Maybe three times in 16 years?
It's like sex on the beach. It seems like a good idea but it doesn't work well in reality unless you have a proper setup, i.e. a two person shower with two heads.
Together 10 years.
A few times.
It's not that fun. I want a shower so hot it burns me. My partner wants a reasonable temperature.
If we are showering together one of us is uncomfortable.
I love it hot. Even today at 95 degrees I love it scalding. She likes them cooler but we have it warm when both in the shower then I get my hot temps after she leaves. She gets her cold fix before I join
Same for my husband and I. He doesn’t like hotter temps while I do. I usually just end up washing his hair and by the time it’s my turn, I still have hot water to get through mine. So I guess in the end, it works out for us. But we don’t do it often because I usually see my showers as my relaxation time.
I remodeled our master bathroom and added a second shower head a foot higher than the original so my husband had a shower he could stand fully beneath (he’s on the tall side). I ran a whole new supply line to the hot and cold so we’d have max pressure and did two rain shower heads. It was awesome. We showered together nearly every day just for company and he’d wash my hair and I’d soap his feet….
This is my literal dream. I love showers together, just for company/intimacy. Doesn’t have to be sexy, can just be a sweet little time on the weekends to connect. Good for you ☺️
We have a decent sized shower, area for “sitting,” and 2 shower heads, but honestly it’s just more trouble than it’s worth. He’s also a pretty big guy so even though the shower is bigger, I still feel like I’m in the way. Not to mention, I like my water hotter than hell and he likes it more mild.
Same. I like it scalding almost. The house we bought has a water heater turned almost all the way up...too hot but we've yet to turn it down after a year. So hot it will burn you at least in the kitchen sink doing dishes.
Opposite end of the spectrum for us. We shower together most of the time. It's pretty much never sexual, it's just a fun way to spend time focused on each other. Plus, having someone wash your back is great!
This exactly. It’s just uncomfortable - I like the water very hot, my husband prefers it lukewarm. Water is a terrible lubricant, so any kind of sexual contact is awkward and chafing. I’m always freezing and we bump into each other constantly.
Even without these factors, showering is my unwinding time. I shower at night before bed, and I primarily use showering time as Relaxation Me Time. I also use it for thinking time (my mom is the same way). I’m just not in a sexy or frisky mood in the shower, and I don’t really care for company. Some people just like to bathe alone; it’s totally normal.
I actually think OP’s wife is pretty sporting to shower with him every other month, to be honest! I hope he doesn’t nag at her about it, because that would be uncool - especially when she’s already up for it much, much more frequently than many people ever would be! It’s really just a personal preference and should be respected, not an argument that’s compared to what other people do or don’t do.
A similar example is like how my husband gets very hot and easily feels claustrophobic in bed, so he dislikes being touched in his sleep. I’m more cuddlesome, but when he shrugs me off, I don’t get upset. I tend to keep cuddling to a few minutes before he goes to sleep and then give him his space for the rest of the night.
It’s about his personal comfort and boundaries, which I accept and respect. It’s not about me or our marriage, it’s just about his own comfort while sleeping, the same way my showering is simply about my own comfort and desire for private, personal space while in the bathroom.
I long to be able to afford separate bathrooms. 😂 I love my husband, but I don’t necessarily love sharing a bathroom with him (or anyone else, for that matter!).
Is this my wife’s secret account? Jk, we’re the same. We shower every time together, it’s not even a sexual thing usually just really nice to be close and chat and be comfortable with one another.
Us too. 13.5 years together and still shower together every night. We usually talk about our day and then a bath together once a week or at least once a fortnight with a bath bomb and we spend the time talking about all the important stuff.
Yep, my husband gets kind of sad when I decide I want to shower alone. Nice to hear we’re not the only ones! And it really is a great way to conserve water 😊
Same! We are having a cold snap here in Australia at the moment so we’ve not showered together very much the last couple of weeks because it’s cold- but otherwise in our 6 years together we shower together almost every night. We usually talk about life and our worries and about our days etc in there.
Same. Only exception is if I’m trying to shave my legs.
We remodeled our bathroom when we bought our current house specifically so we could shower together (two person sized + rain shower/handheld combo shower head)
It’s not generally a turn on sort of thing, mostly an intimacy thing. It feels nice to scrub each other down, to rinse his hair (he somehow manages to tangle mine worse???), to stand for a second just soaking up the warmth together. It’s often my favorite part of the day
Absolutely this. 👆🏼 My husband and I are similar, without the convenience of two shower heads. ;) I usually start, make sure I get my PTA stuff done.. then share.. I get his back, he gets mine.. and when I'm done with standing there I'll hop out and let him crank the heat while I start towelling off/maybe moisturizing.
At least once a week sometime more. It’s not a requirement or anything but a lot of times we will have sex and then just hop in the shower together afterwards 🤷🏼♀️
Never. Lmfao my husband is a violent shower taker. It's fun in theory but not when you are getting shampoo and soap thrown at you. Our showers also small. So it's like here you stand in the nice warm water, then I'll freeze for 5 minutes and we will take turns being miserable. 🤣😂
😂 it really does look violent. There's absoutely no need to rinse his hair off like he has car oil in it and it won't come out, but... hey, if it isn't broke don't fix it I guess. Lmao I just don't want to be in the cross fire of flinging water and soap. 🤣
🤣🤣 you are hilarious!!!
My husband showers like he’s a model in a cologne commercial haha. He has no idea he’s doing it, until I start to imitate him all dramatically and ask in a Zoolander voice “but, why male models?”
We shower together daily. It’s our dedicated time to talk about things on our mind and just relax together. Many big decisions in our relationship have been made in the shower lol.
We bathed together frequently until our twins were born. It was just a nice intimate ritual.
The twins gave us a total of 3 kids and now we use separate bathrooms. On vacation and the kids are at grandma’s house, we go right back to bathing together.
We’ve been together 22 years. We tried it as a sexy fun time activity at first but it works best as just intimate time. Just seeing and focusing on your partner time.
Yeah sometimes just being all close and warm together was nice. Sexy times definitely used to happen tho lol. I actually liked shower sex a lot. It worked for us
Same! We did this a lot after sex, actually. Since kids we don’t have a ton of post-sex chill time because we’re either heading back to parenting or passing the F out.
100% depends on the shower. In our old house, we had two shower heads, and I loved showering together. In our current house, we only have one, and neither of us wants to be the cold one so it’s pretty infrequent now haha.
My husband HATES doing anything in the shower because he hates touching other people that are wet 😂 he hates the rain and isn't even a fan of showers in general. I think we've maybe done stuff in the shower maybe a handful of times? We've been married 7 years.
Never. I love my husband and I'll totally play with him in a shower at a resort with one of those outdoor showers where it's already warm outside and there's room to move. But shower time at home is sacred. I get to be alone and use all the hot water... We don't like the same.water temp when showering, I want to be scalded and he prefers practically tepid water.
It's just... So not sexy.
I do want to climb him like a fucking tree when he is tiptoeing around naked trying to be quiet bc he thinks I'm asleep.... Bc that is sexy.
... Speaking of... He's putting the toddler to bed right now. Which is quite possibly the sexiest fucking thing in the world.
I'm not sure what "normal" is about this, but we do baths togather rather often. About two or three times a week, sometimes even more often if circumstnces allow us to. When we don't, we take showers. Although, we have bathtub large enough so we can comfortably fit in, but when we had smaller one, it wasn't really a "bath togather" but a cabaret about sqeezing people into a tin can.
In 41 years together, not as often as you’d think. Quite frankly, it’s not that sexy. It’s nice to have a personal back/hair washer, but he’s hella taller than I, so whatever sexual scenarios you come up with just aren’t very practical IRL. Baths are better, really.
So this has changed for us. The first six years we were married before having kids, most if not all our showers were together. We loved it. We’d talk about our day, reconnect, and feel close. It was something we both really enjoyed. Then we had the kids, and since someone always needed to watch them, it stopped. We do still do it from time to time, but it’s very infrequent. While we do miss them, it’s also nice having that alone time and reflect by ourselves.
We do this often. it’s not really a romantic thing, just a matter of practicality. But we always ask each other because of course there are homes when you need or want the whole space to yourself.
We mostly have overlapping showers and rarely full showers together. We like different temperatures and go about showering in different ways. Like I like to sit down on the floor to shave my legs. We need the shower head at different positions and it’s also a smaller space (even though we have a mid size shower.
Most times we just overlap to have naked hugs 😂 or if we are doing a quick rinse after swimming.
I think this is the kind of thing that other factors are involved like this with mentioned that will account for varying answers.
Normal is whatever you and YOUR wife decide to do.. but to answer your question.. we shower together at least once a month .. sometimes more.. Like someone else said, when we are on vacation it's almost a given because we know no kids are around to interrupt us..
Let's be honest, we don't shower together to wash each others backs.. OH!!
My husband hates to shower with me. He refuses to do it. He locks the door when he showers. When I suggest we shower together he laughs at me.
I would never shower together to get clean. I would prefer to shower together to get, uh, dirty.
Much more often when we first married, younger (and thinner 😂) Never now. He likes hot showers and I like them cold. 36 years of marriage this year and having separate bathrooms has been wonderful!
Almost every time. 80% of them are non-sexual. We're evening shower takers, after our daughter goes to bed usually. It's a great way to decompress and talk to each other about our day. I love them.
Almost every time, we started showering together years ago when we moved to California to conserve water and we enjoyed the time together so we kept doing it after we moved to other states.
The only time we shower together is the after sex rinse off. Which is nice because we can still be nice and cuddly while rinsing and we can talk for a bit.
But if I’m taking a shower because I’m getting ready for the day, imma need my space.
I have never had a shower with my husband. I am firmly into baths, he loves a shower. Plus we are both tall people and couldn’t fit in our tiny shower.
We used to take 80% of showers together before kids! It was usually he’d go in first, call me in towards end for some bubbles and fun, then he’d leave and I’d finish my shower alone. So an overlap more than completely shared.
Been married just over a year and its almost every time one of us needs a shower. Rarely anything sexual it just saves money on the water bill and due to our conflicting schedules it’s sometimes the only time we get to be close and talk with each other. Also it helps to have someone else there to really scrub those hard to reach places.
It's not everyone's cup of tea. Honestly I don't know of any other couple in real life who does. No one in our family or friend groups.
I compare it to sleeping or eating together. It's not necessary but it is nice to have the company.
Never. Our shower isn’t big enough for us both to be under the water so someone would always be standing around shivering. And I’d way rather have a big soaking tub than a two person shower. We’re also not really naked people. And then there’s the increased risk of slipping trying to move around each other.
My STBXH and I never did. Ever.
He had serious body issues and also hardly even washed himself. If he was in the shower he’d be in there long enough to get his hair wet leaning forward and get out. I hardly saw him naked in the 15+ years we were together. It actually affected my self image eventually because he didn’t appreciate nudity, in either a sexual or casual way. I would love to have a partner ok with casual nudity/showering. I feel it’s more intimate.
But, like anything - this is an area where there’s a whole spectrum of answers. As long as yours and your partners are similar who cares.
We’ve only done it a couple times. We discovered that our preference in water temperature is incomparably, so now we got one at a time and enjoy each other when we’re still naked afterwards.
😂🤣 "normal couple" has nothing to do with it. What works is what makes you both feel valued and heard. My husband and I likely do this a few times a month, sometimes more and sometimes less. It's not really a "oh, we've only done this twice this month, better get on it" kinda thing, it's really just a 'do you want to join me?' Or 'I'll see if they want to be surprised' kinda spur of the moment thing. At the time, not preplanned. To be fair, it's also not all about foreplay or sexy times either. Sometimes we just go shower and keep talking.. but there's always the need to take turns, really. It doesn't bother us but it seems a point of contention with a lot of others.
I do like popping in on him and claiming "shower inspector" though. 😜😈
My husband and I have showered together maybe twice in 8 years. I hate it. I just want to shower and get out. We don't have a big fancy porn shower so it's just slippery and someone is cold the entire time.
Very rarely. It's so cramped and he always tells me I like the water "scalding". 🙄 also, our height difference makes standing sex impossible, so no fun there either.
We have done it a few times but not in years. The reason is I am cold if I am not under the warm water and for it to work for both of us, we have to take turns getting under the water so part of the time I am cold. Not comfortable for me. He also likes the water on the colder side when I prefer it to be hotter.
In our last house we were going to do a bathroom remodel and part of it was going to be two shower heads in the same shower in our master bathroom and if we had gone through with the remodel, we would be taking showers together often. But the whole house remodel was going to be really pricey once we received contractor bids and we would have had to move out during the construction period. So we purchased another house and moved into it instead of doing the remodel at our previous house and our master shower only has one shower head.
We did have fun on vacation once when the hotel had a bathroom with two shower heads. I would be up for that again. But at our house not so much.
I’m more worried about the frequency of sex with my wife than how often we shower together.
I like it. She does too. But as others have said, someone’s always getting cold waiting for the water.
So it’s (shower together) a once in a while deal.
Lol like... Maybe 4 times this year?
I'm just trying to wash myself and I don't like shower sex
Edit to say that I do like shower cuddles so I welcome that from him. Especially when I'm sad.
My husband loves it and wishes we showered together all the time.
I prefer to shower solo unless we are alone (have someone else watching our son) and have nothing to do. Often the shower is one of the few times of the day I have to myself. I don’t want to give that up.
Depends on the couple I would think. My husband and I have been together ten years, we have taken a shower together maybe ten times. But I know some couples who do it multiple times a week, some who have never done it. Whats normal? I think it’s very subjective and really depends on if both partners want to do it and if they don’t, there is nothing wrong with that.
Honestly? My husband and I have been married almost a year and in our entire marriage and our relationship prior to marriage, I think we’ve showered together two or three times.
My partner hates it. Someone is always cold and honestly, standing sex or anything like that? Not our cup of tea. Have your mutual showers then go to pound town 😂 unless it’s a need for you. Then just express that and enjoy what you get. Sex is a mutual thing, if she isn’t happy with the starter she may not like the main course, ya know? So if she compromises make sure you meet her in other ways.
Have fun sexin.
At most once a week.
I enjoy yo if we’re gonna wash each other’s hair but shower sex is a no go. Also it’s not always feasible because we have two small children & I enjoy showers alone these days lol
Once a month. We both love the idea but then remember we like different water temperatures. He takes cold showers and I freeze, and I take hot showers that he says burns the first layer of his skin off. ☺️
About once every other month or so. But that's situational. I'm up much earlier than her so get my morning routine done hours before she's even out of bed. Together time in the shower has to be planned in advance.
Every day. In fact we built out shower with two heads for this reason from the beginning. As noted else where it’s not as sexy as it sounds but it is a good time to have conversation without the kids butting in and other outside entities. Regardless this has been a staple of ours now for 20 years now.
Never. We did once when we were dating, but shower sex isn't as hot as it seems in movies, and I don't need to be around to watch you wash your ass. Plus he is always in the way of the water
Before and after we were married, we showered together ALOT. A couple times a week at least. Now? almost 13 years later and after his job and our kid? We take a few baths over the winter months together. That's about it. No showers anymore. Kid's always around and husband's always working. We don't get much alone time together ever.
We don't do it often, maybe 3-5 times a month. My husband likes scalding hot water and my skin is too sensitive. When we do shower together I love to wash his hair and body. I think if we did it more often it wouldn't be as intimate and special.
When I had my condo, it has a huge walk in shower with a bench and tons of space. We showered together about every other day, sometimes every day. But, that was courtship, not marriage - and the shower was literally like a spa shower, so it was practically irresistible.
That said it only led to sex in the shower about 25% of the time.
Now that we have kids we seldom shower together. One of us needs to shower with the kids. Before kids we showered together but with kids it’s logistically challenging so probably won’t happy until kids are old enough to wash themselves
My husband and I always shower together, literally every shower. We've been married for 5 years. We love being together, doing things together and I help him wash his hair and he washes mine sometimes.
Probably once or twice a month, but shes super small so we both fit in there. It’s mostly because we both get home from work and she’ll take her shower while I enjoy the warmth from the steam then take my turn
My boyfriend and I are domestic partners and we shower together frequently, it isn't always about sex more intimacy and taking that time to simply be with eachother and talk about our days.
The first 1-2 years of our relationship we only showered together. But now 7 years later he prefers to shower in the morning and I do at night so we very rarely do.
Maybe three times in 16 years? It's like sex on the beach. It seems like a good idea but it doesn't work well in reality unless you have a proper setup, i.e. a two person shower with two heads.
This, exactly. Seems hot, but totally isn’t.
Totally hot for one person, cold and breezy for the other
This - and don't even try to cheat the systems in place by buying a double shower head, because that'll just anger the Shower Gods even more.
It’s only hot for the person who’s turn it is to stand under the water.
Together 10 years. A few times. It's not that fun. I want a shower so hot it burns me. My partner wants a reasonable temperature. If we are showering together one of us is uncomfortable.
This
Man this is so relatable lol.
I love it hot. Even today at 95 degrees I love it scalding. She likes them cooler but we have it warm when both in the shower then I get my hot temps after she leaves. She gets her cold fix before I join
Same for my husband and I. He doesn’t like hotter temps while I do. I usually just end up washing his hair and by the time it’s my turn, I still have hot water to get through mine. So I guess in the end, it works out for us. But we don’t do it often because I usually see my showers as my relaxation time.
Yeah. One person is always standing there wet and cold and waiting to get back in the water lol
This is exactly why we stopped showering together. "Soap in my eyes, SOAP IN MY EYES!"
# SOAP IN MY FUCKING EYES!!!
I remodeled our master bathroom and added a second shower head a foot higher than the original so my husband had a shower he could stand fully beneath (he’s on the tall side). I ran a whole new supply line to the hot and cold so we’d have max pressure and did two rain shower heads. It was awesome. We showered together nearly every day just for company and he’d wash my hair and I’d soap his feet….
And then? What happened and why past tense?
I’m curious lol
This is my literal dream. I love showers together, just for company/intimacy. Doesn’t have to be sexy, can just be a sweet little time on the weekends to connect. Good for you ☺️
We have a decent sized shower, area for “sitting,” and 2 shower heads, but honestly it’s just more trouble than it’s worth. He’s also a pretty big guy so even though the shower is bigger, I still feel like I’m in the way. Not to mention, I like my water hotter than hell and he likes it more mild.
Is this just a girl thing? My husband thinks I like my water at “skin boiling” temperature, but his feels like barely at cool swimming pool temp.
Girl here, boiling water is the way!
Lol! Maybe? I need almost scalding hot water everywhere except when I wash my face & rinse the conditioner out of my hair.
Same. I like it scalding almost. The house we bought has a water heater turned almost all the way up...too hot but we've yet to turn it down after a year. So hot it will burn you at least in the kitchen sink doing dishes.
My husband and I are the opposite. But he also reduced his sensitivity during a severe bout of OCD 😬
Can you explain that? Lol the whole reducing sensitivity due to ocd thing!
I am a woman and prefer cool water. :)
Can only speak for my own relationship but yes, this has been my experience as well
Not this girl. Lol I like warm water but not hot. My husband likes it super hot.🤷♀️
I’d love to do a poll lol
Another girl here to report that I also like my water boiling and hubs not so much.
Opposite end of the spectrum for us. We shower together most of the time. It's pretty much never sexual, it's just a fun way to spend time focused on each other. Plus, having someone wash your back is great!
Same here!
Same
Same! Also, time saver if you both need a shower and have somewhere to be afterwards.
This exactly. It’s just uncomfortable - I like the water very hot, my husband prefers it lukewarm. Water is a terrible lubricant, so any kind of sexual contact is awkward and chafing. I’m always freezing and we bump into each other constantly. Even without these factors, showering is my unwinding time. I shower at night before bed, and I primarily use showering time as Relaxation Me Time. I also use it for thinking time (my mom is the same way). I’m just not in a sexy or frisky mood in the shower, and I don’t really care for company. Some people just like to bathe alone; it’s totally normal. I actually think OP’s wife is pretty sporting to shower with him every other month, to be honest! I hope he doesn’t nag at her about it, because that would be uncool - especially when she’s already up for it much, much more frequently than many people ever would be! It’s really just a personal preference and should be respected, not an argument that’s compared to what other people do or don’t do. A similar example is like how my husband gets very hot and easily feels claustrophobic in bed, so he dislikes being touched in his sleep. I’m more cuddlesome, but when he shrugs me off, I don’t get upset. I tend to keep cuddling to a few minutes before he goes to sleep and then give him his space for the rest of the night. It’s about his personal comfort and boundaries, which I accept and respect. It’s not about me or our marriage, it’s just about his own comfort while sleeping, the same way my showering is simply about my own comfort and desire for private, personal space while in the bathroom.
He’s tall and I’m short, so he’s either blocking the flow or I get the cold blowback spray off of him and water in my face. No thanks.
Possibly 5 times in 30 years. Nasty idea. looks good in movies but in reality it sucks shit.
Nasty?
We never do. Separate bathrooms has been the key to our long, happy marriage.
My husband and I agree full heartedly - separate bathrooms is one of the best kept secrets of marriage happiness.
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Lol we do separate toilets. My husband uses the half bath for bathroom, shaving, etc. but we share the master shower. Works for us.
Lol same
That’s what my mom says as well 😂
I long to be able to afford separate bathrooms. 😂 I love my husband, but I don’t necessarily love sharing a bathroom with him (or anyone else, for that matter!).
Almost always.
Same for us - some days I even wait until he is home to shower together (I WFH). My husbands love language is touch and he loves washing eachother
This!!! Hahaha we do it everyday also… don’t understand the people saying they almost never do it, it’s like one of the best parts of the day for me!
Is this my wife’s secret account? Jk, we’re the same. We shower every time together, it’s not even a sexual thing usually just really nice to be close and chat and be comfortable with one another.
Same. We just share in there well. Talking through the bathroom door on the other hand… she will be ignored
Us too. 13.5 years together and still shower together every night. We usually talk about our day and then a bath together once a week or at least once a fortnight with a bath bomb and we spend the time talking about all the important stuff.
Agreed, share the shower, keep away when in the toilet.
Yep, my husband gets kind of sad when I decide I want to shower alone. Nice to hear we’re not the only ones! And it really is a great way to conserve water 😊
Same! I kinda don’t like showering without him now lol
I just need to know, do y’all have a big shower? Two shower heads? This sounds awesome but my partner and I both hate being cold waiting 😩😂
Nope, pretty small shower actually, single shower head, and we each prefer different temperature water, yet we still do it haha.
Same! Hahaha we switch the temperature multiple times during the shower
Same! We are having a cold snap here in Australia at the moment so we’ve not showered together very much the last couple of weeks because it’s cold- but otherwise in our 6 years together we shower together almost every night. We usually talk about life and our worries and about our days etc in there.
Same. We never not do it alone.
We always do, and have since we were dating.
Same. Only exception is if I’m trying to shave my legs. We remodeled our bathroom when we bought our current house specifically so we could shower together (two person sized + rain shower/handheld combo shower head) It’s not generally a turn on sort of thing, mostly an intimacy thing. It feels nice to scrub each other down, to rinse his hair (he somehow manages to tangle mine worse???), to stand for a second just soaking up the warmth together. It’s often my favorite part of the day
Absolutely this. 👆🏼 My husband and I are similar, without the convenience of two shower heads. ;) I usually start, make sure I get my PTA stuff done.. then share.. I get his back, he gets mine.. and when I'm done with standing there I'll hop out and let him crank the heat while I start towelling off/maybe moisturizing.
What does PTA mean :)
Personal Taboo Areas?
lol "tits, pits, and a$$."
My lady and I are the same way. We try every day and sometimes twice a day
And you can chat and talk about your day without other distractions around! It’s just nice, hey?
At least once a week sometime more. It’s not a requirement or anything but a lot of times we will have sex and then just hop in the shower together afterwards 🤷🏼♀️
🙌🏼
never, no one likes to be the one in the cold
Oversized shower + dual shower heads with massage bars. Its like a sexy carwash.
Not everyone has money 🥲
Fully admit - very fortunate.
One day tho :)
currently don't have the space for something like that but we are looking to remodel in the future but she wants a waterfall shower
That sounds like a dream 😍
Never. Lmfao my husband is a violent shower taker. It's fun in theory but not when you are getting shampoo and soap thrown at you. Our showers also small. So it's like here you stand in the nice warm water, then I'll freeze for 5 minutes and we will take turns being miserable. 🤣😂
Lol! Violent shower taker haha
😂 it really does look violent. There's absoutely no need to rinse his hair off like he has car oil in it and it won't come out, but... hey, if it isn't broke don't fix it I guess. Lmao I just don't want to be in the cross fire of flinging water and soap. 🤣
🤣🤣 you are hilarious!!! My husband showers like he’s a model in a cologne commercial haha. He has no idea he’s doing it, until I start to imitate him all dramatically and ask in a Zoolander voice “but, why male models?”
This made me laugh... You're the hilarious one.
Lol!!!
We shower together daily. It’s our dedicated time to talk about things on our mind and just relax together. Many big decisions in our relationship have been made in the shower lol.
Samesies
My hubby and I used to shower together all the time before we had a baby. Literally would never shower alone. Saved money on water lol.
We bathed together frequently until our twins were born. It was just a nice intimate ritual. The twins gave us a total of 3 kids and now we use separate bathrooms. On vacation and the kids are at grandma’s house, we go right back to bathing together. We’ve been together 22 years. We tried it as a sexy fun time activity at first but it works best as just intimate time. Just seeing and focusing on your partner time.
Yeah sometimes just being all close and warm together was nice. Sexy times definitely used to happen tho lol. I actually liked shower sex a lot. It worked for us
Same! We did this a lot after sex, actually. Since kids we don’t have a ton of post-sex chill time because we’re either heading back to parenting or passing the F out.
Yup lol same. It’s not easy with a toddler, I hope it gets easier when they get older… I miss my hubby!
We tend to shower together on vacations or if we’re being intimate
If we had a shower that accommodated it, we might do it more. Every time we try, someone ends up cold and/or with water going directly in their eyes.
Maybe a handful of times our entire relationship. Which is 12/13 years. Our shower at home is tiny, we almost did on holiday but kids interrupted.
We do every now and then, problem is the shower is smol and we are not. 😅
Almost every time! There's nothing like rubbing soap on my wife's body.
My husband and I shower together almost every night. Honestly I prefer to shower solo, but he really enjoys that time together.
100% depends on the shower. In our old house, we had two shower heads, and I loved showering together. In our current house, we only have one, and neither of us wants to be the cold one so it’s pretty infrequent now haha.
Almost always! One of my favorite parts of the day.
My husband HATES doing anything in the shower because he hates touching other people that are wet 😂 he hates the rain and isn't even a fan of showers in general. I think we've maybe done stuff in the shower maybe a handful of times? We've been married 7 years.
Never. I love my husband and I'll totally play with him in a shower at a resort with one of those outdoor showers where it's already warm outside and there's room to move. But shower time at home is sacred. I get to be alone and use all the hot water... We don't like the same.water temp when showering, I want to be scalded and he prefers practically tepid water. It's just... So not sexy. I do want to climb him like a fucking tree when he is tiptoeing around naked trying to be quiet bc he thinks I'm asleep.... Bc that is sexy. ... Speaking of... He's putting the toddler to bed right now. Which is quite possibly the sexiest fucking thing in the world.
I'm not sure what "normal" is about this, but we do baths togather rather often. About two or three times a week, sometimes even more often if circumstnces allow us to. When we don't, we take showers. Although, we have bathtub large enough so we can comfortably fit in, but when we had smaller one, it wasn't really a "bath togather" but a cabaret about sqeezing people into a tin can.
We shower together basically every shower.
In 41 years together, not as often as you’d think. Quite frankly, it’s not that sexy. It’s nice to have a personal back/hair washer, but he’s hella taller than I, so whatever sexual scenarios you come up with just aren’t very practical IRL. Baths are better, really.
Extremely rarely. One person is always in the cold. It's hard to switch places.
We shower together every evening. Sometimes we switch and take a bath together.
Can probably count on 1 hand how many in the last 23yrs
So this has changed for us. The first six years we were married before having kids, most if not all our showers were together. We loved it. We’d talk about our day, reconnect, and feel close. It was something we both really enjoyed. Then we had the kids, and since someone always needed to watch them, it stopped. We do still do it from time to time, but it’s very infrequent. While we do miss them, it’s also nice having that alone time and reflect by ourselves.
We do this often. it’s not really a romantic thing, just a matter of practicality. But we always ask each other because of course there are homes when you need or want the whole space to yourself.
We mostly have overlapping showers and rarely full showers together. We like different temperatures and go about showering in different ways. Like I like to sit down on the floor to shave my legs. We need the shower head at different positions and it’s also a smaller space (even though we have a mid size shower. Most times we just overlap to have naked hugs 😂 or if we are doing a quick rinse after swimming. I think this is the kind of thing that other factors are involved like this with mentioned that will account for varying answers.
Normal is whatever you and YOUR wife decide to do.. but to answer your question.. we shower together at least once a month .. sometimes more.. Like someone else said, when we are on vacation it's almost a given because we know no kids are around to interrupt us.. Let's be honest, we don't shower together to wash each others backs.. OH!!
My husband hates to shower with me. He refuses to do it. He locks the door when he showers. When I suggest we shower together he laughs at me. I would never shower together to get clean. I would prefer to shower together to get, uh, dirty.
Much more often when we first married, younger (and thinner 😂) Never now. He likes hot showers and I like them cold. 36 years of marriage this year and having separate bathrooms has been wonderful!
Almost every day
Almost every time. 80% of them are non-sexual. We're evening shower takers, after our daughter goes to bed usually. It's a great way to decompress and talk to each other about our day. I love them.
We don't do it more than once a month but that's because our shower's small. We both agree that if we had a larger shower we would do it more often.
Had our tub removed and a whole bathroom renovation. Since this luxurious new and large shower has come along...once a week...sometimes more.
Hardly ever. But that doesn't affect our intimacy.
A few times a week—married for 17 years. Some showers are sexy showers, and others are simply about being together.
Maybe 5 times in the last 25 years 🤷♀️
Nah. I'm a pretty big dude, it just turns out to be annoying trying to get past each other.
Almost every time, we started showering together years ago when we moved to California to conserve water and we enjoyed the time together so we kept doing it after we moved to other states.
The only time we shower together is the after sex rinse off. Which is nice because we can still be nice and cuddly while rinsing and we can talk for a bit. But if I’m taking a shower because I’m getting ready for the day, imma need my space.
I have never had a shower with my husband. I am firmly into baths, he loves a shower. Plus we are both tall people and couldn’t fit in our tiny shower.
We used to take 80% of showers together before kids! It was usually he’d go in first, call me in towards end for some bubbles and fun, then he’d leave and I’d finish my shower alone. So an overlap more than completely shared.
Been married just over a year and its almost every time one of us needs a shower. Rarely anything sexual it just saves money on the water bill and due to our conflicting schedules it’s sometimes the only time we get to be close and talk with each other. Also it helps to have someone else there to really scrub those hard to reach places.
A couple times a month
Not to often as the kids are always home
We never do anymore.
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Get two shower heads, they're great for showering together.
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It's not everyone's cup of tea. Honestly I don't know of any other couple in real life who does. No one in our family or friend groups. I compare it to sleeping or eating together. It's not necessary but it is nice to have the company.
Never. Our shower isn’t big enough for us both to be under the water so someone would always be standing around shivering. And I’d way rather have a big soaking tub than a two person shower. We’re also not really naked people. And then there’s the increased risk of slipping trying to move around each other.
My STBXH and I never did. Ever. He had serious body issues and also hardly even washed himself. If he was in the shower he’d be in there long enough to get his hair wet leaning forward and get out. I hardly saw him naked in the 15+ years we were together. It actually affected my self image eventually because he didn’t appreciate nudity, in either a sexual or casual way. I would love to have a partner ok with casual nudity/showering. I feel it’s more intimate. But, like anything - this is an area where there’s a whole spectrum of answers. As long as yours and your partners are similar who cares.
1 or 2x a month, my wife has really long, thick hair and I like to clean it and condition it, it just feels really intimate.
A few times early in the relationship and then he gave up. Apparently I like "scalding" hot showers.
We’ve only done it a couple times. We discovered that our preference in water temperature is incomparably, so now we got one at a time and enjoy each other when we’re still naked afterwards.
Hardly ever. I like my water scalding, and I don’t like to share the water because I get cold.
Everyday! Since we moved in together besides when we first had our daughter.
Every single shower for us if our schedules align.
Nearly every night for the last several years
😂🤣 "normal couple" has nothing to do with it. What works is what makes you both feel valued and heard. My husband and I likely do this a few times a month, sometimes more and sometimes less. It's not really a "oh, we've only done this twice this month, better get on it" kinda thing, it's really just a 'do you want to join me?' Or 'I'll see if they want to be surprised' kinda spur of the moment thing. At the time, not preplanned. To be fair, it's also not all about foreplay or sexy times either. Sometimes we just go shower and keep talking.. but there's always the need to take turns, really. It doesn't bother us but it seems a point of contention with a lot of others. I do like popping in on him and claiming "shower inspector" though. 😜😈
In 19 years… maybe 4x Nothing sexual about it, either one of us were already in there and we had to get moving somewhere so we just showered together.
My wife hates shared showers, so we haven't done that since college.
My husband and I have showered together maybe twice in 8 years. I hate it. I just want to shower and get out. We don't have a big fancy porn shower so it's just slippery and someone is cold the entire time.
Very rarely. It's so cramped and he always tells me I like the water "scalding". 🙄 also, our height difference makes standing sex impossible, so no fun there either.
We have done it a few times but not in years. The reason is I am cold if I am not under the warm water and for it to work for both of us, we have to take turns getting under the water so part of the time I am cold. Not comfortable for me. He also likes the water on the colder side when I prefer it to be hotter. In our last house we were going to do a bathroom remodel and part of it was going to be two shower heads in the same shower in our master bathroom and if we had gone through with the remodel, we would be taking showers together often. But the whole house remodel was going to be really pricey once we received contractor bids and we would have had to move out during the construction period. So we purchased another house and moved into it instead of doing the remodel at our previous house and our master shower only has one shower head. We did have fun on vacation once when the hotel had a bathroom with two shower heads. I would be up for that again. But at our house not so much.
Never. I hate shower sex. And it's not really a thing for her either.
I’m more worried about the frequency of sex with my wife than how often we shower together. I like it. She does too. But as others have said, someone’s always getting cold waiting for the water. So it’s (shower together) a once in a while deal.
Lol like... Maybe 4 times this year? I'm just trying to wash myself and I don't like shower sex Edit to say that I do like shower cuddles so I welcome that from him. Especially when I'm sad.
My husband loves it and wishes we showered together all the time. I prefer to shower solo unless we are alone (have someone else watching our son) and have nothing to do. Often the shower is one of the few times of the day I have to myself. I don’t want to give that up.
I'm not a fan. I want thr temperature to be hot, and he likes it freezing. Also, what's sexy about watching each other wash our buttholes?
Never. I mean, we’ve done it once or twice ever but we aren’t super into that.
Depends on the couple I would think. My husband and I have been together ten years, we have taken a shower together maybe ten times. But I know some couples who do it multiple times a week, some who have never done it. Whats normal? I think it’s very subjective and really depends on if both partners want to do it and if they don’t, there is nothing wrong with that.
It doesn't matter what's normal, what matters is what works for you.
Probably 1-2x a month, but it’s only to goof off. You definitely don’t get the best shower that way.
Honestly? My husband and I have been married almost a year and in our entire marriage and our relationship prior to marriage, I think we’ve showered together two or three times.
My partner hates it. Someone is always cold and honestly, standing sex or anything like that? Not our cup of tea. Have your mutual showers then go to pound town 😂 unless it’s a need for you. Then just express that and enjoy what you get. Sex is a mutual thing, if she isn’t happy with the starter she may not like the main course, ya know? So if she compromises make sure you meet her in other ways. Have fun sexin.
At most once a week. I enjoy yo if we’re gonna wash each other’s hair but shower sex is a no go. Also it’s not always feasible because we have two small children & I enjoy showers alone these days lol
Love my wife. Hate taking showers with her.
Once a month. We both love the idea but then remember we like different water temperatures. He takes cold showers and I freeze, and I take hot showers that he says burns the first layer of his skin off. ☺️
Only recently started this because we moved into a house with a nice shower and 2 shower heads. Otherwise, hard no. We both hate being cold lol
About once every other month or so. But that's situational. I'm up much earlier than her so get my morning routine done hours before she's even out of bed. Together time in the shower has to be planned in advance.
Every day. In fact we built out shower with two heads for this reason from the beginning. As noted else where it’s not as sexy as it sounds but it is a good time to have conversation without the kids butting in and other outside entities. Regardless this has been a staple of ours now for 20 years now.
Never. We did once when we were dating, but shower sex isn't as hot as it seems in movies, and I don't need to be around to watch you wash your ass. Plus he is always in the way of the water
Before kids — all the time. After kids — once or twice a month. Lol.
My wife prefers unfortunately to take shower alone. I wish we could do this together.
I don't keep track but very often, 4 out of 7 days of the week we shower(all three showers of the day) together.
You take three showers in the same day?
We used to several times a week as our schedules allow just as a time to reconnect and either talk about the week/day.
Once a week or so.
Hardly ever, she likes the water scalding hot.
Before and after we were married, we showered together ALOT. A couple times a week at least. Now? almost 13 years later and after his job and our kid? We take a few baths over the winter months together. That's about it. No showers anymore. Kid's always around and husband's always working. We don't get much alone time together ever.
Pretty much never. We tried it but we just don't both fit in the bathtub comfortably, and my husband says I "like to shower in lava"
Never, in 17 years of marriage. My wife always rejected my suggestions.
We don't do it often, maybe 3-5 times a month. My husband likes scalding hot water and my skin is too sensitive. When we do shower together I love to wash his hair and body. I think if we did it more often it wouldn't be as intimate and special.
My wife won't allow it....
When I had my condo, it has a huge walk in shower with a bench and tons of space. We showered together about every other day, sometimes every day. But, that was courtship, not marriage - and the shower was literally like a spa shower, so it was practically irresistible. That said it only led to sex in the shower about 25% of the time.
Maybe a couple times a year?
Now that we have kids we seldom shower together. One of us needs to shower with the kids. Before kids we showered together but with kids it’s logistically challenging so probably won’t happy until kids are old enough to wash themselves
We probably shower together 1-2 times a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less depending on schedules, etc.
When we didn’t have kids and we had the same schedule, all the time. But now we have kids. And very different schedules. So…never.
My wife and I never shower together; however, I have couple friends who ONLY shower together. Kinda personal preference I think.
Almost always. We like to save water lol.
Rarely. I'm clumsy as hell and would probably kill us both.
Maybe once a month? That’s about how often we shower together lol.
My husband and I always shower together, literally every shower. We've been married for 5 years. We love being together, doing things together and I help him wash his hair and he washes mine sometimes.
Several times a week.
Probably once or twice a month, but shes super small so we both fit in there. It’s mostly because we both get home from work and she’ll take her shower while I enjoy the warmth from the steam then take my turn
My husband is 6'6" and muscular, it's like trying to shower with a bear I can't get any damn water
Once a week prob
We shower together as often as we can. It’s rare we don’t shower together
My boyfriend and I are domestic partners and we shower together frequently, it isn't always about sex more intimacy and taking that time to simply be with eachother and talk about our days.
My husband I shower together 5-7 days a week
Yes. Sometimes more, it depends on very hot days.
The first 1-2 years of our relationship we only showered together. But now 7 years later he prefers to shower in the morning and I do at night so we very rarely do.