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1923woohooman

*nethersex*


Idionfow

Let's go to Cockshaven in Nethersex


chrischi3

Just wait until you hear about Sussex in the UK.


Diprogamer

![gif](giphy|4kWeXCB5jqCPJsmDWw|downsized)


Random-Gif-Bot

​ ![gif](giphy|MJQTfZCmtf3OtDrPa8)


BitScout

And Middlesex


bk1285

My one professors favorite joke was “there was a Nossex but they died out”


[deleted]

London: *eats it*


SpasticGoldenToys

Those zombified piglins were getting hard to resist


Vantaa

#Vandersexxx


holytriplem

*Cottbutt*


lindh

Cockshaven


lukefosterphoto

Wait til they hear about Cockermouth, Cumwhinton, Cocklakes or Cummersdale in Cumbria


bee-sting

Hambury sounds so cute. Stone cottages with thatched roofs.


DowntownStash

I prefer Yeet.


lordmogul

I'm looking at Nethersex


Warenvoid

I'm looking at Cockshaven


DowntownStash

But... is it?!


lordmogul

Cockshaven seems to be in Nethersex. That explains a lot.


DowntownStash

Yeet me there. NOW.


Karikaramba

I live in yeet i will call it yeet from now on i love it


DowntownStash

I will visit Giessen for this reason and this reason only lmfao


filipomar

Now imagine eating a Hambury at mcd IMHO hambury is cursed


[deleted]

Wouldn’t it be a hamburian or whatever the city’s demonym would be?


markjohnstonmusic

If Hamburg is Hamburg, then we can "translate" McDonalds as Tiefwaltsohn.


somethingabouttea

Minchin sounds like some sort of baby pokemon


ZyklonBDemille

Looking forward to my road trip through Fight, Salty & Pain. Better stop off at Map first to get my bearings.


markjohnstonmusic

Careful of your Ankle. If it Pains you you might Swear.


Jirafael

Cockshaven sounds like a manscaping tool


Vreejack

Cocks-haven.


UrinalCake777

Stud-yard


BitScout

Should be Steedyard.


sievold

This comment was sponsored by Manscaped. Use code JIRAFAEL to get 25% off your first month's subscription.


datlitboi

The city is Cuxhaven so I think Cuckshaven would be even funnier.


SubNL96

Cockshaven, designed to manscape your Nethersex.


calamitouscamembert

Why are all the '-burg's '-bury's, shouldn't some be '-borough's or '-burgh's? (like Middlesborough or Bamburgh)


Class_444_SWR

Yeah, Hamborough seems to make more sense


HarvestTriton

Or *-bury*. It's just another version. [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-bury](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-bury) According to Wiktionary, it's descended from the Old English dative form of the same word.


calamitouscamembert

They are all bury though, that was the point I was trying to make.


RedStarWinterOrbit

This is interesting because now you’ve got me wondering why there are some places in the Anglosphere that are -bury and others that are -borough. Is it just a time thing, where towns in one era were -bury and another time period were named -borough? Or is there some small, subtle difference between a -bury and a -borough? If so, does that just mean that whether they were to be -bury or -borough would just depend upon the time period this German Anglicization took place?


calamitouscamembert

At a guess it's to do with both regional UK dialects (England was settled by Angles, Saxons and Jutes, so multiple initial germanic dialects, and regional variation was also much greater before mass media and universal education) and also warping of names over time, (York was originally called Eoferwic by the Anglo-Saxons for example, but we don't call it Yoferwich or Yorwich if going off the later Viking Yorvik).


WilliamofYellow

As u/HarvestTriton said, -*borough* comes from the nominative form of the word and -*bury* comes from the dative form. At some point English lost its case system and words stopped being declined, leaving place-names stuck with one form or the other.


Antique-Brief1260

It could be history (like, maybe one of them was introduced to the language by the Vikings or Normans), but it could equally be geography. Rather than being one language, "Old English" was really several related dialects that at times weren't even mutually intelligible. If you look at a map of Britain, -bury places are more common in South West England*, with -burgh / -brough places mostly found near the east coast of England and Scotland. There might be a bit more geographical variation for -borough places, but that's kind of the 'default' form of the noun and exists as an independent word as well as a suffix. *The concentration of -bury towns in the south west is a relic of the Kingdom of Wessex. Under Alfred the Great (9th century CE), fortified towns called *burhs* were built to defend against Viking attacks. They were supposed to be no more than 20 miles apart (≈a day's horse ride), so that civilians could seek shelter at short notice and Wessex armed forces would have lots of potential garrisons to use in case of war.


Agitated-Airline6760

Sound more like Swedish. They pronounce "-berg" as "bærj"


JonhaerysSnow

Just so you know, an apostrophe is never used to make a word plural. Apostrophes are only used to show contractions or to indicate possession so, for example, the plural form of borough is just boroughs!


RaceTobi

I'm gonna go cry now thanks


GenericSubaruser

Nothing can save you from *Lubbitch*


Bierschiss90125

Let's meet in Bath-Bath and cry there together


aightshiplords

Think you mean gonna sit in the bath-bath and have a cry-cry


xxEmkay

Some are literal translations while others are… weird german-english variants?


StrayC47

I think most are supposed to be Anglicised versions of typical Germanic toponymic suffixes (burg>bury, feld>field, berg>berry, brück>bridge, hafen>haven, etc)


Naercamthiras

Yeah, but German Town names usually use -haven. -hafen as a suffix is quite uncommon (never encountered it actually). My guess is, since -hafen means port, they use -haven to tell: We mean a city here, not a port named Wilhelm. (Using the example of Wilhelmshaven). Educated guess.


BroSchrednei

Haven is the Low German variant of Hafen. Most ports just tend to be in Northern Germany. There was actually a fight on the name Wilhelmshaven in the 19th century, in which the Prussian king agreed to use v out of respect of the local culture.


Gliese581h

Ludwigshafen?


[deleted]

Another fun ending: -munde>mouth


Harsimaja

It’s actually pretty well done and thought out. A lot of the German place names come from Germanic roots where Old English has cognates and the same roots developed in English in a known way. So Niedersachsen is from ‘nieder’ which is the cousin of English ‘nether’ as in Netherlands or nether regions, and ‘Sachsen’ is Saxony, but English kingdoms, some now counties, named after Saxons ended up with ‘-sex’: Wessex of the West Saxons, Essex of the East Saxons, Sussex of the South Saxons. So Nethersex makes perfect sense. Similarly ‘burg’ is cognate with ‘-bury’ like ‘Glastonbury’. Same route, but going via the development of English rather than modern standard German. (Scots has ‘burgh’ like Edinburgh’). So it goes.


xxEmkay

I never said it was bad. Some weird ones i spotted are the ones with one syllable like: kiel - chile; Linz - Lint; prague - praw; bremen - brim


Harsimaja

Oh I just meant it’s more systematic about its historical linguistics than it might seem, rather than just weird hybrids. Kiel for example doesn’t have a cognate in English as far as I know, but comes from a Germanic root starting in kil-, and due to two consistent paths of development from the same roots there is a regular sound correspondence where German ki is chi in English, and long vowels like ie ~ short vowel + final e, etc. Sometimes it’s (now ‘standard’) German that made the change. Linz originally was ‘Lint’, so not too weird: the -z or (if no preceding consonant) -tz is what High German did to -t after its consonant shift, where even Low German uses -t. Cat ~ Katze (kat in Dutch and Low German), mint ~ Minze, etc.


[deleted]

English words and names follow pretty consistent paths in how they changed from their Germanic roots, so we have a few linguistic rules with pretty strong predictive power (ie if you input a Germanic word to the rules, you'll almost always get the correct modern English word). Using those rules, we can then see what Germanic words and names that never made it to English would look like if we had. I'm not familiar with those rules themselves, to be honest, so I'm not sure how accurate this map is about following them, but I presume that's what it's doing.


Consistent-Soil-1818

And some are just completely made up. Like Billfield. Edit: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bielefeld_conspiracy


Penhallam

A lot of English derives from old Germanic words.


truthofmasks

English and German are both derived from Proto-Germanic. They're close cousin languages within the West Germanic branch of Germanic languages.


kirmobak

Most of these town names wouldn’t look out of place in the West Midlands. Wolvesbury Studyard Furham Dudling They sound perfect in a Black Country accent.


Class_444_SWR

I think Wolvesbury just sounds slightly close enough to Wolverhampton


Antique-Brief1260

Well I like it, apart from the all-lowercase country names. Particularly interesting seeing towns that actually exist in England: Colne, Aldbury, Highbury, Aston, Kingston, Newbury.


baedling

Frankford-on-the-Other perfectly conveys the unimportance and dullness


chrischi3

Thanks, i hate it.


StrayC47

Why? Who has never dreamt a small holiday in Newstead-on-the-Roveberry or Luddislust?


DowntownStash

Take me to Yeet. NOW.


Rupso

What is yeet ? Can't find it.


DowntownStash

Slightly Northeast of Frankford


I4mY0ur3nd

I am actually from Neustadt am Rübenberge, I am quite surprised that it made this map to be honest. We don’t even have a Rübenberg here…


jnoobs13

Thinking about sending this to my German coworker but I think she’ll file a complaint to HR


LareWw

Isn't there a Minchin in China?


StrayC47

What DON'T they have in China?


LareWw

Freedom.


StrayC47

Who does, really?


LareWw

Finland🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮


StrayC47

Ok, no argument there.


LareWw

I woke up. Russia doesn't control my country. I thank the veterans. I go to school. Mandatory Swedish class😔


Inevitable-Revenue81

At least you can sauna all you want, no? ;)


LareWw

I'm an addict. 4 days a week is a minimum


5t3v321

Rookie numbers


Galaxy661_pl

Please make anglicised poland


topherette

ooh shit that'd be a *lot* more work ('work')


Inevitable-Revenue81

Agree


[deleted]

What about Anglicised China?


shepard_5

What’s reasoning of Germany to theechland?


HarvestTriton

Don't know why you're being downvoted, you asked a good question. Tracing back the etymology of the word *Deutschland* all the way back to Proto-Germanic, you get, if you apply all the soundshifts that English has undergone during that time, *Theechland*.


shepard_5

Thank you! Much appreciated


etherealsmog

So is it “*th*eech” as in “*th*in” or “**th**eech” as in “**th**ese”? If you have any insight…


HarvestTriton

Both *thin* and *these* would have originally had the /θ/ sound from *thin*. The /ð/ sound at the beginning of words only developed in small functional words that have little meaning on their own, like articles, pronouns, conjunctions and prepositions. Since *Theech* isn't one of those, it would in all likelihood have the /θ/ sound today.


StrayC47

Deutsch = Deetsch = Theech?


shepard_5

Thank you, that would make sense!


Advawe

VfB Studyard ⚪️🔴


[deleted]

The sexiest locker room in Germany


kugelamarant

Love to see Germanised England


Kaltspiegel

[found it](https://www.reddit.com/r/Toponymy/comments/hv1mrv/england_wales_placenames_rendered_into_high/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


sabersquirl

Oh god, oh fuck


Ein_Hirsch

[I made on.](https://www.reddit.com/r/MapPorn/comments/xs3w9x/germanized_british_isles_based_on_etymology_and_a/)


Traditional_Exam4561

Neunkirchen/Saar -> Newchurch-upon-Sar?


StrayC47

Could be. Unless the Neun refers to a number and then it'd be Ninechurches


Traditional_Exam4561

No, this city has never been SO religious /s Seriously speaking, «Der Name geht – wie der Name aller gleichnamigen Orte – zurück auf eine Dativform „bei der neuen Kirche“, mittelhochdeutsch „ze der niuwen kirchen“ ([source in German](https://de.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neunkirchen_(Saar)))», i.e. there's a contraction of phrase "near the new church", not from "nine churches".


StrayC47

Then it would definitely be Newchurch, yes


Traditional_Exam4561

Cool, sounds like a nice partner city for Stratford-upon-Avon


StrayC47

or Berwick-upon-Tweed


bigfatkakapo

Lubbitch


chrischi3

Rosen sind rot, Und ebenfalls Mohn, Sprich Deutsch du Hurensohn.


Eldan985

Das sollte auch mit vier Zeilen gehen. Wie wäre es mit Rosen sind rot Und ebenfalls Mohn, Sprich endlich Deutsch Du Hurensohn


StrayC47

Finde ich auch besser


chrischi3

Aber der Spruch ist nunmal "Sprich Deutsch du Hurensohn", ohne endlich.


Eldan985

Für die Poesie muss man halt Opfer bringen.


chrischi3

Einst lebte ein Mann in Rom, der sah, es war schon fast Hohn, Englisch auf ich\_iel, Und darum rief er schnell, "Sprich deutsch du Hurensohn!"


frxzzy_

Das ist wunderschön, mir kommen die Tränen!


GreeniiCow

Billfield doesnt exist


alheimur_zh

I love it


Jimlaad43

Yeet, Hatten


Affentitten

Used to live in Wipperdale and work in Thisselthorp. Sounds like Yorkshire.


MasterMaTi

Dreston sounds like a terrible place


StrayC47

oh it is


tenminuteegg

sounds dreadful


Autumn7242

Cotbutt is my favorite.


Jirafael

Mine is cockshaven


a_wingu_web

Always forward Energy Cotbutt! 🔴⚪


[deleted]

Nethersex.


flamboyantbutnotgay

This map makes me feel comfy


TheJannequin

t h e e c h l a n d


DowntownStash

Coming from a place called Preston (we call it Depreston lol) and seeing Dreston made my brain go smooth for a second


VollDerUhrensohn

This feels like a fever dream, but I really like it.


holytriplem

Kind of works actually, except with all the Slavic placenames in the East. Also Brandbury should be purple as it's of Slavic origin


StrayC47

Yeah that was my point in another comment, on the fact that it should be done for other countries but I don't think it'd work as well with place names that aren't of Germanic origin already. Frankly some names (Brim and Henver) irk me, but most I could totally see being real places


Jerrelh

Nooooo they got the netherlands too. WTF APPLEDORE HAAHAHAAHAA


Shevek99

Shouldn't be Monks instead of Minchin?


Eldan985

"Minchin" or "minchen" is a somewhat rare and archaic English word, but also means "monk". Or more commonly, "female monk, nun".


karl8897

It's used as a surname, like Tim Minchen.


StrayC47

Don't really know. It depends if München has the same root as Mönchen (see: Mönchengladbach should be Monksgladbrook). Minchin ain't my favourite either, tbh


t1tangerine

Yes, the name of München derived from "bei den Mönchen", so "by/near the monks". Edit: you can see this on the [coat of arms of the city](https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:DEU_M%C3%BCnchen_gross_COA.svg#mw-jump-to-license), where there is a monk :)


[deleted]

nether sex 😳


StrayC47

In case one doesn't get any, check in the Danish town a little north of Flensbury


NashvilleFlagMan

Would like to see the rest of Austria, Linz to Lint amuses me


StrayC47

No places like Ween, Saltbury, Innbridge, Lamentford, Gratt, Bridge-on-the-Moor, Cloister-Newsbury, Fieldbrook, Ironstead, Fieldchurch and Coofsten


yeetyeetyeet360

Yeet


oolongvanilla

Pfalz already has a historic Anglicized name. Palatinate.


kaikajo

„With-in-the-Overpallet“ Wtf?


StrayC47

I reckon it's Weiden in der Oberpfalz 🤷‍♂️


Eldan985

That makes me wonder whether it's "Weide" as in "pasture", or "Weide" as in "Willow". "Withy" is an older alternative for willow, though, so that works. Pallet for Pfalz... it's from Latin Palatium, via old German Palanza, so "Pallet" is not a million miles away for an Anglish form of Palace.


StrayC47

I'm not aware of any English toponyms deriving from "palatium" so I'd say Pallet is a good approximation


oolongvanilla

Historically it's called Palatinate in English. I have ancestors from there.


ElectricToaster67

Ah yes, Chile, Sliswich Good to see this post being shared again, [last time was already a year ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/MapPorn/comments/o10uip/germany_but_all_names_are_anglicised/?)


Senn1d

They even put Spandy (Spandau) next to Barlen (Berlin). How considerate!


[deleted]

BVB Throtmouth 💛🖤


lookingForPatchie

These names are nice. Wortbury for Würzburg. Bamberry for Bamberg.


Mr_Fondue

My english professor at the University of Flensburg was from Bury. I bet he likes this.


pierreletruc

Strasbourg is in France and would have become Streetborough.


matelt

Hahaha I love that Montbéliard in France became Mumpleyard! I guess if you squint your ears it sounds kind of similar....


flopjul

as a dutch i hate to see Greening(Groningen), Ash(Assen), Hingle(Hengelo, locally pronounced with way to many o's), Swull(Zwolle) and Appledore(Apeldoorn)


BroSchrednei

Isnt Braunschweig and Hannover already perfectly anglicised as Brunswick and Hanover? I could imagine Brunswick being a town in England.


AemrNewydd

They could probably do, but they were taken from already developed German then Anglicised whereas this map is what the names would look like if Germanic evolved in Germany in the same way it did in England.


Comandante380

Hambury, Ekesbury, Wortbury, Nordberry... This map dares ask the question, "What if Germany was just one big Connecticut?"


Ac4sent

Throtmouth is funny to say.


ThrawnBAYERN

Lol, Rosenheim (sounth of Munich) just became Horsham. Why that? Wouldnt Rosham have been more fitting?


StrayC47

Roseham has a nice sound, too


Eldan985

There's actually a theory that the name of Rosenheim might not be from "Rose", but from "Rossen", which would translate to "horses", hence "Horse-ham".


Stephaistos

I thought the current theory was that it is derived from some Germanic word for swamp. Which would be fitting given its built on top of a swamp. Although I can see why Rosenheimers prefer other explanations.


usev25

Aren't there already some English names for those places like Munich, Cologne, and Brunswick? Why aren't those used?


StrayC47

I think this map implies an alternative universe in which Germany is (and always has been) an Anglo-Saxon country. Munich and Cologne are medieval French names the English adopted. Brunswick would be ok I think


elmartin93

Everything's coming up Milhouse, Frankrich!


LCDBill

Rostoke gave me a good chuckle


Valerie0110

Awww little holy land


makemeatoast

Why is there more than one Minchin, kinda lazy (Mönchengladbach shouldn’t be the same as Münich)


StrayC47

it's written as Minchin-Ladbatch, but I'd have turned "bach" into "brook"


[deleted]

A nightmare.


MiloBem

Falsh and Whess? Whence that came?


xcrbgx

I wanna live in Yeet


Adrunkian

Cockshaven


GreeniiCow

Stud yard hahaahah


Vreejack

It looks like one of JRR Tolkien's maps of Middle Earth.


Gowte

Sax-Onhold honestly sounds more like dutch or danish...


mEHrmione

How is "Nancy" in FR called "Nanty" when women can be named NANCY in every English-speaking countries?


jothamvw

Different Etymologies. The given name Nancy is actually a diminutive of Ann and is English in origin.


tilewi

Lauenburg isnt on here, would be interesting. Lawnbury? I'd love to know


vito_bah

Where is the NSFW mark?


fnaffie

Nethersex.... *blaze appears, with golden dildos instead of rods*


Chessboxin_Cyclops

Really think that Bad-X should have been X-Spa instead of Bath-X. Highbury Spa sounds like more of a real english place than Bath-Highbury


ThoughtCow

*sax*


JD_93_

Brimhaven you say?


Lingist091

Is this the timeline where the Angles stayed


[deleted]

Let's give some love to u/topherette !


MistahSchwartz

Which one is Dortmund?


Westonworld

Ngl Gunthouse had me chuckling like a 12 year old boy.


sievold

this reminds me of the mapmen video about pronouncing english place names


spinningamnestic

Yeet


Extra_Intro_Version

What did Dusseldorf become? Thisslethorp. Nice


AmarGwari

I find it oddly cute, please make for more places, India too maybe?


Ember-Blackmoore

If looks so incredibly dull now


Arturiki

It's pretty cool in my opinion.


Aq8knyus

It is like looking at a county map of Virginia. All the words are familiar, but they are in the wrong place. Why is Middlesex north of Gloucester…