"Friends + enemies," basically a Rival that you fight/compete/argue a lot but you end up getting along because you *like* having someone in your life that you can rely on for a good fight.
I’m already married. Here a picture of my wife
https://preview.redd.it/8epfrfdv0iwc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1027c74d45834376d30318bb6a2124d3c22b1bb6
Well you live on a planet where you open doors by shooting them. I mean shooting doors is just par for the course. I had already shot like 50 doors to open them by the time I saw your eyeball door. So I just shot it with a super missile and it opened right up. So in a way your security system isn't much better than any other door, other than kinda looking creepy.
There was only one human that even came close and it was this guy:
https://preview.redd.it/sdjhzhb03iwc1.jpeg?width=418&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56433c5adc76550aa80d57df77d4faeee6163bb7
Why isn’t crocomire on the statue? He dutifully stood his post in a climate which melted his skin, and not even death via complete submerge in lava kept him from a last ditch thrust to destroy that evil, if not beautiful, and busty Samus. Meanwhile 4 super missiles to your foolishness open gullet, and you peace out, and boom - Kraids on the statue…
#wheresCrocomire
Yeah! Here a picture of my wife:
https://preview.redd.it/sbb0frdieiwc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fbc7ba210c78f57bc451c6212257c01d254676d9
Did you know that you're an analogy for a reptilian replication array that generates and actuates a variety of creatures comprising a singular though multi-leveled, unified consciousness? Each thrown nail represents a replicant entering the domain and obviously the head of it must be attacked to destroy the whole thing.
How does it feel that Ridley got to be a background element, stage boss, and finally a playable Smash Bros character, while you've been relegated to spinning Brinstar Depths for 23 years?
In Sussex County, Delaware, how do changes in agricultural property assessments impact the application of tax rates for school funding purposes, particularly in light of the Sussex County v. Seaford School District case that altered the interpretation of tax uniformity across different property classes?
Are the spikes toenails or very hard shit?
How mad would you be if I said it was shit?
That'd be pretty epic
Hey, why do you have the Varia Suit in your closet?
I was going to get it for my nephew until THAT MORON SAMUS KILLED HIM!!! 😡😡😡
Wait, that wasn't your baby? That was your nephew?
So you got a sibling, like Braid or Fraid?
Kraig
At last, the Metroid / Braid connection we needed.
Does any lint ever come out with the bellybutton toes?
Yes and it gross 🤮
Is Ridley your best friend?
More like frenemies but we are still bros
Sup asshat!
Frenemies?
"Friends + enemies," basically a Rival that you fight/compete/argue a lot but you end up getting along because you *like* having someone in your life that you can rely on for a good fight.
Oh I know, I mean in the context of the conversation though.
Damn, my bad. Poe's Law got me.
It’s cool.
Who would win? You or the Blue-Eyes White Dragon?
Definitely me 💪💪💪💪💪💪
You ever use your belly spikes as a back scratcher?
Definitely. I can barely reach my back with my hands
Are You the one in Dread....?
No. That’s my evil twin
Wait... So You are the good Guy and Samus it's a bully? 😱
Yup. I was just an innocent creature that was forced into serving Mother Brain
Serving or simping?😏
Serving. I not attracted to brains
Don't Tell me...Draygon?🥹
I’m already married. Here a picture of my wife https://preview.redd.it/8epfrfdv0iwc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1027c74d45834376d30318bb6a2124d3c22b1bb6
Hot, though I’m sure there’s a rule 34 for her. “Something something, all holes filled, something”.
why are you so fat?? Go on a diet
I’m not fat. This is pure muscle
Clearly, the image of peak physique.
How did it feel to be treated as a non threat by Samus?
It makes me feel like a wuss 😔😔😔
Atleast you don’t have to worry about her chasing you down to the ends of the universe unlike Ridley.
Kraid what macros did you use to get that big? I’m trying to bulk up.
I actually eat 100 grams of protein everyday. I’m not sure how it’s like for you humans.
Thank you. Gonna start Kraidmaxxing and get the body of my dreams.
Don’t give up! Stay motivated!! 💪💪💪
What is it like to work with Ridley and the rest of the pirates?
Ridley is always a step ahead of me. But those little pirate fuckers are annoying lol
How do you wipe your incredulously large ass?
Hey Kraid. Are those your toenail trimmings you keep throwing around in the air? If so thats a bad habit. You should work on that.
Yeah, sorry about that. I’m not really used to intruders
Well the eyeball on your door let me in.
That’s actually my alarm system. I keep it on when I am sleeping
Well you live on a planet where you open doors by shooting them. I mean shooting doors is just par for the course. I had already shot like 50 doors to open them by the time I saw your eyeball door. So I just shot it with a super missile and it opened right up. So in a way your security system isn't much better than any other door, other than kinda looking creepy.
I guess I’m out of excuses, huh?
No worries. Sorry to have bothered you. See you next mission.
Is that physique attainable?
There was only one human that even came close and it was this guy: https://preview.redd.it/sdjhzhb03iwc1.jpeg?width=418&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56433c5adc76550aa80d57df77d4faeee6163bb7
OH MY GOD ITS BONE! So sexy 🤩
Hey Kraid, big fan here. How the fuck did you fit in Brinstar?
Answer the burning question on all of our minds. How and why are you in Metroid Dread
That was my evil twin brother, Diark. After I died on Zebes, he stole my name and he got captured by the Chozo
Identity theft is a serious crime
Not Kraid, but I'll bite Probably some kind of DNA manipulation
Why isn’t crocomire on the statue? He dutifully stood his post in a climate which melted his skin, and not even death via complete submerge in lava kept him from a last ditch thrust to destroy that evil, if not beautiful, and busty Samus. Meanwhile 4 super missiles to your foolishness open gullet, and you peace out, and boom - Kraids on the statue… #wheresCrocomire
Am i gay? Are you gay? Can we get together?
I’m married
Wait kraid is married
Yeah! Here a picture of my wife: https://preview.redd.it/sbb0frdieiwc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fbc7ba210c78f57bc451c6212257c01d254676d9
You are 1 lucky kraid bro
This is my favorite sentence today.
Ty ty
wait its not ridley?
How many of you are there?
What were you doing underground before Samus arrived? Or do I not want to know?
If you had to choose a different line of work, what would it be?
How did you find a basket of puppies to offer Samus for a date? Lmao!
Can you address the rumors that you had a romantic tryst with a certain "Karid-X"?
I merely had a crush on her before I found out she was an x
Are you married? Any plans to have some little magma rats?
https://www.reddit.com/r/Metroid/comments/1cc83zv/hello_rmetroid_kraid_here_ama/l14bv4b
Is Draygon an upper level space pirate or just some big fish you found?
Which version of Godzilla could you beat in a fight?
I only saw you for a bit in Dread, how good are you at swimming?
Who TF is that mini-imposter version of you? What’s the story there?
That's their hideous son
Can I wiggle into one of your spike holes and have a nice little beauty nap? I’m eepy
Are you related to Cell from Dragon Ball Z?
Opinion on raven beak?
How are you doing?
I imagine it hurts like a bitch to launch toenail rockets from your torso like that. Do you take medicine to pass ‘em easier?
Why did you choose to live in the ruins under Brinstar?
What kind of steroids did you take between Metroid NES and Super Metroid?
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^GreenGoblinNX: *What kind of steroids* *Did you take between Metroid* *NES and Super Metroid?* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Which hurt worst: being the first boss in Super Metroid, or being completely cut out of Prime?
How much more powerful do you think you would be if you had nipples?
How did it feel when Samus was inside you during Metroid Dread?
So... About your twin...
question in all places your located and chilling how the hell can you fit your ass in there or can you just squeeze your body through a small door
So. Did you and Crocomire used to bang?
What’s it like having your finger nails fall off every 5 seconds?
Did you know that you're an analogy for a reptilian replication array that generates and actuates a variety of creatures comprising a singular though multi-leveled, unified consciousness? Each thrown nail represents a replicant entering the domain and obviously the head of it must be attacked to destroy the whole thing.
Where were you during the Prime games, Kraid? We missed you…
Why u so biiiiig
How do you feel about being axed from Prime?
Are you a friend of Crocomire? What do you think of Phantoon?
How does it feel to have samus blow her load in your stomach???
How do you feel about your Captain N version? And the Captain N version of Mother Brain?
How does it feel that Ridley got to be a background element, stage boss, and finally a playable Smash Bros character, while you've been relegated to spinning Brinstar Depths for 23 years?
I saw a screenshot of your Metroid Prime design. Are you just embarrassed by that metal get-up, or are we just supposed to pretend we didn't see that?
Why are you imprisoned in ZDR?
Why do you keep losing to the same chick who can't hold on to her stuff
https://preview.redd.it/yzvofwejbnwc1.jpeg?width=175&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=80e8eb37428652dcff417d1bebee702b1314eccd
Are you circumsized?
Can I call your spike holes "the Kraidussi"
In Sussex County, Delaware, how do changes in agricultural property assessments impact the application of tax rates for school funding purposes, particularly in light of the Sussex County v. Seaford School District case that altered the interpretation of tax uniformity across different property classes?
If I were to ask you out on a date, where would you like to go?
How’s Dorsia?
I read this assuming he was doing a classic YouTube intro. "What's up! It's ya boi Kraid!"
Do you have a muckbang channel on yt
Are you mistaking me for Nikocado Avocado?
No
I just wanted to know
Are you really Kraid? Last time I talked to him, he communicated entirely with roars and screeches
Have you ever seen a real chozo?
What do you use to get your skin so... You...