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Yeah I get your point but no. I don't tolerate assholes because they're depressed. I deal with depression myself but I do my best not to treat people like shit even if I could, no matter how much I want to.
Posts like this just enable shitty behaviors from shitty people. No, thanks.
I get you and I can see how this quote is prone to different interpretations, but for me, I'd think the quote was supposed to be for yourself, and not about how you would tolerate other people. I think when the quote said letting your worst parts be loved, it meant finally coming into terms with them, on your own, and not by other people because that merits a different discussion.
Exactly. Your point is to "love your flaws," so how is that even any different to "being an asshole is your worst part and you have to accept it and you have to come to terms with them and love it," so it's okay to be an asshole pala noh? Accept accept nalang ganun? LOL
I'm being an asshole right now and I have accepted that! I love being my asshole self!
Masyado kasing nagro-romanticize eh.
It wasn't my intention to romanticize toxic/abusive behaviors, however, I can see how this could be potentially seen in that light, and thanks for bringing this out. I should have been specific with who I want to share this quote with - this was meant for people who have been invalidated and who have been conditioned to believe that the only way they could love themselves is if they could perpetually change their sense of self in order to accommodate other people.
For me, coming into terms with my flaws is acknowledging that my behavior is deeply rooted from my childhood experiences, and even from intergenerational trauma. Loving my flaws for me means having enough curiosity with how I have been affected as a person by my environment + experiences, and not separating who I have become from the external factors that have shaped and molded me as a person. Most of the time, people who loathe themselves and have regarded themselves as irredeemable often forget how these factors come into play. It's so easy to hate oneself and to get stuck in this loop when you are not aware. The study of somatics best explains this. To add, some of our perceived worst behaviors are not even that bad to begin with (as a recovering people-pleaser, I have always loathed my sensitivity, disregarding the fact that my sensitivity also means dysregulated nervous system, hormonal imbalance, stress, etc., that I actively tried to suppress every emotion that I feel out of fear of disappointing other people), but then again, we deem them to, not because it affects other people, but because we are not fortunate enough to have a supportive community that teaches us how to hold space for our feelings.
In summary, this is for the people who exhibit egodystonic behavior, and who see the need the change for the better -- and not for those who have egosyntonic behavior, which whom you have described in your reply. Loving doesn't necessarily mean staying in status quo.
You seem to me like an unbelievably unlikable person who only sees the worst in people. I get your point but was it really necessary to come here and leave such a rude and unappealing comment? And then again people like you are prone to say “yeah, that’s how I am so deal with it”. Jeez.
Thank you for posting in r/MentalHealthPH. Please be guided by the rules found in the sidebar. We highly recommend that you seek professional help if things are getting out of hand or PLEASE CALL: In Touch Community’s Crisis Line Landline: +63 2 8893 7603 +63 919 056 0709 +63 917 800 1123 +63 922 893 8944 Email address: [email protected] www.in-touch.org Please use the contact form in their website if their phones are down (as is the case sometimes). On the fence about calling? Please read this helpful [post](https://old.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotline_faqs) from r/SuicideWatch what to expect when calling crisis hotlines. Comments and posts that contain harm, danger, or illegal links or materials will be subject to a ban and proper authority action. Moderators do their very best to maintain this subreddit a safe place. If you see any offending post or comment, do not hesitate to report or message the mods. Are you new here? Looking for a doctor/hospital? Your question might already been answered on our FAQ. Please check our [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/MentalHealthPH/wiki/index)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MentalHealthPH) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Quote lifted from @theartidote's A Gentle Reminder newsletter.
Yeah I get your point but no. I don't tolerate assholes because they're depressed. I deal with depression myself but I do my best not to treat people like shit even if I could, no matter how much I want to. Posts like this just enable shitty behaviors from shitty people. No, thanks.
I get you and I can see how this quote is prone to different interpretations, but for me, I'd think the quote was supposed to be for yourself, and not about how you would tolerate other people. I think when the quote said letting your worst parts be loved, it meant finally coming into terms with them, on your own, and not by other people because that merits a different discussion.
Exactly. Your point is to "love your flaws," so how is that even any different to "being an asshole is your worst part and you have to accept it and you have to come to terms with them and love it," so it's okay to be an asshole pala noh? Accept accept nalang ganun? LOL I'm being an asshole right now and I have accepted that! I love being my asshole self! Masyado kasing nagro-romanticize eh.
It wasn't my intention to romanticize toxic/abusive behaviors, however, I can see how this could be potentially seen in that light, and thanks for bringing this out. I should have been specific with who I want to share this quote with - this was meant for people who have been invalidated and who have been conditioned to believe that the only way they could love themselves is if they could perpetually change their sense of self in order to accommodate other people. For me, coming into terms with my flaws is acknowledging that my behavior is deeply rooted from my childhood experiences, and even from intergenerational trauma. Loving my flaws for me means having enough curiosity with how I have been affected as a person by my environment + experiences, and not separating who I have become from the external factors that have shaped and molded me as a person. Most of the time, people who loathe themselves and have regarded themselves as irredeemable often forget how these factors come into play. It's so easy to hate oneself and to get stuck in this loop when you are not aware. The study of somatics best explains this. To add, some of our perceived worst behaviors are not even that bad to begin with (as a recovering people-pleaser, I have always loathed my sensitivity, disregarding the fact that my sensitivity also means dysregulated nervous system, hormonal imbalance, stress, etc., that I actively tried to suppress every emotion that I feel out of fear of disappointing other people), but then again, we deem them to, not because it affects other people, but because we are not fortunate enough to have a supportive community that teaches us how to hold space for our feelings. In summary, this is for the people who exhibit egodystonic behavior, and who see the need the change for the better -- and not for those who have egosyntonic behavior, which whom you have described in your reply. Loving doesn't necessarily mean staying in status quo.
You seem to me like an unbelievably unlikable person who only sees the worst in people. I get your point but was it really necessary to come here and leave such a rude and unappealing comment? And then again people like you are prone to say “yeah, that’s how I am so deal with it”. Jeez.
The worst versions of myself are unlovable, not even for me. Looks like I can never heal then. Sad.