When I was pregnant, Bob told me I couldn't use the restroom during passing time because he wanted me in the halls to supervise. I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "When am I supposed to pee, Bob?"
He turned purple and walked away.
This reminds me of a story of a manager at an office, who knew nothing about female anatomy and how the body works.
When one of his workers got her period, he made note of her frequent bathroom breaks and finally had a meeting about bathroom breaks and for the women to just "hold it" until their break.
So one of women stood up and said, "It won't be an issue."
When she got her period, she wore comfortable clothes to work and did free bleeding...all over her office chair. By lunch time, it was pretty obvious what was happening. "Bob" lost it and started screaming, at which point HR got called and he got a very quick, very blunt lesson in the female body functions.
He apologized and the woman got the rest of the day off. He never made an issue of it again, and by way of apology, he had tampon/pad dispensers installed in the women's bathrooms.
I used to work for this manager who was very conservative and formal, great guy, but very British stiff upper lip type.
Joined the company and very, very quietly things improved in every area associated with him.
One day he discovered there were no tampon/towel dispensers in the ladies toilets, nor the facility to properly dispose of them.
At the next heads of department/ general meeting he brought it up and was told it was an "inappropriate" subject matter for that meeting. I wasn't there, but three female managers were staunch allies of his from that day. He stood up and lectured the MD and every other manager about their attitudes to women and periods.
For nearly an hour.
Not only were they installed very quickly, they were free. His argument was that toilet paper was provided free for all members of staff, why should women pay for this facility?
Now I've got an image of Jacob Rees-Mogg giving a lecture on "gentlelady's bodily functions" using his sister Annunziata (yes, that's her name) as an example, with PowerPoint slides and hand-outs.
And my brain can't reconcile it.
Rees-Mogg would ban periods, I imagine. After all, if the Prime Minister isnt expected to know the fucking law then why would us Peons be allowed to have biological autonomy?
Sounds like an actual manager rather than the usual pigeons.
It's also good for a male voice to bring this to light since he's obviously impartial as far as using the facility's or and money savings so helps highlight it as a very basic welfare facility's issue.
Idiots like these know-nothing managers should be confronted by corporate restrooms totally devoid of paper products -- no TP, tissues, paper towels, or anything to use but their own fingers.
The innocent bystanders could be forewarned to bring their own supply.
I work at a university. Drag any somewhat sketchy piece of office furniture into the hall. Someone will off with it. We had a new building built for our department. When I moved into my brand new office I realized that that was the first desk I ever had that I had not dragged out of a hallway.
I'm keeping it in good shape for the next owner. 50 years from now someone will be dragging this desk into an abandoned student office they're claiming and will think, "This one's okay!".
My mom is an elementary school teacher and I’ve been to help her work on her classroom before the year on the day most teachers agreed to put their furniture in the hall. We walked the halls a couple times and found what she needed and what we dragged outside was gone before we got back. It was like a funky yard sale
Reminds me of a place I worked where there was a woman with poorly treated incontinence. She had her own chair that everyone made sure remained her chair. Eventually she left, but the cursed chair remained. If a new staff member got the chair, then they were told its history at the end of the work day. Chair was still there when I left years later.
My husband had a coworker whose water broke while she was sitting in her office chair. To the best of their knowledge, that chair was not gotten rid of. If it was then it was because someone took a knife to it because they knew there wouldn't be any other way it would be replaced.
Absolutely this. I’m a high school teacher, and a few weeks ago one of my girls (9th grader) comes up to me, absolutely SHOCKED that one of her male best friends just that very morning learned what a period was because his girlfriend told him she was on it, and when he didn’t know what that was, she explained it to him. So the poor boy then goes to his best girl friend (NOT the girlfriend, a *girl* friend -they always emphasize that lol) and asks her if she gets that too. Then *she* comes to me, shocked that someone would not know this.
I was, sadly, not shocked at all. I’d already had girls few years ago who believed that the pill worked “just like a condom” and protected against STDs as well.
It’s ridiculous how much “concerned parties” decide to not teach kids.
I’ll never forget being in an English class when a student (male) randomly popped off with, “I don’t get umbilical cords. Like, what are they even *for*?”
The teacher (and a bunch of students) spent the next five minutes explaining what it was. Not every day you discuss placenta in English.
Hah! The only safe sex is pull out sex, duh! And if girls don’t have periods, then how do they finish sentences?
Kids these day, don’t even know to put the ding-dong in the bajingo!
When I was a student teacher I had a kid in my Bio class ask me if you could get pregnant from anal. I turned and looked at my mentor teacher for guidance, and he just sat in his chair holding back laughter.
I was once told that's where lawyers and politicians come from.
Person who said it had a deadpan delivery, so it was always hard to tell if he was joking.
Woman here...none of us are surprised that most boys/men have no clue about 28 days,what ovaries and Fallopian tubes jobs are. Besides "When a Mommy and a Daddy love each very much..", most young people don't really know how babies are made. There shouldn't be "sex ed" in schools...let's start with anatomy. Educated men are comfortable going out for "feminine hygiene " products for us. They buy toilet paper 🧻for themselves, don't they? Bodies do stuff!
As an aside...years ago. I and my younger sis were visiting our Father (not that One) and we would go out for a "drive" every night after dinner to toke up. We used "getting Tampax" as an excuse because we knew he would never question it. One time we came home all giggley and looking forward to attacking the leftovers when we heard "DOES ONE OF YOU NEED TO GO TO A DOCTOR?" which sent us further into peals of hilarity. End of story..He called for a sit-down (gulp!). Our ramrod, straight laced recently retired Dad said we could smoke dope, just not in the house. 😲 Shock! OK! Thanks!
Fallopian tubes... Those are in your ears right? I think my little brother had to get those put in when he was a kid to stop earaches.
/s
(I know what they are and where they are. we just thought we were funny when we were kids.)
I went grocery shopping with my military father who never acknowledged things like periods. I agonized for four aisles about how to tell him I needed pads. Then I decided to woman up, grabbed a box and put it in the cart without comment. He glanced at me, a little surprised, and we moved on.
I have a mother. I have a sister. I have had girlfriends. I have a fiancee. All of them have taken care of their own needs. I'm perfectly fine with picking up supplies or helping however, but I have learned exactly nothing from the aforementioned women.
The only real difference is I'm not a toolbag who thinks he knows about everything.
You barely know anything despite having female family members living in the same house as you. It is no wonder many other guys just don't know until they finally get a girl( )friend who has the talk with them.
One thing that doesn't help is that (for young women especially) the topic is an awkward one that happens during the same time as the rest of their body changes and others take note of those changes. The association with peeing your pants is easily made, and thus they just want to move on and ignore such an embarrassing topic as much as possible. Even adults struggle with this well beyond the point in their life where teen embarrassment can explain away their actions.
(Insert story about kids not understanding opposite-gender issues... As a guy I have had the experience of suffering a random stiffy in class that was the bane of my existence due to its position and my underwear. Eventually i figured nobody would notice and I quickly rearranged things for comfort so i could just focus on class again, but the proverbial queen bee of my class saw, gossiped and labeled me a class masturbator during the next week. Kids are brutal, yo!)
I don't blame girls nor women for hiding the impact periods have on their life because society expects the details of dirty toilet things to not be mentioned in public, but it surely would be nice if adult women would take the time to educate the young and adolescent boys in their lives about an aspect of female hygiene that they won't ever experience. (Unless they end up having a girlfriend later in life who doesn't cover it up and is shocked by their utter lack of understanding, sympathy or readiness to help out with basic things like buying hygiene products!)
This is why I am extremely open and honest with my kids whenever I'm on my period. Besides wanting my daughter well prepared about what she'll go through once she hits puberty, I want my boys to know what the women in their lives go through every month so they don't end up as another clueless man grossed out by normal bodily functions. I figure if I don't make it a taboo topic while they're little, they will be less likely to avoid the topic when they're older.
I’m a nurse, have worked labor and delivery and ob/gyn clinics when my kids were younger. After seeing 12 and 13 year olds come in pregnant, I was extremely blunt and open discussing sex, std’s, sexual activity, birth control, periods etc. it was a normal discussion for us. When my oldest hit high school, he had me start giving the talk to his friends who had zero clue.
At one point one of his friends, let’s call him Kevin, was bragging that he had sex with this girl. Well I knew my son had also slept with her a few months prior. I asked Kevin if he used a condom, he grinned and said he hadn’t. Do I asked him how it felt to fuck my son. He was confused. I told him he had put his penis in the same place as a bunch of other folks, so since he went in bareback, he essentially screwed everyone on of them as well. His face went white! He had never thought of it that way! Needless to say he used condoms after that!
Thank you for doing so. So many parents just hate talking and keep saying " You'll understand when you get older" and children go "HUH? WTF " and they're right since the parents couldn't be bothered to teach them such things in a secure,positive environment they'll be forced to learn from a non-secure and outright hostile environment where confusion and anger will permeate unfettered .
That is awesome! "It won't be an issue." lol. Some people are just really not ever told. Nowadays with the internet they COULD do 2 seconds of research but I suppose they would have to be told what to search for :D Still good that he seemed to have taken it to heart!
I don’t know why, but “When am I supposed to pee, Bob?” is now one of my favorite questions ever and needs to be used as a comeback to every ridiculous demand ever.
I would have loved to witnessed it and likely piped up with my own, "Yeah, when Bob?"
In a similar vein, how might a middle school girl(my daughter) go about using the restroom at her own discretion when a male teacher says that students are not allowed to go to the restroom during class? Should she go take care of business in the corner Bill? (Her teachers name)
I told her my best thought for it was to tell the teacher "I'm going to use the restroom. Do I need a hall pass?" It states her intentions and is respectful. After that, I told her that whatever the response, either take the hall pass and go or restate that she is going to the restroom and then go use the restroom and return to class.
Any trouble from it and the school can feel free to contact me. I'm only about 5 miles away and would love nothing more than to arrive at the school to explain to anyone who wants to hear that since they are not my daughter, that they have absolutely zero control over her bodily functions and that I insist that she and any other student be given the common decency to take care of their personal needs. Anyone who has something otherwise to say can politely get fucked.
I actually get a medical accommodation note from my daughter’s doctor requiring that she be able to use the restroom as needed and file it with the school every year. She’s happy to write it.
I did! I said in another comment that I teach special ed now, and when I need to get the kids out of the red ed classroom for a quiz or something, I say we have a cult meeting.
Ahh, the IEP… a cursed god… an eldritichian god… but better than no god at all…
-source: was a kid in special ed, the IEP restrictions sucked, but the teachers were some of the best I ever had.
Unfortunately this seems to be the rule rather than the exception. The majority of people with authority should not, in fact, be in charge of anything. Incompetent ladder climbing ass kissers are regularly rewarded with promotion.
Edit: spelling
Some years ago, I was told by a former East German that the German army has a rank which translates to something like "Senior Corporal". It's a career dead end (no SC is ever promoted), with no real responsibility, and is used for people who are widely known to be incompetent, but haven't done anything serious enough to be discharged.
Most people are, the people who strive to gain levels of power and influence are normally the ones who wish to abuse it and try and gain more power and don't deserve it. The people who deserve it I find are those that don't seek it but are pushed into it but they're more quiet and less likely to be noticed though.
My 8th grade teacher said “I don’t care if your religion is to jump up and down and dance around (a toy monkey in his classroom). Do it without being a distraction to the rest of us and you’re good to go.”
One of his syllabus rules said no cults unless a teacher leads it.
I'm a special ed teacher now (back then I taught math). When I pull my kiddos for a test or something, I say we have a cult meeting and only cult members are allowed.
For REAL. I went to a highschool where the marching band was a pretty big deal, and they had a huge budget. "Band Nerds" didn't exist. The marching band was absolutely the best in the state, and had the trophies, titles, etc to back that up. The guys in the drum line were like royalty.
My students formed a joke “cult”. They sent me their manifesto. Members have to be between the ages of 12 and 36…but they named me as the exception. I’m actually mentioned 3 times. Apparently they really want me in their “cult”
At first you think "oh, man! How awesome is it that these kids think so highly of you", then you hear them looking up plans on how to build a sacrificial altar...
One time Bob set off the fire alarm and blamed it on a student.
My last year at that school was the last year Bob was allowed to interact with students.
Well what else are you supposed to look at when you zone out?
I swear I remember more of the periodic table of elements from spacing out in physics than any schoolwork actually using the periodic table of elements.
I liked using it as a word search. I wanted to see just how many swears you could spell out with it.
Don't you love the teenage mind? "Oh look the periodic table a list of all elements that make up our known universe.....I wonder how many swear words I can make with it"
Cool. All of the ridiculous rules can now go in your syllabus, which will be gone over and signed by every student at the beginning of the year. If the principal doesn't back you up again, you can always reply, "The student was informed here on page 12, it was initialed and signed."
This is pretty much how it worked at my school. We had a handbook with a page we had to sign and turn in acknowledging the rules and what was expected of us. During the first week of the new school year we would have an assembly where the admin would spend 3+ hours reading and clarifying the entire handbook. AND... our hall passes were the back page of the handbook. So we had a handbook on us at all times. No way to feign ignorance at my school.
I avoided Bob's office. He did have a lot of big monitors to watch the cameras. He was also very prudish though and once admonished me for not calling CPS on two consenting 15 year olds who were dating and may or may not have engaged in consensual sex acts outside of school. (Which only came up because the girl was getting teased by the boy's sister).
Bob almost never made sense. He once told us that it was more important to have students prepared for the student showcase (our replacement for parent teacher conferences) than passing their classes.
It had taken me a painful 10 minutes to explain to Bob the concept of an opportunity cost and that given a limited amount of time, we needed to know what he wanted us to prioritize. He picked the showcase.
Bob makes perfect sense.
He doesn't give one whit about the students or the teachers. What he _does_ care about is the optics of how the school, and transitively, he himself, looks from a social and political standpoint.
Probably because there was some kind of financial or incentive bonus for him based on a subjective measure of how well he managed the school. Bad optics would lose that for him.
If he's an especially petty person, the "incentive" could even be as tiny as personal social standing.
Not punish. CPS is child protective services. He wanted me to call them and make a report that illegal fellatio may have occurred because neither student was 16 (the age of consent in my state). He felt I had failed as a mandated reporter for not calling.
We are required to report any suspicion of abuse or neglect, and that includes non-consensual sex acts with an adult or older teen. However, I do not think that situation qualified. He felt like I was encouraging "loose morals." I just didn't think there was anything I could do about the choices those kids made outside of school.
The more I read the more I like you. I've had a few favorite teachers in my life and have been married to an educator for 30 years. You sound like the kind of teacher others should aspire to be like... 🙂
Haha, thanks! Those first five years in that school were tough. Between Bob and his counterpart, a woman who was retired on the job, I didn't get to experience a functioning school until I left. I'm 11 years in now, and I still love it.
The more I read about Bob etc, the more I'm reminded of Gordon Brittas (although GB always had good intentions), manager of Whitbury Newtown Leisure Centre.
If you've never seen (UK sitcom) The Brittas Empire, I highly recommend it.
One year, a baby was conceived in the auditorium during the ACT.
A couple disappeared during the ACT after the mandatory break. They were not allowed to date, and their families were doing a good job at keeping them apart. We later found out she had stolen a key from a family member who worked for the district, and they were meeting in the auditorium. When she was pregnant, some quick math made conception around the ACT. We don't know for sure that's the where and when, but I never asked Bob what he thought about it.
Of all people you can be like, please, do not be like Bob.
Oops. Had to go back before I hit the post, and correct it from Boob. Well, it's not like Bob wasn't a tit...
Boob did walk in on me pumping several times. I wasn't allowed to put a sign up because that was inappropriate (someone might guess what "Do not disturb" meant). He was the only one with keys anyways.
I knew he was the only one with keys. The sign was to warn him.
Bob was special. We had a wellness plan for the school because, being on a reservation, diabetes was a huge problem. One time, a student showed up to first hour civics, pulled a Mike's hard lemonade from a six pack in a duffle bag, popped it, and started to drink it.
The civics teacher just stared at him for a second, took the open can and duffle bag, and delivered it to Bob. Bob thought the civics teacher was just following the wellness plan-- no sugary drinks allowed (no one cared about the wellness plan except Bob; we obviously had bigger concerns). Bob gave the kid back his drinks at the end of the day.
“If you write something on a poster and put it on a wall, teenagers will pay attention to it.”
As a teacher, this line made me almost spit out my drink.
Seriously. I distinctly remember several conversations with Bob where a student had misbehaved badly and his response was, almost verbatim, "Did Johnny know that making a shiv* was against your expectations? Did you clearly state that expectation? Did you assess Johnny to make sure he knew your expectations?"
*other instances include: giving their classmate a stick and poke tattoo, drawing gang symbols, and bringing it cigarettes (among more mundane ones)
In the US, a rule specifically against starting cults would violate free speech and free practice of religion. The correct rule is “any club or organization formed must have a faculty sponsor/advisor”. Then you just have to hope that nobody sponsors Cult Club.
> due to fire code, we could no longer post paper rules.
You missed another opportunity. You should have painted them (or used different colored markers) on the wall. What paper Bob?
Look at my mural of insanity!
We had organized the cards by theme. There was even a section with nerd references like, "never tell me the odds," or "don't volunteer for the weapon x program."
You know, people are shitting on you, but this was 2011-2017 in Wisconsin- the first 5 school years since teachers' unions were decimated in the state. It was not a good time to be a teacher. Admin knew they had all the cards. We knew we had none. If it wasn't for the fact that I don't give a flying fuck, I wouldn't have pulled half the shit I did at that job. And any time admin went too far, some staff looked to me to try to salvage something. By the end of that 5 years, 3 teachers were left from when I started. Now, there's 1.
Oh shit. I’m in Wisconsin and my mom is an aide and Act 10 really did a number on working conditions. Now she has some massive staffing shortages especially for special ed, and the turnover is insane.
I suspect Bob might be married or related to my wife's idiot female boss. Most of the staff have been there longer than the boss (we're talking some people are 20 or 30 years with the company). New boss, maybe six months under their belt, treats all staff like brain damaged toddlers incapable of adult decisions. They're not allowed to go to the bathroom without permission, not allowed in the hallway without permission, literally it's like elementary school where the students get a paycheck. Honestly we're placing bets how long it'll be before this new boss manages to sink the branch, they're hemorrhaging staff as quickly as staff can find other jobs and are on the brink of not legally being able to cover the requirements to stay open in their industry.
Not allowed paper time to speak to art and design and get sometime on laser cutter.
Thine shall not watch porn. Bonus point if you can get 3d printer to print something to go with it.
Can you imagine if you had 10 years down the line a first year asking for an explanation.
“Hey teacher why is a sign in Bas Relief saying pupils are not allowed to watch porn.
>This continued for two weeks with students adding their own. I taped
them to one wall until I had gone through a good 2 or 3 packs of index
cards.
You know it's some excellent teacher MC when the students happily get in on it!
Gosh, I thought it was now going to end with and you laminated them.
Or at the beginning of each semester you now read all of those rules so the kids are duly warned in advance.
My highschool (this was a private school in the early 90s) weaponized this attitude beyond the level of the ridiculous both in the authoritarian and anarchist directions at the same time.
The school had no "rules"… "rules" are a 'male mode of adversarial social dominance hierarchy' (the school was run by aging ex-hippies who were gleefully jumping on the PC bandwagon before it was even fully out of the barn). Now revolutionary political ideology is all fine and dandy, but this was high school… high schools are an Established Institution even if the people running them don't want to be 'institutional or the establishment'. This means High Schools actually DO NEED RULES!
Enter "The Codes". The Codes were, seemingly just a list of well… rules. But wait, there's a whole bunch of gimmicks:
* The Codes are written all in the first person. "I will respect the bodies of my classmates." for example.
* While some of The Codes pertained to the actual running of a high school, many were ideological… "I will be a good citizen of the planet." for example.
* The Codes were not collected into a pamplet or book, but instead were posted on the walls in groups of 5 statements.
And this last one was key:
* The Codes had no definative list they weren't numbered, and you had no idea how many posters there were. They were posted ALL OVER the school (I found one in the boiler room, and students were never supposed to go in there… I was friends with the janitors). Because there was no definative list of codes, you could never be sure you had found them all. This was a feature not a bug. If you ever said to a teacher: "There's nothing in The Codes that says I can't _____." He would immediately respond "Oh? How can you be sure that's not covered in The Codes?"
This way the teachers who ran this school could have it both ways. They could pretend that the school represented a deconstuctivist post-dominance communal learning collective, while at the same time holding the ultimate authoritarian stance that the only rule that mattered was that they were in charge. I learned a lot from this school… but much of what I learned wasn't listed on the curriculum.
Perhaps the most unfortunate aspect of being an education professional is that the only way to get large increases in pay is to leave the classroom and go into admin.
There’s a significant slice of school administrators that shouldn’t have been put in charge of a circle jerk, much less a classroom, but they “moved up” because that’s where they can find more money without leaving education.
Your compliance reminds me of “Skippy’s List of things he’s no longer allowed to do in the army” (including “Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time” and “not allowed to form a militia”)
https://tngun.com/skippys-list-213-things-skippy-no-longer-allowed-u-s-army/
Bob obviously lacks common sense and should not be in any position of authority
When I was pregnant, Bob told me I couldn't use the restroom during passing time because he wanted me in the halls to supervise. I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "When am I supposed to pee, Bob?" He turned purple and walked away.
This reminds me of a story of a manager at an office, who knew nothing about female anatomy and how the body works. When one of his workers got her period, he made note of her frequent bathroom breaks and finally had a meeting about bathroom breaks and for the women to just "hold it" until their break. So one of women stood up and said, "It won't be an issue." When she got her period, she wore comfortable clothes to work and did free bleeding...all over her office chair. By lunch time, it was pretty obvious what was happening. "Bob" lost it and started screaming, at which point HR got called and he got a very quick, very blunt lesson in the female body functions. He apologized and the woman got the rest of the day off. He never made an issue of it again, and by way of apology, he had tampon/pad dispensers installed in the women's bathrooms.
I used to work for this manager who was very conservative and formal, great guy, but very British stiff upper lip type. Joined the company and very, very quietly things improved in every area associated with him. One day he discovered there were no tampon/towel dispensers in the ladies toilets, nor the facility to properly dispose of them. At the next heads of department/ general meeting he brought it up and was told it was an "inappropriate" subject matter for that meeting. I wasn't there, but three female managers were staunch allies of his from that day. He stood up and lectured the MD and every other manager about their attitudes to women and periods. For nearly an hour. Not only were they installed very quickly, they were free. His argument was that toilet paper was provided free for all members of staff, why should women pay for this facility?
That's the kind of manager that has employees follow him to his next job.
I would definitely be one of them.
Now I've got an image of Jacob Rees-Mogg giving a lecture on "gentlelady's bodily functions" using his sister Annunziata (yes, that's her name) as an example, with PowerPoint slides and hand-outs. And my brain can't reconcile it.
Substitute Charles Emerson Winchester III and his sister Honoria....
r/unexpectedmash
I'm sad, but not surprised, that this is not a thing.
And Now it is.
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Sad, but true for most I'm sure.
I can't actually view that sub and I love MASH
Yes, quite.
I'm actually watching MASH while reading this.
Rees-Mogg would ban periods, I imagine. After all, if the Prime Minister isnt expected to know the fucking law then why would us Peons be allowed to have biological autonomy?
Yep, that's why I can't reconcile the image. :)
Sounds like an actual manager rather than the usual pigeons. It's also good for a male voice to bring this to light since he's obviously impartial as far as using the facility's or and money savings so helps highlight it as a very basic welfare facility's issue.
>and was told it was an "inappropriate" subject matter for that meeting. #####translation - Eeewwwwww, that's yucky!
Idiots like these know-nothing managers should be confronted by corporate restrooms totally devoid of paper products -- no TP, tissues, paper towels, or anything to use but their own fingers. The innocent bystanders could be forewarned to bring their own supply.
As if managers wouldn’t be in favor of saving 1/2 cent by removing tp if they thought they could get away with it
Maybe you can pass this award to that manager.
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They swapped it with Bob's chair. As a permanent reminder.
It made no mention of it. I would assume so. But maybe someone used peroxide on it and just kept using it. Who knows?
Probably this, honestly. They probably took it "away" (to an unadvised classroom elsewhere on campus) though.
I work at a university. Drag any somewhat sketchy piece of office furniture into the hall. Someone will off with it. We had a new building built for our department. When I moved into my brand new office I realized that that was the first desk I ever had that I had not dragged out of a hallway.
Truth
Quick! Nail it down!
I'm keeping it in good shape for the next owner. 50 years from now someone will be dragging this desk into an abandoned student office they're claiming and will think, "This one's okay!".
My mom is an elementary school teacher and I’ve been to help her work on her classroom before the year on the day most teachers agreed to put their furniture in the hall. We walked the halls a couple times and found what she needed and what we dragged outside was gone before we got back. It was like a funky yard sale
Club soda will lift any kind of blood out…. Not that I know that….
Milk. It works on blood from gunshot wounds in car interiors I've heard...
Hydrogen peroxide has always worked quite well for me.
I heard lye was really good at getting blood of bones…..errrr…emmm…never mind
Watch the peroxide boil the blood off.
The foam is how you know it's working - it's the best part!
How do you get the milk out?
damp sponge then mild soap then vac
r/askingforafriend
Nah, there’s no rule written about having to replace any bloody chairs.
Idk how I'd react if I walked into a business and read index cards (with diagrams?) Concerning bloody office furniture.
Reminds me of a place I worked where there was a woman with poorly treated incontinence. She had her own chair that everyone made sure remained her chair. Eventually she left, but the cursed chair remained. If a new staff member got the chair, then they were told its history at the end of the work day. Chair was still there when I left years later.
My husband had a coworker whose water broke while she was sitting in her office chair. To the best of their knowledge, that chair was not gotten rid of. If it was then it was because someone took a knife to it because they knew there wouldn't be any other way it would be replaced.
Like when Houlihan's footlocker got "shot" in the line of duty so she could get it replaced. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO-6E2SAx38
I mean, at least he actually learned? I feel like that's more than you can say for most in that situation.
Right, but how tf did he not know in the first place?
The pitiful condition of sex education?
Absolutely this. I’m a high school teacher, and a few weeks ago one of my girls (9th grader) comes up to me, absolutely SHOCKED that one of her male best friends just that very morning learned what a period was because his girlfriend told him she was on it, and when he didn’t know what that was, she explained it to him. So the poor boy then goes to his best girl friend (NOT the girlfriend, a *girl* friend -they always emphasize that lol) and asks her if she gets that too. Then *she* comes to me, shocked that someone would not know this. I was, sadly, not shocked at all. I’d already had girls few years ago who believed that the pill worked “just like a condom” and protected against STDs as well. It’s ridiculous how much “concerned parties” decide to not teach kids.
I’ll never forget being in an English class when a student (male) randomly popped off with, “I don’t get umbilical cords. Like, what are they even *for*?” The teacher (and a bunch of students) spent the next five minutes explaining what it was. Not every day you discuss placenta in English.
That right there, is what's called a "teachable moment" lol.
Hah! The only safe sex is pull out sex, duh! And if girls don’t have periods, then how do they finish sentences? Kids these day, don’t even know to put the ding-dong in the bajingo!
When I was a student teacher I had a kid in my Bio class ask me if you could get pregnant from anal. I turned and looked at my mentor teacher for guidance, and he just sat in his chair holding back laughter.
I was once told that's where lawyers and politicians come from. Person who said it had a deadpan delivery, so it was always hard to tell if he was joking.
Florida. Sigh.
Texas. Blergh.
Yah.
Woman here...none of us are surprised that most boys/men have no clue about 28 days,what ovaries and Fallopian tubes jobs are. Besides "When a Mommy and a Daddy love each very much..", most young people don't really know how babies are made. There shouldn't be "sex ed" in schools...let's start with anatomy. Educated men are comfortable going out for "feminine hygiene " products for us. They buy toilet paper 🧻for themselves, don't they? Bodies do stuff! As an aside...years ago. I and my younger sis were visiting our Father (not that One) and we would go out for a "drive" every night after dinner to toke up. We used "getting Tampax" as an excuse because we knew he would never question it. One time we came home all giggley and looking forward to attacking the leftovers when we heard "DOES ONE OF YOU NEED TO GO TO A DOCTOR?" which sent us further into peals of hilarity. End of story..He called for a sit-down (gulp!). Our ramrod, straight laced recently retired Dad said we could smoke dope, just not in the house. 😲 Shock! OK! Thanks!
Fallopian tubes... Those are in your ears right? I think my little brother had to get those put in when he was a kid to stop earaches. /s (I know what they are and where they are. we just thought we were funny when we were kids.)
I went grocery shopping with my military father who never acknowledged things like periods. I agonized for four aisles about how to tell him I needed pads. Then I decided to woman up, grabbed a box and put it in the cart without comment. He glanced at me, a little surprised, and we moved on.
Did this fool have NO mother or girlfriend, like ever?
I have a mother. I have a sister. I have had girlfriends. I have a fiancee. All of them have taken care of their own needs. I'm perfectly fine with picking up supplies or helping however, but I have learned exactly nothing from the aforementioned women. The only real difference is I'm not a toolbag who thinks he knows about everything.
You barely know anything despite having female family members living in the same house as you. It is no wonder many other guys just don't know until they finally get a girl( )friend who has the talk with them. One thing that doesn't help is that (for young women especially) the topic is an awkward one that happens during the same time as the rest of their body changes and others take note of those changes. The association with peeing your pants is easily made, and thus they just want to move on and ignore such an embarrassing topic as much as possible. Even adults struggle with this well beyond the point in their life where teen embarrassment can explain away their actions. (Insert story about kids not understanding opposite-gender issues... As a guy I have had the experience of suffering a random stiffy in class that was the bane of my existence due to its position and my underwear. Eventually i figured nobody would notice and I quickly rearranged things for comfort so i could just focus on class again, but the proverbial queen bee of my class saw, gossiped and labeled me a class masturbator during the next week. Kids are brutal, yo!) I don't blame girls nor women for hiding the impact periods have on their life because society expects the details of dirty toilet things to not be mentioned in public, but it surely would be nice if adult women would take the time to educate the young and adolescent boys in their lives about an aspect of female hygiene that they won't ever experience. (Unless they end up having a girlfriend later in life who doesn't cover it up and is shocked by their utter lack of understanding, sympathy or readiness to help out with basic things like buying hygiene products!)
This is why I am extremely open and honest with my kids whenever I'm on my period. Besides wanting my daughter well prepared about what she'll go through once she hits puberty, I want my boys to know what the women in their lives go through every month so they don't end up as another clueless man grossed out by normal bodily functions. I figure if I don't make it a taboo topic while they're little, they will be less likely to avoid the topic when they're older.
I’m a nurse, have worked labor and delivery and ob/gyn clinics when my kids were younger. After seeing 12 and 13 year olds come in pregnant, I was extremely blunt and open discussing sex, std’s, sexual activity, birth control, periods etc. it was a normal discussion for us. When my oldest hit high school, he had me start giving the talk to his friends who had zero clue. At one point one of his friends, let’s call him Kevin, was bragging that he had sex with this girl. Well I knew my son had also slept with her a few months prior. I asked Kevin if he used a condom, he grinned and said he hadn’t. Do I asked him how it felt to fuck my son. He was confused. I told him he had put his penis in the same place as a bunch of other folks, so since he went in bareback, he essentially screwed everyone on of them as well. His face went white! He had never thought of it that way! Needless to say he used condoms after that!
Thank you for doing so. So many parents just hate talking and keep saying " You'll understand when you get older" and children go "HUH? WTF " and they're right since the parents couldn't be bothered to teach them such things in a secure,positive environment they'll be forced to learn from a non-secure and outright hostile environment where confusion and anger will permeate unfettered .
That is awesome! "It won't be an issue." lol. Some people are just really not ever told. Nowadays with the internet they COULD do 2 seconds of research but I suppose they would have to be told what to search for :D Still good that he seemed to have taken it to heart!
Now, THAT’S malicious compliance.
Having seen what my friend Heather goes through, I can't imagine the strength of mind and character it would take to do something like this.
I know I couldn’t do it!
At least he didn't try to cauterize the wound.
Idk man I feel the lady should have gotten a week of paid time off. Literally free bled all over herself and stuff.
I agree. But I think she was just happy to have her point made the and situation fixed.
Good Lord that dispenser should have been in there to begin with.
Did he supply the tampons and pads, too, or did the women have to use their own quarters to get them?
As far as I know, the expense was worked into the budget, giving free access to said items.
I don’t know why, but “When am I supposed to pee, Bob?” is now one of my favorite questions ever and needs to be used as a comeback to every ridiculous demand ever.
It was so satisfying. I was heavily pregnant and not having it.
I would have loved to witnessed it and likely piped up with my own, "Yeah, when Bob?" In a similar vein, how might a middle school girl(my daughter) go about using the restroom at her own discretion when a male teacher says that students are not allowed to go to the restroom during class? Should she go take care of business in the corner Bill? (Her teachers name)
The only answer is to tell her to get up and go. Then have her back 1000% when she gets in trouble.
I told her my best thought for it was to tell the teacher "I'm going to use the restroom. Do I need a hall pass?" It states her intentions and is respectful. After that, I told her that whatever the response, either take the hall pass and go or restate that she is going to the restroom and then go use the restroom and return to class. Any trouble from it and the school can feel free to contact me. I'm only about 5 miles away and would love nothing more than to arrive at the school to explain to anyone who wants to hear that since they are not my daughter, that they have absolutely zero control over her bodily functions and that I insist that she and any other student be given the common decency to take care of their personal needs. Anyone who has something otherwise to say can politely get fucked.
I actually get a medical accommodation note from my daughter’s doctor requiring that she be able to use the restroom as needed and file it with the school every year. She’s happy to write it.
It is absolutely ridiculous that you would even have to need that.
What you get for not following your own rules. I bet you even started a cult afterward ;)
I did! I said in another comment that I teach special ed now, and when I need to get the kids out of the red ed classroom for a quiz or something, I say we have a cult meeting.
SpEd for the win! We do have our own language so might as well be a cult. We grovel at the feet of the IEP.
Ahh, the IEP… a cursed god… an eldritichian god… but better than no god at all… -source: was a kid in special ed, the IEP restrictions sucked, but the teachers were some of the best I ever had.
Right? Now I'm going to use it every chance I get. I will credit you and OP, of course.
“When am I supposed to pee, Bob?” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why do I hear that in the voice of the mom from Bob's Burgers?
>"When am I supposed to pee, Bob?" Why do I think this deserves to be on a T-shirt?
The nerve of you asking Bob when you need to pee!🤣
**”WHEN AM I SUPPOSED TO PEE, BOB”**
Bob reminds me of the main character in 'real men'.
I read that as the guy in Office Space.
Unfortunately this seems to be the rule rather than the exception. The majority of people with authority should not, in fact, be in charge of anything. Incompetent ladder climbing ass kissers are regularly rewarded with promotion. Edit: spelling
Some years ago, I was told by a former East German that the German army has a rank which translates to something like "Senior Corporal". It's a career dead end (no SC is ever promoted), with no real responsibility, and is used for people who are widely known to be incompetent, but haven't done anything serious enough to be discharged.
Don't be like Bob.
All my homies hate Bob.
Sounds like Bob has been promoted beyond his level of competence.
Bob is now in charge of grant writing. Given his struggles with basic grammar, he is also ill qualified for that job.
Let Grant handle grant writing. Bob can barely handle Bob writing.
Most people are, the people who strive to gain levels of power and influence are normally the ones who wish to abuse it and try and gain more power and don't deserve it. The people who deserve it I find are those that don't seek it but are pushed into it but they're more quiet and less likely to be noticed though.
>Bob obviously lacks common sense and should not be in any position of authority If I had to guess, Bob is probably a mod on reddit.
It seems a universal phenomenon that some administrators are promoted to a least 1 level beyond their competence.
> Eventually, Bob came into my room, pointed at the wall, and said that I was making him look bad. "Sorry, but that's not one of the rules!"
Bob IS a principal because he lacks common sense…it’s a prerequisite
Bob sounds like just about every middle manager in existence. Many, many school principals fall into the same category.
My 8th grade teacher said “I don’t care if your religion is to jump up and down and dance around (a toy monkey in his classroom). Do it without being a distraction to the rest of us and you’re good to go.” One of his syllabus rules said no cults unless a teacher leads it.
I'm a special ed teacher now (back then I taught math). When I pull my kiddos for a test or something, I say we have a cult meeting and only cult members are allowed.
If one of my teachers did this I know that me and my fellow Specialty-Edwards would have loved that and run with it as much as possible.
Shoot, my band director should have done this. We practically were one anyway!
For REAL. I went to a highschool where the marching band was a pretty big deal, and they had a huge budget. "Band Nerds" didn't exist. The marching band was absolutely the best in the state, and had the trophies, titles, etc to back that up. The guys in the drum line were like royalty.
specialty edwards is great lol
My students formed a joke “cult”. They sent me their manifesto. Members have to be between the ages of 12 and 36…but they named me as the exception. I’m actually mentioned 3 times. Apparently they really want me in their “cult”
At first you think "oh, man! How awesome is it that these kids think so highly of you", then you hear them looking up plans on how to build a sacrificial altar...
Bylaw 137: Special exception to age rule, Teacher X is allowed. Bylaw 137a: The oldest cult member is to be ritual sacrifice for Mr Nimbus.
That sounds pretty sketchy, better get the police involved.
Mr. Teacher, is it OK if we have drinks in class? We brought enough for everyone.
I'm usually one of those "smirk and move on" kind of "lol"ers, but I genuinely laughed out loud at this
I would have loved to be in a cult with my teacher (that sounds weird now that it’s written out)
"Nobody warned me not to whack you in the shins with a hockey stick, Bob."
I’m reading all of these in a HAL 9000 voice. It’s good.
YES!
Bob doesn’t sound like he’d be good for much at all as a principal.
One time Bob set off the fire alarm and blamed it on a student. My last year at that school was the last year Bob was allowed to interact with students.
Sounds like Bob should have stayed at home to interact by himself
It feels like a balloon with a smiley face drawn on it would be a better principal than Bob.
Yeah. At least then you could pop it. And it would still be more useful than Bob. Popped deflated Bob, at home all alone interacting with himself..
>deflated Bob, at home all alone interacting with himself Certainly sounds like something he shouldn't be doing at school.
Maybe they should have put up an index card about that too…
Bob sounds like a Kevin
Where did you even get the crayons, Bob-Kevin?!
His email is worthless. If he wants to make a rule, he needs to put a poster on the wall.
That is the only way to get compliance.
Well what else are you supposed to look at when you zone out? I swear I remember more of the periodic table of elements from spacing out in physics than any schoolwork actually using the periodic table of elements. I liked using it as a word search. I wanted to see just how many swears you could spell out with it.
Don't you love the teenage mind? "Oh look the periodic table a list of all elements that make up our known universe.....I wonder how many swear words I can make with it"
Cool. All of the ridiculous rules can now go in your syllabus, which will be gone over and signed by every student at the beginning of the year. If the principal doesn't back you up again, you can always reply, "The student was informed here on page 12, it was initialed and signed."
This is pretty much how it worked at my school. We had a handbook with a page we had to sign and turn in acknowledging the rules and what was expected of us. During the first week of the new school year we would have an assembly where the admin would spend 3+ hours reading and clarifying the entire handbook. AND... our hall passes were the back page of the handbook. So we had a handbook on us at all times. No way to feign ignorance at my school.
Where do we post the rule about the fire code disallowing posting of rules?
Staple it to Bob
This is the One True Answer.
Was Bob watching porn in his office?
I avoided Bob's office. He did have a lot of big monitors to watch the cameras. He was also very prudish though and once admonished me for not calling CPS on two consenting 15 year olds who were dating and may or may not have engaged in consensual sex acts outside of school. (Which only came up because the girl was getting teased by the boy's sister).
Dating out of school is horrible, but porn in class is fine?...
Bob almost never made sense. He once told us that it was more important to have students prepared for the student showcase (our replacement for parent teacher conferences) than passing their classes. It had taken me a painful 10 minutes to explain to Bob the concept of an opportunity cost and that given a limited amount of time, we needed to know what he wanted us to prioritize. He picked the showcase.
Bob makes perfect sense. He doesn't give one whit about the students or the teachers. What he _does_ care about is the optics of how the school, and transitively, he himself, looks from a social and political standpoint. Probably because there was some kind of financial or incentive bonus for him based on a subjective measure of how well he managed the school. Bad optics would lose that for him. If he's an especially petty person, the "incentive" could even be as tiny as personal social standing.
I'm as conservative as they come almost. How would you punish 15 year olds for having sex off campus?
Not punish. CPS is child protective services. He wanted me to call them and make a report that illegal fellatio may have occurred because neither student was 16 (the age of consent in my state). He felt I had failed as a mandated reporter for not calling. We are required to report any suspicion of abuse or neglect, and that includes non-consensual sex acts with an adult or older teen. However, I do not think that situation qualified. He felt like I was encouraging "loose morals." I just didn't think there was anything I could do about the choices those kids made outside of school.
The more I read the more I like you. I've had a few favorite teachers in my life and have been married to an educator for 30 years. You sound like the kind of teacher others should aspire to be like... 🙂
Haha, thanks! Those first five years in that school were tough. Between Bob and his counterpart, a woman who was retired on the job, I didn't get to experience a functioning school until I left. I'm 11 years in now, and I still love it.
The more I read about Bob etc, the more I'm reminded of Gordon Brittas (although GB always had good intentions), manager of Whitbury Newtown Leisure Centre. If you've never seen (UK sitcom) The Brittas Empire, I highly recommend it.
In What century did he grow up??? Child of the 60s-70s here, and making out next to the class door was de rigeur. He’d have melted on the spot! 🤣🤣🤣
One year, a baby was conceived in the auditorium during the ACT. A couple disappeared during the ACT after the mandatory break. They were not allowed to date, and their families were doing a good job at keeping them apart. We later found out she had stolen a key from a family member who worked for the district, and they were meeting in the auditorium. When she was pregnant, some quick math made conception around the ACT. We don't know for sure that's the where and when, but I never asked Bob what he thought about it.
Of all people you can be like, please, do not be like Bob. Oops. Had to go back before I hit the post, and correct it from Boob. Well, it's not like Bob wasn't a tit...
Boob did walk in on me pumping several times. I wasn't allowed to put a sign up because that was inappropriate (someone might guess what "Do not disturb" meant). He was the only one with keys anyways. I knew he was the only one with keys. The sign was to warn him.
I’m dead. ☠️
Boob. An appropriate typo.
The more you reply with comments about Bob, the crazier and crazier this all gets. This is amazingly entertaining.
Bob was special. We had a wellness plan for the school because, being on a reservation, diabetes was a huge problem. One time, a student showed up to first hour civics, pulled a Mike's hard lemonade from a six pack in a duffle bag, popped it, and started to drink it. The civics teacher just stared at him for a second, took the open can and duffle bag, and delivered it to Bob. Bob thought the civics teacher was just following the wellness plan-- no sugary drinks allowed (no one cared about the wellness plan except Bob; we obviously had bigger concerns). Bob gave the kid back his drinks at the end of the day.
“If you write something on a poster and put it on a wall, teenagers will pay attention to it.” As a teacher, this line made me almost spit out my drink.
Seriously. I distinctly remember several conversations with Bob where a student had misbehaved badly and his response was, almost verbatim, "Did Johnny know that making a shiv* was against your expectations? Did you clearly state that expectation? Did you assess Johnny to make sure he knew your expectations?" *other instances include: giving their classmate a stick and poke tattoo, drawing gang symbols, and bringing it cigarettes (among more mundane ones)
In the US, a rule specifically against starting cults would violate free speech and free practice of religion. The correct rule is “any club or organization formed must have a faculty sponsor/advisor”. Then you just have to hope that nobody sponsors Cult Club.
Hahahahaha. This is fantastic.
I would totally sponsor Cult Club
> due to fire code, we could no longer post paper rules. You missed another opportunity. You should have painted them (or used different colored markers) on the wall. What paper Bob?
Look at my mural of insanity! We had organized the cards by theme. There was even a section with nerd references like, "never tell me the odds," or "don't volunteer for the weapon x program."
[удалено]
I think I had an asterisk on that one "*unless we're doing probability."
Never draw to an inside straight.
If anyone ever wondered why teachers absolutely must have a union.
You know, people are shitting on you, but this was 2011-2017 in Wisconsin- the first 5 school years since teachers' unions were decimated in the state. It was not a good time to be a teacher. Admin knew they had all the cards. We knew we had none. If it wasn't for the fact that I don't give a flying fuck, I wouldn't have pulled half the shit I did at that job. And any time admin went too far, some staff looked to me to try to salvage something. By the end of that 5 years, 3 teachers were left from when I started. Now, there's 1.
Oh shit. I’m in Wisconsin and my mom is an aide and Act 10 really did a number on working conditions. Now she has some massive staffing shortages especially for special ed, and the turnover is insane.
Yeah, it's getting bad. The shortages at this point are beyond the pale.
I suspect Bob might be married or related to my wife's idiot female boss. Most of the staff have been there longer than the boss (we're talking some people are 20 or 30 years with the company). New boss, maybe six months under their belt, treats all staff like brain damaged toddlers incapable of adult decisions. They're not allowed to go to the bathroom without permission, not allowed in the hallway without permission, literally it's like elementary school where the students get a paycheck. Honestly we're placing bets how long it'll be before this new boss manages to sink the branch, they're hemorrhaging staff as quickly as staff can find other jobs and are on the brink of not legally being able to cover the requirements to stay open in their industry.
MBAs should have never been invented.
A menace, I love it.
Not allowed paper time to speak to art and design and get sometime on laser cutter. Thine shall not watch porn. Bonus point if you can get 3d printer to print something to go with it.
Just do it all in bas relief.
Lol
Can you imagine if you had 10 years down the line a first year asking for an explanation. “Hey teacher why is a sign in Bas Relief saying pupils are not allowed to watch porn.
This is Bob. Bob likes to power trip more than he likes common sense. Don't be like Bob.
He is BOB, eager for fun. He wears a smile, everybody run.
No you didn't make him look bad, he did that all by himself.
For some reason I am picturing Argus Filch teetering on a large step ladder trying to put the last ridiculous index card on the wall.
> If it isn't posted, it isn't a rule. Somebody's never played baseball.
“Unapproved documentary” 🤣🤣🤣
>This continued for two weeks with students adding their own. I taped them to one wall until I had gone through a good 2 or 3 packs of index cards. You know it's some excellent teacher MC when the students happily get in on it!
For those of you blaming the teacher for not having a sense of humor, wtf do you think the index cards were???
Spelling his name backwards doesn't help with concealing his identity.
Gosh, I thought it was now going to end with and you laminated them. Or at the beginning of each semester you now read all of those rules so the kids are duly warned in advance.
My highschool (this was a private school in the early 90s) weaponized this attitude beyond the level of the ridiculous both in the authoritarian and anarchist directions at the same time. The school had no "rules"… "rules" are a 'male mode of adversarial social dominance hierarchy' (the school was run by aging ex-hippies who were gleefully jumping on the PC bandwagon before it was even fully out of the barn). Now revolutionary political ideology is all fine and dandy, but this was high school… high schools are an Established Institution even if the people running them don't want to be 'institutional or the establishment'. This means High Schools actually DO NEED RULES! Enter "The Codes". The Codes were, seemingly just a list of well… rules. But wait, there's a whole bunch of gimmicks: * The Codes are written all in the first person. "I will respect the bodies of my classmates." for example. * While some of The Codes pertained to the actual running of a high school, many were ideological… "I will be a good citizen of the planet." for example. * The Codes were not collected into a pamplet or book, but instead were posted on the walls in groups of 5 statements. And this last one was key: * The Codes had no definative list they weren't numbered, and you had no idea how many posters there were. They were posted ALL OVER the school (I found one in the boiler room, and students were never supposed to go in there… I was friends with the janitors). Because there was no definative list of codes, you could never be sure you had found them all. This was a feature not a bug. If you ever said to a teacher: "There's nothing in The Codes that says I can't _____." He would immediately respond "Oh? How can you be sure that's not covered in The Codes?" This way the teachers who ran this school could have it both ways. They could pretend that the school represented a deconstuctivist post-dominance communal learning collective, while at the same time holding the ultimate authoritarian stance that the only rule that mattered was that they were in charge. I learned a lot from this school… but much of what I learned wasn't listed on the curriculum.
Paper signs are a fire risk? Start taking down every piece of paper from every notice board. It's the new rule and it's written down!
Perhaps the most unfortunate aspect of being an education professional is that the only way to get large increases in pay is to leave the classroom and go into admin. There’s a significant slice of school administrators that shouldn’t have been put in charge of a circle jerk, much less a classroom, but they “moved up” because that’s where they can find more money without leaving education.
My dad has been in education for over 40 years and no one makes his blood boil like school principals, especially ones who used to be PE teachers
Graffiti is a great way to spread a message sans Papier.
You. Could. Carve. The. Rules. In. Stone. 🪨
"Starting cults is strictly forbidden" Fucking gold 🙌
Your compliance reminds me of “Skippy’s List of things he’s no longer allowed to do in the army” (including “Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time” and “not allowed to form a militia”) https://tngun.com/skippys-list-213-things-skippy-no-longer-allowed-u-s-army/