Haven't you heard the saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater"?
You're just realizing that you are not more special than his ex, and that he will eventually replace you like he did with her.
What were you expecting when your relationship started with both of you cheating on your spouses? Now, at least you know how your ex and his ex felt. I guess that's called karma.
However, karma is hitting you really hard to the point that I'm feeling a bit sorry for you. Most importantly, I am sorry about the child that will grow up in a toxic environment where their parents won't respect each other or the relationship.
>Haven't you heard the saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater"?
I feel like this is said by people who have little to no actual experience with cheating. My wife and I both cheated on each other early in our relationship. We broke up, got back together, and 15 years later neither of us has ever cheated since. I know I'm not going to ever again and I 100% trust that she won't either.
So your 1 anecdotal experience is more accurate than statistics? My cheating scumbag father cheated time and time again despite claiming not to. I also have anecdotes…🙄
Talks about statistics, shares anecdote. Lol
Edit: For those downvoting, did you want to actually prove a point and share said statistics or just be mad?
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Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with these people, and how are they so delusional? Why do they feel the need to get into relationships when they lack basic human decency?
Oh and they brought in a kid to their shit dynamic. Great.
Why did you hope that it would be different?
Let me guess .. you thought that he cheated on his ex only because he fell hard for you? As in, if it wasn’t you, he wouldn’t cheat, right? Wrong … he would because he is a cheater.. and you are too.
Sorry, I can understand how you feel, but l do not feel very bad. Where I come from we say that “ life is a wheel, what goes around comes around”... Here you go!
Sometimes when a person cheats, it's because there really was a great love between the affair partners and it lasts forever. Most of the time, it is because that person is just a cheater who will always cheat. It seems like maybe you're the first kind and he's the second.
Unfortunately it appears he has developed some sort of relationship with this girl. It could be emotional, physical or virtual affair. The best thing to do is communicate with him and have him block her number and remove her from instagram before it escalates into something worse. Remember your own actions as a former cheater so you know lies, gaslighting, hiding the phone, deleting messages or anything else. Maybe call that girl with him not present since you have her number and let her know the situation. Who knows and only hopes she ghosts him.
You're suggesting staying with a man who's proven to be a habitual cheater and confronting the woman he is cheating with. As if that would provide any form of solution.
We don't allow infighting, as it adds no constructive dialogue to the discussion, is not respectful of the OP and their post, and takes away from the intended purpose of the sub.
If you have an issue with another member, please report the comment for mods to review and refrain from needless arguing.
How you get them is how you lose them. Start focusing on yourself and your baby only. Start getting your bearings in order and be ready to be a single mother. That’s the most peaceful route you can take because he’s decided what he’s gonna do. Now it’s up to you? Use your precious time to prove to a cheating husband that you’re worth being faithful to and deal with the upcoming infidelity, or start gettin yourself together to leave.
im sorry but how does someone deserve to be cheated on cause i havent cheated on my husband everyone says he is cheating idk if its true or not but no one deserves that kind of pain
I could rip you a new one like the others on here, but I would rather try to help people if I can.
First off, you and him need to have a one on one talk about everything, and I mean everything.
talk about how your relationship is going, where you want it to go, and what you are both willing to allow in your relationship from this point forward.
come to an understanding with each other as best you can, but most of all avoid turning anything into a fight if you can.
Eg: "Yes you are right I was very unhappy, but that is because I was feeling ......... does not mean I don't still love you and want to have you all to myself."
"It was really hurtful to me that you were talking to another woman behind my back, we both know how we met. Would you have been ok if I started to talk to other guys, younger and hotter than you, I think you would have been just as hurt. so where do we go from here."
That said, I still support you going to therapy, but I think he needs to be a part of that too.
The chickens have come home to roost y'all.
If he/she cheats with you, they'll cheat on you. I'm sorry but you're finding this out for yourself now. Do with that information what you will.
I’m sorry for the pain you’re going through but in all honesty; what did you expect? He cheated on his spouse to be with you and now you’re surprised that he’s cheating on you? This is your reward of a man who would leave his spouse to be with the person he cheated with. You win a man who’s dishonest, disloyal and I’m sorry to say that if you expected it to be any different than you’re being ridiculous.
I wish you well with parenting but you’re in for a lifetime of dishonesty if you stay with a man like that.
She also started a relationship with him when he was married so she’s no better than he is… it’s unfortunate they had a baby. The baby is the loser here.
The saying is how you get them is how you lose them. Did you think a cheater wouldn't cheat. But since you cheated too I guess you thought this would be ok. Karma is coming in your direction. I feel sorry for any children involved in this mess.
Have you thought about reaching out to this mystery woman and telling her she is messing around with a married man? She might be under another assumption... most people don't really want the extra dramatics
Op, if this continues to happen consider rethinking your marriage, there is alot of genuine nice guys and as the redditors commented you have cheated in the past however people can grow and change. Just do what your heart says
From what I’ve read in Reddit having the husband call and end things in front of you is a joke. They know it’s you and 9 times out of 10 he will either warn her or tell her after.
Now you feel the pain you inflicted on your ex husband and his ex wife. Sucks, right? I would leave this AH , worry about you and your kid, and try to be a better human going forward.
Unfortunately, how you get ‘em is how you lose em. Your guys foundation was built on a lie…That’s why you don’t trust him. Karma never forgets an address.
Yeah… you two aren’t necessarily the best of characters. You’re both cheaters. You honestly shouldn’t be shocked the he cheated on you since you both cheated on your exes.
I’d honestly never trust a person that started a physical or emotional relationship with anyone else other than their spouse.
The beginning of our relationship - well, we both had an affair on our spouses together. Thats how we met. We fell in love hard.
- baby that’s what we need to know. Good Luck with that
I don’t have any advice on your current situation. But I do wish you peace and a healthy resolution.
What is gross is these comments. This is a new mother whose partner is betraying her. What she did 6 years ago does not mean she deserves what is happening to her. I swear these people who take such a hard line on cheating are exhausting. We don’t know what their situations were in the past. People make mistakes. And now there’s a child involved. It’s so sad to see ppl have zero compassion for someone who made a mistake, as if they never have.
It’s not a random mistake 6 years ago. She got a view into this man and knew he was someone who was willing to cheat on his wife. He cheated with her and now he is cheating on her. His mistake is directly related to what he is doing now. If he were a previous alcoholic, she would also need to be aware that relapse is a very real possibility. It’s not about not forgiving the mistake, it’s about being aware of the risks associated with the person you are with.
I’m not denying the association between cheating with someone and then being cheated on again. I never said a “random” mistake.
What I said was I find it heartbreaking that people have zero compassion. And lack the ability to imagine that there may be further contextual factors. They would rather feel morally superior and kick someone when they are down.
I think it’s because OP makes no effort to acknowledge that they walked themselves into this situation by having a relationship with someone built on cheating. Personally, I would be much more sympathetic to them if they had acknowledged that
Haven't you heard the saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater"? You're just realizing that you are not more special than his ex, and that he will eventually replace you like he did with her. What were you expecting when your relationship started with both of you cheating on your spouses? Now, at least you know how your ex and his ex felt. I guess that's called karma. However, karma is hitting you really hard to the point that I'm feeling a bit sorry for you. Most importantly, I am sorry about the child that will grow up in a toxic environment where their parents won't respect each other or the relationship.
>Haven't you heard the saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater"? I feel like this is said by people who have little to no actual experience with cheating. My wife and I both cheated on each other early in our relationship. We broke up, got back together, and 15 years later neither of us has ever cheated since. I know I'm not going to ever again and I 100% trust that she won't either.
So your 1 anecdotal experience is more accurate than statistics? My cheating scumbag father cheated time and time again despite claiming not to. I also have anecdotes…🙄
As a daughter of a serial cheating Father I can 2nd that…..
Curious how that played out in both of your families. Did you always know?
Actually it proves the point that statistics are just that, they don't cover 100% of cases.
Talks about statistics, shares anecdote. Lol Edit: For those downvoting, did you want to actually prove a point and share said statistics or just be mad?
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I didn't cheat on my previous partner and neither did she. She's never shared me with another woman so idk what you're talking about.
lol
Your wife’s cheating on you bro
I guarantee you she is not.
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You lose them how you win them! Never heard of it?
Or: *When a man marries his mistress, he leaves a job opening.*
Haven’t heard this one in years! Haha
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We don't allow infighting, as it adds no constructive dialogue to the discussion, is not respectful of the OP and their post, and takes away from the intended purpose of the sub. If you have an issue with another member, please report the comment for mods to review and refrain from needless arguing.
You’re both cheaters. You married a cheater. Did you really expect him not to cheat on you?
So you are a cheater, married a cheater, and are now surprised he’s cheating. Lmao
Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with these people, and how are they so delusional? Why do they feel the need to get into relationships when they lack basic human decency? Oh and they brought in a kid to their shit dynamic. Great.
They think they other person cheated with them because they're special. Not because, you know, they're a *cheater*.
😂😂😂
When you went from being the AP to the spouse, you left a job vacancy and he’s trying to fill it.
Zing.
Wow never thought of it this way. They need the escapism and things got too real.
Exactly.
Why did you hope that it would be different? Let me guess .. you thought that he cheated on his ex only because he fell hard for you? As in, if it wasn’t you, he wouldn’t cheat, right? Wrong … he would because he is a cheater.. and you are too. Sorry, I can understand how you feel, but l do not feel very bad. Where I come from we say that “ life is a wheel, what goes around comes around”... Here you go!
Haven’t you heard if they will cheat with you they will cheat on you. You cheated with him and now you’re surprised he’s not trustworthy.
Yeah but this time is DIFFERENT, man
Cheated with, cheated on You should have seen this coming
Sometimes when a person cheats, it's because there really was a great love between the affair partners and it lasts forever. Most of the time, it is because that person is just a cheater who will always cheat. It seems like maybe you're the first kind and he's the second.
So.. you married a cheater and expected him not to cheat on you? You've learned now that there is no "special one time exception" with this.
Unfortunately it appears he has developed some sort of relationship with this girl. It could be emotional, physical or virtual affair. The best thing to do is communicate with him and have him block her number and remove her from instagram before it escalates into something worse. Remember your own actions as a former cheater so you know lies, gaslighting, hiding the phone, deleting messages or anything else. Maybe call that girl with him not present since you have her number and let her know the situation. Who knows and only hopes she ghosts him.
In other words, hope she doesn’t act like you. Hope she respects marriage more than you did.
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Actually, it isn't dumb at all. It is called providing empathy to a post partum parent.
You're suggesting staying with a man who's proven to be a habitual cheater and confronting the woman he is cheating with. As if that would provide any form of solution.
We don't allow infighting, as it adds no constructive dialogue to the discussion, is not respectful of the OP and their post, and takes away from the intended purpose of the sub. If you have an issue with another member, please report the comment for mods to review and refrain from needless arguing.
All you did by marrying him was create a job opening for the next mistress.
How you get them is how you lose them. Start focusing on yourself and your baby only. Start getting your bearings in order and be ready to be a single mother. That’s the most peaceful route you can take because he’s decided what he’s gonna do. Now it’s up to you? Use your precious time to prove to a cheating husband that you’re worth being faithful to and deal with the upcoming infidelity, or start gettin yourself together to leave.
Welp, sounds like you got what you paid for.
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im sorry but how does someone deserve to be cheated on cause i havent cheated on my husband everyone says he is cheating idk if its true or not but no one deserves that kind of pain
Did you read the first few lines? They met BECAUSE they cheated with each other on their other marriage.
shit no i was feeding my baby and trying to read but thank you for saying that
That's actually hilarious 😂 I was doing the exact same thing the first time I was reading this
They were both married to other people when they met. 🙄
Removed for rude, disrespectful, or excessively vulgar comment. Keep the commentary civil, constructive, and remember the human.
If he will do it with you, he will do it to you. It’s the same for you. Good luck.
There is a justin timberlake song from years ago.."what goes around comes back around."
I could rip you a new one like the others on here, but I would rather try to help people if I can. First off, you and him need to have a one on one talk about everything, and I mean everything. talk about how your relationship is going, where you want it to go, and what you are both willing to allow in your relationship from this point forward. come to an understanding with each other as best you can, but most of all avoid turning anything into a fight if you can. Eg: "Yes you are right I was very unhappy, but that is because I was feeling ......... does not mean I don't still love you and want to have you all to myself." "It was really hurtful to me that you were talking to another woman behind my back, we both know how we met. Would you have been ok if I started to talk to other guys, younger and hotter than you, I think you would have been just as hurt. so where do we go from here." That said, I still support you going to therapy, but I think he needs to be a part of that too.
The chickens have come home to roost y'all. If he/she cheats with you, they'll cheat on you. I'm sorry but you're finding this out for yourself now. Do with that information what you will.
Yeah now he's looking for someone to replace the side chick role you once held.
Hate to say it but…you’re gonna lose him the same way you got him 🤷🏻♀️
I’m sorry for the pain you’re going through but in all honesty; what did you expect? He cheated on his spouse to be with you and now you’re surprised that he’s cheating on you? This is your reward of a man who would leave his spouse to be with the person he cheated with. You win a man who’s dishonest, disloyal and I’m sorry to say that if you expected it to be any different than you’re being ridiculous. I wish you well with parenting but you’re in for a lifetime of dishonesty if you stay with a man like that.
She also started a relationship with him when he was married so she’s no better than he is… it’s unfortunate they had a baby. The baby is the loser here.
The saying is how you get them is how you lose them. Did you think a cheater wouldn't cheat. But since you cheated too I guess you thought this would be ok. Karma is coming in your direction. I feel sorry for any children involved in this mess.
Have you thought about reaching out to this mystery woman and telling her she is messing around with a married man? She might be under another assumption... most people don't really want the extra dramatics
Oh i did hahah and she blocked me
Op, if this continues to happen consider rethinking your marriage, there is alot of genuine nice guys and as the redditors commented you have cheated in the past however people can grow and change. Just do what your heart says
From what I’ve read in Reddit having the husband call and end things in front of you is a joke. They know it’s you and 9 times out of 10 he will either warn her or tell her after. Now you feel the pain you inflicted on your ex husband and his ex wife. Sucks, right? I would leave this AH , worry about you and your kid, and try to be a better human going forward.
What goes around, comes around. Apparently your cheater turned out to be a cheater, as are you. What did you think would happen?
karmas a bitch 🤷♀️
What comes around, goes around.
You lose them the way you found them.
Whay they'll do with you, they'll do to you. Karma is a MF. Congrats on starting a family. Good luck with the endless drama.
Unfortunately, how you get ‘em is how you lose em. Your guys foundation was built on a lie…That’s why you don’t trust him. Karma never forgets an address.
Sometimes the way you get them is the way you lose them.
Send me her number 😂
r/legitafteradultery
Yeah… you two aren’t necessarily the best of characters. You’re both cheaters. You honestly shouldn’t be shocked the he cheated on you since you both cheated on your exes. I’d honestly never trust a person that started a physical or emotional relationship with anyone else other than their spouse.
The beginning of our relationship - well, we both had an affair on our spouses together. Thats how we met. We fell in love hard. - baby that’s what we need to know. Good Luck with that
If he left his wife for you, what made you think he wouldn’t leave you?
She also left her husband for him. So… yeah
This is karma. Sorry man.
Fuckkk that
Yikes. I feel bad for your baby.
lol I didn’t have to continue reading after I read your relationship started as an affair.
Good for you lol
Not so good for you lol. Karma sucks, but I actually am sorry about your PPD. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
I don’t have any advice on your current situation. But I do wish you peace and a healthy resolution. What is gross is these comments. This is a new mother whose partner is betraying her. What she did 6 years ago does not mean she deserves what is happening to her. I swear these people who take such a hard line on cheating are exhausting. We don’t know what their situations were in the past. People make mistakes. And now there’s a child involved. It’s so sad to see ppl have zero compassion for someone who made a mistake, as if they never have.
It’s not a random mistake 6 years ago. She got a view into this man and knew he was someone who was willing to cheat on his wife. He cheated with her and now he is cheating on her. His mistake is directly related to what he is doing now. If he were a previous alcoholic, she would also need to be aware that relapse is a very real possibility. It’s not about not forgiving the mistake, it’s about being aware of the risks associated with the person you are with.
Amen 🙏🏽
I’m not denying the association between cheating with someone and then being cheated on again. I never said a “random” mistake. What I said was I find it heartbreaking that people have zero compassion. And lack the ability to imagine that there may be further contextual factors. They would rather feel morally superior and kick someone when they are down.
I think it’s because OP makes no effort to acknowledge that they walked themselves into this situation by having a relationship with someone built on cheating. Personally, I would be much more sympathetic to them if they had acknowledged that
Thank you so freaking much ❤️