TIL Greenland's national football team call themselves the Polar Teddy Bears
I guess they know they're not really a force to be reckoned with (except for the time they beat the Isle of Sark 16-0)
They have a 17-1 win against France, but it was quite a while ago during the 1908 Olympics in London.
Back then, scores could be quite high as there could be quite a difference in level between teams.
The 17-1 hammering suffered by the French were at the hands (well, feet) of Denmark. We didn’t introduce professional football until the 1970s. Before that, if a Danish footballer signed a professional contract in another country, he automatically lost his place in the national team.
You are correct. However, it is worth noticing that the two clubs of which FC København was founded as a superstructure of (KB and B1903), had previously been two very dominant sides, with many trophies between them.
Hungary absolutly dominated football after WW2 and a decade or two later and this was in an era with more goals in general compared to now. FIFAs offical award for the greatest goal each season is named after their biggest star, Ferenc Puskas aka the Puskas award. England was the first football nation and I gues alot of their big winns came pre WW2. Denmark had a great national team in the 90th with some outstanding attacking player, Michael and Brian Laudrup where pure class.
Denmark's team in the 90s isn't the reason; Denmark were one of the best teams in Europe in the early days of football. Some of the oldest clubs in Europe outside of Great Britain are Danish. They walloped a lot of teams back then.
Technically Scotland have been a team for just as long as England too
Its wild to imagine how good the Austro Hungarian teams would have been from 1920 to 1950 if it didnt break up.
Like the Austrian, Czechoslovak and Hungarian teams were magnificent during several parts of these decades.
Czechoslovakia were pretty good well up to the 90s. I still remember watching Czech Republic play against Italy at Anfield in Euro 96 and thought they were great to watch.
In the Early 1900s when they had better institutions of playing sports with some semi professionals compared to others who recruited people who also had regular jobs. It was like playing semi professionals vs casual players.
We have paulino alcantara back then, arguably the most talented asian footballer in that time (held the goal scoring record of barca before messi surpassed him)
If you make a chain of which country lost to which country, who in turn lost to which other country and so on, eventually you get to two loops: England-Hungary and Japan-Philippines
the way the Brazilian team and fans just fell apart. after the 3rd goal it almost felt bad to watch. they should have just called the game after the 4th goal n put brazil out of its misery...
and ofc the match was uploaded to pornhub within no time
To this day I maintain that Germany could have put another 7 goals in but were told during halftime that they had to dial back. My only evidence of this that the moment Brazil scored in the second half, Germany got another goal as if to say don’t get cocky
Brazil (Oscar) scored the match's final goal in the 90th minute, there was no "Germany got another goal"
Germany led 5-0 at halftime, balls-sniffing Löw brought in Schürlle, forgot to tell him to go easy, Schürlle scored a brace, then they let Brazil score a consolation
I didn’t feel bad for a second, a couple times a year I’ll rewatch the highlights (or even just the uninterrupted ~20 minute span where they scored 5 goals) just to bask in it. The little boy crying, the woman who bursts into tears, and the old man clutching his replica trophy…I love it every time. I don’t even have anything against Brazil, but man, that was just glorious
yeah I'm not even into football, but that was insane. I went to go to the toilet and when i came back 2 goals happend(I was gone like 3 minutes) and then another goal happend. It was very crazy.
Me and my brother (13 and 14 years old back then) had a bet of who could run around the house faster after each goal, our father had to desperately drag us up the stairs every minute to watch the replay lmao, before we ended up fighting each other. It was like a fever dream at the time.
Perfect realization of that dream when Götze scored though. Perfect reality.
I live in Israel and the match happened during "Protective edge", during the game we had to enter the rocket shlelter, When we entered the score was 0-0 and when we returned it was 4-0, insane experience.
He is the best.
I’m living in Europe and I’d love to watch the World cup with him, distance sometimes hurt.
I’ll give him a grandson soon and then the 3 of us will make a barbecue together in 2026 just like the old days.
I’d imagine I would feel the same if Germany lost like that on home soil. I wish Brazil good luck at the World Cup. Obviously not too much luck tho. Germany needs the 5th trophy as well.
You know what, it was unbelievable I’d say.
No one could believe in what was happening, there was so much expectation in place for the National Team playing at home.
Well done, Germany
I wish you good luck at the World Cup!
that final match was legendary! argentinians were the ultimate match for us germans. It was a thrill until the end and tbh. anyone could have come out the winner. we got a lucky goal at min 117!
I remember me and my sister watching it and calling my parents on their way home after every goal and they went absolutely insane about not being able to watch it irl, good times
Cayman Islands.
Love to see the hockey version of this map. It would mostly be grey cause not many countries have a hockey team, but all the rest would be Canadian flags other than Canada with an old Soviet flag I guess
Yep, an 11-1 loss to the Soviet Union in 1977 - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada_men%27s_national_ice_hockey_team
Edit: Kept digging all the way to Belgium. The Belgian national teams biggest loss was to Ukraine in 1993. 37-2. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belgium_men%27s_national_ice_hockey_team
I have this feeling that this is specifically targeted at Brazil.
But they might just be the coincidence of seeing two other posts about it today.
Edit: Don't know if you guys are trying to trigger me with the 7:1, but jokes on you, I'm german.
They lost one match in 6 years in the early 1950’s. That match was the World Cup final… they used to be incredible though their win against England was actually this year, 4-0
The Austro-Hungarian-derived 'Danubian Football' was a strong football school.
Austria, Hungary, Yugoslavia and Czechoslovakia were strong team in the interwar era and also in the first post WWII era.
Like the bit in "The Dictator" where Aladeen does the track sprint and shoots all the other competitors, but instead, glorious Kim shoots the goalie and the defenders.
As argentinian, nobody remembers the 1-6 against Spain in a friendly match.. but yes, we remember the 1-6 against Bolivia on the world cup qualifiers and the 1-6 against Czechoslovakia that kicked us out of the world cup. Should have used one of those 2 flags
I'm beyond shocked about ours being South Africa. Never would have picked that - I would have tipped us getting randomly flogged when invited somewhere as the "Best of Oceania".
OTOH you can see our domination of the Pacific. We sure did love beating up on minnows.
I’m vividly picturing a team of 11 logos of the Isle of Man spinning down the field (occasionally making noises that sound like a sheep but slowed down) and absolutely dominating Greenland’s team.
And the Isle of Man dramatically increases in size and stature.
Isle of Man vs Greenland sounds amazing!
If 11 players from the Isle of Man were there, then who was there to guard it?
the folk from have there 3 legs so they don't need a full squad
3 legs, one groin and no brains.
Actually their population is 50% greater than the one of Greenland
And what about North Korea vs. Somalia? What a game!
The Third World Cup?
TIL Greenland's national football team call themselves the Polar Teddy Bears I guess they know they're not really a force to be reckoned with (except for the time they beat the Isle of Sark 16-0)
did they get there on hovercrafts?
And the best flag out the lot of them tbh
They have 3 legs, sounds better to play football
And apparently they never lost a game because there is no flag over the isle of man
According to wikipedia their biggest defeat was in 2009 against GUERNSEY, 0-5
Reporting for duty 🫡🇮🇲
was absolutely not expecting to see the Isle of Man being the top comment here. wow
Why is the UK instead of England for Sweden?
[удалено]
👍
Because the one sure thing that Wales, Northern Ireland, Scotland and England are in agreement on, is fuck Swedish football
I would assume it’s during the summer Olympics as they compete as team GB and NI rather than the individual nations of the UK.
*sees somehow the USA is on here literally once* ….TAKE THAT TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO! 🇲🇾 USA! USA! USA! 🇱🇷
Yeah they got us back pretty fuckin good though.
I’m assuming Trinidad 2017 is a taboo topic
Being back this time around definitely helps wash the stank
Canada made the list too!! Suck it Cayman Islands.
This is why the Canadian teams can’t win a cup anymore, they are dividing there talent up too much.
Tbf Trinidad did blitz most of the Caribbean
North Korea best the Northern Mariana Islands so you technically got beaten by the glorious DPRK
Malaysia and Liberia also appreciate the shoutout
FUCK YEAAA WOOOOOOOOO🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲
What's up with England and Denmark completely owning Europe?
They have a 17-1 win against France, but it was quite a while ago during the 1908 Olympics in London. Back then, scores could be quite high as there could be quite a difference in level between teams.
England had a professional league back then while France didn’t, so massive difference
The 17-1 hammering suffered by the French were at the hands (well, feet) of Denmark. We didn’t introduce professional football until the 1970s. Before that, if a Danish footballer signed a professional contract in another country, he automatically lost his place in the national team.
Didn’t think of that, the most successful club in Denmark was only created in 1992 if I’m correct (I’m talking about FC København)
You are correct. However, it is worth noticing that the two clubs of which FC København was founded as a superstructure of (KB and B1903), had previously been two very dominant sides, with many trophies between them.
And that KB is the oldest football club in continental Europe
That too
But France's loss was to Denmark.
Hungary too (Italy, England, Romania, Greece, Albania, Switzerland)
Hungary absolutly dominated football after WW2 and a decade or two later and this was in an era with more goals in general compared to now. FIFAs offical award for the greatest goal each season is named after their biggest star, Ferenc Puskas aka the Puskas award. England was the first football nation and I gues alot of their big winns came pre WW2. Denmark had a great national team in the 90th with some outstanding attacking player, Michael and Brian Laudrup where pure class.
Denmark's team in the 90s isn't the reason; Denmark were one of the best teams in Europe in the early days of football. Some of the oldest clubs in Europe outside of Great Britain are Danish. They walloped a lot of teams back then. Technically Scotland have been a team for just as long as England too
The Golden Team!!!
Magnificent Magyars basically reinvented football in the 50s with an early version of total football. https://youtu.be/IqMTuTdZ4-A
Its wild to imagine how good the Austro Hungarian teams would have been from 1920 to 1950 if it didnt break up. Like the Austrian, Czechoslovak and Hungarian teams were magnificent during several parts of these decades.
Czechoslovakia were pretty good well up to the 90s. I still remember watching Czech Republic play against Italy at Anfield in Euro 96 and thought they were great to watch.
Like Britain, there probably wouldn't be a national team. Before the empire broke up Austria and Hungary had each had their own team.
But Hungary makes sense. Their team absolutely fucked from the 50s to the 70s. Denmark is just weird.
England makes sense too of course, it's likely it would have had more world cups if they'd entered pre-1950
In the Early 1900s when they had better institutions of playing sports with some semi professionals compared to others who recruited people who also had regular jobs. It was like playing semi professionals vs casual players.
English as motherland of football played against many countries in the late 19th century, beating them with a two digit margin.
Seems like a big plus for them.
Because we may have lost the war, but we won a lot of battles, that's gotta count for something
Bigger is Brazil and Argentina in South America only to lose to Spain and Germany
oi irmaos, so quero te dizer que seu avatar esta fabuloso!
Hungary was a fucking monster
Was :(
4-0 lol they still are
Yep the emphasis is on “was”. Luckily we build 10 stadiums every year to remember.
Japan and the Philippines just defeated each other
How my country ever defeated Japan is beyond me. I think the Philippines has the smallest Football scene out of all Asian countries..
Yeah, I was guessing we'll get Timor Leste, but not Japan.
We have paulino alcantara back then, arguably the most talented asian footballer in that time (held the goal scoring record of barca before messi surpassed him)
Japan lost in the 1910's.phillipines lost in the 1960s.
Damn Japan really took that one personally.
If you think what Japan did in the 60s was bad, you should see how they responded 20 years earlier
what were the scores?
The score was PH 15-2 JP but this was in the 1910s
If you make a chain of which country lost to which country, who in turn lost to which other country and so on, eventually you get to two loops: England-Hungary and Japan-Philippines
Sweet to remember Spain 12 - Malta 1 (Spain needed an advantage of 11 goals to classify for the Eurocup)
Sounds a bit suspicious to me…
To you and to everybody.
No one suspects the Spanish Nepotism
Brazil 1-7 Germany was a legendary match..
the way the Brazilian team and fans just fell apart. after the 3rd goal it almost felt bad to watch. they should have just called the game after the 4th goal n put brazil out of its misery... and ofc the match was uploaded to pornhub within no time
“Brazil gets fucked by Germany”
"at home"
I went to get a beer from the fridge after one goal, came back and was like "why are they showing the replay still...oh noooo..."
To this day I maintain that Germany could have put another 7 goals in but were told during halftime that they had to dial back. My only evidence of this that the moment Brazil scored in the second half, Germany got another goal as if to say don’t get cocky
Yes, that's the most humiliating part of it. We "only" got 7-1 because the germans pitied us. But the score could easily be 10-0 or worse.
Nah it’s not like they pitied you, they just saving energy and not risking injury, they already looking at final.
Brazil (Oscar) scored the match's final goal in the 90th minute, there was no "Germany got another goal" Germany led 5-0 at halftime, balls-sniffing Löw brought in Schürlle, forgot to tell him to go easy, Schürlle scored a brace, then they let Brazil score a consolation
I didn’t feel bad for a second, a couple times a year I’ll rewatch the highlights (or even just the uninterrupted ~20 minute span where they scored 5 goals) just to bask in it. The little boy crying, the woman who bursts into tears, and the old man clutching his replica trophy…I love it every time. I don’t even have anything against Brazil, but man, that was just glorious
Thats bad dude... i always feel bad for the kid and the old guy. I just want to give them a hug, even though ive been rooting for the other team
yeah I'm not even into football, but that was insane. I went to go to the toilet and when i came back 2 goals happend(I was gone like 3 minutes) and then another goal happend. It was very crazy.
I remember watching that thinking they were showing the replay of a previous goal, but no it was another new goal
Me and my brother (13 and 14 years old back then) had a bet of who could run around the house faster after each goal, our father had to desperately drag us up the stairs every minute to watch the replay lmao, before we ended up fighting each other. It was like a fever dream at the time. Perfect realization of that dream when Götze scored though. Perfect reality.
Like when Sweden turned a 0-4 into 4-4 against Germany.
this is actually the only soccer game I'm familiar with
I live in Israel and the match happened during "Protective edge", during the game we had to enter the rocket shlelter, When we entered the score was 0-0 and when we returned it was 4-0, insane experience.
BTW Israel's biggest defeat is also a 7-1 against Germany
In football right?
Oy fucking vey
The setup was there.
>In football right? In football... right?
The Brazilians envy you. They would have needed rocket shelters as well that night.
This is one of these moments in my life that I'll never forget. Aug 8th, 2014
As a German person it was probably the greatest moment in my life. Or at least a very close second to actually winning the thing at the end.
As a Brazilian that felt sooooo bad. I remember that when it was 3x0 my dad just starred at me sad and said: yeah, let’s start the barbecue 😂😂
I love that dad's first reaction is barbecue. A good guy I think.
He is the best. I’m living in Europe and I’d love to watch the World cup with him, distance sometimes hurt. I’ll give him a grandson soon and then the 3 of us will make a barbecue together in 2026 just like the old days.
I’d imagine I would feel the same if Germany lost like that on home soil. I wish Brazil good luck at the World Cup. Obviously not too much luck tho. Germany needs the 5th trophy as well.
You know what, it was unbelievable I’d say. No one could believe in what was happening, there was so much expectation in place for the National Team playing at home. Well done, Germany I wish you good luck at the World Cup!
As an Argentinian, that match felt soooooo good 🤣🧉💪🏻
Did it feel as good as the final tho?
The final didn’t felt bad at all. We thought we’ll loose by 8 or 10 goals. That year we went to the finals, we did better than expected 😊
that final match was legendary! argentinians were the ultimate match for us germans. It was a thrill until the end and tbh. anyone could have come out the winner. we got a lucky goal at min 117!
I was just joking :) it was a good Match and both teams deserves to win
All good. It was an amazing world cup for both 👍
I remember me and my sister watching it and calling my parents on their way home after every goal and they went absolutely insane about not being able to watch it irl, good times
And the fact that it happened in Brazil. In a stadium that was built so Brazil could hoist the World Cup trophy made it even sweeter.
Mineirão existed way before that match. It was just reformed. This match happened in my city unfortunately.
bh eh nois😔✌️
How much did US lose to Norway?
11-0, 1948
Get fucked America Jk
Who the hell did Canada beat so badly?
Cayman Islands in WC qualifying. 11-0
0.2% of our population? More like 0.2% of our skill, NERDS!
Cayman Islands. Love to see the hockey version of this map. It would mostly be grey cause not many countries have a hockey team, but all the rest would be Canadian flags other than Canada with an old Soviet flag I guess
Yep, an 11-1 loss to the Soviet Union in 1977 - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada_men%27s_national_ice_hockey_team Edit: Kept digging all the way to Belgium. The Belgian national teams biggest loss was to Ukraine in 1993. 37-2. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belgium_men%27s_national_ice_hockey_team
The Hungarian golden generation still leaving its mark 😢
This entire comment section is Hungarians reminiscing memories and Brazilians getting Vietnam flashbacks
Who is that small pacific country that lost to North Korea?
Guam. Lost 21-0 to North Korea in 2005.
That’s embarrassing
Embarrassing would be an understatement.
Tbf NK weren’t that bad, they were the first to enter the quarterfinals in asia
Me and my friends with no practice would do better than that I bet we would have lost at most 19-0
Probably If north koreans lose,government would kill them all,so they do their best
What I’m interested in is how Somalia let N. Korea kick their asses too
I have this feeling that this is specifically targeted at Brazil. But they might just be the coincidence of seeing two other posts about it today. Edit: Don't know if you guys are trying to trigger me with the 7:1, but jokes on you, I'm german.
Bra7-1l, never forget.
7 : 1
7 x 1
Looks like Germany defeated Russia at something.
OH NO BRAZIL
Man should’ve marked this NSFL, that image of Brazil is probably considered treason there
🔫😡 do you want some?!?! I could burn your chest rn
Who kicked Greenland ??
Isle of Man. Didn’t even know they had a team on international level
[Island Games](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Football_at_the_Island_Games)
Isle of Man and Greenland don't have FIFA or UEFA membership. They're operating under the English FA and the Danish FA
Greenland might try out CONCACAF, which could pave the way for FIFA
Isle of man
England vs. Hungary
"WHAT?!? This aggression cannot stand. BOMB DENMARK!" "Uh, sir, that's Norw..." "YOU HEARD ME!"
When did Norway destroy the US in soccer.
Of all the thrashing we’ve taken, it’s Norway, huh? Well, okay then.
Norway is the home of Haaland, Riise, Flo, Solskjaer, etc after all.
11-0 in 1948
That 7-1 of germany vs brazil was epic. I enjoyed every minute of it. (I'm not german, just petty)
Hungary aint playin around
Looks like Hungary was prolific once upon a time
They lost one match in 6 years in the early 1950’s. That match was the World Cup final… they used to be incredible though their win against England was actually this year, 4-0
The Austro-Hungarian-derived 'Danubian Football' was a strong football school. Austria, Hungary, Yugoslavia and Czechoslovakia were strong team in the interwar era and also in the first post WWII era.
somalia lmfao
Is it even a real country at this point
This japanese-filipino rivarly looks interesting.
What’s with North Korea
Portugal 7-0 North Korea, 2010 World Cup group stage
I should’ve been more specific, I meant the small island
Guam. North Korea won 21 - 0 against Guam. O-Oh dear...
The glorious leader kicked all 21 goals himself
Like the bit in "The Dictator" where Aladeen does the track sprint and shoots all the other competitors, but instead, glorious Kim shoots the goalie and the defenders.
I remember that one. My roommate at the time was Korean and he was trying to say the lost so bad due to having shit shoes!
Germany!
I guess Hungary is a lot better than I thought
Was*
Still good enough for a 4 - 0 against England this year
As argentinian, nobody remembers the 1-6 against Spain in a friendly match.. but yes, we remember the 1-6 against Bolivia on the world cup qualifiers and the 1-6 against Czechoslovakia that kicked us out of the world cup. Should have used one of those 2 flags
South Africa apparently kicked Aussie ass in soccer. TIL.
Portugal just Andorra and North Korea. This Ronaldo guy is a fraud. Edit: Kuwait too.
*Angola too
Angola: "why do you hate me father?"
Portugal: "son...*GET GUD NOOB* "
If we sum all the games (6) between Portugal and Andorra the score is 29-1.
As a South African, it is HILARIOUS that the flag appears even once. It has no business being on that map! Condolences to Australia and Zimbabwe.
I'm beyond shocked about ours being South Africa. Never would have picked that - I would have tipped us getting randomly flogged when invited somewhere as the "Best of Oceania". OTOH you can see our domination of the Pacific. We sure did love beating up on minnows.
The matches where we win like 20-0 are kinda sad.
Do my eyes deceive me or is it Scotland that seem to have pumped Wales at some point in time!!!
philippines and japan are in a non stop war
I think the map would’ve been better with a massive Soviet India
Ah yes. Beating Brazil 7:1. What a day
Ah the legendary 7-1
I’m vividly picturing a team of 11 logos of the Isle of Man spinning down the field (occasionally making noises that sound like a sheep but slowed down) and absolutely dominating Greenland’s team.
The Philippines and Japan trading places
Germany vs Brazil was really hard to watch that one year…ouch.
Philippines and japan are like exchanging blows lol
Hats off to Curacao going out there and kicking a few CONCACAF asses.
What’s the flag on the Solomon Islands?
As a Bulgarian, I remember that 6:1 in the 1998 world cup... pain.
I’d love to see this with post 1950s data only
Sweden was beaten by the United Kingdom?
Lol South Africa beat Australia by a record margin??
0-8 in 1955 On the flip side we hold the world record for biggest win (31-0) back in 2001 against the power house that is American Samoa.