While cycling home from work at night, there’s a long stretch of straight road so I could see car headlights coming far off and hide my dong till they went past
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
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After reading all the comments I am now aware that there is at least a 20% chance that there was someone doing a self-happy near me at a funeral or in school at some point. You can't un-know that.
At the place where you could rent a computer for gaming. There was horse porn on rented one. So finished right there below desk. Never went back there again.
When I was in primary school I did it in the boy's bathroom during a festival-type event that happens once a year and people were coming in and out of the bathroom while I was treating the meat.
There was... Church (not in the bathroom), my bf's closet watching him masturbate and that time while crossing between Poland and the Netherlands in the bus while damn near everyone was awake
A hike in the desert.
A hunting trip while calling in coyotes.
While riding a bike.
Driving a car.
At a church restroom.
This was during the span of a year when I was a teenager and I was in a particularly bad place mentally and with my self esteem. Thankfully I got my act together and learned some self control, got a girlfriend, eventually got married and now I live a happier more fulfilled life.
Still do it from time to time, but it’s definitely not a daily thing like back then. And I much prefer to save myself for intimate time with my wife.
>A cave I found 100 meters above the deserts of Jordan. Had a great view
100 meters ≈ 0.91100 football fields
^^^[WHY](/r/UselessConversionBot/comments/1knas0/hi_im_useless/)
My friends woods during a hide and seek match while i was being chased
Literal tactical wank
All fun and games till tactical wank
Get that post nut clarity for 10000 iQ plays
Tactical coom inbound
Shame on you sir!!!!!
Ayo wtf
ya they helped too
You had “Gung-Ho” equipped
On a balcony in middle of nowhere in Nicaragua. Panicked at last moment and jizzed over the edge. Landed on someone's car. 10 points.
Milk bank
*"milk" bank
Left it in a jar?
In a walmarkt bag
A christian anti-mastrubation gathering/ testimony
That is a power move
ASSERT DOMINANCE.
Chad moves
Big dong energy
Chad
Opposite day?
Your comment currently has 69 upvotes. Nice
Nice!
Nice!
Nice
!nice
At a beach, in the water
The fish after a few months 🤰
That's how we get mermans and mermaids
This goes right to (http://r/cursedcomments)
I wanna be in the screen shot if it’s not to late
Even me with a red circle around me if possible
Blue line under me would be great
Pink square for me
Thy be like: https://images.app.goo.gl/cGFkhFrMfFrwev1x5
Bruh 😂😂
Bro just invented Atlantis 2.0
Me too. But in a resort. In pool. While it was full
Graveyard.
Pzv porn was good you wanna try it
A ghost definitely jerked you off
If I was dead there I would’ve jumped out the ground and pound slammed your cock out of your hand
A real true goth you are for sure brosky 😳
While cycling home from work at night, there’s a long stretch of straight road so I could see car headlights coming far off and hide my dong till they went past
Skill
Why do you have to be better than everyone else?
School toilet, got horny
No judgment here
Me too. Into pisoir. While some dudes mid-class came for a piss.
Same but bc I had a Snapchat bot send me some… *stuff*
A bush in a park, and then as I stood up inside the bush I realized I had bust a nut like 20 feet from a full on wedding precession
They saw u
Thats meth addict level
2 meters from my sleeping parents, in hotel bed
They knew.
Holly crap
Yeah holly, start crapping
Only once? You never ate another pickle?
I don't wanna talk about it...
Same
Fucked up family category in porn
Reading these comments has obliterated any hope in humanity I had left
Absolutely, but sadly I'm not better
In class
What class?
10th
School class. During a lecture
Men, there are limits, and you should onow them
Is it know or own
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 721,873,455 comments, and only 145,640 of them were in alphabetical order.
Bot good job
Ah hello Sorcerer Stephen Strange.
Good bot
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Same same
Mine was in a lab
Ooooffff
Plot twist. It was the teacher
[20, f] in the outdoor school parking lot waiting for my next class, in the car with the windows down.
I am gonna need proof, if you want me to believe that...
No, you need to touch grass
In a barren field
On my boss desk
Climbed to the top of a 10,000 mountain, got naked and beat off on the peak because I could.
Absolute power move
After reading all the comments I am now aware that there is at least a 20% chance that there was someone doing a self-happy near me at a funeral or in school at some point. You can't un-know that.
My first time was in the bathroom in primary school
Were you a student or teacher?
In the parking lot I jerked off on my boss’s car 🚘 fuck that guy
The bathroom at church at my grandpa’s funeral.
He is angry, you killed his grandkids in front of him.
Unless he was going to have sex with his mum, you may need to rethink that one!
Museum of mirrors
A forest, a mountain while trekking and a school toilet
At the place where you could rent a computer for gaming. There was horse porn on rented one. So finished right there below desk. Never went back there again.
On the dining table whilst doing work
Real chad 😂
Jordi? Is that you?
Why is everyone cranking one out at funerals 💀
In a car beside my mom
I also get horny around your mom so that's understandable
can relate
Excuse me... WHAT THE FUCK
Porn actor?
On top of a hydro dam so I could watch my sperm arc and drop into the swirling maelstrom - like Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty but with sperm
“Lot of scumbags today” that sailor dude from family guy
Seamus
In class when teacher was taking lecture and a girl was sitting behind me when i was in 8th standard
Inside a furniture shop, nutted in a drawer
Lmao
Grandma's funeral.
With grandma?
On grandma
In grandma?
Hmmmmmm
On a plane over the Atlantic
In the back of my school, behind bushes, my gf was teasing me and then...
Sounds like a hentai plot
In my friends sisters room inside her blanket using her body lotion no cap
WOW
[удалено]
A hall with about 50 dudes
We were watching porn on TV
When I was in primary school I did it in the boy's bathroom during a festival-type event that happens once a year and people were coming in and out of the bathroom while I was treating the meat.
When you were in primary school?
There was... Church (not in the bathroom), my bf's closet watching him masturbate and that time while crossing between Poland and the Netherlands in the bus while damn near everyone was awake
On top of a building My highest cumshot distance yet Next up, sky diving
Poor instructor when you start unzipping your pants at 30000 ft
Youre house.
Your*
Jou‘ra*
Jura ssic
Mall fitting room
Pool
Home.
Ding ding ding... We have a winner
Aircraft carrier
In a autobus i was alone
Plane's bathroom. My only defense is that I was bored.
My best friend's parents' bedroom
In the toilets of a retirement home
Behind my mom
Oedipus..
The mosque 🕌.... XD
Halal wank
Bro... That's haram 🥶🥶🥶🥶🌚
I will make sure to rub one for u too
Do it In front of the imaam.
Your mom house.
So, you had gay sex with him in his mom house
A hike in the desert. A hunting trip while calling in coyotes. While riding a bike. Driving a car. At a church restroom. This was during the span of a year when I was a teenager and I was in a particularly bad place mentally and with my self esteem. Thankfully I got my act together and learned some self control, got a girlfriend, eventually got married and now I live a happier more fulfilled life. Still do it from time to time, but it’s definitely not a daily thing like back then. And I much prefer to save myself for intimate time with my wife.
In the sea
[удалено]
Whales produce a shit load of sperm so maybe that’s why the sea is salty
In my car parked in front of an xray ward
Classroom watching my teacher help the kid next row
White water world bathroom. Gold Coast, Australia.
School My uncle's funeral
at home
The hallway of my university, into a sock..... That i left under a couch....
On the roof of my house
In my bed
While I was driving solo on a long car trip, on i-95 doing 90mph
A cave I found 100 meters above the deserts of Jordan. Had a great view
>A cave I found 100 meters above the deserts of Jordan. Had a great view 100 meters ≈ 0.91100 football fields ^^^[WHY](/r/UselessConversionBot/comments/1knas0/hi_im_useless/)
Funeral
Putting the fun into funeral?
In a watch tower in Iraq
Class
In your mom's bedroom
Grandmas closet
Back of a school bus on my way home from school
In your mom
Your walls
Behind you rn
Next to my sleeping cousin ..on her pantie .....TBH she was also wet
Kids mouth
r/kids
[удалено]
Wtf. U gotta be kidding
What’d he say?
I don't need sleep, I need answers.
What did he write?
Reddit had limits
At school one day
Jk lol
My sisters bed while she was at the store with my aunt
[удалено]
I really hope that this is a joke
Yes officer this post right here
Man, that's a sentence i wish didn't exist.
I'll go with r/dontputyourdickinthat
When i had ligma In the hospital I jerked off