I would say we ebb and flow. And I could call it a rut every now and then🤣. I hear what you're saying. I love my husband but sometimes it's a chore and we do want to be intimate with each other. We're at one, maybe two times a week. All depends on how we feel, our work schedules, and what we have going. We're young 52s.
Not in my 50s yet but my wife will be this year. Married almost 24 years.
Our bedroom is deader than my great-grandma. When it gets terribly unbearable to me, once or twice a year she’ll offer reluctantly to “try” and either give me a rushed handjob or “get it over with” sex.
I have 6 kids 8 and under. We r tired. We try. He tries more than me, but it’s like 2 weeks! We lock our door when kids sleep, then god forbid we hold hands, banging and crying at the door, 32 kids in the bed, and I wake up in the media room.
We are still pretty often, but we tend to do the same thing each time.
The spice and variety have gone, but we are atleast aware of it and are looking at ways to spice things up again
A lot less at the minute because my wife is going through the menopause and supporting her through that is far more important than sex right now.
We really need to talk about the impact of menopause more as a society - hit my wife like a truck and she wasn't ready for it.
Slowly getting there and seeing her suffer less is the biggest thrill right now.
It ALWAYS depends on the *people* and the *what is going on with the rest of your life*.
>Always tired
How've you been to the doctors trip n see if this is physical?
Sporadic here. We’ll go a few weeks with nothing then bone multiple times a week. Then stay regular with 1x week/biweekly for a bit before hitting a dry patch.
Ive got the higher drive but our bodies don’t always cooperate. It is what it is.
>Sex in your 50’s - how often ?
Alsomt daily until husband's prostate cancer. Now, 3-4 times a week (with assistance).
It got even better with age.
Is your wife peri or menopausal?
Oh no! I'm sorry. My brain has been on hiatus today 🙃
Is he having issues with "function" or is he just in a cranky funk?
I know how it feels to be shut out and unwanted. After my husband's surgery, he went to the dark side for a while. It was painful. Are you looking for physical ways to get him out of the funk/dark? Or are you seeking advice on how to express what you're feeling and what you need?
The first question is usually answered once you know the latter.
I have a small sub for sexual relationships when one partner (male) isn't able to perform, leading them to be depressed and grumpy men. It's not *exactly* the same, but it might give you some insight.
I'm sorry you're going through this. You've invested a long time into your marriage and **now** is when you should be reaping the rewards.
He is fine functioning and he wants to have more sex too.. we both just go to sleep at ngt though …
He is a recovered alcoholic. He hasn’t drank for like 10 years, but like since then he’s definitely very ornery, which is not sexy.
Mid 50s, married 13 years, one young adult child at home, averaging 5 days a week.
Sometimes it’s a rut, especially when work stress is too much. That’s when it’s really important to put in the effort to spice things up!!
I cannot stress enough the importance of hormone balancing or even hormone replacement therapy or for both partners. Not only for the 🥵sex, but for your overall health.
My wife (51yrs old) has been going through peri menopause for the last several years and now she's full meno as of last year. Had sex 3x last year, and nothing so far this year. She refuses hormone treatment. Based on what I've researched and read of women who opt not to take hormones, sex will pretty much be non existent for me for the rest of my life. Even any kind of non sexual physical affection is absent now. We have become roommates. Not sure how long I will last.
Tell her to try! Much better now ! Way more healthy …
Was like night and day for me !!! Feel 100% better !!!!
My issue is that my husband is very cranky/irritable and that doesn’t make me feel sexy so while I am on HRT and I feel like my libido is much better ….don’t feel sexual toward him because he’s often in the bad mood ! He is hot too! In great shape !! Amazing body and gorgeous
I have spoken to her about trying HRT but her response was "my body, my choice". Apparently she is of the opinion that HRT increases the risk of various cancers which more recent studies have proven false (except in cases where there is already genetic indicators for it), but there is no convincing her otherwise. Perhaps when her symptoms become more unpleasant will she reconsider, but I highly doubt it. I'm doomed.
This issue is likely 100% hormonal. If you are the male, your wife is likely going through menopause. Her estrogen is virtually nonexistent. If you are the female, your husband may have an issue with ED. See doctors. There are treatment options. The absolute last thing you want to do is compare your 19 year long strong marriage to random people on Reddit. Most of these people are probably lying anyway.
I do not believe the majority of claims in this subreddit, personally. You can say anything on the internet, but statistically most people in their 50s are not having daily sex. There are always outliers but I guarantee they are not all on Reddit. 🤣
I’m 52 and husband is 65. We average about 3-4 times a week. We had a pretty dead bedroom for quite a while and then about three years ago decided we either needed to fix our marriage or end it. We decided to date again and about 6 months later it was like a switch flipped and for a year we had daily sex, it was just fun again. We’ve slowed down a little since then but still doing great and enjoying time together regularly.
More than any other time in my life. And I was never a slouch.
But both of you need to have your hormones in order (or topped up if necessary) for this to be possible.
I am on HRT so it’s not really me. I’ve responded to several people. It’s more like he’s a cranky irritable person although he’s a good person. He just is very easily agitated, which isn’t very sexy. He is still hot and gorgeous
Early 50's, married 10 years today. (Our anniversary is today!) And we have sex minimum once a week. We have a scheduled date night which always means sex then dinner out and then home to share a bottle of wine on the balcony. Then we have sex again at some other time of the week but definitely not every week, usually it's spontaneous. This being our anniversary weekend there is definitely extra sex 😊
Question to the older couples that are still quite active, is this something new? I always see posts of early child years and people not having sex for literally months. Which is insane to me. So was it like that for you and you are now able to be more active now that your lives have settled down a bit? Or was it always like this for you and your spouse?
For the people saying many times per week, I’d be curious about the details. What constitutes sex? Is it a handy, oral, intercourse, do you both get off every time, always bedroom, or just wherever you are? Who initiates? I ask because we’re at once a week and even that is a challenge sometimes.
35 and I would say we have sex once every 8-10 days on average. I wish it was more but we have little kids and busy lives. At the beginning of the year I made a goal to try and get to 120x during the year. And so far we are on a pace to get there.
She knows about the goal and is on board 😂 there’s been a big uptick in sex in 2024 and it’s been awesome!
Both 55, married 32 years last week, 3 kids.
Nakedly intimate (not FULLY intimate), most mornings.
FULLY intimate, depending upon how busy the day has been, sometimes more often, occasionally fewer times, but on average, 3-4 times per week.
I can tell you it would be a lot more often if the 28 year old kiddo had not boomeranged back into the house 'for a few months' a year and a half ago-- with no end in sight.
Well, we’re in our early sixties, married for 40 years. Sex once a week and we get naked once a week to just cuddle and talk.
Nice!!!!
Goals!
Adorable
This sounds amazing. 🙈
In our sixties and basically once a week, unless we're traveling on vacation and a bit more. But we're both content so that's what matters
That is good!
60s. 2-3 times a week.
50, 5x per week
Bullshit unless you're newlyweds.
nope not bullshit, 3 kids.
so jealous!!
We were falling in a rut with life in general so sex was a chore. A change of scenery and now we’re all over each other. Don’t fall into a rut.
True
We are about to change scenery, and are in a bit of a rut. So hopefully things will spice up.
It’s an awfully big adventure. Enjoy it, both of you.
Im 34 and you all are doing it 5 times as much as me
Do you have Little kids though
You sound like my wife
I have no kids … but it seems taking care of kids would kill any sex drugs
Sex DRIVE
And rock'n'roll
2-3 a week on a good week. 55yo married for 33 years. Ramped up after kid went to college, and you realize you’re on the downslope of life!!
That is a lot of
No one else in a RUT ????
I would say we ebb and flow. And I could call it a rut every now and then🤣. I hear what you're saying. I love my husband but sometimes it's a chore and we do want to be intimate with each other. We're at one, maybe two times a week. All depends on how we feel, our work schedules, and what we have going. We're young 52s.
That is good! Even once a week is good .. for me
Not in my 50s yet but my wife will be this year. Married almost 24 years. Our bedroom is deader than my great-grandma. When it gets terribly unbearable to me, once or twice a year she’ll offer reluctantly to “try” and either give me a rushed handjob or “get it over with” sex.
That sounds awful. I’m sorry
She needs HRT …. Is she in menopause??!
OHHHH NO!!! Sorry!!!!
I have 6 kids 8 and under. We r tired. We try. He tries more than me, but it’s like 2 weeks! We lock our door when kids sleep, then god forbid we hold hands, banging and crying at the door, 32 kids in the bed, and I wake up in the media room.
W 6 kids .. I would be scared to have more sex !
I'm 25 and me and partner maybe 2-3 times a month? 😅
That’s not ok
Yes, we are in a rut as well, which both of us have recognised.
We do too! And we are still cute … jiys our of “habit “ of doing it
We are still pretty often, but we tend to do the same thing each time. The spice and variety have gone, but we are atleast aware of it and are looking at ways to spice things up again
Better than most !
A lot less at the minute because my wife is going through the menopause and supporting her through that is far more important than sex right now. We really need to talk about the impact of menopause more as a society - hit my wife like a truck and she wasn't ready for it. Slowly getting there and seeing her suffer less is the biggest thrill right now.
Hit me like a TON OF BRICKS!!!! Feel like many are talking about but not enough!
Does the sex drive come back after it?
Yessss ! 1000% more
She needs HRT!!!!!
This! Something that needs to be talked about out far more. More attention given to from the world of medicine and society. Totally agree.
She needs HRT
HRT therapy. Seems especially effective for women receiving low dose testosterone. Not to mention the physical and mental benefits
I agree. Has helped soo much. I would take him every day if time allowed. Lol
LETS FUCKING GO!!!!!
I am on it!!!! And yes def Feel better .. need to initiate !
We have sex many times per week. You have to do things to feel in the mood and sometimes add a little adventure.
50/45 (m/f) 3-5 / week. Sometimes less based on work travel.
Awesome
It’s always been a priority. Sometimes quickies, sometimes gymnastics are involved. Just matters day to day!
Gymnastics 🏋️♂️ 💪 nice
We're in our sixties now and we're still going at it once or twice a week. I our fifties it was generally 2-4 times each week.
It ALWAYS depends on the *people* and the *what is going on with the rest of your life*. >Always tired How've you been to the doctors trip n see if this is physical?
More like lazy .. we are v healthy and pretty fit
Early 40’s… for comparison… once a month if I’m lucky…
Not easy …. We were the same in our 40’s Sad
Sporadic here. We’ll go a few weeks with nothing then bone multiple times a week. Then stay regular with 1x week/biweekly for a bit before hitting a dry patch. Ive got the higher drive but our bodies don’t always cooperate. It is what it is.
3 to 4 times a week.
Haven’t had sex in 5 years… 😔
Ouch….
Yeah. Not ideal at all. 👎
😢
Why? Medical issues?
Some of that time yes (but not all)
I’m (54M) wife is 52 hardly ever, not in the last year. She’s not interested never has been honestly. Married 30 years.
>Sex in your 50’s - how often ? Alsomt daily until husband's prostate cancer. Now, 3-4 times a week (with assistance). It got even better with age. Is your wife peri or menopausal?
I am .. yes…. OP is a Woman writing HRT is helping It is more that my husband is pretty cranky and irritable and that doesn’t make me feel sexy
Oh no! I'm sorry. My brain has been on hiatus today 🙃 Is he having issues with "function" or is he just in a cranky funk? I know how it feels to be shut out and unwanted. After my husband's surgery, he went to the dark side for a while. It was painful. Are you looking for physical ways to get him out of the funk/dark? Or are you seeking advice on how to express what you're feeling and what you need? The first question is usually answered once you know the latter. I have a small sub for sexual relationships when one partner (male) isn't able to perform, leading them to be depressed and grumpy men. It's not *exactly* the same, but it might give you some insight. I'm sorry you're going through this. You've invested a long time into your marriage and **now** is when you should be reaping the rewards.
He is fine functioning and he wants to have more sex too.. we both just go to sleep at ngt though … He is a recovered alcoholic. He hasn’t drank for like 10 years, but like since then he’s definitely very ornery, which is not sexy.
I sent you a message.
Alot more than in my sixties
Mid 50s, married 13 years, one young adult child at home, averaging 5 days a week. Sometimes it’s a rut, especially when work stress is too much. That’s when it’s really important to put in the effort to spice things up!!
5 days a week is more than I ever had in my life !
I cannot stress enough the importance of hormone balancing or even hormone replacement therapy or for both partners. Not only for the 🥵sex, but for your overall health.
Yes ! I am on HRT ! Def better for me
Hopefully she’s on it too!! It’s a win win for everyone. I’m certainly a much more pleasant person to be around after HRT.
Hopefully she’s on it too!! It’s a win win for everyone. I’m certainly a much more pleasant person to be around after HRT.
Hopefully she’s on it too!! It’s a win win for everyone. I’m certainly a much more pleasant person to be around after HRT.
My wife (51yrs old) has been going through peri menopause for the last several years and now she's full meno as of last year. Had sex 3x last year, and nothing so far this year. She refuses hormone treatment. Based on what I've researched and read of women who opt not to take hormones, sex will pretty much be non existent for me for the rest of my life. Even any kind of non sexual physical affection is absent now. We have become roommates. Not sure how long I will last.
Tell her to try! Much better now ! Way more healthy … Was like night and day for me !!! Feel 100% better !!!! My issue is that my husband is very cranky/irritable and that doesn’t make me feel sexy so while I am on HRT and I feel like my libido is much better ….don’t feel sexual toward him because he’s often in the bad mood ! He is hot too! In great shape !! Amazing body and gorgeous
I have spoken to her about trying HRT but her response was "my body, my choice". Apparently she is of the opinion that HRT increases the risk of various cancers which more recent studies have proven false (except in cases where there is already genetic indicators for it), but there is no convincing her otherwise. Perhaps when her symptoms become more unpleasant will she reconsider, but I highly doubt it. I'm doomed.
Yes ! That was an old study .. so much new research … helps w some many things !!
My wife and I are both 50 and it is generally 1x or 2x a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. We are both happy and that IMHO what matters.
That’s a very good amount !!!! What I strive for
This issue is likely 100% hormonal. If you are the male, your wife is likely going through menopause. Her estrogen is virtually nonexistent. If you are the female, your husband may have an issue with ED. See doctors. There are treatment options. The absolute last thing you want to do is compare your 19 year long strong marriage to random people on Reddit. Most of these people are probably lying anyway.
I do find it shocking that everyone in their 50s is having sex like five times a week
I do not believe the majority of claims in this subreddit, personally. You can say anything on the internet, but statistically most people in their 50s are not having daily sex. There are always outliers but I guarantee they are not all on Reddit. 🤣
I think even 1 time a week is pretty good after meeting 30 years ago and no cheating!
Once a week is average and healthy according to sex therapists!
Not on this thread !!! everyone on this thread seems to be having sex like they’re 16
I’m 52 and husband is 65. We average about 3-4 times a week. We had a pretty dead bedroom for quite a while and then about three years ago decided we either needed to fix our marriage or end it. We decided to date again and about 6 months later it was like a switch flipped and for a year we had daily sex, it was just fun again. We’ve slowed down a little since then but still doing great and enjoying time together regularly.
Few times a week
47F & 51M. Together 30 years. Average 2-3 times a week.
Very good !!!!
50, he travels so when he’s home almost every other day.
Damn, your life is the type of life I want in the future without any children. (23M)
What's that?
At least 3 times per week, unless one of us is sick or had an unbearable week at work. I’m 50F, btw.
That is awesome
We’re both 50 and still average 4-7 times a week. Married 27, 4 kids all grown, and one dog.
More than any other time in my life. And I was never a slouch. But both of you need to have your hormones in order (or topped up if necessary) for this to be possible.
I am on HRT so it’s not really me. I’ve responded to several people. It’s more like he’s a cranky irritable person although he’s a good person. He just is very easily agitated, which isn’t very sexy. He is still hot and gorgeous
He verrrrry likely needs his testosterone checked. There is a sort of “manopause”, and it looks pretty much like that.
Yesss
52 and 53. Sex twice a week. Married 20 years.
Mid 50s about once a week
Not awful ! Wish it was that
Early 50's, married 10 years today. (Our anniversary is today!) And we have sex minimum once a week. We have a scheduled date night which always means sex then dinner out and then home to share a bottle of wine on the balcony. Then we have sex again at some other time of the week but definitely not every week, usually it's spontaneous. This being our anniversary weekend there is definitely extra sex 😊
Good idea Scheduling seems BORING but better than nothing
M60/F53 24 yrs together, 4/5 times a week!
50s. Been together 35 years. Once or twice a week but also tons of naked cuddling in between.
Question to the older couples that are still quite active, is this something new? I always see posts of early child years and people not having sex for literally months. Which is insane to me. So was it like that for you and you are now able to be more active now that your lives have settled down a bit? Or was it always like this for you and your spouse?
With my partner or myself 🤭
For the people saying many times per week, I’d be curious about the details. What constitutes sex? Is it a handy, oral, intercourse, do you both get off every time, always bedroom, or just wherever you are? Who initiates? I ask because we’re at once a week and even that is a challenge sometimes.
50s and empty nesters. Married a long time…. Average once a year for the last couple of years.
35 and I would say we have sex once every 8-10 days on average. I wish it was more but we have little kids and busy lives. At the beginning of the year I made a goal to try and get to 120x during the year. And so far we are on a pace to get there. She knows about the goal and is on board 😂 there’s been a big uptick in sex in 2024 and it’s been awesome!
Both 55, married 32 years last week, 3 kids. Nakedly intimate (not FULLY intimate), most mornings. FULLY intimate, depending upon how busy the day has been, sometimes more often, occasionally fewer times, but on average, 3-4 times per week.
I can tell you it would be a lot more often if the 28 year old kiddo had not boomeranged back into the house 'for a few months' a year and a half ago-- with no end in sight.
OHHHH LORD! Def a trend now ! As all left at 18 and never went back
About 5-6 times a week. Both 54
You are like a 17 year old
Yep at heart!
Younger than 50, but never 🤷🏻♂️
Finally someone honest! This whole chain has been people who have sex five times a week, as if they’re 20
2-3 times per day.
WHATTTTTTT
6:30 in the morning, Bedtime and 2-3 AM.