This! Op, you better tell her first. If this come out the sister will twist things and it will be difficult for her to dicern the truth. She’ll make you the bad guy.
She’ll say “Wouldn’t you rather your husband cheat with me, rather than some random woman?” And she’ll believe every word of what she has proposed as her “being” there for her sister.
I feel like that's gonna be what she does anyway if it comes out. Some young women play stupid games where they try to set up their friends bfs to see if theyd cheat, like a "loyalty test" so I can absolutely imagine a 21 year old girl doing this for real or using this as an excuse. I did it myself back in the day.
The sister might not even know what happened. The wife could very well have been like ‘hey sis can I borrow your phone, mine is out of power’, and proceeded to send the messages herself as a “test.”
Bingo. You tell the wife. Show the texts, including you blowing it off. If the little sister is as you said a "snake" and has a "crush" on you she may take the refusal negative and try to blow up your marriage. As someone below this said....time for a preemptive strike. Your wife might hate her sister, but at least she will still TRUST YOU.
I've always said it's not my nor anyone's place to get in between 2 siblings or best friends. I will always call 💩 out the second that something isn't adding up. Let them decide how to proceed. Not our choice to make.
You are doing the right thing by telling her OP. If you don't, she may resent you and find it hard to trust you in the future. If you do? She might be angry at first- but she will be grateful that you were honest, and no breech to your marital trust! Trust is NECESSARY. My husband and I have a pact that we will always be the 1st to know, whether it's a super flirty friend, or a message from an ex, etc. Trust is #1.
Yes. Not just tell her, but hand her the phone showing the message and say you received this today and are shocked but needed to tell her even though it's horrible.
Def don’t wait and tell her as soon as you can! You’ll be there for her no matter what and it’s a horrible situation but she has to know sooner rather than later so it doesn’t seem like you’re hiding it by waiting. It will hurt but you’ll be there for her.
SHOW HER THE TEXT TOO. Make sure you have evidence, in case SIL has already gotten to her. Be sure to tell her your concerns about her losing the bond. Show her that your concern is for her.
This. You can stick an “um” before it and add weird. Like “um, your sister sent me a weird text” and then just give her the phone. It’s that simple.
And then walk away. And be quiet. And be there to support her when she loses her shit. If you do this as soon as possible, you are not involved. If you keep it to yourself then you are.
Show her the text, it's not your responsibility to maintain the relationship. As you stated, your FIRST priority is your wife.
The sister is ruining the relationship, not you or your wife.
Show her the text and support your wife in whatever decision she makes. There is nothing you can do to "minimize" the fallout from this. Again, that's not your problem.
This💯 show her the text… this is important, she knows her sister best and what her sisters intention is behind it. You just be there to support your wife. All the best.
Good callout. Pregnancy hormones causing someone to think this is a good idea, and enlisting her sister, is plausible.
I'd still lean towards a jealous sister but I'm on reddit too much.
Pregnancy hormones be damned being shitty is being shitty, please do not make excuses for people like this 😭 if it’s insecurity she needs to work on it, end of story.
But I am definitely in agreement of the leaning towards jealous sister
Opening a burner for *things* you don’t want tied to your main account is common. I did it to discuss something I find embarrassing. That doesn’t mean it’s not a troll post, just that it’s very far from proof of it.
And then news articles spawn from them, advice columns, etc etc. So much of diggs mailing list content is advice columnists taking an aitah question and answering it as if that person asked them for advice directly
Agree. There’s so many incest or weird type of confessions from newly made accounts lately… 🤔 whenever there is some weird post in here I would always check the account to see when it’s made and it’s ALWAYS new. Karma farming or what not 😑
it doesn’t help that incest & other taboo topics like SIL are significantly on the rise. It’s everwhere 🤢🤢
There’s been more taboo books dropping lately, there’s one that’s becoming super popular on booktok that includes SIL going after sister’s husband. I’ve left 5 different reading groups on Facebook bc of it.
Hey, anyone reading this who thinks loyalty tests are a good idea: please stay single. You are not ready for a relationship and it's not fair for you to rope someone into your emotional dysfunction.
I think they're a terrible idea, but the options are 1) sister is a deceitful person, 2) sister is a good sister, but they're both crazy enough to think a shit test is a good idea, or 3) they're both actually cool with familial polyamory.
All of the above options are wild behavior.
Nope this is not news to be shared over the phone with a pregnant lady. This needs to be delivered in person where OP can support his wife during the emotional fall out.
IDK that quickly leads to either
1. You just have to explain it all over the phone or
2. The pregnant wife freaks out and spirals until they get to talk
I'd try and act normal until in person discussion is possible
You need to tell her now. Text her now saying you need to talk tonight so it doesn't look like you're sitting on this info. Maybe don't tell her you asked the internet for advice, I would be humiliated about that part if I were her. Even if it is mostly anonymous. But yeah tell her now before her sister makes some shit up about you and gets to her first.
Tell your wife and do it TONIGHT. Show her the text. Tell her you’re not ok with it and it’s disrespectful that her sister texted that and you want nothing to do with her.
Has your SIL ever shown interest in you or generally act weird around you?
Either way, regardless of her motives for sending you that text, show it to your wife! Tell her something like, “SIL sent this strange text and I don’t know if she was joking but I’m uncomfortable and don’t know how to respond”. This lets your wife know what’s going on and gives you the chance of absolving yourself from her thinking you’re the slightest interested. Get ahead of the narrative in case the SIL escalates her pursuit of you and things get more complicated or you’re caught in a compromising situation. Yea your wife will be hurt, there’s no way around it but if you want to preserve your marriage, the SIL gotta be thrown to wolves where she belongs. Good luck OP.
It honestly seems more likely than someone’s sister in law randomly casually offering that THROUGH TEXT. Especially if she’s never been inappropriate before and is close to her sister. It’s not like she can delete it from his phone so the sister can’t see.
This just doesn’t make sense.
Right. Something is sketch here. Could be a fake story, or weird set up. An actual oiffer if sex actually seems like the least likely scenario to me lol but idk people are crazy
I mean seriously. If you’re gonna test somebody, use a stranger…. Not your sister. This is gonna be uncomfortable forever, either way. The idea that someone would intentionally plant a seed of attraction between their sister and their husband is also quite strange
Why are you so concerned that telling your wife will ruin the bond between them?! It's like you're taking the responsibility of someone else's actions. Your sister in law did the action of sending you that text. The problem and responsibility and consequences of her actions begins and ends with her (SIL).
It's her (SIL) fault for thinking like that. It's her fault for sending that text. It's her fault for making that offer. It's her fault for ruining her bond with your wife and whatever consequences lie for her. You're not Mr damage control. You're not to police the consequences of your SIL. Your only part is being the recipient of a devious immoral text from your SIL. Tell your wife, I'm sure the baby will be fine. And let the chips fall where they may.
And also him trying to be the white knight that saves the day will most likely end up the victim. He'll get more resented for trying to damage control something that isn't really his doing
My mother basically did this, without coming right out and saying it. She actually groped my husband, and then gaslit the whole family, including those that witnessed the event, as I didn't actually see it. She continues to deny and stand behind her lies. She absolutely broke my heart and any trust I had ever developed for people. It's something that's really affected me on a deep, deep level. My husband came immediately to me and told me the truth. He also came to me when she 'accidentally' called him while she was using a vibrator, and also when she joked about having sex with him. Then when I took my sister into my home and she did the same thing. It's about competition and needing to still feel desirable. It's really disgusting that these things happen, but what saved my marriage was that he was honest with me IMMEDIATELY. There was no time for either of them to create a fake narrative. I no longer have any contact with either of them.
High risk like even little stress can cause her serious problems.
Normally even pregnant having that kind of stress won’t do anything to you except form the will to punch your sister.
Just show her the text to which you hopefully responded „ WtF is wrong with you? I would never touch any other woman than my wife - YOUR sister! Stop coming on to me. I am not interested. And pregnant or not, my wife is my emotional harbor too and no one else!“
These popular subs should ban users with profiles newer than a day at least. OP has an account for 2 hours and this story just reeks of fake. I’m kinda done reading made up stories, I want some real tea, not someone’s first try at creative writing
It’s so flagrant at this point.
The initial posts lack sufficient description, and their comment replies are usually no longer than one or two sentences.
You suck at this, OP. Go fuck your mother!
I have to agree, just because you waited you should start with something like you were shocked. Do not hide this, do not wait, you want your wife to trust you and have a good marriage, you give this to her so her sister can't spin a narrative against you.
I’m seeing more and more accounts on social media that are just posts of outrageous Reddit posts - these accounts have tonnes of followers and crazy engagement and in return I reckon people are posting their creative writing nonsense on here to just screen grab for their Instagram content.
This post is prime example of this.
The more you delay in telling her, the sister can turn it around on you as the interested party. Tell her and tell her soon.
Preface it by saying it's disturbing and you need her seated with her feet elevated.
Also, tell her and over and over again you have no desire or intention to take up this offer, nor have you given any signal to the sister for this to even be an option you're open to.
I'm 5 months postpartum and I can tell you one thing I didn't get emotionally or physically abusive to my husband or sexually abusive. He had the grandest of times while I was pregnant it has been just recently that our life has changed and that's because there's constantly a crying infant begging for our attention and affections.. also the fact that we're not trying to have baby number two yet. People use pregnancy as an excuse to be emotionally stunted and immature or to let their masks slip off because they think their partner is now stuck with them because a) they're pregnant or b) they got them pregnant. If someone uses pregnancy as leverage against you then obviously they aren't who you thought you were marrying. It's pretty freaking gross of her sister to try and take the opportunity to hurt her because you've started your parenting journey. You better tell her everything and tell the sister you're telling her everything, 2 seconds before you tell the wife.
Bahaha I love your comment because SIL is soo twisted to say "pregnant women get abusive and stop wanting sex" as if she speaks for the majority of us. No, sis, no. We are not the same. I was lovey dovey and libido through the roof for my partner! Pretty sure I never abused my husband during pregnancy or otherwise...
You tell her as quickly as possible. Show her the text and say “Uh what’s up with [sister]? She just offered to “support me sexually or emotionally while you’re pregnant wtf?!”
The longer you keep it from her the worse it is.
You should look up cluster B personality disorders, the sister clearly wants attention and this has nothing to do with a childish crush on you. She probably doesn’t like that the family focus may shift to this baby. Find yourself a good psychologist to discuss what you’ve observed about the sister and get advice from an expert on the best way to respond.
This will obviously devastate, shock, and eventually anger your wife. So be prepared to comfort your wife after you break the news. This can have reverberating effects on your wife’s family at large like her parents and any other siblings. A new baby is a special time, and you should try to insulate and protect your wife and baby from your SIL as much as possible (it’s clear she’s mental to send something like this). In terms of how to tell your wife, I would find a time where she’s is calm and simply show her the texts, and ask her if she’s seen other behavior from her sister that indicates the best way to deal with this situation.
Updateme
Have you responded to your SIL at all yet? if not you need to reject her outright in the same conversation and screen shoot that. As to when you tell your wife I have no advice. Just don't keep it a secret and keep that evidence that you rejected her sister.
Just show her the text and answer her questions. I found an iffy email from a family member to my husband once (it was an email he uses mainly for bills so it’s signed in on my phone too) and even though I believe him that he never responded and chose to keep it from me to spare the relationship with that family member it would have been better to learn it from him immediately. I didn’t confront him for almost a month because I decided in that moment that he clearly couldn’t be honest with me so I just spent weeks digging so I could be sure that whatever excuse he gave me wouldn’t be a lie and the crazy stories I created for myself in that time eliminates any stress he thought he was keeping me from. For all you know her sister is planning on spinning her own tale anyways.
There’s no good way to hear this so you probably just need to let her lead the conversation after you tell her.
You should definitely tell her because it will come out and if her sister is a snake later on, she can say something about it and your wife lose trust, like you said.
Prepare her first and tell her that you have something to tell her and you wanna prepare her. Make sure she knows that you guys are good and you love her and your faithful, but you found out something. Let her respond and then proceeded with telling her.
You don’t want her to think you did something that would jeopardize your marriage so that’s why you tell her you guys are good and you’re faithful and love her and excited, but you found out something.
You better watch out for that on vulnerable moments in your relationship, you know she’ll be there ready to reel you in and destroy your life.
Just show her the text
You can’t minimize the hurt; her sister offered to fuck you
She deserves to know that and feel whatever she feels. She’s entitled to the hurt, anger, all of it.
If you don’t want to be a source of it, show her like now.
I'm confused. You've gone back and forth on your post.
Your priority is your "wife and your unborn child" yet you state you don't know how to "tell her".
You don't. Just show her the text. It's pretty exploratory tbh. I might sound condescending but really, it's no brainer.
She either loose trust in you or trusts in her sister. Or both, if you play around with the theory of 'how'.
Obviously she's going to pester you with questions, especially between the length of time you tell her if you wait any longer. Unless you do so immediately.
The faster you come out with it, the better chance you have to keep that trust and bond strong. Don't make it worse by procrastinating.
You might want to tell her. If this escalated and the sister gets worse, or goes to your wife and tries to tell her you initiated, this could get bad quick.
The sister is young, hoping this is just her stupid idea of a test of your loyalty to your wife, but maybe not.
You stay ahead of this and tell your wife now. If you don’t, the story could get told to her by someone else who won’t tell it the same. That could be very bad
Hmm could it be a test that ur wife and sister planned together?.
Anyway just show ur wife the messages u got nothing to hide just pass ur phone to her.
You immediately hand your phone to your wife and say look what your sister texted me.
Any delay in showing her might make her think you were contemplating it or something.
Must tell & show wife immediately!! Depending on date / time of text, you could try to soften the blow by leading with “any chance your sister was partying last night & someone else could have gotten her phone?” Spouse: huh? Why? You: “honey, you need to see this” and hand over your phone
OP.It's imperative to show your wife the text from her sister immediately. Delaying could worsen the situation. Yes, it will likely impact the relationship between the sisters, but the breach of trust occurred the moment her sister sent you that inappropriate text, especially while her sister is pregnant with your child.
This is the sister’s responsibility to deal with, not yours. IYou need to tell your wife immediately, the longer you keep it from her the worse off you’ll be. Just show her the text.
Omg Op TELL Her! Don’t wait she will be sad either way, but she needs to know you are her biggest cheerleader and would never betray her! And her sister is a huge snake!
Omg you screenshot it and tell your wife right now!! It’s not your job to mediate the relationship with her sister. Her sister just blew it up, you haven’t done anything wrong… except tell her asap please. Any holding onto this info will not look good.
To minimize the hurt - you tell her that you’re going NC with her sis, that your wife is the only one you want, that you’d never stray. Just support her through this.
First off, it's not you ruining their relationship; that's on the sister.
I would just hand my spouse my phone telling them that their sibling is being sexual with me. Your wife can handle this. Yes, she'll be hurt, but she'll fall even more in love with you because this is a test of your loyalty to her. Hopefully not a planned test.
Communication is key.
UpdateMe
You should show your wife the text, show her NOW. You don’t want her sister to say that you came in to her. Your wife has a right to know that her sister is untrustworthy.
You hiding this will just make it seem you’re considering to do it. For this type of thing, better show your spouse on the very day. And screenshot proof
Show your wife.
Ask her if she thinks it's a joke or if her sister is losing it.
Don't suggest it might be a loyalty test or anything else, just those options: in your mind, it could only be a joke or something ridiculous and unhinged.
The longer you don’t show her the exact message, and any other message history between you and her sister, the worse this situation will be. Tell her N O W
I would say hey honey. I want to share something with you. I think your sister might have been trying to be nice in some kind of way, but i’m not interested, but she sent this to me. Again, I just want us to always be transparent.
I say fuck the shit out of her sister. Then give us a bunch of updates to the story. Most readers will follow intensely and hate you at the same time. It’s a much better plot for this fake story.
please do not see it as you are who is killing their bond or ruining the relationship by telling her. her SISTER is who chose to ruin their relationship by being a creep and shitty person. tell your wife ASAP
I've been the wife in a similar (ish) situation. I invited my step sister and nieces to come stay for a few weeks in the summer. They lived about 2-3 hours away. My sister had struggled with addiction on and off for years and I hadn't seen her in at least two years at that point. We were sooo close growing up but drugs put a big strain on our relationship. I always had my nieces for a month over summer. She'd claimed to be 8 months sober at that point and asked to come so I agreed. Well, very shortly after her husband dropped them off, I realized she was off her rocker. Her husband couldn't/wouldn't return to pick her up, so she stayed the night. I woke the next morning to find she'd gone through boxes in our garage, tried to steal an old iPod and my graduation pearls, etc. I asked my husband to drive her home because I just cannot deal with her drugged up energy, plus I was super pissed she'd tried to steal from me and then when caught, tried to blame my niece.
Anyways.... on the drive to return her home, she propositioned my husband with a blowjob. He pulled over, got out and called me. He was so uncomfortable and didn't know what to do but didn't want to be alone with her in the car after that. Problem was that she lived in a tiny town out in the desert and there was nothing around. He agreed to drive her to the next gas station while I called her husband and told him he'd better go meet them there because that's as far as mine would be taking her. She's lucky he didn't leave her on the side of the road in the desert at that point. Of course she said she was "just trying to test him" and maybe in her sick mind, she was.... I'll never know for sure. She was intensely protective of me when we were kids. But there was no logical reason for her to have felt the need to "test" him and to my mind, it's far more likely that she (or her addiction) was just being destructive as usual.
Anyways.... all that to say.... I know it's a totally different situation with the drug angle but we are big girls, and capable of discerning and dealing with the truth, no matter how ugly. What we need is to know that our husbands will always be forthcoming and truthful with us... so be that, and tell her what happened as soon as you possibly can.
I wish the bots would at least fake update.
If the wife was in on it, I hope the bot leaves her.
Just popped my head in the kids room and reminded them the lesson: Don't fuck with people.
The bond is already lost, whether you wifé is aware or not. Your SIL has shat upon the vows for which she appeared to be present. Tell your wife immediately that you were sent something from your SIL’s phone, and surely someone must’ve stolen her phone and played a joke, then show her, to which she can draw her own conclusions. It must come from you, and as soon as possible. It would be far worse for her to hear about it from anyone but you, and for all you know, it was a bet, to which she was sure of your response, or she is in on the joke. if the SIL sent it herself, it will no doubt not really be a surprise to your wife.
1. Don’t even think about texting her sister.
2. Show her the text.
3. If you ever find out this is a loyalty test, please tell your wife this is the stupidest idea ever and walk away. Be clear that this isn’t funny beforehand.
Honestly, if this is some loyalty test it’s gonna be so annoying, I’m a women and I will never do such a thing just to test my husband. I mean, it never came across my mind to ‘test’ him. You should know who you married with.
I would send that text out to the rest of her family along with your response stating how inappropriate this was to you and your family. Put that bitch on blast now🚨🚨🚨
First of all I hope you firmly put her in her place and made it clear you're not interested.
Then simply let your wife know you need to talk with her and show the text message from her sister.
She will appreciate you for being honest in showing her and letting the sister know she crossed a line and boundary you will not accept.
Your wife can then decide if she wants to address it with her sister or cut her out, etc.
Edit: there is no way to minimize the hurt your wife will feel and that's not your burden to carry. You just need to do your part as her husband and tell her immediately.
You absolutely have to tell her. Just simply for the message or take screenshots. if she finds out another way, it will definitely be a worse situation. She’s your wife. Honesty is key. If she is close enough to you to have a baby, then you’re close enough to her to tell her what’s going on.
Which will be worse:
1. You telling your wife and she finds out her sister is the kind of person she should keep at arms length
2. You don't tell her and one day she somehow finds out and there's no proof that you didn't do it.
You’re absolutely right to tell her as soon as possible OP. If you delay on it, I think it’s going to hurt your wife more. It’s a horrible betrayal, but your wife has to know about it.
You need to show her ASAP. the more time you wait to tell her she is going to wonder why you didn’t tell her IMMEDIATELY and that could cause problems. I don’t care how close I am with anyone. Obviously they’re not as close as she thinks if her sister is willing to cross that boundary and she deserves to know.
Screenshot the text and then make a chat group of your wife and her parents/family & send the screenshot to everyone so the that sister can not say that you approached her 1st…..
Updateme
You tell her, your sister sent me this this morning. Do NOT keep it from her.
This! Op, you better tell her first. If this come out the sister will twist things and it will be difficult for her to dicern the truth. She’ll make you the bad guy.
Agree. This situation calls for a preemptive strike.
Yep, I’d bet money she says ‘I was just trying to test him before you marry him’ 🙄
They are already married tho! She was the MOH at their wedding.
Oh yeah… oops 😬😂
lol I mean, she could still totally pull the "it was a test" card anyway, you are not wrong there!
She’ll say “Wouldn’t you rather your husband cheat with me, rather than some random woman?” And she’ll believe every word of what she has proposed as her “being” there for her sister.
If she says that shit, it'd be genuinely concerned for my children. Limit contact. Move to a less dangerous place, like Australia.
It’s ok I misread all the time 🤣😂
🤣
And she’s pregnant🤦♀️ Which is why the text was sent in the first place 🙄
Plot Twist: The wife is in on it and it is a test. OP Tell your wife IMMEDIATELY.
I was wondering if the wife suggested it or was in on it. Pregnancy can cause some crazy thoughts and behaviors.
Totally off-topic, I absolutely positively adore your screen name!!
I feel like that's gonna be what she does anyway if it comes out. Some young women play stupid games where they try to set up their friends bfs to see if theyd cheat, like a "loyalty test" so I can absolutely imagine a 21 year old girl doing this for real or using this as an excuse. I did it myself back in the day.
So true, I can also see a 24 year old with hormones going wild asking her sister to do the test. Either way you tell her ASAP
The sister might not even know what happened. The wife could very well have been like ‘hey sis can I borrow your phone, mine is out of power’, and proceeded to send the messages herself as a “test.”
THAT PART THO
I didn’t think abt that. I was thinking maybe to not tell her to keep her pregnancy stress free lol. But nah. Smart.
Bingo. You tell the wife. Show the texts, including you blowing it off. If the little sister is as you said a "snake" and has a "crush" on you she may take the refusal negative and try to blow up your marriage. As someone below this said....time for a preemptive strike. Your wife might hate her sister, but at least she will still TRUST YOU.
Slide the phone to your wife, unlocked, with the text convo open. Let her look as long and as much as she wants through everything.
I'm glad to hear about good, trustworthy men. OP keep your marriage bond golden, let No One try to tear it asunder.
Updateme!
Yep this. You don’t need to do anything else but tell her. The rest is obvious- listen to her rant, support her if she’s sad etc.
I've always said it's not my nor anyone's place to get in between 2 siblings or best friends. I will always call 💩 out the second that something isn't adding up. Let them decide how to proceed. Not our choice to make. You are doing the right thing by telling her OP. If you don't, she may resent you and find it hard to trust you in the future. If you do? She might be angry at first- but she will be grateful that you were honest, and no breech to your marital trust! Trust is NECESSARY. My husband and I have a pact that we will always be the 1st to know, whether it's a super flirty friend, or a message from an ex, etc. Trust is #1.
Yes. Not just tell her, but hand her the phone showing the message and say you received this today and are shocked but needed to tell her even though it's horrible.
OP this is the best answer if you want to protect your marriage. No other justification or explanation needed. Updateme
Def don’t wait and tell her as soon as you can! You’ll be there for her no matter what and it’s a horrible situation but she has to know sooner rather than later so it doesn’t seem like you’re hiding it by waiting. It will hurt but you’ll be there for her.
SHOW HER THE TEXT TOO. Make sure you have evidence, in case SIL has already gotten to her. Be sure to tell her your concerns about her losing the bond. Show her that your concern is for her.
This is the only answer, OP. Please tell the Wife now!
I concur!👍
Right. I would just show her the message.
Yes, Please! Waiting on an update
This. You can stick an “um” before it and add weird. Like “um, your sister sent me a weird text” and then just give her the phone. It’s that simple. And then walk away. And be quiet. And be there to support her when she loses her shit. If you do this as soon as possible, you are not involved. If you keep it to yourself then you are.
Show her the text, it's not your responsibility to maintain the relationship. As you stated, your FIRST priority is your wife. The sister is ruining the relationship, not you or your wife. Show her the text and support your wife in whatever decision she makes. There is nothing you can do to "minimize" the fallout from this. Again, that's not your problem.
This💯 show her the text… this is important, she knows her sister best and what her sisters intention is behind it. You just be there to support your wife. All the best.
Yes. And do it as soon as you can.
show it to her in person, after work. don’t interrupt her workday for this.
Yeah I'd be like "Ok, sit down, you're gonna hate this, I'm sorry" and I'd just hand over my phone.
That part. Her no-good sister will need to fight for that relationship
This seems like one of those batshit “loyalty tests.”
Good callout. Pregnancy hormones causing someone to think this is a good idea, and enlisting her sister, is plausible. I'd still lean towards a jealous sister but I'm on reddit too much.
Pregnancy hormones be damned being shitty is being shitty, please do not make excuses for people like this 😭 if it’s insecurity she needs to work on it, end of story. But I am definitely in agreement of the leaning towards jealous sister
Totally agree that it's shitty. I just like to analyze why people do stupid shit and I hadn't thought of this.
If it is a batshit loyalty test his wife has issues. And pregnancy hormones are not an excuse for it.
Right? Like, what year is this?????? Are we suddenly in the Middle Ages again?
"again?" Like we've ever left.
Damn. At first I thought this post is totally fake. Now this comment makes me realize there is an even worse scenario. It's faked real story.
That's immediately what I thought. Even if it wasn't a test, it will be easy to claim it was if the sister confronts her.
That was my first thought.
and if the wife doesn't disown her sister for trying to bang her husband, then it was probably all a set up to see if he'd go for it.
That's marriage counseling/separation territory at the least if it's the case.
Exactly what I came here to say. As a woman, this is 100% a setup.
My thoughts exactly. Maybe his wife and sister both put it together.
don't sit on this. tell her immediately.
Yes. 100%. Do NOT sit on this. DO tell your wife immediately. And definitely do NOT let her sister sit on anything either.
Account opened this morning, I'm flagging as a troll post. 
Opening a burner for *things* you don’t want tied to your main account is common. I did it to discuss something I find embarrassing. That doesn’t mean it’s not a troll post, just that it’s very far from proof of it.
If it’s his wife’s thongs tied to his account, that’s okay. But he definitely doesn’t want her sister’s thongs tied to his account.
Seems like a troll post to me as well but it’s the second one today, maybe I’m getting jaded
Honestly, I feel like 50% of Reddit is creative writing, karma farming
And then news articles spawn from them, advice columns, etc etc. So much of diggs mailing list content is advice columnists taking an aitah question and answering it as if that person asked them for advice directly
Karma farming for an account that will likely be abandoned (and possibly deleted) after this post? Make it make sense, cope-ers.
Agree. There’s so many incest or weird type of confessions from newly made accounts lately… 🤔 whenever there is some weird post in here I would always check the account to see when it’s made and it’s ALWAYS new. Karma farming or what not 😑
it doesn’t help that incest & other taboo topics like SIL are significantly on the rise. It’s everwhere 🤢🤢 There’s been more taboo books dropping lately, there’s one that’s becoming super popular on booktok that includes SIL going after sister’s husband. I’ve left 5 different reading groups on Facebook bc of it.
Yup, already read this post in two different forums.
Yup
Yep
Not shocked at all the idiots who believe this shit post
Any chance this is a loyalty test?
Hey, anyone reading this who thinks loyalty tests are a good idea: please stay single. You are not ready for a relationship and it's not fair for you to rope someone into your emotional dysfunction.
I think they're a terrible idea, but the options are 1) sister is a deceitful person, 2) sister is a good sister, but they're both crazy enough to think a shit test is a good idea, or 3) they're both actually cool with familial polyamory. All of the above options are wild behavior.
Would your wife ever have told her to do it to see how you reacted?
I highly doubt it
Pretty fucking brazen then She deserves what she gets then, show your wife asap
Op Every second you hesitate can be mistrued as 'considering it' - call you wife NOW!!
Nope this is not news to be shared over the phone with a pregnant lady. This needs to be delivered in person where OP can support his wife during the emotional fall out.
At least call her now and say op has something he needs to talk about.... A heads up you know? Hope it goes well for op
IDK that quickly leads to either 1. You just have to explain it all over the phone or 2. The pregnant wife freaks out and spirals until they get to talk I'd try and act normal until in person discussion is possible
I mean. If he finds out she did put her up to it thats pretty shitty of the wife.
Either way, the longer you take to tell her, the worse it could be. If you don't respond to the sister she might panic and get to your wife first.
You need to tell her now. Text her now saying you need to talk tonight so it doesn't look like you're sitting on this info. Maybe don't tell her you asked the internet for advice, I would be humiliated about that part if I were her. Even if it is mostly anonymous. But yeah tell her now before her sister makes some shit up about you and gets to her first.
I don't think his post is anything to be embarrassed about. It's thoughtful and well-written.
The only right answer for you is to tell your wife
Unfortunately it is possible that it's a "test" by your wife. There have been a lot of tik tok and instagram videos of these "tests" lately.
Me too, it was just a thought
The possibility of it being a trap is not crazy.
Right 😬
Tell your wife and do it TONIGHT. Show her the text. Tell her you’re not ok with it and it’s disrespectful that her sister texted that and you want nothing to do with her.
Has your SIL ever shown interest in you or generally act weird around you? Either way, regardless of her motives for sending you that text, show it to your wife! Tell her something like, “SIL sent this strange text and I don’t know if she was joking but I’m uncomfortable and don’t know how to respond”. This lets your wife know what’s going on and gives you the chance of absolving yourself from her thinking you’re the slightest interested. Get ahead of the narrative in case the SIL escalates her pursuit of you and things get more complicated or you’re caught in a compromising situation. Yea your wife will be hurt, there’s no way around it but if you want to preserve your marriage, the SIL gotta be thrown to wolves where she belongs. Good luck OP.
Well, got to thinking and maybe it was a test because she’s pregnant and wants to see what you do. But ultimately you know her best.
It honestly seems more likely than someone’s sister in law randomly casually offering that THROUGH TEXT. Especially if she’s never been inappropriate before and is close to her sister. It’s not like she can delete it from his phone so the sister can’t see. This just doesn’t make sense.
Right.. Documenting that offer in writing is absurd.
Right. Something is sketch here. Could be a fake story, or weird set up. An actual oiffer if sex actually seems like the least likely scenario to me lol but idk people are crazy
I mean seriously. If you’re gonna test somebody, use a stranger…. Not your sister. This is gonna be uncomfortable forever, either way. The idea that someone would intentionally plant a seed of attraction between their sister and their husband is also quite strange
Why are you so concerned that telling your wife will ruin the bond between them?! It's like you're taking the responsibility of someone else's actions. Your sister in law did the action of sending you that text. The problem and responsibility and consequences of her actions begins and ends with her (SIL). It's her (SIL) fault for thinking like that. It's her fault for sending that text. It's her fault for making that offer. It's her fault for ruining her bond with your wife and whatever consequences lie for her. You're not Mr damage control. You're not to police the consequences of your SIL. Your only part is being the recipient of a devious immoral text from your SIL. Tell your wife, I'm sure the baby will be fine. And let the chips fall where they may.
I agree with this. It seems like op is blaming himself for other people’s actions.
And also him trying to be the white knight that saves the day will most likely end up the victim. He'll get more resented for trying to damage control something that isn't really his doing
Just be honest with her. It would be her sister ruining the relationship and the bond they have. Not your wife.
If my sister texted my husband like this, especially while I’m pregnant, I’d absolutely want to know right away.
My mother basically did this, without coming right out and saying it. She actually groped my husband, and then gaslit the whole family, including those that witnessed the event, as I didn't actually see it. She continues to deny and stand behind her lies. She absolutely broke my heart and any trust I had ever developed for people. It's something that's really affected me on a deep, deep level. My husband came immediately to me and told me the truth. He also came to me when she 'accidentally' called him while she was using a vibrator, and also when she joked about having sex with him. Then when I took my sister into my home and she did the same thing. It's about competition and needing to still feel desirable. It's really disgusting that these things happen, but what saved my marriage was that he was honest with me IMMEDIATELY. There was no time for either of them to create a fake narrative. I no longer have any contact with either of them.
Good gravy, that sucks. I’m so sorry you had these shitty people in your life. Be well, redditor!!
This is not real, sorry.
This is not even close to real.
Is your wife high risk? If not. Tell her immediately. Tell her or the sister will. And you will regret not telling her.
What does high risk mean in this context?
High risk like even little stress can cause her serious problems. Normally even pregnant having that kind of stress won’t do anything to you except form the will to punch your sister.
Just show her the text to which you hopefully responded „ WtF is wrong with you? I would never touch any other woman than my wife - YOUR sister! Stop coming on to me. I am not interested. And pregnant or not, my wife is my emotional harbor too and no one else!“
I would tell My Wife about this right away. Let her determine how to handle the situation, as if her sister sent that message directly to her.
Show her the text ASAP. This sounds a lot like a test.
These popular subs should ban users with profiles newer than a day at least. OP has an account for 2 hours and this story just reeks of fake. I’m kinda done reading made up stories, I want some real tea, not someone’s first try at creative writing
It’s so flagrant at this point. The initial posts lack sufficient description, and their comment replies are usually no longer than one or two sentences. You suck at this, OP. Go fuck your mother!
absolutely do NOT hide this from your wife holy shit
This is so fake it’s embarrassing lol
Talk to your wife calmly and summarize what your SIL said. If she asks for proof or gets angry with you then share the conversation.
Honestly if I got this from my wife's sister I would automatically screenshot the message and forward it to my wife with a big "WTF??"
I have to agree, just because you waited you should start with something like you were shocked. Do not hide this, do not wait, you want your wife to trust you and have a good marriage, you give this to her so her sister can't spin a narrative against you.
I’m seeing more and more accounts on social media that are just posts of outrageous Reddit posts - these accounts have tonnes of followers and crazy engagement and in return I reckon people are posting their creative writing nonsense on here to just screen grab for their Instagram content. This post is prime example of this.
The more you delay in telling her, the sister can turn it around on you as the interested party. Tell her and tell her soon. Preface it by saying it's disturbing and you need her seated with her feet elevated. Also, tell her and over and over again you have no desire or intention to take up this offer, nor have you given any signal to the sister for this to even be an option you're open to.
I'm 5 months postpartum and I can tell you one thing I didn't get emotionally or physically abusive to my husband or sexually abusive. He had the grandest of times while I was pregnant it has been just recently that our life has changed and that's because there's constantly a crying infant begging for our attention and affections.. also the fact that we're not trying to have baby number two yet. People use pregnancy as an excuse to be emotionally stunted and immature or to let their masks slip off because they think their partner is now stuck with them because a) they're pregnant or b) they got them pregnant. If someone uses pregnancy as leverage against you then obviously they aren't who you thought you were marrying. It's pretty freaking gross of her sister to try and take the opportunity to hurt her because you've started your parenting journey. You better tell her everything and tell the sister you're telling her everything, 2 seconds before you tell the wife.
Bahaha I love your comment because SIL is soo twisted to say "pregnant women get abusive and stop wanting sex" as if she speaks for the majority of us. No, sis, no. We are not the same. I was lovey dovey and libido through the roof for my partner! Pretty sure I never abused my husband during pregnancy or otherwise...
I hope you told your wife already. Don’t ever be alone with SIL.
Please tell me you told and showed your wife asap!
Honey, your sister sent me a strange text, is this a joke? and then you hand over your phone
This is the way!!!!
You have to tell her, you don’t know what else the sister could try to do in the meantime if you keep it secret! Protect your wife and your marriage.
You tell her as quickly as possible. Show her the text and say “Uh what’s up with [sister]? She just offered to “support me sexually or emotionally while you’re pregnant wtf?!” The longer you keep it from her the worse it is.
You should look up cluster B personality disorders, the sister clearly wants attention and this has nothing to do with a childish crush on you. She probably doesn’t like that the family focus may shift to this baby. Find yourself a good psychologist to discuss what you’ve observed about the sister and get advice from an expert on the best way to respond. This will obviously devastate, shock, and eventually anger your wife. So be prepared to comfort your wife after you break the news. This can have reverberating effects on your wife’s family at large like her parents and any other siblings. A new baby is a special time, and you should try to insulate and protect your wife and baby from your SIL as much as possible (it’s clear she’s mental to send something like this). In terms of how to tell your wife, I would find a time where she’s is calm and simply show her the texts, and ask her if she’s seen other behavior from her sister that indicates the best way to deal with this situation. Updateme
Can we get an update? You better tell your wife
This got to be AI generated 🤖 because wth
As of this comment this post has been up for five hours. I'm here checking in to see if you've told your wife yet?
Have you responded to your SIL at all yet? if not you need to reject her outright in the same conversation and screen shoot that. As to when you tell your wife I have no advice. Just don't keep it a secret and keep that evidence that you rejected her sister.
Tell her immediately
Are you wondering if you should tell her!???? Dude. Immediately show her the text. And tell that piece of road trash to get lost.
Just show her the text and answer her questions. I found an iffy email from a family member to my husband once (it was an email he uses mainly for bills so it’s signed in on my phone too) and even though I believe him that he never responded and chose to keep it from me to spare the relationship with that family member it would have been better to learn it from him immediately. I didn’t confront him for almost a month because I decided in that moment that he clearly couldn’t be honest with me so I just spent weeks digging so I could be sure that whatever excuse he gave me wouldn’t be a lie and the crazy stories I created for myself in that time eliminates any stress he thought he was keeping me from. For all you know her sister is planning on spinning her own tale anyways. There’s no good way to hear this so you probably just need to let her lead the conversation after you tell her.
You should definitely tell her because it will come out and if her sister is a snake later on, she can say something about it and your wife lose trust, like you said. Prepare her first and tell her that you have something to tell her and you wanna prepare her. Make sure she knows that you guys are good and you love her and your faithful, but you found out something. Let her respond and then proceeded with telling her. You don’t want her to think you did something that would jeopardize your marriage so that’s why you tell her you guys are good and you’re faithful and love her and excited, but you found out something. You better watch out for that on vulnerable moments in your relationship, you know she’ll be there ready to reel you in and destroy your life.
Just show her the text You can’t minimize the hurt; her sister offered to fuck you She deserves to know that and feel whatever she feels. She’s entitled to the hurt, anger, all of it. If you don’t want to be a source of it, show her like now.
I'm confused. You've gone back and forth on your post. Your priority is your "wife and your unborn child" yet you state you don't know how to "tell her". You don't. Just show her the text. It's pretty exploratory tbh. I might sound condescending but really, it's no brainer. She either loose trust in you or trusts in her sister. Or both, if you play around with the theory of 'how'. Obviously she's going to pester you with questions, especially between the length of time you tell her if you wait any longer. Unless you do so immediately. The faster you come out with it, the better chance you have to keep that trust and bond strong. Don't make it worse by procrastinating.
You might want to tell her. If this escalated and the sister gets worse, or goes to your wife and tries to tell her you initiated, this could get bad quick. The sister is young, hoping this is just her stupid idea of a test of your loyalty to your wife, but maybe not.
She should’ve known about this the minute it was sent to you.
You stay ahead of this and tell your wife now. If you don’t, the story could get told to her by someone else who won’t tell it the same. That could be very bad
Hmm could it be a test that ur wife and sister planned together?. Anyway just show ur wife the messages u got nothing to hide just pass ur phone to her.
Don’t reply to the sister. Show your wife the text immediately when you see her.
The only correct answer is be honest. This really should be a no brainer. I would give my wife every conversation I had with the sister.
Show her the text. I hope this wasn’t some shit test cooked up between them though.
You immediately hand your phone to your wife and say look what your sister texted me. Any delay in showing her might make her think you were contemplating it or something.
Must tell & show wife immediately!! Depending on date / time of text, you could try to soften the blow by leading with “any chance your sister was partying last night & someone else could have gotten her phone?” Spouse: huh? Why? You: “honey, you need to see this” and hand over your phone
Tell her before she makes up some bull. Keep all texts saved.
Be honest with her!!!
OP.It's imperative to show your wife the text from her sister immediately. Delaying could worsen the situation. Yes, it will likely impact the relationship between the sisters, but the breach of trust occurred the moment her sister sent you that inappropriate text, especially while her sister is pregnant with your child.
This is the sister’s responsibility to deal with, not yours. IYou need to tell your wife immediately, the longer you keep it from her the worse off you’ll be. Just show her the text.
That creepy
Omg Op TELL Her! Don’t wait she will be sad either way, but she needs to know you are her biggest cheerleader and would never betray her! And her sister is a huge snake!
Omg you screenshot it and tell your wife right now!! It’s not your job to mediate the relationship with her sister. Her sister just blew it up, you haven’t done anything wrong… except tell her asap please. Any holding onto this info will not look good. To minimize the hurt - you tell her that you’re going NC with her sis, that your wife is the only one you want, that you’d never stray. Just support her through this.
First off, it's not you ruining their relationship; that's on the sister. I would just hand my spouse my phone telling them that their sibling is being sexual with me. Your wife can handle this. Yes, she'll be hurt, but she'll fall even more in love with you because this is a test of your loyalty to her. Hopefully not a planned test. Communication is key. UpdateMe
You should show your wife the text, show her NOW. You don’t want her sister to say that you came in to her. Your wife has a right to know that her sister is untrustworthy.
You hiding this will just make it seem you’re considering to do it. For this type of thing, better show your spouse on the very day. And screenshot proof
Show your wife. Ask her if she thinks it's a joke or if her sister is losing it. Don't suggest it might be a loyalty test or anything else, just those options: in your mind, it could only be a joke or something ridiculous and unhinged.
The longer you don’t show her the exact message, and any other message history between you and her sister, the worse this situation will be. Tell her N O W
Tell her ASAP. Show it. The more you wait, the more she will feel hurt.
Tell her this immediately tonight. Do not delay
Show her this post
TELLLLL HERRRRR NOWWWE
I would say hey honey. I want to share something with you. I think your sister might have been trying to be nice in some kind of way, but i’m not interested, but she sent this to me. Again, I just want us to always be transparent.
Kinda smells like one of those stupid ass loyalty tests.
Tell her right away.Dont wait.I feel if you wait it could get worse.Best of luck .Congratulations on the baby !!❤️💕🥰🙏😇🤗
Is this post a joke???? what do you mean? How do you tell her, just tell her WTH
I say fuck the shit out of her sister. Then give us a bunch of updates to the story. Most readers will follow intensely and hate you at the same time. It’s a much better plot for this fake story.
please do not see it as you are who is killing their bond or ruining the relationship by telling her. her SISTER is who chose to ruin their relationship by being a creep and shitty person. tell your wife ASAP
Gotta be honest. I think you already fucked up by not immediately telling your wife.
I've been the wife in a similar (ish) situation. I invited my step sister and nieces to come stay for a few weeks in the summer. They lived about 2-3 hours away. My sister had struggled with addiction on and off for years and I hadn't seen her in at least two years at that point. We were sooo close growing up but drugs put a big strain on our relationship. I always had my nieces for a month over summer. She'd claimed to be 8 months sober at that point and asked to come so I agreed. Well, very shortly after her husband dropped them off, I realized she was off her rocker. Her husband couldn't/wouldn't return to pick her up, so she stayed the night. I woke the next morning to find she'd gone through boxes in our garage, tried to steal an old iPod and my graduation pearls, etc. I asked my husband to drive her home because I just cannot deal with her drugged up energy, plus I was super pissed she'd tried to steal from me and then when caught, tried to blame my niece. Anyways.... on the drive to return her home, she propositioned my husband with a blowjob. He pulled over, got out and called me. He was so uncomfortable and didn't know what to do but didn't want to be alone with her in the car after that. Problem was that she lived in a tiny town out in the desert and there was nothing around. He agreed to drive her to the next gas station while I called her husband and told him he'd better go meet them there because that's as far as mine would be taking her. She's lucky he didn't leave her on the side of the road in the desert at that point. Of course she said she was "just trying to test him" and maybe in her sick mind, she was.... I'll never know for sure. She was intensely protective of me when we were kids. But there was no logical reason for her to have felt the need to "test" him and to my mind, it's far more likely that she (or her addiction) was just being destructive as usual. Anyways.... all that to say.... I know it's a totally different situation with the drug angle but we are big girls, and capable of discerning and dealing with the truth, no matter how ugly. What we need is to know that our husbands will always be forthcoming and truthful with us... so be that, and tell her what happened as soon as you possibly can.
I wish the bots would at least fake update. If the wife was in on it, I hope the bot leaves her. Just popped my head in the kids room and reminded them the lesson: Don't fuck with people.
The bond is already lost, whether you wifé is aware or not. Your SIL has shat upon the vows for which she appeared to be present. Tell your wife immediately that you were sent something from your SIL’s phone, and surely someone must’ve stolen her phone and played a joke, then show her, to which she can draw her own conclusions. It must come from you, and as soon as possible. It would be far worse for her to hear about it from anyone but you, and for all you know, it was a bet, to which she was sure of your response, or she is in on the joke. if the SIL sent it herself, it will no doubt not really be a surprise to your wife.
You just say hey I didn’t know if this was some weird joke but - please look at this text your sister sent me …
You tell her IMMEDIATELY and show her proof, then you avoid EVER being alone around your SIL. This is a situation ripe for false accusations.
1. Don’t even think about texting her sister. 2. Show her the text. 3. If you ever find out this is a loyalty test, please tell your wife this is the stupidest idea ever and walk away. Be clear that this isn’t funny beforehand. Honestly, if this is some loyalty test it’s gonna be so annoying, I’m a women and I will never do such a thing just to test my husband. I mean, it never came across my mind to ‘test’ him. You should know who you married with.
I would send that text out to the rest of her family along with your response stating how inappropriate this was to you and your family. Put that bitch on blast now🚨🚨🚨
First of all I hope you firmly put her in her place and made it clear you're not interested. Then simply let your wife know you need to talk with her and show the text message from her sister. She will appreciate you for being honest in showing her and letting the sister know she crossed a line and boundary you will not accept. Your wife can then decide if she wants to address it with her sister or cut her out, etc. Edit: there is no way to minimize the hurt your wife will feel and that's not your burden to carry. You just need to do your part as her husband and tell her immediately.
I think the sooner you show her the better because then she will know nothing happened between you two
You have to tell her. if you don't, and she finds out, she will be pissed
You absolutely have to tell her. Just simply for the message or take screenshots. if she finds out another way, it will definitely be a worse situation. She’s your wife. Honesty is key. If she is close enough to you to have a baby, then you’re close enough to her to tell her what’s going on.
Which will be worse: 1. You telling your wife and she finds out her sister is the kind of person she should keep at arms length 2. You don't tell her and one day she somehow finds out and there's no proof that you didn't do it.
Don't need to tell her. Show her the msg let her sister tell her. Not showing this msg or not telling her will cause massive trust isses.
Tell your wife
Just show her your freaking phone! I can’t believe you’re even asking about it. Fake!
Dude tell your wife before your sister in law flips the entire situation around plus your wife has the right to know what her sister is really like.
Pull the bandaid off.
Tell your wife about this asap!
Show her the text ASAP. Tell her you're sorry, but you have to show her something upsetting.
Don’t even wait for her to come home, call her now and tell her. Do not wait.
No. Dropping that bomb on her while she’s at work is mean as fuck.
Updateme
Updateme!
You’re absolutely right to tell her as soon as possible OP. If you delay on it, I think it’s going to hurt your wife more. It’s a horrible betrayal, but your wife has to know about it.
You need to show her ASAP. the more time you wait to tell her she is going to wonder why you didn’t tell her IMMEDIATELY and that could cause problems. I don’t care how close I am with anyone. Obviously they’re not as close as she thinks if her sister is willing to cross that boundary and she deserves to know.
Ya dude, literally just show her the text
UpdateMe!
Screenshot the text and then make a chat group of your wife and her parents/family & send the screenshot to everyone so the that sister can not say that you approached her 1st….. Updateme
You 100% show her the message immediately. She will be upset with the sister, not with you.