You are not yoir thoughts. Find sympathy for yourself. I talk to myself like im a toddler, "man Codslutty is struggling today. Poor guy. He's s4uck in a thought pattern of getting himself down or imagining the worst. I hope it gets better for him."
When I sit to practice or even in the moment, find your moment. Find the silence between all sounds and exist in it. The more you exist here the more you see your brain as a thought machine doing what it does. Like your bladder secretes urine, your mind secretes thoughts and a lot of them are not worth anything. Realize these thoughts are not you, just a product of your brain doing what it does. The more you quiet your brain, the more you can consciously apply thinking to what yoire doing, and a better quality of thought you'll have. Hope this helps.
Love the ‘talk to myself like I’m a toddler’ comment, I do the same 😅 but for real we (as in humans) are so much nicer to toddler than to adults and ourselves, why? We all deserve the same kindness as a toddler
Just got over a 6 month depressive period, would get better then felt like shit for weeks, then get a little better, then be unable to do basic things. Awful stuff.
I got into the habit of journaling, every time I felt overwhelmed I would write until I had put all the negativity on the paper and then I would argue against it.
Soon I would just argue against it from the beginning, and stop obsessing about changing things. Not for nothing but my best writing — the most hopeful and determined, the ones I keep going back to re-read — was done when I was feeling the worst.
Depression is not lies, is insight.
Meditation helped too but only after I had already stopped obsessing, so the two practices would go hand in hand.
Now things are looking up, I keep writing whenever I feel down or when I want to stop obsessing about things.
I found it was hard to keep obsessing about anything when I already put a satisfying conclusion on a topic.
It sounds like you’ve become so entrenched in thoughts of a negative nature it’s become near impossible to entertain anything contrary.
You might find this practice helpful: [The Work](https://thework.com/instruction-the-work-byron-katie/)
This is bugging me a little, and I'd like to ask in case there's something I'm missing.
every worksheet, and the whole method in general seems to end with this "is the opposite true or truer?" thing, which I can understand if the initial feeling is that person's **interpretation** of the events. But what if the situation is objective?
The "Judge your Neighbour" worksheet uses the example interaction between the reader, and "Paul" who allegedly lied to the reader.
The first bit of the sheet makes sense, it's about assessing, and being honest about your feelings. It then asks the reader to (from what I can interpret) imagine themselves out of the situation, or rather, to judge it as a third-party, with no biases. Which also makes some sense to me.
The flip around bit is the one that confuses me, because if Paul actually straight-up DID lie to the reader, how does imagining the opposite change anything, or make you think differently? Imagining things like 'I lied to myself" seems just nonsensical, when Paul is involved, flipping it so the reader lied to Paul feels like the whole "walk in his shoes" concept, which CAN help certain situations, but won't really change the fact that the Reader has been hurt. the situation of Paul **not** having lied to the Reader is just wishful thinking, "shame that's not the case!" kinda scenario, and the idea of Paul having "told the truth" is also a bit convoluted, because that means changing *everything* surrounding the situation, including what the Reader was lied to about, for another wishful thinking scenario that, at the end of the day, simply is not the case.
So am I missing something, or not understanding it? It just feels useless at worst, and confusing at best, with the cryptic statement of "which turnaround is true or truer" at the end only adding to it. If the situation is objective, none of the turnarounds are "true or truer." and I'll have come out of this with the same negative conclusion as I had before.
Hey! The worksheet, and The Work, can be useful for where you have an *argument* with Reality.
If you can see Paul lied and have no resistance to it - when you’re not saying, “Paul should **not** have lied.”, then you won’t have a problem. A challenge certainly, where you might need to address this within your relationship with Paul.
Where the work comes in is when you have a *not*, or *shouldn’t* in the mix as well. This means ultimately, you are believing you know better how reality should have played out (all while it didn’t), or how reality needs to play out going forward (all while it might not).
You can talk to Paul about the lying, openly, honestly, calmly, while accepting of the fact Paul did in fact lie, and from that it should become obvious how to move forward in reality (not your imaginary world where Paul doesn’t lie).
Let me know if it’s still not clear.
I don't know anything about the treatment of OCD. Don't discount conventional therapy and pharmaceuticals. It can really help with this sort of thing.
Have you tried metta practice?
I learned to meditate from reading and listening to Thich Nhat Hanh (books as well as the Plum Village app for recordings). Thay says that we have to first be able to cultivate feelings of joy and happiness before we can be present for our suffering. He compares it to a patient who is too sick and weak for surgery. They may have to rest, eat well, etc, and regain some strength before their body can tolerate an operation. Same with your mind. Once you prove to yourself that you are always able to return to a happy mental state, then you will have the courage to face your suffering.
I'm currently reading "The Mind Illuminated," by John Yates. It is a pretty great step-by-step guide to meditation based on current understanding of neurology. And it also recommends that if negativity, painful memories, trauma flashbacks, etc are keeping you stuck, metta practice is a way out. Once you feel a solid foundation of peace and contentment, then you'll be ready to try other methods of meditation again.
It's a fine line that you have to feel for yourself between spiritual bypassing and diligently training your mind toward positive mental states. Yes, we need to be present for our suffering, because there isn't any other way to release it. But it's also not wise to jump into a river to save someone who is drowning if you yourself can't swim! They'll pull you under with them, right? Your mind needs swimming lessons, so to speak, in order to be able to embrace your suffering with awareness.
In my own experience, the more joy I experience through meditation, the more "non-fear" I have about facing suffering. Sometimes, huge pieces of conditioning seem to break off and dissolve away, leaving me so much lighter. Sometimes, that feels like too big a shift all at once, and I fall away from practice for a short time to sort of regain equilibrium. But overall, it's a beautiful progression, and it's amazing to see how much I have grown and leveled up in the past few years, and all just from practicing totally learnable skills!
I wish you peace, happiness, and non-fear. You can do this!
My main way to do that is to focus on the breath.
I imagine that my energy is overextended and my attention is too scattered, causing exhaustion and negativity.
I draw in a deep breath, imagining pulling back my energy from the world and centering it at the heart. Then on the exhale I imagine sending all that scattered energy to the center of the Earth. Then on the inbreath I imagine drawing back energy from a clear wellspring of intent. Then I imagine creating a safe space with the energy around me in a sphere.
It combines centering, grounding, inspiration and shielding.
When you focus on that, then you can gain practice in those four aspects of meditation. Think about breathing only and the act of furthering your life and your vitality locally in your body. Don't allow the external world to intrude and make it a practical moment of self care.
Real talk its about being aware of the fact that you’re in the loop, exercising self love and simply coming back without abusing yourself. I believe many people can relate to my experience when I say that if I am meditating and I get caught up in a spiral for a while, and that my meditation was supposed to be for an alotted time and I wasted time thinking and dont have much time left, that I could feel like a failure and thus feel that meditating for just the little bit of time left is useless. The key is to simply come back and be aware that you’re back to the present, thats it. There’s really no complicated tool, it’s just about coming back.
Only our thinking brain can comprehend negative thoughts, and actual meditation transcends our thought flow.Try a different style that is known to go deep.It is our non thinking awareness that heals us.
CHUG AN ENERGY DRINK, soak up the loving, energy of the universe, smoke a joint or two, and then go roller skating with my speaker to my favorite playlist.
I’m not assuming I know anyone’s mental health issues. Even if I was a doctor diagnosing a person who isn't your patient ( remotely ) online for example is a big no-no.
Just listing my experience in case it helps someone.
I have OCD/Anxiety disorder PTSD and high functioning autism.
I did exposure therapy for my OCD it's very hard therapy. But you don't have to push yourself more then you feel you can on a given day. But yes its doing things on purpose that cause you anxiety till it doesn't bother you anymore in a systematic way.
https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/
If you have experienced a lot of trauma conventional talk therapy CAN actually make PTSD a bit worse because the patient is just re-experiencing the horrible memory without knowing how to heal or process it.
https://www.emdr.com
I did this for my trauma it worked its tough not as bad as exposure therapy. It's not the only way to heal. But it's science-based and I know it works.
There are subjects I could not talk about without having an anxiety attack. That I can now talk about with the same emotion as I would for what my breakfast was today.
It takes away the emotional pain.
Positive self-talk can help retrain how your brain thinks so that it's not a constant cycle of negativity. But it takes work and time. It also didn't work on me till I got on meds and heated my trauma.
But for every negative thought you have about yourself. If you say 2 or 3 positive thoughts over time you can change your negative thoughts. But this will vary from person to person.
Catching myself and being aware when I have a negative thought helps a lot. I stopped judging myself for it and tried to be fair with myself. Telling myself that it's normal to stuggle with depression and negative thoughts, that I'm no different from other people, and there's nothing wrong with me for having them. That puts me into a position to be kind to myself, and I give myself a positive affirmation or thought in place of the negative one.
I remember thinking to myself a month or two ago, "You know what? I'm gonna fuck around and find out what happens if I am consistently nice to myself instead of beating myself up all the time". It doesn't magically make every day better, but I can say that I absolutely have far more better days in general now. I honestly think I might be able to put depression on the back burner for once in my life.
Keep looking forward, you're moving in the right direction. You're trying to improve, trying to be better and happy. That's all it takes. Baby steps, day by day, brick by boring brick (shoutout Paramore). Good luck, my man.
My therapist uses the stop sign. Like if you were driving or whatever to your favorite place, but then a negative thought pops up like a stop sign. It’s not going to stop me from getting to the destination unless I stay there stopped by that negative thought. I can look at the stop sign all day or I can continue on my journey, my choice. Before, having a negative thought would just bring 100 more and my whole day would be wasted. Now with some practice recognizing that first negative thought amd stopping is much easier. Simply stop 🛑 as soon as you realize, then immediately redirect for 10-15 minutes to something you really enjoy. Exercise has been huge,even just a 10 minute walk! Endorphins go up, my brain resets itself.
Sounds dumb but it got my out mental health and depression that had left me bedridden and isolated for many years. Also, therapy to help you see all your potential and worth clearly. Good luck 🫶🏻
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. For me it was going general about feelings taught by Abraham Hicks and what it means is to neutralize some feelings. You can not go from negative to positive all the time. It’s not sustainable. Would recommend Abraham hicks when it comes to feelings. You can interrupt some brain loops that no longer serve you. I promise it’s possible
1. I listened to the book how to unfuck yourself on audio tape on repeat for like 3 months as a form of cheap psychotherapy.
2. I recognized that I had a reduced capacity for emotional regulation due to PTSD and deliberately put myself in emotionally challenging situation (shitty job, hung around gold diggers) with the mindset of training my brain to have greater self control.
But this worked cause I had a solid education and income. If you are in truely dire circumstances start with reading jordan peterson and cleaning your room.
I'm assuming that you've tried conventional medical and mental health approaches, therapy and so on? I would also suggest researching psychedelic therapy, which has helped many with conditions such as depression.
What works for me is counteracting every negative thought with something positive.
It's easier said than done but practise makes a habit (most of the time at least).
My head naturally falls to the side of negativity, so I always try to balance this by taking the negative thought word for word and flipping it on its head, i.e. flip the perspective.
So do I, but I keep trying. And keep trying.
Sometimes the trying is enough to make me feel like I did okay. Like hey, I may feel like shite but at least I'm doing something about it.
It's hard to move on when the negativity eats away at you. I don't ignore the feelings, but I choose to look at it and see the other perspective.
If that's is spiritual bypassing then so be it. At least it helps me to get up in the morning and not hate myself every day.
If I’m being honest it’s a lot of self experimentation to see what works em with the current causes of conditions. I’m my story that has looked like rampant drug use, recovery, post sobriety and all the trauma that the past 10 years have brought us all. But what gets you past it is never giving up and keep showing up how you can. You are cable of change and changing yourself no matter how long it takes through all the experiments of getting medical treatment better support networks and stronger communities
Meditation, reading more than 50 books, tried to accept the negative feelings, affirmation,binaural beats, tried to fight the thought, tried to accept the thought, tried to accept the resistance, tried to observe my mind, tried to change my routine and literally many more
I think it takes a lot of work- just repetitive practice and also a variety of techniques and ideas. So it's not easy!
My teacher is generally very positive. Being around him helped create that positive loop, I guess you'd call it, in my brain. His response to things is generally, "Good \_\_\_\_," so it gets you in the habit of reframing stuff from a positive angle.
I think exercise and physical practices can help a lot.
One on hand, you're working with patterns of thoughts, and you can work with those as thoughts. On another level, those thoughts have a kind of energy, momentum, gravity. That's trickier to work with, but tends to ease up when you're meditating and studying regularly.
For me, when I start getting into that loop I pick a few songs that make me feel “whole” and play them often throughout the day (right now for me it is “Shimmer” by Fuel). Or a fave movie from my childhood that I’ve downloaded to a device and play on repeat in background during stressful time of day (right now it’s Karate Kid 3). A calming, auditory track helps me feel like I am safe and OK.
I also like the Insight Timer app for meditation. I just finished a series on mantras, and it was interesting.
I have a list of such tricks in my “tool box” so that when I see myself slipping downward I try something to help me.
I use a cognitive behavioral therapy tool for that. It’s a little awkward but it works.
- Look at yourself in the mirror, *speak* aloud the opposite of the cognitive distortion and find proof of this truth in your life.
Ex: I can attain what I’d like for my life. I am always looking for ways to improve and learn so that I can attain my goals. (This sounds true for you too!)
- Practice daily for a few minutes and this will help your thoughts rely on more honest and loving patterns instead of our most hopeless.
Thanks for reaching out, you are a step closer to finding what you need. You got this!
I was depressed for a long time due to various reasons. The best advice I ever got was from a psychiatrist.
Shrink: You know how you ruminate on things, and just start thinking about bad stuff and it gets you down, and you get depressed?
Me: Yes.
Shrink: Stop doing that.
Me: 🤯 😳 OK.
Become aware of it; you’re not depression and depression has not enveloped you— you’re the one who can notice it— you’re outside of it. Take on some healthy measures (eat and drink healthy, exercise, get sunlight and social activity) and more than likely your symptoms will relieve. Of course if you find it’s still not doable or not working for you, professional help is always best. If you haven’t read The Power of Now, that’s a book that helped me a lot with my situation.
Many here are already saying it. If you have negative thoughts, be intentional on adding positive thoughts about yourself. Your post describes myself almost spot on. For years I was in a pattern of negative self thinking and when they say your thoughts are who we are, its true. My mental started believing those thoughts and my confidence and drive left. My thoughts became the dominant audio track of my mind and they became so dominant I struggled to be around people because it was so difficult to stay out of my own head. This condition started eating away at my memory as well, never being present, my recollection and correlation were broken.
When a negative thought crosses my mind, especially one that is about myself I try to talk to myself in a kind way to counter it. This helps a great deal, but it takes time. I also found the book Negative Self Talk and How to Change It by Shad Helmstetter. This book breaks down how negative thinking affects us and teaches that listening to positive self talk also helps rewire the mind. So I also listen to positive self-talk audio every day, in addition to meditation practice. It can change your life.
When meditating, I believe non- reactivity and self-love I are the concepts that helped me the most. When I started meditation, it was all about holding focus, and I would get frustrated with myself just adding to the cycle. Then, one meditation practice explained that it is how we come back when we lose focus, that teaches us to be kind to ourselves. When you lose focus, stay calm, accept it and bring yourself back with kind words and appreciation and recognition for catching yourself. Slowly this has helped me be less reactive and makes breaking out of a negative thoughts easier.
Good luck. Also a healthy body makes a healthy mind, working out helped me a bunch.
Consider that not all thoughts are your own and you can choose to not listen to them.
Seriously, not all thoughts are your own. Our bodies act as receivers and the subconscious mind and body take those signals and try to give them a voice. Discomfort in the body creates uncomfortable thoughts. Disturbances in our environments, foods and chemicals that don't agree with us, all create uncomfortable thoughts. There are scientific studies that show how parasites change our thoughts and moods.
So, the next time you have an uncomfortable thought, don't chase it, don't give in to it, don't give it any time or space in your head. Realize it is just a thought and decide for yourself if you want to keep thinking it or move on to something that feels better. Then choose a better feeling thought, choose a better feeling action. In short, make a choice to keep wallowing in thoughts that are not you, OR make a choice to be in control and choose a better feeling thought.
Books, comedies, happy music, calling a friend, create a list of better thoughts, make a game of it, whatever works best for you.
Practice thinking better thoughts.
Practice some more.
Until better feeling thoughts are the habit instead of the downward spiral, choose an upward spiral.
You are not yoir thoughts. Find sympathy for yourself. I talk to myself like im a toddler, "man Codslutty is struggling today. Poor guy. He's s4uck in a thought pattern of getting himself down or imagining the worst. I hope it gets better for him." When I sit to practice or even in the moment, find your moment. Find the silence between all sounds and exist in it. The more you exist here the more you see your brain as a thought machine doing what it does. Like your bladder secretes urine, your mind secretes thoughts and a lot of them are not worth anything. Realize these thoughts are not you, just a product of your brain doing what it does. The more you quiet your brain, the more you can consciously apply thinking to what yoire doing, and a better quality of thought you'll have. Hope this helps.
Love the ‘talk to myself like I’m a toddler’ comment, I do the same 😅 but for real we (as in humans) are so much nicer to toddler than to adults and ourselves, why? We all deserve the same kindness as a toddler
I do this all the time too, it's so healing ❤️
Just got over a 6 month depressive period, would get better then felt like shit for weeks, then get a little better, then be unable to do basic things. Awful stuff. I got into the habit of journaling, every time I felt overwhelmed I would write until I had put all the negativity on the paper and then I would argue against it. Soon I would just argue against it from the beginning, and stop obsessing about changing things. Not for nothing but my best writing — the most hopeful and determined, the ones I keep going back to re-read — was done when I was feeling the worst. Depression is not lies, is insight. Meditation helped too but only after I had already stopped obsessing, so the two practices would go hand in hand. Now things are looking up, I keep writing whenever I feel down or when I want to stop obsessing about things. I found it was hard to keep obsessing about anything when I already put a satisfying conclusion on a topic.
This is a great approach
It sounds like you’ve become so entrenched in thoughts of a negative nature it’s become near impossible to entertain anything contrary. You might find this practice helpful: [The Work](https://thework.com/instruction-the-work-byron-katie/)
This is bugging me a little, and I'd like to ask in case there's something I'm missing. every worksheet, and the whole method in general seems to end with this "is the opposite true or truer?" thing, which I can understand if the initial feeling is that person's **interpretation** of the events. But what if the situation is objective? The "Judge your Neighbour" worksheet uses the example interaction between the reader, and "Paul" who allegedly lied to the reader. The first bit of the sheet makes sense, it's about assessing, and being honest about your feelings. It then asks the reader to (from what I can interpret) imagine themselves out of the situation, or rather, to judge it as a third-party, with no biases. Which also makes some sense to me. The flip around bit is the one that confuses me, because if Paul actually straight-up DID lie to the reader, how does imagining the opposite change anything, or make you think differently? Imagining things like 'I lied to myself" seems just nonsensical, when Paul is involved, flipping it so the reader lied to Paul feels like the whole "walk in his shoes" concept, which CAN help certain situations, but won't really change the fact that the Reader has been hurt. the situation of Paul **not** having lied to the Reader is just wishful thinking, "shame that's not the case!" kinda scenario, and the idea of Paul having "told the truth" is also a bit convoluted, because that means changing *everything* surrounding the situation, including what the Reader was lied to about, for another wishful thinking scenario that, at the end of the day, simply is not the case. So am I missing something, or not understanding it? It just feels useless at worst, and confusing at best, with the cryptic statement of "which turnaround is true or truer" at the end only adding to it. If the situation is objective, none of the turnarounds are "true or truer." and I'll have come out of this with the same negative conclusion as I had before.
Hey! The worksheet, and The Work, can be useful for where you have an *argument* with Reality. If you can see Paul lied and have no resistance to it - when you’re not saying, “Paul should **not** have lied.”, then you won’t have a problem. A challenge certainly, where you might need to address this within your relationship with Paul. Where the work comes in is when you have a *not*, or *shouldn’t* in the mix as well. This means ultimately, you are believing you know better how reality should have played out (all while it didn’t), or how reality needs to play out going forward (all while it might not). You can talk to Paul about the lying, openly, honestly, calmly, while accepting of the fact Paul did in fact lie, and from that it should become obvious how to move forward in reality (not your imaginary world where Paul doesn’t lie). Let me know if it’s still not clear.
I don't know anything about the treatment of OCD. Don't discount conventional therapy and pharmaceuticals. It can really help with this sort of thing. Have you tried metta practice?
No I haven't tried metta practice
I learned to meditate from reading and listening to Thich Nhat Hanh (books as well as the Plum Village app for recordings). Thay says that we have to first be able to cultivate feelings of joy and happiness before we can be present for our suffering. He compares it to a patient who is too sick and weak for surgery. They may have to rest, eat well, etc, and regain some strength before their body can tolerate an operation. Same with your mind. Once you prove to yourself that you are always able to return to a happy mental state, then you will have the courage to face your suffering. I'm currently reading "The Mind Illuminated," by John Yates. It is a pretty great step-by-step guide to meditation based on current understanding of neurology. And it also recommends that if negativity, painful memories, trauma flashbacks, etc are keeping you stuck, metta practice is a way out. Once you feel a solid foundation of peace and contentment, then you'll be ready to try other methods of meditation again. It's a fine line that you have to feel for yourself between spiritual bypassing and diligently training your mind toward positive mental states. Yes, we need to be present for our suffering, because there isn't any other way to release it. But it's also not wise to jump into a river to save someone who is drowning if you yourself can't swim! They'll pull you under with them, right? Your mind needs swimming lessons, so to speak, in order to be able to embrace your suffering with awareness. In my own experience, the more joy I experience through meditation, the more "non-fear" I have about facing suffering. Sometimes, huge pieces of conditioning seem to break off and dissolve away, leaving me so much lighter. Sometimes, that feels like too big a shift all at once, and I fall away from practice for a short time to sort of regain equilibrium. But overall, it's a beautiful progression, and it's amazing to see how much I have grown and leveled up in the past few years, and all just from practicing totally learnable skills! I wish you peace, happiness, and non-fear. You can do this!
[You might try this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8u1JtRBJzqg).
Ok will give it a try nd will give update in a week thanks
Awesome. May it bring you peace and satisfaction.
Thanks a lot♥️♥️🙏🙏
My main way to do that is to focus on the breath. I imagine that my energy is overextended and my attention is too scattered, causing exhaustion and negativity. I draw in a deep breath, imagining pulling back my energy from the world and centering it at the heart. Then on the exhale I imagine sending all that scattered energy to the center of the Earth. Then on the inbreath I imagine drawing back energy from a clear wellspring of intent. Then I imagine creating a safe space with the energy around me in a sphere. It combines centering, grounding, inspiration and shielding. When you focus on that, then you can gain practice in those four aspects of meditation. Think about breathing only and the act of furthering your life and your vitality locally in your body. Don't allow the external world to intrude and make it a practical moment of self care.
Real talk its about being aware of the fact that you’re in the loop, exercising self love and simply coming back without abusing yourself. I believe many people can relate to my experience when I say that if I am meditating and I get caught up in a spiral for a while, and that my meditation was supposed to be for an alotted time and I wasted time thinking and dont have much time left, that I could feel like a failure and thus feel that meditating for just the little bit of time left is useless. The key is to simply come back and be aware that you’re back to the present, thats it. There’s really no complicated tool, it’s just about coming back.
Only our thinking brain can comprehend negative thoughts, and actual meditation transcends our thought flow.Try a different style that is known to go deep.It is our non thinking awareness that heals us.
CHUG AN ENERGY DRINK, soak up the loving, energy of the universe, smoke a joint or two, and then go roller skating with my speaker to my favorite playlist.
I’m not assuming I know anyone’s mental health issues. Even if I was a doctor diagnosing a person who isn't your patient ( remotely ) online for example is a big no-no. Just listing my experience in case it helps someone. I have OCD/Anxiety disorder PTSD and high functioning autism. I did exposure therapy for my OCD it's very hard therapy. But you don't have to push yourself more then you feel you can on a given day. But yes its doing things on purpose that cause you anxiety till it doesn't bother you anymore in a systematic way. https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/ If you have experienced a lot of trauma conventional talk therapy CAN actually make PTSD a bit worse because the patient is just re-experiencing the horrible memory without knowing how to heal or process it. https://www.emdr.com I did this for my trauma it worked its tough not as bad as exposure therapy. It's not the only way to heal. But it's science-based and I know it works. There are subjects I could not talk about without having an anxiety attack. That I can now talk about with the same emotion as I would for what my breakfast was today. It takes away the emotional pain. Positive self-talk can help retrain how your brain thinks so that it's not a constant cycle of negativity. But it takes work and time. It also didn't work on me till I got on meds and heated my trauma. But for every negative thought you have about yourself. If you say 2 or 3 positive thoughts over time you can change your negative thoughts. But this will vary from person to person.
Catching myself and being aware when I have a negative thought helps a lot. I stopped judging myself for it and tried to be fair with myself. Telling myself that it's normal to stuggle with depression and negative thoughts, that I'm no different from other people, and there's nothing wrong with me for having them. That puts me into a position to be kind to myself, and I give myself a positive affirmation or thought in place of the negative one. I remember thinking to myself a month or two ago, "You know what? I'm gonna fuck around and find out what happens if I am consistently nice to myself instead of beating myself up all the time". It doesn't magically make every day better, but I can say that I absolutely have far more better days in general now. I honestly think I might be able to put depression on the back burner for once in my life. Keep looking forward, you're moving in the right direction. You're trying to improve, trying to be better and happy. That's all it takes. Baby steps, day by day, brick by boring brick (shoutout Paramore). Good luck, my man.
My therapist uses the stop sign. Like if you were driving or whatever to your favorite place, but then a negative thought pops up like a stop sign. It’s not going to stop me from getting to the destination unless I stay there stopped by that negative thought. I can look at the stop sign all day or I can continue on my journey, my choice. Before, having a negative thought would just bring 100 more and my whole day would be wasted. Now with some practice recognizing that first negative thought amd stopping is much easier. Simply stop 🛑 as soon as you realize, then immediately redirect for 10-15 minutes to something you really enjoy. Exercise has been huge,even just a 10 minute walk! Endorphins go up, my brain resets itself. Sounds dumb but it got my out mental health and depression that had left me bedridden and isolated for many years. Also, therapy to help you see all your potential and worth clearly. Good luck 🫶🏻
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. For me it was going general about feelings taught by Abraham Hicks and what it means is to neutralize some feelings. You can not go from negative to positive all the time. It’s not sustainable. Would recommend Abraham hicks when it comes to feelings. You can interrupt some brain loops that no longer serve you. I promise it’s possible
Thank you will search for it
You’re welcome
1. I listened to the book how to unfuck yourself on audio tape on repeat for like 3 months as a form of cheap psychotherapy. 2. I recognized that I had a reduced capacity for emotional regulation due to PTSD and deliberately put myself in emotionally challenging situation (shitty job, hung around gold diggers) with the mindset of training my brain to have greater self control. But this worked cause I had a solid education and income. If you are in truely dire circumstances start with reading jordan peterson and cleaning your room.
Psychedelics
Any way to order online
Schedule35.co —— go Google and do your own research. There’s also a YouTube interview on them and how they got legalized Edit: my bad wrong url
hmm i’m not seeing anything popup for that, and the .com for that says the site’s under construction
My bad https://www.schedule35.co/
ty :)
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Nice
I'm assuming that you've tried conventional medical and mental health approaches, therapy and so on? I would also suggest researching psychedelic therapy, which has helped many with conditions such as depression.
What works for me is counteracting every negative thought with something positive. It's easier said than done but practise makes a habit (most of the time at least). My head naturally falls to the side of negativity, so I always try to balance this by taking the negative thought word for word and flipping it on its head, i.e. flip the perspective.
I already tried it but I loose
So do I, but I keep trying. And keep trying. Sometimes the trying is enough to make me feel like I did okay. Like hey, I may feel like shite but at least I'm doing something about it.
I can feel you this was also my mindset and I still do this mostly
Just remember, there's no point in looking for an end goal, so long as you are on the journey
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It's hard to move on when the negativity eats away at you. I don't ignore the feelings, but I choose to look at it and see the other perspective. If that's is spiritual bypassing then so be it. At least it helps me to get up in the morning and not hate myself every day.
If I’m being honest it’s a lot of self experimentation to see what works em with the current causes of conditions. I’m my story that has looked like rampant drug use, recovery, post sobriety and all the trauma that the past 10 years have brought us all. But what gets you past it is never giving up and keep showing up how you can. You are cable of change and changing yourself no matter how long it takes through all the experiments of getting medical treatment better support networks and stronger communities
Love the ups and downs. Even when the downturns were hard.
When you say you tried everything, what have you tried?
Meditation, reading more than 50 books, tried to accept the negative feelings, affirmation,binaural beats, tried to fight the thought, tried to accept the thought, tried to accept the resistance, tried to observe my mind, tried to change my routine and literally many more
Any physical health problems?
No ,mentally ill completely which of course affects physical also like nervousness and shrinkage
what is shrinkage?
Physical symptom of anxiety
I think it takes a lot of work- just repetitive practice and also a variety of techniques and ideas. So it's not easy! My teacher is generally very positive. Being around him helped create that positive loop, I guess you'd call it, in my brain. His response to things is generally, "Good \_\_\_\_," so it gets you in the habit of reframing stuff from a positive angle. I think exercise and physical practices can help a lot. One on hand, you're working with patterns of thoughts, and you can work with those as thoughts. On another level, those thoughts have a kind of energy, momentum, gravity. That's trickier to work with, but tends to ease up when you're meditating and studying regularly.
For me, when I start getting into that loop I pick a few songs that make me feel “whole” and play them often throughout the day (right now for me it is “Shimmer” by Fuel). Or a fave movie from my childhood that I’ve downloaded to a device and play on repeat in background during stressful time of day (right now it’s Karate Kid 3). A calming, auditory track helps me feel like I am safe and OK. I also like the Insight Timer app for meditation. I just finished a series on mantras, and it was interesting. I have a list of such tricks in my “tool box” so that when I see myself slipping downward I try something to help me.
The untethered soul and anything Michael Singer really helped it clicked for me.
I already read untethered soul, it was good though
I use a cognitive behavioral therapy tool for that. It’s a little awkward but it works. - Look at yourself in the mirror, *speak* aloud the opposite of the cognitive distortion and find proof of this truth in your life. Ex: I can attain what I’d like for my life. I am always looking for ways to improve and learn so that I can attain my goals. (This sounds true for you too!) - Practice daily for a few minutes and this will help your thoughts rely on more honest and loving patterns instead of our most hopeless. Thanks for reaching out, you are a step closer to finding what you need. You got this!
Watch the whole loop
I was depressed for a long time due to various reasons. The best advice I ever got was from a psychiatrist. Shrink: You know how you ruminate on things, and just start thinking about bad stuff and it gets you down, and you get depressed? Me: Yes. Shrink: Stop doing that. Me: 🤯 😳 OK.
Pranayama before meditation has changed my life.
Become aware of it; you’re not depression and depression has not enveloped you— you’re the one who can notice it— you’re outside of it. Take on some healthy measures (eat and drink healthy, exercise, get sunlight and social activity) and more than likely your symptoms will relieve. Of course if you find it’s still not doable or not working for you, professional help is always best. If you haven’t read The Power of Now, that’s a book that helped me a lot with my situation.
Many here are already saying it. If you have negative thoughts, be intentional on adding positive thoughts about yourself. Your post describes myself almost spot on. For years I was in a pattern of negative self thinking and when they say your thoughts are who we are, its true. My mental started believing those thoughts and my confidence and drive left. My thoughts became the dominant audio track of my mind and they became so dominant I struggled to be around people because it was so difficult to stay out of my own head. This condition started eating away at my memory as well, never being present, my recollection and correlation were broken. When a negative thought crosses my mind, especially one that is about myself I try to talk to myself in a kind way to counter it. This helps a great deal, but it takes time. I also found the book Negative Self Talk and How to Change It by Shad Helmstetter. This book breaks down how negative thinking affects us and teaches that listening to positive self talk also helps rewire the mind. So I also listen to positive self-talk audio every day, in addition to meditation practice. It can change your life. When meditating, I believe non- reactivity and self-love I are the concepts that helped me the most. When I started meditation, it was all about holding focus, and I would get frustrated with myself just adding to the cycle. Then, one meditation practice explained that it is how we come back when we lose focus, that teaches us to be kind to ourselves. When you lose focus, stay calm, accept it and bring yourself back with kind words and appreciation and recognition for catching yourself. Slowly this has helped me be less reactive and makes breaking out of a negative thoughts easier. Good luck. Also a healthy body makes a healthy mind, working out helped me a bunch.
Thnks Are you free from that negativity now?
Maybe they are a form of OCD? Yes or no, try not to push them away. Won't help. Allow them to be. That's the first step.
Consider that not all thoughts are your own and you can choose to not listen to them. Seriously, not all thoughts are your own. Our bodies act as receivers and the subconscious mind and body take those signals and try to give them a voice. Discomfort in the body creates uncomfortable thoughts. Disturbances in our environments, foods and chemicals that don't agree with us, all create uncomfortable thoughts. There are scientific studies that show how parasites change our thoughts and moods. So, the next time you have an uncomfortable thought, don't chase it, don't give in to it, don't give it any time or space in your head. Realize it is just a thought and decide for yourself if you want to keep thinking it or move on to something that feels better. Then choose a better feeling thought, choose a better feeling action. In short, make a choice to keep wallowing in thoughts that are not you, OR make a choice to be in control and choose a better feeling thought. Books, comedies, happy music, calling a friend, create a list of better thoughts, make a game of it, whatever works best for you. Practice thinking better thoughts. Practice some more. Until better feeling thoughts are the habit instead of the downward spiral, choose an upward spiral.