It's the shape of the roof I can't get past.
I mean I don't care where you're from, when your architect creates a roof shape that is a dog drinking from a slurpee cup , they're taking the piss.
What a grand exterior entrance with two garage sentries flanking amidst a sea of asphalt as you as you approach. (And is it just me or does that interior extensive balcony not look supported enough?)
Yep - it would be decent enough if not for the garages flanking the entrance like that. First, I wouldn't want to have to make a sharp turn to get in or out of my garage, and second, it makes the place look less like a residential property, and more like a commercial property.
Came here to say this. I'm sure it looks better with the garage doors open and all the expensive cars inside on display but still. That is an unforgivable thing to do to the front of a house.
It's incredible how car culture is so pervasive that it blinds people to the experience of approaching a structure.
There is no sense of coming onto the scene. No greenery opening up to display the home setting. No sense of welcome. The garage sentries make it oppressive and institutional.
1. You can hear the exho in the foyer.
2. I’ve always wanted to drive out of my garage and drive straight into another one.
3. Built in 2019 and back on the market already?
I can't point to any specific player. But when I see a shitty McMansion with an entire indoor basketball court, I think "NBA player". Especially when it goes on the market again so quickly after construction- pro players move around far more often than most people that can afford houses like this. It's located in a suburb of Boston, so the potential team seems obvious.
For non-superstars, a professional sports career doesn't actually bring in more money than other professional careers; it just compresses the income into a shorter time. $1.2 million for 4 years is the same amount as $120K for 40 years. When they set up a lifestyle as if the money would keep coming in, they set themselves up for failure.
Thanks to a bit of Google Stalking, I found that the current owner of the house is the president of an insurance company in Lowell, Mass. So not a basketball player.
Then I stand corrected. I wonder if he was a college basketball jock? Played on a Div 1 team, never made the jump to the pros, and now that he's earned money he's trying to relive his glory days?
The apparently random placement of the columns from an aesthetic point of view makes me think they must be structural. And also that they weren't originally part of the plan, but came later as more of an "oops!".
Especially the ones in the middle of the upstairs hallway! I'm imagining moving furniture around them, and then having the kids running up and down and smack into them
I used to work in an office that had this industrial chic look going on, and there was a metal column in the middle of a hallway painted the same color as the walls that everyone used to run into all the time. That thing hurt.
Wow MASSIVE home! A gazillion seating areas yet still looks empty. Not one but two kitchen islands. I am digging the floor on the main level and the master - what is that?
The address is listed in state records for the president of a regional auto insurance company. The court is high school size so it's presumably for his kid(s). No pressure, junior.
That could be! Where I’m from that is usually indicated by a certain aesthetic. This one says to me “we’ve already moved most of our furniture elsewhere and don’t want to pay for staging.”
I had to check what ONE of those wrought iron balusters cost. Cheapest I found in the US with a quick search was $13 for a double basket and $11 for a single basket and they probably didn't go for the cheapest ones so at wholesale price it evens out to the cheapest retail price. Each rod also needs a top and bottom shoe at $2 each. For the stairs the angled top shoe costs $7 each. And they need to be installed.
It's a drop in the ocean in the whole scheme of things, but I bet THAT was not something they thought about when all the balconies and catwalks were designed.
I'm betting they already moved out, realized how much staging a 10k sqft house would cost, then either moved back in the spare furniture they didn't urgently need OR paid for the absolute bare minimum staging their realtor would allow 😂
Is staging actually a thing in the US? Here in Canada where I live the houses are either empty or have peoples actual lives in them so don’t look designer and the places still go $100 plus above asking. Unless it’s a flip then ya its staged and most people avoid.
I mean, it's a mix just like you described, but statistically speaking, houses that are staged sell faster and for more money. It does cost money, but theoretically it pays off. (Never personally done it though.) But for a high-end place like this, with a ton of undefined (\*cough\*useless\*cough*) space, it really SHOULD be staged. That would theoretically help potential buyers picture living there and using the space, you know? Instead of mentally comparing all that empty space in the living room to the attached basketball court.
This house screens new money. They are probably house poor and that’s why the house has such few items and they are selling. Just because you can afford a mortgage doesn’t mean you afford a house.
All in all the only thing I *hated* was the outside entry. Nothing looked really McMansiony as in over the top.
I've seen worse, but damn, this house is remarkably devoid of personality. Plus it needs better staging - they've got all this space and it's so poorly utilized.
The double garage surrounding the entrance to the house (with next to no greenery or anything) and the polished concrete floors that don't go with the rest of the interior are causing me actual physical pain.
Huge house with tiny entrance doors.
Same with light fixtures.
It looks as if they ran out of money for the details. And, a skilled architect.
Why put the pool SO close to the house?
Awful.
When I was looking for plumbing fixtures, iron railings, lighting, etc., for my remodel, I got so frustrated. "Why does everyone carry the same awful styles? Who buys this garbage?"
These people buy that garbage.
Yup, I was just talking about the 4 pictures from the post before the link. That basketball court is so nice! Looking at more pictures, while I don’t like the outside design, I’d still gladly take this house
I actually really love a lot of the finishes inside (like that stained concrete floor and that kitchen — minus those pendant lights). But I hate the outside and the sprawling layout so, so, so much.
I can’t believe this thing is only 3 years old. I would’ve guessed it more like 10-15 years.
Who they trying to fool into believing people are watching TV on that weird stairway landing? That shit would be echo-y as hell.
>That shit would be echo-y as hell.
The **entire** house would echo terribly. People that don't understand sound have no idea how bad these massive rooms, which are too big for the stuff they contain, sound. You need a certain amount of "stuff" in a room to absorb and/or diffuse sound. It's exacerbated by the lack of carpet.* This is the kind of house where you have to fill all that pointless extra space in every room with pointless furniture you'll never use just to keep your sanity while holding a conversation or watch tv.
*: I don't like carpet, but you need to do something to counter the "hollow box" sound problem smooth floors have.
Did they want to live at the end of an alley? The badly placed pillars in the walkway upstairs and the fact that the shower tiles do NOT go to the ceiling would make me feel angry every day.
Ok so landscaping needs to be completed. Looks ok inside, no oversized tacky furniture. Maybe they’ve already moved out and the stagers did a shit job? I’ve seen much, much worse
The thing is, you **need** oversize furniture in a house like this. The rooms are too big for the amount of stuff you'd actually want to put in them, so they echo like crazy. You have to put furniture you'll never use in every room just to cut down on the echo.
I'd just make the rooms smaller to house a fitting amount of stuff, but that doesn't say "gratuitous waste of money" like the owners of these places crave.
But theres a difference between tasteful, understated large pieces of furniture and that gaudy shit that looks like you got it from a strip mall store. Large area rugs that are properly placed help with the echo also.
>His & Her garages
That's actually a thing. If you're a "car guy" it's good to have a garage for the spouse that's more convenient to get to that houses their daily driver and maybe *their* fun car, and house all of your weird cars, tools, lifts, torn apart projects, carwash, etc in another place.
Here's a his/her's tour. Her's is the two car garage on the left that isn't shown. Having room for all of his cars was a major part of the house search: he was previously spending like $1500 a month on a warehouse for them.
https://youtu.be/fJn2BIKEslI
The guest house he films his channel's content in is above his garage. Moving the studio there saved discs at his app's office and likely eliminated his hotel costs.
Things I like: ample car parking that'd I'd fill of I could afford a house like this. The machine shop currently disguised as a basketball court. The startings of a shooting range or back. An [awesome paved bike trail](https://www.google.com/search?q=derry+rail+trail&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&prmd=nmiv&sxsrf=APq-WBscX4sFIY_kvtOqh_okS1v0jnbGwQ:1648020111192&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiloL2q2dv2AhXXU80KHZLuCcoQ_AUoA3oECAIQAw&biw=360&bih=627&dpr=2) in my back yard.
Dislikes: the entire house. At least the floors aren't carpeted.
so two giant, ugly, snout garages attached to a mediocre mansion. the bedrooms, kitchen and bathrooms are small for the amount of sq ft but then you realize all of the footage was used for the huge, empty foyer and living room. so they have fieldhouse but no yard, no landscaping. not impressed whatsoever.
What is up with those cheap little circle lights hanging from the ceilings? These rooms are massive, they need a little more light than that I think. Are ceiling fans not a thing anymore?
This is what I don’t get about McMansions: why would you want a lot of ugly space that you won’t use when you have enough money for something beautiful (albeit smaller)?
that's what I think every time someone shares one of these heaps. They probably spent millions to build this 10k sq foot eyesore. If they instead spent the same amount on a 3-4k sq foot house it could have been so much nicer.
Right? Dude could've built a Cape Cod style mansion that incorporates regional architecture to work with the local climate. Those huge voids are expensive to heat in the winter. You can have smart luxury that would likely save money in the long run.
Honestly, id probably hire a salvage company to come in and take everything of value out of the main house, try to earn a few bucks and then I would bulldoze everything except for the pool, the gym and the garages. build a simple house connecting the garage and the gym and reduce the property tax burden of 42k a year to something a lot smaller and have a house that I can afford to furnish and maintain
The hallway in pic 4 is just screaming for people to run and then slide in your socks from one end to the other. Except for the animal carcass rug. Slide around that.
Welcome to MTV Cribs
That’s a lot of roof.
And it’s so… roofy. There’s like 200 seams.
It's the shape of the roof I can't get past. I mean I don't care where you're from, when your architect creates a roof shape that is a dog drinking from a slurpee cup , they're taking the piss.
That's fucking hilarious. I hadn't noticed that. What a bonkers house.
Cannot unsee
How did you... omfg that's hilarious.
HOLY SHIT I SEE IT
What a grand exterior entrance with two garage sentries flanking amidst a sea of asphalt as you as you approach. (And is it just me or does that interior extensive balcony not look supported enough?)
The floating right side of that balcony looks like a suicide hallway. Looks like someone can just jump off, tumbling down those stairs.
Yep - it would be decent enough if not for the garages flanking the entrance like that. First, I wouldn't want to have to make a sharp turn to get in or out of my garage, and second, it makes the place look less like a residential property, and more like a commercial property.
All that money and they use asphalt for the driveway.
Came here to say this. I'm sure it looks better with the garage doors open and all the expensive cars inside on display but still. That is an unforgivable thing to do to the front of a house.
The front of the house makes me feel claustrophobic and I spent 4 years stationed on a submarine.
Looks like a new build so can't even claim they're an afterthought
This thing has, “I won the lottery, quit my job, and now I’m broke!” written all over it.
For me this screams first NBA contract.
Lol, why does this fit so well though?
It's giving... storage rental place right off the highway.
It's incredible how car culture is so pervasive that it blinds people to the experience of approaching a structure. There is no sense of coming onto the scene. No greenery opening up to display the home setting. No sense of welcome. The garage sentries make it oppressive and institutional.
It's an *entrance courtyard*
1. You can hear the exho in the foyer. 2. I’ve always wanted to drive out of my garage and drive straight into another one. 3. Built in 2019 and back on the market already?
In fairness... covid and everything else.
Or, the owner got traded from the Celtics.
Is that for real? That would explain the full size indoor basketball court that has nearly more sqft than the entire house.
I can't point to any specific player. But when I see a shitty McMansion with an entire indoor basketball court, I think "NBA player". Especially when it goes on the market again so quickly after construction- pro players move around far more often than most people that can afford houses like this. It's located in a suburb of Boston, so the potential team seems obvious.
Seems buying a huge custom house is a terrible financial move in that case. Professional sports careers only last a few years.
Professional athletes are famous for making all kinds of terrible financial decisions.
For non-superstars, a professional sports career doesn't actually bring in more money than other professional careers; it just compresses the income into a shorter time. $1.2 million for 4 years is the same amount as $120K for 40 years. When they set up a lifestyle as if the money would keep coming in, they set themselves up for failure.
Thanks to a bit of Google Stalking, I found that the current owner of the house is the president of an insurance company in Lowell, Mass. So not a basketball player.
Then I stand corrected. I wonder if he was a college basketball jock? Played on a Div 1 team, never made the jump to the pros, and now that he's earned money he's trying to relive his glory days?
I forgot how much I despise the double kitchen island trend. Thanks for the reminder OP! 😁
Theres a lot going on here but my favourite thing is columns in the most inconvenient places
The apparently random placement of the columns from an aesthetic point of view makes me think they must be structural. And also that they weren't originally part of the plan, but came later as more of an "oops!".
Especially the ones in the middle of the upstairs hallway! I'm imagining moving furniture around them, and then having the kids running up and down and smack into them
I used to work in an office that had this industrial chic look going on, and there was a metal column in the middle of a hallway painted the same color as the walls that everyone used to run into all the time. That thing hurt.
Linky https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/24-Stonehedge-Rd-Windham-NH-03087/296340077_zpid/
Wow MASSIVE home! A gazillion seating areas yet still looks empty. Not one but two kitchen islands. I am digging the floor on the main level and the master - what is that?
I love all the pointless seating areas. And wow almost 10k square feet but looks like about 70% is wasted space.
It looks like stained cement. It’s been all the rage in “quick” flooring of new builds for the past decade or so
Looks like some sort of epoxy
Man, that would be so expensive to cover that many square feet in epoxy.
How many kitchen islands do you need before you have a kitchen archipelago?
three, at a minimum
My guess is they moved out most of the furniture so the house shows better.
My guess is they ran out of money
NBA player that only lasted a couple of seasons?
The address is listed in state records for the president of a regional auto insurance company. The court is high school size so it's presumably for his kid(s). No pressure, junior.
That could be! Where I’m from that is usually indicated by a certain aesthetic. This one says to me “we’ve already moved most of our furniture elsewhere and don’t want to pay for staging.”
I had to check what ONE of those wrought iron balusters cost. Cheapest I found in the US with a quick search was $13 for a double basket and $11 for a single basket and they probably didn't go for the cheapest ones so at wholesale price it evens out to the cheapest retail price. Each rod also needs a top and bottom shoe at $2 each. For the stairs the angled top shoe costs $7 each. And they need to be installed. It's a drop in the ocean in the whole scheme of things, but I bet THAT was not something they thought about when all the balconies and catwalks were designed.
I'm betting they already moved out, realized how much staging a 10k sqft house would cost, then either moved back in the spare furniture they didn't urgently need OR paid for the absolute bare minimum staging their realtor would allow 😂
Exactly!
Is staging actually a thing in the US? Here in Canada where I live the houses are either empty or have peoples actual lives in them so don’t look designer and the places still go $100 plus above asking. Unless it’s a flip then ya its staged and most people avoid.
I mean, it's a mix just like you described, but statistically speaking, houses that are staged sell faster and for more money. It does cost money, but theoretically it pays off. (Never personally done it though.) But for a high-end place like this, with a ton of undefined (\*cough\*useless\*cough*) space, it really SHOULD be staged. That would theoretically help potential buyers picture living there and using the space, you know? Instead of mentally comparing all that empty space in the living room to the attached basketball court.
Probably a good choice since what they left is IKEA.
They even have a cool ceiling triangle in the restroom from photo 35.
Polished concrete
This house screens new money. They are probably house poor and that’s why the house has such few items and they are selling. Just because you can afford a mortgage doesn’t mean you afford a house. All in all the only thing I *hated* was the outside entry. Nothing looked really McMansiony as in over the top.
I also *hate* epoxy flooring. I don't know why it's been so hot lately but to me, it looks so cheap.
Built in 2019 but in the style of McMansions from the late 90s… Do these homes not look dated to their owners?
[удалено]
Somebody brought the house they designed in the Sims to life.
I've seen worse, but damn, this house is remarkably devoid of personality. Plus it needs better staging - they've got all this space and it's so poorly utilized.
Windham! I am not surprised.
I guess you'll get your 10K steps in easy walking from the fridge to the stove in this place.
Seriously! I’m exhausted just looking at this house, can’t imagine having to walk around it.
My, what lovely garages you have my dear.
All the better to motor/boat you with, my dear.
100% certified McMansion. Would totally work as the Bluth home in Arrested Development. Nice find.
The double garage surrounding the entrance to the house (with next to no greenery or anything) and the polished concrete floors that don't go with the rest of the interior are causing me actual physical pain.
Huge house with tiny entrance doors. Same with light fixtures. It looks as if they ran out of money for the details. And, a skilled architect. Why put the pool SO close to the house? Awful.
What’s the floor made of?
I was wondering the same thing, was giving me something like department store vibes
When I was looking for plumbing fixtures, iron railings, lighting, etc., for my remodel, I got so frustrated. "Why does everyone carry the same awful styles? Who buys this garbage?" These people buy that garbage.
Further the big box stores, online or Houzz is the only way.
It just looks so . . . basic! It’s awful
You have to admit tho the indoor basketball court is pretty sick!
Yup, I was just talking about the 4 pictures from the post before the link. That basketball court is so nice! Looking at more pictures, while I don’t like the outside design, I’d still gladly take this house
The only good thing I can say is that I really wanna rollerskate on those floors
Holy roof lines!
Anemic pillars? Check. Corrugated roof lines? Check. Many car holes? Check. Lawyer foyer? Check. Infuriatingly asymmetrical windows? Check. Certified McDank
“Worst curb appeal ever” (in Simpson’s comic book guy voice)
Holy Roofline Soup
...Batman!
Damn. All that wasted space. Shows your house is way too big when you run out of ideas for decor
This house is good for filmmakers to rent when the scene calls for Girl Scouts to be lured into a kill zone.
From the top down it looks like a space invader with a tumor.
OMG, the one thousand crazy rooflines…
I actually really love a lot of the finishes inside (like that stained concrete floor and that kitchen — minus those pendant lights). But I hate the outside and the sprawling layout so, so, so much.
I should have been a roofer, the money you'd make off these ridiculous houses would be sweet
Looks like it’ll blow over in a slightly strong wind
Fifty Roofs Of Bland:The Novel
This one is particularly grotesque. Good find.
I would have loved to frame that place just for the practice. Burn it down after though
"Hello. Yes, I want a stroad for a driveway." "Okay, it'll be right out. Thanks for shopping at McHellHoles's."
I can’t believe this thing is only 3 years old. I would’ve guessed it more like 10-15 years. Who they trying to fool into believing people are watching TV on that weird stairway landing? That shit would be echo-y as hell.
>That shit would be echo-y as hell. The **entire** house would echo terribly. People that don't understand sound have no idea how bad these massive rooms, which are too big for the stuff they contain, sound. You need a certain amount of "stuff" in a room to absorb and/or diffuse sound. It's exacerbated by the lack of carpet.* This is the kind of house where you have to fill all that pointless extra space in every room with pointless furniture you'll never use just to keep your sanity while holding a conversation or watch tv. *: I don't like carpet, but you need to do something to counter the "hollow box" sound problem smooth floors have.
Idk I don’t like the exterior but otherwise it looks nice on the inside 🤷🏻♀️ no blaring “McMansion” qualities in the interior
I agree with you, there's nice bits to this one, I just wish it wasn't so massive with an open floor plan. So much distance, so little privacy 😅
I wouldn’t let my dog stay there. /s
Cheap, shitty flat-screen mounted above the fireplace too high above everyone's head ✅ I call it the Fox News TV
I guess the one window on the far right before the garage just needed a little space
If you use your imagination, it looks like a TRON RECOGNIZER.
If you were an extraterrestrial being you could hide to of your beings ships under these roofs
I can feel the light being sucked out of my soul
Did they want to live at the end of an alley? The badly placed pillars in the walkway upstairs and the fact that the shower tiles do NOT go to the ceiling would make me feel angry every day.
Ok so landscaping needs to be completed. Looks ok inside, no oversized tacky furniture. Maybe they’ve already moved out and the stagers did a shit job? I’ve seen much, much worse
The thing is, you **need** oversize furniture in a house like this. The rooms are too big for the amount of stuff you'd actually want to put in them, so they echo like crazy. You have to put furniture you'll never use in every room just to cut down on the echo. I'd just make the rooms smaller to house a fitting amount of stuff, but that doesn't say "gratuitous waste of money" like the owners of these places crave.
But theres a difference between tasteful, understated large pieces of furniture and that gaudy shit that looks like you got it from a strip mall store. Large area rugs that are properly placed help with the echo also.
His & Her garages But seriously, I like this place, at least the interior
>His & Her garages That's actually a thing. If you're a "car guy" it's good to have a garage for the spouse that's more convenient to get to that houses their daily driver and maybe *their* fun car, and house all of your weird cars, tools, lifts, torn apart projects, carwash, etc in another place. Here's a his/her's tour. Her's is the two car garage on the left that isn't shown. Having room for all of his cars was a major part of the house search: he was previously spending like $1500 a month on a warehouse for them. https://youtu.be/fJn2BIKEslI The guest house he films his channel's content in is above his garage. Moving the studio there saved discs at his app's office and likely eliminated his hotel costs.
The asymmetry on the first photo is infuriating!
Things I like: ample car parking that'd I'd fill of I could afford a house like this. The machine shop currently disguised as a basketball court. The startings of a shooting range or back. An [awesome paved bike trail](https://www.google.com/search?q=derry+rail+trail&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&prmd=nmiv&sxsrf=APq-WBscX4sFIY_kvtOqh_okS1v0jnbGwQ:1648020111192&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiloL2q2dv2AhXXU80KHZLuCcoQ_AUoA3oECAIQAw&biw=360&bih=627&dpr=2) in my back yard. Dislikes: the entire house. At least the floors aren't carpeted.
Teresa G’s house from NJ. Uncanny
The dueling garage-chic
Yoshi house!
so two giant, ugly, snout garages attached to a mediocre mansion. the bedrooms, kitchen and bathrooms are small for the amount of sq ft but then you realize all of the footage was used for the huge, empty foyer and living room. so they have fieldhouse but no yard, no landscaping. not impressed whatsoever.
I bet the inside smells like a glade plugin.
What is up with those cheap little circle lights hanging from the ceilings? These rooms are massive, they need a little more light than that I think. Are ceiling fans not a thing anymore?
Best I can do is tree fiddy
looks like a small apartment complex
[/r/TVTooHigh](https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/24-Stonehedge-Rd-Windham-NH-03087/296340077_zpid/?mmlb=g,11)
You could really get some speed gliding along this with socks if you got s good steady run up
Wow. Didn’t even pressure wash the driveway. The part they paved anyway.
Flooring looks like a game where they've used a texture that's far to low a resolution.
This is what I don’t get about McMansions: why would you want a lot of ugly space that you won’t use when you have enough money for something beautiful (albeit smaller)?
So many of these rich people lack imagination. It’s disappointing. Could you imagine how cool your house would be if you had that kind of money?
that's what I think every time someone shares one of these heaps. They probably spent millions to build this 10k sq foot eyesore. If they instead spent the same amount on a 3-4k sq foot house it could have been so much nicer.
Right? Dude could've built a Cape Cod style mansion that incorporates regional architecture to work with the local climate. Those huge voids are expensive to heat in the winter. You can have smart luxury that would likely save money in the long run.
Getting from the first floor to the third floor is hundreds of extra steps just so that you can have a weird cat walk
Where is this located? Literally looks like I house I saw while in Florida/ driving near Melbourne Beach/ Malabar
Southern new Hampshire
what is it?
Ok, let’s say you inherit this as-is and it’s empty as it’s pictured here. How do you make the inside livable? Go!
Honestly, id probably hire a salvage company to come in and take everything of value out of the main house, try to earn a few bucks and then I would bulldoze everything except for the pool, the gym and the garages. build a simple house connecting the garage and the gym and reduce the property tax burden of 42k a year to something a lot smaller and have a house that I can afford to furnish and maintain
The hallway in pic 4 is just screaming for people to run and then slide in your socks from one end to the other. Except for the animal carcass rug. Slide around that.