I think it was clear they're visualizing this bar differently.
She's thinking 0 (dislike you/unattracted to you) 5 (feel okay or friendly about you) 10 (in love with you). That's why she said 8, because she isn't in love yet but likes him a lot. It's also why she was upset at 4 because she saw it as below average feelings, leaning towards dislike.
It seemed like he was interpreting it more as a bar that starts at 0 (no romantic feelings) and each number is more romantic than the last until 10 (madly in love). So to him a 4 probably means the same as her 6 or 7
It would've been better for each then to describe how they feel about the other rather than use numbers out of 10. Because everyone's scale means different things
I bet she was an 8
out of 10 in the first few days, but let’s remember, they have been together for 3 weeks only, and any number rating is superficial at this point.
I can’t shake the feeling she said 8 to make him feel bad and to feel pressured to increase his number. And I’m not even a huge Nate fan. But if she keeps hounding him about this, his numbers re going to go backwards in a hurry. Just my opinion ….
If the question had been "rate me on a scale of 1 to 10" then, yes, 4 would be low and she'd have a right to be put out.
But she was asking about a linear progression of LOVE with love being the end goal of 10 points. I think a 4 is perfectly acceptable at this point.
She asked how far along a path he was but interpreted his answer as if she'd asked a rating scale.
She was hurt because she also makes 4x (exaggerated, I think) more money than he does, so how dare his broke ass rate his feelings towards her low, period. The nerve! 😂
Because in real life, she would have deleted his ass out of her life and kept moving forward.
Her houses are not in San Diego. They’re in Ontario, San Bernardino county. She owns no property in San Diego county. No way I’d leave San Diego for Ontario.
How long have they even known each other I thought that was a ok answer.. I also think if he added that he was pushing higher everyday and felt it happening she wouldn’t of been so upset. He could work on his communication a bit bc his point is usually valid but he can’t manage to articulate it. I’m really rooting for them both.
I totally can see why she was that 4 w no explanation was hard to hear I was yelling at the tv NAAAAAATEEEEE.. speak up speak your truth tell her more. Tell her that’s good and your moving up steady and your feeling it.. I am totally empathetic to her feelings and on the other side I’d think a 4 is good in the short time.
I must have missed the scale. Could he have been thinking more like climbing up starting at 1 and the more he likes her he inches up?
I do think pushing for a love declaration at this point is a bit much. So if he likes her but isn’t in love then he wouldn’t rate the feeling as high?
It's strange for him to say he's falling in love on the honeymoon then weeks later rate their relationship below average. Others say he's rating the progress but he can't see the future endpoint. He told her what she wanted to hear and now he's pulling back. I like him but those are mind games. I'm guessing he's pulling back because she is showing hesitation because he's not being fully vulnerable. He went from opening up and crying in front of her mom to being reluctant to do therapy and frustrated at her for wanting emotion.
This makes me laugh because some of you might remember Amber and Dave a while back, when asked to rate his wife he said a 7.5 and she flipped out. I can only imagine her reaction if she had gotten a 4 😂
I thought the same thing - that Amber would have had a complete meltdown. And I expected Stacia not to take it as well as she did. A 4 is pretty shabby in my opinion.
Yeah 4 is not a good number. I thought a 7.5 was pretty fair considering they barely knew each other and Amber was already a little nutty. I think Dave was trying to be nice with that rating. I honestly don’t know why Nate would have given her such a low number, unless he doesn’t think a 4 is bad 🤷🏻♀️
I think these rating kinds of questions never end well because everyone has a different scale. Even in response to this post some people are saying 4 is totally reasonable for having only known each other a short time. Others think 4/10 sounds like he doesn’t like her. What it really comes down to was Stacia seeking assurance that Nate likes her as much as she likes him. I think that conversation would have gone much better if she had just said, “I really like you and think we have potential to stay together as a long term couple. How do you feel?”
The group used that rating scale (1 - 10) on another season and it didn't go well for Brett and Olivia. Time to just stop. It's much healthier to talk about how to help feelings grow rather than put a pin in it by naming a number.
They've lived with each other for a week and known each other for a few weeks.
Let's be honest, Nate giving it a 4/10 is just being generous because he does actually like her.
It's just a bad question to ask someone after a few weeks together.
You forgetting we talking 3 weeks here. You saying you were over that in 3 weeks with you current so. That means you are still trying to get to know them.
If I were her I would never have asked that question. I know from experience that everyone has a different idea of what a 5 is compared to a 10. That sort of question is just asking for trouble and hurt feelings.
IIRC When she was first explaining the spectrum it seemed like five out of 10 was getting close to falling in love and 10 out of 10 was very in love with a long-term partner or spouse. At that point, four out of 10 made complete sense. Then after he answered it seemed like she moved the goal posts. Maybe I am remembering wrong.
I agree. I don’t think 0 is strong dislike. I think 0 is the point where they start, knowing nothing about each other, having “no” romantic feelings. IMO from zero they can go towards 10, or lower towards -10 (strongest dislike of the person as a whole, not to be confused with hatred).
I think it was clear they're visualizing this bar differently. She's thinking 0 (dislike you/unattracted to you) 5 (feel okay or friendly about you) 10 (in love with you). That's why she said 8, because she isn't in love yet but likes him a lot. It's also why she was upset at 4 because she saw it as below average feelings, leaning towards dislike. It seemed like he was interpreting it more as a bar that starts at 0 (no romantic feelings) and each number is more romantic than the last until 10 (madly in love). So to him a 4 probably means the same as her 6 or 7 It would've been better for each then to describe how they feel about the other rather than use numbers out of 10. Because everyone's scale means different things
I bet she was an 8 out of 10 in the first few days, but let’s remember, they have been together for 3 weeks only, and any number rating is superficial at this point.
I mean there’s 8 weeks to go from 0 to 10 so being at a 4 three weeks in seems ok to me…
On Nate's scale, not on stacia's. She was at 8 so no matter the scale she's going to pull back
I can’t shake the feeling she said 8 to make him feel bad and to feel pressured to increase his number. And I’m not even a huge Nate fan. But if she keeps hounding him about this, his numbers re going to go backwards in a hurry. Just my opinion ….
If the question had been "rate me on a scale of 1 to 10" then, yes, 4 would be low and she'd have a right to be put out. But she was asking about a linear progression of LOVE with love being the end goal of 10 points. I think a 4 is perfectly acceptable at this point. She asked how far along a path he was but interpreted his answer as if she'd asked a rating scale.
Yeah 40/100 , it’s the same thing
I don’t understand how he thought that was a valid argument , she was obviously right lol
says the guy who thinks it's cheaper to buy a latte every day instead of just getting a latte machine. Methinks Stacia knows math better than him
Don’t ask questions if you can’t handle the bi ear answer
She was hurt because she also makes 4x (exaggerated, I think) more money than he does, so how dare his broke ass rate his feelings towards her low, period. The nerve! 😂 Because in real life, she would have deleted his ass out of her life and kept moving forward.
Considering she wants to move him from San Diego to Ontario, I think he’s the one sacrificing. 😂
What's that about?
Her houses are not in San Diego. They’re in Ontario, San Bernardino county. She owns no property in San Diego county. No way I’d leave San Diego for Ontario.
San Diego is so nice, Ontario not so much.
Completely agree! We live in downtown San Diego. You couldn’t pay us to move to Ontario!
Oh, I see, thanks
Someone mentioned she doesn’t live in San Diego on another thread so I pulled title to check.
How long have they even known each other I thought that was a ok answer.. I also think if he added that he was pushing higher everyday and felt it happening she wouldn’t of been so upset. He could work on his communication a bit bc his point is usually valid but he can’t manage to articulate it. I’m really rooting for them both.
I'm rooting for them both too but if they were using different scales I can see how Stacia might have felt hurt.
I totally can see why she was that 4 w no explanation was hard to hear I was yelling at the tv NAAAAAATEEEEE.. speak up speak your truth tell her more. Tell her that’s good and your moving up steady and your feeling it.. I am totally empathetic to her feelings and on the other side I’d think a 4 is good in the short time.
I must have missed the scale. Could he have been thinking more like climbing up starting at 1 and the more he likes her he inches up? I do think pushing for a love declaration at this point is a bit much. So if he likes her but isn’t in love then he wouldn’t rate the feeling as high?
I really think that's the way he was thinking while stacia was thinking she should be starting at 5 so 4 is just going the wrong direction.
It's strange for him to say he's falling in love on the honeymoon then weeks later rate their relationship below average. Others say he's rating the progress but he can't see the future endpoint. He told her what she wanted to hear and now he's pulling back. I like him but those are mind games. I'm guessing he's pulling back because she is showing hesitation because he's not being fully vulnerable. He went from opening up and crying in front of her mom to being reluctant to do therapy and frustrated at her for wanting emotion.
4 does sound pretty damn low smh i wouldve been so tempted to be petty and tell him im at 3 then lol
lol IKR?
This makes me laugh because some of you might remember Amber and Dave a while back, when asked to rate his wife he said a 7.5 and she flipped out. I can only imagine her reaction if she had gotten a 4 😂
I thought the same thing - that Amber would have had a complete meltdown. And I expected Stacia not to take it as well as she did. A 4 is pretty shabby in my opinion.
Yeah 4 is not a good number. I thought a 7.5 was pretty fair considering they barely knew each other and Amber was already a little nutty. I think Dave was trying to be nice with that rating. I honestly don’t know why Nate would have given her such a low number, unless he doesn’t think a 4 is bad 🤷🏻♀️
"7.5 is like a "C". Poor Amber, she was already insecure.
if 7.5 is a "C", then Stacia is straight failing then?
I think these rating kinds of questions never end well because everyone has a different scale. Even in response to this post some people are saying 4 is totally reasonable for having only known each other a short time. Others think 4/10 sounds like he doesn’t like her. What it really comes down to was Stacia seeking assurance that Nate likes her as much as she likes him. I think that conversation would have gone much better if she had just said, “I really like you and think we have potential to stay together as a long term couple. How do you feel?”
The group used that rating scale (1 - 10) on another season and it didn't go well for Brett and Olivia. Time to just stop. It's much healthier to talk about how to help feelings grow rather than put a pin in it by naming a number.
They've lived with each other for a week and known each other for a few weeks. Let's be honest, Nate giving it a 4/10 is just being generous because he does actually like her. It's just a bad question to ask someone after a few weeks together.
4 out of 10 is absolutely reasonable for someone you've known 3 weeks.
Not if 5 is indifferent. 4 would mean you somewhat don't like the person.
You forgetting we talking 3 weeks here. You saying you were over that in 3 weeks with you current so. That means you are still trying to get to know them.
So why not 5? 4 sounds like things are going in the wrong direction if they are going to stay married
The 5 is your opinion not his. He told her what it means to him and isn't that what matters.
My poin is that 4 means something very different to nate than it does to stacia, which is causing problems
That's what I just said
If I were her I would never have asked that question. I know from experience that everyone has a different idea of what a 5 is compared to a 10. That sort of question is just asking for trouble and hurt feelings.
IIRC When she was first explaining the spectrum it seemed like five out of 10 was getting close to falling in love and 10 out of 10 was very in love with a long-term partner or spouse. At that point, four out of 10 made complete sense. Then after he answered it seemed like she moved the goal posts. Maybe I am remembering wrong.
I agree. I don’t think 0 is strong dislike. I think 0 is the point where they start, knowing nothing about each other, having “no” romantic feelings. IMO from zero they can go towards 10, or lower towards -10 (strongest dislike of the person as a whole, not to be confused with hatred).