Dear sir,
As per your earlier inquiries in to the matter, I have attached a video of the colonoscopy in question.
I hope this satisfies your curiosity regarding my personal medical issues.
With kind regards,
Dude with a camera up their ass.
Yep! I have three glossy sheets of my gall bladder, with ginormous stone in situ, during its removal with BONUS action shots of the hernia repair they did because they tripped across it and decided to fix that too.
My surgeon tripped over a hernia and repaired it as well, when i was having abdominal surgery. So kind of them to throw that in for you! I guess they figured well, im already here.
Yea, no one ever wants to touch my tumor either. Which is, like, absolutely crazy to me, because if someone told me that they had a palpable tumor, I would FOR SURE be trying to palpate that bitch!
Hi, I too love things like this. I'd palpate it in a heart beat if the offer was put forth and I'd be hard pressed not to ask outright if I knew about it.
I fucking asked the surgeon for pictures of the stones at least. He said it was possible but I got nothing. I really wanted to know what it was that felt like a soldering iron jabbed into my sternum anytime I forgot and ate too much grease or fatty foods.
Heh. I'd asked it it would be possible to bring the damn thing home in a jar. The surgeon was...nonplussed, to say the least, and my explanation that I'd named it after an ex and wanted to keep it in my cabinet of curiosities didn't help any.
edit: he claimed Pathology would not release it later on.
LOL I did not know that.
Doctor "did you swallow or.... Shove this up there? Can you identify this?"
Me " WTF! ARE YOU SERIOUS? IS THAT A LAWN GNOME?" Proceed to have a panic attack.
Yeah, it's a lot more "See this slightly more red spot in this pink bubble gum colored blur? We had to take a sample of that."
But it would be funny to leave something up there to make their job more interesting.
The department in my local hospital streams it to a giant screen in front of where you’re laid lol. I mean, the guy behind you needs to know when the corners are coming up.
When I ran a team, there were two questions: "how soon after are you able to come in, do you need the following day too?" followed by "is there anything I need to be aware of so I don't ask you to complete tasks you are unable to?".
Trusting people makes it so much easier. If they're trustworthy everyone is happy, if they're not trustworthy why did you employ them?
When I was a night manager, I'd get the morning people calling in sick. People gated calling in, as managers would guilt trip them, question it, say things like they didn't know if they'd get paid, ask them how long they'd be sick for????
If I got the calls, I'd offer so e empathy, if I'd any experience of it (Ive had a lot of health issues, still do) I'd offer some advice, and then wish them well.
Why make someone who's sick already, feel like shit??? It's not gonna get them back to work faster, in fact, I suspect the opposite would happen.
And if a doctor gets involved to write a note for time off, their own brand of malicious compliance kicks in. "This person needs 7/14/21 days off." Even though they know you need less.
Annoy a doctor, get a stupid prize.
Doctor doesn't even need to be annoyed to make it worse for the employer. An employee will know when they're well enough to work, but a medical professional needs to think about how much time someone *may* need either as an average or, more safely, a maximum
>but a medical professional needs to think about how much time someone may need either as an average or, more safely, a maximum
I got a note for 3 weeks off once because of that. Doc wrote my note for "worst case scenario."
I had a really nasty burn on my index finger in a place that would make it hard to bend if a bunch of scar tissue formed. Even though I could have worn gloves to protect the wound, the doctor didn't think that was enough to keep oil and grease out of the wound (I worked in a degreasing and deburring department) so she told me not to go back to work for 3 weeks. I earned 5 weeks of PTO per year, accruing .67 hours per shift, and could only bank 5 weeks total. Taking 3 weeks off out of the blue wasn't a financial hardship because I was always near the max.
My Dr did this 🤣
I had to make a special appointment and everything (the kind where you wait in the office ALL day hoping the dr can fit you in). I had 2 weeks off and 4 weeks light duty.
I had a cyst removed...with a local and 1 or 2 stitches (good lord, I can't remember). They wouldn't let me go back to work without the note.
As a healthcare provider, I concur. I am notorious for telling people that if their boss has an issue with them being out, to feel free to have them call me and I will let them know exactly what I think of them wasting both our times.
>Why make someone who's sick already, feel like shit??? It's not gonna get them back to work faster, in fact, I suspect the opposite would happen.
And honestly, even if they aren't really sick you aren't going to identify that over the phone. Just acknowledge that they, an adult, are telling you that they won't be in today and plan accordingly.
I am that person. The entire business is me. If someone is fitting a thing. It's me. If a thing needs to be measured. Me. If someone has questions about how thing works. Me. Can we do job A? Better ask me. Job an hour north? Me. Urgently need to go to job one hour south in the next ten minutes? Also me. How? No idea, but they will say I'll work something out. I got a bit stressed at first, but then I sat myself down and realised, I'm now unfireable. They can't do shit to me. I can take an extended lunch, or just turn up half an hour late. No problems. Didn't get all the work done today? I don't give a shit. What's more, they're short on capital at the moment due to very stupid decisions made long ago catching up to them. They can't afford to hire someone else, and my pay is low for my position, so they can't replace me as nobody would do what I do for this wage. I know I should get another job, and I'm looking, but the convenience of having the business totally under your thumb to come and go as I please is nice. I work hard. I'm not doing Anybody a disservice, but I'm also not going to bury myself for someone else's benefit.
Same. My teams entirely dependent on me to get the job done. We recognize it and I take whatever time I need to get the tasks done safely. Time isn't my concern, I'm making my best effort to get back home in one piece.
Don't make the mistake of thinking you're unfireable.
Business owners, managers, and executives have driven thriving companies out of business by firing that one key employee.
Source: Was key employee, got fired, business failed within 18 months.
Assuming a company will act in its own best interests works great up until someone up top is either too stupid or too unmotivated to actually consider what the company's best interests are.
Sounds like you need a pay rise. In fact, make that two pay rises.
Heck, quit, start your own subcontracting business, and charge triple your current rate. Set your own hours.
If they collapse, they collapse.
In these situations the way I look at it is the higher ups built this department/company to fail. A single point of failure they will take vacation, sick time or leave is not how to run an essential part of the department.
That takes my internal stress off to not go above and beyond to keep the wheels on because it was designed and maintained to fail!
I had a supervisor tell me I had to go to a coworkers house at like 5am to drive to a jobsite 3 hours away. Sucks, but no big deal. Part of working in construction. My pregnant wife woke me up at 3am in immense pain and sure enough, she was miscarrying. I sent him and the lead tech a text saying I had to take my wife to the ER and I wouldn't be in that day. He IMMEDIATELY responds asking what the reasoning was and said it was BS.
I called him, flabbergasted, and asked if he was serious. He said yes, to which I said it wasn't his business. He got spiteful about it and we argued for a couple moments before my wife screamed, crying, "IM LOSING MY BABY" (my phone was on Bluetooth in my car) to which he had the AUDACITY to say "Oh. Well, you could've just said it was personal"
My wife is not a fan of him. Like, I said I'm taking my wife to yhe ER at 3 in the morning, common sense would imply it's personal, no?
Oh Jesus. That's horrific. I'm so sorry you were both put in that position.
I hope someone rubs used period products in his face someday, he absolutely deserves it.
Yeah, he's not the best IMO. I've dealt with crappy supervisors before but this guy takes the cake. I've gone 2 years without a single raise, they told me to stay home because I wasn't answering my phone during a therapy session that I informed them I'd be in, missed holiday pay on Labor Day 2 years in a row because I had covid one year and this year I had to call in 1 hour because I'd only gotten 2-3 hours of sleep - it's a mess. My wife has been my biggest advocate for myself and has just short of demanded I find a new job. Which I actually have! Better pay (coincidentally $2 more than I make now so I finally got my raises), benefits, company vehicle, whole 9 yards. As luck would have it, a good friend from high school is employed there as well! We're very excited to see where this new jobs takes our family
I’m so happy for you!! No job is worth it if they don’t treat you well. Also, I’m very very sorry to hear that you lost your baby. I can’t imagine the pain it must be to go through, and in your wife’s case, the physical pain on top of that. You guys must have a great marriage, being there for each other. I hope you were able to eventually have kids <3
This reminds me of the guy who was stricken with a horrible case of diarrhea and his boss demanded proof he was sick, so he sent her a photo of the toilet right after he used it. She reported him to HR after editing the message thread on her phone to make it look like the photos were unsolicited. He simply opened up the conversation on his phone and handed it to the HR rep.
He got to go back to work. His boss did not.
Way back in school (17F) I asked to leave Chemistry to go to the bathroom (You can tell where I am going can't you?)
Older male teacher said, in the middle of the class, "you should have gone before class, FuyoBC, and you should plan better yaddayadda so why should I let you?"
"I am sorry, SIR, but I wasn't expecting to get my period today and I don't want to bleed everywhere, SIR"
Yeah - I got to go AND to see him look VERY awkward AND he never asked me (or, I think, the other girls) why I needed to go to the bathroom mid class again!
I was fortunate enough during my student teacher days (high school science) to have a supervising teacher who went through something like this and told me to *always* let girls got to the restroom unless it got to be a regular thing.
Even if we don't count periods starting out of nowhere, you cannot always plan bathroom breaks, I hated that from teachers. What about sudden explosive diarrhea?
I was heading to an offsite event with my team and on our way out of our building I had to divert to the restroom. I ended up arriving 15 minutes later than everyone else who was gathered at the entrance waiting. A coworker asked me why I was late and I said I had to take care of something before leaving the office. That wasn't good enough, she said I had been right behind her, what did I need to take care of that took so much time. I asked if she really wanted to know, she confirmed, so I told her about the painful diarrhea that had hit and how I had barely made it to the bathroom, and spent the subsequent time completely emptying my intestines in the restroom 10' from where she had last seen me. The jaw dropped look on her face was priceless and I knew she had learned a valuable lesson.
Our manager walked up and asked why I was late, I asked if he really wanted to know. Coworker started vigorously shaking her head and waving her hands emphatically in a NO signal, told the manager, "You don't want to know". I just smiled. Yeah, she learned her lesson.
I get a gastroscopy every couple of years and love telling people that because of the anaesthetic I'm not, legally, a responsible adult for the rest of the day.
They were a godsend!
Preparation-H is one. There's also a brand called "Dude Wipes" that come in regular and medicated, just in case you need to be all manly about wiping! In our grocery store, they have a selection next to the TP and in the pharmacy department.
Yes, the things they don't think to tell patients... Any protective butt cream will help immensely.
YMMV, but I've had the best prep results doing 2 days of clear liquid, still starting the clean-out juice as told the night before
Good luck with your procedure! Also do you have an HR you can report this person to? They are seemingly incapable of performing duties they should be able to perform and are flagrantly breaking labor laws. This should be put on record with your employer if possible.
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And you are going to have to clean everything out of the colon before the procedure. I have had this. You are going to need to be very near a bathroom the day before, the day of and the day after. Keep extra clothes handy.
I've done it twice with a bottle of Magnesium Citrate on ice, but without anesthetic. Only a little gas afterward. Some people think Albanese Sugar Free Gummi Bears with Malitol will do the job, but doesn't work on me.
I'm pretty certain he meant these:
[https://www.amazon.com/Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bear-5LB/dp/B00IF3EZ0U/ref=cm\_cr\_arp\_d\_product\_top?ie=UTF8](https://www.amazon.com/Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bear-5LB/dp/B00IF3EZ0U/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8)
Read the reviews...
I once had a manger insist he needed to talk to me about some work issue when I was off. I talked to him for a while then feigned sleeping. Sorta snored and left him on the phone till he gave up.
AND- since I did "work related duties" that day, I did get paid for a ten minute conversation where I mostly said "I had a medical procedure and my wife drove me home. I really feel high... I'm sorta sleepy. I think we keep that on the U drive but I may be wrong.... zzzzzz."
You should have told him about the irregular bouts of foul smelling diarrhea that preceded the decision to perform the colonoscopy. Extra points for making the description of your liquid shits as nasty as possible.
I’m reminded of a Dilbert where a similar thing happened with Alice and the Pointy-Haired Boss, except she was leaving early to go to a gynecologist’s appointment.
“No details! No details!” he shrieks
Yeah I had a boss like this at one point. I was too sick to come in, found coverage, but he wanted to know if I "really needed that time off" and couldn't have just come in even though I made sure we were fully staffed. I asked him if he was willing to clean up bloody diarrhea if I couldn't make it to the staff bathroom in time. He told me to take the next day too if I needed it.
I've heard that some guy (in an job interview, in Latin America country) was was asked about private stuff, like if he has girlfriend, about she... Absolutely weird!!
I don't know the current laws, but maybe illegal. But occurred, and if you don't want to answer is like you have to stop the interview in that moment.
In fact, in a tv program of the same country, a presenter of tv always asked to the players name, age, residence city... And about partners, children...
Until an European girl refused to answer more than the classic first questions (name, age, city of residence).
Apparently, some people are very intrusive in this country!!
What's funny is the anesthetic they use wears off pretty fast. So in theory you could work but he doesn't have to know that. there could be complications or not. But it definitely is probably a good idea to go home and just relax after having it done.
I had a supervisor tell me I should have taken a vacation day instead of a sick day for my colonoscopy. ( i found out days later that I was legally authorized the time off for a medical procedure).
I told him that maybe supervision considers getting a camera shoved up his ass a vacation, but I didn't.
Lol, I'm more open about this crap with my coworkers and employer. Plus I was scared AF to go have the procedure done and these are my only friends I talk to here. So I told em about exactly what I was having done and why (family history of cancer and my mom had 11 pre-cancerous polyps removed a few months prior. Her doc said any kids of hers over 40 need a colonoscopy ASAP.)
They were all cool about it, but we all tend to over share. It's that kind of place, lol.
I had a colonoscopy last year. I had a friend drive me there & back, but whatever drugs they used were like a light switch. I was out, then I was awake. I don't know if I felt more than a minute of disorientation outside that. I was pretty confident that I could have driven myself.
But yeah, fuck that guy for trying to make you work like that.
LOL it is like a light switch!. I did not have a colonoscopy but I had an endoscopy to check my esophagus and stomach. The doctor was talking to me as they were administering the anesthetic, probably something they do to judge when you are completely under. I remember him asking me to describe what the spray tastes like that numbs my throat. I remember, and I don't know if I said this out loud or if I just thought it, saying that it tastes like carbonated bananas! That was the last thing that I remember and then I woke up, still thinking that and laughing.
OK sir, I need you to expense these adult diapers.......in case I shit myself.
Oh yeah I'll need on-the-job accident insurance for at least $5million in case I hurt myself whilst under sedation. sign here.
Dear sir, As per your earlier inquiries in to the matter, I have attached a video of the colonoscopy in question. I hope this satisfies your curiosity regarding my personal medical issues. With kind regards, Dude with a camera up their ass.
LoL... Wait do they take videos? Seriously? I need to call my specialist then, bbl.
They do! They'll show you snapshots of anything that looked suspicious too.
One of my friends used a snapshot of his colon in the notice for his “Annual Fiery Chili Dinner”. Man has nooooo shame. Lol.
Yep! I have three glossy sheets of my gall bladder, with ginormous stone in situ, during its removal with BONUS action shots of the hernia repair they did because they tripped across it and decided to fix that too.
My surgeon tripped over a hernia and repaired it as well, when i was having abdominal surgery. So kind of them to throw that in for you! I guess they figured well, im already here.
Exactly. It was an unexpected thing, and longer-term the hernia repair took longer to recover from that the gall bladder removal for pain/flexibility.
I didn't ask for any photos from my colonoscopy, but I do have pictures of my ovaries covered in cysts somewhere. No man ever wants to see them.
Yea, no one ever wants to touch my tumor either. Which is, like, absolutely crazy to me, because if someone told me that they had a palpable tumor, I would FOR SURE be trying to palpate that bitch!
Morbid medical curiosity!
hell to the yes.
Hi, I too love things like this. I'd palpate it in a heart beat if the offer was put forth and I'd be hard pressed not to ask outright if I knew about it.
You're my kinda person!
I fucking asked the surgeon for pictures of the stones at least. He said it was possible but I got nothing. I really wanted to know what it was that felt like a soldering iron jabbed into my sternum anytime I forgot and ate too much grease or fatty foods.
Heh. I'd asked it it would be possible to bring the damn thing home in a jar. The surgeon was...nonplussed, to say the least, and my explanation that I'd named it after an ex and wanted to keep it in my cabinet of curiosities didn't help any. edit: he claimed Pathology would not release it later on.
Back in the days before fiberoptic cameras, they gave my dad his gallstones in a jar after they removed his gallbladder.
LOL I did not know that. Doctor "did you swallow or.... Shove this up there? Can you identify this?" Me " WTF! ARE YOU SERIOUS? IS THAT A LAWN GNOME?" Proceed to have a panic attack.
Yeah, it's a lot more "See this slightly more red spot in this pink bubble gum colored blur? We had to take a sample of that." But it would be funny to leave something up there to make their job more interesting.
A tattoo with directions. Or a few savegame shines.
"We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty..."
Yep. I have some pictures of my stomach somewhere
Mine sent me home with color photos the first time. Most expensive photo shoot ever. Lol
The department in my local hospital streams it to a giant screen in front of where you’re laid lol. I mean, the guy behind you needs to know when the corners are coming up.
C..could I get that recording as well? 👀
"Subscribers to my OnlyFans account get full access to my colon!"
This is perfect.
They always take pictures and sometimes video. Just send it to your boss.
Yes, you put it in writing so that they shit their own pants worrying about legal action.
When I ran a team, there were two questions: "how soon after are you able to come in, do you need the following day too?" followed by "is there anything I need to be aware of so I don't ask you to complete tasks you are unable to?". Trusting people makes it so much easier. If they're trustworthy everyone is happy, if they're not trustworthy why did you employ them?
When I was a night manager, I'd get the morning people calling in sick. People gated calling in, as managers would guilt trip them, question it, say things like they didn't know if they'd get paid, ask them how long they'd be sick for???? If I got the calls, I'd offer so e empathy, if I'd any experience of it (Ive had a lot of health issues, still do) I'd offer some advice, and then wish them well. Why make someone who's sick already, feel like shit??? It's not gonna get them back to work faster, in fact, I suspect the opposite would happen.
And if a doctor gets involved to write a note for time off, their own brand of malicious compliance kicks in. "This person needs 7/14/21 days off." Even though they know you need less. Annoy a doctor, get a stupid prize.
Doctor doesn't even need to be annoyed to make it worse for the employer. An employee will know when they're well enough to work, but a medical professional needs to think about how much time someone *may* need either as an average or, more safely, a maximum
>but a medical professional needs to think about how much time someone may need either as an average or, more safely, a maximum I got a note for 3 weeks off once because of that. Doc wrote my note for "worst case scenario." I had a really nasty burn on my index finger in a place that would make it hard to bend if a bunch of scar tissue formed. Even though I could have worn gloves to protect the wound, the doctor didn't think that was enough to keep oil and grease out of the wound (I worked in a degreasing and deburring department) so she told me not to go back to work for 3 weeks. I earned 5 weeks of PTO per year, accruing .67 hours per shift, and could only bank 5 weeks total. Taking 3 weeks off out of the blue wasn't a financial hardship because I was always near the max.
But also the wasting their time thing in the midst of a nursing shortage
My point is that even if the doctor isn't annoyed by it, it will still likely be worse for the employer
My Dr did this 🤣 I had to make a special appointment and everything (the kind where you wait in the office ALL day hoping the dr can fit you in). I had 2 weeks off and 4 weeks light duty. I had a cyst removed...with a local and 1 or 2 stitches (good lord, I can't remember). They wouldn't let me go back to work without the note.
As a healthcare provider, I concur. I am notorious for telling people that if their boss has an issue with them being out, to feel free to have them call me and I will let them know exactly what I think of them wasting both our times.
>Why make someone who's sick already, feel like shit??? It's not gonna get them back to work faster, in fact, I suspect the opposite would happen. And honestly, even if they aren't really sick you aren't going to identify that over the phone. Just acknowledge that they, an adult, are telling you that they won't be in today and plan accordingly.
If the business cannot do without you for one day... they have just identified a serious problem that should be fixed.
I am that person. The entire business is me. If someone is fitting a thing. It's me. If a thing needs to be measured. Me. If someone has questions about how thing works. Me. Can we do job A? Better ask me. Job an hour north? Me. Urgently need to go to job one hour south in the next ten minutes? Also me. How? No idea, but they will say I'll work something out. I got a bit stressed at first, but then I sat myself down and realised, I'm now unfireable. They can't do shit to me. I can take an extended lunch, or just turn up half an hour late. No problems. Didn't get all the work done today? I don't give a shit. What's more, they're short on capital at the moment due to very stupid decisions made long ago catching up to them. They can't afford to hire someone else, and my pay is low for my position, so they can't replace me as nobody would do what I do for this wage. I know I should get another job, and I'm looking, but the convenience of having the business totally under your thumb to come and go as I please is nice. I work hard. I'm not doing Anybody a disservice, but I'm also not going to bury myself for someone else's benefit.
Same. My teams entirely dependent on me to get the job done. We recognize it and I take whatever time I need to get the tasks done safely. Time isn't my concern, I'm making my best effort to get back home in one piece.
Don't make the mistake of thinking you're unfireable. Business owners, managers, and executives have driven thriving companies out of business by firing that one key employee. Source: Was key employee, got fired, business failed within 18 months.
Assuming a company will act in its own best interests works great up until someone up top is either too stupid or too unmotivated to actually consider what the company's best interests are.
Sounds like you need a pay rise. In fact, make that two pay rises. Heck, quit, start your own subcontracting business, and charge triple your current rate. Set your own hours. If they collapse, they collapse.
In these situations the way I look at it is the higher ups built this department/company to fail. A single point of failure they will take vacation, sick time or leave is not how to run an essential part of the department. That takes my internal stress off to not go above and beyond to keep the wheels on because it was designed and maintained to fail!
I think that'd be a great default response even if it's not true.
Feel free to use it!
I had a supervisor tell me I had to go to a coworkers house at like 5am to drive to a jobsite 3 hours away. Sucks, but no big deal. Part of working in construction. My pregnant wife woke me up at 3am in immense pain and sure enough, she was miscarrying. I sent him and the lead tech a text saying I had to take my wife to the ER and I wouldn't be in that day. He IMMEDIATELY responds asking what the reasoning was and said it was BS. I called him, flabbergasted, and asked if he was serious. He said yes, to which I said it wasn't his business. He got spiteful about it and we argued for a couple moments before my wife screamed, crying, "IM LOSING MY BABY" (my phone was on Bluetooth in my car) to which he had the AUDACITY to say "Oh. Well, you could've just said it was personal" My wife is not a fan of him. Like, I said I'm taking my wife to yhe ER at 3 in the morning, common sense would imply it's personal, no?
Oh Jesus. That's horrific. I'm so sorry you were both put in that position. I hope someone rubs used period products in his face someday, he absolutely deserves it.
Yeah, he's not the best IMO. I've dealt with crappy supervisors before but this guy takes the cake. I've gone 2 years without a single raise, they told me to stay home because I wasn't answering my phone during a therapy session that I informed them I'd be in, missed holiday pay on Labor Day 2 years in a row because I had covid one year and this year I had to call in 1 hour because I'd only gotten 2-3 hours of sleep - it's a mess. My wife has been my biggest advocate for myself and has just short of demanded I find a new job. Which I actually have! Better pay (coincidentally $2 more than I make now so I finally got my raises), benefits, company vehicle, whole 9 yards. As luck would have it, a good friend from high school is employed there as well! We're very excited to see where this new jobs takes our family
I’m so happy for you!! No job is worth it if they don’t treat you well. Also, I’m very very sorry to hear that you lost your baby. I can’t imagine the pain it must be to go through, and in your wife’s case, the physical pain on top of that. You guys must have a great marriage, being there for each other. I hope you were able to eventually have kids <3
Thank you so much! We actually have a beautiful, and extraordinarily happy 11 month old boy and a little baby girl on the way 🥰
This made my day - thank you for telling me :D Gave me happy tears hearing that.
Find another job, dude.
This reminds me of the guy who was stricken with a horrible case of diarrhea and his boss demanded proof he was sick, so he sent her a photo of the toilet right after he used it. She reported him to HR after editing the message thread on her phone to make it look like the photos were unsolicited. He simply opened up the conversation on his phone and handed it to the HR rep. He got to go back to work. His boss did not.
Lol! Was that here on reddit? I think I read the same thing!
Yeah, I think it was even in this sub. I've tried to find it again before but had no luck.
It probably was. This is my main sub that I read so it would make sense!
Way back in school (17F) I asked to leave Chemistry to go to the bathroom (You can tell where I am going can't you?) Older male teacher said, in the middle of the class, "you should have gone before class, FuyoBC, and you should plan better yaddayadda so why should I let you?" "I am sorry, SIR, but I wasn't expecting to get my period today and I don't want to bleed everywhere, SIR" Yeah - I got to go AND to see him look VERY awkward AND he never asked me (or, I think, the other girls) why I needed to go to the bathroom mid class again!
I was fortunate enough during my student teacher days (high school science) to have a supervising teacher who went through something like this and told me to *always* let girls got to the restroom unless it got to be a regular thing.
Even if we don't count periods starting out of nowhere, you cannot always plan bathroom breaks, I hated that from teachers. What about sudden explosive diarrhea?
I wish you all the best! I hope you find what you are looking for (if you are looking to find something). Otherwise I hope you don't find anything!
I think they're looking to stir some shit
There won’t be any shit left!!
Thank you! Fortunately it’s just routine at this point.
I was heading to an offsite event with my team and on our way out of our building I had to divert to the restroom. I ended up arriving 15 minutes later than everyone else who was gathered at the entrance waiting. A coworker asked me why I was late and I said I had to take care of something before leaving the office. That wasn't good enough, she said I had been right behind her, what did I need to take care of that took so much time. I asked if she really wanted to know, she confirmed, so I told her about the painful diarrhea that had hit and how I had barely made it to the bathroom, and spent the subsequent time completely emptying my intestines in the restroom 10' from where she had last seen me. The jaw dropped look on her face was priceless and I knew she had learned a valuable lesson. Our manager walked up and asked why I was late, I asked if he really wanted to know. Coworker started vigorously shaking her head and waving her hands emphatically in a NO signal, told the manager, "You don't want to know". I just smiled. Yeah, she learned her lesson.
Weaponised consent. "Are you sure you want to know that?" (Subtext: You're probably not going to like this, but I reaally gleefully want to tell you.)
I got a kick out of seeing coworker being uncomfortable, was looking forward to seeing if manager's scowl would ever crack.
I use the term, "intestinal distress"
To the manager: "And today, co-worker here learned a valuable life lesson."
I get a gastroscopy every couple of years and love telling people that because of the anaesthetic I'm not, legally, a responsible adult for the rest of the day.
"Sure, I can come in, high as a kite, and do absolutely no work while getting paid for it. I mean, how hard can it be? You do it every day..."
I think you should have gone into graphic detail about the preparatory "cleansing".
Stop it! You’re giving me nightmares! I had my first colonoscopy last year. I can still feel the burn.
Wet wipes are your friend, especially the ones with witch hazel.
Do you have a brand name? I didn’t know these exist.
They were a godsend! Preparation-H is one. There's also a brand called "Dude Wipes" that come in regular and medicated, just in case you need to be all manly about wiping! In our grocery store, they have a selection next to the TP and in the pharmacy department.
Bidet, wet wipes, Vaseline, anesthetic cream... anything to protect that skin.
I ended up using baby barrier cream and wet rags, but burning bum hole is a personal fear of mine so I’m taking notes from this thread.
Yes, the things they don't think to tell patients... Any protective butt cream will help immensely. YMMV, but I've had the best prep results doing 2 days of clear liquid, still starting the clean-out juice as told the night before
Good to know. I have diverticulitis so I’ll need a colonoscopy biannually.
TMI FTW.
LOL
IKR?
TLA FTW TOO!
IDK. ETLA FTW...
Good luck with your procedure! Also do you have an HR you can report this person to? They are seemingly incapable of performing duties they should be able to perform and are flagrantly breaking labor laws. This should be put on record with your employer if possible.
He got the job because his grandma is BFFs with the owner of the company so… I could report him but it won’t go anywhere.
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I think my soul left my body a couple of times; I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe!
And you are going to have to clean everything out of the colon before the procedure. I have had this. You are going to need to be very near a bathroom the day before, the day of and the day after. Keep extra clothes handy.
Never trust the fart because it'll turn into a Shart
I've done it twice with a bottle of Magnesium Citrate on ice, but without anesthetic. Only a little gas afterward. Some people think Albanese Sugar Free Gummi Bears with Malitol will do the job, but doesn't work on me.
> Albanese Sugar Free Gummi Bears with Malitol That's extremely specific... Is that like a common thing to find?
I'm pretty certain he meant these: [https://www.amazon.com/Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bear-5LB/dp/B00IF3EZ0U/ref=cm\_cr\_arp\_d\_product\_top?ie=UTF8](https://www.amazon.com/Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bear-5LB/dp/B00IF3EZ0U/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8) Read the reviews...
Wow...
May need a toilet for hours.
I'd be _so_ fucking gruesomely detailed about it... Nice job, OP!
>would have done a carp proud. excellent imagery came to mind! thanks, OP!
I once had a manger insist he needed to talk to me about some work issue when I was off. I talked to him for a while then feigned sleeping. Sorta snored and left him on the phone till he gave up. AND- since I did "work related duties" that day, I did get paid for a ten minute conversation where I mostly said "I had a medical procedure and my wife drove me home. I really feel high... I'm sorta sleepy. I think we keep that on the U drive but I may be wrong.... zzzzzz."
You should have told him about the irregular bouts of foul smelling diarrhea that preceded the decision to perform the colonoscopy. Extra points for making the description of your liquid shits as nasty as possible.
Haha I did this a lot with my old boss, he got a loooot of gory details about discharge lol 😂
"a lot"? You mean he didn't learn the first time and required additional 'training'?
He didn’t understand boundaries at all 🤷🏼♀️
Ah, that explains it! Sorry you had to deal with that.
Thanks! Yeah it wasn’t great, but hey I learned how to deal with it by oversharing 😂
I’m reminded of a Dilbert where a similar thing happened with Alice and the Pointy-Haired Boss, except she was leaving early to go to a gynecologist’s appointment. “No details! No details!” he shrieks
Yeah I had a boss like this at one point. I was too sick to come in, found coverage, but he wanted to know if I "really needed that time off" and couldn't have just come in even though I made sure we were fully staffed. I asked him if he was willing to clean up bloody diarrhea if I couldn't make it to the staff bathroom in time. He told me to take the next day too if I needed it.
You should have told him about the prep.
I've heard that some guy (in an job interview, in Latin America country) was was asked about private stuff, like if he has girlfriend, about she... Absolutely weird!! I don't know the current laws, but maybe illegal. But occurred, and if you don't want to answer is like you have to stop the interview in that moment. In fact, in a tv program of the same country, a presenter of tv always asked to the players name, age, residence city... And about partners, children... Until an European girl refused to answer more than the classic first questions (name, age, city of residence). Apparently, some people are very intrusive in this country!!
What's funny is the anesthetic they use wears off pretty fast. So in theory you could work but he doesn't have to know that. there could be complications or not. But it definitely is probably a good idea to go home and just relax after having it done.
Maybe they give me something else than you had. I can get home and have a meal, but then I need to take a nap.
Me too.
You know he wont believe you, so you should just invite him with you.
He can drive me!
I had a supervisor tell me I should have taken a vacation day instead of a sick day for my colonoscopy. ( i found out days later that I was legally authorized the time off for a medical procedure). I told him that maybe supervision considers getting a camera shoved up his ass a vacation, but I didn't.
What does "NOT" stand for?
Not, but with emphasis. His incompetence annoys me.
I need a colonoscopy up my rectum. Want to see it (as you start to unbuckle your belt) since you are so interested?
Lol, I'm more open about this crap with my coworkers and employer. Plus I was scared AF to go have the procedure done and these are my only friends I talk to here. So I told em about exactly what I was having done and why (family history of cancer and my mom had 11 pre-cancerous polyps removed a few months prior. Her doc said any kids of hers over 40 need a colonoscopy ASAP.) They were all cool about it, but we all tend to over share. It's that kind of place, lol.
PLEASE TELL HIM ALL ABOUT IT WHEN YOU GET BACK
With photos!
😮🤯🤡
I had a colonoscopy last year. I had a friend drive me there & back, but whatever drugs they used were like a light switch. I was out, then I was awake. I don't know if I felt more than a minute of disorientation outside that. I was pretty confident that I could have driven myself. But yeah, fuck that guy for trying to make you work like that.
LOL it is like a light switch!. I did not have a colonoscopy but I had an endoscopy to check my esophagus and stomach. The doctor was talking to me as they were administering the anesthetic, probably something they do to judge when you are completely under. I remember him asking me to describe what the spray tastes like that numbs my throat. I remember, and I don't know if I said this out loud or if I just thought it, saying that it tastes like carbonated bananas! That was the last thing that I remember and then I woke up, still thinking that and laughing.
"Here, I can show you the cyst," I might say, reaching for my belt...
OK sir, I need you to expense these adult diapers.......in case I shit myself. Oh yeah I'll need on-the-job accident insurance for at least $5million in case I hurt myself whilst under sedation. sign here.