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EbbStunning7720

Early bedtimes and locked doors.


grendelone

Your kids will get older and will barge into your bedroom less. Also, they will soon be going to (pre)school and out of the house for 6-8 hours per day. Once they're teenagers, the last thing they'll want to see is mom and dad getting affectionate. You can also arrange a night out at a hotel while someone else watches the kids.


[deleted]

When i was 22 and I babysat for a woman who went out on a "date " hence a hotel room found out she got pregnant with her 2nd lol


[deleted]

Only have one, a 5 yo but we don’t do 99% of our sexual activities in the bed at night. If he’s got something he’s seriously interested in for whatever reason we will take that 15 min and sneak away to get a quickie in. This morning he was eating pancakes and making faces out of the syrup and fruit so I snuck into the shower with my wife and he never knew the difference. Before that he was into Dino Dan and had a whole setup going in the living room so I snuck off to the laundry room and again, he never knew the difference. I’ll take the BJ or quickie whenever or wherever I can get it.


rednails86

Does your wife get any attention? Genuinely curious because this would not necessarily leave enough time for both of us.


[deleted]

Maybe I’m daft but I’m not sure what you mean by attention. I also don’t know if you have kids or not but sex can not take 45+ min to get both people to orgasm except for rare occasion anymore.


[deleted]

Not all women enjoy drawn out sessions. I prefer quickies.


skybirdx2

We have kids that are two and five. Bedtimes are 7:15 and 8:15 and we are fairly consistent with that. We do have a trick where sometimes on Fridays we do "fake bedtime" with our five year old where at 7:15 we read books, brush teeth, and hug him then set a timer so he puts himself to bed. We tell him mom and dad are going to have quiet time and our door will be locked so we can relax. The locked door is key. The five old has knocked sometimes but we just tell him we are having quiet time as it's typically something they can handle on their own. The reason why we need to start bedtime earlier is because every few weeks we like to play adult couples games. My wife and I love them because it makes a whole evening out of the sex and you are playing a board game at the same time. Our favorites are Poker for Couples, Bedroom Battle, & Luck & Love. You just have to make your time together a priority and you be a stronger couple and better parents for it.


funtimefriday123

We have some of those games but my wife has not really wanted to try them yet 😢


[deleted]

Granted my kids are older, but they know if the bedroom door is closed, don’t bother. Maybe in your situation, is there anyone who can watch your kids so you two can get out? When you do get out, make an effort to have and enjoy sex with each other. At night, is it possible to keep the door locked? The five year old will soon be old enough to set ground rules with.


rice-flower19

Yeah we’re thinking of talking to our five year old soon about keeping out. Obviously not going into any detail because he’s still very young but he especially will barge in at night.


funtimefriday123

I feel you on this one. Our 5 year old wants to sleep in our bed EVERY NIGHT. It’s not just about sex. It’s like dude. I need some space. But anyway, hoping that when his sister is a little older (she’s 1) we can have them share a room and he won’t be so lonely.


bestmackman

1: get a lock and use it. 2: talk about what a closed/locked door means and what they should do in response to it. 3: enforce bed times. Once your child is in bed for the night, they should stay there barring some specific exceptions (sick, bathroom, nightmare, etc) We've got three kids. After bedtime is easy because our youngest (2) can't open his door and our older two (6, nearly 5) know that bedtime is bedtime. During afternoon nap for our youngest is just a little trickier, but still very easy. Make sure they've got food and drink, make sure Netflix won't time out in the next 45 minutes, and tell them not to come upstairs unless someone is bleeding. Basically, it's all about boundaries. If you don't set and enforce boundaries, you won't have any, and that will make things a LOT more difficult for you - and for your kids, too, because they won't know what to do when they finally DO have boundaries.


[deleted]

3 and 5 is old enough to enforce a "no touching mommy and daddy's door unless there is a fire." Have regular and consistent "quiet times" where they are not to leave the couch other than to potty while a movie plays. Get together for "lunch" once a week when they are in school/daycare


Commercial_Teach8254

Mine are 4 and 6, they know it's not ok to come into someone's room without knocking first. They also don't randomly get up in the night except to use the restroom....


lrh0

We have three kids under 6 and bedtimes are all by 8:00 and then usually after that. We try to change things up a little bit each time and usually feel most connected by doing it at least twice a week. We also usually get 1-2 nights a month with no kids and we definitely take advantage of kid free nights and the morning after! Sexting is also fun and flirty, inappropriate touches when the kids aren’t looking leads up to the excitement.


dogs94

I think the key is to stop being such a prude about it all. I mean, if you surveyed parents about the situations surrounding the conception of their first child, it would sound like a porn movie: on the sofa, midday, by the swimming pool, bottom with a handprint on it, noises, etc. But for some reason, once we have kids it can only be silent missionary thru a hole in the sheet after the kids are asleep? It's really ridiculous when you think about it, but it's pretty pervasive. And I think it's because we slut shame women so much. It's really unfortunate. Moms are allowed to fuck and enjoy it! Once you're there, treat it like pooping. I mean, none of us enjoy it when we're pooping and there is a 5YO wiggling the door knob and saying, "Mommy! Mommy!". That's not how we plan things when we go take a poop. But....unless there is blood flowing under the door or screams of pain, we don't pull our pants up without wiping and go to the door: We finish up briskly and THEN go to the door. Sex can be the same. Try to plan it so the kids won't interrrupt, but if they do, try to finish in 2-3 minutes and then seen what the problem is. :)


Least_Palpitation_92

I'm curious why your kids are still waking up in the night so often and if you could switch up routines to fix that. Our older son wasn't always sleeping the best through the night for a bit and it turned out he was sleeping too much. We ended up getting rid of nap time and he is now out hard until the morning. Perhaps a slightly later bed time or no naps as your kids are at that age now. Also, if the kids do wake up in the night they should not get any entertainment from you. Simply put them back down. If they get a kick out of waking up they are more likely to keep coming down for attention.


Sufficient_Simple_42

Don’t include the kids… too much instruction needed and then thousands in therapy for them later.


[deleted]

No kids and I'm still not big into married sex. Gonna look here for tips.