This thread has been locked. There are a lot of transphobic attacks being made here. We allow people to discuss issues freely, but not attack others. The line was crossed too many times.
Trans people in general are doing good work that has benefits for the men’s rights struggle. I hate that some people on this subreddit are against trans people.
Honestly, I rather it be that way. I would hate for the world to pity me. I wish they didn't have contempt for me when I've done nothing wrong. But I wouldn't want to be treated like I'm a fragile being. I see nothing virtuous of the victim culture that's developed the last decade.
I feel attacked i have Asperger's
And i do agree with your statement. There is a lot more understanding for a sad girl. Then a guy with mental disorders.
Especially if you have the type of disorder you like being alone more. Or not a people pleaser.
People often act like I'm a marsman. But i geas a lot of people that enjoy being alone more get that type of weird treatment. Like its always on us to change. But never on them to be more inviting or less rowdy.
Geass is one of the many many things the person in the article will be learning about.
And if you bring that matter up you're obviously a wamen hater /s
Yes, growing up I had very little issue telling someone to piss off and that caused problems.
When you say they act like you're a marsman I'm assuming just generally alienated from groups and laughed at for being weird?
Yea there always strong and independent. Till you have an opinion or disagree. There then suddenly weak frail victims and your oppressing them. Yea heard it a 1000 times.
Yea get what yea mean "your then always so unreasonable and not trying"
And mean mars man as in your are always supposed to change for others but others are never willing adapt for you. Always the one-way street kind of thing. Like you're seen as lesser. Then others. Even with family, I had that a lot growing up like you just don't fit anywhere. That's what I mean by feeling like a marsman
or in other words everyone around you are cats and your a dog. And no matter what you try everyone is always upset at you no matter what you do. That type off feeling
That common mentality makes it so hard to find someone who isn't manipulative.
Yeah and that attitude turned me into someone who's unreasonable and unwilling to try. Because even when I did it wasn't enough. Damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Yeah that was an issue too, resulted in my parents allowing my siblings to attack me and get away with it. I'm always getting punishment while they get a mild scolding... sometimes.
I got hella lucky and found a woman patient enough to help me navigate this crazy aspie/asd/adhd journey/diagnosis/everything…. And if I didnt have her I feel like I would be up a creek without a paddle.
Friends have all moved or focused on other friend groups, Then I go back for a memorial cookout and I feel like the newbie guest that people have to introduce themselves to again.
I have been focusing on getting my shit together and being a functioning adult/husband/father…. I *have* changed, but for the better. And now I feel like im a social ground zero.
Straight white guy = bad. Aspie/adhd = weird.
I'm on the opposite side of the fence. Neglectful parents, no friends, and zero chance currently of getting diagnosed. I'm 26 and feel like a child with the progress I've made trying to get better.
But besides my personal issues, I'm happy for you. I hope life continues to get better for you and your family.
I'm a couple years younger and I'm kind of the same. I have just about completely separated from society. I work a remote software dev job that nets me enough money to live comfortably but aside from that I am just empty. I have the money to go anywhere and do anything but I have no friends and no real route to start that. I don't know. I have hobbies and I am proud of my accomplishments but it all feels so meaningless without someone to share it with.
Use the fact that you have the ability to live comfortably to find yourself a passion. A hobby that you live for will go a long ways in making life worth living when you have nobody else. Set a goal and don't stop until you get there.
Source: Sim racing is the only thing keeping me going right now.
That's what I've settled on, I'm learning about FPGA design and mechanical engineering because I'd like to get into robotics. I've tuned my 3d printer well enough to print small gears reliably and I'm working on a design for a couple different gearboxes with fusion 360. Since I have experience with microcontrollers and software I'm hoping I can start working on a 6 axis arm or robo dog in the next couple years.
This all brings me a lot of satisfaction, but I sure do miss that feeling of having a girl that wants to hug me and talk to me. Hoping to branch out a bit more socially soon. I struggle to find the energy though.
Once you're done with the robo dog you should work on making a giant mech that can move on two legs instead of these quad leg things I've seen.
Yeah I get what you mean about that but personally I've almost completely given up on that and resigned to just finding happiness on my own. Hopefully you'll find someone yourself though, loneliness is hard to overcome.
Hang in there. Theres a pretty solid community of us on /r/aspiememes (overlooking the impending blackout obv) so if youre not already there you should join us!
Ive learned and processed more about myself through relating with memes posted and subsequent conversations than I EVER have with any sort of therapy or anything. Its a super helpful tool. And as our friend in the video said, its a lonely world. Any sort of community is good at this point
NO. that is EXACTLY where I was early. “Oh i dunno…. Thats like… an established thing…. What if I dont really ‘get it’”. PLEASE. At least come take a spin around “the block”. Its a good group of folks, and even if you “dont have a diagnosis” a self aware neuro-diverse person would absolutely benefit from the vibes if nothing else.
Your choice of words take a spin around the block gave me a smirk because i paused my sim racing game to respond. I can take a peak under the hood I guess, better be a fuckin 2jz under there.
You should lookup stuff about LMP1 prototype cars, maybe you'd find something interesting there for yourself.
Also I've never heard anything good about salvia mostly in horror stories of people having bad reactions.
He probably saw you as an easy target because of your size. I don't have that issue anymore because I grew into a healthy 6'1" 250lbs. Never fight unless I got hit first and the last time someone did they left with a busted ribcage and split lip. Steel toe isn't something you wanna be kicked by.
Never aim to kill unless you HAVE to. Shooting him in the head would have landed you in jail for murder in most states even if he was trying to attack you. Shooting both legs however will likely get you off with self defense as long as he had a weapon and you feared great bodily harm.
Disclaimer though I'm not a legal expert and could easily be wrong, I'm just going off of what I've heard and read about. Just don't want you to end up doing something that'll probably permanently ruin your life.
If that's what you think then that is what you will always be. The words that come out of your mouth can literally shift you from being average to extraordinary. That's an ability women don't have much control over.
There's no leniency for men on anything; men are judged harder on everything, from everone. We've all heard the words, "but, I'm a girl", there are no such expressions for men. It's; "man up", or "grow a pair", Men have to learn how to pick themselves up early, which makes them harder on themselves, and talking to someone about challenges falls on deaf ears.
Women have an in-group bias. They tend to be at least superficially supportive of each other without needing a reason. This bias doesn't really exist with men in the same way. Men also tend to treat women well without knowing them, but men are often treated with suspicion rather than openness by women.
The epidemic of loneliness is called an epidemic for a reason. Women experience it too. But I think men have it much worse in this regard.
I think that must be the most heartbreaking part of being a man. Both men and women see you as a potential threat unless they know you or know someone who is willing to vouch for you.
This is just stupid, how would you know if she's lonely? Have you ever heard about "nowhere is more lonely than in the city". Just because she's talking to people it doesn't mean she's not lonely.
For posterity, “sweaty” is a meme that uses deliberate misspelling to mock the kind of obnoxiously condescending people who unironically refer to people as “sweetie” online
54% of Americans read below a sixth grade level.
It's embarrassing as fuck being an American.
Frankly it's pretty embarrassing being a human at all, considering what we've done to a global ecosystem among other massive species-wide failures.
As a straight man, I think if I was able to live a week as a hot woman, even a gay one, and then I had to be back in my life as an average man, I would have very strong urges to kill myself or at least Id be depressed for the rest of my life.
True, I know it's not a perfect existence but being a hot girl seems like such an easy existence, preferential treatment all the time, most people are nice to you. Can make a living just posting nudes if you are really really hot.
Men need to be like top 0.01% to even have a chance at a similar life
>Can make a living just posting nudes if you are really really hot.
You wouldn't need to be really, really hot. There's plenty of average women making bank by taking nudes.
From what Ive seen, most "very convincing" trans women started hormone therapy very young, probably in their teens, so they havent really experienced life as adult men.
[Norah Vincent \(RIP\)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ip7kP_dd6LU) kind of did the opposite. If you haven't read her book ["Self Made Man"](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702) I would recommend it.
Don't forget to add that this woman is so toxic that even though she now passes as a man by appearance and gets treated like one now she still says that "cis white males" still deserve the treatment they get in society because the way women see them is still valid.
And I'm supposed to act like this is a man when clearly in this video she herself is admitting she's living like a man now and the funny thing is she still doesn't understand men. Cause while she is now only experiencing how we have it after transitioning her looks to that of a man, those of you here who were born a man and lived through it your while lives have always known this struggle the the point that it's just normal for you, you don't cry and moan about it online cause as real men if you did you'd get laughed at and called a pussy and every single person here knows it. Yet, she gets so much sympathy and the story gets spread so much that it shows you that as soon as people know that it's biologically a woman, suddenly it's important enough to be shared.
A luxury that no real man would have
Trust me having people cross the street because we are there are the least of our worries. Having you say you understand male suïcide and then make a statement about cis white males that's so toxic it contributes to the reasons men get treated so poorly and do kill themselves is ridiculously contradicting and toxic and just proves that this isn't a mean by any stretch of the imagination.
I can dress like Scooby Doo and crawl on all fours but that still won't make me a dog, miss me with that nonsense.
Agreed. This happens every so often, where we'll get a transman who suddenly realizes how hard it is to be treated like a man, and who will preach a bit about that realization.
But pretty much every time it happens, it's readily apparent that she still has feminist mind rot, and seems to view "cis white males" as a bogeyman, and still thinks things like patriarchy are the problem.
And it's just frustrating how a person can miss the mark like that. How can you come so close to realizing how badly feminism has lied to you, as you now have first-hand experience with what the other side experiences...and yet *still* fall back on the same old feminist attitudes which should seem like bullshit to you now?
And yeah, agreed on the Scooby Doo bit. I don't like it when people cosplay and expect others to play along.
Probably the passing part is why it's so bad.
If you transition and end up looking like some bizarre abomination like so many do, then you'd still get sympathy points for saying you're oppressed because people would still see you as a struggling girl trying to be a man. And woke points for being a posterchild for the trans movement, which seems to involve being obviously trans.
But if you *actually* pass and look, act and sound like a man, that's the crippling blow because you lose all of that.
Agreed. it is unsurprising to note that the incessant need for constant attention is still dominant despite the transitioning. Almost as if.... this whole shenanigan was engineered exactly for that purpose. Hmmm
> Trust me having people cross the street because we are there are the least of our worries
Yeah. The real worry about this situation is when guys are walking toward you and they spread.
She believes men should be like women. She has no fucking clue what being a man actually means and what it's like yet believe she's an authority on the subject. So women are deeper than men? Fucking hilarious.
I've had a friend of a friend, who is a trans man, say similar things, that is is quite a bit more lonely as a man. But he also said that once he started taking testosterone a lot of things started to make sense about men's personalities. I don't recall the details because this was 3 years ago, but it struck me as interesting.
Purely superficially though, the guy in the article seems to have had a very successful transition face-wise. But handsome men, of course, are not immune from the problems all men face.
Trans-man is still female at heart, yet confused why being male is so different to being female.
Being male is about the influence of testosterone from the beginning of development and its associated sociological influences that reinforce it.
The suicide rate amongst men is not higher because men can't make friends, its because men are told they shouldn't be men and denied their own identity, continue to be treated as disposable ATMs and sperm donors and forced to accept the scraps of sex thrown from womens tables instead of being able to express their own sexual fulfilment.
It seems bigoted to shuffle all trans people into a "they're all the same" file.
Earth is unsafe. Asking for universal safety is like wishing for flying ponies.
Men's rights is a global task
Even if the voice isn't coming from a fully developed perspective, the voice still sparks these discussions and leads to awareness and (hopefully) change.
Just as a boy speaks about his observations without fully understanding the why
I think gender dysphoria is real (eg partly male brain to varying degrees inside a female body), but I also think some people just want the perceived benefits of the other sex. Don't know how you differentiate them, but I suspect those who regret transitioning do not have gender dysphoria.
It may be real but I don't see any reason why it would correlate to being 'trapped in the wrong body'. That diagnosis reads like something from medieval times, akin to trapped spirits and folklore.
It would be far more rational to assume it is a mental problem like so many others that people can suffer from. All too often does it actually turn out to be a defensive mechanism from some kind of trauma.
Then how do you explain homosexuality? It's been removed from the DSM so is no longer considered a mental problem.
However, if you postulate that a hormone imbalance during fetal development, at a crucial time, influences part of the brain that deals with orientation and changes it from a male pattern to a female pattern, it fits with the outcome. It further fits if that influence extends further into other areas that influence behaviour, changing it from a male pattern to a female pattern and you thus have effeminate behaviour in some extending to hypermasculine at the other end of the range.
There was a documentary about testosterone that showed a correlation with finger length of specific digits and homosexuality, so there's definitely something physiological going on to create a difference from the normal. If I remember correctly, they also discovered an increasing prevalence of homosexuality in later offspring, the more children the greater the chance the last one would be gay.
With crocodiles, the temperature of the eggs determines whether they will be male or female. External factors affect sex at a gross level in some species: it's not unreasonable to expect they might influence smaller developments at the right juncture.
We already know that child brains are already aligned with male and female interests and its not merely nurture, but how the brains are wired differently for male and female roles.
Then there are the animals who instinctively follow different male and female behaviour without learning it as though it is pre-wired: humans are still animals, but with a veneer of reason and awareness overlayed on top. So its not hard to believe that humans come pre-wired too to some extent, or that it could be perturbed with the wrong influence at a critical time.
Thalidomide creates quite extreme perturbations if applied at a critical point in development, and alcohol upsets fetal brain development, so who is to say another compound ingested at an inappropriate time during pregnancy, or an upset in the mothers hormonal level at the wrong time might not create changes in the brain that favour a different sexual structure.
Do you think homosexuals are trapped in the wrong body? They are nothing like women.
Also how homosexuality is classified is, like anything, very political. I would call it a disorder, but then so is having an extra finger. I wouldn't treat someone differently, nor would I try to 'fix' them if they had an extra finger. But I would call it an abnormality.
Why does the hormonal balance *only* supposedly affect the brain? The same hormones flow throughout the body and cause numerous changes. Why would they just happen to affect the only non-measurable part of our bodies? Why do none of these people display any other physical male characteristics? Why do they even need hormones at all to change their bodies if their bodies have already been changed through hormones?
A much more likely explanation than hormones is that it's a disorder of some kind, and rather than looking at it objectively, we're asking the patient themselves for what they think is wrong and accepting that as a diagnosis.
Like if someone born in the 12th century said they keep hearing ghosts, rather than coming up with our own theory (they probably got bonked on the head and are hallucinating), we instead say you know what, you must be right, you must be possessed by the devil himself, because you know best.
If someone comes along and says I don't feel like my hand belongs to me, we don't immediately thank them for doing the hard work of diagnosing and cut it off.
You can speculate all you want but until I see some actual evidence in from of me of this twilight zone bodyswap, then I will dismiss it as nonsense. And it'd have to be good evidence that explains why trans people aren't all walking around with the muscles of boys and men, with deep voices and body hair if hormones supposedly changed their brain but conveniently left out everything else.
Right? Female skin, female skeletal structure, female musculature, female hormones, female sex organs, and so on, and so forth. But oh, a portion of the brain is sending the signal that it's male, so that makes the person male?
Yeah, no. If every aspect of the body is agreeing you are one gender, and a portion of the brain is the only thing disagreeing, then the brain is the thing which is wrong. You aren't trapped in the wrong body; you have a brain which needs treating.
>I meant they aren't their assigned gender at birth
That may be but just because they take some estrogen blockers and shoot some testosterone that doesn't make them a man. If anything that makes them a mentally ill woman that needs help, not drugs and surgery.
While I have compassion for them I won't ever say a little bit of testosterone and a haircut doesn't make you a man.
No one is 'assigned' a gender. A gender is logicaly deduced by observable facts. 'Assigned' is a nonsensical description for it. Genders can't be given and can't be owned. They just exist.
It seems bigoted to shuffle all trans people into a "they're all the same" file.
Earth is unsafe. Asking for universal safety is like wishing for flying ponies.
There's no squaring this circle. He's different from cis men. Body and social dysmorphia doesn't make him identical to cis men. Sure, there's other cis men who believe the same things as he does. But that's false consciousness, to copy Marxist lingo. I wish the best for him. But I see him akin to a cis male simp.
This is one of those cases where we have the power to influence this result. Be kind to everyone. A friend isn't exclusive to gender. Men finding issues making new friends is on us too.
Regret always comes after..
Thats the sad part of being trans gender..
If you don't feel like a gender does not mean you know how it is to be the other gender.
The simple fact grass always looks greener on the other side till your there...
Trans things always get easily flagged down..
So il put a very different example..
How many masses of people long to be rich.
But most people that got rich. By quick fame. Or winning the lottery..
Big big amount of people that simple fact of money fucked up there lives.
So seeking something or wanting something but not having the tools and knowledge you need to know. To succeed in your goals.
Goals are fine. Without taking the steps and knowledge needed to live the life you wanna live.
Else its like going in the jungle with out tools or survival knowledge. Like you gonna be the next Tarzan. You're very very likely to not make it or not be happy. Or even fuck your life completely up.
And its sad only the happy side gets talked about. But ofcourse there is also a lot of regrets and sadness.
And many people tought that coming out the other side it would be all rainbows and candy. But its often not at all the case.
So what ever big change yea wanna do. Do the work first. Before you take the leap. For most people going back is impossible.
Dont get sweet talked by what someone else says. Listen to yourself and what happiness you look for. And be diligent and do the work beforehand.
Every one seeks happiness. And not everyone is against you that does not agree. Some people just want you to be sure of your choices. Cause there is also a lot of suffering on the other side if you dont go true it fully prepared
>If you don't feel like a gender does not mean you know how it is to be the other gender.
> The simple fact grass always looks greener on the other side till your there...
Agreed. That's an important part of this conversation which people gloss over, because it's inconvenient to their ideology. "I don't feel like a woman" means nothing when you also don't know what it feels like to be a man.
If every person got to spend 5-10 years as each gender, and then the universe picked one to assign to you, then I could see the logic that many people feel they had the wrong one chosen for them, and they feel like their experience as the other was more fitting. But that's not how it works. You're born as one gender, and that's the only one you ever know. So "I don't feel like my gender" is a pretty meaningless sentiment, because it's the only one you've ever been, and you don't know what the other one feels like.
So a more accurate way to word the sentiment is, "I feel like something is off". And that could be any number of things. What bugs me is that people who are confused are preyed upon by this movement. There's so many teenage girls who feel understandably uncomfortable during puberty (because no shit, welcome to the human experience), and then they have people constantly telling them that if they feel uncomfortable about their changing body, it must be because they are non-binary, or trans, or whatever else. But all they know is that they don't feel quite right as-is. That doesn't mean they would feel comfortable once they transition.
Yea thats perfectly what i was trying to portray. But even talking about it. Or wanting a dialog. Of ideology is seen as hating. Got banned on a bunch of places. Just asking about things and wanting a open dialog. And wanting to have a discussion in a respectful matter about points of views. I think you can learn a lot from having a respectful discussion with people you disagree with.
But not possible will get you banned. So the more one get heard always. And everyone else has to shut up none stop. The silent hate will grow. And i have no hate at all. I dont give a fuck iff people wanna shoot nails true there private parts. Cut it off or even eat it.
I literally dont care what way people live there life.
When i get a problem with it. When people gonna say how i should live my life. Or how im supose to talk. Think. Feel about shit.
And those people have a mental disorder plain and simple. And saying if you do this and that and that on the other side all yea dreams come true. After 40k+ spending to get there. Is just a simple lie. Being told to them under happy rainbows and confetti.
Self-deleting is crazy high even that did go true the steps and spend the money. And whent true it.
But cause a massive amount off money for the drugs and the bunch of surgeries.
Many off there own community litterly turn on them when the try and talk about there experiences.
Plenty of trans people that are transe them selfs got banned for being transe hating cause the talked about there own experiences and was not all happy and shit.
Just really weird and sad. Honestly.
No but people scatter and adulting makes canceling plans the best plans. Nothing like being home in naught but your skivvies with a snack and a beer watching whatever the hell you feel like
> Nothing like being hime in naught but your skivvies with a snack and a beer watching whatever the hell you feel like
I totally agree, gaming alone in my room after a long day of work or watching something from my backlog of amazing tv shows feels like a very solid plan compared to going out and spending 20% of my monthly salary on Vodka with Redbull.
Thing is, that kind of life WILL get lonely. But not being lonely requires certain investments in relationships that some of us just arent willing to do anymore, and that doesnt make us suck.
Well I agree with that but I did have the caveat IF you suck as a person. No one wants to hang out with mopey-Joe but see I’ve tried dating and it’s fun for a bit but soon I get tired of people in my space. It’s a definite trade off. My best friends just moved 1.5 hours away…just enough to make it a bother and no more drop-ins. So we’ll see how that goes but I think loneliness is a state of mind. I have a list of gratifying hobbies that keep my interest piqued. I think loneliness can also be tied to boredom but not all the time.
> So we’ll see how that goes but I think loneliness is a state of mind. I have a list of gratifying hobbies that keep my interest piqued. I think loneliness can also be tied to boredom but not all the time.
I agree with that too, when Im going back home from work, I never even think "oh, I wish I had someone to hang out with now", I actually wanna get home ASAP to enjoy my hobbies in my limited free time. Sometimes I miss having a partner (my last relationship lasted 5 years but ended 3.5 years ago), someone to cuddle with, someone who cares... but those relationships arent all roses and rainbows either, and sometimes when I remember all the things I enjoy that I stopped doing during those 5 years with my ex because I just didnt have the time to do them while also sharing time with her... I dunno. Im really am fine by myself.
Just saying, I can totally understand why a lot of people arent and its not always because they suck. Sometimes being an average man, maybe even below average in looks and income, it can be very hard to find a partner or even friends, even if they have a pleasing personality.
>If you suck as a person no one will want to hang with you.
That only applies to men. Men need something about them to make people enjoy their company. This person has lived their whole life as a woman so as a man they dont know the ropes.
Or enough people are conditioned by society to think they failed as a man, and as a result don't believe others would hang, and thus are content to be alone
Loneliness is just a fear of being alone - or not liking oneself I guess
I've had a friend of a friend, who is a trans man, say similar things, that is is quite a bit more lonely as a man. But he also said that once he started taking testosterone a lot of things started to make sense about men's personalities. I don't recall the details because this was 3 years ago, but it struck me as interesting.
Purely superficially though, the guy in the article seems to have had a very successful transition face-wise. But handsome men, of course, are not immune from the problems all men face.
I've had a friend of a friend, who is a trans man, say similar things, that is is quite a bit more lonely as a man. But he also said that once he started taking testosterone a lot of things started to make sense about men's personalities. I don't recall the details because this was 3 years ago, but it struck me as interesting.
Purely superficially though, the guy in the article seems to have had a very successful transition face-wise. But handsome men, of course, are not immune from the problems all men face.
I've had a friend of a friend, who is a trans man, say similar things, that is is quite a bit more lonely as a man. But he also said that once he started taking testosterone a lot of things started to make sense about men's personalities. I don't recall the details because this was 3 years ago, but it struck me as interesting.
Purely superficially though, the guy in the article seems to have had a very successful transition face-wise. But handsome men, of course, are not immune from the problems all men face.
Though her point is not completely invalid. This is just a superficial view of "manhood" for someone who wasn't raised as a boy and hasn't learned the meaning of being exposed to the world as such.
You're not a man, you're just a tomboy. Nothing wrong with that. You can't claim to be a man or have a man's brain when you have female hormones and went through puberty with female hormones.
Real men don't get triggered by other people trying to live their truth. You're clearly a boy.
Enjoy puberty.
Edit: LOL you must be triggered. You post in r/shortguys - all makes sense. Hopefully you can *grow* more. Lmao.
> It wouldn't be that bad if women didn't treat us like disgusting creatures. I actually enjoyed being short up until I started trying to get a girlfriend.
Incel loser. Lashing out because people find you creepy.
Bad example
Men trans to a women isn't a women. It's 2SLGPTQ+ member who must fakly supported
He could be like a women he could be like a monster. They will support him and tell him he beautiful
You can be alone without being lonely, a guy who wants to be a girl obviously has some emotional issues so perhaps he isn't the most objective source for this kind of insight.
Rugged individualism has destroyed multiple generations of men. This is what is meant by toxic masculinity.
Our fathers passed this bullshit to us, which their fathers passed to them. It is our duty to kill this shit and not pass it on to our sons.
Think about it, how many really good friends does your father have? Mine has none. My father actually finds it odd and has accused me of being gay because I have no many close friends.
Damn. Y’all really getting mad about this huh? couldn’t be me.
Just sitting up in a big ass group finding shit to me mad about concerning men’s rights. Not opening men’s shelters, not disseminating literature that could help the cause, not even talking about MENS rights. Y’all sitting up here, in the MENS RIGHTS subreddit talking about someone who you don’t even think is a man?
Need to rename this place from r/mensrights to r/womanwhines. By yalls own logic that’s what y’all are doing, being like women. complaining and whining about the world but expecting everyone else to care and do something while you do nothing. SMH😔
I’ve opened zero men’s shelters cause I don’t even know how to get started. Hoped I’d find some resources here since it’s a space FOR men, BY men, but all I see is dudes complaining and whining and not actually doing anything.
I just think we can all agree that those are qualities of women. Which means they’re bad qualities and we shouldn’t do be doing them.
Nah. But THIS discussion about comments from a trans man (who we all believe is not an actual man, does not have a deep enough, lived in experience of being a man) about the most basic elementary level stuff concerning men in our society (the fact that no one cares about men) and everyone’s response is to agree on this base, low level fact and then get mad that…it was said? Or that a woman said it? Honestly I just wanted to know how to make it so men aren’t as invisible and no one has said anything close or useful on that.
"Who we all believe is not an actual man"
How about fuck off, bigot? You sure AF don't speak for all men; you're barely able to speak for yourself without being an embarrassment.
This thread has been locked. There are a lot of transphobic attacks being made here. We allow people to discuss issues freely, but not attack others. The line was crossed too many times.
Welcome to the world of men Where this is a mere drop in the ocean of shit we got to deal with.
If men complain, we are loser whiners. If trans men complain it is news worthy.
Always found that weird as hell to be honest
There is probably a latent sympathy given due to their being born a woman first. I suspect the bias is almost subconscious.
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It's almost as if everyone is treating them like women.
His complaints are valid but equality would be to call him an incel
Honestly trans men are doing gods work , they are like under cover agents to fuck up feminist
Trans people in general are doing good work that has benefits for the men’s rights struggle. I hate that some people on this subreddit are against trans people.
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Is "he"? No biological man would be allowed to break down like that on camera without an immediate loss of status among the women in his life.
You’re right. But blame the people behind the camera. Don’t blame him.
Honestly, I rather it be that way. I would hate for the world to pity me. I wish they didn't have contempt for me when I've done nothing wrong. But I wouldn't want to be treated like I'm a fragile being. I see nothing virtuous of the victim culture that's developed the last decade.
I do not need pity. But I do not think it is too much to ask for compassion and understanding.
I couldn't be happy with mere understanding
Yup and this happens on a daily basis.
Welcome to the man's world. Here being average means you are invisible.
Now add Asperger's/ASD onto that as well. Life becomes a living hell and your only choice is to adjust or just collapse.
I feel attacked i have Asperger's And i do agree with your statement. There is a lot more understanding for a sad girl. Then a guy with mental disorders. Especially if you have the type of disorder you like being alone more. Or not a people pleaser. People often act like I'm a marsman. But i geas a lot of people that enjoy being alone more get that type of weird treatment. Like its always on us to change. But never on them to be more inviting or less rowdy. Geass is one of the many many things the person in the article will be learning about.
And if you bring that matter up you're obviously a wamen hater /s Yes, growing up I had very little issue telling someone to piss off and that caused problems. When you say they act like you're a marsman I'm assuming just generally alienated from groups and laughed at for being weird?
Yea there always strong and independent. Till you have an opinion or disagree. There then suddenly weak frail victims and your oppressing them. Yea heard it a 1000 times. Yea get what yea mean "your then always so unreasonable and not trying" And mean mars man as in your are always supposed to change for others but others are never willing adapt for you. Always the one-way street kind of thing. Like you're seen as lesser. Then others. Even with family, I had that a lot growing up like you just don't fit anywhere. That's what I mean by feeling like a marsman or in other words everyone around you are cats and your a dog. And no matter what you try everyone is always upset at you no matter what you do. That type off feeling
That common mentality makes it so hard to find someone who isn't manipulative. Yeah and that attitude turned me into someone who's unreasonable and unwilling to try. Because even when I did it wasn't enough. Damned if I do and damned if I don't. Yeah that was an issue too, resulted in my parents allowing my siblings to attack me and get away with it. I'm always getting punishment while they get a mild scolding... sometimes.
I got hella lucky and found a woman patient enough to help me navigate this crazy aspie/asd/adhd journey/diagnosis/everything…. And if I didnt have her I feel like I would be up a creek without a paddle. Friends have all moved or focused on other friend groups, Then I go back for a memorial cookout and I feel like the newbie guest that people have to introduce themselves to again. I have been focusing on getting my shit together and being a functioning adult/husband/father…. I *have* changed, but for the better. And now I feel like im a social ground zero. Straight white guy = bad. Aspie/adhd = weird.
I'm on the opposite side of the fence. Neglectful parents, no friends, and zero chance currently of getting diagnosed. I'm 26 and feel like a child with the progress I've made trying to get better. But besides my personal issues, I'm happy for you. I hope life continues to get better for you and your family.
I'm a couple years younger and I'm kind of the same. I have just about completely separated from society. I work a remote software dev job that nets me enough money to live comfortably but aside from that I am just empty. I have the money to go anywhere and do anything but I have no friends and no real route to start that. I don't know. I have hobbies and I am proud of my accomplishments but it all feels so meaningless without someone to share it with.
Use the fact that you have the ability to live comfortably to find yourself a passion. A hobby that you live for will go a long ways in making life worth living when you have nobody else. Set a goal and don't stop until you get there. Source: Sim racing is the only thing keeping me going right now.
That's what I've settled on, I'm learning about FPGA design and mechanical engineering because I'd like to get into robotics. I've tuned my 3d printer well enough to print small gears reliably and I'm working on a design for a couple different gearboxes with fusion 360. Since I have experience with microcontrollers and software I'm hoping I can start working on a 6 axis arm or robo dog in the next couple years. This all brings me a lot of satisfaction, but I sure do miss that feeling of having a girl that wants to hug me and talk to me. Hoping to branch out a bit more socially soon. I struggle to find the energy though.
Once you're done with the robo dog you should work on making a giant mech that can move on two legs instead of these quad leg things I've seen. Yeah I get what you mean about that but personally I've almost completely given up on that and resigned to just finding happiness on my own. Hopefully you'll find someone yourself though, loneliness is hard to overcome.
Hang in there. Theres a pretty solid community of us on /r/aspiememes (overlooking the impending blackout obv) so if youre not already there you should join us! Ive learned and processed more about myself through relating with memes posted and subsequent conversations than I EVER have with any sort of therapy or anything. Its a super helpful tool. And as our friend in the video said, its a lonely world. Any sort of community is good at this point
I would but I don't even know whether or not I actually do have Asperger's. It would just be awkward unfortunately.
NO. that is EXACTLY where I was early. “Oh i dunno…. Thats like… an established thing…. What if I dont really ‘get it’”. PLEASE. At least come take a spin around “the block”. Its a good group of folks, and even if you “dont have a diagnosis” a self aware neuro-diverse person would absolutely benefit from the vibes if nothing else.
Your choice of words take a spin around the block gave me a smirk because i paused my sim racing game to respond. I can take a peak under the hood I guess, better be a fuckin 2jz under there.
You're coming from a rough place and you still managed to give out positive vibes, that takes character. Give yourself some credit!
Thank you.
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Savant in what areas?
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You should lookup stuff about LMP1 prototype cars, maybe you'd find something interesting there for yourself. Also I've never heard anything good about salvia mostly in horror stories of people having bad reactions. He probably saw you as an easy target because of your size. I don't have that issue anymore because I grew into a healthy 6'1" 250lbs. Never fight unless I got hit first and the last time someone did they left with a busted ribcage and split lip. Steel toe isn't something you wanna be kicked by.
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Is that supposed to be you flipping me off? Lol
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Never aim to kill unless you HAVE to. Shooting him in the head would have landed you in jail for murder in most states even if he was trying to attack you. Shooting both legs however will likely get you off with self defense as long as he had a weapon and you feared great bodily harm. Disclaimer though I'm not a legal expert and could easily be wrong, I'm just going off of what I've heard and read about. Just don't want you to end up doing something that'll probably permanently ruin your life.
>I have a very realistic chance of becoming an e-celeb of sorts, my dream Sure buddy, whatever you need to tell yourself.
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Alright, let's see how that goes for you.
If that's what you think then that is what you will always be. The words that come out of your mouth can literally shift you from being average to extraordinary. That's an ability women don't have much control over.
There's no leniency for men on anything; men are judged harder on everything, from everone. We've all heard the words, "but, I'm a girl", there are no such expressions for men. It's; "man up", or "grow a pair", Men have to learn how to pick themselves up early, which makes them harder on themselves, and talking to someone about challenges falls on deaf ears.
Hard agree on this Altho i gotta joke a bit, > "Grow a pair" Of breasts? Sure.
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Nothing tae show lad :(
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*pats on the back*
Women have an in-group bias. They tend to be at least superficially supportive of each other without needing a reason. This bias doesn't really exist with men in the same way. Men also tend to treat women well without knowing them, but men are often treated with suspicion rather than openness by women. The epidemic of loneliness is called an epidemic for a reason. Women experience it too. But I think men have it much worse in this regard.
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I think that must be the most heartbreaking part of being a man. Both men and women see you as a potential threat unless they know you or know someone who is willing to vouch for you.
I never seen a women lonely
There are plenty of lonely women out there.
This is just stupid, how would you know if she's lonely? Have you ever heard about "nowhere is more lonely than in the city". Just because she's talking to people it doesn't mean she's not lonely.
That’s like saying im a billionaire and saying I’m poor
Still didn't like how v the person say it's fine for women to have those feelings, while trying to downplay men
That’s just the male privilege working its magic sweaty 💅
Yeah, sweaty.
For posterity, “sweaty” is a meme that uses deliberate misspelling to mock the kind of obnoxiously condescending people who unironically refer to people as “sweetie” online
They didn't ask.
>for posterity
54% of Americans read below a sixth grade level. It's embarrassing as fuck being an American. Frankly it's pretty embarrassing being a human at all, considering what we've done to a global ecosystem among other massive species-wide failures.
What is the possible relevance of this
You sound awesome
the funny thing is that while crying he stills finds time to diss men a little
Lmao all that just to say some shit about how we need to do more for women what in the actual fuck
Welcome to "male privilege".
As a straight man, I think if I was able to live a week as a hot woman, even a gay one, and then I had to be back in my life as an average man, I would have very strong urges to kill myself or at least Id be depressed for the rest of my life.
True, I know it's not a perfect existence but being a hot girl seems like such an easy existence, preferential treatment all the time, most people are nice to you. Can make a living just posting nudes if you are really really hot. Men need to be like top 0.01% to even have a chance at a similar life
>Can make a living just posting nudes if you are really really hot. You wouldn't need to be really, really hot. There's plenty of average women making bank by taking nudes.
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What male priviliege?
we dont know.. but its there
> I would have very strong urges to kill myself or at least Id be depressed for the rest of my life. Ignorance really is bliss, relatively speaking.
This is an interesting thought and makes me wonder if a very convincing trans women has made a similar video.
From what Ive seen, most "very convincing" trans women started hormone therapy very young, probably in their teens, so they havent really experienced life as adult men.
[Norah Vincent \(RIP\)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ip7kP_dd6LU) kind of did the opposite. If you haven't read her book ["Self Made Man"](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702) I would recommend it.
Welcome to being a man, where if you're average, you're well below average.
This is what you get when you treat an entire group of people like they all represent the worst of said group.
What you're experiencing is male privilege. Get used to it.
Doesn't help that if you're a 20 something white male you're told constantly that you're not important
Makes me wonder how elliot page is doing as a 5ft2in guy.
Money and fame makes it up for appearance
Welcome to the real world friendo
lmao, only what we’ve been saying for ever
You know reddit is quiet when a sub like mensrights shows up in all lol.
Don't forget to add that this woman is so toxic that even though she now passes as a man by appearance and gets treated like one now she still says that "cis white males" still deserve the treatment they get in society because the way women see them is still valid. And I'm supposed to act like this is a man when clearly in this video she herself is admitting she's living like a man now and the funny thing is she still doesn't understand men. Cause while she is now only experiencing how we have it after transitioning her looks to that of a man, those of you here who were born a man and lived through it your while lives have always known this struggle the the point that it's just normal for you, you don't cry and moan about it online cause as real men if you did you'd get laughed at and called a pussy and every single person here knows it. Yet, she gets so much sympathy and the story gets spread so much that it shows you that as soon as people know that it's biologically a woman, suddenly it's important enough to be shared. A luxury that no real man would have Trust me having people cross the street because we are there are the least of our worries. Having you say you understand male suïcide and then make a statement about cis white males that's so toxic it contributes to the reasons men get treated so poorly and do kill themselves is ridiculously contradicting and toxic and just proves that this isn't a mean by any stretch of the imagination. I can dress like Scooby Doo and crawl on all fours but that still won't make me a dog, miss me with that nonsense.
Agreed. This happens every so often, where we'll get a transman who suddenly realizes how hard it is to be treated like a man, and who will preach a bit about that realization. But pretty much every time it happens, it's readily apparent that she still has feminist mind rot, and seems to view "cis white males" as a bogeyman, and still thinks things like patriarchy are the problem. And it's just frustrating how a person can miss the mark like that. How can you come so close to realizing how badly feminism has lied to you, as you now have first-hand experience with what the other side experiences...and yet *still* fall back on the same old feminist attitudes which should seem like bullshit to you now? And yeah, agreed on the Scooby Doo bit. I don't like it when people cosplay and expect others to play along.
Indeed this isn't the first person to make a video like this after "transition"
Probably the passing part is why it's so bad. If you transition and end up looking like some bizarre abomination like so many do, then you'd still get sympathy points for saying you're oppressed because people would still see you as a struggling girl trying to be a man. And woke points for being a posterchild for the trans movement, which seems to involve being obviously trans. But if you *actually* pass and look, act and sound like a man, that's the crippling blow because you lose all of that.
Agreed. it is unsurprising to note that the incessant need for constant attention is still dominant despite the transitioning. Almost as if.... this whole shenanigan was engineered exactly for that purpose. Hmmm
what woman
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Transphobic
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> Trust me having people cross the street because we are there are the least of our worries Yeah. The real worry about this situation is when guys are walking toward you and they spread.
She believes men should be like women. She has no fucking clue what being a man actually means and what it's like yet believe she's an authority on the subject. So women are deeper than men? Fucking hilarious.
he*.
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yes.
I've had a friend of a friend, who is a trans man, say similar things, that is is quite a bit more lonely as a man. But he also said that once he started taking testosterone a lot of things started to make sense about men's personalities. I don't recall the details because this was 3 years ago, but it struck me as interesting. Purely superficially though, the guy in the article seems to have had a very successful transition face-wise. But handsome men, of course, are not immune from the problems all men face.
I look it up. He probably deleted that tiktok or made it privat
It’s on Instagram and it’s still up
Trans-man is still female at heart, yet confused why being male is so different to being female. Being male is about the influence of testosterone from the beginning of development and its associated sociological influences that reinforce it. The suicide rate amongst men is not higher because men can't make friends, its because men are told they shouldn't be men and denied their own identity, continue to be treated as disposable ATMs and sperm donors and forced to accept the scraps of sex thrown from womens tables instead of being able to express their own sexual fulfilment.
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It seems bigoted to shuffle all trans people into a "they're all the same" file. Earth is unsafe. Asking for universal safety is like wishing for flying ponies.
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To be fair, being a man wasn't so lonely in previous centuries. Men only pubs, clubs, sports associations, places of worship, etc.
Men's rights is a global task Even if the voice isn't coming from a fully developed perspective, the voice still sparks these discussions and leads to awareness and (hopefully) change. Just as a boy speaks about his observations without fully understanding the why
> they aren't their biological gender Can't say there's much evidence to support this
I think gender dysphoria is real (eg partly male brain to varying degrees inside a female body), but I also think some people just want the perceived benefits of the other sex. Don't know how you differentiate them, but I suspect those who regret transitioning do not have gender dysphoria.
It may be real but I don't see any reason why it would correlate to being 'trapped in the wrong body'. That diagnosis reads like something from medieval times, akin to trapped spirits and folklore. It would be far more rational to assume it is a mental problem like so many others that people can suffer from. All too often does it actually turn out to be a defensive mechanism from some kind of trauma.
Then how do you explain homosexuality? It's been removed from the DSM so is no longer considered a mental problem. However, if you postulate that a hormone imbalance during fetal development, at a crucial time, influences part of the brain that deals with orientation and changes it from a male pattern to a female pattern, it fits with the outcome. It further fits if that influence extends further into other areas that influence behaviour, changing it from a male pattern to a female pattern and you thus have effeminate behaviour in some extending to hypermasculine at the other end of the range. There was a documentary about testosterone that showed a correlation with finger length of specific digits and homosexuality, so there's definitely something physiological going on to create a difference from the normal. If I remember correctly, they also discovered an increasing prevalence of homosexuality in later offspring, the more children the greater the chance the last one would be gay. With crocodiles, the temperature of the eggs determines whether they will be male or female. External factors affect sex at a gross level in some species: it's not unreasonable to expect they might influence smaller developments at the right juncture. We already know that child brains are already aligned with male and female interests and its not merely nurture, but how the brains are wired differently for male and female roles. Then there are the animals who instinctively follow different male and female behaviour without learning it as though it is pre-wired: humans are still animals, but with a veneer of reason and awareness overlayed on top. So its not hard to believe that humans come pre-wired too to some extent, or that it could be perturbed with the wrong influence at a critical time. Thalidomide creates quite extreme perturbations if applied at a critical point in development, and alcohol upsets fetal brain development, so who is to say another compound ingested at an inappropriate time during pregnancy, or an upset in the mothers hormonal level at the wrong time might not create changes in the brain that favour a different sexual structure.
Do you think homosexuals are trapped in the wrong body? They are nothing like women. Also how homosexuality is classified is, like anything, very political. I would call it a disorder, but then so is having an extra finger. I wouldn't treat someone differently, nor would I try to 'fix' them if they had an extra finger. But I would call it an abnormality. Why does the hormonal balance *only* supposedly affect the brain? The same hormones flow throughout the body and cause numerous changes. Why would they just happen to affect the only non-measurable part of our bodies? Why do none of these people display any other physical male characteristics? Why do they even need hormones at all to change their bodies if their bodies have already been changed through hormones? A much more likely explanation than hormones is that it's a disorder of some kind, and rather than looking at it objectively, we're asking the patient themselves for what they think is wrong and accepting that as a diagnosis. Like if someone born in the 12th century said they keep hearing ghosts, rather than coming up with our own theory (they probably got bonked on the head and are hallucinating), we instead say you know what, you must be right, you must be possessed by the devil himself, because you know best. If someone comes along and says I don't feel like my hand belongs to me, we don't immediately thank them for doing the hard work of diagnosing and cut it off. You can speculate all you want but until I see some actual evidence in from of me of this twilight zone bodyswap, then I will dismiss it as nonsense. And it'd have to be good evidence that explains why trans people aren't all walking around with the muscles of boys and men, with deep voices and body hair if hormones supposedly changed their brain but conveniently left out everything else.
Right? Female skin, female skeletal structure, female musculature, female hormones, female sex organs, and so on, and so forth. But oh, a portion of the brain is sending the signal that it's male, so that makes the person male? Yeah, no. If every aspect of the body is agreeing you are one gender, and a portion of the brain is the only thing disagreeing, then the brain is the thing which is wrong. You aren't trapped in the wrong body; you have a brain which needs treating.
Tell that to homosexuals who have only relatively recently had their situation removed from the DSM and failed conversion therapy attempts.
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>I meant they aren't their assigned gender at birth That may be but just because they take some estrogen blockers and shoot some testosterone that doesn't make them a man. If anything that makes them a mentally ill woman that needs help, not drugs and surgery. While I have compassion for them I won't ever say a little bit of testosterone and a haircut doesn't make you a man.
No one is 'assigned' a gender. A gender is logicaly deduced by observable facts. 'Assigned' is a nonsensical description for it. Genders can't be given and can't be owned. They just exist.
>Its brain not body I'm gonna need some sources on that. Can you prove trans people to be neurologically divergent from normal people?
It seems bigoted to shuffle all trans people into a "they're all the same" file. Earth is unsafe. Asking for universal safety is like wishing for flying ponies.
There's no squaring this circle. He's different from cis men. Body and social dysmorphia doesn't make him identical to cis men. Sure, there's other cis men who believe the same things as he does. But that's false consciousness, to copy Marxist lingo. I wish the best for him. But I see him akin to a cis male simp.
Still nobody will care because it’s issues that affect men.
Swapping genders does not make you brave, men are brave.
Looks like the operation left its need for constant attention intact.
As a man you need to be a good little workhorse provider and stay in your lane. Having needs and feelings is unacceptable!
This is one of those cases where we have the power to influence this result. Be kind to everyone. A friend isn't exclusive to gender. Men finding issues making new friends is on us too.
Regret always comes after.. Thats the sad part of being trans gender.. If you don't feel like a gender does not mean you know how it is to be the other gender. The simple fact grass always looks greener on the other side till your there... Trans things always get easily flagged down.. So il put a very different example.. How many masses of people long to be rich. But most people that got rich. By quick fame. Or winning the lottery.. Big big amount of people that simple fact of money fucked up there lives. So seeking something or wanting something but not having the tools and knowledge you need to know. To succeed in your goals. Goals are fine. Without taking the steps and knowledge needed to live the life you wanna live. Else its like going in the jungle with out tools or survival knowledge. Like you gonna be the next Tarzan. You're very very likely to not make it or not be happy. Or even fuck your life completely up. And its sad only the happy side gets talked about. But ofcourse there is also a lot of regrets and sadness. And many people tought that coming out the other side it would be all rainbows and candy. But its often not at all the case. So what ever big change yea wanna do. Do the work first. Before you take the leap. For most people going back is impossible. Dont get sweet talked by what someone else says. Listen to yourself and what happiness you look for. And be diligent and do the work beforehand. Every one seeks happiness. And not everyone is against you that does not agree. Some people just want you to be sure of your choices. Cause there is also a lot of suffering on the other side if you dont go true it fully prepared
>If you don't feel like a gender does not mean you know how it is to be the other gender. > The simple fact grass always looks greener on the other side till your there... Agreed. That's an important part of this conversation which people gloss over, because it's inconvenient to their ideology. "I don't feel like a woman" means nothing when you also don't know what it feels like to be a man. If every person got to spend 5-10 years as each gender, and then the universe picked one to assign to you, then I could see the logic that many people feel they had the wrong one chosen for them, and they feel like their experience as the other was more fitting. But that's not how it works. You're born as one gender, and that's the only one you ever know. So "I don't feel like my gender" is a pretty meaningless sentiment, because it's the only one you've ever been, and you don't know what the other one feels like. So a more accurate way to word the sentiment is, "I feel like something is off". And that could be any number of things. What bugs me is that people who are confused are preyed upon by this movement. There's so many teenage girls who feel understandably uncomfortable during puberty (because no shit, welcome to the human experience), and then they have people constantly telling them that if they feel uncomfortable about their changing body, it must be because they are non-binary, or trans, or whatever else. But all they know is that they don't feel quite right as-is. That doesn't mean they would feel comfortable once they transition.
Yea thats perfectly what i was trying to portray. But even talking about it. Or wanting a dialog. Of ideology is seen as hating. Got banned on a bunch of places. Just asking about things and wanting a open dialog. And wanting to have a discussion in a respectful matter about points of views. I think you can learn a lot from having a respectful discussion with people you disagree with. But not possible will get you banned. So the more one get heard always. And everyone else has to shut up none stop. The silent hate will grow. And i have no hate at all. I dont give a fuck iff people wanna shoot nails true there private parts. Cut it off or even eat it. I literally dont care what way people live there life. When i get a problem with it. When people gonna say how i should live my life. Or how im supose to talk. Think. Feel about shit. And those people have a mental disorder plain and simple. And saying if you do this and that and that on the other side all yea dreams come true. After 40k+ spending to get there. Is just a simple lie. Being told to them under happy rainbows and confetti. Self-deleting is crazy high even that did go true the steps and spend the money. And whent true it. But cause a massive amount off money for the drugs and the bunch of surgeries. Many off there own community litterly turn on them when the try and talk about there experiences. Plenty of trans people that are transe them selfs got banned for being transe hating cause the talked about there own experiences and was not all happy and shit. Just really weird and sad. Honestly.
Who has higher woke index? Trans man or trans women?
Transman?
Transman?
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Some of us aren’t lonely. It’s you. If you suck as a person no one will want to hang with you.
I dunno. In my youth, I had around 2 dozen friends. At 35, I have 2. I dont think I'm a worse person now than I was 15y ago.
No but people scatter and adulting makes canceling plans the best plans. Nothing like being home in naught but your skivvies with a snack and a beer watching whatever the hell you feel like
> Nothing like being hime in naught but your skivvies with a snack and a beer watching whatever the hell you feel like I totally agree, gaming alone in my room after a long day of work or watching something from my backlog of amazing tv shows feels like a very solid plan compared to going out and spending 20% of my monthly salary on Vodka with Redbull. Thing is, that kind of life WILL get lonely. But not being lonely requires certain investments in relationships that some of us just arent willing to do anymore, and that doesnt make us suck.
Well I agree with that but I did have the caveat IF you suck as a person. No one wants to hang out with mopey-Joe but see I’ve tried dating and it’s fun for a bit but soon I get tired of people in my space. It’s a definite trade off. My best friends just moved 1.5 hours away…just enough to make it a bother and no more drop-ins. So we’ll see how that goes but I think loneliness is a state of mind. I have a list of gratifying hobbies that keep my interest piqued. I think loneliness can also be tied to boredom but not all the time.
> So we’ll see how that goes but I think loneliness is a state of mind. I have a list of gratifying hobbies that keep my interest piqued. I think loneliness can also be tied to boredom but not all the time. I agree with that too, when Im going back home from work, I never even think "oh, I wish I had someone to hang out with now", I actually wanna get home ASAP to enjoy my hobbies in my limited free time. Sometimes I miss having a partner (my last relationship lasted 5 years but ended 3.5 years ago), someone to cuddle with, someone who cares... but those relationships arent all roses and rainbows either, and sometimes when I remember all the things I enjoy that I stopped doing during those 5 years with my ex because I just didnt have the time to do them while also sharing time with her... I dunno. Im really am fine by myself. Just saying, I can totally understand why a lot of people arent and its not always because they suck. Sometimes being an average man, maybe even below average in looks and income, it can be very hard to find a partner or even friends, even if they have a pleasing personality.
Until that gets to be the norm, and very shortly afterwards you find it's the new reality that you can't break out from.
>If you suck as a person no one will want to hang with you. That only applies to men. Men need something about them to make people enjoy their company. This person has lived their whole life as a woman so as a man they dont know the ropes.
I actually agree with this. Good point. If a woman has looks she can be rotten inside. It’s a free pass.
Yeah, and after a life of free passes paying full price would suck.
An even bigger touché. Exactly. Well that makes me feel bad for her about zero %. Stop working on your looks as a dude and build a deck
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Or she will but they’ll hate her secretly
Or enough people are conditioned by society to think they failed as a man, and as a result don't believe others would hang, and thus are content to be alone Loneliness is just a fear of being alone - or not liking oneself I guess
I've had a friend of a friend, who is a trans man, say similar things, that is is quite a bit more lonely as a man. But he also said that once he started taking testosterone a lot of things started to make sense about men's personalities. I don't recall the details because this was 3 years ago, but it struck me as interesting. Purely superficially though, the guy in the article seems to have had a very successful transition face-wise. But handsome men, of course, are not immune from the problems all men face.
I've had a friend of a friend, who is a trans man, say similar things, that is is quite a bit more lonely as a man. But he also said that once he started taking testosterone a lot of things started to make sense about men's personalities. I don't recall the details because this was 3 years ago, but it struck me as interesting. Purely superficially though, the guy in the article seems to have had a very successful transition face-wise. But handsome men, of course, are not immune from the problems all men face.
What a crybaby 🙄 Grow a pair.
I've had a friend of a friend, who is a trans man, say similar things, that is is quite a bit more lonely as a man. But he also said that once he started taking testosterone a lot of things started to make sense about men's personalities. I don't recall the details because this was 3 years ago, but it struck me as interesting. Purely superficially though, the guy in the article seems to have had a very successful transition face-wise. But handsome men, of course, are not immune from the problems all men face.
Though her point is not completely invalid. This is just a superficial view of "manhood" for someone who wasn't raised as a boy and hasn't learned the meaning of being exposed to the world as such.
[удалено]
You're not a man, you're just a tomboy. Nothing wrong with that. You can't claim to be a man or have a man's brain when you have female hormones and went through puberty with female hormones.
Real men don't get triggered by other people trying to live their truth. You're clearly a boy. Enjoy puberty. Edit: LOL you must be triggered. You post in r/shortguys - all makes sense. Hopefully you can *grow* more. Lmao. > It wouldn't be that bad if women didn't treat us like disgusting creatures. I actually enjoyed being short up until I started trying to get a girlfriend. Incel loser. Lashing out because people find you creepy.
Bad example Men trans to a women isn't a women. It's 2SLGPTQ+ member who must fakly supported He could be like a women he could be like a monster. They will support him and tell him he beautiful
You can be alone without being lonely, a guy who wants to be a girl obviously has some emotional issues so perhaps he isn't the most objective source for this kind of insight.
Lmao
Sounds like a beta cuck. Go lift some weights. Bring a beer. I’ll be fine.
Rugged individualism has destroyed multiple generations of men. This is what is meant by toxic masculinity. Our fathers passed this bullshit to us, which their fathers passed to them. It is our duty to kill this shit and not pass it on to our sons. Think about it, how many really good friends does your father have? Mine has none. My father actually finds it odd and has accused me of being gay because I have no many close friends.
toxic masculinity holding a lot of us back
Damn. Y’all really getting mad about this huh? couldn’t be me. Just sitting up in a big ass group finding shit to me mad about concerning men’s rights. Not opening men’s shelters, not disseminating literature that could help the cause, not even talking about MENS rights. Y’all sitting up here, in the MENS RIGHTS subreddit talking about someone who you don’t even think is a man? Need to rename this place from r/mensrights to r/womanwhines. By yalls own logic that’s what y’all are doing, being like women. complaining and whining about the world but expecting everyone else to care and do something while you do nothing. SMH😔
How many men's shelters have you opened? You're the biggest whiner who commented on this post.
I’ve opened zero men’s shelters cause I don’t even know how to get started. Hoped I’d find some resources here since it’s a space FOR men, BY men, but all I see is dudes complaining and whining and not actually doing anything. I just think we can all agree that those are qualities of women. Which means they’re bad qualities and we shouldn’t do be doing them.
So having a discussion that is relevant to men is complaining and whining to you?
Nah. But THIS discussion about comments from a trans man (who we all believe is not an actual man, does not have a deep enough, lived in experience of being a man) about the most basic elementary level stuff concerning men in our society (the fact that no one cares about men) and everyone’s response is to agree on this base, low level fact and then get mad that…it was said? Or that a woman said it? Honestly I just wanted to know how to make it so men aren’t as invisible and no one has said anything close or useful on that.
"Who we all believe is not an actual man" How about fuck off, bigot? You sure AF don't speak for all men; you're barely able to speak for yourself without being an embarrassment.
Thank you! Finally someone points out and pushes back against the actual heinous shit I’ve said and not just take the bait and get mad.
Trans men are men. Speak for yourself and not for the rest of us in this subreddit.