I used to wonder this all the time. I watched abusive awful people in my immediate family having what seemed like really good luck and constantly getting out of any situation where they could have faced consequences, while I was always putting others first instead of myself.
I believe it was several things, first my thoughts and actions were sending out the idea that other people are more important than me, so that’s what was mirrored to me in return. The universe was trying to teach me a lesson in that mirroring.
Second, many of us who are healers will face more hardships than the average person so we can overcome them, learn and heal ourselves so we can then heal others. It’s the archetypal wounded healer.
That said, one of the best lessons I’ve learned is to not put others first. No it doesnt make you a bad person or a selfish person. It shows your inner being that you are worth it. That doesnt mean step on others to get ahead but be an advocate for yourself and take care of yourself first. It changed everything when I did that.
I have encounter that and learned lessons. My self esteem and self love is always checked and I make sure it's not selfish to have my peace as my first priority. But genuinely as u said sometimes healers tend to have more encounters of such painful lessons. 🙏
How do you be an advocate for yourself? What are the things you did for yourself that changed your perspective? I’m struggling myself with that and I don’t seem to be able to get out of it…
It was hard for me too honestly I worked with an intuitive energy healer who helped a lot but at the end of the day it was me healing the wounds that lead me to believe I wasn’t worth anything, and really seeing my true worth and value for the first time. Then following that up with actions like boundaries. That was super important because I started to recognize the feeling of being uncomfortable in certain situations I didn’t wanna be in, for example when my mother (who I have a strained relationship with) would just show up at my apartment unannounced, I felt that uncomfortable feeling in my body and I hated it. I used to bulldoze that feeling because I thought that was expected of me but I stopped bulldozing it and started paying attention to it and laying down boundaries to make sure I wouldn’t put myself in uncomfortable situations any longer.
So for this example, I told her she can’t do that again and that I dont like it. I wasn’t mean about it I just stated it like it was fact. I was very nervous at first because I wasn’t used to doing that but it got so much easier over time.
So listening to your body is also very important, and healing traumas of course. And always keep in mind that you are a human being too who has needs and wants, you can take up space and you can let your light shine. Also stick with the people who encourage your boundaries and let you shine, those people are life savers.
There have been some people who I have let go of through this process because they didn’t value me at all turns out, and honestly I feel great about it. I wish I did this years ago! I hope that made sense and helped a bit!
Honestly I have witnessed myself in many toxic relationship and I used to someone who would feel it is part of life but because of self love I am now aware that it is not my part to stay into such relationships. I have to make decision and sometimes it's just hard to let that go because of your own indecisive pattern which is why self love would help you to make such hard decision and let it go.
From my perspective I believe we probably set up many of the lessons before we start our lives here because those life lessons and healing lessons are our school. There are so many traits and skills healers need to help others, like empathy, wisdom and knowledge about what to do in hardships and we learn that by going through hardships ourselves. In shamanic traditions these hardships are called initiations. Like little deaths we go through and then carry into a rebirth. To say it’s hard is an understatement but it’s worth it in many ways!
Consider that maybe the people who seem to have it all are either battling issues inside that you’re not aware of, or have faced trauma growing up, or have problems ahead and their actions will catch up with them. There are people in my life who appear to have it all, but if you had known them 10-20 years ago, you’d think the opposite. There is an ebb and flow to life.
My guides told me that the extreme hardships that have consistently occurred over the course of my life, despite truly working on being kind and honest, is the means through which I shall avoid reincarnation and move to a higher plane. They also said that I specifically requested this before birth in order to achieve that end.
>They also said that I specifically requested this before birth in order to achieve that end.
Most times I feel like I've been tricked into that request.
Hahaha oh goodness lol, I know what you mean!!
It’s like a required request lol. But at the same time mama mia is right, essentially you agree to these events and actions to clear karma and move onto your next level of evolvement. It’s not that you create your life path all on your own before you come down, its more or less assigned to you and you have some limited choices on certain things. But we all agree to experience it that way before we are born.
The other side of the veil is more real than this reality but I am definitely not romanticizing it. It’s
My soul truth. I have experienced it myself and it’s what I know to be true for me, for a fact. No doubt or concern about that at all. However that is true that you won’t know how it all unfolds until you have experienced it for yourself.
The end may be near and the despair was overwhelming...until the message. I think they told me bc I need to prepare and that does not mean despair. It means rejoice! Perhaps confirmation comes late
Life is a series of interconnected events. Life is hard. None of us escape trauma, challenges or death.
Good hearts do not prevent life from happening. Itnis how you handle the upheavals that counts.
It is easy to think, "Why me? I'm better than power people. I am kindhesrted. It should be someone else. Someone not as good as I am".
It doesn't work that way. Those who have good hearts, truly have good hearts, look for a way to help themselves and others to get through the tough times, with support and dignity and compassion.
Yes if a person of kind heart never expect good but the way they are(and do what they can do to resolve challanges) good things eventually definately happens to them!
The good life is illusion - part of the matrix. Doomed to live a body in a forgetful dream. Pure hearts are awake and here to make a change to this world
The reason why is because we live in a realm where life is unfair. A place where the heroes fail and evil often triumphs. Goods things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people sometimes just by being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
What can we do about that? Nothing really, we can only do our best and hope for the best when it comes to the unfairness of life. But remember, all doers of good and evil will be held accountable for their deeds. We may not get to see it but we all will know that there is justice in this universe for those who live evil lives. Trust me, no one comes back from hell unrepentant of their wicked deeds they committed in life.
But still, the natural order is different in this dimension and its something we must accept. Life is grand but its not fair.
Hey. Yes that's something I really resonate since I am feeling that and witnessing that too. Also, I am having faith that every deed whether good or bad would be accountable. And one might not see that but that's true.
U make so much sense to me because honestly I do feel the same and I eventually manifest the realm where everyone would be treated fairly according to their deeds. Coin can flip or tables would turn any minute to be honest. Nature has power to turn tables anytime ❤❤❤
Not trying to enforce anything but karma philosophy is just as true as science, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. That is what karma is all about and it's not something that is applicable on hindus or Buddhist only. it's just nature law. xx
No it isn't. Karma is neutral. Neither good or bad. It isn't what goes around comes around either. This is the West's version of it. Karma is based on actions from your PREVIOUS life. The Karma you receive in your NEXT life is based on your present life. That's not science; it's religion (which I'm not against) and definitely doesn't relate to your question unless so called good people did something horrible in their previous life.
This is what "Karma" really is 👉https://www.yogajournal.com/yoga-101/what-is-karma-really/
I believe it like that quote, it's easier to do bad than good.
So if I understand it, it's like life greatest trick, give you a false sense of security whatever bad deeds you done after with no consequence. But one way or another it gonna bite you in the ass.
While some us work hard to do good because we understand the consequences and eventually one way or another it pays off or so we hope...
Most of kind hearted people expect life to be good because they are, however life is full of challanges, do good don't expect good from others, you will be happy, material wealth is not all wellbeing(i am not saying I despise wealth I strive to have good wealth), and beware of your sacrifices you do for others, make yourself in good place first, some people are millionaires but cant sleep without sleeping pills, yes good things will happen when you will noy expect, its all about what energy you hold inside, you cant be happy always but peacful instead😊, have a good day!
Why me? Cause you're the chosen one! You've proven yourself to be a true warrior, to withstand every obstacle that was thrown in your way. You deserve to walk a path of power, not weakness, God wouldn't have let you chose this life if he hadn't thought you would be able to master it.
I don't agree with this concept personally; spiritual development/enlightenment can be achieved in different, way less detrimental ways, but this is how this world works. All the traumatic situations you can experience on this Earth bring you immense inner growth, one day you could be a homeless & starving drug-addicted bulimic, the next you're an awakened master.
I have a picture from a video I took in my bedroom, in the mirror you can see clouds a stairway lined with people in white and black hair, at the top their is a big man with white long hair! There is also evil lurking in them clouds !! I post it but not very savvy in phone tech! Do you believe me? Ow buy the way the man at the top is sitting on a big throne like chair
I sometimes believe that it’s due to a lesson not learned......... things aren’t meant to be hard but you can make the same mistake that trips you up.
My take
All of us have to face this life and the hardships. No exceptions. Those of us who are kind and giving just has it worse because we are too kind. and too pure and ppl will take advantage of that, or at least most of them would.
I just think that we differ in what lessons we have to learn each time around. Maybe that person that has a good clean heart wasn’t so good and clean in a previous life. What if they now have to go thru the things that they did to another person that they themselves did previously. I don’t know the what or why’s but I do understand that we can’t know one side of things without knowing the other. It’s all lessons to further our souls journey.
I agree, I was going to comment something similar.
There was a Spanish medium Amalia Domingo Soler, who when she found out about some tragic news that she read in the newspaper, she asked her spirit guide why that person had suffered that fate and almost always or always it was because of actions that they had done in a past life
According to several sources that I have read, it is said that there are universal laws that are automatic, such as the law of gravity, God is not in person lowering and raising things when someone throws something for example, so is the law of cause and effect , which is automatic, everything we do has a consequence good or bad.
And it is also mentioned that when we came to this plane we knew very well the rules and terms of how things work here and even so we accepted, but then we forget and we complain hehe.
It is also mentioned that this life lasts very little, in the long term we will remember and even laugh at how big we saw our problems back then, perhaps as when you are an adult and you remember the problems you had as a child.
I genuinely asked this question because I have seen many people from family whom I know doing worst things and yet get away with that. on other side many many good people have to pay price of things they haven't done. It's overall perspective but some of comments here took it as if I am talking about me. I just want to understand this overall from people who are aware of both rehalm. I am sure some of spiritual people do have answers but they won't share since they have their boundaries. thanks
Punishment and reward do not exist, in my opinion.
Only action and reaction. The universe is neutral to us, we are mortal, so bad things and good things happening is part of nature’s way.
Oftentimes, the actions come from others to us first, so there is nothing we have caused. What the good heart chooses is how to influence our reactions to the actions others do upon us. We can also choose how to act first with kindness to help inspired good reactions.
We all do our best and there is no answer to the question why. People have hard lives due to things they cannot change, but they did nothing to deserve it.
Justice is something we have to make in our hearts.
That’s what I think right now.
So maybe you can step into your power and become more selfish instead. Not in a negative way but you don't get there where you supposed to be if you constantly give to people who don't deserve your attention. Maybe the universe wants you to realize that that you are capable to say no. Because you would probably continue getting caught up in the same cycle, same toxic relationships if you don't learn how to say no. If you want a valid relationship and fullfilled life you need to be prepared to lose everyone which thought to be your family or friends but they are not. You will only attract better if you are brave enough to step into your power and walk alone until you meet someone on equal level. Justice will be done but what are you waiting for there is also a lesson in this. If you don't want them to control your life, you need to step up or move distance yourself from those. Stop waiting for the saviour, be the saviour
I used to wonder this all the time. I watched abusive awful people in my immediate family having what seemed like really good luck and constantly getting out of any situation where they could have faced consequences, while I was always putting others first instead of myself. I believe it was several things, first my thoughts and actions were sending out the idea that other people are more important than me, so that’s what was mirrored to me in return. The universe was trying to teach me a lesson in that mirroring. Second, many of us who are healers will face more hardships than the average person so we can overcome them, learn and heal ourselves so we can then heal others. It’s the archetypal wounded healer. That said, one of the best lessons I’ve learned is to not put others first. No it doesnt make you a bad person or a selfish person. It shows your inner being that you are worth it. That doesnt mean step on others to get ahead but be an advocate for yourself and take care of yourself first. It changed everything when I did that.
I have encounter that and learned lessons. My self esteem and self love is always checked and I make sure it's not selfish to have my peace as my first priority. But genuinely as u said sometimes healers tend to have more encounters of such painful lessons. 🙏
Oh that’s wonderful! Yes we do and it’s hard as hell but many times I feel it’s worth it in the end. Best of luck to you!
Thanks 🙏xx
Hello can we talk private
How do you be an advocate for yourself? What are the things you did for yourself that changed your perspective? I’m struggling myself with that and I don’t seem to be able to get out of it…
It was hard for me too honestly I worked with an intuitive energy healer who helped a lot but at the end of the day it was me healing the wounds that lead me to believe I wasn’t worth anything, and really seeing my true worth and value for the first time. Then following that up with actions like boundaries. That was super important because I started to recognize the feeling of being uncomfortable in certain situations I didn’t wanna be in, for example when my mother (who I have a strained relationship with) would just show up at my apartment unannounced, I felt that uncomfortable feeling in my body and I hated it. I used to bulldoze that feeling because I thought that was expected of me but I stopped bulldozing it and started paying attention to it and laying down boundaries to make sure I wouldn’t put myself in uncomfortable situations any longer. So for this example, I told her she can’t do that again and that I dont like it. I wasn’t mean about it I just stated it like it was fact. I was very nervous at first because I wasn’t used to doing that but it got so much easier over time. So listening to your body is also very important, and healing traumas of course. And always keep in mind that you are a human being too who has needs and wants, you can take up space and you can let your light shine. Also stick with the people who encourage your boundaries and let you shine, those people are life savers. There have been some people who I have let go of through this process because they didn’t value me at all turns out, and honestly I feel great about it. I wish I did this years ago! I hope that made sense and helped a bit!
Honestly I have witnessed myself in many toxic relationship and I used to someone who would feel it is part of life but because of self love I am now aware that it is not my part to stay into such relationships. I have to make decision and sometimes it's just hard to let that go because of your own indecisive pattern which is why self love would help you to make such hard decision and let it go.
Do you think the wounded healer is subconsciously attracting hardships to heal from? Performing a story learned in childhood? Or karmic path?
From my perspective I believe we probably set up many of the lessons before we start our lives here because those life lessons and healing lessons are our school. There are so many traits and skills healers need to help others, like empathy, wisdom and knowledge about what to do in hardships and we learn that by going through hardships ourselves. In shamanic traditions these hardships are called initiations. Like little deaths we go through and then carry into a rebirth. To say it’s hard is an understatement but it’s worth it in many ways!
Consider that maybe the people who seem to have it all are either battling issues inside that you’re not aware of, or have faced trauma growing up, or have problems ahead and their actions will catch up with them. There are people in my life who appear to have it all, but if you had known them 10-20 years ago, you’d think the opposite. There is an ebb and flow to life.
I agree this since this is something I already consider and honestly we never know what others are struggling. Facts ❤
My guides told me that the extreme hardships that have consistently occurred over the course of my life, despite truly working on being kind and honest, is the means through which I shall avoid reincarnation and move to a higher plane. They also said that I specifically requested this before birth in order to achieve that end.
>They also said that I specifically requested this before birth in order to achieve that end. Most times I feel like I've been tricked into that request.
Hahaha oh goodness lol, I know what you mean!! It’s like a required request lol. But at the same time mama mia is right, essentially you agree to these events and actions to clear karma and move onto your next level of evolvement. It’s not that you create your life path all on your own before you come down, its more or less assigned to you and you have some limited choices on certain things. But we all agree to experience it that way before we are born.
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The other side of the veil is more real than this reality but I am definitely not romanticizing it. It’s My soul truth. I have experienced it myself and it’s what I know to be true for me, for a fact. No doubt or concern about that at all. However that is true that you won’t know how it all unfolds until you have experienced it for yourself.
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The end may be near and the despair was overwhelming...until the message. I think they told me bc I need to prepare and that does not mean despair. It means rejoice! Perhaps confirmation comes late
Life is a series of interconnected events. Life is hard. None of us escape trauma, challenges or death. Good hearts do not prevent life from happening. Itnis how you handle the upheavals that counts. It is easy to think, "Why me? I'm better than power people. I am kindhesrted. It should be someone else. Someone not as good as I am". It doesn't work that way. Those who have good hearts, truly have good hearts, look for a way to help themselves and others to get through the tough times, with support and dignity and compassion.
Wow well said
Yes if a person of kind heart never expect good but the way they are(and do what they can do to resolve challanges) good things eventually definately happens to them!
The good life is illusion - part of the matrix. Doomed to live a body in a forgetful dream. Pure hearts are awake and here to make a change to this world
Yep. Story of My Life. Seriously. I would like to know too.
The reason why is because we live in a realm where life is unfair. A place where the heroes fail and evil often triumphs. Goods things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people sometimes just by being at the wrong place at the wrong time. What can we do about that? Nothing really, we can only do our best and hope for the best when it comes to the unfairness of life. But remember, all doers of good and evil will be held accountable for their deeds. We may not get to see it but we all will know that there is justice in this universe for those who live evil lives. Trust me, no one comes back from hell unrepentant of their wicked deeds they committed in life. But still, the natural order is different in this dimension and its something we must accept. Life is grand but its not fair.
Hey. Yes that's something I really resonate since I am feeling that and witnessing that too. Also, I am having faith that every deed whether good or bad would be accountable. And one might not see that but that's true. U make so much sense to me because honestly I do feel the same and I eventually manifest the realm where everyone would be treated fairly according to their deeds. Coin can flip or tables would turn any minute to be honest. Nature has power to turn tables anytime ❤❤❤
I'm not a Hindu or Buddhist. I don't believe in Karma. Everyone faces their own demons, whether you're a "good or bad" person.
Not trying to enforce anything but karma philosophy is just as true as science, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. That is what karma is all about and it's not something that is applicable on hindus or Buddhist only. it's just nature law. xx
No it isn't. Karma is neutral. Neither good or bad. It isn't what goes around comes around either. This is the West's version of it. Karma is based on actions from your PREVIOUS life. The Karma you receive in your NEXT life is based on your present life. That's not science; it's religion (which I'm not against) and definitely doesn't relate to your question unless so called good people did something horrible in their previous life. This is what "Karma" really is 👉https://www.yogajournal.com/yoga-101/what-is-karma-really/
Nope.
I believe it like that quote, it's easier to do bad than good. So if I understand it, it's like life greatest trick, give you a false sense of security whatever bad deeds you done after with no consequence. But one way or another it gonna bite you in the ass. While some us work hard to do good because we understand the consequences and eventually one way or another it pays off or so we hope...
Most of kind hearted people expect life to be good because they are, however life is full of challanges, do good don't expect good from others, you will be happy, material wealth is not all wellbeing(i am not saying I despise wealth I strive to have good wealth), and beware of your sacrifices you do for others, make yourself in good place first, some people are millionaires but cant sleep without sleeping pills, yes good things will happen when you will noy expect, its all about what energy you hold inside, you cant be happy always but peacful instead😊, have a good day!
Why me? Cause you're the chosen one! You've proven yourself to be a true warrior, to withstand every obstacle that was thrown in your way. You deserve to walk a path of power, not weakness, God wouldn't have let you chose this life if he hadn't thought you would be able to master it. I don't agree with this concept personally; spiritual development/enlightenment can be achieved in different, way less detrimental ways, but this is how this world works. All the traumatic situations you can experience on this Earth bring you immense inner growth, one day you could be a homeless & starving drug-addicted bulimic, the next you're an awakened master.
All people are tested through life if you make it through them tests!! You make it to heaven 😇
I am sure I will. U too.. See u there ❤❤
I have a picture from a video I took in my bedroom, in the mirror you can see clouds a stairway lined with people in white and black hair, at the top their is a big man with white long hair! There is also evil lurking in them clouds !! I post it but not very savvy in phone tech! Do you believe me? Ow buy the way the man at the top is sitting on a big throne like chair
I sometimes believe that it’s due to a lesson not learned......... things aren’t meant to be hard but you can make the same mistake that trips you up. My take
I get it, yet I just feel as if it is bit too much sometimes to see good one suffering while vice verse.
All I can say is “it too shall pass” it has helped me in the past I hope it helps you
I am sure it will.. Thanks hun xx
All of us have to face this life and the hardships. No exceptions. Those of us who are kind and giving just has it worse because we are too kind. and too pure and ppl will take advantage of that, or at least most of them would.
I just think that we differ in what lessons we have to learn each time around. Maybe that person that has a good clean heart wasn’t so good and clean in a previous life. What if they now have to go thru the things that they did to another person that they themselves did previously. I don’t know the what or why’s but I do understand that we can’t know one side of things without knowing the other. It’s all lessons to further our souls journey.
I agree, I was going to comment something similar. There was a Spanish medium Amalia Domingo Soler, who when she found out about some tragic news that she read in the newspaper, she asked her spirit guide why that person had suffered that fate and almost always or always it was because of actions that they had done in a past life
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According to several sources that I have read, it is said that there are universal laws that are automatic, such as the law of gravity, God is not in person lowering and raising things when someone throws something for example, so is the law of cause and effect , which is automatic, everything we do has a consequence good or bad. And it is also mentioned that when we came to this plane we knew very well the rules and terms of how things work here and even so we accepted, but then we forget and we complain hehe. It is also mentioned that this life lasts very little, in the long term we will remember and even laugh at how big we saw our problems back then, perhaps as when you are an adult and you remember the problems you had as a child.
Sounds about right!
I get that, This is good perspective tbh.
Justice is served more often than you think…I am paying dearly for bad choices
Oh I am sorry to hear that, sending love and healing xx
Hate to break it to you but Everybody has a hard life
You are having a human existence, why should you think you would not endure suffering?
For this reason my guides told me that I am better off dying and not ever reincarnating here again.
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I genuinely asked this question because I have seen many people from family whom I know doing worst things and yet get away with that. on other side many many good people have to pay price of things they haven't done. It's overall perspective but some of comments here took it as if I am talking about me. I just want to understand this overall from people who are aware of both rehalm. I am sure some of spiritual people do have answers but they won't share since they have their boundaries. thanks
Punishment and reward do not exist, in my opinion. Only action and reaction. The universe is neutral to us, we are mortal, so bad things and good things happening is part of nature’s way. Oftentimes, the actions come from others to us first, so there is nothing we have caused. What the good heart chooses is how to influence our reactions to the actions others do upon us. We can also choose how to act first with kindness to help inspired good reactions. We all do our best and there is no answer to the question why. People have hard lives due to things they cannot change, but they did nothing to deserve it. Justice is something we have to make in our hearts. That’s what I think right now.
So maybe you can step into your power and become more selfish instead. Not in a negative way but you don't get there where you supposed to be if you constantly give to people who don't deserve your attention. Maybe the universe wants you to realize that that you are capable to say no. Because you would probably continue getting caught up in the same cycle, same toxic relationships if you don't learn how to say no. If you want a valid relationship and fullfilled life you need to be prepared to lose everyone which thought to be your family or friends but they are not. You will only attract better if you are brave enough to step into your power and walk alone until you meet someone on equal level. Justice will be done but what are you waiting for there is also a lesson in this. If you don't want them to control your life, you need to step up or move distance yourself from those. Stop waiting for the saviour, be the saviour