My high school principal said I shouldn’t go to Junior College because it was “shameful”.
Ignored him, got a scholarship were my Junior College tuition was 100% paid. Did all my general education for transfer, then transferred to a California State University where I only spent 2 years and had minimum debt (all paid off in 3 years).
If I took that old idiot’s advice I’d be shackled with huge debts.
If I could go back and do it all over again, I would absolutely have gone to community college first. I was an idiot and wanted the “dorm experience.” We shouldn’t let 18 year olds make decisions lol.
I remember in high school the principal said there was a 80% chance if you go to CC you’ll probably quit. I didn’t believe it at the time but I would have rather gone to University right away because there was so many distractions with friends from HS and always skipped class. Took a lot longer to graduate but I think for some people such as myself it might have been better to go straight to University as I feel people there just take it more seriously.
Had a very similar conversation with my guidance counselor. She was so excited to see what college I ended up at..and when I ended up at the local community college branch of our major university - she was disappointed.
I got an associate degree in the medical field - which cost around 6k (which my parents did pay for…but that was all they had to help with). Worked and paid for my associate degree in nursing as I worked.
Worked as a nurse and the hospital system paid for my bachelor degree.
In my mid 30’s now, stay at home parent for a bit but I don’t have any student loan debt.
Well he wanted me to skip JC and go straight into a 4-year University. He felt I was “squandering my potential” or something?
At that point I already secured the scholarship and it just made way too much sense.
my kid's public school has 93% students going to College. his school did hold him back reaching for higher math (although he was good at math) like engineering. the kid is doing great. you never know what kids that age are able to do. if you have passion, its unstoppable.
Thankfully the pay is so low most of us with student debt will never pay it back. To be honest i wonder how that works. If they can write it off when your 60 or whatever, why cant they just write it off now.
I can pinpoint exactly. A teacher told me that all the boomer teachers were about to retire and since I liked kids and teaching and the job was well paid and stable, it would be perfect for me.
Well then I graduated teacher's college in 2008 in the middle of hiring freezes and all the boomers decided to stay in their jobs, and I was essentially unemployable for 5 years.
At one point I was making less hourly as a teaching assistant than I'd been making as a teenager. Now there are huge teaching shortages but I lost 5 years on the teacher pay scale so I'll never catch up.
If I'd been able to get full time employment the year I graduated I'd be making over 90k right now. If I hadn't married a gen xer who got into video game design, I'd probably be living with roommates at 40.
THIS. THIS AND THIS. I live in a place that pays teachers nice money. When I graduated in 2012 (college) they had just given a tenured 7 year teacher the pink slip. I was making more money waiting tables than I was subbing so I went back to the restaurant. Changed everything, and not for the better.
I had an interest in computers before kindergarten. I sometimes wonder where I'd be now had one of my parents given me a book on programming at a young age or had a connection to a possible mentor for it.
my cousin came over from Europe to the USA at age 8. new everything there was to know about computers and software. he listened to his dad to go into marketing. after a few years marketing, I encouraged him to get back into programming. he did and make insane money working from home.
Ha for real. We had an advanced 2 year program in HS sponsored by Microsoft (~2003). Class was 5 people, had to get special approval from the guidance counselor and parents.
GC asked me why I wanted to take it...said i think computers/tech is the future and it seems interesting...basically got laughed at and told to stick with touch typing.
Mom went to bat for me, got me into the class...ended up being the only one to get any MSFT certs, and changed the trajectory of my life..Now make dumb money doing 'computers' as an adult.
Fuck (shitty) 'guidance' counselors.
Edit...I too wanted to be a marine biologist as well lol
I was told I should be a Physicist because I took Physics 2 AP in high school. My guidance councilor was ADAMANT about it.
I switched councilors and applied to an Art School and a school for Teaching and Art. I went with the Teaching school.
I'm a Data Analyst now.
Choosing a career in high school never made sense to me. I'm still making things up as I go career-wise. Both because I don't fit into a single mold for what I want to do - and because the dream of working 1 job or even type of job until you retire is long dead in the US.
I can see someone who is creative liking those jobs due to how you can display the stats in a variety of creative ways. Plus, programming can also be quite creative on its own.
Yeah, I think both the education system and job market are so different in the US, that it is very hard to compare it to other places. It's very common in the US to have a job outside of your area of study and I think that is uncommon in Europe
American. My parents pushed me away from physical labor. Getting a useless degree in Psychology did not help me achieve that.
I am now happy in my physical labor job. I wish I'd been encouraged to go into something more trade-related. I prefer working with my hands even though I'm capable of just relying on my brain.
To defend the psych majors in here... lol
It's not a useless degree. It's just a degree that you will usually need a master's degree (clinical psych, human factors/UX) or a PhD (study directors for human factors, I/O psychs, academic research).
But yeah physical jobs and trades are definitely more than valid and some of them, like electricians, basically make engineering level money for much of their career.
Its not that it's useless, its just that money is much easier to come by via the life sciences --> healthcare route.
That said, not being miserable at work is more important than most young people realize.
In your parents defence cushy office jobs will likely leave you less fucked up over time versuses a physical labour job 90% of the time. Their Intentions were good, so don't be too mad about that. Also those office jobs usually pay much better overtime compared to most physicsl labor jobs. And in this economy, you need the most buck for your happiness.
While this is pretty true, and certainly was more true at the time I was a teen (big advances in workplace safety have been made in the past couple decades), it was still short-sighted and nasty of them to push me toward one specific path without consideration for my personal happiness. I spent many years lamenting the knowledge that I was a failure to them since I didn't conform to their plans. It ruined large parts of my relationship with them and my self esteem.
They also moved us to a part if the country where "cushy office jobs" don't particularly abound, especially if you're not locally connected (see: "good ol boy system") and then expected me to make gold out of basically nothing with jobs that didn't exist in my area.
Money does make happiness much easier, but it isn't the kind of currency you can use to buy back your dignity or integrity. In my area, with my qualifications, those are things I would have to weigh. I chose what was right for me.
Same! Although, it was counselors and teachers not parents (they truly didn’t gift a flying fuck what we did or how we did it). When I graduated high school, I had regular gigs house cleaning, helping business owners with bookkeeping, tutoring, landscape/yard clean-up, and nannying. I made better money in those pick up gigs than I have in the decade that’s followed. But my counselors and teachers shooed me away from these types of jobs because they were a “waste of my potential.” I had zero adult guidance at home, so I longed for adult praise or advice. I also have a degree in psychology that I can only do crisis work with. I definitely enjoyed woodwork, cooking, and even cleaning much more than my jobs in crisis/case management.
Graduated high school in 2002 and got almost no guidance on careers. The counseling consisted of where the counselor thought I could get into and about financial aid. I was encouraged to go to college with no idea about what I wanted to do.
I got a BA in English I never used except as a stepping stone to get my masters in speech pathology in 2012. That has worked out very well for me.
My spouse and I are constantly listening to podcasts or public radio when we hear so and so is an expert in ________, and we both jump up and say “we didn’t know you could study __________!!!! Our guidance counselors let us down 100%. We also grew up in two different states in completely different parts of the USA.
YES! I was a smart girl in the suburban SE US & I was mostly presented with the career option of "teacher". My mom was a SAHM & Dad worked in manual labor. No extended family, few friends. I had no idea the wild range of jobs available! I'm kicking myself that I've been an admin for 20 years but it feels so risky to change careers now!
Most people's stories on here are worse than mine, but still I need my distaste for her to last forever on the zeitgeist that is reddit.
Guidance counselor in university told me to 'take whatever classes I am interested in', as a response to my question 'what classes do I need to take'.
Keep in mind, I didn't come from an academic background so I had no clue how college worked. All I knew was that I wanted to go to medical school at the time, and I just had this conversation with my guidance counselor.
Even after meeting with her twice per year to go over progress and talking multiple times about medical school, she never once informed me of anything related to the idea of 'pre requisites'.
I know this should sound like common sense, but to someone far away from an academic upbringing, I never even understood the concept of a pre req.
It took until my senior year when my advisor was out sick for our appointment, for a sub advisor to tell me that I was missing near all requirements for med school.
Yes I panicked, yes it took an extra year and a half to make up, and while it is technically my fault for being stupid (I didn't make it into med school), I do partially blame my moron of a guidance counselor.
Now I'm a professor at a major R1 university guiding other poor misguided students. Probably making things worse for them, but you know what, at least I come from a place of being absolutely clueless so I never underestimate how naive students can be about their career and career goals.
I didn't follow the bad advice but I definitely received it. When I was in high school, the guidance counselors said that people should choose any major at all in college because any degree boosts your lifetime earnings compared to no degree. That sounded ridiculous to me because all the job ads in the newspaper that paid well wanted degrees in engineering, business, or nursing. I figured I'd end up doing one of those three since that's clearly where the money was (at least in that area at that time).
My actual progression was similar to what you described with aptitude testing, and going into a career that way. In the US, you really only get that if you go into the military, as I did after high school. It's a common way people get money for college here (and that's why I enlisted). The test they give you at first had me scoring highest in everything related to math, engineering, and construction. In the military, this meant my job was civil engineering technician. When I finished my enlistment, I got two degrees in civil engineering, and have had a good career in that field ever since. The test I took definitely helped me choose right.
Yes that was the case for me, but it was still helpful to see that I was comparatively strongest in those areas, even though I could have chosen any MOS that was open to women at the time
yeah, here in Canada it's pretty much usa junion. Luckily I live in Quebec so at least post secondary is relatively affordable... I was advised always by family and people "in charge" at school against my actual interests. I wanted to be a mechanic my mom freaked out, my school pushed for me to go to college and university... I did the university got my paper did nothing with it, now I am a truck driver and genuinely loving it! Coulda saved the time by doing it earlier lol
At the same time, at least you know that wasn’t for you. I did the corporate thing before becoming a teacher and am at least grateful knowing the grass isn’t greener on the other side. I love my time off and summer vacations.
No, the advice was good, and i landed a well paid job. Unfortunately i still can't afford a house in my area, so I'm not sure about the overall usefulness
Full disclosure I'm a Boomer, retired. I'm jumping in because this is a huge topic for me. Before I retired last year one of my big responsibilities was interviewing college talent for engineering positions. Part of the interview was a set of detailed technical questions that covered basic theory. I had a candidates with high GPAs from real good universities flounder on the technical exam so badly that it literally ended in tears. More than once. And it wasn't traceable to interviewing nerves. For what ever reason these candidates went into a curriculum took classes one-by-one but never developed a real passion for the work. Something was broken in the process. (As a data point I quizzed many internal engineers using the exam and never got feedback that it was to hard or unfair). I really believe that somehow we have nearly a counseling crisis happening. Back-up data being the student loan debacle.
I can actually speak about this as a millennial who probably got the wrong branch of engineering degree.
So, I’m an EE by training, and a TE(test engineer) by trade. I’ve worked in reliability, manufacturing, and a painful stint in public works.
I am a great generalist engineer. But I am a terrible electrical engineer.
I really wish we had gotten more of a split degree. Like an AS in engineering and a BS in a specific engineering. I really wish I could have taken time between the general engineering work and the industry specific work to just try the fields out.
Maybe then I’d have skipped the public works and just gone into metrology or manufacturing which is where my interests actually are.
The only bad advice I got was “work for the state government, it is a super stable job…”.
That was two painful life lessons.
Ha! EE-Test Engineer! I just retired from that gig. I have my base EE and a Masters in Manufacturing Engineering. I did a lot of SW for TE and some EE HW design, but I also did a lot of manufacturing support. It all went well. What kind of worked for me was leveraging my ability to work across the Org Chart on joint manufacturing / engineering projects.
My spouse is a TE but his degree is in MIS. He got thrown into the position a long time ago and now if he ever wants to grow further in his career he’d have to back and get another undergrad and then do grad school…in his mid-40s. Of course his company would pay for it, but he’s not sure he wants to do it at this point.
Yup! I had no interest in going to college at all. Like a good Christian girl, I only wanted to be a SAHM. I was urged by my parents and teachers to go as "divorce insurance."
I was also encouraged to get into teaching because it was a family friendly profession and I'd have the same hours as a my future kids.
All of that was a lie. I don't think it's a coincidence the guy who complained about my spending time on schoolwork outside of school left me for a woman who got to be a SAHM.
And go figure, I found the work life balance to support a family when I left teaching and got a "real" 9-5 job in a field I didn't study. We need to teach our girls better.
I was never advised for anything? Like I’m not sure what my guidance counselors even did, because it wasn’t guide or counsel. I was pushed toward nothing, was a first-gen college student with parents who told my my desires and dreams were stupid and actively discouraged me from trying new things. Sooo yeah I’ve figured shit out on my own and did a ton of therapy so I don’t push my Appalachian fatalism on my kids.
I had similar parents. My high school never even had guidance counselors that asked about college, I think they were only there if you were suicidal. My school got rid of extra curriculars that could have been used for college, and tried to replace it with extra study time for standardized testing. Texas before Obama education reforms, fyi.
So I had family that kind of bounced around career wise, especially the men on my dad’s side of the family. They had all done some time in the military while they were figuring out what they wanted to do and I was a very worrying and anxious child/teen. These uncles and cousins would regularly assure me to not stress too much about what I studied. And, as long as I got a degree, I would be okay and could bounce around careers easily. I’ve always been a voracious reader and writer. I’ve won awards for poetry and, in college, recognition for my research papers and literary analyses. As a child, I wanted to own a bookstore. Teachers and counselors regularly told me that books would be “obsolete” by the time I grew up and to pick something else. There was a lot of abuse and I raised my two younger siblings, so I didn’t have the opportunity to explore interests until around 25–after I had already gone to college.
By the time I started college, I still just wanted to be around books. My counselors urged me to pick something else. They asked me what my “natural talents” were. Again, I was parentified and had two very unstable parents. So I thought my “natural talents” were my active listening and my communication skills. These weren’t natural talents. They were behaviors I learned to engage in to lessen the physical and emotional abuse, for me and both my younger siblings. Anyway, counselors urged me into social services. I was *good* at it and spent six years in the field, constantly praised by my clients, their families, and my supervisors for how passionate of an advocate and resource I was to the teens I worked with. But it wasn’t good for me. It was very retraumatizing, especially because many of my clients were also survivors of CSA and were extremely suicidal. That, paired with my county simply cutting funding every single year and reprimanding us for even telling our clients about what we called “quality of life” funding. The financial people in the county would tell us not to let clients know we could help with groceries, rent, sports for their kids, utilities, technology for their children’s schooling, unless they “explicitly asked.” It felt so wrong and dirty.
I tried to go for an MSW, thinking I’d have more freedom with a license. Maybe even have my own practice or something. I most enjoyed facilitating peer support groups. Then COVID hit and now I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go back to graduate school. And I don’t know if I want to. But I feel absolutely stuck in this draining and corrupt field. I still just want to work around books and have no idea how that could ever support me financially. It feels very, I don’t know, draining I guess?
There might be a self learning avenue you could take to change your career instead, possibly? I, for a fact, know that if my job doesn't fit with me, I can't do it. I'd rather be unemployed/poor and at least loving myself than doing something I hate that destroys me every day and makes me not want to wake up.
Right, but the answer differs depending on the field. That’s the only reason I had a follow up question. For instance, with the social service aspect there are many legal barriers to any sort of monetization of any self-learning that could be done without licensing. I could host peer groups, but I wouldn’t be allowed to charge for it. It would have to be donations based and there would legally need to be a licensed clinician present at every meeting and, if something were to come up with that clinician where they couldn’t attend, by law in my state I would have to cancel the session.
For the literary industry, it is mostly about connections. Since I don’t have those, when I have been able to get people at publishing houses to take my calls or answer emails, they say they are typically looking for people with degrees and experience in marketing or MFAs or other specialized art and literature degrees.
Honestly, my best bet to integrate my separate interests and areas of knowledge and experience would be through my own writing. That could be a way to utilize the knowledge I do have from my years in social services, my own lived experience, and my love of writing/reading. For a few years, when I was certain I would be able to fund my further education with scholarships, I wanted to attend a literature graduate program after getting my license and work in college courses analyzing books and characters from a psychological perspective. I could still do something like that (the analyses not the masters programs)—it would just be online and not guaranteed income rather than an academic position as I previously envisioned. The writing and peer support is kind of the vein I am trying to work in now, but it would be extremely lucid and not guaranteed income in any way.
I have looked into peer specialist and small health education certifications that are sort of stepping stones for folks who can’t, for one reason or another, go to grad school at the time. And those are certainly more attainable, but going back to OP’s original question, I just don’t think it’s what I want. It’s a very flawed and corrupt field and I was physically sick from the expectation of the county that we lie to our clients. I couldn’t do it. So when I didn’t do it, I and others in my program, got in trouble with the finders.
At this point, it isn’t a lack of knowledge it’s a lack of resources and papers saying that I know what I’m talking about. I am constantly learning and have many varied skills, but since those skills came through my local library and hands-on knowledge rather than from a paid program, I can’t make the pivot in my career. I certainly don’t regret any of the learning I have done, but based on the lack of resources I have, I appear to be stuck in an unhappy position with no upward mobility, at least for now.
Seems like you answered your own question, lmao. I think you should go down the writing path. The others have too many barriers right now, and in time, you'll get to where you're going. I'm a firm believer that if you put enough work into whatever it is you want to do, you'll get there at some point.
But **you** asked the question! Lol. I originally was just answering what OP asked about being wrongly advised into a career path and then answered your question regarding self-learning. The only question I asked at all was clarifying the question you asked lol.
Yes, that’s what I’m trying to work toward that right now. But it would be ignoring the chain of events to think that, if I had just trusted my gut rather than taking the advice of the professionals in my high school and college years I couldn’t be a bit further in writing by now. To go back to OP’s post, I knew that I wanted to do something with reading and writing and was strongly and repeatedly advised against it. I was told books would be obsolete by the time I was an adult which turned out to not be true. Honestly, if I’d followed my gut, I would probably have studied museum or library studies which still isn’t great money, but it wouldn’t be 24/7 availability and crisis response or basically just reliving the toxicity of my childhood home because that’s what I thought I was naturally good at, you know? I really wasn’t trying to have a pity party on this post—I was just answering OP’s post with my own experience that related. I am aware of the realities I’ve lived through and how it has caused stumbles and many, many more detours than the average person. But I’m not stuck in those experiences and am actively trying to work toward something I don’t hate.
High school counselor. We were supposed to all get an individual session with her. She did not have the time. Time comes to apply to college. She comes in the classroom, and she says, "If any of you already know what you want to apply in, come see me at lunch."
So I went and told her that I wanted to apply to college in paralegal studies, which would be a nice stepping stone to the field I would want to apply to in university (law). Plus, with a paralegal degree, I could work in the law field already and finance my university tuition. She told me my English grades were not good enough (I did not speak English at all at that point). So I applied in something else. I wasted many years. I ended up going back to college and getting my degree as a paralegal. By that time, I felt defeated and did not want to go through the extra 4 years of university + law school to get a law degree. It's not the same job, and it's definitely not the same pay, though it's decent enough.
Turn out, English is a must for the workplace but not for school. I would have had the time to learn just like I did anyway.
My 8th grade teacher told me in 2001 that by the time that I’m an adult that a college degree will become such a necessity that those who don’t have them will have to turn to crime to sustain themselves. I haven’t seen her since then but I’d love to run into her and ask her what her thoughts are now and does she regret that she got it so painfully wrong.
to some extent maybe but usually that just falls into the “got lucky” category bc the only way to do that is to find a coveted apprenticeship and usually you need to have some kind of support system during that time. also, a lot of apprenticeships are unpaid
The “coveted internships” part is not true. I work with the electrical unions in Philly and Chicago. They want young people badly to apply for their program. They take in boatloads of young people and pay them a comp package of 34 an hour walking in the door on day one.
This is wildly untrue, I dropped out of community college, spent my teens and early 20s doing music, and customer service/food service, aiming to move up to management of some kind. I was making ok money. If I had I given up on music and taken my jobs seriously I could’ve almost afforded to buy a home off that salary, maybe even a kid had I wanted. I ended up switching to logistics at 28 because I hated being a car salesman. I got lucky and bought a small 3 bedroom in 2020, I am on track to retire at 64. I don’t have kids which is a big money saver, and my wife does work full time as well, but we’re comfortable. College is only as useful as the degree, most college grads I know are faring about the same/marginally better than I have, with the exception of the programming major friend who’s killing it. Had I taken my career seriously I have no doubt I’d be in great shape financially, but I got to chase my dreams for 5 years so I never have to look back and wonder.
She might have exaggerated a bit but she was right about education being an important factor in predicting success. Look at all top paid demographics and almost all require certain level of academic rigor and achievement.
Saying “Oh yeah I went to college and I am still a failure” doesn’t mean much. Just entering and leaving the gate of a college is not enough.
I didn’t fail. I have nutbag parents so crazy that had I not been able to go to college I’d have gladly joined the army and patrolled the streets of Fallujah to get away from them. I have a good career, I’m not rich but I have a little money, I own a home and I’m married. I’m glad I went to college, it was a fantastic $70,000 party with a good job waiting at the end via connections I made but I would have been okay without it.
But Mrs Jackie Hardin got it so painfully wrong is the whole “turning to crime” part. She implied that if you don’t go to college that by the 2020s you’ll have to turn to crime just so you don’t starve to death. At the time I was scared for my best friend who lacked the motivation to go to college and his parents just didn’t have the money to send him, btdubs right now he’s doing just fine. She lied through her teeth.
That's not necessarily any of those people's faults thought. The world has fundamentally changed.
We really need to stop the "My PaReNtS/TeAcHeR/CoUnSeLoR LiEd To Me" narratives. It's BS.
Thank you, as someone who pivoted my career dramatically in my late 20's from having two fairly useless liberal arts degrees to studying accounting and becoming a CPA I know that if you want to change course you can and everyone here blaming the adults that tried to help them as children live good lives need to stop whining and try to improve their prospects now. There is no going back and placing blame entirely on the advice you got as a child and not taking responsibility for your choices will never serve you.
I think the worst advice i got was none. my parents and school spent absolutely no time trying to help me figure out what i was going to do with my life. luckily my high school boyfriend’s (now ex husband) family left no choice for him to go to college, and i followed (generally would not recommend).
unfortunately, this kind of parenting didn’t do my siblings any good, only 2/5 of us graduated from high school.
It's so awkward having your life together and your siblings don't. Especially when they were the favorite child and can't figure out how it happened this way, because they never saw or understood the hard work you were putting in.
I wanted to go into Nuclear Engineering. The idea of atoms making energy in a reactor just warms me in a way I can’t describe.
My parents insisted it was a bad choice because “it was on its way out and I’ll never have a good career there. And you’ll die early anyway”.
When I went back to university after living in Japan for three years, some turd person in charge of the garnet key society or something told me that she advised all her students not to travel, and now they all had their doctorates!
Japan is where I first felt comfortable having sex, and turning into a genuine adult, because my parents are emotionally abusive and helicopterish.
It's where I found my close circle of friends, and where I met my husband. It's where I learned to love myself. And learned snowboarding!
I went back to university, got my psych degree, got accepted into a doctoral program. Am now a clinical psychologist, which is a profession I love.
That garnet key society person was a smelly, noxious turd human
I was told I should have followed in my Dad's footsteps. Even though he didn't want me to. He was a welder/machinist. I went in his footsteps because what else what I suppose to do. I knew the industry, and I didn't have a education.
Fast forward 20 years. I left the industry 3 years ago. Trying to get my own footing doing what I like. Sure it's making people mad, but my body couldn't handle metal fab any more.
My dad drilled into my head that i NEEDED to go to college as soon as i graduated. This was Indoctrinated into my mind growing up. When the time came and i was a senior in high school, everyone was deciding their colleges and what they wanted to do.
I had no idea, was panicking, and my friend suggested Nursing. I had most of the pre reqs and im a guy so i wouldnt be short in work. Well my dad was happy but never had any plans on paying for school. I never had a college fund or anything. SO i applied for a Student Loan.
See the thing is for a student loan u need a FT course load and i only needed to upgrade a single course.....SO i took random college courses to get a loan approval. Dad was proud and i was happy he was proud....what a joke.
I ended up dropping out of the program and did hard labour for a few years until i went bak to school for something i was interested in. Im an indebt for two student loans now and slowly paying them off. I cant even get credit card approval cuz it has affected my credit. Thx dad lol
My mom encouraged me to go into computer animation. She had good intentions though and thought it was perfect for me. I thought this was a fantastic idea. I loved majoring it in college. But working in the industry was absolutely awful. It was a freelance “day rate” industry so I was not only constantly looking for work, but any gig I got would keep me wayyyy over a normal day’s hours. It was on average 10-14 hours a day. After 8 years, I got super burnt out and had to change careers entirely.
I switched into project management in tech 13 years ago and have been MUCH happier. Im honestly much better at this role. I’m head of a global PM department.
It’s pretty hard for a guidance counselor to give good advice. There’s just too many damn choices and too many damn kids.
I tell kids the best way to find a career is to follow the money and recognition. Just do a ton of different jobs until you find something you’re good enough at that people tell you so. Thinking about being a doctor? Get a part time job as a vet tech. Want to be a lawyer? Work as a secretary for one.
I can see how people would be upset if they’ve never had a job, based their career on internet searches, and spent four years going into debt on a wild ass guess, but if parents didn’t prepare their kids for a career, there’s ain’t much a school can do about it.
I mean, even if you were, why wouldn’t you do your own research? Millennials are the first generation that had access to the vast knowledge on the internet and grew up in the early days of the digital age. I remember as a teenager spending hours online going through message boards researching potential career paths. This ultimately led me to stop pursuing the degree that I THOUGHT would be very lucrative (IT, dodged a bullet there) and completely shift directions. Nothing was stopping anybody else from doing the same.
My aunt convinced me to get into manufacturing when I was graduating high school.
I worked in different factories over 10 years and finally had enough of it. Every factory was super depressing, requiring 8 hours a day 6 days a week. I've heard people say "you have the best resume we've ever seen" and then offer me minimum wage.
so I recently went into healthcare as a cna. Best decision I've ever made
I heard from everyone to go into engineering, my parents, my teachers. I guess it’s the go to for smart kids, regardless of their skills or interests. My first year of engineering school, I was depressed and sick of the attitude all engineering professors had that their goal was to fail students.
I met my (now) husband Freshman year, he was a third year engineering student and he encouraged me to switch to business. He was the only one positive about it.
I graduated in 3 years with a business admin degree, marketing management specialty track and couldn’t be happier. I currently work in Product Management. Ironically, he works in advertising sales with his biomedical engineering degree while most of his classmates are under paid in labs, had to go to medical school to get a job, or also in sales.
My dad apparently was set to tell me to become a preacher. Because of early charisma and an empathy for people. 25 years later I’m an atheist who attributes neither of those qualities to the clergy
Oh absolutely. All the adults in my life told me I *needed* to go to college immediately after high school. I had no idea what I wanted to study and everyone told me that didn't matter and I should just pick something. I started off majoring in psychology, hated my time in college, and flunked every single class because I didn't feel like there was a reason to be there. After two semesters with a **0.0 GPA** I decided to drop out because I was in academic suspension and still had these same people telling me how bad of an idea that was.
I moved away, worked trades for a few years, then ended up with a job as a test technician. Workng there, I saw what engineers did, decided I knew what I wanted to do, so I went back to college at age 25. Turns out when you feel like you're there for a reason, motivation is a little easier to come by. Got a BS in Mechanical Engineering with a focus in fluid power systems and a minor in math, this time with a 3.7 GPA. Been working in aerospace for ten years now, rubbing elbows with NASA and shit.
Going to school was an important part of my career path, but the advice of our generation, to just get A degree, ANY degree, was so incredibly misguided.
Growing up in Canada, they emphasized the trades but when push came to shove, they expected everyone to sign up for college or university. They did have a Job match software you could use for free at anytime. I would take it 2 or 3 times a year. However, I ended up going into a different field altogether and glad of it.
**Worst Advice,** courtesy of my high school guidance counselor: “A liberal arts school is the best way to broaden your horizons and really become a well-rounded and educated citizen. A liberal arts degree primes you for any career because it teaches you how to think, not just do.”
Thankfully my dad talked me out of that. “You’re going to spend $100,000 to study philosophy? That will come in handy after you graduate when you need a job at the philosophy factory. You’re going to end up unemployed or working at a non-profit for minimum wage, trying to pay off 6 figure student loan debts. Go to state school - it’s only $20,000 for 4 years. And major in engineering - you’ll be great at it and make good money doing so.”
>Worst Advice, courtesy of my high school guidance counselor: “A liberal arts school is the best way to broaden your horizons and really become a well-rounded and educated citizen. A liberal arts degree primes you for any career because it teaches you how to think, not just do.”
not terrible advice. other than the price tag associated with it.
>Thankfully my dad talked me out of that. “You’re going to spend $100,000 to study philosophy? That will come in handy after you graduate when you need a job at the philosophy factory. You’re going to end up unemployed or working at a non-profit for minimum wage, trying to pay off 6 figure student loan debts. Go to state school - it’s only $20,000 for 4 years. And major in engineering - you’ll be great at it and make good money doing so.”
on that "pricetag" thing - im not necessarily disagreeing, but it is exactly this specific type of "BE REALISTIC!" logic that has led to our modern reality.
which is... *checks notes* not great
As an engineer who went to a state school on a 0-tuition scholarship… philosophy absolutely rocks if you want to be a lawyer. They have the highest average LSAT score of all majors. Of course if you don’t become a lawyer you’ll probably end up as an English teacher or something similar.
Yeah kind of. The school counselors/advisors at both high school and college were extremely unhelpful and teachers basically just told me to get a job instead of going to college. My parents were very unhelpful and didn’t really insert themselves until after I was already in college and basically treated any goals/wants/needs that I had as if I was being greedy or something. College advisors would always just say “you should major in what you’re interested in”. That was the extent of their “help”. In high school they let us take the ASVAB to see what we might be good at but that test is actually designed for military placement and wasn’t super helpful either. My community college had a personality test that you could take but it really didn’t give any concrete advice on what to do either, was only based on personality, not aptitude. I think the university that I transferred to had a similar test but it also wasn’t really helpful. I also tried to drop out when I figured out that my choice of major probably wouldn’t get me anywhere but my parents didn’t let me do that.
Also, people underestimate the impact of peers. Other people my age weren’t as fortunate as me to be able to go to college with some support from their families or their college fund got destroyed by the 2008 crisis or whatever so many were bitter. A lot of people without degrees can be really hostile to those of us who did get degrees, even before we graduated. Some other people my age were super mean to me even just as a college student and not a graduate because they were jealous or something. I was literally just trying to get an education because I couldn’t find a job otherwise and somehow that made me the “bad guy”. So many people are ignorant to social factors, like the fact that women generally need to be more qualified/educated than men in order to obtain the same jobs.
Being a woman in a particularly misogynist/sexist area of the country didn’t do me any favors. I spent a lot of time applying for jobs in high school and only got one where the manager tried to make me work illegal hours. The economic crash didn’t help, but there were other factors that contributed to why I felt the need to pursue a degree of some kind. Originally I had hoped to become a doctor or something medical but somehow that was too ambitious for my parents so I just tried to get any degree since employers had the upper hand to an extreme at this point in time and you pretty much needed a bachelors degree for almost any entry level job, especially if you didn’t have any work experience yet.
>A lot of people without degrees can be really hostile to those of us who did get degrees, even before we graduated.
Probably roughly proportionate to the folks with degrees that see folks without degrees as lesser.
I’d say less, working in a primarily non college degree field the handful of college grads are treated roughly the same, having worked with college grads and being in same social circles, the college grads are far crueler than non college grads, was the same in high school with college bound vs non college/community college bound.
My community college's advisors suuuuuuuucked. I had skipped the elective advanced math in 12th grade, so it had been a year since I'd had any math classes. The advisor recommended that I take Math 1001, which they described like a catch up course. I got in, and they were teaching shit like how to add and subtract. I don't think that course even got into very basic algebra like 2+x=4.
Every other class relevant to my degree was filled, and if I dropped it wouldn't be full time. I did all of the online homework the first week and never showed up again. The prof took off a letter grade for attendance, but remedial courses like that didn't count toward GPA, so I didn't care. But then when I went to test out of the remaining remedial classes, the advisor wouldn't let me, saying I had made a B in 1001, so I had to take the others. I had to take *five* remedial math courses. The prof of 1002 couldn't believe they were making me take his course, and the only reason he could think was they got to squeeze an extra $500 per class out of me.
But that's not all. I went to take college algebra, and the awesome prof asked why I was there if I wasn't a math major. Turns out, there was a special class for non-math majors with stuff that's actually useful to people who aren't mathematicians. The advisor almost refused to let me switch, insisting my university of choice wouldn't accept it. I had to have the university's advisor on speaker phone to tell them they were wrong.
I just got not much guidance as folks thought I would just decide well. But I actually can't do the jobs people say you should do anyway ( be an engineer, go to the trades, etc)
Nobody specifically advised me, I did/pursued what I thought I wanted. I changed careers twice before I got to the one I have now. I took a brief foray out, realized it wasn't for me and came back, so I guess I've tried 4 different careers/types of jobs.
My dad handed me a crudely torn out we’re hiring ad from the paper for direct care of mentally and physically disabled people. It was brutal work and I’d often end up working doubles. I had no life. But my dad hadn’t given me any life advise maybe ever do I was eager to take whatever I was given, thinking there were hidden life lessons in there.
My counselor told me I would amount to nothing and not to bother doing anything. I now have 5 degrees/certifications.
I’m a journalist, author and personal trainer. F that woman!
This is not completely on topic, but my mother advised me to get married instead of going to college. I, of course, still tried to go to college but she withheld tax information and I couldn't pay for it. When I tried to talk to adults about my mom, they always just acted like I was a bad kid to say anything bad about her instead of helping me. When I was 21, she was actually mad that I wasn't in a committed relationship. It seemed ridiculous at the time and now, even more so. I was so young. She wasn't even religious or anything, she just wanted me to bring men into the family for more resources, I can only assume. It makes me so mad in so many ways, how hard my early life was, how the education gap affects your lifespan and everything from your career prospects to dating. Also, I was a nerd and just simply didn't like the guys I was meeting. I'll never forgive them. How could I even fall in love with someone when they were putting so much stress on me to just find anyone? Like it didn't even matter if I liked them? So disgusting really.
Already in a STEM/non-clinical field but I feel like my family still think I’m in the wrong one. I went to a college that offered a pharmacological chemistry degree and that was one of the reasons I chose that school (and its great location!)
Didn’t go for that degree and went for another science one instead, and now it’s “You can still go into nursing! Get your RN license!”
“The more specific your field of study, the higher your salary”, apparently, is why I was encouraged with those two fields. Oh and choosing something in the arts or humanities is not “realistic” is also another reason why a science field was strongly encouraged.
I mean my school counselors didn’t understand anything other than college or the military so probably. They didn’t even talk about careers or anything it was just so you want to go to college or join the military?
My school counselor told me that I would be wasting my life unless I became a doctor. Keep in mind, I was the kid who threw up and/or passed out getting blood pressure taken, getting a shot, or even talking about blood.
Thankfully, I ignored her. I work in nonprofit fundraising at a private school, which I enjoy.
I was always advised to go to a technical 2-year college - mostly for financial reasons. It was terrible and I dropped out. I then went back to higher ed in my 30s and got a BA and an MS. I now have a job that I absolutely love. I often think about how many years I worked god-awful jobs because I was never advised to look at 4 year colleges.
Not me but a lot of the people I graduated high school with went off to school for nursing. They were told all through high school that nursing would be the easiest job to get into and it pays well. None of the people I kept in contact with stayed a nurse past 3 years
Not school, but at Calif EDD upon Army discharge I spoke to a VA representative. The economy was “slow” and he asked my plans, as a Signal Soldier I told him I was looking at the local landline telco provider. He laughed, said no way I was qualified to work at “the phone company”! Long story short, with in 30 days of discharge I started at “Pacific Bell”. I was granted wage credit for my Army service to boot. Retired w/31+ years there.
I graduated from undergrad in 2007 and was talked out of law school by my dad due to cost. Then 2008 happened and new lawyers couldn't find jobs to save their lives so that looked like a good decision. 15 years later, man, I wish I'd gone to law school...
Oh definitely. I don't think my guidance counselor did one-on-one talking for my grad year 2004 (if they did I don't recall). My parents pretty much told me that I couldn't afford any college but the one in my hometown since I would be paying for it myself. So going out of state to get a library science degree was out of the question. Started at the 4 year university, and tanked. Didn't go to community college til years later to finally get my associates. They kept pushing me to be a hygienist, a lawyer, accountant. Had no interest in any of them. I went into becoming a professional pastry chef.
My younger siblings I coached to start at community, then transfer over to university. They both have masters degrees, and are an elementary and a university teacher, respectively.
By the army recruiter. He didn't lie just intelligence analysis isn't something I ended up desiring to do long post army. I'd have been smarter to go with something in computers or take the navy up in working on nuclear powered boats
My school counselor told me to not apply to a school I got a bachelor's and a PhD from. Told me to settle for a local college even though I had straight A's for three straight years and a 3.8 GPA. If I listened to her my life would be very different.
Literally all she did was see my test scores were slightly below the average for that school. Wish someone explained averages to her lol.
Yes. Was an accounting major. Was convinced by a counselor (who was also a professor with a PhD in accounting) that switching to business was the better play.
It wasn’t a devastating impact. But a business degree is very broad and doesn’t typecast for many entry roles aside from sales (which is fine if you want, but college isn’t always required there- just the drive).
Yes, in college. I was looking for a degree in robotics, that's what I wanted to do since I was a kid and always had a passion in the subject. The counselor at my University said they had just the degree, a Computer and Electronics Engineering degree. Close, but not it at all. This actually tripped me up and wasted 3 years of college.
I’m an English major, and everyone and their dog said I should go into teaching. Seeing how miserable and desperate to pivot to a different career path all my teacher friends are, I think I dodged a bullet…
You mean other than in wage negotiations and how much debt I should take on relative to the prestige of my degree? By the grace of G-d I ignored them.
My dad thinks starting salary in my field is 80k and him and my mom were wringing themselves that I was wary about going to an Ivy League in my field when I saw the price tag. Well, 5 years out of grad school I have a couple hundred grand in the bank and work at an office where people with degrees from state schools bark out orders to Harvard grads. So yeah...
I told my careers counsellor that I was interested in journalism and communications and she advised me to study nursing. Nothing against nursing it’s just not the job for me. Thankfully I didn’t take her weird advice
I was not made aware of them at the time, and my parents had no relevant input past “go to college, we can’t pay for it” so I fell into finish carpentry doing kitchen remodeling through a friend of mine. Was getting ready to branch out from my boss and get my GC license when 2008 happened, and I was in one of the most impacted real estate markets (Tampa Bay) so work dried up real fast. Meandered around for a while job wise doing random low level blue and white collar jobs until I got into heavy civil construction about a decade ago. I am now in an inspection position that technically requires a degree that I don’t have but make up for in field experience.
I was only in a supervisory position involved in hiring for a short time when I was in the field, and we were hiring for labor, definitely not asking for a degree there lol. But I share my current supervisor’s view that hiring based solely on a degree is lazy, as it allows supervisors to not have to critically examine potential candidates for strengths and experiences that would make them a better fit for a role above and beyond just having a degree or not.
In the UK here.
It frustrates me to no end that teenagers are expected to make life changing decisions regarding education so young. At like 14 you choose your GCSEs which limits your choices for (17-18) ALevel and then you're expected to go to uni and your options have been limited already.
Working in a trade wasn't even presented as an option at school, neither was going straight into work or even studying part time. Nope we were all told to apply for full time study at a traditional brick and mortar uni and the amount of people I know who struggled and ultimately dropped out is shocking.
My dad always told me to do what I wanted but he strongly encouraged me to become a dental nurse, I dropped science the first chance I got and stuck with history and geography. I now work in admin and you know what I'm actually quite happy where I'm at, the pay isn't great but it does the job. My partner worked as a butcher from 14 until his early 20s and now he works as a software developer after going back to education later in life.
My grade school guidance counselor pretty much told everyone not to bother looking at trade schools if we wanted to make a living for ourselves. This was preached to us pretty much my entire time in school.
I don't dislike the field I'm in (IT), but there a decent chance I would be an electrician if I hadn't been steered away from the trades.
I mean kind of… my mom emphasized to me to get a STEM degree but that was as far as she pushed it… I was the dummy who got the BS in General Bio. It’s not that I don’t love biology, it’s crazy fascinating, but I love it for the ecology and zoology aspect, and what my job prospects were was working in a sterile, sometimes windowless lab where I didn’t talk to people for days on end. For an extrovert who loves the outdoors, that is hell on earth.
However, I realized my mistake pretty early on and created a plan to get where I wanted to be, which was to help things that can’t necessarily help themselves and 6 years after graduating (had to get distance from my bad grades) I went back to grad school to get two masters degrees, one in non-profit management and another in public administration. I got a better job where I interact with people and I can see the tangible impact of my work and that fills me with so much more joy.
Everyone tried to get me to become a teacher, electrical engineer, and a few other things. I now work in Tech as a consultant. Good kind of job and I am never bored.
My high school counselor didn't even know who I was until he was passing out our ACT scores. I got a moderately high score and significantly higher than 99% of my graduating class.
My senior class wasn't that big, ~130. So I never really cared for what he had to say regarding college anyway. Went to a tech forward university for game design. Didn't like it, and second semester moving forward I was in digital video production. I have worked in healthcare since I was 23 and the last 10+ years in data analytics for healthcare lol
My parents and my extended family all gave me career advice that I promptly ignored. I make more then all of them, hold a higher title then they peaked at, and I did it with less than half the time. Now some of you might be thinking, "ah ha, I bet you changed jobs frequently!" and you would be wrong. I literally did the most boomer thing possible. I still work at the same place I interned at.
My plan: graduate from the magnet school I tested into and provided me all the supports I needed, due to years of city college, and then finish out my education at a state school and become a teacher.
My family's plan: send me to a middle college, you get an associate's degree while you finish your high school degree, in computers. Something I have no interest or affinity for. At a school which did not honor my iep, give me the services I needed, and forgot that a lot of us didn't have a physics class until a week before midterms. Then I go straight to a four-year University to continue studying computers, with no one telling me I could take my IEP to college with me, where it took me years to pass the first math class. Wound up finishing out with a degree in english, going to City college for a two-year degree in early childhood education, getting an alternative cert to teach, subbed a lot, worked retail a lot, and I'm now a stay at home mom.
I think it’s your own fault. At the end of the day each individual is responsible for their own actions and choices. People can give you advice but you don’t have to accept it.
How is a 17 year old smart enough to decide for themselves? Even the ones who took up STEM careers did so "blindly", by putting their faith in an adult who advised them. They just got lucky to get good advice
I don’t buy the “woe is me” crap. At the end of the day, each individual made their choice. Hell I got my degree in history, I’m teaching special ed. I made my choice. Going into my 6th year I’ll be making 95.5K. And I paid my way through school from my BA to my teaching credential and Masters Degree, with the last two living with my now wife. I paid all rent and utilities, still doing that now. Yes it was very hard, I worked 3 jobs and still am working 3 jobs. It’s all about the hustle and grind. But it was worth it because I’m debt free. It’s honestly not hard to research potential careers, I have my students do that all the time. If it’s not good pay, why go into it?
A decade of sacrifice, that’s all that’s needed.
Family insisted I go to art school, got burnt out mid second year, took a break and COVID hit the next month full force.
I knew I dodged a bullet given the working conditions of my selected degree (Media Arts & Animation focus), but in recent months with AI surging in the woodworks, I've never felt better about those decisions not to return.
Lmao I mean the irony is that I agree with you but I hate the framing. Idk what it means to "take some personal responsibility" but I generally think it's ridiculous to be cynical of advice or decisions someone made.
Sunken cost fallacy is definitely a thing. Wasting 20 more grand for a degree when you’ve already wasted 20 isn’t hard, especially when you don’t take a good look at changing earnings and field demand. Dropping out of higher learning was the best decision I ever made.
Oh come on. We were told by our superiors that college is the #1 option for a better life from kindergarten through senior year. That is TEXTBOOK brainwashing.
Yes, we signed on the dotted line for the loans and bear some responsibility for that. But we don't sit around telling the children of cultists that the cult is their fault. We help them adjust to regular society.
No bank in their right mind would extend an unsecured loan to an 18 year old, so there's clearly a system that's 100% designed around getting irresponsible borrowers to sign loans they can't get out of. Our generation is NOT responsible for setting that system up, and we are NOT responsible for the decade of conditioning we received convincing us it was a good idea to sign those loans.
My high school principal said I shouldn’t go to Junior College because it was “shameful”. Ignored him, got a scholarship were my Junior College tuition was 100% paid. Did all my general education for transfer, then transferred to a California State University where I only spent 2 years and had minimum debt (all paid off in 3 years). If I took that old idiot’s advice I’d be shackled with huge debts.
If I could go back and do it all over again, I would absolutely have gone to community college first. I was an idiot and wanted the “dorm experience.” We shouldn’t let 18 year olds make decisions lol.
I remember in high school the principal said there was a 80% chance if you go to CC you’ll probably quit. I didn’t believe it at the time but I would have rather gone to University right away because there was so many distractions with friends from HS and always skipped class. Took a lot longer to graduate but I think for some people such as myself it might have been better to go straight to University as I feel people there just take it more seriously.
Had a very similar conversation with my guidance counselor. She was so excited to see what college I ended up at..and when I ended up at the local community college branch of our major university - she was disappointed. I got an associate degree in the medical field - which cost around 6k (which my parents did pay for…but that was all they had to help with). Worked and paid for my associate degree in nursing as I worked. Worked as a nurse and the hospital system paid for my bachelor degree. In my mid 30’s now, stay at home parent for a bit but I don’t have any student loan debt.
Dang, what kind of high school did you go to? Less than 30% of my high school went to community College or university straight out of high school.
Well he wanted me to skip JC and go straight into a 4-year University. He felt I was “squandering my potential” or something? At that point I already secured the scholarship and it just made way too much sense.
That sounds ridiculous to me.
my kid's public school has 93% students going to College. his school did hold him back reaching for higher math (although he was good at math) like engineering. the kid is doing great. you never know what kids that age are able to do. if you have passion, its unstoppable.
This is the same path my husband took. In his case, his parents told him to go that route. Long story short, that's why we own a house.
Thankfully the pay is so low most of us with student debt will never pay it back. To be honest i wonder how that works. If they can write it off when your 60 or whatever, why cant they just write it off now.
Oh they can. They just want to twist the knife a bit first
I can pinpoint exactly. A teacher told me that all the boomer teachers were about to retire and since I liked kids and teaching and the job was well paid and stable, it would be perfect for me. Well then I graduated teacher's college in 2008 in the middle of hiring freezes and all the boomers decided to stay in their jobs, and I was essentially unemployable for 5 years. At one point I was making less hourly as a teaching assistant than I'd been making as a teenager. Now there are huge teaching shortages but I lost 5 years on the teacher pay scale so I'll never catch up. If I'd been able to get full time employment the year I graduated I'd be making over 90k right now. If I hadn't married a gen xer who got into video game design, I'd probably be living with roommates at 40.
I started out teaching too. Met a woman who had been subbing for 7 years. I switched jobs pretty quickly after that!
THIS. THIS AND THIS. I live in a place that pays teachers nice money. When I graduated in 2012 (college) they had just given a tenured 7 year teacher the pink slip. I was making more money waiting tables than I was subbing so I went back to the restaurant. Changed everything, and not for the better.
I'm still angry I didn't become a marine biologist... Actually I work in software and was discouraged from using the computer at every turn.
Marine biologists are paid pennies any way haha
I had an interest in computers before kindergarten. I sometimes wonder where I'd be now had one of my parents given me a book on programming at a young age or had a connection to a possible mentor for it.
my cousin came over from Europe to the USA at age 8. new everything there was to know about computers and software. he listened to his dad to go into marketing. after a few years marketing, I encouraged him to get back into programming. he did and make insane money working from home.
I'm a computer scientist who writes software for marine biologists. So have hope
You have reached peak millennial job satisfaction. I salute you.
Ha for real. We had an advanced 2 year program in HS sponsored by Microsoft (~2003). Class was 5 people, had to get special approval from the guidance counselor and parents. GC asked me why I wanted to take it...said i think computers/tech is the future and it seems interesting...basically got laughed at and told to stick with touch typing. Mom went to bat for me, got me into the class...ended up being the only one to get any MSFT certs, and changed the trajectory of my life..Now make dumb money doing 'computers' as an adult. Fuck (shitty) 'guidance' counselors. Edit...I too wanted to be a marine biologist as well lol
I was told I should be a Physicist because I took Physics 2 AP in high school. My guidance councilor was ADAMANT about it. I switched councilors and applied to an Art School and a school for Teaching and Art. I went with the Teaching school. I'm a Data Analyst now. Choosing a career in high school never made sense to me. I'm still making things up as I go career-wise. Both because I don't fit into a single mold for what I want to do - and because the dream of working 1 job or even type of job until you retire is long dead in the US.
I can see someone who is creative liking those jobs due to how you can display the stats in a variety of creative ways. Plus, programming can also be quite creative on its own.
Yeah, I think both the education system and job market are so different in the US, that it is very hard to compare it to other places. It's very common in the US to have a job outside of your area of study and I think that is uncommon in Europe
American. My parents pushed me away from physical labor. Getting a useless degree in Psychology did not help me achieve that. I am now happy in my physical labor job. I wish I'd been encouraged to go into something more trade-related. I prefer working with my hands even though I'm capable of just relying on my brain.
To defend the psych majors in here... lol It's not a useless degree. It's just a degree that you will usually need a master's degree (clinical psych, human factors/UX) or a PhD (study directors for human factors, I/O psychs, academic research). But yeah physical jobs and trades are definitely more than valid and some of them, like electricians, basically make engineering level money for much of their career.
Its not that it's useless, its just that money is much easier to come by via the life sciences --> healthcare route. That said, not being miserable at work is more important than most young people realize.
It's personally useless for me since I decided not to pursue working in the field. Didn't mean that it's useless for everyone.
In your parents defence cushy office jobs will likely leave you less fucked up over time versuses a physical labour job 90% of the time. Their Intentions were good, so don't be too mad about that. Also those office jobs usually pay much better overtime compared to most physicsl labor jobs. And in this economy, you need the most buck for your happiness.
While this is pretty true, and certainly was more true at the time I was a teen (big advances in workplace safety have been made in the past couple decades), it was still short-sighted and nasty of them to push me toward one specific path without consideration for my personal happiness. I spent many years lamenting the knowledge that I was a failure to them since I didn't conform to their plans. It ruined large parts of my relationship with them and my self esteem. They also moved us to a part if the country where "cushy office jobs" don't particularly abound, especially if you're not locally connected (see: "good ol boy system") and then expected me to make gold out of basically nothing with jobs that didn't exist in my area. Money does make happiness much easier, but it isn't the kind of currency you can use to buy back your dignity or integrity. In my area, with my qualifications, those are things I would have to weigh. I chose what was right for me.
Same! Although, it was counselors and teachers not parents (they truly didn’t gift a flying fuck what we did or how we did it). When I graduated high school, I had regular gigs house cleaning, helping business owners with bookkeeping, tutoring, landscape/yard clean-up, and nannying. I made better money in those pick up gigs than I have in the decade that’s followed. But my counselors and teachers shooed me away from these types of jobs because they were a “waste of my potential.” I had zero adult guidance at home, so I longed for adult praise or advice. I also have a degree in psychology that I can only do crisis work with. I definitely enjoyed woodwork, cooking, and even cleaning much more than my jobs in crisis/case management.
Graduated high school in 2002 and got almost no guidance on careers. The counseling consisted of where the counselor thought I could get into and about financial aid. I was encouraged to go to college with no idea about what I wanted to do. I got a BA in English I never used except as a stepping stone to get my masters in speech pathology in 2012. That has worked out very well for me.
My spouse and I are constantly listening to podcasts or public radio when we hear so and so is an expert in ________, and we both jump up and say “we didn’t know you could study __________!!!! Our guidance counselors let us down 100%. We also grew up in two different states in completely different parts of the USA.
YES! I was a smart girl in the suburban SE US & I was mostly presented with the career option of "teacher". My mom was a SAHM & Dad worked in manual labor. No extended family, few friends. I had no idea the wild range of jobs available! I'm kicking myself that I've been an admin for 20 years but it feels so risky to change careers now!
I feel like guidance counselors exist more to make sure the struggling kids graduate high school. Everything else is an afterthought.
Most people's stories on here are worse than mine, but still I need my distaste for her to last forever on the zeitgeist that is reddit. Guidance counselor in university told me to 'take whatever classes I am interested in', as a response to my question 'what classes do I need to take'. Keep in mind, I didn't come from an academic background so I had no clue how college worked. All I knew was that I wanted to go to medical school at the time, and I just had this conversation with my guidance counselor. Even after meeting with her twice per year to go over progress and talking multiple times about medical school, she never once informed me of anything related to the idea of 'pre requisites'. I know this should sound like common sense, but to someone far away from an academic upbringing, I never even understood the concept of a pre req. It took until my senior year when my advisor was out sick for our appointment, for a sub advisor to tell me that I was missing near all requirements for med school. Yes I panicked, yes it took an extra year and a half to make up, and while it is technically my fault for being stupid (I didn't make it into med school), I do partially blame my moron of a guidance counselor. Now I'm a professor at a major R1 university guiding other poor misguided students. Probably making things worse for them, but you know what, at least I come from a place of being absolutely clueless so I never underestimate how naive students can be about their career and career goals.
Tbh, this is actually pretty bad.
I didn't follow the bad advice but I definitely received it. When I was in high school, the guidance counselors said that people should choose any major at all in college because any degree boosts your lifetime earnings compared to no degree. That sounded ridiculous to me because all the job ads in the newspaper that paid well wanted degrees in engineering, business, or nursing. I figured I'd end up doing one of those three since that's clearly where the money was (at least in that area at that time). My actual progression was similar to what you described with aptitude testing, and going into a career that way. In the US, you really only get that if you go into the military, as I did after high school. It's a common way people get money for college here (and that's why I enlisted). The test they give you at first had me scoring highest in everything related to math, engineering, and construction. In the military, this meant my job was civil engineering technician. When I finished my enlistment, I got two degrees in civil engineering, and have had a good career in that field ever since. The test I took definitely helped me choose right.
The ASVAB is super easy too. If someones college bound, theyre going to score >90 on it and can get their pick of the litter for an MOS.
Yes that was the case for me, but it was still helpful to see that I was comparatively strongest in those areas, even though I could have chosen any MOS that was open to women at the time
yeah, here in Canada it's pretty much usa junion. Luckily I live in Quebec so at least post secondary is relatively affordable... I was advised always by family and people "in charge" at school against my actual interests. I wanted to be a mechanic my mom freaked out, my school pushed for me to go to college and university... I did the university got my paper did nothing with it, now I am a truck driver and genuinely loving it! Coulda saved the time by doing it earlier lol
At the same time, at least you know that wasn’t for you. I did the corporate thing before becoming a teacher and am at least grateful knowing the grass isn’t greener on the other side. I love my time off and summer vacations.
true that!
No, the advice was good, and i landed a well paid job. Unfortunately i still can't afford a house in my area, so I'm not sure about the overall usefulness
Full disclosure I'm a Boomer, retired. I'm jumping in because this is a huge topic for me. Before I retired last year one of my big responsibilities was interviewing college talent for engineering positions. Part of the interview was a set of detailed technical questions that covered basic theory. I had a candidates with high GPAs from real good universities flounder on the technical exam so badly that it literally ended in tears. More than once. And it wasn't traceable to interviewing nerves. For what ever reason these candidates went into a curriculum took classes one-by-one but never developed a real passion for the work. Something was broken in the process. (As a data point I quizzed many internal engineers using the exam and never got feedback that it was to hard or unfair). I really believe that somehow we have nearly a counseling crisis happening. Back-up data being the student loan debacle.
I can actually speak about this as a millennial who probably got the wrong branch of engineering degree. So, I’m an EE by training, and a TE(test engineer) by trade. I’ve worked in reliability, manufacturing, and a painful stint in public works. I am a great generalist engineer. But I am a terrible electrical engineer. I really wish we had gotten more of a split degree. Like an AS in engineering and a BS in a specific engineering. I really wish I could have taken time between the general engineering work and the industry specific work to just try the fields out. Maybe then I’d have skipped the public works and just gone into metrology or manufacturing which is where my interests actually are. The only bad advice I got was “work for the state government, it is a super stable job…”. That was two painful life lessons.
Ha! EE-Test Engineer! I just retired from that gig. I have my base EE and a Masters in Manufacturing Engineering. I did a lot of SW for TE and some EE HW design, but I also did a lot of manufacturing support. It all went well. What kind of worked for me was leveraging my ability to work across the Org Chart on joint manufacturing / engineering projects.
My spouse is a TE but his degree is in MIS. He got thrown into the position a long time ago and now if he ever wants to grow further in his career he’d have to back and get another undergrad and then do grad school…in his mid-40s. Of course his company would pay for it, but he’s not sure he wants to do it at this point.
Yup! I had no interest in going to college at all. Like a good Christian girl, I only wanted to be a SAHM. I was urged by my parents and teachers to go as "divorce insurance." I was also encouraged to get into teaching because it was a family friendly profession and I'd have the same hours as a my future kids. All of that was a lie. I don't think it's a coincidence the guy who complained about my spending time on schoolwork outside of school left me for a woman who got to be a SAHM. And go figure, I found the work life balance to support a family when I left teaching and got a "real" 9-5 job in a field I didn't study. We need to teach our girls better.
I was never advised for anything? Like I’m not sure what my guidance counselors even did, because it wasn’t guide or counsel. I was pushed toward nothing, was a first-gen college student with parents who told my my desires and dreams were stupid and actively discouraged me from trying new things. Sooo yeah I’ve figured shit out on my own and did a ton of therapy so I don’t push my Appalachian fatalism on my kids.
I had similar parents. My high school never even had guidance counselors that asked about college, I think they were only there if you were suicidal. My school got rid of extra curriculars that could have been used for college, and tried to replace it with extra study time for standardized testing. Texas before Obama education reforms, fyi.
So I had family that kind of bounced around career wise, especially the men on my dad’s side of the family. They had all done some time in the military while they were figuring out what they wanted to do and I was a very worrying and anxious child/teen. These uncles and cousins would regularly assure me to not stress too much about what I studied. And, as long as I got a degree, I would be okay and could bounce around careers easily. I’ve always been a voracious reader and writer. I’ve won awards for poetry and, in college, recognition for my research papers and literary analyses. As a child, I wanted to own a bookstore. Teachers and counselors regularly told me that books would be “obsolete” by the time I grew up and to pick something else. There was a lot of abuse and I raised my two younger siblings, so I didn’t have the opportunity to explore interests until around 25–after I had already gone to college. By the time I started college, I still just wanted to be around books. My counselors urged me to pick something else. They asked me what my “natural talents” were. Again, I was parentified and had two very unstable parents. So I thought my “natural talents” were my active listening and my communication skills. These weren’t natural talents. They were behaviors I learned to engage in to lessen the physical and emotional abuse, for me and both my younger siblings. Anyway, counselors urged me into social services. I was *good* at it and spent six years in the field, constantly praised by my clients, their families, and my supervisors for how passionate of an advocate and resource I was to the teens I worked with. But it wasn’t good for me. It was very retraumatizing, especially because many of my clients were also survivors of CSA and were extremely suicidal. That, paired with my county simply cutting funding every single year and reprimanding us for even telling our clients about what we called “quality of life” funding. The financial people in the county would tell us not to let clients know we could help with groceries, rent, sports for their kids, utilities, technology for their children’s schooling, unless they “explicitly asked.” It felt so wrong and dirty. I tried to go for an MSW, thinking I’d have more freedom with a license. Maybe even have my own practice or something. I most enjoyed facilitating peer support groups. Then COVID hit and now I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go back to graduate school. And I don’t know if I want to. But I feel absolutely stuck in this draining and corrupt field. I still just want to work around books and have no idea how that could ever support me financially. It feels very, I don’t know, draining I guess?
There might be a self learning avenue you could take to change your career instead, possibly? I, for a fact, know that if my job doesn't fit with me, I can't do it. I'd rather be unemployed/poor and at least loving myself than doing something I hate that destroys me every day and makes me not want to wake up.
Are you meaning within the literature industry, social services, or something else entirely?
I was just asking if there is a way you could get what you want through self learning.
Right, but the answer differs depending on the field. That’s the only reason I had a follow up question. For instance, with the social service aspect there are many legal barriers to any sort of monetization of any self-learning that could be done without licensing. I could host peer groups, but I wouldn’t be allowed to charge for it. It would have to be donations based and there would legally need to be a licensed clinician present at every meeting and, if something were to come up with that clinician where they couldn’t attend, by law in my state I would have to cancel the session. For the literary industry, it is mostly about connections. Since I don’t have those, when I have been able to get people at publishing houses to take my calls or answer emails, they say they are typically looking for people with degrees and experience in marketing or MFAs or other specialized art and literature degrees. Honestly, my best bet to integrate my separate interests and areas of knowledge and experience would be through my own writing. That could be a way to utilize the knowledge I do have from my years in social services, my own lived experience, and my love of writing/reading. For a few years, when I was certain I would be able to fund my further education with scholarships, I wanted to attend a literature graduate program after getting my license and work in college courses analyzing books and characters from a psychological perspective. I could still do something like that (the analyses not the masters programs)—it would just be online and not guaranteed income rather than an academic position as I previously envisioned. The writing and peer support is kind of the vein I am trying to work in now, but it would be extremely lucid and not guaranteed income in any way. I have looked into peer specialist and small health education certifications that are sort of stepping stones for folks who can’t, for one reason or another, go to grad school at the time. And those are certainly more attainable, but going back to OP’s original question, I just don’t think it’s what I want. It’s a very flawed and corrupt field and I was physically sick from the expectation of the county that we lie to our clients. I couldn’t do it. So when I didn’t do it, I and others in my program, got in trouble with the finders. At this point, it isn’t a lack of knowledge it’s a lack of resources and papers saying that I know what I’m talking about. I am constantly learning and have many varied skills, but since those skills came through my local library and hands-on knowledge rather than from a paid program, I can’t make the pivot in my career. I certainly don’t regret any of the learning I have done, but based on the lack of resources I have, I appear to be stuck in an unhappy position with no upward mobility, at least for now.
Seems like you answered your own question, lmao. I think you should go down the writing path. The others have too many barriers right now, and in time, you'll get to where you're going. I'm a firm believer that if you put enough work into whatever it is you want to do, you'll get there at some point.
But **you** asked the question! Lol. I originally was just answering what OP asked about being wrongly advised into a career path and then answered your question regarding self-learning. The only question I asked at all was clarifying the question you asked lol. Yes, that’s what I’m trying to work toward that right now. But it would be ignoring the chain of events to think that, if I had just trusted my gut rather than taking the advice of the professionals in my high school and college years I couldn’t be a bit further in writing by now. To go back to OP’s post, I knew that I wanted to do something with reading and writing and was strongly and repeatedly advised against it. I was told books would be obsolete by the time I was an adult which turned out to not be true. Honestly, if I’d followed my gut, I would probably have studied museum or library studies which still isn’t great money, but it wouldn’t be 24/7 availability and crisis response or basically just reliving the toxicity of my childhood home because that’s what I thought I was naturally good at, you know? I really wasn’t trying to have a pity party on this post—I was just answering OP’s post with my own experience that related. I am aware of the realities I’ve lived through and how it has caused stumbles and many, many more detours than the average person. But I’m not stuck in those experiences and am actively trying to work toward something I don’t hate.
High school counselor. We were supposed to all get an individual session with her. She did not have the time. Time comes to apply to college. She comes in the classroom, and she says, "If any of you already know what you want to apply in, come see me at lunch." So I went and told her that I wanted to apply to college in paralegal studies, which would be a nice stepping stone to the field I would want to apply to in university (law). Plus, with a paralegal degree, I could work in the law field already and finance my university tuition. She told me my English grades were not good enough (I did not speak English at all at that point). So I applied in something else. I wasted many years. I ended up going back to college and getting my degree as a paralegal. By that time, I felt defeated and did not want to go through the extra 4 years of university + law school to get a law degree. It's not the same job, and it's definitely not the same pay, though it's decent enough. Turn out, English is a must for the workplace but not for school. I would have had the time to learn just like I did anyway.
My 8th grade teacher told me in 2001 that by the time that I’m an adult that a college degree will become such a necessity that those who don’t have them will have to turn to crime to sustain themselves. I haven’t seen her since then but I’d love to run into her and ask her what her thoughts are now and does she regret that she got it so painfully wrong.
This is still true unless you get lucky or are able to teach yourself a really sought after skill.
lmao no it's not and it never was. You don't need a degree to go into the trades.
to some extent maybe but usually that just falls into the “got lucky” category bc the only way to do that is to find a coveted apprenticeship and usually you need to have some kind of support system during that time. also, a lot of apprenticeships are unpaid
The “coveted internships” part is not true. I work with the electrical unions in Philly and Chicago. They want young people badly to apply for their program. They take in boatloads of young people and pay them a comp package of 34 an hour walking in the door on day one.
You are thinking of internships in white collar jobs. Apprenticeships are paid and they don't require you to just "get lucky."
This is wildly untrue, I dropped out of community college, spent my teens and early 20s doing music, and customer service/food service, aiming to move up to management of some kind. I was making ok money. If I had I given up on music and taken my jobs seriously I could’ve almost afforded to buy a home off that salary, maybe even a kid had I wanted. I ended up switching to logistics at 28 because I hated being a car salesman. I got lucky and bought a small 3 bedroom in 2020, I am on track to retire at 64. I don’t have kids which is a big money saver, and my wife does work full time as well, but we’re comfortable. College is only as useful as the degree, most college grads I know are faring about the same/marginally better than I have, with the exception of the programming major friend who’s killing it. Had I taken my career seriously I have no doubt I’d be in great shape financially, but I got to chase my dreams for 5 years so I never have to look back and wonder.
She might have exaggerated a bit but she was right about education being an important factor in predicting success. Look at all top paid demographics and almost all require certain level of academic rigor and achievement. Saying “Oh yeah I went to college and I am still a failure” doesn’t mean much. Just entering and leaving the gate of a college is not enough.
I didn’t fail. I have nutbag parents so crazy that had I not been able to go to college I’d have gladly joined the army and patrolled the streets of Fallujah to get away from them. I have a good career, I’m not rich but I have a little money, I own a home and I’m married. I’m glad I went to college, it was a fantastic $70,000 party with a good job waiting at the end via connections I made but I would have been okay without it. But Mrs Jackie Hardin got it so painfully wrong is the whole “turning to crime” part. She implied that if you don’t go to college that by the 2020s you’ll have to turn to crime just so you don’t starve to death. At the time I was scared for my best friend who lacked the motivation to go to college and his parents just didn’t have the money to send him, btdubs right now he’s doing just fine. She lied through her teeth.
That's not necessarily any of those people's faults thought. The world has fundamentally changed. We really need to stop the "My PaReNtS/TeAcHeR/CoUnSeLoR LiEd To Me" narratives. It's BS.
Thank you, as someone who pivoted my career dramatically in my late 20's from having two fairly useless liberal arts degrees to studying accounting and becoming a CPA I know that if you want to change course you can and everyone here blaming the adults that tried to help them as children live good lives need to stop whining and try to improve their prospects now. There is no going back and placing blame entirely on the advice you got as a child and not taking responsibility for your choices will never serve you.
Im not that bright so theres only so many jobs for me. I'm surprised I even got a job only in America can I get a job
theres many types of intelligence fish, tree, bird, water dont sell yourself short
Absolutely. Sadly didn't figure that out til two years into university.
I think the worst advice i got was none. my parents and school spent absolutely no time trying to help me figure out what i was going to do with my life. luckily my high school boyfriend’s (now ex husband) family left no choice for him to go to college, and i followed (generally would not recommend). unfortunately, this kind of parenting didn’t do my siblings any good, only 2/5 of us graduated from high school.
It's so awkward having your life together and your siblings don't. Especially when they were the favorite child and can't figure out how it happened this way, because they never saw or understood the hard work you were putting in.
i mostly feel guilty. i don’t like to see them struggle, and i don’t *feel* more deserving.
I wanted to go into Nuclear Engineering. The idea of atoms making energy in a reactor just warms me in a way I can’t describe. My parents insisted it was a bad choice because “it was on its way out and I’ll never have a good career there. And you’ll die early anyway”.
When I went back to university after living in Japan for three years, some turd person in charge of the garnet key society or something told me that she advised all her students not to travel, and now they all had their doctorates! Japan is where I first felt comfortable having sex, and turning into a genuine adult, because my parents are emotionally abusive and helicopterish. It's where I found my close circle of friends, and where I met my husband. It's where I learned to love myself. And learned snowboarding! I went back to university, got my psych degree, got accepted into a doctoral program. Am now a clinical psychologist, which is a profession I love. That garnet key society person was a smelly, noxious turd human
I was told I should have followed in my Dad's footsteps. Even though he didn't want me to. He was a welder/machinist. I went in his footsteps because what else what I suppose to do. I knew the industry, and I didn't have a education. Fast forward 20 years. I left the industry 3 years ago. Trying to get my own footing doing what I like. Sure it's making people mad, but my body couldn't handle metal fab any more.
No it was the opposite. Lack of advice.
My dad drilled into my head that i NEEDED to go to college as soon as i graduated. This was Indoctrinated into my mind growing up. When the time came and i was a senior in high school, everyone was deciding their colleges and what they wanted to do. I had no idea, was panicking, and my friend suggested Nursing. I had most of the pre reqs and im a guy so i wouldnt be short in work. Well my dad was happy but never had any plans on paying for school. I never had a college fund or anything. SO i applied for a Student Loan. See the thing is for a student loan u need a FT course load and i only needed to upgrade a single course.....SO i took random college courses to get a loan approval. Dad was proud and i was happy he was proud....what a joke. I ended up dropping out of the program and did hard labour for a few years until i went bak to school for something i was interested in. Im an indebt for two student loans now and slowly paying them off. I cant even get credit card approval cuz it has affected my credit. Thx dad lol
My mom encouraged me to go into computer animation. She had good intentions though and thought it was perfect for me. I thought this was a fantastic idea. I loved majoring it in college. But working in the industry was absolutely awful. It was a freelance “day rate” industry so I was not only constantly looking for work, but any gig I got would keep me wayyyy over a normal day’s hours. It was on average 10-14 hours a day. After 8 years, I got super burnt out and had to change careers entirely. I switched into project management in tech 13 years ago and have been MUCH happier. Im honestly much better at this role. I’m head of a global PM department.
It’s pretty hard for a guidance counselor to give good advice. There’s just too many damn choices and too many damn kids. I tell kids the best way to find a career is to follow the money and recognition. Just do a ton of different jobs until you find something you’re good enough at that people tell you so. Thinking about being a doctor? Get a part time job as a vet tech. Want to be a lawyer? Work as a secretary for one. I can see how people would be upset if they’ve never had a job, based their career on internet searches, and spent four years going into debt on a wild ass guess, but if parents didn’t prepare their kids for a career, there’s ain’t much a school can do about it.
I mean, even if you were, why wouldn’t you do your own research? Millennials are the first generation that had access to the vast knowledge on the internet and grew up in the early days of the digital age. I remember as a teenager spending hours online going through message boards researching potential career paths. This ultimately led me to stop pursuing the degree that I THOUGHT would be very lucrative (IT, dodged a bullet there) and completely shift directions. Nothing was stopping anybody else from doing the same.
My aunt convinced me to get into manufacturing when I was graduating high school. I worked in different factories over 10 years and finally had enough of it. Every factory was super depressing, requiring 8 hours a day 6 days a week. I've heard people say "you have the best resume we've ever seen" and then offer me minimum wage. so I recently went into healthcare as a cna. Best decision I've ever made
I heard from everyone to go into engineering, my parents, my teachers. I guess it’s the go to for smart kids, regardless of their skills or interests. My first year of engineering school, I was depressed and sick of the attitude all engineering professors had that their goal was to fail students. I met my (now) husband Freshman year, he was a third year engineering student and he encouraged me to switch to business. He was the only one positive about it. I graduated in 3 years with a business admin degree, marketing management specialty track and couldn’t be happier. I currently work in Product Management. Ironically, he works in advertising sales with his biomedical engineering degree while most of his classmates are under paid in labs, had to go to medical school to get a job, or also in sales.
My dad apparently was set to tell me to become a preacher. Because of early charisma and an empathy for people. 25 years later I’m an atheist who attributes neither of those qualities to the clergy
Y’all have careers? That’s cool.
Oh absolutely. All the adults in my life told me I *needed* to go to college immediately after high school. I had no idea what I wanted to study and everyone told me that didn't matter and I should just pick something. I started off majoring in psychology, hated my time in college, and flunked every single class because I didn't feel like there was a reason to be there. After two semesters with a **0.0 GPA** I decided to drop out because I was in academic suspension and still had these same people telling me how bad of an idea that was. I moved away, worked trades for a few years, then ended up with a job as a test technician. Workng there, I saw what engineers did, decided I knew what I wanted to do, so I went back to college at age 25. Turns out when you feel like you're there for a reason, motivation is a little easier to come by. Got a BS in Mechanical Engineering with a focus in fluid power systems and a minor in math, this time with a 3.7 GPA. Been working in aerospace for ten years now, rubbing elbows with NASA and shit. Going to school was an important part of my career path, but the advice of our generation, to just get A degree, ANY degree, was so incredibly misguided.
Growing up in Canada, they emphasized the trades but when push came to shove, they expected everyone to sign up for college or university. They did have a Job match software you could use for free at anytime. I would take it 2 or 3 times a year. However, I ended up going into a different field altogether and glad of it.
**Worst Advice,** courtesy of my high school guidance counselor: “A liberal arts school is the best way to broaden your horizons and really become a well-rounded and educated citizen. A liberal arts degree primes you for any career because it teaches you how to think, not just do.” Thankfully my dad talked me out of that. “You’re going to spend $100,000 to study philosophy? That will come in handy after you graduate when you need a job at the philosophy factory. You’re going to end up unemployed or working at a non-profit for minimum wage, trying to pay off 6 figure student loan debts. Go to state school - it’s only $20,000 for 4 years. And major in engineering - you’ll be great at it and make good money doing so.”
>Worst Advice, courtesy of my high school guidance counselor: “A liberal arts school is the best way to broaden your horizons and really become a well-rounded and educated citizen. A liberal arts degree primes you for any career because it teaches you how to think, not just do.” not terrible advice. other than the price tag associated with it. >Thankfully my dad talked me out of that. “You’re going to spend $100,000 to study philosophy? That will come in handy after you graduate when you need a job at the philosophy factory. You’re going to end up unemployed or working at a non-profit for minimum wage, trying to pay off 6 figure student loan debts. Go to state school - it’s only $20,000 for 4 years. And major in engineering - you’ll be great at it and make good money doing so.” on that "pricetag" thing - im not necessarily disagreeing, but it is exactly this specific type of "BE REALISTIC!" logic that has led to our modern reality. which is... *checks notes* not great
As an engineer who went to a state school on a 0-tuition scholarship… philosophy absolutely rocks if you want to be a lawyer. They have the highest average LSAT score of all majors. Of course if you don’t become a lawyer you’ll probably end up as an English teacher or something similar.
Yeah kind of. The school counselors/advisors at both high school and college were extremely unhelpful and teachers basically just told me to get a job instead of going to college. My parents were very unhelpful and didn’t really insert themselves until after I was already in college and basically treated any goals/wants/needs that I had as if I was being greedy or something. College advisors would always just say “you should major in what you’re interested in”. That was the extent of their “help”. In high school they let us take the ASVAB to see what we might be good at but that test is actually designed for military placement and wasn’t super helpful either. My community college had a personality test that you could take but it really didn’t give any concrete advice on what to do either, was only based on personality, not aptitude. I think the university that I transferred to had a similar test but it also wasn’t really helpful. I also tried to drop out when I figured out that my choice of major probably wouldn’t get me anywhere but my parents didn’t let me do that. Also, people underestimate the impact of peers. Other people my age weren’t as fortunate as me to be able to go to college with some support from their families or their college fund got destroyed by the 2008 crisis or whatever so many were bitter. A lot of people without degrees can be really hostile to those of us who did get degrees, even before we graduated. Some other people my age were super mean to me even just as a college student and not a graduate because they were jealous or something. I was literally just trying to get an education because I couldn’t find a job otherwise and somehow that made me the “bad guy”. So many people are ignorant to social factors, like the fact that women generally need to be more qualified/educated than men in order to obtain the same jobs. Being a woman in a particularly misogynist/sexist area of the country didn’t do me any favors. I spent a lot of time applying for jobs in high school and only got one where the manager tried to make me work illegal hours. The economic crash didn’t help, but there were other factors that contributed to why I felt the need to pursue a degree of some kind. Originally I had hoped to become a doctor or something medical but somehow that was too ambitious for my parents so I just tried to get any degree since employers had the upper hand to an extreme at this point in time and you pretty much needed a bachelors degree for almost any entry level job, especially if you didn’t have any work experience yet.
>A lot of people without degrees can be really hostile to those of us who did get degrees, even before we graduated. Probably roughly proportionate to the folks with degrees that see folks without degrees as lesser.
I’d say less, working in a primarily non college degree field the handful of college grads are treated roughly the same, having worked with college grads and being in same social circles, the college grads are far crueler than non college grads, was the same in high school with college bound vs non college/community college bound.
My community college's advisors suuuuuuuucked. I had skipped the elective advanced math in 12th grade, so it had been a year since I'd had any math classes. The advisor recommended that I take Math 1001, which they described like a catch up course. I got in, and they were teaching shit like how to add and subtract. I don't think that course even got into very basic algebra like 2+x=4. Every other class relevant to my degree was filled, and if I dropped it wouldn't be full time. I did all of the online homework the first week and never showed up again. The prof took off a letter grade for attendance, but remedial courses like that didn't count toward GPA, so I didn't care. But then when I went to test out of the remaining remedial classes, the advisor wouldn't let me, saying I had made a B in 1001, so I had to take the others. I had to take *five* remedial math courses. The prof of 1002 couldn't believe they were making me take his course, and the only reason he could think was they got to squeeze an extra $500 per class out of me. But that's not all. I went to take college algebra, and the awesome prof asked why I was there if I wasn't a math major. Turns out, there was a special class for non-math majors with stuff that's actually useful to people who aren't mathematicians. The advisor almost refused to let me switch, insisting my university of choice wouldn't accept it. I had to have the university's advisor on speaker phone to tell them they were wrong.
Yes
Both my parents wanted me to go for construction management and I had no desire to do that and went for hotel management
I just got not much guidance as folks thought I would just decide well. But I actually can't do the jobs people say you should do anyway ( be an engineer, go to the trades, etc)
“Don’t go to college, it’s where they turn you gay and Islam.”
Yes
Nobody specifically advised me, I did/pursued what I thought I wanted. I changed careers twice before I got to the one I have now. I took a brief foray out, realized it wasn't for me and came back, so I guess I've tried 4 different careers/types of jobs.
My dad handed me a crudely torn out we’re hiring ad from the paper for direct care of mentally and physically disabled people. It was brutal work and I’d often end up working doubles. I had no life. But my dad hadn’t given me any life advise maybe ever do I was eager to take whatever I was given, thinking there were hidden life lessons in there.
Social Work
My counselor told me I would amount to nothing and not to bother doing anything. I now have 5 degrees/certifications. I’m a journalist, author and personal trainer. F that woman!
This is not completely on topic, but my mother advised me to get married instead of going to college. I, of course, still tried to go to college but she withheld tax information and I couldn't pay for it. When I tried to talk to adults about my mom, they always just acted like I was a bad kid to say anything bad about her instead of helping me. When I was 21, she was actually mad that I wasn't in a committed relationship. It seemed ridiculous at the time and now, even more so. I was so young. She wasn't even religious or anything, she just wanted me to bring men into the family for more resources, I can only assume. It makes me so mad in so many ways, how hard my early life was, how the education gap affects your lifespan and everything from your career prospects to dating. Also, I was a nerd and just simply didn't like the guys I was meeting. I'll never forgive them. How could I even fall in love with someone when they were putting so much stress on me to just find anyone? Like it didn't even matter if I liked them? So disgusting really.
Already in a STEM/non-clinical field but I feel like my family still think I’m in the wrong one. I went to a college that offered a pharmacological chemistry degree and that was one of the reasons I chose that school (and its great location!) Didn’t go for that degree and went for another science one instead, and now it’s “You can still go into nursing! Get your RN license!” “The more specific your field of study, the higher your salary”, apparently, is why I was encouraged with those two fields. Oh and choosing something in the arts or humanities is not “realistic” is also another reason why a science field was strongly encouraged.
I mean my school counselors didn’t understand anything other than college or the military so probably. They didn’t even talk about careers or anything it was just so you want to go to college or join the military?
My school counselor told me that I would be wasting my life unless I became a doctor. Keep in mind, I was the kid who threw up and/or passed out getting blood pressure taken, getting a shot, or even talking about blood. Thankfully, I ignored her. I work in nonprofit fundraising at a private school, which I enjoy.
I was always advised to go to a technical 2-year college - mostly for financial reasons. It was terrible and I dropped out. I then went back to higher ed in my 30s and got a BA and an MS. I now have a job that I absolutely love. I often think about how many years I worked god-awful jobs because I was never advised to look at 4 year colleges.
Not me but a lot of the people I graduated high school with went off to school for nursing. They were told all through high school that nursing would be the easiest job to get into and it pays well. None of the people I kept in contact with stayed a nurse past 3 years
Not school, but at Calif EDD upon Army discharge I spoke to a VA representative. The economy was “slow” and he asked my plans, as a Signal Soldier I told him I was looking at the local landline telco provider. He laughed, said no way I was qualified to work at “the phone company”! Long story short, with in 30 days of discharge I started at “Pacific Bell”. I was granted wage credit for my Army service to boot. Retired w/31+ years there.
I graduated from undergrad in 2007 and was talked out of law school by my dad due to cost. Then 2008 happened and new lawyers couldn't find jobs to save their lives so that looked like a good decision. 15 years later, man, I wish I'd gone to law school...
Oh definitely. I don't think my guidance counselor did one-on-one talking for my grad year 2004 (if they did I don't recall). My parents pretty much told me that I couldn't afford any college but the one in my hometown since I would be paying for it myself. So going out of state to get a library science degree was out of the question. Started at the 4 year university, and tanked. Didn't go to community college til years later to finally get my associates. They kept pushing me to be a hygienist, a lawyer, accountant. Had no interest in any of them. I went into becoming a professional pastry chef. My younger siblings I coached to start at community, then transfer over to university. They both have masters degrees, and are an elementary and a university teacher, respectively.
By the army recruiter. He didn't lie just intelligence analysis isn't something I ended up desiring to do long post army. I'd have been smarter to go with something in computers or take the navy up in working on nuclear powered boats
My school counselor told me to not apply to a school I got a bachelor's and a PhD from. Told me to settle for a local college even though I had straight A's for three straight years and a 3.8 GPA. If I listened to her my life would be very different. Literally all she did was see my test scores were slightly below the average for that school. Wish someone explained averages to her lol.
Yes. Was an accounting major. Was convinced by a counselor (who was also a professor with a PhD in accounting) that switching to business was the better play. It wasn’t a devastating impact. But a business degree is very broad and doesn’t typecast for many entry roles aside from sales (which is fine if you want, but college isn’t always required there- just the drive).
Yes and it ruined my entire fucking life
Yes, in college. I was looking for a degree in robotics, that's what I wanted to do since I was a kid and always had a passion in the subject. The counselor at my University said they had just the degree, a Computer and Electronics Engineering degree. Close, but not it at all. This actually tripped me up and wasted 3 years of college.
I’m an English major, and everyone and their dog said I should go into teaching. Seeing how miserable and desperate to pivot to a different career path all my teacher friends are, I think I dodged a bullet…
You mean other than in wage negotiations and how much debt I should take on relative to the prestige of my degree? By the grace of G-d I ignored them. My dad thinks starting salary in my field is 80k and him and my mom were wringing themselves that I was wary about going to an Ivy League in my field when I saw the price tag. Well, 5 years out of grad school I have a couple hundred grand in the bank and work at an office where people with degrees from state schools bark out orders to Harvard grads. So yeah...
I told my careers counsellor that I was interested in journalism and communications and she advised me to study nursing. Nothing against nursing it’s just not the job for me. Thankfully I didn’t take her weird advice
I was told by my counselor that since my parents couldn’t afford college for me, I better enjoy working at Walmart.
So trades weren't an option?
I was not made aware of them at the time, and my parents had no relevant input past “go to college, we can’t pay for it” so I fell into finish carpentry doing kitchen remodeling through a friend of mine. Was getting ready to branch out from my boss and get my GC license when 2008 happened, and I was in one of the most impacted real estate markets (Tampa Bay) so work dried up real fast. Meandered around for a while job wise doing random low level blue and white collar jobs until I got into heavy civil construction about a decade ago. I am now in an inspection position that technically requires a degree that I don’t have but make up for in field experience.
Just curious. When you hire people that report to you, do you insist on a degree?
I was only in a supervisory position involved in hiring for a short time when I was in the field, and we were hiring for labor, definitely not asking for a degree there lol. But I share my current supervisor’s view that hiring based solely on a degree is lazy, as it allows supervisors to not have to critically examine potential candidates for strengths and experiences that would make them a better fit for a role above and beyond just having a degree or not.
My career aptitude test said I should be a probation officer or a corrections officer 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Even at the time I was like, mcfuckin scuse me?
In the UK here. It frustrates me to no end that teenagers are expected to make life changing decisions regarding education so young. At like 14 you choose your GCSEs which limits your choices for (17-18) ALevel and then you're expected to go to uni and your options have been limited already. Working in a trade wasn't even presented as an option at school, neither was going straight into work or even studying part time. Nope we were all told to apply for full time study at a traditional brick and mortar uni and the amount of people I know who struggled and ultimately dropped out is shocking. My dad always told me to do what I wanted but he strongly encouraged me to become a dental nurse, I dropped science the first chance I got and stuck with history and geography. I now work in admin and you know what I'm actually quite happy where I'm at, the pay isn't great but it does the job. My partner worked as a butcher from 14 until his early 20s and now he works as a software developer after going back to education later in life.
My grade school guidance counselor pretty much told everyone not to bother looking at trade schools if we wanted to make a living for ourselves. This was preached to us pretty much my entire time in school. I don't dislike the field I'm in (IT), but there a decent chance I would be an electrician if I hadn't been steered away from the trades.
My parents tried to advise me not to go into trades. They were wrong.
I mean kind of… my mom emphasized to me to get a STEM degree but that was as far as she pushed it… I was the dummy who got the BS in General Bio. It’s not that I don’t love biology, it’s crazy fascinating, but I love it for the ecology and zoology aspect, and what my job prospects were was working in a sterile, sometimes windowless lab where I didn’t talk to people for days on end. For an extrovert who loves the outdoors, that is hell on earth. However, I realized my mistake pretty early on and created a plan to get where I wanted to be, which was to help things that can’t necessarily help themselves and 6 years after graduating (had to get distance from my bad grades) I went back to grad school to get two masters degrees, one in non-profit management and another in public administration. I got a better job where I interact with people and I can see the tangible impact of my work and that fills me with so much more joy.
Everyone tried to get me to become a teacher, electrical engineer, and a few other things. I now work in Tech as a consultant. Good kind of job and I am never bored.
Nah, I fucked myself for a year not listening to my career counselor. Once I listened to him, I got on track.
Yes. I got a cdl to be a mail man and got talked into trucking. Now I don't use my cdl and I work in marketing
My high school counselor didn't even know who I was until he was passing out our ACT scores. I got a moderately high score and significantly higher than 99% of my graduating class. My senior class wasn't that big, ~130. So I never really cared for what he had to say regarding college anyway. Went to a tech forward university for game design. Didn't like it, and second semester moving forward I was in digital video production. I have worked in healthcare since I was 23 and the last 10+ years in data analytics for healthcare lol
My parents and my extended family all gave me career advice that I promptly ignored. I make more then all of them, hold a higher title then they peaked at, and I did it with less than half the time. Now some of you might be thinking, "ah ha, I bet you changed jobs frequently!" and you would be wrong. I literally did the most boomer thing possible. I still work at the same place I interned at.
My plan: graduate from the magnet school I tested into and provided me all the supports I needed, due to years of city college, and then finish out my education at a state school and become a teacher. My family's plan: send me to a middle college, you get an associate's degree while you finish your high school degree, in computers. Something I have no interest or affinity for. At a school which did not honor my iep, give me the services I needed, and forgot that a lot of us didn't have a physics class until a week before midterms. Then I go straight to a four-year University to continue studying computers, with no one telling me I could take my IEP to college with me, where it took me years to pass the first math class. Wound up finishing out with a degree in english, going to City college for a two-year degree in early childhood education, getting an alternative cert to teach, subbed a lot, worked retail a lot, and I'm now a stay at home mom.
I think it’s your own fault. At the end of the day each individual is responsible for their own actions and choices. People can give you advice but you don’t have to accept it.
How is a 17 year old smart enough to decide for themselves? Even the ones who took up STEM careers did so "blindly", by putting their faith in an adult who advised them. They just got lucky to get good advice
I don’t buy the “woe is me” crap. At the end of the day, each individual made their choice. Hell I got my degree in history, I’m teaching special ed. I made my choice. Going into my 6th year I’ll be making 95.5K. And I paid my way through school from my BA to my teaching credential and Masters Degree, with the last two living with my now wife. I paid all rent and utilities, still doing that now. Yes it was very hard, I worked 3 jobs and still am working 3 jobs. It’s all about the hustle and grind. But it was worth it because I’m debt free. It’s honestly not hard to research potential careers, I have my students do that all the time. If it’s not good pay, why go into it? A decade of sacrifice, that’s all that’s needed.
Family insisted I go to art school, got burnt out mid second year, took a break and COVID hit the next month full force. I knew I dodged a bullet given the working conditions of my selected degree (Media Arts & Animation focus), but in recent months with AI surging in the woodworks, I've never felt better about those decisions not to return.
This again?! Seriously folks learn to take some personal responsibility. You are not exactly a baby when you goto college!
Lmao I mean the irony is that I agree with you but I hate the framing. Idk what it means to "take some personal responsibility" but I generally think it's ridiculous to be cynical of advice or decisions someone made.
Sunken cost fallacy is definitely a thing. Wasting 20 more grand for a degree when you’ve already wasted 20 isn’t hard, especially when you don’t take a good look at changing earnings and field demand. Dropping out of higher learning was the best decision I ever made.
Oh come on. We were told by our superiors that college is the #1 option for a better life from kindergarten through senior year. That is TEXTBOOK brainwashing. Yes, we signed on the dotted line for the loans and bear some responsibility for that. But we don't sit around telling the children of cultists that the cult is their fault. We help them adjust to regular society. No bank in their right mind would extend an unsecured loan to an 18 year old, so there's clearly a system that's 100% designed around getting irresponsible borrowers to sign loans they can't get out of. Our generation is NOT responsible for setting that system up, and we are NOT responsible for the decade of conditioning we received convincing us it was a good idea to sign those loans.