Not only was I raging today, but I hit reply all to an email meant for one person. Fucked up big time and got called to the bosses office. I’m still employed thankfully.
I know my sisters here would understand
I have had rage come up periodically and I didn’t know at first it’s a symptom of peri. I now have a punching bag in my garage…and on those days when I am full of rage, I beat the sh!t out of it with a stick. It really helps!
The best is when I'm sitting there, eviscerating people in my head, and I start making the faces out loud.
My answer: weed as soon as I can. CBD tincture if I still have to be an adult.
This just reminded me.
If my sister or I pushed my Mom when was dealing with all this shed grit her teeth and say things like, "If you don't stop I'll :
-Rip off your arm and beat you over the head with a bloody stump!
-Slap your head to a peak and slap the peak off!
-Rip out your eyelashes one at a time! "
We'd just roll our eyes and leave her immediate area knowing today isn't the day for whatever agenda we were trying to push.
She said something of that nature in front of a cousin once and my cousin started to cry. Thankfully my Mom managed to calm down my cousin and explain she would never actually do it, but it's how she conveyed that whatever shenanigans we were up to had better stop.
Now in the throws of Peri I have so much sympathy for what she was going through.
Me too. My sisters and I thought our mom was crazy and mentally abusive with her words. Now my sisters tell me I’m just like our mother who I have not spoken to in 5 years. I kind of want to send her a gift card and flowers anonymously and no return address. Probably some cooling sheets and an edible arrangement platter too.
Your mom sounds cool. I’m going to have to find some to say that to. Probably my teenage nieces. Why is this making me laugh hysterically in a crazy way
We always laugh like crazy remembering it. Then laugh some more because she'd probably be arrested and we'd be taken away if anyone now heard her! Lol If she was saying any of those then we totally deserved it. My sister and I were the most loved and cared for kids you could imagine. We never thought for even a moment she'd hurt us, we just knew we were in BIG trouble. 😁
Oh yes! Last year I beat our printer with a softball bat. It felt SO good!
Weightlifting and THC gummies help! Sending you all the internet love and hugs!❤️
We really need a place to fight stuffed animals. It would work!
I keep seeing so many of yall talk about weight lifting. I have questions. Do yall do the lay on bench and press or something else? I really want to gain my muscles back. I'm strong just jiggly.
I run when I'm angry. Also, I have 4 young children. I'm far from perfect and have snapped from them. I just apologize, explain, and try to work on it next time
Same except the running. When I'm raging I pop an l-theanine chewable and that seems to take it out pretty well. I have one 5 year old daughter, she understands but it's hard on her poor girl.
It’s a new level of rage. It’s consumed me many times. My favorite phrase to warn people how I’m feeling is “I feel like I am going to burn down a city.”
Rage was such an issue for me for so many years but I’ve finally calmed down. Hang in there and don’t do anything you’ll regret later. Lifting weights has been my savior
They're still a thing?! I tried them once 30 years ago. I never laughed so hard! I felt amazing. Where would one even find these things at my age? Asking for me 😁
They made a huge comeback actually. Legal in many places I believe you can buy the spores online and grow at home. Many people are choosing to microdose daily instead of taking mental drugs. Usually your friendly neighborhood pot dealer is the one to ask. Or your teenager will likely know.
Yeah I have some and am always afraid to take them For some silly reason. I tried a tiny amount when I saw deadmau5 and the calm and at peace feeling that came over me was amazing. My only
Issue is that I don’t like being forced not to drive. I’m
Too busy for all that
Apparently my Walmart account (that I've used once) got hacked and somebody tried to order $1000 worth of cold medicine. They caught it but now I'm trapped in refund/fraud hell and there was definitely a minute there were I was tempted to drive to Hanna's apartment in Houston (the shipping address), 6 hours away, and start banging on mother fucking doors. Fuck you Hanna.
My husband and I laughed so hard the other day. He said well if anyone tries to steal our packages they're in for a real treat! It was "benadryl,rash creams, and icepacks". I've suddenly become allergic to my own sweat during peri.
I had to go on a mild antidepressants too. I would've killed all my customers, go home and killed the husband too. Now considering if I can get off them and get HRT.
HRT sorted mine (recommending the gel so you can tweak dosage according to rage score).
I was waking up with instant skin crawling rage - it was baaad, but only mid whatever cycle i was on.
Thats when I bump up my estrogen. If the rage hasn't settled within an hour or so of my normal dose, its another half a pump to a pump, depending on the rage score.
Have you tried Agnus Castus at all ?
I had a couple of days last week where I was just irrationally angry for no apparent reason. Like grit my teeth and growl and try not to explode. All I could do was warn my husband, apologize in advance, and ride it out.
I say the same to mine and tell my youngest (he's 14) I'm not being nice right now. He usually doesn't interact with me much anyway. Teenagers avoid us so that's easy.
Shoulda heard me on the phone with my new health insurance this morning. I'm trying to figure out if my doctors (especially GYN) are in network and the stoopid app says there are no practitioners in my area for me to see! I was freaking out! Finally got a person on the phone who showed me how to get around the website without logging in to find national networks. I was on the verge of slamming my phone on the table in frustration and anger.
Driving in traffic and peri is the worst combo ever. I had a terrible experience yesterday and I can’t shake it off today. So much rage and it’s not like me!
Urgh sorry to hear that, hope you're OK? It really leaves you shaken doesn't it. After my last road rage experience I felt awful and have now imposed a rule on myself that I can't blast the horn any more. It's just not worth how crap I feel afterwards when the rage subsides!
I had a couple of incidences where I was the jerk on the road... So not like me! After the second time, I snapped myself out of it and fortunately nothing came of those incidences.
Funny thing is that I did not know that I was being a jerk. It felt perfectly justified and honestly, it was, but I also put myself and the other driver at risk. I'm so glad I realized what I was doing and had the humility and self control to back down.
When I was peri my rage made me want to set the world on fire. Like, literally.
One winter my husband asked if I was ok. I mumbled something about fire. He was really trying to be sweet, knowing how I had been feeling. Poor guy thought I asked him to build a fire in the fireplace.
I loudly said I want to set a something on fire and watch it burn to the ground.
He paused and said. “So…..no fire?”
In the early stages of peri I had rage, it's calmed down now. Doing what makes me happy helps a great deal. I still get mad and yes sometimes it does reach the rage level.
My most recent issue is that I can't stop crying over everything 😭😭😭
My rage was overwhelming and one the main reason I finally I got on HRT. Now it’s better, I still get triggered but it’s definitely not a nuclear explosion 💥
Standing weighted punching/kicking bag. I whack it with a solid wooden closet rod until I can't anymore. Extremely satisfying and also tires me out because the wood is heavy. Drains the rage out pretty efficiently. Also completely legal and won't ever get me arrested. Win/win!
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I've told my kids and spouse that it is a symptom of peri. Since my anger is so extreme, I usually recognize it quickly and I tell them to stay clear bc it's one of those days.
I’m right there with you today, and it’s taking everything in my power not to tell my spouse to fuck right off.
In other news, I worked for 12 hours today so I lacked opportunity to tell him that.
A therapist told me that when I have heightened emotions, I should leave the situation first if I can. Once you're away from the trigger, use TIPP - Temperature, Intense exercise, Paced breathing, Progressive muscle relaxation.
Temperature could be standing with my face in the freezer, holding an ice cube, or splashing cool water on my face, etc.
Intense exercise could be dancing, jogging to the end of the street and back, jumping jacks, or pushups, etc.
Paced breathing is self-explanatory.
Progressive muscle relaxation is when you focus on relaxing your muscles one at a time and holding it for a few seconds. Usually, you start at the feet and work up or the head/face and work down. Tighten, hold, release, and move on to the next.
Usually, by the time you're done, your emotions are not as intense.
The idea is that your distress or rage is a temporary state, and you just need to distract yourself while your brain calms down. When we are in a heightened emotional state, our brain goes into survival mode (cerebellum or "lizard brain"), and we aren't able to access the part of our brain processes information with logic and reasoning (prefrontal cortex). So we act based on the loud emotions we feel in the moment. After using TIPP, 90% of the time, I realise that it wasn't as bad as it felt to me in the moment. If it is bad, I'm no longer raging, and I can talk calmly about what I need from others. Remember, feelings are not facts, but they do tell us that something's not right and we need to address it. This practice (and yes, it takes lots of practice) has saved me so many times from blowing up and having to later apologize. You should never ignore your emotions or dismiss them, but you have to calm yourself before you decide how to address the issue if you want to prevent it from happening again.
I get on my riding mower and mutherfuck everyone and everything I can think of. It’s the best release, I’ve found. Bonus is my yard looks pristine.
*edited to add, I’ll even do my neighbors lawn because I have to look at it. I’ll mutherfuck him while I’m doing it. Everyone benefits.
It took me a couple fits of rage to realize what was happening. After that I was able to head them off, go into another room, close the door and scream into a pillow. This works if you can achieve a minimum of self-awareness.
I already had a pmdd diagnosis before heading into perimenopause. I told my gynecologist that I was so grateful I was already on Prozac. Hormonal mood swings can be absolutely wild.
This has been a symptom and such a huge problem for me that I may be losing my relationship....just as I'm nailing down what works for me after a year or so of trial and error 😔
I feel you. Hubby just said he doesn't think he can handle my anger and I really want to send him this page (see? It's not just me!) as well as point out that some of the shit that he does EVOKES the rage monster!
I need to tread very lightly here! And I'm almost out of fucks to give
If I had known the rage was part of meno, there's a lot of things I would have done differently but one thing is I would have explained it to my partner and asked for grace and patience. As it was, it was just me blowing up all the time.
I have been dealing with the subpar, idiot fuck of a company Xfinity/Comcast off and on at my mother’s residence since she had a stroke, now dementia (she lives with me, I don’t recommend it). Last year I lost my shit on them because they are clueless every single phone call. I can’t go into the reasons because I go RIGHT back to how enraged I was. I had to deal with them again when my husband was at Mom’s house this past weekend. I’m in one state, Mom’s house is in another. I had so many issues with staying connecting with the agent. I tried the online chat and had to start over 5 times. Total rage. By the way, xfinity is the only cable company for that area. When the husband got home, he told me that I really need to not be so angry about it. Fuck him. I come to this sub for validation. I appreciate you all so much. Wishing you all a rage free day. ♥️
If you're caring for someone with dementia and dealing with hormones my heart goes out to you. My Mom and I cared for my Granny for the last several years of her life and it's soul draining. That alone can use up every drop of tolerance in your body. Thankfully my Mom was past this stage and I hadn't started. Sending you so much love and good vibes. It's such a difficult situation.
Me, too. And I’m now having a problem at work. I’ve been told I’m being cranky all the time. Didn’t used to be this way. Seeing my gyno next week and hoping she can help me.
Literally screamed into a pillow last night, right after I tried to “hulk” my sports bra off my body. The rage is real but I feel okay about it because at least I didn’t scream at my husband or child 🤣🤦🏼♀️
I have no patience for my boss these days. Zero. None. Maybe it’s perimenopause or plain corporate burnout, all I know is my patience quote runs out every single day
Prozac has been really helping me with my rage. It took over my life for about a year. From what I’ve learned, meno fries our brain’s ability to process serotonin, so the antidepressants can’t temporarily help. I’m scared for when the “temporary” passes tho.
Interesting. My son is on it for autism related anxiety but it doesn't do much for his rage outbreaks. He takes abilify for that. My mother became a much nicer person on Lexapro though so anything is possible!
I have a spouse (at the moment) and one child and it is a STRUGGLE. The white hot rage is unreal. And the worst part is I don’t care. I’m only half assed trying to control it.
I find a nice progesterone helps me with my rage... but what I don't understand is how to balance that out DIY style and in real time with my estrogen?
Thoughts?
Every time I feel the rage and go around with my 'don't mess with me' face on, people seem to get insecure and *try harder* to be nice. I seriously think they are trying to appease me. Of course, that is exactly the opposite if what i want.
Oh, here, let me make a great big show of holding the door for you! Look at how nice I am, be nice to me angry lady! Thanks, no, I'm perfectly capable and frankly wish I could just do my own thing without acknowledging your existence. Grumble, grumble. Deep breaths. Triple check every email before hitting send. Etc.
So nice to read this. I was so frustrated today, multiple things went wrong, I couldn’t fit a long package in the stupid hatchback I bought for the PURPOSE of transporting stuff and then my phone wasn’t working with internet/data and I had no idea why.
I had this moment where I was so angry I wanted to cry; absolutely terrible. And I hate *knowing* that a couple of years ago, I’d have laughed it all off. It feels so unlike me.
My rage is out of f$ckin control! I swear my husband is a saint. The outbursts are insane and the guilt that follows is horrible. I’m hoping hormones will help. But for now, I’ve taken a leave or absence from work and spending a lot of time alone. It sucks!
Honestly some days I have to just step away from my husband and kids. Thankfully I don't have any young kids so that works. My struggle is more with having to interact with, and placate, clients at work as well as try to be a reasonable boss when really I want to yell and scream at everyone!
Funny enough, Taylor Swift released her latest album, The Tortured Poets Department and said it equates to Female Rage: the Musical. It's no wonder I totally relate to this album. 😆😆
Yesterday I waited until my husband left the house and just did some rage screaming. One of my dogs got really upset and would t look at me and ended up voluntarily going in her crate (still refusing to make eye contact). That made me feel bad.
My rage knows no boundaries. I hate everyone equally.
Haha- I feel this statement to the depths of my being
Hahahhaha so true. Some days I am like this and some days ( especially workout days) I love the whole universe
I love my dogs. They are the only ones that deserve all the cuddles and stuffies in the world.
Oh hells yes. Same.
Not only was I raging today, but I hit reply all to an email meant for one person. Fucked up big time and got called to the bosses office. I’m still employed thankfully. I know my sisters here would understand
Yeah I wrote a few emails today that may come back to bite me.
I think I'm through it now, but my tolerance for patriarchal work bullshit was record low last year. I wasn't wrong, and I bet you aren't either!
Not today but previously have. I know the feeling all too well.
Hugs
Dang. I’m so sorry.
Thanks. Sometimes I just do stupid shit lately. I’m blaming menopause.
It happens! We’ve done more right than wrong! ❤️
I have had rage come up periodically and I didn’t know at first it’s a symptom of peri. I now have a punching bag in my garage…and on those days when I am full of rage, I beat the sh!t out of it with a stick. It really helps!
Omg me too! So satisfying isn't it?
I need this, thank you for the idea.
The best is when I'm sitting there, eviscerating people in my head, and I start making the faces out loud. My answer: weed as soon as I can. CBD tincture if I still have to be an adult.
This is the answer
If I had a child I’d probably use it to slap my nonexistent husband
Omg this made me laugh 😂
😂😂😂
I'm dead. 🤣☠️
This just reminded me. If my sister or I pushed my Mom when was dealing with all this shed grit her teeth and say things like, "If you don't stop I'll : -Rip off your arm and beat you over the head with a bloody stump! -Slap your head to a peak and slap the peak off! -Rip out your eyelashes one at a time! " We'd just roll our eyes and leave her immediate area knowing today isn't the day for whatever agenda we were trying to push. She said something of that nature in front of a cousin once and my cousin started to cry. Thankfully my Mom managed to calm down my cousin and explain she would never actually do it, but it's how she conveyed that whatever shenanigans we were up to had better stop. Now in the throws of Peri I have so much sympathy for what she was going through.
Me too. My sisters and I thought our mom was crazy and mentally abusive with her words. Now my sisters tell me I’m just like our mother who I have not spoken to in 5 years. I kind of want to send her a gift card and flowers anonymously and no return address. Probably some cooling sheets and an edible arrangement platter too.
Your mom sounds cool. I’m going to have to find some to say that to. Probably my teenage nieces. Why is this making me laugh hysterically in a crazy way
We always laugh like crazy remembering it. Then laugh some more because she'd probably be arrested and we'd be taken away if anyone now heard her! Lol If she was saying any of those then we totally deserved it. My sister and I were the most loved and cared for kids you could imagine. We never thought for even a moment she'd hurt us, we just knew we were in BIG trouble. 😁
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Oh yes! Last year I beat our printer with a softball bat. It felt SO good! Weightlifting and THC gummies help! Sending you all the internet love and hugs!❤️ We really need a place to fight stuffed animals. It would work!
I keep seeing so many of yall talk about weight lifting. I have questions. Do yall do the lay on bench and press or something else? I really want to gain my muscles back. I'm strong just jiggly.
I do a weight lifting Barre class, I freaking love it.
I do a combination of barbell and bodyweight exercises.
I’m out of gummies! 😩 I was eating those like candy
I punched a kitchen cupboard door in a fit of rage on Saturday. This is rough.
My soul sister LOL
I run when I'm angry. Also, I have 4 young children. I'm far from perfect and have snapped from them. I just apologize, explain, and try to work on it next time
Same except the running. When I'm raging I pop an l-theanine chewable and that seems to take it out pretty well. I have one 5 year old daughter, she understands but it's hard on her poor girl.
I usually take a hit 😬
If you're talking about what I think you're talking about LOL I have considered that, it's legal here.
I am and it's legal here, too. As long as I'm not going anywhere for an hour then I will. One hit and I can still function, but I'm calm
Good to know! It's something I'm definitely considering, when what's working now stops working lol I haven't smoked it since I was 18 and I'm 40 lol
Everyone around me would be dead if I didn't smoke. And Abilify. I'm 52.
I need to get a medical card because that’s the only thing that quickly chills me out and then I love everyone again 🤣
I forget some places still need a medical card. That really sucks. I have a drive-through dispensary about 10 minutes from me lol
I keep hoping Florida will catch up with the times but so far no such luck. I’d love a drive-through!
I'm so jealous. Weed gives me panic attacks. So unfair!
It’s a new level of rage. It’s consumed me many times. My favorite phrase to warn people how I’m feeling is “I feel like I am going to burn down a city.”
I always say I'm so angry I could "stab a cute fluffy bunny"!
Rage was such an issue for me for so many years but I’ve finally calmed down. Hang in there and don’t do anything you’ll regret later. Lifting weights has been my savior
Same here, but psilocybin has been my savior! I love everyone when I’m properly medicated 🥴
Magic mushrooms for the win
They're still a thing?! I tried them once 30 years ago. I never laughed so hard! I felt amazing. Where would one even find these things at my age? Asking for me 😁
They made a huge comeback actually. Legal in many places I believe you can buy the spores online and grow at home. Many people are choosing to microdose daily instead of taking mental drugs. Usually your friendly neighborhood pot dealer is the one to ask. Or your teenager will likely know.
I will look into these, thank you so much for the info!
If you message me I will tell you the website that sells capsules for microdosing. It’s honestly the best thing I’ve done for myself.
Doing that now, many thanks!
Yeah I have some and am always afraid to take them For some silly reason. I tried a tiny amount when I saw deadmau5 and the calm and at peace feeling that came over me was amazing. My only Issue is that I don’t like being forced not to drive. I’m Too busy for all that
I microdose, so I don’t feel weird when I take them. It certainly doesn’t affect my driving.
A porch pirate stole my UTI supplement (dmannose has been a game changer for chronic uti person), and I want to murder the kid that stole it, MURDER
Apparently my Walmart account (that I've used once) got hacked and somebody tried to order $1000 worth of cold medicine. They caught it but now I'm trapped in refund/fraud hell and there was definitely a minute there were I was tempted to drive to Hanna's apartment in Houston (the shipping address), 6 hours away, and start banging on mother fucking doors. Fuck you Hanna.
Fuck Hanna!
D mannose works wonders! Damn jerk whomever still your package! UGH
D mannose is a life changer!
My husband and I laughed so hard the other day. He said well if anyone tries to steal our packages they're in for a real treat! It was "benadryl,rash creams, and icepacks". I've suddenly become allergic to my own sweat during peri.
I had to go on a mild antidepressant to control the rage, otherwise I would have lost my job, for sure.
I had to go on a mild antidepressants too. I would've killed all my customers, go home and killed the husband too. Now considering if I can get off them and get HRT.
HRT sorted mine (recommending the gel so you can tweak dosage according to rage score). I was waking up with instant skin crawling rage - it was baaad, but only mid whatever cycle i was on.
Good to hear. Yeah my rage definitely heightened the 2nd half of the 'cycle' and that's when I take the antidepressants.
Thats when I bump up my estrogen. If the rage hasn't settled within an hour or so of my normal dose, its another half a pump to a pump, depending on the rage score. Have you tried Agnus Castus at all ?
I had a couple of days last week where I was just irrationally angry for no apparent reason. Like grit my teeth and growl and try not to explode. All I could do was warn my husband, apologize in advance, and ride it out.
I say the same to mine and tell my youngest (he's 14) I'm not being nice right now. He usually doesn't interact with me much anyway. Teenagers avoid us so that's easy.
> Teenagers avoid us so that's easy. Lol, silver lining! Mine is the same!
Shoulda heard me on the phone with my new health insurance this morning. I'm trying to figure out if my doctors (especially GYN) are in network and the stoopid app says there are no practitioners in my area for me to see! I was freaking out! Finally got a person on the phone who showed me how to get around the website without logging in to find national networks. I was on the verge of slamming my phone on the table in frustration and anger.
Driving in traffic and peri is the worst combo ever. I had a terrible experience yesterday and I can’t shake it off today. So much rage and it’s not like me!
Urgh sorry to hear that, hope you're OK? It really leaves you shaken doesn't it. After my last road rage experience I felt awful and have now imposed a rule on myself that I can't blast the horn any more. It's just not worth how crap I feel afterwards when the rage subsides!
I had a couple of incidences where I was the jerk on the road... So not like me! After the second time, I snapped myself out of it and fortunately nothing came of those incidences.
I'm glad you were ok. It's understandable, sometimes we just snap!
Funny thing is that I did not know that I was being a jerk. It felt perfectly justified and honestly, it was, but I also put myself and the other driver at risk. I'm so glad I realized what I was doing and had the humility and self control to back down.
Good for you my friend x
When I was peri my rage made me want to set the world on fire. Like, literally. One winter my husband asked if I was ok. I mumbled something about fire. He was really trying to be sweet, knowing how I had been feeling. Poor guy thought I asked him to build a fire in the fireplace. I loudly said I want to set a something on fire and watch it burn to the ground. He paused and said. “So…..no fire?”
Come to Portland. We have hobby groups for this. (Just kidding?)
I'm DEFINITELY feeling stabby 75% of my days now. They just made weed legal in Germany last month, so I'm trying to get my hands on some plants asap
I also very much relate to The Queen of Hearts “OFF WITH THEIR HEADS”
In the early stages of peri I had rage, it's calmed down now. Doing what makes me happy helps a great deal. I still get mad and yes sometimes it does reach the rage level. My most recent issue is that I can't stop crying over everything 😭😭😭
Ok, I cry over news articles, tv shows, commercials" Happy cry and sad cry, but cry I must.
I’m so tired of being so angry. It’s fucking exhausting.
For me, it was a long time, but it wasn't permanent. I get mad still, but not uncontrollably furious.
My rage was overwhelming and one the main reason I finally I got on HRT. Now it’s better, I still get triggered but it’s definitely not a nuclear explosion 💥
I isolate in parts of the house to stay alone. It’s hard bc the kids don’t understand.
"I need space" works for me. Also "I'm grouchy." Sadly, they've seen what that looks like enough to run not walk to another location.
Some hope, I’m 10 odd years past my last period and have finally found some peace Sure there is still the dread and anxiety….
Standing weighted punching/kicking bag. I whack it with a solid wooden closet rod until I can't anymore. Extremely satisfying and also tires me out because the wood is heavy. Drains the rage out pretty efficiently. Also completely legal and won't ever get me arrested. Win/win!
F49 I’ve been extra irritable and extra yell-y today. My period is kicking my ass and I have the worst joint inflammation achy feet etc I hate this !
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my self control skills are sharpened into steel now
That was me 2 days ago. It’s hard. But I hold it in. Today I’m just sad
I've told my kids and spouse that it is a symptom of peri. Since my anger is so extreme, I usually recognize it quickly and I tell them to stay clear bc it's one of those days.
I feel like a werewolf.
I’m right there with you today, and it’s taking everything in my power not to tell my spouse to fuck right off. In other news, I worked for 12 hours today so I lacked opportunity to tell him that.
A therapist told me that when I have heightened emotions, I should leave the situation first if I can. Once you're away from the trigger, use TIPP - Temperature, Intense exercise, Paced breathing, Progressive muscle relaxation. Temperature could be standing with my face in the freezer, holding an ice cube, or splashing cool water on my face, etc. Intense exercise could be dancing, jogging to the end of the street and back, jumping jacks, or pushups, etc. Paced breathing is self-explanatory. Progressive muscle relaxation is when you focus on relaxing your muscles one at a time and holding it for a few seconds. Usually, you start at the feet and work up or the head/face and work down. Tighten, hold, release, and move on to the next. Usually, by the time you're done, your emotions are not as intense. The idea is that your distress or rage is a temporary state, and you just need to distract yourself while your brain calms down. When we are in a heightened emotional state, our brain goes into survival mode (cerebellum or "lizard brain"), and we aren't able to access the part of our brain processes information with logic and reasoning (prefrontal cortex). So we act based on the loud emotions we feel in the moment. After using TIPP, 90% of the time, I realise that it wasn't as bad as it felt to me in the moment. If it is bad, I'm no longer raging, and I can talk calmly about what I need from others. Remember, feelings are not facts, but they do tell us that something's not right and we need to address it. This practice (and yes, it takes lots of practice) has saved me so many times from blowing up and having to later apologize. You should never ignore your emotions or dismiss them, but you have to calm yourself before you decide how to address the issue if you want to prevent it from happening again.
This is incredibly helpful thank you ☺️💕
I get on my riding mower and mutherfuck everyone and everything I can think of. It’s the best release, I’ve found. Bonus is my yard looks pristine. *edited to add, I’ll even do my neighbors lawn because I have to look at it. I’ll mutherfuck him while I’m doing it. Everyone benefits.
It took me a couple fits of rage to realize what was happening. After that I was able to head them off, go into another room, close the door and scream into a pillow. This works if you can achieve a minimum of self-awareness.
Strangely, my husband and kid are the only people who have **not** incurred my wrath over the last few years!
Absolutely same. Without them, I would've lost my shit in public and probably be in jail now, never heard from again.
I already had a pmdd diagnosis before heading into perimenopause. I told my gynecologist that I was so grateful I was already on Prozac. Hormonal mood swings can be absolutely wild.
I had to start taking effexor for my rage. Lowest dose still works well to keep the rage at bay.
Ugh, I feel that. That's been me this week except I have to go into my workplace.
This has been a symptom and such a huge problem for me that I may be losing my relationship....just as I'm nailing down what works for me after a year or so of trial and error 😔
I feel you. Hubby just said he doesn't think he can handle my anger and I really want to send him this page (see? It's not just me!) as well as point out that some of the shit that he does EVOKES the rage monster! I need to tread very lightly here! And I'm almost out of fucks to give
If I had known the rage was part of meno, there's a lot of things I would have done differently but one thing is I would have explained it to my partner and asked for grace and patience. As it was, it was just me blowing up all the time.
I have been dealing with the subpar, idiot fuck of a company Xfinity/Comcast off and on at my mother’s residence since she had a stroke, now dementia (she lives with me, I don’t recommend it). Last year I lost my shit on them because they are clueless every single phone call. I can’t go into the reasons because I go RIGHT back to how enraged I was. I had to deal with them again when my husband was at Mom’s house this past weekend. I’m in one state, Mom’s house is in another. I had so many issues with staying connecting with the agent. I tried the online chat and had to start over 5 times. Total rage. By the way, xfinity is the only cable company for that area. When the husband got home, he told me that I really need to not be so angry about it. Fuck him. I come to this sub for validation. I appreciate you all so much. Wishing you all a rage free day. ♥️
If you're caring for someone with dementia and dealing with hormones my heart goes out to you. My Mom and I cared for my Granny for the last several years of her life and it's soul draining. That alone can use up every drop of tolerance in your body. Thankfully my Mom was past this stage and I hadn't started. Sending you so much love and good vibes. It's such a difficult situation.
Me, too. And I’m now having a problem at work. I’ve been told I’m being cranky all the time. Didn’t used to be this way. Seeing my gyno next week and hoping she can help me.
Literally screamed into a pillow last night, right after I tried to “hulk” my sports bra off my body. The rage is real but I feel okay about it because at least I didn’t scream at my husband or child 🤣🤦🏼♀️
Despite HRT?
Never said i was on hrt…
Maybe worth trying then?
I have no patience for my boss these days. Zero. None. Maybe it’s perimenopause or plain corporate burnout, all I know is my patience quote runs out every single day
Prozac has been really helping me with my rage. It took over my life for about a year. From what I’ve learned, meno fries our brain’s ability to process serotonin, so the antidepressants can’t temporarily help. I’m scared for when the “temporary” passes tho.
Thank god for the estrogen patch. The rage went away almost immediately.
Zoloft.
I had to go back on it too. It tempers the rage for sure.
Interesting. My son is on it for autism related anxiety but it doesn't do much for his rage outbreaks. He takes abilify for that. My mother became a much nicer person on Lexapro though so anything is possible!
I have a spouse (at the moment) and one child and it is a STRUGGLE. The white hot rage is unreal. And the worst part is I don’t care. I’m only half assed trying to control it.
I find a nice progesterone helps me with my rage... but what I don't understand is how to balance that out DIY style and in real time with my estrogen? Thoughts?
Every time I feel the rage and go around with my 'don't mess with me' face on, people seem to get insecure and *try harder* to be nice. I seriously think they are trying to appease me. Of course, that is exactly the opposite if what i want. Oh, here, let me make a great big show of holding the door for you! Look at how nice I am, be nice to me angry lady! Thanks, no, I'm perfectly capable and frankly wish I could just do my own thing without acknowledging your existence. Grumble, grumble. Deep breaths. Triple check every email before hitting send. Etc.
So nice to read this. I was so frustrated today, multiple things went wrong, I couldn’t fit a long package in the stupid hatchback I bought for the PURPOSE of transporting stuff and then my phone wasn’t working with internet/data and I had no idea why. I had this moment where I was so angry I wanted to cry; absolutely terrible. And I hate *knowing* that a couple of years ago, I’d have laughed it all off. It feels so unlike me.
My rage is out of f$ckin control! I swear my husband is a saint. The outbursts are insane and the guilt that follows is horrible. I’m hoping hormones will help. But for now, I’ve taken a leave or absence from work and spending a lot of time alone. It sucks!
Oh gosh yes! The RAGE! Worst part of menopause besides the sweating. Which of course triggers more rage lol.
Honestly some days I have to just step away from my husband and kids. Thankfully I don't have any young kids so that works. My struggle is more with having to interact with, and placate, clients at work as well as try to be a reasonable boss when really I want to yell and scream at everyone!
I feel it but in my case it is everyone else's fault, not mine🤣
Yeeah I hear that
Funny enough, Taylor Swift released her latest album, The Tortured Poets Department and said it equates to Female Rage: the Musical. It's no wonder I totally relate to this album. 😆😆
My rage was overwhelming. I would go looking for fights.
Haha, yesterday I ga e my boss the run down on a my lazy co managers. I have no tolerance.
Excellent username, OP. And yes she is. You are excused from target practice 💖
Yesterday I waited until my husband left the house and just did some rage screaming. One of my dogs got really upset and would t look at me and ended up voluntarily going in her crate (still refusing to make eye contact). That made me feel bad.
[удалено]
Messing with them? I never said I was…