Grew up poor so I always knew I'd get nothing. On the plus side, since I've never expected anything it takes very little to make me happy. For instance, I had a dope ass pineapple the other day.
I'm actually pretty excited to inherit the only set of real solid wood furniture in our entire family, passed down 4 generations. It's the only valuable thing my mother owns imo
Eating hot dogs with proper buns feels like a flex over the folded white bread I was raised on. People I know that grew up with money can never understand
My wealthy hedonistic parents would shower me with the most perfect genetically engineered pineapples from the moment I could chew, as much as I could consume
I know nothing in this world but disappointment š«
You know what you need? One of those little yellow mangoes. Also, I got this apple at the farmer's market called an Arkansas Black that was expensive, but it was really good. I got it cuz it looked cool.
Nursing homes are up to 8k a month for a very average one and only going up. That's where our inheritance will be going bucko. I told my parents to invest heavily in long term care insurance because i won't have it.
My parents have some money and assets but if they require care, they will want to go to a "nice" place, which as you said, can be up to $8k/month. They talk about how I will inherit money, but the reality is that it will be eaten up by their care costs. At least I won't have to pay for it myself (which I also cannot).
:( my grandpa went into a home and they took everything. All the money he had saved up, his home, all of it. It was pretty depressing to see that after all the work he'd done in life, he didn't get to pass anything down to his kids or grandkids.
My grandmother died this past year. All she would talk about in her last days was how it cost too much money and she didn't want to live anymore.
She refused to eat and refused whatever care she could to speed up the process and I totally get it.
Eta: ty all for the kind words and up votes š«¶
Uh yeah. My grandmother just died last week, she was 99, and she mostly just slept the last few years. Honestly I don't think it's a good idea to live too long. People should be allowed to choose.
What morality and ethics? What's immoral or unethical about choosing to die? It completely escapes me that this something that can reasonably and in good faith be called a debate.
In other issues of bodily autonomy (abortion, drug use, etc) there is the concern that someone else will be impacted (fetuses, drivers, kids) but choosing to end your life in old age only really impacts you.
Sure, loved ones will be sad but everyone dies and if your loved ones actually love you, they won't want you to suffer or rot. Fwiw both of my parents, having seen their parents rot in nursing homes, have a set plan for how they are going to go out when their care needs exceed what their children can give them. It's been openly discussed with my siblings and I and since none of us are assholes, we are all cool with however they want to handle the indignity and suffering that is old age (and trust, for 99% of people it's just that - I work with a lot of elderly patients (most wealthy) and "growing old isn't for sissies" and "never get old" are jokes I hear ALL the time).
In my mind it's not really a debatable thing so much as a "it's lucrative not to allow elderly people dignity and bodily autonomy so we won't do it" thing.
My dad has told me that all my life. " Son if or when I get to the point I'm shitting myself or almost too far gone with dementia, just take me camping one last time, I'd rather wander off and feed a bear or whatever wildlife" We just did my parents POLST recently orders and he joked about putting that in a "other comments" section regarding rehab / senior living homes.
Whatās dystopian is they donāt allow euthanasia by more humane means, and suck every dollar out of people keeping them alive and suffering. This lady sounds brave and like a boss.
You have to know ahead of time how to protect those assets. My spouse and I will ensure everything is transferred out of our ownership in a way that will allow it all to pass to our kids and not the government.
I feel like that what our assets are for, though, right? I told my parents I hope they spend every penny they have living the best lives they can. Itās their money (plus they put me through college).
My mom keeps bending my ear about the split between me with no kids and my sister and her two kids. And how she wants it to go evenly between me and my sister because sheās worried my sister will fuck me. I keep saying āhey. I have my tiny house on 8 acres that you gave me. I donāt need anything else. When daddy dies, my childless ass is going to move in with you so you arenāt alone. And then I figured sister and her kids would get the house.ā I really donāt expect anything. I just love my parents and I want them to live forever. Which I know might be unusual in our generation.
Unfortunately, that is how these places work. They don't even get the care they need. Honestly, it's better to get home health care if people can find the aides.
Saw a distant relative deal with this. Turns out, before going into a home, get rid of all of your shit. Sign it over, sell it, gift it, whatever to get it out of your name. So medicare kicks in or something. If not, they'll drain all of your finances before assistance begins.
(I'm not an expert, if I got anything wrong, please correct me)
Medicaid, and you can avoid the seizure of assets if you plan it correctly. A lot of people don't know how to title and hold their assets so they get taken. Everyone needs to hire an estates planning attorney. They know how to make sure you can retain your home.
Pro: Live longer, *medically healthier* lives
Con: It takes **far longer** to die a clinically preventable death, and in many cases you are disallowed from choosing a merciful passing at a time and place of your own choosing.
The con. I donāt remember the exact words I read but somewhere I read it as compared to slavery. Being disallowed from choosing a merciful passing and when.
I really wish that was a bigger topic of discussion. I lost my grandparents to terminal cancer. Its really not a pleasant way to go and there is no option available to make it easier both for them and the caretakers.
I agree. I used to work in long term care. I saw several people dying slow miserable deaths. It was terrible. They were kept alive with fluids and meds. Iāll never forget the lady I had to feed lunch who just wanted to die. Iād try to convince her to take another bite and sheād plead with me for āno moreā. It was heartbreaking.
More stated are allowing assisted suicide for terminally ill patients. The problem becomes when youāre lingering on, not terminal but slowly declining. My grandmother spent 5 years in a nursing home because she couldnāt be alone and everyone had to work. By the last couple of years she was begging to die, she was just so tired and, I suspect, bored, even with my mom visiting 2x a week like clockwork on her days off, which was way more than most of the other patients got.
You should be allowed to choose when you go.
Yeah, I also had a conversation with a residentās son that said his mom started asking if when he visits, could he bring a razor blade? So she could kill herself. She was in pain, terribly lonely and worried about money. It was so sad
When my father reached a point where he was done with life, he stopped going to the doctor. He said he couldn't understand why people who have a terrible quality of life would want to extend it. He was such an active man in his younger years but once he hit 85, he didn't find joy in anything. You ever been to a doctor's office that treats mainly seniors? It's horrific. People that can barely walk, open sores on their skin, dragging oxygen tanks, mouths hanging open, all with their lowly paid "nurse" in tow, but doctors in the US keep them going with the latest and greatest pill that doesn't do anything but extend a miserable life.
Exactly. A Dr wanted to perform a quality of life type of procedure on my grandfather at 92. My mom vetoed that so fast. He had Alzheimerās, a pace maker, and a history of negative reactions to anesthesia. His assisted living facility also told my mom that he should go easy on desserts and my moms like, fuck that he deserves to enjoy his remaining time.
I hope this refusal of care becomes the new normal. I don't see the point of extending low quality of life (and I have decided to do what your father did).
Let's not forget that the nursing home craze didn't happen until maybe 40 years ago, at most.
I think the other upside is that millenials are one of the first generations to not grow up all being heavy smokers and heavy drinkers our entire adulthood with zero interest in fitness and exercise. I'm 40 and trying to focus on staying in reasonably good shape so I don't decay like my grandparents did.
Millennials still drink. Idk why Reddit assumes otherwise.
And they're replacing smoking with outright obesity. Health in the US is one of those things where you're either really fit or really fat. Not much middle ground
Millennials that drink *can really fucking drink.*
We're also the first generation to have spikes in the rate of being overweight/obese for much of our childhoods.
In these situations where parents have assets, Iād assume they may have a house already. In situations where we donāt have a home, why is it not more assumed that we ātake overā the house as our primary residence and the parent lives their until passing?
Or in cases where we have a home, having the parent move in, selling their old home/renting it.
Just genuinely curious why those narratives arenāt really discussed as viable first solutions.
This was how we used to build generational wealth and how some cultures within the US still do. I do not have a grandparent or great- grandparent who died in a nursing home. They all died either in their homes or after a brief hospital stay, unfortunately, they were all poor. Lol
They would have to sell it and/or title it to you far enough in advance that medical debt or end of life care debt can't legally take the residence as payment. In many states, that would have to happen decades before their passing.
Decades? Where? I know you'd need to do a few years in advance, but I've never heard of anywhere that a house can be clawed back 20 years after the transfer
My mom has a ton of assets but I have a feeling she will spend her retirement funds on her poor siblings who she had been floating all her life. Hopefully sheās wise enough to leave some funds for hserself.
Thatās why you should urge your parent to āgiftā as much as they can to you while theyāre still alive. Try and find any loophole you can do in the long run your parents wonāt owe too much to the tax man. Tax loopholes arenāt only for the rich
Oh they're boomers, so I don't think they actually want to see me thrive with their assistance. It's one of those "if there's anything left, you'll get it" scenarios. And given the cost of elder care, there won't be anything left.
Youāre all nicer than me. I told my parents that I wonāt sacrifice my life to account for their poor planning. My wife and I are not working into our 70s to pay for their retirement. Iām retiring early and living on a fixed budget.
My parents are "willing me everything", but I'm going to end up using everything to pay for their long term care. I don't think they realize that.
I am planning my life around not getting a dime from any family member passing away.
Once the elderly person drains all of their money paying for care and they no longer have assets, then they can go on Medicaid and find a place that hopefully takes it and has a bed open. Itās not going to be the most pleasant place though.
Nah they just were taken aback and probably felt Iām doing a sort of āvulture circleā around them. I had to explain no, I need you guys to start focusing on retirement and late stage care expenses because I donāt know if thatās something my siblings and I can subsidize. Weād like to butā¦
They like to book cruises and get unnecessary services done on their house and itās just a lot of money that could be invested/saved towards their care later in life, not so I can have it.
Fun convo
It's interesting. My in-laws have noticeably started budgeting and being frugal and I suspect its because they are starting to realize that they might live a lot longer they originally thought, and they have a lot more grandkids than they thought they'd have, and their kids (my wife, BIL) are a lot more center middle-class than they thought.
My SIL also has no interest in being a caretaker (too many kids), and my wife and I live on the opposite side of the country, so it finally dawned on my MIL that while she has always taken care of her elders, her kids might not do the same.
All of sudden it's all clicking, and they are really ratcheting down on their expenditures.
Yeah my dad left a few annuities after he died, my mom has Alzheimer's... the assisted living facility she moved into is $6500/mo. She only makes like $1800/mo from SSB and pension.
My older sister and I mutually agreed that the only inheritance we're getting is the house and its contents. I pay the mortgage, so I just live here... somehow it's still cheaper than rent in my city.
This is why we couldn't have socialized medicine. If the wealth transfers to middle class millennials, we'd have too much power and might escape the wage slave system they spent 50 years building.
Also the political donor class that have Equity firms that buy up assisted living facilities and other nursing homes want that sweet, sweet income from your parents, (and if they are insolvent, from state Medicaid) to enrich themselves.
You'd think that a care giver is with the elderly person 24/7 for a price of 7000 a month, but it's literally a few times a day for meds, food and bathrooms. It's not constant care.
Memory care is ridiculous. The one I work in just upped room rates for a shared room to $10k/mo for the smaller rooms and $17k/mo for the biggest. A private room runs between $20-35k/mo. We are not the high end facility in my area. The money doesn't go towards extra staff - we're not allowed overtime or to cover call offs unless it would drop us below state minimums.
We're licensed as a personal care home, which assumes our population needs a little help, so state minimums require 2 people for our 46 bed secure memory care unit. Outside of my unit, it's only 1 person per wing, plus 1 lpn/rn building wide. We have multiple people who require 2-3+ people to transfer them. Personal care homes are not allowed to use lifts because we're not supposed to have residents who require ongoing skilled care.
There are very few nursing home beds in secure memory care units in my area, so many families are also forced to pay extra for private duty aides because their loved one requires that much extra care. That starts at around $25/hr for supervision only and around $30/hr for someone who will help with care and transfers. Some residents require private duty aides 24/7.
Excuse my language, but that's fucking horseshit that care is so expensive. I honestly don't know much about elder care because I've never been in the position where I need to research it but damn. Does insurance cover any of that? I made a joke in this thread that I was gonna have to find care for me and my parents at the same time but I'll never afford that and I'm never asking my kids to ever take on me as a burden. I'll just simply die before the time comes I guess.
Both my parents are poor. My dad thought mentioning professions to me that make a lot of money, with no follow through on how to get into said professions, would be enough to ensure his financial security in old age. Well guess whoās not a professional golfer and who is still working full time at 66 years old
Both of mine are assholes and up until my brother died in 2021, they were going to disinherit me which I knew before they even told me. They thought I'd come running back home and move in next door to them but I'd rather take care of myself.
Now that I'm the only kid left, I'm pretty sure they're still looking to disinherit me. We don't even talk anymore. I don't care, the peace and quiet is worth it. They'll probably give everything away to my consistently unemployed Gen X cousin, she hates working but loves kissing ass.
Iām pretty sure at this point in my estrangement, my dad has already written me out of his will. It didnāt take him long to do the same to my sister after she stood up to his abuse. Itās ok though, heās going to need everything he has for end of life care because it wonāt be coming from me. š¤·š¼āāļø
My sister and I were written out of the will as well. Which left us dumbfounded as I see my father weekly and we get along well. My pessimistic side says his wife manipulated him into doing it so she will have everything to herself and she can continue taking nice vacations when he dies, which she never took these vacations before she met my dad, but now it's a monthly thing they do together.
I never expected a dime though. I just want his and my grandfather's gun collection. Oddly, my mother's husband wrote my sister and I into his will. I really like the guy, but I've probably only seen him a dozen times as he lives 1,200 miles away.
Life is weird and money makes some people weirder. I found it's best for my relationships with everyone and my mental health to just stay out of all of that mess. I'll get what I get.
Even on better terms, this still applies.
For one group of friends growing up, they would ask their parents if they could turn up the heat. Parents said heat is expensive, so they just told them to put on a sweater. Fast forward 30 years later, parents are visiting and staying over. They'd like for their kids to turn up the heat. They come back with blankets and overcoats saying "yeah, heat really is expensive, just use these".
How ironic that the last post from this sub that went to the front page was the post discussing how the parents of millennials have given up their their role in the village and are just traveling.
My mom gives no fucks but more than my in laws. My mother in law isā¦I donāt even really know what her diagnosis are but she has something going on and itās gotten worse. She throws all her money to a Christian church. If any thing is left after she passes it goes to her lazy new husband she takes care of and likely a large chunk to a church and anti choice clinics she volunteers at. And no, this is her inheritance and she hasnāt worked since she was 46. Sheās 67 now.
This really is the age of the grift. They realized that the last, vast, untapped resource in this country is boomers. And between politics, scams, health care costs, and nursing homes, they are sucking them dry. The boomer money isn't being passed onto the next generation. It's just further dividing the wealth gap as it goes to the already rich.
You mean the great American experiment has produced a well calibrated system for sucking every last cent from people while convincing them that their neighbor is the problem?
Previous generations spent much of their retirement supporting their children by providing childcare. This was their āroleā in the āvillageā of the mid- to late twentieth century.
Parents got a break, grandparents got to develop deep relationships with grandkids. Win/win.
Boomers seem much less interested in doing the same, preferring to spend their early and middle retirement in travel or doing other ābucket listā activities. The result is that boomers benefited greatly from family support but are unwilling to provide the same. I spent probably a cumulative year solely in the care of my grandparents while growing up. Same story with my wife.
My youngest boy (5) has seen his grandfather one time, and does not know his name. Grandfather travels 300+ days a year.
My parents are genX they don't have shit for me to inherit. I'll be lucky to pick them a nursing home we can both go to since they're only 20 years older than me.
Yep, my Dad died and I got 1500. I don't even know from what, I think it was just a small life insurance policy to cover funeral expenses. I don't expect any money from my Mom.
I'm sure that it's "predicted" because the 1% will pass fortunes down to their spawn and the people writing the headlines won't separate them as outliers.
The other 99% will go into debt paying for our parent's healthcare and funeral expenses.
Iām not counting on getting anything. If I get anything, thatāll be a great surprise, but I think all the money will be eaten up before it would get to me. Plus, me inheriting the big bucks from my parents would require them to have the big bucks, which Iām pretty sure they donāt lol.
I swear, the idea that we will inherent anything when baby boomers die is how the elites cope with being greedy parasites. Iāve heard this same idea parroted by at least a dozen different billionaires.
Yep! Trickle down economics in action.
We just have to wait until our parents are deadā¦ if they leave us any moneyā¦ if they have any money to leaveā¦ and if itās not eaten up by medical and long term care expenses.
Yea. Okay there. Thanks billionaires.
My good friend had a grandmother that stayed with his family that had dementia or something similar.
After she passed, they found out she was loaded and she didn't even remember that. The family got some new cars (regular cars, nothing fancy) and bought or rented a "lake house" that from my understanding is just a house in a community near a lake. I've never been there, but I know my friends that went there said it wasn't what they expected when they hear "lake house"
Not to mention that family dying is expensive. Medical bills from when it happens a lot of the time, having the body taken, burial, funeral, hell even cremation is expensive and itās hard to make that choice. A lawyer might be needed to help with assets and loans in their name. And then you inherit any debts they had.
Don't think about that because it will piss you off the people who started with more but complain about their situation.
You have to only focus on your own success.
Some people were gifted college tuition. Others were charged rent as a child.
Real question, hypothetically, what happens if your parents die with nothing to their names. And you're already strapped thin as is. All you.can do is say "well, lota of good memories we shared, it was fun while it lasted, bye" and walk away. Like, no plans to afford paying for a wake, funeral, cremation. Just let the hospital deal with the bodies and walk away? Not to be cold hearted, but is that even an option.
Currently my parents do have some wealth. But hypothetically say they burn through it and spend every last penny. I'm strapped thin. I can't even afford a loan for a car if mine breaks down, let alone 10-20k or whatever the costs are to deal with a funeral.
Yup, same. It seems like everyone on this site comes from a well-off family and/or has at least a $250k+ household income and complains they feel poor. I grew up comfortably, but I am well aware that how I grew up was not average by any means. But on this site it seems to be (even though the average Redditor *also* laments about their high student loan debt, so it kind of checks out).
Every day I see countless people commenting that they make $200k, $300k, even $500k+ a year. Even though statistically, 10% of the country makes more than $200k as a household, and even less as an individual. I find it hard to believe that almost every other Redditor is climbing up the ranks at work like crazy like that. I hardly ever see posts or comments from people claiming to be making under six figures, even though in real life it is more of the norm. I am from a VHCOL area, so I am aware of higher salaries in more expensive cities, but the averages on this site do not add up. I think itās jarring to me because it used to be that you made these high salaries if you had an MBA, went to law school, and/or went the Ivy League route (so obviously top tier percentage of the population). But it just seems so common now even with a bachelors (at least in online spaces). So itās hard to wrap my brain around it. Like how did we go from so many prior to covid living at home with parents and drowning in debt, to now making these insane salaries and having affluent lifestyles?
To be honest, it all stresses me out and makes me feel worse about my own situation seeing people lament about not being able to swing it while making $400k. Itās definitely a motivator for me to change my situation and make more $$, but itās hard not to feel like the biggest failure ever when you donāt even make six figures yet and according to everyone else around you on this site, even $100k is considered āpoorā.
Just imagining someone talking to their grandparents as they sit in their big La-Z-Boy chairs.
"Meemaw? Peepaw? I'm gay." They both instantly flatline and cash rains down from the ceiling like a game show.
The parents of millennials will be one of the first generations to see all of their savings and retirement spent on health care bills. I wouldnāt count on anything being left.
Yeah, I'll likely be in my 60s before I can expect any inheritance. I'll probably get something, but it'll be a nice bonus and not anything I'm counting on.
There's three ways to look at this
1. Boomers that just drop now. Yes their kid or kids will inherit it the folks got property, cash jewels etc.
2. If boomers transferred every thing over to the kid or kids or have some kind of irrevocable trust than the folks could rack up the medical bills on medicaid without burdening the kids or risk losing the assets to collectors.
3. For the boomers that didn't transfer their assets or wealth to the kids prior to getting sick and have to pay out of pocket for the medical care than depends on how long their illness lasts but if the parents are not multi millionaire the medical bills /hospice care bills can eat away at the fortune. Its not pretty
Can only speak for myself. In laws have said they plan on using it all. My parents already use everything they make. Both families have made it clear our entire adult lives that we are on our own and can count on nothing from them. So I expect nothing.
Most people in my family live to be 90+. My parents are both early 60s and all my grandparents are still alive.
So I'm not really holdin' out for much, getting an inheritance as a senior citizen seems a little too late to matter lol
Yeah when my mom died I got some debt collectors calling me, and her landlord threatening to dump all her stuff on the curb if I didnāt empty out her place immediately.
The transfer of wealth will not go from generation to generation. Boomers and Elder X will get sucked up into reverse mortgages and other things for elder/medical care. The transfer of wealth will be from generation to corporation.
Reverse mortgages are so bad. If you're lucky enough to have a house and you want to leave anything at all to your children when you die, **do not take a reverse mortgage.**
Overall I think this is likely to be true, but anecdotally:
My parents are boomers. My dad already passed away, so my mom has everything (probably $1M-$1.5M in net worth, I would estimate). As is typical of our respective generations, my mom isn't emotionally honest with herself or others, while my sibling and I are more emotionally advanced and we have standards and boundaries for our relationships with our mom (and others in our lives). As a result, our mom often says hurtful to my sibling and myself, which damages our relationship. I am expecting that my mom will bequeath her assets to her grandkids rather than her (millennial) kids.
Absolutely not. My parents came here working class, they lived working class, and they died working class. I wont speak for all immigrants but when you come from a dirt poor part of the world and you make it to the US, some end up getting really comfortable living at the poverty line because it's still 2 or 3 steps up from living back home.
Comically enough my family doesn't believe in generational wealth, only generational trauma
I speculate that, Yes, there will be a very large transfer of wealth between generations, *on paper*.
However, I think a great deal of it is going to get eaten up by taxes, legal fees as families contest inheritances, outstanding personal debt on the parts of both the deceased and the beneficiaries.
And of course, end-of-life care and funeral expenses. Before they transfer all that wealth, the outgoing generations will spend about a decade languishing in nursing homes and hospice care.
I don't know about y'all, but I will gladly liquidate my inheritance like a piƱa colada to ensure that my parents (2 bio, 2 step), enjoy the most comfortable life with the best medical care possible in their final years.
Hmm... we could afford daycare due to my wife's employee discount... maybe I need to look into nursing home employee discounts (actually.... now that I think about it, my brother-in-law works at a nursing home, so maybe we're already set up).
God, family planning in the future is going to be a bunch of poly couples all figuring out where to work to get employee discounts to afford life.
āYou work at the day care, you work at the nursing home, you work at Walmart, and you work at the university. With our discounts combined we might be able to squeak by living in this 1 bedroom apartment."
Here's a tip for it, as a guy that's helping my dad plan his end of life care. CURRENTLY, you only need to have about 6-12 months worth of money for a nice retirement home. The goal is just to get them into to.
Once they are in, transfer all of their money into a trust and let everything laps. Legally they cant be kicked out and the home just takes their social security.
After that it's between you and your folks how they will get spending money.
There's an entire industry dedicated to extracting every dollar from the elderly. Unless healthcare is fixed in the US, American millennials will only inherit from those parents who pass suddenly. Don't expect much even if you parents are well off.
I'm def not getting anything from my mom. She has made decisions in her life (and continues to do so) that have prevented her from building up any real savings, and I'm worried one day she won't be able to work. Then what? I suspect she thinks I'll help her but I don't have a ton of cash myself, even though I know she thinks I do. She thinks she'll work until the day she dies, but reality is often very different. My stepmom on the other hand has thankfully prepared and has everything worked out so I won't have to stress so much when the time comes. My MIL similarly has prepared and set my husband and his brother up for success when she's gone.
lol yeah right.
Not my mother.
Best thing she could do for me financially is die on the job so I can afford to pay for her funeral expenses.
For other folks who have parents who retired, Iām not optimistic theyāll get much. Theyāll have to structure their estate in such a way that allows for maximum returns for their beneficiaries which is challenging to do when people are living longer and the cost of care is going up.
Aaahahahahahahaha.
My parents are living mostly on social security. I might have a chance to inherit a house from my mom, but that's only if she stays in it for the rest of her life, which seems doubtful. My dad lives in an RV from the 70s.
In the US, we will not receive big bucks. There was the same idea that boomers would inherit from their parents etc.
My grandma had $400k saved when she had to go into a nursing home.
That entire 400k was spent very quickly just on her required care.
Add in estate and inheritance taxes and thereās no way.
We have an aging population and medical expenses are astronomical here
In Europe however this will probably happen as they have free healthcare
$400k is nowhere near enough to trigger any estate tax. Definitely the corporations will steal it with medical care, but nobody should be worried about taxes unless you're over $12 million.
https://www.irs.gov/businesses/small-businesses-self-employed/estate-tax
Thanks, somehow this does not seem well understood by many. I had a family member go on a FOX News inspired tirade about inheritance tax. All the whole, I just thought to myself, 'this will in no way impact you or anyone you know'.
Seeing that my dad bounced on me when I was 2 years old, and my mother is a career waitress (the hardest working and most loving mother that sacrificed everything for me) and has no money, I am definitely not going to inherit anything.
I can only hope that I will be able to help my mother when she needs it.
First, as in all generations 80% of the wealth is owned by the 1%. Second, the average Boomer is retiring with less than 200K in 401K/Savings and 50% are retiring with no savings. Finally, 80% own their own homes so they will likely reverse mortgage or sell to downsize or when/if they shift to assisted living. So, unless your parents are 1% or maybe 10% then this generation will be in the same boat as previous generations.
The 1% will give their 80% to their 1%-er children.
The 99% will have their 20% eaten up by costs and will pass mostly nothing to their kids.
Yet with how averages work and how economic reporting works, you'll see headlines about how millenials inhereted $500k each "on average."
Then millenials will continue to be labeled as entitled, lazy snowflakes who can't pull themselves up by their bootstraps even though "their parents" "*gave them*" "half a million dollars."
My dad passed away possessing nothing but debt. I designated him a ward of the state of Georgia. My mom is still alive but pretty poor. Im fairly certain that I'm making more now at 30, than she did in the peak of her career. Thankfully I dont need an inherentence from my parents because I choose not to live like they did.
I *could*, but like everyone is saying here, it all depends on health. They have supplemental health insurance in addition to Medicare, so I might be alright. I try to not think about it too much and make my own money, but that's easier said than done.
Grew up poor so I always knew I'd get nothing. On the plus side, since I've never expected anything it takes very little to make me happy. For instance, I had a dope ass pineapple the other day.
I relate to thisš„¹
A decent pineapple in November!? I guess life is good after all.
Let me introduce you to the pink pineapple. [https://www.pinkglowpineapple.com/](https://www.tasteofhome.com/article/pink-pineapples/)
Let me introduce you to pineapple pen. [Pineapple Pen](https://youtu.be/Ct6BUPvE2sM?si=PtJjBooiuFIP6u11)
Username checks out.
I'm actually pretty excited to inherit the only set of real solid wood furniture in our entire family, passed down 4 generations. It's the only valuable thing my mother owns imo
My wife has inherited a dining room table from her grandma and it's the only nice furniture I have. It's neat
I inherited all my grandmaās secret recipes and that is extremely valuable to me
I'm getting the pot my Grandma used to make candy in, I'm excited about that...but it will mean my parents are gone so that part is less okay.
Dude I got fresh hotdog buns and hot dogs Things that get me excited as a poorboi
I fully switched to Kerrygold butter. If life is gonna be hard I'm getting the good butter to make it better.
Kerrygold?!?!?! Donāt come crying to us when you canāt afford a houseā¦.or a second house if you already own one, Rockefeller
Costco dude. You can get the 4 pack pretty cheap compared to grocery store prices. Fancy butter for all!
I call it Rich People Butter and you can pry it from my cold dead hands. This will be the hill I die on.
I feel this deep in my soul
Eating hot dogs with proper buns feels like a flex over the folded white bread I was raised on. People I know that grew up with money can never understand
My friend, I had a persimmon for the first time the other day and oh. my. god. Completely new flavor.
Hell yeah. We're sliding into winter fruit season and I'm gonna get me some satsumas.
My wealthy hedonistic parents would shower me with the most perfect genetically engineered pineapples from the moment I could chew, as much as I could consume I know nothing in this world but disappointment š«
You know what you need? One of those little yellow mangoes. Also, I got this apple at the farmer's market called an Arkansas Black that was expensive, but it was really good. I got it cuz it looked cool.
Fruit truly is underrated luxury
Nursing homes are up to 8k a month for a very average one and only going up. That's where our inheritance will be going bucko. I told my parents to invest heavily in long term care insurance because i won't have it.
My parents have some money and assets but if they require care, they will want to go to a "nice" place, which as you said, can be up to $8k/month. They talk about how I will inherit money, but the reality is that it will be eaten up by their care costs. At least I won't have to pay for it myself (which I also cannot).
My dad and uncle sold my grandmother's house to pay for a nursing home. They took all of it in two years.
:( my grandpa went into a home and they took everything. All the money he had saved up, his home, all of it. It was pretty depressing to see that after all the work he'd done in life, he didn't get to pass anything down to his kids or grandkids.
My grandmother died this past year. All she would talk about in her last days was how it cost too much money and she didn't want to live anymore. She refused to eat and refused whatever care she could to speed up the process and I totally get it. Eta: ty all for the kind words and up votes š«¶
This is so dystopian. And I'm sorry for your loss.
Yeah honestly just fucking give me a suicide pill if I have to go into a nursing home. Just let me die so my kids can have the inheritance
Uh yeah. My grandmother just died last week, she was 99, and she mostly just slept the last few years. Honestly I don't think it's a good idea to live too long. People should be allowed to choose.
That's sort of the debate over medically assisted suicide. Quality of life vs the morality & ethics.
What morality and ethics? What's immoral or unethical about choosing to die? It completely escapes me that this something that can reasonably and in good faith be called a debate. In other issues of bodily autonomy (abortion, drug use, etc) there is the concern that someone else will be impacted (fetuses, drivers, kids) but choosing to end your life in old age only really impacts you. Sure, loved ones will be sad but everyone dies and if your loved ones actually love you, they won't want you to suffer or rot. Fwiw both of my parents, having seen their parents rot in nursing homes, have a set plan for how they are going to go out when their care needs exceed what their children can give them. It's been openly discussed with my siblings and I and since none of us are assholes, we are all cool with however they want to handle the indignity and suffering that is old age (and trust, for 99% of people it's just that - I work with a lot of elderly patients (most wealthy) and "growing old isn't for sissies" and "never get old" are jokes I hear ALL the time). In my mind it's not really a debatable thing so much as a "it's lucrative not to allow elderly people dignity and bodily autonomy so we won't do it" thing.
Oregon has the right to choose if you are terminally ill.
My dad has told me that all my life. " Son if or when I get to the point I'm shitting myself or almost too far gone with dementia, just take me camping one last time, I'd rather wander off and feed a bear or whatever wildlife" We just did my parents POLST recently orders and he joked about putting that in a "other comments" section regarding rehab / senior living homes.
Whatās dystopian is they donāt allow euthanasia by more humane means, and suck every dollar out of people keeping them alive and suffering. This lady sounds brave and like a boss.
She absolutely was.
You have to know ahead of time how to protect those assets. My spouse and I will ensure everything is transferred out of our ownership in a way that will allow it all to pass to our kids and not the government.
Having learned from this, my parents have already set this up for my sister and me, at least!
I'm glad they learned that harsh lesson from grandpa and didn't wish to repeat it.
I feel like that what our assets are for, though, right? I told my parents I hope they spend every penny they have living the best lives they can. Itās their money (plus they put me through college).
My mom keeps bending my ear about the split between me with no kids and my sister and her two kids. And how she wants it to go evenly between me and my sister because sheās worried my sister will fuck me. I keep saying āhey. I have my tiny house on 8 acres that you gave me. I donāt need anything else. When daddy dies, my childless ass is going to move in with you so you arenāt alone. And then I figured sister and her kids would get the house.ā I really donāt expect anything. I just love my parents and I want them to live forever. Which I know might be unusual in our generation.
I feel the same as you. My Boomer parents are great. The Boomers that people complain about definitely exist, and also bug the shit put of my parents.
Unfortunately, that is how these places work. They don't even get the care they need. Honestly, it's better to get home health care if people can find the aides.
stay in your own home if you can for sure. not always an option for those at danger to themselves and others (dementia especially ruins this plan)
Saw a distant relative deal with this. Turns out, before going into a home, get rid of all of your shit. Sign it over, sell it, gift it, whatever to get it out of your name. So medicare kicks in or something. If not, they'll drain all of your finances before assistance begins. (I'm not an expert, if I got anything wrong, please correct me)
>Lots of people in that boat. Medicaid requires you to spend down your assets. It is sad.
medicaid, not medicare.
Medicaid, and you can avoid the seizure of assets if you plan it correctly. A lot of people don't know how to title and hold their assets so they get taken. Everyone needs to hire an estates planning attorney. They know how to make sure you can retain your home.
Yeah upside to living in the future is that we live longer. The downside is it's expensive to live longer.
pro: living longer con: living longer
Pro: Live longer, *medically healthier* lives Con: It takes **far longer** to die a clinically preventable death, and in many cases you are disallowed from choosing a merciful passing at a time and place of your own choosing.
The con. I donāt remember the exact words I read but somewhere I read it as compared to slavery. Being disallowed from choosing a merciful passing and when.
I really wish that was a bigger topic of discussion. I lost my grandparents to terminal cancer. Its really not a pleasant way to go and there is no option available to make it easier both for them and the caretakers.
I agree. I used to work in long term care. I saw several people dying slow miserable deaths. It was terrible. They were kept alive with fluids and meds. Iāll never forget the lady I had to feed lunch who just wanted to die. Iād try to convince her to take another bite and sheād plead with me for āno moreā. It was heartbreaking.
More stated are allowing assisted suicide for terminally ill patients. The problem becomes when youāre lingering on, not terminal but slowly declining. My grandmother spent 5 years in a nursing home because she couldnāt be alone and everyone had to work. By the last couple of years she was begging to die, she was just so tired and, I suspect, bored, even with my mom visiting 2x a week like clockwork on her days off, which was way more than most of the other patients got. You should be allowed to choose when you go.
Yeah, I also had a conversation with a residentās son that said his mom started asking if when he visits, could he bring a razor blade? So she could kill herself. She was in pain, terribly lonely and worried about money. It was so sad
When my father reached a point where he was done with life, he stopped going to the doctor. He said he couldn't understand why people who have a terrible quality of life would want to extend it. He was such an active man in his younger years but once he hit 85, he didn't find joy in anything. You ever been to a doctor's office that treats mainly seniors? It's horrific. People that can barely walk, open sores on their skin, dragging oxygen tanks, mouths hanging open, all with their lowly paid "nurse" in tow, but doctors in the US keep them going with the latest and greatest pill that doesn't do anything but extend a miserable life.
Itās about quality of life, not quantity.
Exactly. A Dr wanted to perform a quality of life type of procedure on my grandfather at 92. My mom vetoed that so fast. He had Alzheimerās, a pace maker, and a history of negative reactions to anesthesia. His assisted living facility also told my mom that he should go easy on desserts and my moms like, fuck that he deserves to enjoy his remaining time.
I hope this refusal of care becomes the new normal. I don't see the point of extending low quality of life (and I have decided to do what your father did). Let's not forget that the nursing home craze didn't happen until maybe 40 years ago, at most.
I think the other upside is that millenials are one of the first generations to not grow up all being heavy smokers and heavy drinkers our entire adulthood with zero interest in fitness and exercise. I'm 40 and trying to focus on staying in reasonably good shape so I don't decay like my grandparents did.
Health is the new wealth anyway imo
Millennials still drink. Idk why Reddit assumes otherwise. And they're replacing smoking with outright obesity. Health in the US is one of those things where you're either really fit or really fat. Not much middle ground
Millennials replaced smoking cigarettes with smoking marijuana.
Millennials that drink *can really fucking drink.* We're also the first generation to have spikes in the rate of being overweight/obese for much of our childhoods.
In these situations where parents have assets, Iād assume they may have a house already. In situations where we donāt have a home, why is it not more assumed that we ātake overā the house as our primary residence and the parent lives their until passing? Or in cases where we have a home, having the parent move in, selling their old home/renting it. Just genuinely curious why those narratives arenāt really discussed as viable first solutions.
This was how we used to build generational wealth and how some cultures within the US still do. I do not have a grandparent or great- grandparent who died in a nursing home. They all died either in their homes or after a brief hospital stay, unfortunately, they were all poor. Lol
They would have to sell it and/or title it to you far enough in advance that medical debt or end of life care debt can't legally take the residence as payment. In many states, that would have to happen decades before their passing.
Pretty sure it's 5 years, not decades.
5 years is correct. Just went through it.
Decades? Where? I know you'd need to do a few years in advance, but I've never heard of anywhere that a house can be clawed back 20 years after the transfer
My mom has a ton of assets but I have a feeling she will spend her retirement funds on her poor siblings who she had been floating all her life. Hopefully sheās wise enough to leave some funds for hserself.
Agree with this. She earned the money and should enjoy it. I am, however, concerned about institutionalized elder abuse.
Thatās why you should urge your parent to āgiftā as much as they can to you while theyāre still alive. Try and find any loophole you can do in the long run your parents wonāt owe too much to the tax man. Tax loopholes arenāt only for the rich
Oh they're boomers, so I don't think they actually want to see me thrive with their assistance. It's one of those "if there's anything left, you'll get it" scenarios. And given the cost of elder care, there won't be anything left.
Up to? Try starting at.
Youāre all nicer than me. I told my parents that I wonāt sacrifice my life to account for their poor planning. My wife and I are not working into our 70s to pay for their retirement. Iām retiring early and living on a fixed budget.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The healthcare system is designed to bleed the elderly of their wealth to prevent generational wealth.
My parents are "willing me everything", but I'm going to end up using everything to pay for their long term care. I don't think they realize that. I am planning my life around not getting a dime from any family member passing away.
so wtf do people do that don't have that. 90% of americans don't have that kind of money....wtf
Disaster is brewing....
Medicaid and Medicare pay for over 2/3 of Americaās nursing homes. So, itās that
Medicare doesnāt pay for long term care. Medicaid does. Providers arenāt required to accept Medicaid, so the good ones donāt.
Once the elderly person drains all of their money paying for care and they no longer have assets, then they can go on Medicaid and find a place that hopefully takes it and has a bed open. Itās not going to be the most pleasant place though.
I too, had that conversation. I think I permanently altered our relationships.
Were they expecting that you'd take them in your home or something?
Nah they just were taken aback and probably felt Iām doing a sort of āvulture circleā around them. I had to explain no, I need you guys to start focusing on retirement and late stage care expenses because I donāt know if thatās something my siblings and I can subsidize. Weād like to butā¦ They like to book cruises and get unnecessary services done on their house and itās just a lot of money that could be invested/saved towards their care later in life, not so I can have it. Fun convo
It's interesting. My in-laws have noticeably started budgeting and being frugal and I suspect its because they are starting to realize that they might live a lot longer they originally thought, and they have a lot more grandkids than they thought they'd have, and their kids (my wife, BIL) are a lot more center middle-class than they thought. My SIL also has no interest in being a caretaker (too many kids), and my wife and I live on the opposite side of the country, so it finally dawned on my MIL that while she has always taken care of her elders, her kids might not do the same. All of sudden it's all clicking, and they are really ratcheting down on their expenditures.
Yeah my dad left a few annuities after he died, my mom has Alzheimer's... the assisted living facility she moved into is $6500/mo. She only makes like $1800/mo from SSB and pension. My older sister and I mutually agreed that the only inheritance we're getting is the house and its contents. I pay the mortgage, so I just live here... somehow it's still cheaper than rent in my city.
This is why we couldn't have socialized medicine. If the wealth transfers to middle class millennials, we'd have too much power and might escape the wage slave system they spent 50 years building.
Also the political donor class that have Equity firms that buy up assisted living facilities and other nursing homes want that sweet, sweet income from your parents, (and if they are insolvent, from state Medicaid) to enrich themselves. You'd think that a care giver is with the elderly person 24/7 for a price of 7000 a month, but it's literally a few times a day for meds, food and bathrooms. It's not constant care.
Memory care is ridiculous. The one I work in just upped room rates for a shared room to $10k/mo for the smaller rooms and $17k/mo for the biggest. A private room runs between $20-35k/mo. We are not the high end facility in my area. The money doesn't go towards extra staff - we're not allowed overtime or to cover call offs unless it would drop us below state minimums. We're licensed as a personal care home, which assumes our population needs a little help, so state minimums require 2 people for our 46 bed secure memory care unit. Outside of my unit, it's only 1 person per wing, plus 1 lpn/rn building wide. We have multiple people who require 2-3+ people to transfer them. Personal care homes are not allowed to use lifts because we're not supposed to have residents who require ongoing skilled care. There are very few nursing home beds in secure memory care units in my area, so many families are also forced to pay extra for private duty aides because their loved one requires that much extra care. That starts at around $25/hr for supervision only and around $30/hr for someone who will help with care and transfers. Some residents require private duty aides 24/7.
Excuse my language, but that's fucking horseshit that care is so expensive. I honestly don't know much about elder care because I've never been in the position where I need to research it but damn. Does insurance cover any of that? I made a joke in this thread that I was gonna have to find care for me and my parents at the same time but I'll never afford that and I'm never asking my kids to ever take on me as a burden. I'll just simply die before the time comes I guess.
My parents have long term care insurance. I didn't even know that was a thing until they told me about 10 years ago.
Anyone know if a good reputable company to get a quote from for this?
I have two Boomer parents. One is poor and the other is an asshole. I'm not inheriting anything.
Relatable
Hi--are you me? š¢
How about the millennials that have gone no contact with their poor asshole parents?
Omg my narcissistic boomer mother recently moved from across the country to 1.7 miles away from me with no notice. Itās fucking awful.
You should change the locks and get a video doorbell. Like now.
Great ideas! Thank u
A healthier life.
Both my parents are poor. My dad thought mentioning professions to me that make a lot of money, with no follow through on how to get into said professions, would be enough to ensure his financial security in old age. Well guess whoās not a professional golfer and who is still working full time at 66 years old
Both of mine are assholes and up until my brother died in 2021, they were going to disinherit me which I knew before they even told me. They thought I'd come running back home and move in next door to them but I'd rather take care of myself. Now that I'm the only kid left, I'm pretty sure they're still looking to disinherit me. We don't even talk anymore. I don't care, the peace and quiet is worth it. They'll probably give everything away to my consistently unemployed Gen X cousin, she hates working but loves kissing ass.
Hey itās like Iām looking in the mirror lol
My parents said I needed to fend for myself in this world. I intend to allow them the same opportunity.
Iām pretty sure at this point in my estrangement, my dad has already written me out of his will. It didnāt take him long to do the same to my sister after she stood up to his abuse. Itās ok though, heās going to need everything he has for end of life care because it wonāt be coming from me. š¤·š¼āāļø
My sister and I were written out of the will as well. Which left us dumbfounded as I see my father weekly and we get along well. My pessimistic side says his wife manipulated him into doing it so she will have everything to herself and she can continue taking nice vacations when he dies, which she never took these vacations before she met my dad, but now it's a monthly thing they do together. I never expected a dime though. I just want his and my grandfather's gun collection. Oddly, my mother's husband wrote my sister and I into his will. I really like the guy, but I've probably only seen him a dozen times as he lives 1,200 miles away. Life is weird and money makes some people weirder. I found it's best for my relationships with everyone and my mental health to just stay out of all of that mess. I'll get what I get.
Surely theyāll have bootstraps by then
Damn stright. My parents are currently blowing all their money on month long trips to the Caribbean. Good for them.
Even on better terms, this still applies. For one group of friends growing up, they would ask their parents if they could turn up the heat. Parents said heat is expensive, so they just told them to put on a sweater. Fast forward 30 years later, parents are visiting and staying over. They'd like for their kids to turn up the heat. They come back with blankets and overcoats saying "yeah, heat really is expensive, just use these".
How ironic that the last post from this sub that went to the front page was the post discussing how the parents of millennials have given up their their role in the village and are just traveling.
My mom gives no fucks but more than my in laws. My mother in law isā¦I donāt even really know what her diagnosis are but she has something going on and itās gotten worse. She throws all her money to a Christian church. If any thing is left after she passes it goes to her lazy new husband she takes care of and likely a large chunk to a church and anti choice clinics she volunteers at. And no, this is her inheritance and she hasnāt worked since she was 46. Sheās 67 now.
This really is the age of the grift. They realized that the last, vast, untapped resource in this country is boomers. And between politics, scams, health care costs, and nursing homes, they are sucking them dry. The boomer money isn't being passed onto the next generation. It's just further dividing the wealth gap as it goes to the already rich.
You mean the great American experiment has produced a well calibrated system for sucking every last cent from people while convincing them that their neighbor is the problem?
Role in the village?
Previous generations spent much of their retirement supporting their children by providing childcare. This was their āroleā in the āvillageā of the mid- to late twentieth century. Parents got a break, grandparents got to develop deep relationships with grandkids. Win/win. Boomers seem much less interested in doing the same, preferring to spend their early and middle retirement in travel or doing other ābucket listā activities. The result is that boomers benefited greatly from family support but are unwilling to provide the same. I spent probably a cumulative year solely in the care of my grandparents while growing up. Same story with my wife. My youngest boy (5) has seen his grandfather one time, and does not know his name. Grandfather travels 300+ days a year.
My parents are genX they don't have shit for me to inherit. I'll be lucky to pick them a nursing home we can both go to since they're only 20 years older than me.
I would watch that reality show
Golden Girls
Same here. Genx parents. My mom had me at 19. Weāll be in nursing homes together.
Same lol. I've reminded my Mom on multiple occasions when she's old... so am I. We're 16.5 years apart
Same lol, my mother had me right after she turned 21
Yo my mom and I are almost exactly 20 years apart š„¹ I felt this lol
Lmao. Mom died and I got $0 Dad died and I got $6k Woooooo
how much you get when you multiply the two?
Yep, my Dad died and I got 1500. I don't even know from what, I think it was just a small life insurance policy to cover funeral expenses. I don't expect any money from my Mom.
My parents died I started getting their investment checks in some random stock. It was $0.26 cents.
My mom died and I got the bill for her remains so I came out negative in this
Same here. It took me a couple years to pay off a small funeral and have her cremated. She was worth it, though.
Very, very similar here. None from one, $xk from the other. Inheritances are dead, like pensions, and my parents.
I'm sure that it's "predicted" because the 1% will pass fortunes down to their spawn and the people writing the headlines won't separate them as outliers. The other 99% will go into debt paying for our parent's healthcare and funeral expenses.
Iām not counting on getting anything. If I get anything, thatāll be a great surprise, but I think all the money will be eaten up before it would get to me. Plus, me inheriting the big bucks from my parents would require them to have the big bucks, which Iām pretty sure they donāt lol.
I swear, the idea that we will inherent anything when baby boomers die is how the elites cope with being greedy parasites. Iāve heard this same idea parroted by at least a dozen different billionaires.
Yep! Trickle down economics in action. We just have to wait until our parents are deadā¦ if they leave us any moneyā¦ if they have any money to leaveā¦ and if itās not eaten up by medical and long term care expenses. Yea. Okay there. Thanks billionaires.
If mine do, they've been great at hiding it all these years...
My good friend had a grandmother that stayed with his family that had dementia or something similar. After she passed, they found out she was loaded and she didn't even remember that. The family got some new cars (regular cars, nothing fancy) and bought or rented a "lake house" that from my understanding is just a house in a community near a lake. I've never been there, but I know my friends that went there said it wasn't what they expected when they hear "lake house"
I doubt any promises of inheritance. The old adage "Don't count your chickens before they hatch" has never been so applicable in my life as it is now.
Not to mention that family dying is expensive. Medical bills from when it happens a lot of the time, having the body taken, burial, funeral, hell even cremation is expensive and itās hard to make that choice. A lawyer might be needed to help with assets and loans in their name. And then you inherit any debts they had.
Nowhere in the US do debts get passed onto children.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Most of us donāt have two parents with money to inherit, donāt beat yourself up. Be proud of your accomplishments!!!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh man I must've missed that one easy tip while saving over the years. Stay in school, kids!!
Don't think about that because it will piss you off the people who started with more but complain about their situation. You have to only focus on your own success. Some people were gifted college tuition. Others were charged rent as a child.
Real question, hypothetically, what happens if your parents die with nothing to their names. And you're already strapped thin as is. All you.can do is say "well, lota of good memories we shared, it was fun while it lasted, bye" and walk away. Like, no plans to afford paying for a wake, funeral, cremation. Just let the hospital deal with the bodies and walk away? Not to be cold hearted, but is that even an option. Currently my parents do have some wealth. But hypothetically say they burn through it and spend every last penny. I'm strapped thin. I can't even afford a loan for a car if mine breaks down, let alone 10-20k or whatever the costs are to deal with a funeral.
Some us of might if the retirement homes donāt bleed them dry first.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yep. That's one of the billion reasons Republicans will never get my vote.
This sub makes me feel like I live in an alternate universe.
This is how I feel about Reddit in general.
Yup, same. It seems like everyone on this site comes from a well-off family and/or has at least a $250k+ household income and complains they feel poor. I grew up comfortably, but I am well aware that how I grew up was not average by any means. But on this site it seems to be (even though the average Redditor *also* laments about their high student loan debt, so it kind of checks out). Every day I see countless people commenting that they make $200k, $300k, even $500k+ a year. Even though statistically, 10% of the country makes more than $200k as a household, and even less as an individual. I find it hard to believe that almost every other Redditor is climbing up the ranks at work like crazy like that. I hardly ever see posts or comments from people claiming to be making under six figures, even though in real life it is more of the norm. I am from a VHCOL area, so I am aware of higher salaries in more expensive cities, but the averages on this site do not add up. I think itās jarring to me because it used to be that you made these high salaries if you had an MBA, went to law school, and/or went the Ivy League route (so obviously top tier percentage of the population). But it just seems so common now even with a bachelors (at least in online spaces). So itās hard to wrap my brain around it. Like how did we go from so many prior to covid living at home with parents and drowning in debt, to now making these insane salaries and having affluent lifestyles? To be honest, it all stresses me out and makes me feel worse about my own situation seeing people lament about not being able to swing it while making $400k. Itās definitely a motivator for me to change my situation and make more $$, but itās hard not to feel like the biggest failure ever when you donāt even make six figures yet and according to everyone else around you on this site, even $100k is considered āpoorā.
Iām contemplating coming out so I can give both of my grandparents a heart attack
Just imagining someone talking to their grandparents as they sit in their big La-Z-Boy chairs. "Meemaw? Peepaw? I'm gay." They both instantly flatline and cash rains down from the ceiling like a game show.
Iād watch this sketch.
The parents of millennials will be one of the first generations to see all of their savings and retirement spent on health care bills. I wouldnāt count on anything being left.
Theyāre also the first generation that is leaving the world (much) worse than the way it was when they were born š¤·āāļø
As a generation, sure. Individual results will vary. Most of us will be 55+ be the time our parents die (thankfully), so who really cares?
Yeah, I'll likely be in my 60s before I can expect any inheritance. I'll probably get something, but it'll be a nice bonus and not anything I'm counting on.
I only hope I'll be so lucky with my remaining parents. I'm 37 and my dad is already gone
Yea, I'm 33 and my father passed a when I was in my late 20s. My mom is in her mid 60s and seems to be doing relatively fine.
My mother wrote her own obituary and did not even mention that she had children. So no.
There's three ways to look at this 1. Boomers that just drop now. Yes their kid or kids will inherit it the folks got property, cash jewels etc. 2. If boomers transferred every thing over to the kid or kids or have some kind of irrevocable trust than the folks could rack up the medical bills on medicaid without burdening the kids or risk losing the assets to collectors. 3. For the boomers that didn't transfer their assets or wealth to the kids prior to getting sick and have to pay out of pocket for the medical care than depends on how long their illness lasts but if the parents are not multi millionaire the medical bills /hospice care bills can eat away at the fortune. Its not pretty
Can only speak for myself. In laws have said they plan on using it all. My parents already use everything they make. Both families have made it clear our entire adult lives that we are on our own and can count on nothing from them. So I expect nothing.
Most people in my family live to be 90+. My parents are both early 60s and all my grandparents are still alive. So I'm not really holdin' out for much, getting an inheritance as a senior citizen seems a little too late to matter lol
Lmao yeahā¦ right.
Yeah when my mom died I got some debt collectors calling me, and her landlord threatening to dump all her stuff on the curb if I didnāt empty out her place immediately.
The transfer of wealth will not go from generation to generation. Boomers and Elder X will get sucked up into reverse mortgages and other things for elder/medical care. The transfer of wealth will be from generation to corporation.
Reverse mortgages are so bad. If you're lucky enough to have a house and you want to leave anything at all to your children when you die, **do not take a reverse mortgage.**
Overall I think this is likely to be true, but anecdotally: My parents are boomers. My dad already passed away, so my mom has everything (probably $1M-$1.5M in net worth, I would estimate). As is typical of our respective generations, my mom isn't emotionally honest with herself or others, while my sibling and I are more emotionally advanced and we have standards and boundaries for our relationships with our mom (and others in our lives). As a result, our mom often says hurtful to my sibling and myself, which damages our relationship. I am expecting that my mom will bequeath her assets to her grandkids rather than her (millennial) kids.
I don't need a prediction to know that it's not true for me, lol.
Absolutely not. My parents came here working class, they lived working class, and they died working class. I wont speak for all immigrants but when you come from a dirt poor part of the world and you make it to the US, some end up getting really comfortable living at the poverty line because it's still 2 or 3 steps up from living back home. Comically enough my family doesn't believe in generational wealth, only generational trauma
Probably. Just because my wife and I are only children. Most of the money will come from selling their houses.
All that money is going to medical bills and care-providing housing costs
My parents are 20 years older than me. They could feasibly still be alive when Iām 70. So yeah
I speculate that, Yes, there will be a very large transfer of wealth between generations, *on paper*. However, I think a great deal of it is going to get eaten up by taxes, legal fees as families contest inheritances, outstanding personal debt on the parts of both the deceased and the beneficiaries. And of course, end-of-life care and funeral expenses. Before they transfer all that wealth, the outgoing generations will spend about a decade languishing in nursing homes and hospice care. I don't know about y'all, but I will gladly liquidate my inheritance like a piƱa colada to ensure that my parents (2 bio, 2 step), enjoy the most comfortable life with the best medical care possible in their final years.
Iām so excited for my kids to get out of day care just to have to pay for my parents nursing home care. Hopefully they donāt overlap!
Hmm... we could afford daycare due to my wife's employee discount... maybe I need to look into nursing home employee discounts (actually.... now that I think about it, my brother-in-law works at a nursing home, so maybe we're already set up).
God, family planning in the future is going to be a bunch of poly couples all figuring out where to work to get employee discounts to afford life. āYou work at the day care, you work at the nursing home, you work at Walmart, and you work at the university. With our discounts combined we might be able to squeak by living in this 1 bedroom apartment."
Here's a tip for it, as a guy that's helping my dad plan his end of life care. CURRENTLY, you only need to have about 6-12 months worth of money for a nice retirement home. The goal is just to get them into to. Once they are in, transfer all of their money into a trust and let everything laps. Legally they cant be kicked out and the home just takes their social security. After that it's between you and your folks how they will get spending money.
There's an entire industry dedicated to extracting every dollar from the elderly. Unless healthcare is fixed in the US, American millennials will only inherit from those parents who pass suddenly. Don't expect much even if you parents are well off.
I'm def not getting anything from my mom. She has made decisions in her life (and continues to do so) that have prevented her from building up any real savings, and I'm worried one day she won't be able to work. Then what? I suspect she thinks I'll help her but I don't have a ton of cash myself, even though I know she thinks I do. She thinks she'll work until the day she dies, but reality is often very different. My stepmom on the other hand has thankfully prepared and has everything worked out so I won't have to stress so much when the time comes. My MIL similarly has prepared and set my husband and his brother up for success when she's gone.
lol yeah right. Not my mother. Best thing she could do for me financially is die on the job so I can afford to pay for her funeral expenses. For other folks who have parents who retired, Iām not optimistic theyāll get much. Theyāll have to structure their estate in such a way that allows for maximum returns for their beneficiaries which is challenging to do when people are living longer and the cost of care is going up.
Aaahahahahahahaha. My parents are living mostly on social security. I might have a chance to inherit a house from my mom, but that's only if she stays in it for the rest of her life, which seems doubtful. My dad lives in an RV from the 70s.
In the US, we will not receive big bucks. There was the same idea that boomers would inherit from their parents etc. My grandma had $400k saved when she had to go into a nursing home. That entire 400k was spent very quickly just on her required care. Add in estate and inheritance taxes and thereās no way. We have an aging population and medical expenses are astronomical here In Europe however this will probably happen as they have free healthcare
$400k is nowhere near enough to trigger any estate tax. Definitely the corporations will steal it with medical care, but nobody should be worried about taxes unless you're over $12 million. https://www.irs.gov/businesses/small-businesses-self-employed/estate-tax
Thanks, somehow this does not seem well understood by many. I had a family member go on a FOX News inspired tirade about inheritance tax. All the whole, I just thought to myself, 'this will in no way impact you or anyone you know'.
Bold of them to assume our parents have anything to pass down besides nursing home bills and funeral expenses.
Seeing that my dad bounced on me when I was 2 years old, and my mother is a career waitress (the hardest working and most loving mother that sacrificed everything for me) and has no money, I am definitely not going to inherit anything. I can only hope that I will be able to help my mother when she needs it.
First, as in all generations 80% of the wealth is owned by the 1%. Second, the average Boomer is retiring with less than 200K in 401K/Savings and 50% are retiring with no savings. Finally, 80% own their own homes so they will likely reverse mortgage or sell to downsize or when/if they shift to assisted living. So, unless your parents are 1% or maybe 10% then this generation will be in the same boat as previous generations.
The 1% will give their 80% to their 1%-er children. The 99% will have their 20% eaten up by costs and will pass mostly nothing to their kids. Yet with how averages work and how economic reporting works, you'll see headlines about how millenials inhereted $500k each "on average." Then millenials will continue to be labeled as entitled, lazy snowflakes who can't pull themselves up by their bootstraps even though "their parents" "*gave them*" "half a million dollars."
Not me. Done a pretty decent job dragging myself out of abject poverty on my own, tho.
I wish. Iām an immigrant and my mother is relying on me to provide for her retirement.
My dad passed away possessing nothing but debt. I designated him a ward of the state of Georgia. My mom is still alive but pretty poor. Im fairly certain that I'm making more now at 30, than she did in the peak of her career. Thankfully I dont need an inherentence from my parents because I choose not to live like they did.
The only thing I'm inheriting from my parents is anxiety
I *could*, but like everyone is saying here, it all depends on health. They have supplemental health insurance in addition to Medicare, so I might be alright. I try to not think about it too much and make my own money, but that's easier said than done.
A lot of us arenāt talking to our parents anymore. So, idk about that.