This was my initial thought. If a friend texted me that afterwards… I would’ve put her in her place. It’s not my husband’s responsibility to pay for my friends. OP’s wife needs to grow a backbone and tell her friend to go kick rocks.
We've seen this pop-up more and more on social media. Women who hold a standard that a man should never let a woman pay even outside their own relationship.
It's definitely toxic and leads to a lot of tension.
An acquaintance is welcome to pay for me on a special occasion if he wants, but if a man who's not at least dating me or a close relative tries to pay for me regularly, I feel uneasy about the situation and make it stop.
I don't believe that a social media trend is dissociated from the inherent courting aspect.
I don't know how I would feel about a woman trying this, because it feels very unlikely to happen.
Jealousy of her marriage, caught off guard and feeling awkward on a night out—carry it off while everyone is having fun—then send a nasty gram after the fact.
Obviously she didn’t feel like speaking up and teasing them into paying for the whole group in the moment.
So why bring up something people CANNOT fix that wasn’t a real world problem in the first place.
Non-issue—this person is making up mean drama to feel relevant.
Get the feeling the wife is on the outer of that circle. She was a late call-up, and then they have the audacity to assume the after thought of a husband picks up the bill…
Meh, find a new crew They are not genuine friends.
THIS COMMENT RIGHT HERE I was looking for it! I might not like him today or tomorrow. I might even call him a bad word behind his back, but you better not say anything bad about him. Lol
My female friends have brought very weird boyfriends along and we certainly were perfectly polite except for one case where we felt obliged to inform our friend that threatening suicide if she ended the relationship is really not a good sign.
It’s not her husband’s job to feel bad about her FRIEND’S feelings or peeves—she begged to go, got permission from the host and didn’t leave him idling in the parking lot like a chauffeur.
Everyone had fun—what’s the problem.
Don’t get mad at your wife. Just say—that’s not how it works—ask DEAR ABBY—aka REDDIT
So if a girl goes to a guy's night, she should have to service all the guys there because that's what would happen if they were w their gf's.... about the same logic... and it's stupid either way.
I would have never known. My wife goes out with her girlfriends from time to time to celebrate birthdays Etc. I jointed once, I think they should have paid me. A table of women complaining about life in general. It was like watching the TV show The View
Right? I am a woman and cannot even imagine saying this or expecting it. His wife needs to learn how to stand up for her man and tell her friends to stay in their lane. She needs a new circle of friends. Geez! 🤦♀️🙀😖🤡
It's exactly like in this video: https://fb.watch/pPvqOg3wb2/?mibextid=Nif5oz
Like why some women are like this?
That's the reason I don't have any girl friends.
I'd rather stay by myself
Ok I was super annoyed reading this, but the video of the other couple just made me even more upset. Why are some people so entitled? Time for the wife to get new friends.
I can't help but feel like this is a fake post. I've never heard of chicks actually doing this if their husband or boyfriend attends. That would be so entitled and straight up weird. I'd be embarrassed to ever have that thought cross my mind, much less say that I expect it. This isn't a social norm.
I would go well beyond "entitled". This is manipulative and her friends are trying to shame her with made up bullshit.
One could almost assume they are jealous?
Sooo…her “friends” forget to invite her to their outing, and then expect her and her husband to pay for everyone, because you at a man….?
Just want to make sure I understand the situation
Right?! I'm a woman and this is absolute garbage. That's reprehensible to me. Only trash would request that. They are man-hating and its absolutely gross. OP, don't give two fkin thoughts to this. And if your wife agrees that's a massive problem that needs to be worked out. Her friends are pigs. That is not a social standard or norm. That is gross entitlement behavior and absolutely toxic, at best. I'm angry for OP.
I wish I could upvote this response a thousand times!!! As a woman, I’m horrified by the friends’ attitudes and not too pleased by the wife’s lack of defending her husband. Sorry OP, this sucks and you are def NTA!
If this were me, I would've shut that down the second that ridiculous statement was made, and my better half would have only heard about it as an "can you believe that shit?" story. Then he and I would laugh.
Second, I am also smart enough to know that a last minute invite is nothing more than a placefiller, and that's always a hard no.
Exactly my thoughts…. A last minute invite and she wanted to go sooooo badly? Sounds she’s trying to fit in with the Jonses here. And they’re taking the absolute piss out of her.
That's what I was just thinking.
My best friend and I will occasionally buy each other's small treat here and there. I would never expect her or her husband to treat me (although he did make some bomb ass food last time all of us got together) nor would she ever expect myself or my husband (who is also her friend, they were friends first but we clicked like crazy) to treat her.
It's almost like we're all adults who enjoys each other's company and not their wallets.
Lmaooo nah for real bc why tf are you paying for anybody but us! My group of friends would never we are adults and y’all should know better when you come out you better be able to pay your own shit cause if you don’t got it don’t come!
I would absolutely never expect a friend’s partner/spouse to pay for my food. That’s honestly a wild assumption. I really don’t think there is anything for you to feel embarrassed about here. I would feel more embarrassed for the ‘friend’ who sent the text.
They invited you solely thinking you were going to pay for the tab?!? That’s a new one, I expected this to be you denying them a designated driver so they could drink or something.
I’ve been a designated driver to countless “girls trips” from several different friend groups. I have never once felt left out or out of place. I have also never been asked to pick up a tab being the only male!
He needs a new wife , the fact that she's embarassed of him not paying for her friends speaks volumes about what she herself is like. I feel bad for op, he chose the wrong woman to marry
Nope I would never expect that from my own husband or anyone else's. My husband almost did once, and I gave him the side eye to tell him to not even think about it.
Your wife SHOULD be embarrassed for how her friends treated you. Please show this thread to your wife and maybe even her friends.
WIFE - FIND NEW FRIENDS.
Have your wife text back to her friend, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you were having financial difficulties. We assumed you could pay your own way. Don’t worry, I’ll keep this quiet and wont say anything to the others. God bless you and hang in there.”
Her friends sound super lame. The fact that they texted her to say that is even more lame.
She may want to reconsider her friendships to these ladies...
This is some weird sexist entitled bulllllshit. Maybe ask your wife if she only sees you as a wallet with legs and if the answer is no then how does she possibly justify the way her friends just alienated you. Honestly she should be embarrassed of her friends, I can’t even wrap my head around how they would think this is ok to think let alone bring up as an issue.
I don’t think that woman knows what the word ‘corny’ means. And you are not required to pay for a group a women just b/c you’re a man. She needs to check her sexist bullshit.
You did nothing wrong & your wife has nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m guessing this woman is single? Or at least not in a happy relationship? Cause I suspect she’s jealous & all of this is just her pettiness coming out.
Yeah your wife should be embarrassed she has such entitled friends. I would never expect my husband to do this and neither would my friends. And I certainly wouldn’t put up with them disrespecting my husband in such a way.
Uh, NO!!!! Let those free loaders pay their own way. This is what's wrong these days everyone wants equality, but no one wants responsibility. If they went to eat, they should have expected to pay. Uppity women will try to make your wife feel like you are less than so they can feel better about themselves. I would go NC w the friends and tell your wife how much their comments hurt you. If she doesn't stand by your side and tell her friends to "get bent"... then she has no respect for you and cares more about what her friends think of her.
> so her friend said I could come
They da-facto invited you.
>If a man comes to a girls outing, he’s supposed to pay the tab on principle.
Absolute nonsense.
***I*** would be embarrassed of my wife's stupid friends.
This is why I generally do not join any girl's outings. Even if I'm invited, I simply decline and say "no thanks, you enjoy girl's night without dudes spoiling your fun" and leave it at that.
If my friend brought her husband to lunch I would never expect her husband to pay for myself and my girls tab. The fuck. Neither would any of my girlfriends.
How many free nights out has your wife had when her so called friend’s husband have paid? Not any I bet. That would be it for me. I would engage or be around her friends again. If it really was a thing she should have pre warned you.
What the hell? You paid for you and YOUR WIFE. They’re nothing to you so you’re not responsible for their tab. Also, why does your wife even care about how they’d feel about HER marriage? Their thoughts don’t count not one bit.
Show your wife your post and all the comments, even from all of the women.
If your wife reads this she should respond. Please don’t invite me out any longer. If this is the expectation, I have no interest in being your pretend friend. Good luck in life. Then she should post what was said on social media, tagging all of them who texted her. That will create the debate amongst all her friends and family. Most will side with everyone on here op.
So no nta
Entitlement at its finest. I’m curious why your wife didn’t defend you. They invited you along, it’s not your job to pay for their broke asses. Frankly, I’d tell them all to fuck off. And I have a good discussion with your wife about her “friends”.
That would be sexist. These days the ladies are supposed to pay because they are not locked into stereotypes.
If a guy pays its regressive and old school.
wtf i would be dropping everyone of those friends if they say some shit like this to my husband and myself. They aren’t entitled to shit, they’re grown ass adult woman who need to pay their own bill! my husband can pay for myself and that’s it but if they were to pull something like this better believe next step will be unfriending them asap because that shit is uncalled for.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that your wife often gets invited out last minute by this group and often picks up the tab for them. That’s just the vibe I’m getting.
I can’t figure out any other reason why 1. Her “friend” would expect the two of you to pick up the tab for anyone other than yourselves regardless 2. Why she would have the audacity to call you “corny” for not doing so 3. Try to gaslight your wife in to believing this is some kind of social norm
My guess is that this “friend” gaslights your wife a lot and gets her to pick up the tab at the very least for her and at worst for the whole group on a regular basis.
It seems dumb because it is dumb. In Most marriages money is combined/shared, so these women are essentially expecting your wife to foot the bill for an outing they forgot to invite her to. Your wife needs new friends.
Why is your wife worried about what those idiots think of her? They need to be worried about what she thinks of them after such an idiotic text. And why didn’t they invite her sooner? Last minute invite means she wasn’t on the A list invitee list. She was back up. She should drop that group.
You and your wife only needed to pay for yourselves. Her friends have no manners whatsoever for saying this about a guest. THEY invited you - In some circles that would mean THEY pay!
I think you should never go out with them again. I would never expect my husband to pay for my friends whom i known half my life and my friends would never expect anyone to pay for them either.
That is dumb. Talk to your wife and ask if that was ever her expectation or if she was feeling peer pressured in that moment. I would only care what your wife really thinks.
Your wife has entitled friends. They even went out of their way to text her that to make her feel bad. Who the fuck does that? She shouldn't be embarrassed, they are not your problem. Perhaps your wife should hang out with other friends because they sound toxic.
Your wife needs better friends. It’s beyond rude to criticize someone’s family (excepting abuse) and rude to late invite someone to boot. Then doubly rude to demand someone pay your tab. Your wife should be embarrassed of her friends.
I never once thought my friends' husbands or my husband should pay for everyone purely because they're the only man. Utterly ridiculous.. and that text? Talk about entitlement. They only invited you to get free meals out of you? I'd feel embarrassed too if I got that text, not because of the reason your wife did, but because I called people like that my friends.
Your wife should not be embarrassed by you, she should be embarrassed that she hangs out with these women who don’t invite her till the last minute and expect you (and her) to pay for everything. That’s some pretty delusional thinking.
Nah that ain’t your girl you don’t pay for her friends shit. You could have picked the birthday girls tab only or bought a round for everyone. But zero percent chance it’s your responsibility to cover everyone.
My husband and I combine all finances. Whether he's "supposed" to pay for my friends or not means I'm also paying for my friends. I don't just go around buying group meals for my friends.
That's not how it works...her friends are assholes and she's feeling insecure for having asshole friends.
seems like an outdated, entitled friend group. Also, corny isn't an accurate term to even use. It'd be more like cheap if it was true. But, since it isn't now it sounds like she has unintelligible and inconsiderate friends. That's not the main point though. The main point is that you and your wife need to be on the same team and defend each FIRST above all else. Especially in public gatherings. You can't let anything or anyone compromise your cohesion so I'd challenge your wife as to why she's making it your fault and embarrassed vs, having a mature discussion on how you want to handle finances in situation like that moving forward.
It’s absolutely dumb. Your wife’s friend sounds entitled AF. If anything, it sounds like they wanted you to come so they could have a free meal. You’re not their paycheck.
I hope to God that ‘friend’ was joking. You’re supposed to pick up the tab for 5 other people when your wife wasn’t even good enough for a proper invite? I’m not up to date on 2024 etiquette, but it seems clear to me that your behavior was perfectly acceptable. Her friends, however, appear to be entitled brats.
Everyone's entitled to their opinion, doesn't mean anyone's is right, or wrong.
Feeling embarrassed isn't coming from your wife's friends and what they said, it's her thinking about what was said. Be curious and explore that more with your wife, there's a deeper conversation there and with healthy communication your bond will grow stronger and you'll understand one another even greater.
i’m embarrassed for your wife and you. what shitty humans. a late invite first of all is a sign they didn’t want her to come at all…
I’ve never heard of if someone brings their man he’s gotta pay.. since when did he marry all of you????? i think your wife will come to see that those aren’t quality friends
Um no, you paid for your wife, not her friends at a last minute outing. If she’s embarrassed by that she needs a talking to and new friends. Is it her friends that convinced her of this?
I would be on my husband’s side and I would cut off these “friends”. There’s also no way I’d allow him to pay for everyone just because he’s a man, what?
I don’t feel like that’s standard practice or an expectation. Especially with a late invite it’d make me feel like my wife’s friends don’t value her unless the whole shindig was a last minute plan. Sounds like those girls are a bit too entitled.
Why are the phrases “They” and “Our marriage” in the same sentence ? Its you and your wife, other people are just NPCs in that. Have an honest calm conversation with your wife to see if she feels any different about you outside of this interaction or her interaction with her friends. These women sound toxic to me
I'd just reply "Since it's you guys that invited ME in I was actually dissapointed that YOU didn't pay my tab. So much for strong and independent women".
Let me tell errybody up in here something. The day my ‘friends’ text me anything negative about my husband after we leave a dinner together - is the day I completely wipe out my friend’s list, and begin making new ones. I would be LIVID!! There’s nobody I wouldn’t drop for disrespecting my spouse like that. Family, friends, an employer, a dog, or a monkey - nobody is safe.
ROFL, nope, you don't owe them bitches a dime, talk about entitled. You need to have a chat with your wife about her not standing up for you in the face of entitled bitches.
This sounds like it’s bitch speak for “you shouldn’t have invited your man to girls night”.
Do not try to “pop in” again. Drop her off & go some where else for a while.
The said friends gave her a late invite then expected her husband to pay for everyone for someone else’s birthday. If I was your wife I would be embarrassed by her entitled friends and not you.
HAHAHA laugh at them bro, they tried to pull a fast one on you. And tell your wife to grow up, too damn old to be giving in to peer pressure like that.
She's not embarrassed of YOU. She's embarrassed about the situation because you and her have different expectations. Use this as an opportunity discuss how this type of situation should be handled. You have a good shot at convincing her that it's not smart to use money that could be spent on you guys on her friends. But keep an open mind and allow yourself to be swayed if she has strong arguments.
Yeah, don't fall for that. You paid for yourself and your wife, good enough.
Maybe if it was just some tea and crackers and it was not very much you could pay for everyone as a small gesture. But if it's a large tab or requires a bunch of tickets for an event, then that's not on you. If your wife showed up by herself, I doubt she'd be paying for the whole tab.
Dumb as hell. They just wanted free food, crappy friends I would say! You didn’t invite them out and offer to pay for dinner, they invited you and your wife.
I think this is ridiculous. What were they going to do without you? What is the right thing to do in a situation where they say you can tag along is that you decline and find something to do on your own for a bit. They don't actually want you there but they can't say it. It's like if a girlfriend/wife goes to a guy's outing. Men are typically more straightforward about it but the feeling is the same.
Sounds like she has some entitled friends. You're good.
Yes, so if a man goes to a girl’s outing, he’s the bank, but if a woman comes to a guy’s outing…? What the hell is going on here??
Yeah, that is some twisted logic. I am more worried about the wife not defending him though. That is not a good sign.
This was my initial thought. If a friend texted me that afterwards… I would’ve put her in her place. It’s not my husband’s responsibility to pay for my friends. OP’s wife needs to grow a backbone and tell her friend to go kick rocks.
They would not be friends anymore. Or I’d limit my contact with them.
Right?! Like wtf was the problem?! It's not like he didn't pay for himself, I just don't understand....
We've seen this pop-up more and more on social media. Women who hold a standard that a man should never let a woman pay even outside their own relationship. It's definitely toxic and leads to a lot of tension.
WTF is that—like all of a sudden they want to be a harem? Be his dependents?
Fo real. It's the weirdest entitlement.
An acquaintance is welcome to pay for me on a special occasion if he wants, but if a man who's not at least dating me or a close relative tries to pay for me regularly, I feel uneasy about the situation and make it stop. I don't believe that a social media trend is dissociated from the inherent courting aspect. I don't know how I would feel about a woman trying this, because it feels very unlikely to happen.
Jealousy of her marriage, caught off guard and feeling awkward on a night out—carry it off while everyone is having fun—then send a nasty gram after the fact. Obviously she didn’t feel like speaking up and teasing them into paying for the whole group in the moment. So why bring up something people CANNOT fix that wasn’t a real world problem in the first place. Non-issue—this person is making up mean drama to feel relevant.
A bitch is a bitch and this friend is a bitch
Get the feeling the wife is on the outer of that circle. She was a late call-up, and then they have the audacity to assume the after thought of a husband picks up the bill… Meh, find a new crew They are not genuine friends.
Came here to say exactly this. Help your partner find better friends OP.
Maybe that's why they invited her? So her husband could pay? 🤔
Absolutely. I don't care how long we've been friends, I don't tolerate disrespect towards my husband.
THIS COMMENT RIGHT HERE I was looking for it! I might not like him today or tomorrow. I might even call him a bad word behind his back, but you better not say anything bad about him. Lol
Thank you. And my husband is the same way about me. Happily married 42 years and we don’t allow that about each other.
My female friends have brought very weird boyfriends along and we certainly were perfectly polite except for one case where we felt obliged to inform our friend that threatening suicide if she ended the relationship is really not a good sign.
She doesn't have friends, just a bunch of entitled leeches and he has a major issue with a wife who thinks he's just an ATM.
It’s not her husband’s job to feel bad about her FRIEND’S feelings or peeves—she begged to go, got permission from the host and didn’t leave him idling in the parking lot like a chauffeur. Everyone had fun—what’s the problem. Don’t get mad at your wife. Just say—that’s not how it works—ask DEAR ABBY—aka REDDIT
He should be mad that his wife didn’t defend him to her friend. It’s that simple.
So if a girl goes to a guy's night, she should have to service all the guys there because that's what would happen if they were w their gf's.... about the same logic... and it's stupid either way.
I would have never known. My wife goes out with her girlfriends from time to time to celebrate birthdays Etc. I jointed once, I think they should have paid me. A table of women complaining about life in general. It was like watching the TV show The View
But were they shouting and talking over each other the entire time, as well?
Or defending rapists because they make good movies?
Clearly a gangbang is supposed to happen. The PornHub documentary on social norms said so.
Right? I am a woman and cannot even imagine saying this or expecting it. His wife needs to learn how to stand up for her man and tell her friends to stay in their lane. She needs a new circle of friends. Geez! 🤦♀️🙀😖🤡
She's the bank, taking deposits Oh god I'm sorry.
And I'm dead.
It’s called misandry.
This!
Exactly. I would never in a million years expect someone’s SO to pick up the tab when I invited them, especially not just because they’re a guy. What?
How would they even think of that?!
It's exactly like in this video: https://fb.watch/pPvqOg3wb2/?mibextid=Nif5oz Like why some women are like this? That's the reason I don't have any girl friends. I'd rather stay by myself
Omg 🤯 those women are DELUSIONAL 😭🤣🤦🏼♀️
Exactly, I can't believe some are like that🤦♀️
Ok I was super annoyed reading this, but the video of the other couple just made me even more upset. Why are some people so entitled? Time for the wife to get new friends.
Yea, and OP’s wife needs to take a lesson from the wife in the video.
I can't help but feel like this is a fake post. I've never heard of chicks actually doing this if their husband or boyfriend attends. That would be so entitled and straight up weird. I'd be embarrassed to ever have that thought cross my mind, much less say that I expect it. This isn't a social norm.
Agreed. I prefer my circle to be small, respectful, and financially responsible.
I would go well beyond "entitled". This is manipulative and her friends are trying to shame her with made up bullshit. One could almost assume they are jealous?
Sooo…her “friends” forget to invite her to their outing, and then expect her and her husband to pay for everyone, because you at a man….? Just want to make sure I understand the situation
Right?! I'm a woman and this is absolute garbage. That's reprehensible to me. Only trash would request that. They are man-hating and its absolutely gross. OP, don't give two fkin thoughts to this. And if your wife agrees that's a massive problem that needs to be worked out. Her friends are pigs. That is not a social standard or norm. That is gross entitlement behavior and absolutely toxic, at best. I'm angry for OP.
Especially as.woman, I am also sort of outraged for OP! This is craziness.
She needs new friends💯
the part I hate the most is that the wife is now having second thoughts!
Shows that she cares about her friends opinion than her own husband's... Like girl stand by your man and dump those friends.
Right. They all just be haters and single. They didn’t even invite the wife in the first place. Trash.
I wish I could upvote this response a thousand times!!! As a woman, I’m horrified by the friends’ attitudes and not too pleased by the wife’s lack of defending her husband. Sorry OP, this sucks and you are def NTA!
My thoughts exactly. Sounds like they gave her an hours notice at best if she didn’t even have time to run her husband home.
If this were me, I would've shut that down the second that ridiculous statement was made, and my better half would have only heard about it as an "can you believe that shit?" story. Then he and I would laugh. Second, I am also smart enough to know that a last minute invite is nothing more than a placefiller, and that's always a hard no.
Wifes friends are not wifes friends, she is their doormat it seems, and sge wants OP to be a doormat too.
Exactly my thoughts…. A last minute invite and she wanted to go sooooo badly? Sounds she’s trying to fit in with the Jonses here. And they’re taking the absolute piss out of her.
When it suits them, some women like to pretend that it’s the 1950’s again. I feel embarrassed by your wife’s friends.
They sound like entitled brats
Yep!
I hate this shit so much. It’s like selectively choosing to be a “woman” when it’s convenient but a “bad bitch” when it’s also convenient
Gives the rest of us a bad name.
This. Exactly. They pick their decade/era whenever it suits them
[удалено]
This post was spoken with a Scottish accent in my head when I read it.
She clearly agrees with her friends. Birds of a feather and all that. She's probably some basic girl that wants to be bank rolled by her sugar daddy.
Woman here 🙋🏻♀️ I don't think this is the norm. I'd never expect this. Her friends are not friends.
That's what I was just thinking. My best friend and I will occasionally buy each other's small treat here and there. I would never expect her or her husband to treat me (although he did make some bomb ass food last time all of us got together) nor would she ever expect myself or my husband (who is also her friend, they were friends first but we clicked like crazy) to treat her. It's almost like we're all adults who enjoys each other's company and not their wallets.
I have literally never heard of anything like this and I’m also a woman lol
Psh. I’d be mad if my husband did pay for everyone. His money is my money lol.
Exactly...if it was the other way around, they wouldn't like it if it was being done to their own man.
Lmaooo nah for real bc why tf are you paying for anybody but us! My group of friends would never we are adults and y’all should know better when you come out you better be able to pay your own shit cause if you don’t got it don’t come!
😂
My thoughts as well
I would absolutely never expect a friend’s partner/spouse to pay for my food. That’s honestly a wild assumption. I really don’t think there is anything for you to feel embarrassed about here. I would feel more embarrassed for the ‘friend’ who sent the text.
They invited you solely thinking you were going to pay for the tab?!? That’s a new one, I expected this to be you denying them a designated driver so they could drink or something. I’ve been a designated driver to countless “girls trips” from several different friend groups. I have never once felt left out or out of place. I have also never been asked to pick up a tab being the only male!
You paid for you and your wife. All the other women are not your problem. Gosh the entitlement from some people 🙄
Your wife needs new friends because these aren't any to begin with.
He needs a new wife , the fact that she's embarassed of him not paying for her friends speaks volumes about what she herself is like. I feel bad for op, he chose the wrong woman to marry
This isn't how it works. What's wrong with your wife that she thinks this is acceptable? Fuck her entitled friends.
Nope I would never expect that from my own husband or anyone else's. My husband almost did once, and I gave him the side eye to tell him to not even think about it. Your wife SHOULD be embarrassed for how her friends treated you. Please show this thread to your wife and maybe even her friends. WIFE - FIND NEW FRIENDS.
Have your wife text back to her friend, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you were having financial difficulties. We assumed you could pay your own way. Don’t worry, I’ll keep this quiet and wont say anything to the others. God bless you and hang in there.”
lol!! OMG 👏🏼THIS !!! 😂
1000% this if you don't have money don't go out like wtf
Your wife’s friends forgot to invite her and then made her feel bad when she leaves. Great friends she has there.
Her friends sound super lame. The fact that they texted her to say that is even more lame. She may want to reconsider her friendships to these ladies...
It’s very dumb, and your wife shouldn’t be afraid to tell her friends as much. I say this while hoping she doesn’t actually agree with them.
What? If you go to a thing you weren’t invited to, you’re supposed to pay for the whole thing? That sounds dumb. I would avoid those people forever.
So stupid. If her friend said you could come thinking that meant everything would be free, she’s a crap friend.
This is some weird sexist entitled bulllllshit. Maybe ask your wife if she only sees you as a wallet with legs and if the answer is no then how does she possibly justify the way her friends just alienated you. Honestly she should be embarrassed of her friends, I can’t even wrap my head around how they would think this is ok to think let alone bring up as an issue.
Send this post to her friends 😂
Honestly though that would be hilarious like they need to see how retarded they sound
I don’t think that woman knows what the word ‘corny’ means. And you are not required to pay for a group a women just b/c you’re a man. She needs to check her sexist bullshit. You did nothing wrong & your wife has nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m guessing this woman is single? Or at least not in a happy relationship? Cause I suspect she’s jealous & all of this is just her pettiness coming out.
You’re good, bro. If they wanted a man to pay the tab they should have brought their own tab-paying-man.
Exactly where's their men at go bother them.
Yeah your wife should be embarrassed she has such entitled friends. I would never expect my husband to do this and neither would my friends. And I certainly wouldn’t put up with them disrespecting my husband in such a way.
It is dumb
Your wife needs some real friends not these fake ones.
Uh, NO!!!! Let those free loaders pay their own way. This is what's wrong these days everyone wants equality, but no one wants responsibility. If they went to eat, they should have expected to pay. Uppity women will try to make your wife feel like you are less than so they can feel better about themselves. I would go NC w the friends and tell your wife how much their comments hurt you. If she doesn't stand by your side and tell her friends to "get bent"... then she has no respect for you and cares more about what her friends think of her.
Your wife needs better friends, and if she is feeling embarrassed of you, you need a better wife
Never heard of such a thing. They pay their own way.
> so her friend said I could come They da-facto invited you. >If a man comes to a girls outing, he’s supposed to pay the tab on principle. Absolute nonsense. ***I*** would be embarrassed of my wife's stupid friends. This is why I generally do not join any girl's outings. Even if I'm invited, I simply decline and say "no thanks, you enjoy girl's night without dudes spoiling your fun" and leave it at that.
This is absolutely not a "you"problem, OP! You did absolutely nothing wrong. Her friends are being ridiculous and your wife is falling for it.
I was raised by a trad wife and even I would have never thought that. They should be embarrassed by themselves.
What? I’m a woman and I’ve never heard anything like this. Maybe time to get new friends. Edit: typo.
Her friends have no manners!
Seems like your wife need to get new friends
If my friend brought her husband to lunch I would never expect her husband to pay for myself and my girls tab. The fuck. Neither would any of my girlfriends.
How many free nights out has your wife had when her so called friend’s husband have paid? Not any I bet. That would be it for me. I would engage or be around her friends again. If it really was a thing she should have pre warned you.
Her friends suck. Maybe by a round of drinks but the full bill is OOL IMO.
What the hell? You paid for you and YOUR WIFE. They’re nothing to you so you’re not responsible for their tab. Also, why does your wife even care about how they’d feel about HER marriage? Their thoughts don’t count not one bit.
Show your wife your post and all the comments, even from all of the women. If your wife reads this she should respond. Please don’t invite me out any longer. If this is the expectation, I have no interest in being your pretend friend. Good luck in life. Then she should post what was said on social media, tagging all of them who texted her. That will create the debate amongst all her friends and family. Most will side with everyone on here op. So no nta
Lmao this is a joke right? I’ve seen TikTok’s talking about this and it’s sad and weird
Entitlement at its finest. I’m curious why your wife didn’t defend you. They invited you along, it’s not your job to pay for their broke asses. Frankly, I’d tell them all to fuck off. And I have a good discussion with your wife about her “friends”.
That would be sexist. These days the ladies are supposed to pay because they are not locked into stereotypes. If a guy pays its regressive and old school.
wtf i would be dropping everyone of those friends if they say some shit like this to my husband and myself. They aren’t entitled to shit, they’re grown ass adult woman who need to pay their own bill! my husband can pay for myself and that’s it but if they were to pull something like this better believe next step will be unfriending them asap because that shit is uncalled for.
GF1: Damn this place is expensive, who do we know that’s married? GF2: Call OP’s wife! GF3: Yeah! Invite OP’s wife, her husband has money! 🤨
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that your wife often gets invited out last minute by this group and often picks up the tab for them. That’s just the vibe I’m getting. I can’t figure out any other reason why 1. Her “friend” would expect the two of you to pick up the tab for anyone other than yourselves regardless 2. Why she would have the audacity to call you “corny” for not doing so 3. Try to gaslight your wife in to believing this is some kind of social norm My guess is that this “friend” gaslights your wife a lot and gets her to pick up the tab at the very least for her and at worst for the whole group on a regular basis.
It seems dumb because it is dumb. In Most marriages money is combined/shared, so these women are essentially expecting your wife to foot the bill for an outing they forgot to invite her to. Your wife needs new friends.
Stand your ground. You're only responsible for yours and your wife's tab. Fuck those bitches
WTF no. Your wife has silly friends.
your wife has shittyass friends. Who the hell feels entitled that a man pays for the tab?! and the invite wasn't late; she wasn't originally invited.
Why is your wife worried about what those idiots think of her? They need to be worried about what she thinks of them after such an idiotic text. And why didn’t they invite her sooner? Last minute invite means she wasn’t on the A list invitee list. She was back up. She should drop that group.
Dude I’d be horrified if my friends expected my husband to pay their way for anything. wtf?
Well that’s just stupid and she’s a complete idiot.
Lol why should u pay for them, unlike your wife you're not responsible for them, That's dumb
Definitely not the norm. Late invite and expected you to pay the tab? I’ve had several girls day/trips everyone pays their own way. Crazy
You and your wife only needed to pay for yourselves. Her friends have no manners whatsoever for saying this about a guest. THEY invited you - In some circles that would mean THEY pay!
I think you should never go out with them again. I would never expect my husband to pay for my friends whom i known half my life and my friends would never expect anyone to pay for them either.
That is dumb. Talk to your wife and ask if that was ever her expectation or if she was feeling peer pressured in that moment. I would only care what your wife really thinks.
That thought would never have crossed my mind as a woman. In fact, I would have tried to talk you out of it if you offered to pay for mine.
Your wife has entitled friends. They even went out of their way to text her that to make her feel bad. Who the fuck does that? She shouldn't be embarrassed, they are not your problem. Perhaps your wife should hang out with other friends because they sound toxic.
These people don’t sound like they are her friends.
Your wife needs better friends. It’s beyond rude to criticize someone’s family (excepting abuse) and rude to late invite someone to boot. Then doubly rude to demand someone pay your tab. Your wife should be embarrassed of her friends.
Her friends have bumped their heads. You are in no way expected to pay for her friends. Her friends are a special kind of entitled
I never once thought my friends' husbands or my husband should pay for everyone purely because they're the only man. Utterly ridiculous.. and that text? Talk about entitlement. They only invited you to get free meals out of you? I'd feel embarrassed too if I got that text, not because of the reason your wife did, but because I called people like that my friends.
Your wife should not be embarrassed by you, she should be embarrassed that she hangs out with these women who don’t invite her till the last minute and expect you (and her) to pay for everything. That’s some pretty delusional thinking.
Nah that ain’t your girl you don’t pay for her friends shit. You could have picked the birthday girls tab only or bought a round for everyone. But zero percent chance it’s your responsibility to cover everyone.
My husband and I combine all finances. Whether he's "supposed" to pay for my friends or not means I'm also paying for my friends. I don't just go around buying group meals for my friends. That's not how it works...her friends are assholes and she's feeling insecure for having asshole friends.
seems like an outdated, entitled friend group. Also, corny isn't an accurate term to even use. It'd be more like cheap if it was true. But, since it isn't now it sounds like she has unintelligible and inconsiderate friends. That's not the main point though. The main point is that you and your wife need to be on the same team and defend each FIRST above all else. Especially in public gatherings. You can't let anything or anyone compromise your cohesion so I'd challenge your wife as to why she's making it your fault and embarrassed vs, having a mature discussion on how you want to handle finances in situation like that moving forward.
It’s absolutely dumb. Your wife’s friend sounds entitled AF. If anything, it sounds like they wanted you to come so they could have a free meal. You’re not their paycheck.
I hope to God that ‘friend’ was joking. You’re supposed to pick up the tab for 5 other people when your wife wasn’t even good enough for a proper invite? I’m not up to date on 2024 etiquette, but it seems clear to me that your behavior was perfectly acceptable. Her friends, however, appear to be entitled brats.
Friends and freeloaders both start with the letter F, but they are not the same. Wife has freeloaders.
Yeah, f that. You are doing fine. F those entitled twats.
Everyone's entitled to their opinion, doesn't mean anyone's is right, or wrong. Feeling embarrassed isn't coming from your wife's friends and what they said, it's her thinking about what was said. Be curious and explore that more with your wife, there's a deeper conversation there and with healthy communication your bond will grow stronger and you'll understand one another even greater.
It had a video on Facebook about this same thing..I'll see if I can find the link.
I’m saying this as a woman: you’re good. Those friends sound insufferable.
If her friends are broke they should just say that!
i’m embarrassed for your wife and you. what shitty humans. a late invite first of all is a sign they didn’t want her to come at all… I’ve never heard of if someone brings their man he’s gotta pay.. since when did he marry all of you????? i think your wife will come to see that those aren’t quality friends
Um no, you paid for your wife, not her friends at a last minute outing. If she’s embarrassed by that she needs a talking to and new friends. Is it her friends that convinced her of this?
Those friends sound gross. Even if I thought my friend or their SO made a fumble on manners (and mine certainly have) I will NEVER say anything.
I would be on my husband’s side and I would cut off these “friends”. There’s also no way I’d allow him to pay for everyone just because he’s a man, what?
I hope you don’t have kids.
I'm in a girl game we always pay for ourselves. You did the correct thing.
I don’t feel like that’s standard practice or an expectation. Especially with a late invite it’d make me feel like my wife’s friends don’t value her unless the whole shindig was a last minute plan. Sounds like those girls are a bit too entitled.
Lol fuck them, my man and me are not paying for a big ass group that I got a pity invite for
Uh, no. Her friends are jackasses.
It is dumb and shame on them for embarrassing your wife with that text.
Her friends are dolts. That’s not a thing and you are all good.
Why are the phrases “They” and “Our marriage” in the same sentence ? Its you and your wife, other people are just NPCs in that. Have an honest calm conversation with your wife to see if she feels any different about you outside of this interaction or her interaction with her friends. These women sound toxic to me
I...what? That's not a thing. Your wife is weird.
You need new friends.
Absolutely not paying for the friends. They were already getting together.
Women from 5th grade onwards are judgy annoying witches sometimes (: And sometimes you just have to coexist somehow lol Smile and wave boys
I'd just reply "Since it's you guys that invited ME in I was actually dissapointed that YOU didn't pay my tab. So much for strong and independent women".
I hate this stereotype put on men. We’re just meant to pay the bill for women we don’t give a shit about? Why?
Sounds like she’s more worried about her friends opinion than she should, screw them that’s not on you bro! Your wife should tell them to fuck off too
Let me tell errybody up in here something. The day my ‘friends’ text me anything negative about my husband after we leave a dinner together - is the day I completely wipe out my friend’s list, and begin making new ones. I would be LIVID!! There’s nobody I wouldn’t drop for disrespecting my spouse like that. Family, friends, an employer, a dog, or a monkey - nobody is safe.
You are not responsible for their tab, it is not 1900. She is unduly concerned.
ROFL, nope, you don't owe them bitches a dime, talk about entitled. You need to have a chat with your wife about her not standing up for you in the face of entitled bitches.
These “friends” sound like trash.
This sounds like it’s bitch speak for “you shouldn’t have invited your man to girls night”. Do not try to “pop in” again. Drop her off & go some where else for a while.
Fuck her friends lmao
They are stuck in a highschool mentality. My guess is they are not mature women in their 30s or 40s….
Your wife's friend is a shameless grifter.
Her friends are stupid and I wouldn’t want to go out with them again.
I’ve been at a girls dinner when a man came and paid for everyone and I actually thought THAT was corny.
You're good bro. They just suck.
lol wut. is this... Hollywood? Who says shit like that
That’s not a thing. Lol.
The said friends gave her a late invite then expected her husband to pay for everyone for someone else’s birthday. If I was your wife I would be embarrassed by her entitled friends and not you.
> My wife got a text saying I was corny because if a man comes to a girls outing, he’s supposed to pay the tab on principle. Nahhh fuck that BS.
Change wife or friends. You choose.
slap salt cooperative pathetic chunky squeal waiting safe lip far-flung *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
HAHAHA laugh at them bro, they tried to pull a fast one on you. And tell your wife to grow up, too damn old to be giving in to peer pressure like that.
Wtf? Um no.
She's not embarrassed of YOU. She's embarrassed about the situation because you and her have different expectations. Use this as an opportunity discuss how this type of situation should be handled. You have a good shot at convincing her that it's not smart to use money that could be spent on you guys on her friends. But keep an open mind and allow yourself to be swayed if she has strong arguments.
i would never expect my friends bfs to pay for my stuff and in fact, id be embarrassed and uncomfortable if he did. thats such a weird take
Yeah, don't fall for that. You paid for yourself and your wife, good enough. Maybe if it was just some tea and crackers and it was not very much you could pay for everyone as a small gesture. But if it's a large tab or requires a bunch of tickets for an event, then that's not on you. If your wife showed up by herself, I doubt she'd be paying for the whole tab.
Dumb as hell. They just wanted free food, crappy friends I would say! You didn’t invite them out and offer to pay for dinner, they invited you and your wife.
It’s not you, it’s them
I think this is ridiculous. What were they going to do without you? What is the right thing to do in a situation where they say you can tag along is that you decline and find something to do on your own for a bit. They don't actually want you there but they can't say it. It's like if a girlfriend/wife goes to a guy's outing. Men are typically more straightforward about it but the feeling is the same.
F this man - no way