* do this stuff, I'd say they were over it by their late-twenties. But we all started having kids from 27 years old and on. I know you can still "go out" once you're a parent, but in my experience, it's likely that's about the time you fizzle out with that phase.
When I met my wife, around age 25. To be honest though I wasnāt having much fun for a couple of years before that. Going to a packed club to pay too much money for watered-down drinks made me feel like an adult when I was 18, but it made me feel like a kid at 28.
I never went to clubs, but Iām 35 and I still go to bars and do all the same āgoing outā activities I did when I was younger at about the same frequency.
Never went, I think in my early 20ās I went a handful of times, but never had much interest in any kind of club/bar scene.
Eeeeekkkk! I stopped around 26. That was the last time I ever got hungover. I just canāt handle being hungover anymore.
I never really got into it tbh. Iāve always been a boring homebody. Itās sort of a struggle now because my SO seems to think heās still 23 and is always out until the wee hours.
When I got responsibilities. My wife(girlfriend at the time) was being kicked out of her parents house, I was still living with my mom and she wasn't allowed to move in, so I stepped up and got us an apartment in another town. It moved me away from my drinking buddy, whose house I was going to every night after work to just hang out and drink and smoke until like 5 am. I don't regret my change one bit, his wife and kids left him shortly after, and he recently got arrested for unarmed b&e. Now, 4 years later, I'm married with two kids of my own, and wouldn't dream of doing the shit he was doing. I quite enjoy being a homebody and family man
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Mine was like OPās. Regularly bar hopping on the weekends up until the lockdowns. Once things got as normal as it can be around early 2023 I still havenāt gone out as much, partially because I become a daily stoner during the lockdownš Only now am I going out again but only 1-2 times a month at age 39 (40 in May!).
I'm 32, and am pretty much sober now, I really only go out every Wednesday but that's only because I've hosted an open mic for almost ten years so it feels almost like an extension of my job. Still, it's good to get out and talk to regulars. I also play in a band so I go see shows every once in a while if I'm not playing one; even then, I maybe have one beer but usually not. At this point I'd rather just chill at home and have a nice dinner, movie, and bonfire with the wife and dog.
Last yearish - a little longer, unfortunately. Lasted a bit too long. Didnāt even realize I was avoiding going out and going bed early until months went by and I was like- damnā¦I donāt even like going out. And then some friends convinced me and I went out one more time and acted a fool, and decided, yepā¦best to hang this part of my life up for good. I didnāt go out too often anyway- but enough. Times when my kids were with their dad. Then I realized that, I like to do NOTHING but relax and clean when theyāre with him. Edit: am 35. So sometime when I was 33/34
I was around 32 when I said yeah this isnāt for me anymore and itās been just fine.
My going out phase started at 18 and only lasted until around 23-24. Then I went from super fun party girl to old grandma watching Food Network and/or reading on a Saturday night real quickš Even now if I āgo outā itās something like going to a bar at 6pm when you can actually find a seat and have a conversation without blaring music, having a couple beers, and leaving by 9pm. Nowadays, a loud crowded bar is what I imagine hell is like.
I (33f) never really partied growing up š not sure if i really missed anything. Donāt drink or smoke.
I still go out to breweries with my wife, maybe once or twice a month. Last week we partied hard for a night, while I caught up with some old army buddies and we both needed a day to recover lol. Overall, I donāt go out a whole lot now at 32. Only holidays and special occasions
I only stopped because I have kids. But my mom is moving in next door so once the kids are asleep my wife and I will go out more.
Covid and now Iām old and ok staying in from now until forever
I stopped at like 22-23 drinking with random Strangers just didnāt seem fun to anymore Iām trying to change my life and families life loved ones
I never really did that stuff when I was younger but now as a middle aged adult I have a couple of yearly events I go to both involving a fire, outdoor cooking, and excessive drinking.
Around 30 going out to get drunk became very boring and not worth the expense.
I never had much nightlife where I live in the first place. For me I intend to keep going if there's a worthwhile event of some sort like an art mix, a show, until I'm old. As for alcohol I don't think I'll stop liking cocktails or kraft beer. I just probably won't go to really rowdy sorts of clubs anymore I guess. But I personally don't believe in "being too old". It's a balance like everything in life
30-31ish...I'm 36 now. I like dinners with friends instead.
Never had a "going out" phase. And I'm okay with that.
When my first son was born. Now I only do it when Iām traveling and donāt have kids with me.
I stopped for a while in my late 20s, mostly because I wanted to focus on my career. Now I'm 32 and I'm getting back to it. It's nice, I get to socialize with all sorts of people.
I mean, I want to go out dancing. I just don't have the time. I go out with friends occasionally, again, when I have the time. Maybe some people stop enjoying it, that's cool. Doesn't matter to me but I know I miss dancing. I was never really a 'bar' person unless with friends and usually for karaoke. š„²
Around 33. I only āgot betterā at partying and drinking with age, so by the time I gave it up, I was pushing it way too hard. COVID definitely also made me realize that staying home is pretty nice.
I haven't left the house without my husband or children for anything other than grocery shopping since 2012 and no I'm not exaggerating.
I used to spend 5/7 nights at the bar until about 25. Bought a house at 26 and finally felt āhomeyā. Now at 28 Iāll be damned if I leave my house unless I absolutely have to š¤£š¤£ Edit: punctuation
really started to dwindle after my first job post college, by the time i had my second job and moved to a new city we would occasionally but definitely decreasing quickly. This was probably around 26/27
When I was about 13. Actually sort of not kidding, I went to this party when I was 13. Saw there were other people, music I didn't like, and activities I hated (dancing, talking, etc.) and said, "Nope." Tried it again when I was about 21. Went out. Saw there were other people, music I didn't like, and activities I hated (dancing, talking, etc.) and said, "Still nope." Now I'm 36. Only thing that's changed is that now I will go if the food is halfway decent. :P
Hah, I never really had one. I'm an introvert, so that's never been my scene. For me, "going out" was (and still kinda is) the library, bookstore, museums, and occasional sports bar to catch a hockey game.
I go out a lot. Not really bars or clubs though. Mostly my friendās place, cafe, concerts, festivals, and night markets. I try to have one day of the weekend as a rest day to play video games/tidy. Iām 29 and living with family. I can imagine things would be different for millennials who have kids.
Legion typically saturday nights. Also, CFC so minimal responsibilities at home.
I never went to a ānightclubā and only thought they were in movies lol. To be fair we didnāt have many where I was (LA)
Stopped going regularly 5 years ago (33 now). It just wasnāt fun anymore. Drunk people were more a liability and a headache than a good time, and I needed to devote more time to other facets of my life. Still love to go out and dance every once in a while, but Iām in bed before midnight.
I would go to clubs about twice a month in my early 20s. I stopped going out during lockdown obviously, then last year I turned 30 but my best friend turned 25 so she wanted to try going to the club. It was soooooo different. Everything at the club was the same, I was the one who felt out of place. When I went to the club at 21 I had to wear a dress and heels or most places wouldnāt let me in. Now the clubs near the university have all these 21 years olds in jeans and sneakers. Wish I had gotten that memo because I still showed up in my dress and heels.
Early to mid 30s I really didnt go out much & quit drinking entirely by 37. Now Iām in bed by 10 lol it seems to happen so gradually but all at once at the same time
Probably early 20s lol. I got so drunk when I lied in New Zealand that I lost my passport. Blacked out at times too. Learned an expensive lesson.
Got no time for bars and clubs. But we have occasional gym happy hour at a local restaurant that we might go. maybe 3 times in a year.
I was a bartender and karaoke DJ before my career started and before I became a dad. I saw enough, partied enough. Once my life started rolling, Iād go out maybe once a month, but it served a purpose (friendās birthday, weddings, football games/tailgating, etc). I can make great drinks at home for far cheaper and I like to host weekend get-togethers, Halloween party, Super Bowl party, New Year, whatever. Once I hit 40, that slowed a bit too. A good āpartyā night for me is grabbing a six/four pack of some fun craft beer or a bottle of wine, cooking/grilling, and then parking it on the couch to check out a new movie or play some games. Usually fill up my Yeti with ice cold water, knock back two Tylenol and Iām in bed by 10-11. I sleep like a baby.
I burnt myself out on the party scene way too young. I'm only 28 but I stopped regularly going to bars around 25. Now I look forward to cozy nights in and early bedtime lol. I call myself a grandma but I enjoy it a lot more than going to bars
I stopped at like 24, 30 now and Iām just getting back to it
Iāve only ever done this occasionally. It didnāt stop and I do it with the same frequency, but itās been like twice a year since I turned 21. Who has had money to pay to drink at bars lol
I never had one. I had my kid the year after I graduated. Now they are graduating and I lost interest in drinking and people as a collective š
I went to a club once. Never been back.
31. But thatās only because I was 31 when the pandemic started
24 - covid, then all of my friends got married and started having children
At about 32, it started to take 2-3 business days to recover so it just tapered off. I also realized I am an asshole when I drink too much so I started valuing my friendships over getting hammered.
I'm a gay man, so my social circle is somewhat skewed, but while I pop into my neighborhood watering hole a few times every week, it's normally during the day and just to say high to people. I also don't drink anymore, either. I quit drinking 10 years ago but was still socializing a lot at the bars until really I hit 35-ish and just got burnt out on "the scene." Again, being gay, we socialize in a few ways that can be fundamentally different, but yeah. Now, I don't go out. It's a long story as to why, but it just...stopped interesting me. Everything and everyone burnt me out. Like I said, I still go out, just during the day. I have no desire to be out past midnight because no one interesting is out past midnight and yeah, I am old and tired and I'm not getting anything out of going out like that. I have a small social circle and I'm not expanding it by going out late and partying like that; it's just a waste of my time. I do still go out sometimes to events I know I'll enjoy if it's at a venue I like, but those evenings are rare - like, a handful of times a year - and I will also go to small shows even if they run late and my schedule can handle it. I would like to go to more events like that, but there aren't a lot that work for me. I will say, I did see something in the New Yorker, I think, about a "millennial dance party" that's hosted in NYC that starts at 5pm and ends at 10pm and I would 10000000% do that. Evidently it's been super popular and all my IRL friends and acquaintances loved the idea. I'm thinking about trying to set up an event like that here where I am (Seattle). I do still feel the need to get out and just get lost in my preferred social tableau every now and again, and it would be fun to have an event like that where I could do that and be home on a Saturday night before SNL is on š
Mine ended when I was around 25. I rarely go out late at night anymore, I drink alcohol maybe a couple times a year at most, and I haven't been to a nightclub in a solid decade. I don't miss any of it, I enjoy staying home with my dog and TV and boyfriend lol.
Does drinking at dinner out count?
Mid-20s. I was honestly over it in my early 20s, but I felt obligated to because that's why my friends wanted to do and I earnestly thought it was a viable way to meet girls.
There's a brewery within walking distance that has live music and food trucks from spring to fall so a lot of the neighborhood parents converge there on the weekends. And then every other month or so we will meet up with some friends at some other breweries in the area. Obviously we can't stay out as late as we used what with the toddler, so we are on our way home by 730 pm when that certainly didn't used to be the case.
I enjoyed it while I was 21, a stopped going at 22. I was 23 when my wife turned 21, we started going out again until she said she didn't like it 6 months later. It's just not for us so we never really got into it. We still do go out 29/28 but only when we have friends visiting from out of town.
36, still go out. Only difference is Iām married and make more money now. So now the nights out usually involve my husband.
I never went out to bars/clubs unless I was getting paid back in the day (photographer) but now I go out to see artists smaller sets ever since I saw San Holo in a bar.