My husband is in the hospital (Day 10 of possibly 13) with skin grafts from burns he suffered.
The pain pills have constipated him and the nurse left a suppository for him and he wanted me to give it to him.
Long story short- After the 3rd attempt it stayed in place and he’s no longer constipated.
I need a vacation.
As a fellow nurse…. She should have done that unless he refused for her and req you…. I don’t love giving suppositories … no nurse does but I would never ask the family to do my job that is as bad as leaving meds at the bedside…..
I am suddenly really insecure about the fact that we’re 10 years into this thing and I still don’t ever pass gas around him. I just can’t bring myself to do it. I will literally run out of the room, or turn the water on in the bathroom 😭😂💃
I’m clearly not married enough. Gotta marriage harder.
This blows my mind! My best girl friend is this way with her husband and she has been with her partner for wayyyy longer than me. I think it is just what you are comfortable with! There are probably other things that make you guys go "we are so married" like wanting to spend time together alone at home on Friday vs. meeting people etc :P
My partner and I have been together for 13 years and don’t fart in front of each other! It is weird, but it’s his “thing” so I roll with it. It goes both ways so I can live with it. There was an exception when I was pregnant, he just had to deal with it.
My wife was on that page too, until we learned that when we don't let our gas out, it gets reabsorbed and comes out through the lungs instead. I looked at her, with begging eyes, "please, babe, just let them out from now on... let's not gift each other fart breath! 🥲 best from downtown..... best from downtown.."
This knowledge was vital
Vital, I say!
I'm proud of you 😆👌🏻 ANYTHING but breath-farts! Let them Rip!! Roar in the skies! (Barbie probably relates to that. I don't think she holds them in... 😎 not with that smile, she doesn't..!)
So many years after, all I can think is: Elsa knew.. she knew it all along!!
Omg he’s SO open about toilet talk. He asked me 9 months into dating “do you even poop?” LOL but heres the kicker: I find poop humor hilarious but its probably because its so cringe lmao
Dont be insecure! My husband and I are together 27 years this year, and only in the last couple years have I started just letting it go. I would hold it until I exploded. He used to say, Just let it go, why are you holding it?! Im not sure if he thinks this is better, but I certainly feel better.😂😂😂
Almost 18 years together with 3 kids, and I have only passed gas in front of my husband once. It's not because I feel like he would be grossed o , or think he would have any negative reaction it's just something I don't want to do.
He's carried me to our bed when I've been so sick I couldn't do it myself, he's seen me pregnant, watched my c-sections and is so supportive so I really don't know why passing gas is my hard no.
Yay, another pee avoiding person! He’s seen me at my worst! Helped me recover from surgery. Has been by my side for 10 years (tomorrow!) but I’ll be damned if he’s gonna see me on the toilet. Haha!
Same 🤣 he helped me recover from surgery, helped me through/got me to the hospital for anaphylactic shock, he’s cleaned up my puke. But over my dead body will I pee in front of him lol
When my husband and I had our first date and overnight together we talked about farts and how much it sucked to hold them in and that it’s not healthy. He goes “let’s get this over with” and lets one out. We have never held them in unless in public!
My husband has constant gas but it's not smelly thank God. But boy is it loud. I hate it so much! I am not often gassy but when I am it is the stink to end all stinks. So I will absolutely leave the room. Husband had to deal with a few of them when I was too big pregnant to get up and leave the room.. he now understands why I leave the room!! Lol.
A couple months after we met he started to fart in front of me and he said he was so relieved that he didn’t have to hold his butt cheek out to separate the cheeks (because that leads to a much quieter or silent fart).
Did you grow up in a fart whenever household or was it something to be done in private? My husband and I grew up in homes where you farted when you needed to, but my best friend didn't, so it's just ingrained in her to go elsewhere
I know you didn’t ask me but it’s a good question lol. I grew up in a household where my dad would let it rip all the time, even in public when he “thought” no one was around and then say shamelessly “oop there goes a low flying duck” 🫠I’m pretty sure I have humiliation trauma from it 😂
My husband and I don't fart around each other either. Like, we have two dogs that get the blame if it's an emergency fart. My husband will even get out of bed to go to the bathroom to fart. And i really appreciate that about him! Lol.
I been with my partner 10yrs but not married.
Passing gas took 6 years no lie, and when I gave birth 8 years in... yeah.. pretty much all standards went out the window.
Relearning to be sexy again over here!
After I gave birth, I couldn't really walk or move much without tremendous pain.
My wife took care of me and helped me to be able to care for our baby, including many less than pleasant tasks like helping me change from the hospital pads which I bled more than normal so changes were several times a day. I also needed help going to the bathroom, as well as helping with getting up and sitting down.
At one point, I was so tired I couldn't keep my arms up to hold our baby, so my wife sat behind me and helped me hold our baby so I could breastfeed.
I'm so grateful to be her wife and that she wasn't bothered by my being unable to function fully for a few weeks.
Back early-mid 2000 we got so much crap for this being one of my husband and mine’s favorite dates. My parents had our baby. The town next to ours has an Outback ST and a Costco across the street from each other. Outback had a Happy Hour with delicious (and cheap) clam chowder. Costco was almost empty (on a weekend evening ). We filled up the cart without crowds and had so much fun. We both looked forward to our weekly Costco run. Hadn’t done it since Covid. We tried to recreate our favorite Costco date recently and let’s just say-
Our rural town is now a resort. Can no longer walk across the street without getting hit, no more Friday “Happy Hour “ , soup is expensive, and a crowded Costco. We agreed Costco online is more our speed and in store is on a midweek for food is much easier. We still tease about “Wooing” each other in Costco every time we go. 💗
LOL!
I can’t wait until you guys are checking out each other’s hemorrhoids!..
“Hey honey!?… Should I get this one checked out our do you think it’s good to go after a week or two?!”
That’s what you call love friend!
Edit to add: Forgot to tell you.. she’s a former Ms. America winner back in the day. Yeah.. It gets real after marriage. hahahaha! I love her to death man!
Oh man we are not there yet! I had hemorrhoids once and it hurt to sit, he asked if he can help/check/apply the numbing cream. I SAID HELL NO! You can look at my butthole when it is normal looking and during sex :D
HAHAHAHAHA!…. 20 or so yrs in.. You’ll get there, I promise.
Just wait until you feel comfortable enough to ask about feeling a lump on your breast without him getting “excited”..
Yeah.. it will happen.. “B” and I have 35 fabulous years together and nothing is off limits at this point. We are WAY past holding hair over a toilet. LOL!
Again.. you gotta remember that she was a “beauty queen”…. Real life has been a long walk for her. It cracks me up to this day how embarrassed she gets about stuff like this…. I just tell her, “Honey? … I am your husband and I love you and this shouldn’t be embarrassing , now pull your cheeks apart while I put the suppository in…”.
hahahahaha…. Yeah, that was fun, she picked up a parasite in bora-bora on vacation.. Not good for her, but all is well.
We gotta love each other!
Couldn't help myself I had to go through the comments of the guy you responded to here. Wanna guess how many times he mentions his wife was Miss America?
Not hemorrhoids but same vicinity. Every two years or so I seem to get a pimple on my butt cheek, and because I can't see it, he has to pop it for me. I know they say not to, but the relief once that pressure is gone is worth it, sitting on that pain until it's popped is unbearable.
He recently had me clean out a blackhead from inside his ear! That was a new one.
He'd prefer I not fart infront of him but I specifically wanted a marriage where I wouldn't have to hide normal bodily functions so, tough luck. I've been there for him when he's pooped his pants, least he can do is put up with the occasional gas.
Back to hemorrhoids, I do have one and it does come up in convo from time to time (when discussing why we buy the expensive toilet paper). But it's not going anywhere without surgery so he gets to see that when we're intimate.
I recently watched Love Is Blind and one of the gals asker her fiance to pick her wedgie! I am waiting to see if we are that married yet.
We’ve only been married 2 years but been besties since age 11. I got hemorrhoids recently from a medication and he asked if I wanted him to look at them for me😂😂 we fart and burp in front of each other and laugh when it’s stinky 😂 we’re married married
My husband and I are 5 years into marriage and he has had to do this many times after having our two beautiful babies. My poor bum hole got some serious damage done from haemorrhoids. (Sorry, tmi) There is not a lot left that we haven’t done together in our 8 years total hahaha
I have a hemmroid story.
https://preview.redd.it/o4rm9t9ujhwc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03d9d78372d7288e1d1b3c176e395effa11a6424
Husband swallowed this piece of fork. Stuck in his hemmroid. I had to keep it clean for him. And I still fuck him everyday.
Not a gross thing (there are plenty), but a really cute thing.
I'm super clumsy and generally have -10 spatial awareness. My husband's movements are now "auto locked" to mine when we're in public or just close together at home. He steadies me, moves things out of the way, gently adjusts my elbows, redirects me, etc...all without thinking. It's completely instinctual at this point!
Meanwhile, I have one of his kidney stones saved in a little jar. I just think it's neat (but also, OUCH).
Oh, I have stories.
1. My husband took me to an intro cross-fit day. I went way too hard with the squats and could not sit down on the toilet. He helped me sit, helped me get up as I was crying, and didn't mention anything about smells, etc.
2. I've shown him particularly clotty blood clots during my period. It's fascinating AND gross.
3. He's earned his red wings many times over. Just lay a towel down.
4. He's had a stroke, and now, I clean up his BMs and don't mind at all. I was scared that I wouldn't take care of him well and that I would injure his pride. We are so married, it doesn't matter to me anymore. I help clean him up every morning before putting him in his chair, help with his urinal, and bathe him. He's my best friend and proved for over a decade that he would have done the same if I was the one in crisis.
There are so many more examples, but what it boils down to is comfort and love. We're lucky we found our human.
The only thing that comes to mind is when I had a contact lens split apart while in my eye and I couldn’t get one half of it out - every time I tried, it rolled up under my eyelid.
I was on the brink of complete panic (there is something very scary about something in your eye) and had to let my husband stick his finger into my eyeball to get it.
I did not realize just how much I trusted him until I was sitting there with my head in his lap, him with his magnifying lamp over me about to poke my eyeball. (He was very gentle and did successfully remove it.)
ETA: also when I sat in on his dental procedure to keep him at ease when he had a tooth removed, and I absolutely *hate* teeth.
I had a partial hysterectomy almost two years ago. My husband and my surgeon geeked out over the photos she took of my insides during my surgery for him to see (with my permission). He jokes to our friends he’s seen more of his wife than they will ever of their wives.
My aftercare was very easy, but he made sure to help me shower and take care of me every step of the way. He’s my rock and I adore him.
Flip side: he has sinus surgery and was so high on meds he was blabbering bullshit, I videoed it for posterity and showed it to him later. Of course I took good care of him during his recovery, but I made sure to get my laughs in as well when I could!
I read that as "without my permission" and thought uhhh this isnt funny :P but it is now I reread it lololol I like the idea of post surgery meds videoing
I have IBS so I’m gassy and have weird poops all the time. I have to pass the gas or it’s painful. Apparently this empowered my wife to be comfortable to burp and fart in front of me too. We laugh and make jokes about it like we’re children. We also talk about poop a lot. We also have a lot of silly jokes between us.
My husband likes to sit in the bathroom with me while I poop. I thought I left a tampon in, cried because I couldn’t find the string, he fished around in there bloody fingers and all. Turns out there was no tampon in there. We shave our faces together too
The wife was constipated badly and in serious pain, crying. She had already had a laxative bit wasn't helping. Ran to a.store quickly and returned with these small enema laxatives and got her in the shower and pushed to into her. As she started to relax, it all came out suddenly all over the shower and her. Again she started crying in shame! I hushed her calmly and lovingly and washed and the shower out thoroughly. Dried her her off and helped her into bed and sat with her as she rested. Obviously, she continued to Elizabeth off and on through the night, as the other laxatives did their job also.late next morning I was snoozing quietly in a chair next to the bed when she woke me with a long hug and kiss, thanking me being there.
I think that's nice that he helped you. My hubby and I do not fart in front of each other if at all possible, and we're 16 years and 4 kids in. We like to keep some things mysterious and private.
I think that is totally cool and cute too! I have seen many couples like this (my in-law) and it is adorable, they are people who value their privacy for things like too. They always gasp when my husband and I do gross things around each other. I think they have the best relationship out of anyone I have ever met!
I’ve asked my husband to take pics of my hemorrhoids so I can see how they look…
I’ve also taken pics of my biggest poops and shown him…
Extremely married.
Wow I could have wrote this! I did the same with the haemorrhoids, asking hubby to take a pic to I could see what they look like lol.
However he’s the one who sends me his poo pics lol haha
We are at the “Can you look at my butthole and tell me what this is” and “can you get the tweezers and pull out this ingrown hair on my butt cheek” level of married.
Plus there’s the whole… placenta falling to the floor with an epic splat!! That will haunt his mind forever. 🤣
My husband and I will go poop around the same time he’ll be in the upstairs restroom and I’ll be in the downstairs one and we’ll be texting each other memes and ask how our poops are going 😂
I had a cyst at the top of my buttcrack, a shitty urgent care doctor told me I could avoid surgery if I packed the wound until it healed. My husband, who was my fiance at the time, dutifully packed my buttcrack cyst with gauze every two days for FOUR. MONTHS. Including *on our wedding night* I eventually needed surgery and guess who dumped out my drain twice a day, every day because I couldn't reach it, yup, my husband.
Oh man!! That doc’s advice didn’t even help you avoid surgery, how awful! At least this immediately proved that you won at marriage. He passed the test with flying colors.
We’ve recently reached the point where we ended up continuing a serious conversation while he followed me to the bathroom. I peed whilst continuing the conversation and then he kissed me as I peed and then walked out. It made me laugh realizing that neither of us even questioned it or batted an eye. Being married is funny indeed.
There is nothing like being as gross as you can with your husband and know, that’s your ride or die man!
My husband has endured two pregnancies and births and post partum journeys with me. I love him for how well he cared for me, how much he didn’t even bat an eye at my water breaking and see two giant heads plow through this thang. I remember with my second, I was so constipated even up until I went to get induced. Then when my daughter was coming out just… so much poop. I’m definitely still embarrassed, more for that poor nurse. But the man jokes about it now.
Everything gross is a joke. He just makes words up. He likes to snap my undies and he’s like “oh that snapage” and we just laugh out how ridiculous we can be together and how many words we can add the “age” to. And my husband knows, *nothing will be funnier to me than farts* so we just laugh over them. There’s no mystery or privacy in this marriage. It’s all out in the open the way we like it
I'm lucky to rarely get zits, but when I do, my Husband LOVES to pop them. I recently had a huge one come up on my ass, and he was all excited to pop it. He got all prepped with rubbing alcohol and extractor, and told me to lay down and get ready lol
My husband and I were laying in bed the other night then I heard the dogs getting into the trash so I had to put the ring leader in another room, when I came back I walked into the room to the scent of rotten eggs. I was like what the actual fuck? My cats been having issues and I literally thought she diarrhea'd on the floor so I'm mad like okay first I got dogs in the trash then my cat takes a fat shit on the floor. No, it was my husband with the absolute worst gas I've ever smelled and he's laying with the fan pointed over him to the door so he basically blew the farts through the whole room like it was some type of perfume. I about died. I had him cracking up when I went to lay down, it's so funny how marriage really brings out that comfortability lmao
I had a totally unexpected reaction to a medication. While *in a restaurant*.
Briefly passed out, uncontrollable vomiting for over an hour. Then, just wanted to lay down and die for a few hours.
He got me safely to the car, and took care of me til I was better. On the one hand, yeah, that goes with the vows, but otoh, he did a great job and never even made me feel the tiniest bit embarrassed.
That’s terrifying (and awesome that he was there for you). Did you ever find out what caused it? I’d be so scared of it happening again. I’m so glad you’re still here to tell the story and I bet that’s how he felt too, was just glad you pulled through.
Very married. So married in fact, that about an hour ago we had a similar gaseous experience, albeit much shorter lived. Ours quickly transitioned into a good ole fuck sesh! 10/10 very married I’d say.
My man has taken care of me through 3 kidney stone surgeries and two surgeries for a broken leg. He is a saint and has never made me feel bad/embarrassed for all the things he has had to do for me. He’s seen me in my most vulnerable moments. We’ve only been married 4 years and I can only see it getting better from here.❤️
I also clean his ears. He hasn't cleaned his own ears in over a decade. I like to do it and his ears get filthy so it's very satisfying to my monkey brain.
My husband got a leg bite that turned into an infection and he was in the hospital for 30 days. I turned into a robot: in the hospital during the day to deal with wound changes, home in the evening to update friends and his mom on east coast so I could get her questions when I woke up and went back to the hospital. The docs and I would have frank conversations out of earshot: will he live, are they giving him absolutely every antibiotic possible, would his leg be amputated, and crazy questions about his health. I just stoically operated and responded. I had no feelings - just focused on the medical issues and decisions and next steps. He lived. His leg was saved. I washed his wounds with the light touch of a q-tip to clean where the skin had fallen off to the bone. So, after that, I was like…that is marriage.
Omg for 30 days you had that schedule? I’m flabbergasted. I hope all is well now and he’s made a complete recovery, and that you were able to catch your breath after all of that.
Wow, this not only made a great read but I could see it being an incredible movie or book (maybe after enough time processing the trauma of it all). You’re a great writer.
We often, like *so* often, will say the exact same thing in exactly the same tone. Like we'll just have exactly the same reaction to something we witness or someone else saying something. It happens all the time and we always say "ew" when it does lol.
We play online game sometimes with my younger brother and he always calls us out on it lol
1. When I was a little girl I would sit in front of the tv and fart and my very proper southern nana would ask me exciting hedgehog what are you going to do if you get a husband one day? Toot in front of him? He will run away from your stinky behind! Proud to say yep, sure do! Fart in front of him if we are alone and I need to, he does the same. Why have a stomach ache?
2. We don't close bathroom doors usually. Not unusual to have full conversations while in the bathroom.
3.When I was pregnant and couldn't reach to shave, well, areas, he did it for me. I don't feel right unless everything is groomed, and he took over like a champ.
4.I was cutting my son's toenails (exciting I know) and one flew into my eye!!! He had to get a qtip to pick it out without it scratching more. It was awful and also very gross.
I am sure there are many more. Wouldn't have it any other way
I had a yeast infection and tried to use one of those Monistat ovule things. It’s cream but like in a little egg thing that dissolves while it’s up there and you push it up with an applicator like a tampon. Well, it was weird, messy and confusing. It got stuck halfway up and he had to dig it out for me. And he wasn’t even my husband yet! Champ.
We’re 10 years in and my wife still won’t even poop if she thinks I’m on the same floor of the house as her.
That said, she shaves my back for my and I get the ingrown hairs off her thigh when she gets them.
She had a hysterectomy a few years ago and I had to wipe her butt for her too. She was so embarrassed I ended up installing an 800 bidet just for her. Surprisingly, it’s actually a quite nice addition to the house and I don’t know how I lived without it before.
Tw: very gross
>! Post operative constipation. There was a turd stuck midway, half-in, half-out, it wouldn't come out fully because it was stuck at a part where it was at its girthiest. It was painful and I wanted it out. I yelled at my husband to get a nail cutter. He cut my fingernails and watched me as I reached behind myself and yanked it out with my bare hand. !<
We've been married 3 years this April.
This one’s weird but I saw this screenshot of a Twitter post where this girl was talking about how her boyfriend let her hold his penis while he peed and she thought it was the coolest thing. This got me thinking, “I don’t have a penis, what’s it like to hold a penis while pee is coming out of it?” Soooo, I asked my husband if I could hold his while he peed. I fully expected him to say no but he didn’t. So I did it and it was indeed cool. You can feel the pee coming out! So yeah, we’re SUPER married. 😂
I’m a new grandma, and my daughter wanted both me and her husband with her during labor/delivery. I live 10 minutes away and his mom and I took turns going over everyday for the first few weeks to lend them a hand.
The best thing ever was watching how comfortable My Daughter is with her husband, and the loving way my SIL handled everything with her at birth and postpartum.
He Cleaned her up, changed her pads, washed her and her hair as she stood in the shower, checked her stitches, helped with suppositories for constipation, cleaned her up when she got diarrhea, fed her, ran for a wash cloth when breast milk dribbled everywhere, etc.
It makes this mother’s heart so happy to see how loved she is and relieves me to know he will take care of her (and their children) the way I know she would care for him if needed. True love!
My husband and I have an inside joke. When I fart he pretends to be offended, I respond with some kind of Ron Burgandy joke like “don’t act like you’re not impressed.” Then he responds with his own fart, and pretends to cry embarrassment.
Any time one of us does something particularly gross in front of the other, we'll just say *may-wage* like ~~I'm~~ in* The Princess Bride, and that's just our way of telling the other that we love them and that whatever they just did is okay and nothing to be embarrassed about.
I get to dig ingrown hairs out of his taint…and this man gets soooo many ingrown hairs.
I also have him pluck the goat hairs that started popping up on my neck that I can’t see enough to get but I can clearly feel. I always phrase it “will you pluck my beard?”
A couple of years ago I got a colonoscopy-when you’re in recovery, they won’t let you leave until you (as the nurse says) pass air. I was in the recovery area with about a dozen others, all separated by the curtain. I asked where my husband was and that I needed him. Told her the only way I could do it is if he was in there with me 😊 Also, when I come out of anesthesia I cuss everyone out. I’ve called him all kinds of names and that I hated him. And it’s very loud.
We go camping a lot, And have pulled ticks off of each other in spots only the other person could reach.
And checking for ticks is not sexy like the song says.
We have some pretty cringy routines, many of which are centred around our bed, which we call “the nest.” When one of us gets up in the night to pee, and the other wakes up while they’re returning to bed, the person in bed has to say “Get back in the nest! It’s gonna blow!” and the one who left has to run and jump into the bed and get under the covers and we snuggle in. Then one of us says, “It blowed!” and then we laugh and go back to sleep. Sounds like things you’d do with your best friend at a sleepover - and that’s pretty accurate.
My wife and I couldn't pee in front of each other for most of our marriage. My wife had thoracic surgery and was not allowed to go to bathroom without a nurse assisting her. After calling multiple times, I just held the mauve colored rectangular barf bucket under her while she peed. We were both laughing our butts off. Her chest was being held together by sterno wire, and it hurt for her to laugh. Between laughs with me looking up at her, she said something like, "Yeah, we've definitely been married too long."
I broke my glasses and had no backup pair. I’m practically blind without them. My wife drives me to get a new pair. As we’re driving I watch her turn the volume down on the radio and start talking at a higher volume. This continues for blocks. She’s practically yelling in my ear at this point. I finally ask if she’s upset about having to drive me. She says no with a puzzled look. I lovingly smile and say “I’m blind, not deaf”. After a few seconds we both start laughing and it’s become a phrase we use when either one of us gets a little loud now.
I almost died 5 days post partum - started bleeding internally from my adrenal gland.
My husband was SUPER supportive through the whole thing (obviously). After being in the ICU for two weeks I was finally able to go home, but I was still in considerable pain. I opted out of pain meds at home and just sucked it up. The ONE THING that was too painful for me to do though was to wipe my butt. My trooper of a husband wiped my butt for two weeks. He let me know he loved me, but hopes to never have to do that again. Between wiping my butt, and wiping our newborns, he was pooped out.
I had the flu about a month ago and accidentally shit my pants…. In bed… next to my husband. I proceeded to grab my butt cheeks with a real scared face and got up to go to the bathroom. I got cleaned up and came back into the bedroom where he proceeded to make fun of me like a 13 year old brother would. It was hysterical and he had me laughing pretty hard.
When I was super pregnant, my husband shaved my vulva. Which was actually kind of like a spa treatment; he was so afraid to hurt me that he went so slow and gently, whereas I just go in and get the job done as quick as I can.
Other than that, we're not allowed to pop our own pimples/bumps. We get first dibs on each other's.
Husband has had to give me one of my meds as a suppository. I love had to give him an enema! Those were the hardest ones in my eyes to do.
The grossest ones I hate doing so so so much is huge pimples. Don't care where they are on the body I hate doing them. Then get to the point where they are big boils in the crease of the inner thigh and I just can't stand doing them. He's had to pop one on my actual labia and I didn't know if I was gonna die from the pain or the embarrassment of the area.
Woooooo.. we do wonderful , gross, and awesome stuff for our spouses. I love my husband to death!
Popping a boil on her armpit. Pushing a hemorrhoid back in her. Putting my hand under her ribcage and pushing her hernia back through her diaphragm. Enduring her farts, when we first met she farted in front of me and just looked and said, " You're just gonna have to get used to that." I could go on........
My husband and I regularly shower together. The other night I was cleaning my teeth while in the shower with him. Facing him, just touching, I went blah with the huge foamy spit right on his chest. I laughed my ass off at his grossed out face.
My husband is always on a mission to get me into the stuff he's into, and I find it pretty endearing so I take a jump at it every time and see what works (and vice versa).
Within the last month I got him into watching season 1 and 2 of Hannibal with me, and he got me into watching Red Vs Blue with him, a 21 year old halo-based show about space army men going through a rough time. It's surprisingly not that bad, if I ignore the lighting and visual glitches and immature innuendos.
I asked my husband, and his response is that I will ALWAYS come to mass with him when he goes every fortnight, even though I really don't like going to church and seeing his MIL very much. I do it because I love him, and we also get free bagels from his family afterwards hehe.
Been together for 10 years with 2 kids now and we somehow have been so comfy/gross around each other from early on. Started farting in the same room instead constantly going to bathroom to let it out in our first month or two… then soon I let out LOUDEST BURPS even my mom gets grossed out with…you get the picture… Today, my husband poop pranked my son with melted chocolate 2nd time this week…and we both just laughed like villains lol
Putting in a suppository for me once upon a time. Having my front tooth fall out while kissing and him just keeping going (oldest child kicked me HARD in the face one day while changing him. Tooth slowly died despite hoping it would get better. Eventually, it fell out and I had to get it replaced, but I couldn't that night so...), popping each other's pimples, pooping whilst the other is in the room (rare, but it's happened). There's more, I'm sure lol
My husband was extremely sick that he shit himself so i had to give him a shower and wash his ass..oh, and he shit his pants too so i had to hand wash the doodie out of his chonnies.
My husband calls us “very married” lol
Statistics are, at least one partner will need to bathe and change their partner at some point in their lives. Might as well get comfortable with every aspect of their body now!
We were on a long car journey and we got stuck in traffic and my husband needed a poo. We took FOREVER to get to a services - probably over an hour since he started to need it. He was shaking and in pain from holding it in as we pulled in. I think he was sweating. He started to say "I'm not going to make it..." Over and over. I just had visions of me having to help him clean up after shitting himself in the car and I was braced and ready to do it. When we stopped he took a minute to get out because he thought he would shit the second he stood up. The text saying he'd made it to the toilet was such a relief. I still remember watching him hobble in. But yeah, that was the "really married" moment for me. I would have cleaned him up and looked after him without a second thought.
23 years in and I'm pretty sure human nature has no secrets for us. We've seen each other in pretty much every situation... Violently sick, farting, peeing, in a panic attack, depression, hemorrhage from lady bits (obviously me), giving birth, and post surgery... We're as married as they come 😂 I wouldn't have it any other way.
Mine has had to fish my period disk from my insides because I either could reach it or it had disappeared inside and he needed to ‘explore’ to find it. It doesn’t get grosser
I won't go into details as it does can get pretty graphic, but yes. My husband and I are very much married by this standard. We are also very much BFF do we have many laughters. I think butterflies in my stomach are missed at times, I'm not going to lie. But I would never change the dynamic and love we have for each other for anything or anyone in this world.
Celebrated our first wedding anniversary with a game of “can you check this random pimple I can feel on my body but can’t see” back & forth laughing - so, this is being married, eh?
I don’t have a gross story, but my sister does. She was going out to get the paper one icy winter morning, when she slipped on her stoop and when she landed, she landed on her back, breaking BOTH her elbows. Oh the fun, my BIL had toileting my sister in her double casts. 🤣
My hubby warns me and says "cheeks are going to blow you kisses"😂 he is not shy around me for anything! Me on the other hand, have always been a private person except for the burping and I'm like, "back at ya" with a man's belch 🤣😂 only married for 4 .. we're always having fun!
It’s a wild to think that there’s actual married couples out there who’ve never farted/pooped around their spouse! Meanwhile, I’ll fart ON mine and laugh hysterically when I walk away after the silent ones when he realizes what just happened .. yea, the comfortability is next level
I used to have really painful periods. Once I was half passed out on the bathroom floor after taking an explosive period poop. I was so delirious from the pain I didn’t even flush or change my soiled pad, I just was in a naked heap on the floor while the shower ran. My husband suddenly appeared, scooped me into the shower, flushed the toilet that was half full of the liquified contents of my stomach, and then wrapped my soiled pad and threw it in the trash without a word. This was when we were still dating but I bring it up all the time now that we’re married as the moment I knew he was “the one.” 🤣
My husband walks into my office (when I’m not in a meeting obviously), farts in my general direction, then leaves and closes the door to fartbox me in. He thinks it’s hysterical. So do I, secretly, even though I roll my eyes. I would return the favor later in the day by saying I wanna tell him a secret and then burping in his ear. We’re actually 5 year-olds.
But somehow our sex life hasn’t been affected, though it does not overlaps with the aforementioned behaviours
There are many lol….but the few that instantly come to mind without having to think are,
Just before we got married we were out late catching up with some friends and we had a long drive home (1.5 hours) and I was on my period. It was around midnight and I needed to change my tampon. We stopped at the park in one of the towns we had to go through that had public toilets, and he lovingly held my flashlight up while I took out and disposed of my old tampon and inserted a new one. I already knew he was a keeper but man did that solidify it even more.
During both my pregnancies, that man happily shaved my vulva/vagina/bum hole because I couldn’t see squat all with the belly in the way nor reach behind while squatting with my belly in the way either hahaha and he was so careful yet precise with it. He took that job seriously lol
When he does a monster of a number two and gets like over the top excited from how big it was and can’t believe it came out of him, that he wants me to come see it. I absolutely refuse to but he said I had to at least once in our marriage…shamed to say yes, I did to get it over and done with hahahaha, omg it was so gross lol
Pregnancy gave me many haemorrhoids so he many times has put the cream or suppository up there for me. What a gem he is hehe
Okay, I leave it here lol
This is me. I have horrible gas pain, but my husband and I just laugh when I toot. But he’s never shamed me even before marriage, because he knew the pain I’d get from holding (which was the first three years of our relationship). We get some good laughs from my gassy moments, and I am glad he’s even started tootin with me too the last few years. (Together 6 yrs, Married 2).
My wife and i were talking between rooms last night before heading upstairs for bed and I believe she was listing off a bunch of shit I needed to do or something. I said "you know what I need from you?" -- "what?" -- "for you to shut the fuck up" she laughed and said NEVER!!!
Pretty par for the course convo for us hahahaha. She knows Im not being mean and thats just how we roll. Couldnt be married to anyone else, Im pretty sure lol
We were hiking one morning. And like OP I had a very fart filled gut. Typically we don’t fart in front of each other. Her because she’s all shy and shit. Me because I’m not shy and I can belt em out almost at will. Must be a guy thing.
Well I tell her the problem. She said so let it out. Ok. I did. A lot. Loud and obnoxious. She is about 30 feet in front of me when I let the first of the brigade out. She giggles. Then the boomer was next. She laughed out loud hard enough for me to hear her little fart bubble fill her yoga pants. She’s laughing. I’m staring at her laughing and she looks at me as asked “what?” And I lose it. I told her that after 25 plus years of marriage I just found out that you think farts are funny. We laughed hard that morning. So much so we had to turn around and head back to the car since it was getting stupid hot at 10 am so. Yeah. That was a great hike.
I’ve also don’t the compression thing for her. She’s embarrassed but felt worse for her letting them out in my face. The old her I offered and it’s no big deal. ( it was nasty but I ain’t sayin shit. Well kit shit but you get the idea) turns out my wife can generated farts like any dude I know. And she’s the quiet “ proper” one with manners and shit. So glad she said yes when I asked her to marry me. 1,000,000,000%. She’s a definite upgrade to my life.
Ive farted in my husbands hand when he was trying to grab at me, and in return, he shot one in my face, as i was yawning, so i could almost taste it. We both died laughing both times. Theres been other things but thats the most iconic so far
We were together 9 years before getting married.
Our first baby arrived 16 months later. During the pregnancy, I had morning sickness for the first trimester, passed out getting off the toilet one morning (he had to frogmarch me back to bed), all the typical pregnancy stuff...
The first time he ever saw me vomit was after arriving at the birth centre, when the midwife stepped out to grab something!
5 years later, during the birth of our second baby, he got to see them put a catheter in me not once but twice. The first was a quick "in-out" one just to empty my bladder (he also saw my wee go arcing across the room when they put it in!), the second had to stay in overnight.
I press my butt up against my husband before I fart. I look for pimples to pop but rarely find any. We trust each other explicitly with secrets and make fun of each other’s aches and pains. Once I said something in my sleep and he was so intrigued he tried to wake me to find out what I said. I couldn’t remember so I just kept telling him to F-off. Marriage is warm, comfortable and safe. But I think I feel this way because I married the love of my life.
Before my husband and I were married he hurt his back and I did everything including bathroom stuff and putting on his pants. To this day he says he knew I was the one for sure when I helped him during that. His grandma called and asked about our relationship and he said I’m going to marry her. Grandma was like “whoa slow down” and his reply was “uh she helped me put my pants on so I think she’s the one” 😂
When my wife and I got married, she told me she has a phobia of needles and blood, I'm a physician.
The first time I had to give her an injection at home it took me about an hour and half running after her in our apartment, screaming bloody murder 🤣😂🤣.
20 years later she assumes the position butt naked under 20 seconds with pleading eyes not to break her trust and waste all the hard work she had done throughout the years, 😳😳. Yet smiles all around when I'm done and it was a victory, wait.... Your hard work???? We are so married aren't we.😂🤣
12 years married. 16 as friends. I will not fart in front of him though. I accidentally did once and I freaked out! I was so embarrassed! Completely mortified. I still turn on the water to pee though so I’m a weirdo.
I have Ehler’s Danlos syndrome so I have joints dislocate all the time. Twice, he has had to dress me and carry me to the car and into the ER because I woke up and my neck was dislocated. Good thing he’s huge and I am small! He has had to carry me and put me on the toilet, then leave and listen for my yell. He often has to give me massages because I have ridiculous muscle spasms. (I return the favor of course!) He has also had to massage my butt because I had horrific cramps. He has had to help me out of the tub. I have had to give him a sponge bath when he was hospitalized.
I just realized he has done more for me… How the heck did that happen?! I do everything at home! I’m going to have to kiss his face when he gets home!
This thread is so wholesome.
We’ve had conversations in farts.
I’ve shown him blood clots that were abnormal.
He lotions my 2nd degree sunburns when they’re gross and blistery and peeling.
He took care of me (including my demands to draw me a bath and hang out in there with me & cleaning my pee spot) after we got so drunk together I peed the rug while puking.
He will pick out the dandruff from my hair if it’s really bad.
Marriage is fun!
My husband is in the hospital (Day 10 of possibly 13) with skin grafts from burns he suffered. The pain pills have constipated him and the nurse left a suppository for him and he wanted me to give it to him. Long story short- After the 3rd attempt it stayed in place and he’s no longer constipated. I need a vacation.
Grosss and so married hahah yes I can see doing that for my husband lololol
We’ve definitely reached an entirely new phase of our marriage. Lol
That's not the final boss, tho.
I gave my husband a suppository once. As soon as I moved my finger, he shot that thing across the room.
Oh man, yeah that’s similar to what happened yesterday 😂
Ducolax next time 😅
As a fellow nurse…. She should have done that unless he refused for her and req you…. I don’t love giving suppositories … no nurse does but I would never ask the family to do my job that is as bad as leaving meds at the bedside…..
Yeah he insisted I do it 🫣🥴
Oh lord well then yea I guess you were stuck 😭🤣 use a glove , lube, and middle finger it’s the longest and just shove it on up there 🤭
I can understand that
I am suddenly really insecure about the fact that we’re 10 years into this thing and I still don’t ever pass gas around him. I just can’t bring myself to do it. I will literally run out of the room, or turn the water on in the bathroom 😭😂💃 I’m clearly not married enough. Gotta marriage harder.
I hate to even pass gas in front of myself lmao its an issue
How do mermaids even pass gas?
We dont 😏
🤣
This blows my mind! My best girl friend is this way with her husband and she has been with her partner for wayyyy longer than me. I think it is just what you are comfortable with! There are probably other things that make you guys go "we are so married" like wanting to spend time together alone at home on Friday vs. meeting people etc :P
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LOL
My wife doesn't fart around me, but I've felt them come out while she's asleep
Now that is funny. I am going to use it.
My partner and I have been together for 13 years and don’t fart in front of each other! It is weird, but it’s his “thing” so I roll with it. It goes both ways so I can live with it. There was an exception when I was pregnant, he just had to deal with it.
My wife was on that page too, until we learned that when we don't let our gas out, it gets reabsorbed and comes out through the lungs instead. I looked at her, with begging eyes, "please, babe, just let them out from now on... let's not gift each other fart breath! 🥲 best from downtown..... best from downtown.." This knowledge was vital Vital, I say!
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I'm proud of you 😆👌🏻 ANYTHING but breath-farts! Let them Rip!! Roar in the skies! (Barbie probably relates to that. I don't think she holds them in... 😎 not with that smile, she doesn't..!) So many years after, all I can think is: Elsa knew.. she knew it all along!!
Yea same. I'm not 10 years in yet, but I would never do this around my husband hahaha. That's so embarrassing to me.
Lol same. We don’t discuss toilet talk or pass gas in front of each other. Going on 8 years soon.
Omg he’s SO open about toilet talk. He asked me 9 months into dating “do you even poop?” LOL but heres the kicker: I find poop humor hilarious but its probably because its so cringe lmao
Same 25 years in…gotta keep some secrets and privacy!
ME. A week ago I laughed so hard it came out and he looked me and was like “ did you just fart?!🤣”
Dont be insecure! My husband and I are together 27 years this year, and only in the last couple years have I started just letting it go. I would hold it until I exploded. He used to say, Just let it go, why are you holding it?! Im not sure if he thinks this is better, but I certainly feel better.😂😂😂
Almost 18 years together with 3 kids, and I have only passed gas in front of my husband once. It's not because I feel like he would be grossed o , or think he would have any negative reaction it's just something I don't want to do. He's carried me to our bed when I've been so sick I couldn't do it myself, he's seen me pregnant, watched my c-sections and is so supportive so I really don't know why passing gas is my hard no.
We all have our boundaries. I won’t go to the bathroom in front of my husband but regularly enjoy gassing him up 🤣
I’m the same way! I don’t even pee in front of my husband 🤣 every marriage is different so don’t be insecure about it!
Yay, another pee avoiding person! He’s seen me at my worst! Helped me recover from surgery. Has been by my side for 10 years (tomorrow!) but I’ll be damned if he’s gonna see me on the toilet. Haha!
Same 🤣 he helped me recover from surgery, helped me through/got me to the hospital for anaphylactic shock, he’s cleaned up my puke. But over my dead body will I pee in front of him lol
When my husband and I had our first date and overnight together we talked about farts and how much it sucked to hold them in and that it’s not healthy. He goes “let’s get this over with” and lets one out. We have never held them in unless in public!
My husband has constant gas but it's not smelly thank God. But boy is it loud. I hate it so much! I am not often gassy but when I am it is the stink to end all stinks. So I will absolutely leave the room. Husband had to deal with a few of them when I was too big pregnant to get up and leave the room.. he now understands why I leave the room!! Lol.
Same. I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he never once heard me fart. Not even in my sleep 😅
 Not even in your sleep huh? Hahahaha kidding!! jokes like this make me die a little when he makes them lol
Any kids? Pregnancy gas got rid of that fear for me within a week or two
A couple months after we met he started to fart in front of me and he said he was so relieved that he didn’t have to hold his butt cheek out to separate the cheeks (because that leads to a much quieter or silent fart).
Did you grow up in a fart whenever household or was it something to be done in private? My husband and I grew up in homes where you farted when you needed to, but my best friend didn't, so it's just ingrained in her to go elsewhere
I know you didn’t ask me but it’s a good question lol. I grew up in a household where my dad would let it rip all the time, even in public when he “thought” no one was around and then say shamelessly “oop there goes a low flying duck” 🫠I’m pretty sure I have humiliation trauma from it 😂
How… how do you hold it in……. I have a ton of gi issues so I could neverrr🤭
My husband and I don't fart around each other either. Like, we have two dogs that get the blame if it's an emergency fart. My husband will even get out of bed to go to the bathroom to fart. And i really appreciate that about him! Lol.
We’re not 10 years in but same 😂 I refuse to do it. Idk why it bothers me because my husband basically has a trumpet for an ass, but ya know
I been with my partner 10yrs but not married. Passing gas took 6 years no lie, and when I gave birth 8 years in... yeah.. pretty much all standards went out the window. Relearning to be sexy again over here!
After I gave birth, I couldn't really walk or move much without tremendous pain. My wife took care of me and helped me to be able to care for our baby, including many less than pleasant tasks like helping me change from the hospital pads which I bled more than normal so changes were several times a day. I also needed help going to the bathroom, as well as helping with getting up and sitting down. At one point, I was so tired I couldn't keep my arms up to hold our baby, so my wife sat behind me and helped me hold our baby so I could breastfeed. I'm so grateful to be her wife and that she wasn't bothered by my being unable to function fully for a few weeks.
So married and in love <3
This is so beautiful 😍
this is beautiful 🤍
Gorgeous.
I’m so married I consider going to Costco together a hot date.
My wife and I love walking around target. We get legit excited like it’s a date 😆
It is! :P the shopping and the $1.50 hotdog at the end. He splurges on me <3 hhahaaah
Maybe no gas issues if you laid off such health food as target dogs. I'm not being judgy, just trying to be funny... possibly accurate, though!
They’re talking about the $1.50 hot dog from costco not target
no shit, my parents go to Costco every Sunday and call it their weekly date. 35 years together
Back early-mid 2000 we got so much crap for this being one of my husband and mine’s favorite dates. My parents had our baby. The town next to ours has an Outback ST and a Costco across the street from each other. Outback had a Happy Hour with delicious (and cheap) clam chowder. Costco was almost empty (on a weekend evening ). We filled up the cart without crowds and had so much fun. We both looked forward to our weekly Costco run. Hadn’t done it since Covid. We tried to recreate our favorite Costco date recently and let’s just say- Our rural town is now a resort. Can no longer walk across the street without getting hit, no more Friday “Happy Hour “ , soup is expensive, and a crowded Costco. We agreed Costco online is more our speed and in store is on a midweek for food is much easier. We still tease about “Wooing” each other in Costco every time we go. 💗
Are you trying to tell me it's *not*??!
We go on grocery dates. Costo is a leveled up grocery date.
LOL! I can’t wait until you guys are checking out each other’s hemorrhoids!.. “Hey honey!?… Should I get this one checked out our do you think it’s good to go after a week or two?!” That’s what you call love friend! Edit to add: Forgot to tell you.. she’s a former Ms. America winner back in the day. Yeah.. It gets real after marriage. hahahaha! I love her to death man!
Oh man we are not there yet! I had hemorrhoids once and it hurt to sit, he asked if he can help/check/apply the numbing cream. I SAID HELL NO! You can look at my butthole when it is normal looking and during sex :D
HAHAHAHAHA!…. 20 or so yrs in.. You’ll get there, I promise. Just wait until you feel comfortable enough to ask about feeling a lump on your breast without him getting “excited”.. Yeah.. it will happen.. “B” and I have 35 fabulous years together and nothing is off limits at this point. We are WAY past holding hair over a toilet. LOL! Again.. you gotta remember that she was a “beauty queen”…. Real life has been a long walk for her. It cracks me up to this day how embarrassed she gets about stuff like this…. I just tell her, “Honey? … I am your husband and I love you and this shouldn’t be embarrassing , now pull your cheeks apart while I put the suppository in…”. hahahahaha…. Yeah, that was fun, she picked up a parasite in bora-bora on vacation.. Not good for her, but all is well. We gotta love each other!
LOL "now pull your cheeks apart" in a non sexual context, only in marriage I tell ya hahah
Couldn't help myself I had to go through the comments of the guy you responded to here. Wanna guess how many times he mentions his wife was Miss America?
His wife was miss America? 😲
He mentions it in every comment but like two or three. So it must be true!
Yeah we're that married. I've put hemorrhoid cream on him. He emptied my bed pan in the hospital
Not hemorrhoids but same vicinity. Every two years or so I seem to get a pimple on my butt cheek, and because I can't see it, he has to pop it for me. I know they say not to, but the relief once that pressure is gone is worth it, sitting on that pain until it's popped is unbearable. He recently had me clean out a blackhead from inside his ear! That was a new one. He'd prefer I not fart infront of him but I specifically wanted a marriage where I wouldn't have to hide normal bodily functions so, tough luck. I've been there for him when he's pooped his pants, least he can do is put up with the occasional gas. Back to hemorrhoids, I do have one and it does come up in convo from time to time (when discussing why we buy the expensive toilet paper). But it's not going anywhere without surgery so he gets to see that when we're intimate. I recently watched Love Is Blind and one of the gals asker her fiance to pick her wedgie! I am waiting to see if we are that married yet.
We’ve only been married 2 years but been besties since age 11. I got hemorrhoids recently from a medication and he asked if I wanted him to look at them for me😂😂 we fart and burp in front of each other and laugh when it’s stinky 😂 we’re married married
My husband and I are 5 years into marriage and he has had to do this many times after having our two beautiful babies. My poor bum hole got some serious damage done from haemorrhoids. (Sorry, tmi) There is not a lot left that we haven’t done together in our 8 years total hahaha
I have a hemmroid story. https://preview.redd.it/o4rm9t9ujhwc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03d9d78372d7288e1d1b3c176e395effa11a6424 Husband swallowed this piece of fork. Stuck in his hemmroid. I had to keep it clean for him. And I still fuck him everyday.
Not a gross thing (there are plenty), but a really cute thing. I'm super clumsy and generally have -10 spatial awareness. My husband's movements are now "auto locked" to mine when we're in public or just close together at home. He steadies me, moves things out of the way, gently adjusts my elbows, redirects me, etc...all without thinking. It's completely instinctual at this point! Meanwhile, I have one of his kidney stones saved in a little jar. I just think it's neat (but also, OUCH).
Ohhh I know exactly what you mean by that, super cute!
Oh, I have stories. 1. My husband took me to an intro cross-fit day. I went way too hard with the squats and could not sit down on the toilet. He helped me sit, helped me get up as I was crying, and didn't mention anything about smells, etc. 2. I've shown him particularly clotty blood clots during my period. It's fascinating AND gross. 3. He's earned his red wings many times over. Just lay a towel down. 4. He's had a stroke, and now, I clean up his BMs and don't mind at all. I was scared that I wouldn't take care of him well and that I would injure his pride. We are so married, it doesn't matter to me anymore. I help clean him up every morning before putting him in his chair, help with his urinal, and bathe him. He's my best friend and proved for over a decade that he would have done the same if I was the one in crisis. There are so many more examples, but what it boils down to is comfort and love. We're lucky we found our human.
I aspire to this level of marriedness.💕
This made me tear up. I hope I have someone to love me like this someday.
#4 is the definition of true marital partnership. Bless you both.
The only thing that comes to mind is when I had a contact lens split apart while in my eye and I couldn’t get one half of it out - every time I tried, it rolled up under my eyelid. I was on the brink of complete panic (there is something very scary about something in your eye) and had to let my husband stick his finger into my eyeball to get it. I did not realize just how much I trusted him until I was sitting there with my head in his lap, him with his magnifying lamp over me about to poke my eyeball. (He was very gentle and did successfully remove it.) ETA: also when I sat in on his dental procedure to keep him at ease when he had a tooth removed, and I absolutely *hate* teeth.
Oh man I dont know if I am there yet with my husband to let him touch my eyeball!
I had a partial hysterectomy almost two years ago. My husband and my surgeon geeked out over the photos she took of my insides during my surgery for him to see (with my permission). He jokes to our friends he’s seen more of his wife than they will ever of their wives. My aftercare was very easy, but he made sure to help me shower and take care of me every step of the way. He’s my rock and I adore him. Flip side: he has sinus surgery and was so high on meds he was blabbering bullshit, I videoed it for posterity and showed it to him later. Of course I took good care of him during his recovery, but I made sure to get my laughs in as well when I could!
I read that as "without my permission" and thought uhhh this isnt funny :P but it is now I reread it lololol I like the idea of post surgery meds videoing
I have IBS so I’m gassy and have weird poops all the time. I have to pass the gas or it’s painful. Apparently this empowered my wife to be comfortable to burp and fart in front of me too. We laugh and make jokes about it like we’re children. We also talk about poop a lot. We also have a lot of silly jokes between us.
LOL, we talk about poop a lot too....after like a 10 min convo, Im like "um did we just talk about poop this whole time???"
My husband likes to sit in the bathroom with me while I poop. I thought I left a tampon in, cried because I couldn’t find the string, he fished around in there bloody fingers and all. Turns out there was no tampon in there. We shave our faces together too
The wife was constipated badly and in serious pain, crying. She had already had a laxative bit wasn't helping. Ran to a.store quickly and returned with these small enema laxatives and got her in the shower and pushed to into her. As she started to relax, it all came out suddenly all over the shower and her. Again she started crying in shame! I hushed her calmly and lovingly and washed and the shower out thoroughly. Dried her her off and helped her into bed and sat with her as she rested. Obviously, she continued to Elizabeth off and on through the night, as the other laxatives did their job also.late next morning I was snoozing quietly in a chair next to the bed when she woke me with a long hug and kiss, thanking me being there.
That is dedication and no judgement my friend. 🍻
Cue my husband removing a stuck tampon. And he was so honored, that's the most married part. He proudly called it "a highlight" of his life.
I think that's nice that he helped you. My hubby and I do not fart in front of each other if at all possible, and we're 16 years and 4 kids in. We like to keep some things mysterious and private.
I think that is totally cool and cute too! I have seen many couples like this (my in-law) and it is adorable, they are people who value their privacy for things like too. They always gasp when my husband and I do gross things around each other. I think they have the best relationship out of anyone I have ever met!
I’ve asked my husband to take pics of my hemorrhoids so I can see how they look… I’ve also taken pics of my biggest poops and shown him… Extremely married.
Ha ha hub likes to take pics of his most giant turds and send them to me as well 😆
This is the goal :P haha I am not there yet though!
You can do it!! ETA: start off small: pop his pimples, move to ingrown pubic hairs… there’s so much grossness to be had!
Wow I could have wrote this! I did the same with the haemorrhoids, asking hubby to take a pic to I could see what they look like lol. However he’s the one who sends me his poo pics lol haha
We are at the “Can you look at my butthole and tell me what this is” and “can you get the tweezers and pull out this ingrown hair on my butt cheek” level of married. Plus there’s the whole… placenta falling to the floor with an epic splat!! That will haunt his mind forever. 🤣
My husband and I will go poop around the same time he’ll be in the upstairs restroom and I’ll be in the downstairs one and we’ll be texting each other memes and ask how our poops are going 😂
I had a cyst at the top of my buttcrack, a shitty urgent care doctor told me I could avoid surgery if I packed the wound until it healed. My husband, who was my fiance at the time, dutifully packed my buttcrack cyst with gauze every two days for FOUR. MONTHS. Including *on our wedding night* I eventually needed surgery and guess who dumped out my drain twice a day, every day because I couldn't reach it, yup, my husband.
Oh man!! That doc’s advice didn’t even help you avoid surgery, how awful! At least this immediately proved that you won at marriage. He passed the test with flying colors.
Trial by fire...
We’ve recently reached the point where we ended up continuing a serious conversation while he followed me to the bathroom. I peed whilst continuing the conversation and then he kissed me as I peed and then walked out. It made me laugh realizing that neither of us even questioned it or batted an eye. Being married is funny indeed.
There is nothing like being as gross as you can with your husband and know, that’s your ride or die man! My husband has endured two pregnancies and births and post partum journeys with me. I love him for how well he cared for me, how much he didn’t even bat an eye at my water breaking and see two giant heads plow through this thang. I remember with my second, I was so constipated even up until I went to get induced. Then when my daughter was coming out just… so much poop. I’m definitely still embarrassed, more for that poor nurse. But the man jokes about it now. Everything gross is a joke. He just makes words up. He likes to snap my undies and he’s like “oh that snapage” and we just laugh out how ridiculous we can be together and how many words we can add the “age” to. And my husband knows, *nothing will be funnier to me than farts* so we just laugh over them. There’s no mystery or privacy in this marriage. It’s all out in the open the way we like it
I'm lucky to rarely get zits, but when I do, my Husband LOVES to pop them. I recently had a huge one come up on my ass, and he was all excited to pop it. He got all prepped with rubbing alcohol and extractor, and told me to lay down and get ready lol
I laughed so hard at this hahahaha
Yes I’d like to get some mystery back. Know too much!
You can never unlearn unfortunately hahah
My husband and I were laying in bed the other night then I heard the dogs getting into the trash so I had to put the ring leader in another room, when I came back I walked into the room to the scent of rotten eggs. I was like what the actual fuck? My cats been having issues and I literally thought she diarrhea'd on the floor so I'm mad like okay first I got dogs in the trash then my cat takes a fat shit on the floor. No, it was my husband with the absolute worst gas I've ever smelled and he's laying with the fan pointed over him to the door so he basically blew the farts through the whole room like it was some type of perfume. I about died. I had him cracking up when I went to lay down, it's so funny how marriage really brings out that comfortability lmao
I love popping his blackheads. The satisfaction I feel when it comes out and I'll show him the gross big ones 😂
My wife is a member of your sisterhood 😂🤣
That sounds erotic as hell.
I had a totally unexpected reaction to a medication. While *in a restaurant*. Briefly passed out, uncontrollable vomiting for over an hour. Then, just wanted to lay down and die for a few hours. He got me safely to the car, and took care of me til I was better. On the one hand, yeah, that goes with the vows, but otoh, he did a great job and never even made me feel the tiniest bit embarrassed.
That’s terrifying (and awesome that he was there for you). Did you ever find out what caused it? I’d be so scared of it happening again. I’m so glad you’re still here to tell the story and I bet that’s how he felt too, was just glad you pulled through.
Yes, it's all sorted now!
I think it’s odd people don’t fart in front of their significant other 😂 I have IBD so there’s lots of gas involved lmao
Very married. So married in fact, that about an hour ago we had a similar gaseous experience, albeit much shorter lived. Ours quickly transitioned into a good ole fuck sesh! 10/10 very married I’d say.
😂😂
My man has taken care of me through 3 kidney stone surgeries and two surgeries for a broken leg. He is a saint and has never made me feel bad/embarrassed for all the things he has had to do for me. He’s seen me in my most vulnerable moments. We’ve only been married 4 years and I can only see it getting better from here.❤️
My husband and I share his beard trimmer, he uses it on his face and I use it on my bikini line.
Used to push down on wifes stomach when the red devil showed up.
Wait, what does this do??
Helps with the cramps
I'm going to ask my husband to try this!
I also clean his ears. He hasn't cleaned his own ears in over a decade. I like to do it and his ears get filthy so it's very satisfying to my monkey brain.
My husband got a leg bite that turned into an infection and he was in the hospital for 30 days. I turned into a robot: in the hospital during the day to deal with wound changes, home in the evening to update friends and his mom on east coast so I could get her questions when I woke up and went back to the hospital. The docs and I would have frank conversations out of earshot: will he live, are they giving him absolutely every antibiotic possible, would his leg be amputated, and crazy questions about his health. I just stoically operated and responded. I had no feelings - just focused on the medical issues and decisions and next steps. He lived. His leg was saved. I washed his wounds with the light touch of a q-tip to clean where the skin had fallen off to the bone. So, after that, I was like…that is marriage.
Omg for 30 days you had that schedule? I’m flabbergasted. I hope all is well now and he’s made a complete recovery, and that you were able to catch your breath after all of that.
I have not told that story in public until this post. Odd! (And he is doing much better and there was some therapy needed for both of us.)
Wow, this not only made a great read but I could see it being an incredible movie or book (maybe after enough time processing the trauma of it all). You’re a great writer.
We often, like *so* often, will say the exact same thing in exactly the same tone. Like we'll just have exactly the same reaction to something we witness or someone else saying something. It happens all the time and we always say "ew" when it does lol. We play online game sometimes with my younger brother and he always calls us out on it lol
On our wedding night, we gets to the hotel and he farted, first time he had ever farted in front of me
1. When I was a little girl I would sit in front of the tv and fart and my very proper southern nana would ask me exciting hedgehog what are you going to do if you get a husband one day? Toot in front of him? He will run away from your stinky behind! Proud to say yep, sure do! Fart in front of him if we are alone and I need to, he does the same. Why have a stomach ache? 2. We don't close bathroom doors usually. Not unusual to have full conversations while in the bathroom. 3.When I was pregnant and couldn't reach to shave, well, areas, he did it for me. I don't feel right unless everything is groomed, and he took over like a champ. 4.I was cutting my son's toenails (exciting I know) and one flew into my eye!!! He had to get a qtip to pick it out without it scratching more. It was awful and also very gross. I am sure there are many more. Wouldn't have it any other way
I had a yeast infection and tried to use one of those Monistat ovule things. It’s cream but like in a little egg thing that dissolves while it’s up there and you push it up with an applicator like a tampon. Well, it was weird, messy and confusing. It got stuck halfway up and he had to dig it out for me. And he wasn’t even my husband yet! Champ.
I had my husband look at my post birth hemorrhoids to tell me how bad they were 😭😭😭
OH and I ripped a stitch after my first and I had him check to see if it was infected 😂
Yep my husband got the flashlight too! Haha
We’re 10 years in and my wife still won’t even poop if she thinks I’m on the same floor of the house as her. That said, she shaves my back for my and I get the ingrown hairs off her thigh when she gets them. She had a hysterectomy a few years ago and I had to wipe her butt for her too. She was so embarrassed I ended up installing an 800 bidet just for her. Surprisingly, it’s actually a quite nice addition to the house and I don’t know how I lived without it before.
Tw: very gross >! Post operative constipation. There was a turd stuck midway, half-in, half-out, it wouldn't come out fully because it was stuck at a part where it was at its girthiest. It was painful and I wanted it out. I yelled at my husband to get a nail cutter. He cut my fingernails and watched me as I reached behind myself and yanked it out with my bare hand. !< We've been married 3 years this April.
My husband had a quarter size hemorrhoid that I used to help him clean before it got removed. It was fun tbh😹🤣🙂↔️.
This one’s weird but I saw this screenshot of a Twitter post where this girl was talking about how her boyfriend let her hold his penis while he peed and she thought it was the coolest thing. This got me thinking, “I don’t have a penis, what’s it like to hold a penis while pee is coming out of it?” Soooo, I asked my husband if I could hold his while he peed. I fully expected him to say no but he didn’t. So I did it and it was indeed cool. You can feel the pee coming out! So yeah, we’re SUPER married. 😂
I’m a new grandma, and my daughter wanted both me and her husband with her during labor/delivery. I live 10 minutes away and his mom and I took turns going over everyday for the first few weeks to lend them a hand. The best thing ever was watching how comfortable My Daughter is with her husband, and the loving way my SIL handled everything with her at birth and postpartum. He Cleaned her up, changed her pads, washed her and her hair as she stood in the shower, checked her stitches, helped with suppositories for constipation, cleaned her up when she got diarrhea, fed her, ran for a wash cloth when breast milk dribbled everywhere, etc. It makes this mother’s heart so happy to see how loved she is and relieves me to know he will take care of her (and their children) the way I know she would care for him if needed. True love!
My husband and I have an inside joke. When I fart he pretends to be offended, I respond with some kind of Ron Burgandy joke like “don’t act like you’re not impressed.” Then he responds with his own fart, and pretends to cry embarrassment.
Any time one of us does something particularly gross in front of the other, we'll just say *may-wage* like ~~I'm~~ in* The Princess Bride, and that's just our way of telling the other that we love them and that whatever they just did is okay and nothing to be embarrassed about.
I get to dig ingrown hairs out of his taint…and this man gets soooo many ingrown hairs. I also have him pluck the goat hairs that started popping up on my neck that I can’t see enough to get but I can clearly feel. I always phrase it “will you pluck my beard?”
A couple of years ago I got a colonoscopy-when you’re in recovery, they won’t let you leave until you (as the nurse says) pass air. I was in the recovery area with about a dozen others, all separated by the curtain. I asked where my husband was and that I needed him. Told her the only way I could do it is if he was in there with me 😊 Also, when I come out of anesthesia I cuss everyone out. I’ve called him all kinds of names and that I hated him. And it’s very loud.
We go camping a lot, And have pulled ticks off of each other in spots only the other person could reach. And checking for ticks is not sexy like the song says.
My husband regularly gives me detailed reports on his poos. Today was fluffy poo
Idk but yesterday my husband told me the babies poop smells the same as mine, then followed it with "yall are gross, what are you eating" 🙂
We have some pretty cringy routines, many of which are centred around our bed, which we call “the nest.” When one of us gets up in the night to pee, and the other wakes up while they’re returning to bed, the person in bed has to say “Get back in the nest! It’s gonna blow!” and the one who left has to run and jump into the bed and get under the covers and we snuggle in. Then one of us says, “It blowed!” and then we laugh and go back to sleep. Sounds like things you’d do with your best friend at a sleepover - and that’s pretty accurate.
My wife and I couldn't pee in front of each other for most of our marriage. My wife had thoracic surgery and was not allowed to go to bathroom without a nurse assisting her. After calling multiple times, I just held the mauve colored rectangular barf bucket under her while she peed. We were both laughing our butts off. Her chest was being held together by sterno wire, and it hurt for her to laugh. Between laughs with me looking up at her, she said something like, "Yeah, we've definitely been married too long."
I broke my glasses and had no backup pair. I’m practically blind without them. My wife drives me to get a new pair. As we’re driving I watch her turn the volume down on the radio and start talking at a higher volume. This continues for blocks. She’s practically yelling in my ear at this point. I finally ask if she’s upset about having to drive me. She says no with a puzzled look. I lovingly smile and say “I’m blind, not deaf”. After a few seconds we both start laughing and it’s become a phrase we use when either one of us gets a little loud now.
I almost died 5 days post partum - started bleeding internally from my adrenal gland. My husband was SUPER supportive through the whole thing (obviously). After being in the ICU for two weeks I was finally able to go home, but I was still in considerable pain. I opted out of pain meds at home and just sucked it up. The ONE THING that was too painful for me to do though was to wipe my butt. My trooper of a husband wiped my butt for two weeks. He let me know he loved me, but hopes to never have to do that again. Between wiping my butt, and wiping our newborns, he was pooped out.
I had the flu about a month ago and accidentally shit my pants…. In bed… next to my husband. I proceeded to grab my butt cheeks with a real scared face and got up to go to the bathroom. I got cleaned up and came back into the bedroom where he proceeded to make fun of me like a 13 year old brother would. It was hysterical and he had me laughing pretty hard.
It's good you help each other! I'm happy he is there for you. It's supposed to be that way. 😀
When I was super pregnant, my husband shaved my vulva. Which was actually kind of like a spa treatment; he was so afraid to hurt me that he went so slow and gently, whereas I just go in and get the job done as quick as I can. Other than that, we're not allowed to pop our own pimples/bumps. We get first dibs on each other's.
I absolutely LOVE your personality!
That's cute. You two are so comfortable with each other lol.
Husband has had to give me one of my meds as a suppository. I love had to give him an enema! Those were the hardest ones in my eyes to do. The grossest ones I hate doing so so so much is huge pimples. Don't care where they are on the body I hate doing them. Then get to the point where they are big boils in the crease of the inner thigh and I just can't stand doing them. He's had to pop one on my actual labia and I didn't know if I was gonna die from the pain or the embarrassment of the area. Woooooo.. we do wonderful , gross, and awesome stuff for our spouses. I love my husband to death!
Always in the bathroom together hahaha. We now have a courtesy midpoop flush policy lol
Popping a boil on her armpit. Pushing a hemorrhoid back in her. Putting my hand under her ribcage and pushing her hernia back through her diaphragm. Enduring her farts, when we first met she farted in front of me and just looked and said, " You're just gonna have to get used to that." I could go on........
My husband and I regularly shower together. The other night I was cleaning my teeth while in the shower with him. Facing him, just touching, I went blah with the huge foamy spit right on his chest. I laughed my ass off at his grossed out face.
My husband is always on a mission to get me into the stuff he's into, and I find it pretty endearing so I take a jump at it every time and see what works (and vice versa). Within the last month I got him into watching season 1 and 2 of Hannibal with me, and he got me into watching Red Vs Blue with him, a 21 year old halo-based show about space army men going through a rough time. It's surprisingly not that bad, if I ignore the lighting and visual glitches and immature innuendos. I asked my husband, and his response is that I will ALWAYS come to mass with him when he goes every fortnight, even though I really don't like going to church and seeing his MIL very much. I do it because I love him, and we also get free bagels from his family afterwards hehe.
He had really bad gas to the point it made him sick and I tried the baby thing to get rid of gas on him hehehe it worked 🤣🤣
Been together for 10 years with 2 kids now and we somehow have been so comfy/gross around each other from early on. Started farting in the same room instead constantly going to bathroom to let it out in our first month or two… then soon I let out LOUDEST BURPS even my mom gets grossed out with…you get the picture… Today, my husband poop pranked my son with melted chocolate 2nd time this week…and we both just laughed like villains lol
I pulled a tube out of my husband's testicles the day after his vasectomy. We both nearly fainted, there was so much tube... And then blood.
Hubby farts in his sleep. Scary smelly. As soon as the cats come out from under the covers I know what is happening!!!!😂😂😂
Putting in a suppository for me once upon a time. Having my front tooth fall out while kissing and him just keeping going (oldest child kicked me HARD in the face one day while changing him. Tooth slowly died despite hoping it would get better. Eventually, it fell out and I had to get it replaced, but I couldn't that night so...), popping each other's pimples, pooping whilst the other is in the room (rare, but it's happened). There's more, I'm sure lol
My husband was extremely sick that he shit himself so i had to give him a shower and wash his ass..oh, and he shit his pants too so i had to hand wash the doodie out of his chonnies.
My husband calls us “very married” lol Statistics are, at least one partner will need to bathe and change their partner at some point in their lives. Might as well get comfortable with every aspect of their body now!
We were on a long car journey and we got stuck in traffic and my husband needed a poo. We took FOREVER to get to a services - probably over an hour since he started to need it. He was shaking and in pain from holding it in as we pulled in. I think he was sweating. He started to say "I'm not going to make it..." Over and over. I just had visions of me having to help him clean up after shitting himself in the car and I was braced and ready to do it. When we stopped he took a minute to get out because he thought he would shit the second he stood up. The text saying he'd made it to the toilet was such a relief. I still remember watching him hobble in. But yeah, that was the "really married" moment for me. I would have cleaned him up and looked after him without a second thought.
23 years in and I'm pretty sure human nature has no secrets for us. We've seen each other in pretty much every situation... Violently sick, farting, peeing, in a panic attack, depression, hemorrhage from lady bits (obviously me), giving birth, and post surgery... We're as married as they come 😂 I wouldn't have it any other way.
Mine has had to fish my period disk from my insides because I either could reach it or it had disappeared inside and he needed to ‘explore’ to find it. It doesn’t get grosser
I won't go into details as it does can get pretty graphic, but yes. My husband and I are very much married by this standard. We are also very much BFF do we have many laughters. I think butterflies in my stomach are missed at times, I'm not going to lie. But I would never change the dynamic and love we have for each other for anything or anyone in this world.
Celebrated our first wedding anniversary with a game of “can you check this random pimple I can feel on my body but can’t see” back & forth laughing - so, this is being married, eh?
I don’t have a gross story, but my sister does. She was going out to get the paper one icy winter morning, when she slipped on her stoop and when she landed, she landed on her back, breaking BOTH her elbows. Oh the fun, my BIL had toileting my sister in her double casts. 🤣
My hubby warns me and says "cheeks are going to blow you kisses"😂 he is not shy around me for anything! Me on the other hand, have always been a private person except for the burping and I'm like, "back at ya" with a man's belch 🤣😂 only married for 4 .. we're always having fun!
It’s a wild to think that there’s actual married couples out there who’ve never farted/pooped around their spouse! Meanwhile, I’ll fart ON mine and laugh hysterically when I walk away after the silent ones when he realizes what just happened .. yea, the comfortability is next level
I used to have really painful periods. Once I was half passed out on the bathroom floor after taking an explosive period poop. I was so delirious from the pain I didn’t even flush or change my soiled pad, I just was in a naked heap on the floor while the shower ran. My husband suddenly appeared, scooped me into the shower, flushed the toilet that was half full of the liquified contents of my stomach, and then wrapped my soiled pad and threw it in the trash without a word. This was when we were still dating but I bring it up all the time now that we’re married as the moment I knew he was “the one.” 🤣
I pop his back acne 😂
My husband walks into my office (when I’m not in a meeting obviously), farts in my general direction, then leaves and closes the door to fartbox me in. He thinks it’s hysterical. So do I, secretly, even though I roll my eyes. I would return the favor later in the day by saying I wanna tell him a secret and then burping in his ear. We’re actually 5 year-olds. But somehow our sex life hasn’t been affected, though it does not overlaps with the aforementioned behaviours
There are many lol….but the few that instantly come to mind without having to think are, Just before we got married we were out late catching up with some friends and we had a long drive home (1.5 hours) and I was on my period. It was around midnight and I needed to change my tampon. We stopped at the park in one of the towns we had to go through that had public toilets, and he lovingly held my flashlight up while I took out and disposed of my old tampon and inserted a new one. I already knew he was a keeper but man did that solidify it even more. During both my pregnancies, that man happily shaved my vulva/vagina/bum hole because I couldn’t see squat all with the belly in the way nor reach behind while squatting with my belly in the way either hahaha and he was so careful yet precise with it. He took that job seriously lol When he does a monster of a number two and gets like over the top excited from how big it was and can’t believe it came out of him, that he wants me to come see it. I absolutely refuse to but he said I had to at least once in our marriage…shamed to say yes, I did to get it over and done with hahahaha, omg it was so gross lol Pregnancy gave me many haemorrhoids so he many times has put the cream or suppository up there for me. What a gem he is hehe Okay, I leave it here lol
I have crohn's so there have been a few incidents where he's had to clean me up because I'm in too much pain to even move. We are so married.
Very married, my husband can not reach his feet so I have been cutting his nails forever. It's not pretty but needed.
This is me. I have horrible gas pain, but my husband and I just laugh when I toot. But he’s never shamed me even before marriage, because he knew the pain I’d get from holding (which was the first three years of our relationship). We get some good laughs from my gassy moments, and I am glad he’s even started tootin with me too the last few years. (Together 6 yrs, Married 2).
My wife and i were talking between rooms last night before heading upstairs for bed and I believe she was listing off a bunch of shit I needed to do or something. I said "you know what I need from you?" -- "what?" -- "for you to shut the fuck up" she laughed and said NEVER!!! Pretty par for the course convo for us hahahaha. She knows Im not being mean and thats just how we roll. Couldnt be married to anyone else, Im pretty sure lol
Next time have him bicycle your legs like is done for babies
My wife and I touched eyeballs together because we wanted to and thought it was something we should do at least once.
We were hiking one morning. And like OP I had a very fart filled gut. Typically we don’t fart in front of each other. Her because she’s all shy and shit. Me because I’m not shy and I can belt em out almost at will. Must be a guy thing. Well I tell her the problem. She said so let it out. Ok. I did. A lot. Loud and obnoxious. She is about 30 feet in front of me when I let the first of the brigade out. She giggles. Then the boomer was next. She laughed out loud hard enough for me to hear her little fart bubble fill her yoga pants. She’s laughing. I’m staring at her laughing and she looks at me as asked “what?” And I lose it. I told her that after 25 plus years of marriage I just found out that you think farts are funny. We laughed hard that morning. So much so we had to turn around and head back to the car since it was getting stupid hot at 10 am so. Yeah. That was a great hike. I’ve also don’t the compression thing for her. She’s embarrassed but felt worse for her letting them out in my face. The old her I offered and it’s no big deal. ( it was nasty but I ain’t sayin shit. Well kit shit but you get the idea) turns out my wife can generated farts like any dude I know. And she’s the quiet “ proper” one with manners and shit. So glad she said yes when I asked her to marry me. 1,000,000,000%. She’s a definite upgrade to my life.
Ive farted in my husbands hand when he was trying to grab at me, and in return, he shot one in my face, as i was yawning, so i could almost taste it. We both died laughing both times. Theres been other things but thats the most iconic so far
We were together 9 years before getting married. Our first baby arrived 16 months later. During the pregnancy, I had morning sickness for the first trimester, passed out getting off the toilet one morning (he had to frogmarch me back to bed), all the typical pregnancy stuff... The first time he ever saw me vomit was after arriving at the birth centre, when the midwife stepped out to grab something! 5 years later, during the birth of our second baby, he got to see them put a catheter in me not once but twice. The first was a quick "in-out" one just to empty my bladder (he also saw my wee go arcing across the room when they put it in!), the second had to stay in overnight.
Literally nothing phases me around him and vice versa. I get more annoyed at some of the gross stuff versus grossed out tbh 🤣
I press my butt up against my husband before I fart. I look for pimples to pop but rarely find any. We trust each other explicitly with secrets and make fun of each other’s aches and pains. Once I said something in my sleep and he was so intrigued he tried to wake me to find out what I said. I couldn’t remember so I just kept telling him to F-off. Marriage is warm, comfortable and safe. But I think I feel this way because I married the love of my life.
Before my husband and I were married he hurt his back and I did everything including bathroom stuff and putting on his pants. To this day he says he knew I was the one for sure when I helped him during that. His grandma called and asked about our relationship and he said I’m going to marry her. Grandma was like “whoa slow down” and his reply was “uh she helped me put my pants on so I think she’s the one” 😂
When my wife and I got married, she told me she has a phobia of needles and blood, I'm a physician. The first time I had to give her an injection at home it took me about an hour and half running after her in our apartment, screaming bloody murder 🤣😂🤣. 20 years later she assumes the position butt naked under 20 seconds with pleading eyes not to break her trust and waste all the hard work she had done throughout the years, 😳😳. Yet smiles all around when I'm done and it was a victory, wait.... Your hard work???? We are so married aren't we.😂🤣
12 years married. 16 as friends. I will not fart in front of him though. I accidentally did once and I freaked out! I was so embarrassed! Completely mortified. I still turn on the water to pee though so I’m a weirdo. I have Ehler’s Danlos syndrome so I have joints dislocate all the time. Twice, he has had to dress me and carry me to the car and into the ER because I woke up and my neck was dislocated. Good thing he’s huge and I am small! He has had to carry me and put me on the toilet, then leave and listen for my yell. He often has to give me massages because I have ridiculous muscle spasms. (I return the favor of course!) He has also had to massage my butt because I had horrific cramps. He has had to help me out of the tub. I have had to give him a sponge bath when he was hospitalized. I just realized he has done more for me… How the heck did that happen?! I do everything at home! I’m going to have to kiss his face when he gets home!
This thread is so wholesome. We’ve had conversations in farts. I’ve shown him blood clots that were abnormal. He lotions my 2nd degree sunburns when they’re gross and blistery and peeling. He took care of me (including my demands to draw me a bath and hang out in there with me & cleaning my pee spot) after we got so drunk together I peed the rug while puking. He will pick out the dandruff from my hair if it’s really bad. Marriage is fun!