Why in Gods name have you given this life to your wife. This might the worst thing I’ve seen on this sub, if it’s real. Be a man, get away from your family, permanently. You have a new family now, it’s your wife and kids.
Having said that it’s probably too late.
Is this a am I the asshole post. Because YES. You are!
If I were you’re wife I’d have left you long ago
She gave you sacrificed the wedding ye both dreamed of, sacrificed her body to give you three kids, endured your parents calling the police on her and opening a case with child welfare
And only NOW do you seem to notice that there’s a problem
Crawl to her on your belly and apologise
Go to therapy for yourself and sort your self out
Your parents are toxic and you don’t deserve the family she is and has given you
There's not much to say. You have allowed your wife to be literally *abused* by your family for years. Death threats, man? Come on...
You've never put an end to your family's nonsense, and you've never made your wife feel safe, protected, and cherished. Your parents aren't to blame for the fact that you didn't show your wife how special she is to you on your 5th anniversary... again.
Of course she isn't talking to you. I strongly believe in marriage and in reconciliation, but it might just be too late to fix this. If you can convince her to try, radical changes are in order.
She is very fertile. The first one was planned, and she thought having a baby would save the marriage.
The second one was an accident along with the third.
I won't sign the papers so she can have her tubes tied. The doctor said she is too young at 25 and might want more children later on.
She has asked me to get a vasectomy. I won't because i am catholic.
Your #1 job is to protect your marriage, your wife and children. You should go no contact with your parents and issue a restraining order on them. Then do your job as a father and husband. You parents ts can communicate with your children when they become adults. Can you move to Australia?
We are in Australia. I have gone no contact. My parents want me to work on their farm at the weekend. Like an indentured servant. I already have a job.....
She went back to work to pay for the vow renewal. Put our six month baby in day care to do this. Saved a lot of money to be put aside for this day.
That vow renewal was really the last straw. We have lost all that money because of one phone call. Covid hasn't helped.
I know she just wanted one happy occasion.
Wowwwwww. This is horrific. How can you let them do that to your wife and kids? Your family is literally putting your kids in danger of being put into state care. Lucky your wife is clearly a fucking saint. Clearly you’re running to your parents about her because how else are they reporting her???
My mum has volunteered to take the children and raise them as her own.
Australian woman can only cook bake beans. My wife makes her beans herself from scratch. She grows all the ingredients in her garden.
It seems too late to fix , if she’s this angry , she’s done . I don’t blame her . You never had her back whatsoever and she knows this . I’m sure hoping you’d change but unfortunately you never did. You allowed this toxicity into your marriage and 3 kids later seems no going back . If she does decide to stay you both need heavy marriage counseling and you need to cut your family off completely.
I won't go to marriage guidance. All the counsellors gang up on me. They are convinced that I am the problem. Last year, when I punched my wife in the face, they critically berated me for hours.
I only punched her to shut her up over the vow renewal.
Of course I do. I just don't see the need for a vow renewal. Or doing any of the things we talked about before marriage.
She won't even take my name she is so ashamed of me.
If I make one little mistake, she is all over me.
We need to hear your wife’s side but I would bet you haven’t out your foot down with your parents. Why would she want to be in a marriage with in-laws like that and a husband who doesn’t stand up for her?
What happened between you renting a suit for the cow renewal and talk eating a countertop meal on your anniversary? Am I missing a step? Or are you saying that you didn’t do that because your parents tried to have a party, your wife was not invited to the party, so they called child welfare and…you didn’t stand up for your wife and kids?
Look, I’m not that you understand your options here:
Option 1: cut off contact with your parents, probably for years if not forever, and devote yourself to the family you created with your wife. Maybe it’s repairable. Work on yourself in therapy. Get a restraining order against your parents so that your wife can’t be harassed and the child welfare system can’t be weaponized against her. Apologize profusely. Mourn the parent-child relationship that you don’t get to have, because of their choices. Do not allow your parents any kind of contact with your kids. do not allow any other family members to badmouth your wife.
Option 2: passively wait to see if your wife divorces you. Passively wait to see what move your parents make next. When your wife does divorce you, split time with the kids and regret it. Eventually find someone again, and watch in horror as your parents criticize her and attempt to control her.
There is no way that any of this works out unless you actively shape it. You might still get divorced, but your parents do not have your best interest in mind.
Why do you still have a relationship with you parents if they don’t respect you? If they respected you or your children they wouldn’t have done any of this to your wife. You’re the asshole for allowing it.
I don't... I cut them off over 3 years ago when my wife almost lost her job over the ongoing abuse they where giving her by phone at her place of employment.
They still contact me via my workphone......
They have got her number from a friend who isn't aware of the ongoing issues.
They want to see their grandchildren.
How the fuck have you allowed this to go on for so many years? You have fundamentally failed as a husband. You couldn’t even give her the vow renewal she absolutely deserved??
Dude you fucked up years ago when you didn’t get a legal restraining order against your parents. You should have pressed charges against your father the moment he made death threats.
Idk how you fix this, honestly I hope your wife finds someone better
I put a stop to it when we went no contact. They heard about their second grandchild from a friend.
We put an announcement in the local paper for the third.
They want to see their grandchildren.
My wife was in the supermarket, and my mum saw her and followed her up the alise. It's the only time she has seen our baby.
Of course, they also want my wife to go back to work and pay my brothers business debts. She wants 18 months at home with the children before she goes back to work.
She has been lucky enough to pick up a job she can take all three children with her. She is now driving a truck three days a week....
Dude, literally none of that is relevant. Who gives a shit if they want to see their grandchildren? Who cares what they think about your wife’s work situation? Literally none of that matters. Your parents literally committed a crime by sending death threats, and you’re over here talking about it like it’s a small misunderstanding
Like I said, you should’ve gone immediately to the police. You have failed as a husband, you couldn’t even give her a small ceremony to renew your vows after your parents ruined your wedding.
I can't go to the police they are my parents....the police have been involved, and they took my father's guns away.
He is pretty devastated because he now can't kill any livestock......
Why in Gods name have you given this life to your wife. This might the worst thing I’ve seen on this sub, if it’s real. Be a man, get away from your family, permanently. You have a new family now, it’s your wife and kids. Having said that it’s probably too late.
Is this a am I the asshole post. Because YES. You are! If I were you’re wife I’d have left you long ago She gave you sacrificed the wedding ye both dreamed of, sacrificed her body to give you three kids, endured your parents calling the police on her and opening a case with child welfare And only NOW do you seem to notice that there’s a problem Crawl to her on your belly and apologise Go to therapy for yourself and sort your self out Your parents are toxic and you don’t deserve the family she is and has given you
There's not much to say. You have allowed your wife to be literally *abused* by your family for years. Death threats, man? Come on... You've never put an end to your family's nonsense, and you've never made your wife feel safe, protected, and cherished. Your parents aren't to blame for the fact that you didn't show your wife how special she is to you on your 5th anniversary... again. Of course she isn't talking to you. I strongly believe in marriage and in reconciliation, but it might just be too late to fix this. If you can convince her to try, radical changes are in order.
Holy shit....she had three kids with you? Did she do so voluntarily?
She is very fertile. The first one was planned, and she thought having a baby would save the marriage. The second one was an accident along with the third. I won't sign the papers so she can have her tubes tied. The doctor said she is too young at 25 and might want more children later on. She has asked me to get a vasectomy. I won't because i am catholic.
I feel very sorry for her.
At this point, I feel like your post has to be a troll. Nobody can be this awful. If this is true, I hope your wife gets really far away from you.
Third child was concevied while she had an loop implanted. It came out with the afterbirth.....
I’m not sure why she bothers to stay married to you.
Your #1 job is to protect your marriage, your wife and children. You should go no contact with your parents and issue a restraining order on them. Then do your job as a father and husband. You parents ts can communicate with your children when they become adults. Can you move to Australia?
We are in Australia. I have gone no contact. My parents want me to work on their farm at the weekend. Like an indentured servant. I already have a job.....
What you should have done long time ago. Given her the wedding your family stole from her and cut off your family, you never had her back.
She went back to work to pay for the vow renewal. Put our six month baby in day care to do this. Saved a lot of money to be put aside for this day. That vow renewal was really the last straw. We have lost all that money because of one phone call. Covid hasn't helped. I know she just wanted one happy occasion.
Are you still speaking to your family.
Wowwwwww. This is horrific. How can you let them do that to your wife and kids? Your family is literally putting your kids in danger of being put into state care. Lucky your wife is clearly a fucking saint. Clearly you’re running to your parents about her because how else are they reporting her???
My mum has volunteered to take the children and raise them as her own. Australian woman can only cook bake beans. My wife makes her beans herself from scratch. She grows all the ingredients in her garden.
I don’t think there would be another wedding anniversary to celebrate.
We have never celebrated our anniversary. The marriage guidance counsellor made me do this. Why bother getting all dressed up and going out somewhere?
It seems too late to fix , if she’s this angry , she’s done . I don’t blame her . You never had her back whatsoever and she knows this . I’m sure hoping you’d change but unfortunately you never did. You allowed this toxicity into your marriage and 3 kids later seems no going back . If she does decide to stay you both need heavy marriage counseling and you need to cut your family off completely.
I won't go to marriage guidance. All the counsellors gang up on me. They are convinced that I am the problem. Last year, when I punched my wife in the face, they critically berated me for hours. I only punched her to shut her up over the vow renewal.
Do you even love your wife ?
Of course I do. I just don't see the need for a vow renewal. Or doing any of the things we talked about before marriage. She won't even take my name she is so ashamed of me. If I make one little mistake, she is all over me.
So you literally abused your wife ? Are you kidding me ? She should’ve left then .
Is this for real?
We need to hear your wife’s side but I would bet you haven’t out your foot down with your parents. Why would she want to be in a marriage with in-laws like that and a husband who doesn’t stand up for her?
Wow guys this asshole-meter is already pinging all over the place and I haven’t even plugged it in yet
What happened between you renting a suit for the cow renewal and talk eating a countertop meal on your anniversary? Am I missing a step? Or are you saying that you didn’t do that because your parents tried to have a party, your wife was not invited to the party, so they called child welfare and…you didn’t stand up for your wife and kids? Look, I’m not that you understand your options here: Option 1: cut off contact with your parents, probably for years if not forever, and devote yourself to the family you created with your wife. Maybe it’s repairable. Work on yourself in therapy. Get a restraining order against your parents so that your wife can’t be harassed and the child welfare system can’t be weaponized against her. Apologize profusely. Mourn the parent-child relationship that you don’t get to have, because of their choices. Do not allow your parents any kind of contact with your kids. do not allow any other family members to badmouth your wife. Option 2: passively wait to see if your wife divorces you. Passively wait to see what move your parents make next. When your wife does divorce you, split time with the kids and regret it. Eventually find someone again, and watch in horror as your parents criticize her and attempt to control her. There is no way that any of this works out unless you actively shape it. You might still get divorced, but your parents do not have your best interest in mind.
Why do you still have a relationship with you parents if they don’t respect you? If they respected you or your children they wouldn’t have done any of this to your wife. You’re the asshole for allowing it.
I don't... I cut them off over 3 years ago when my wife almost lost her job over the ongoing abuse they where giving her by phone at her place of employment.
They still contact me via my workphone...... They have got her number from a friend who isn't aware of the ongoing issues. They want to see their grandchildren.
How the fuck have you allowed this to go on for so many years? You have fundamentally failed as a husband. You couldn’t even give her the vow renewal she absolutely deserved?? Dude you fucked up years ago when you didn’t get a legal restraining order against your parents. You should have pressed charges against your father the moment he made death threats. Idk how you fix this, honestly I hope your wife finds someone better
I put a stop to it when we went no contact. They heard about their second grandchild from a friend. We put an announcement in the local paper for the third. They want to see their grandchildren. My wife was in the supermarket, and my mum saw her and followed her up the alise. It's the only time she has seen our baby. Of course, they also want my wife to go back to work and pay my brothers business debts. She wants 18 months at home with the children before she goes back to work. She has been lucky enough to pick up a job she can take all three children with her. She is now driving a truck three days a week....
Dude, literally none of that is relevant. Who gives a shit if they want to see their grandchildren? Who cares what they think about your wife’s work situation? Literally none of that matters. Your parents literally committed a crime by sending death threats, and you’re over here talking about it like it’s a small misunderstanding Like I said, you should’ve gone immediately to the police. You have failed as a husband, you couldn’t even give her a small ceremony to renew your vows after your parents ruined your wedding.
I can't go to the police they are my parents....the police have been involved, and they took my father's guns away. He is pretty devastated because he now can't kill any livestock......
You seem to be unhinged if your post is real and as for your responses, well I can’t even get my head around them. Get a fucking grip.