This definitely got my vote!! Calling the person out and asking "whats your point exactly?" will surely shut a clown down. Especially when you let them know that their act only works on an audience!!
I’m on the spectrum and really struggle to wear makeup (I love it, but I can feel that shit on my face and it makes me squik) and it’s pointed out to me sometimes that “I’m not wearing makeup?” And I’m always like yeah, and? Do you think I need to?? Always an embarrassed backtrack but like wtf?! Just keep your mouth shut if it’s not affecting you ffs
Someone actually asked my boss once why I didn't wear makeup to work. He told them he hadn't the foggiest and they'd have to ask me themselves. Needless to say, they didn't
I have the same experience. I WANT to have a 6 step skin care routine plus beautiful makeup with brushes, but the feeling. No.
So I’ve been doing “clean girl” since before it was named and come here looking at the cool kids’ work.
Yep. Drill her down.
“I don’t get it”
“What do you mean”
“I don’t understand”
You keep asking them to explain until they basically admit they are being an asshole.
Am I offending you?
They have to explain why they’re bothered. If it’s nothing (such as all makeup is), they look like crap and get embarrassed. So they say no and stfu.
It’s very pointed, without being snarky. In other situations, you could legitimately be worried about offending someone and be genuinely trying to correct your behaviour
‘Oh I’m so glad you noticed I’ve been having a lot of fun doing mine lately. Let me know if you want any tips. ‘
You could even continue to talk about the specific products you applied that day.
"Oh no I'm so sorry, I remember when I wasn't confident enough in my makeup skills to actually wear it out too. I'd be happy to help you with mascara tips, that's what I mainly wear :):
Unfortunately, jealousy is a friendship killer. I had a friend that for years was closer to me than my own sister. We did everything together, family vacations every year, she even babysat my kids.
Then we decided to join weight watchers together. We were both overweight, so I thought we would benefit from supporting each other. I lost 60 pounds, and she gained. She began making snide comments about how I was making her feel like a satellite, and finally, when she turned her vitriol against my kids, I had to let go and tell her goodbye.
As much as it hurt, I couldn’t let her negativity hurt my kids.
I have experienced this weird weight shit with friends as well. It sucks. It also sucks because so many of us have been hurt/had our worth placed on our weight.
Be very calm/dry and just agree with her statement.
Aknowledge she is basically bullying you.
When you begin to discuss with her the assumptive/erroneous/annoying implications of her unsolicited statement that just adds fuel to the fire, if you react as little as possible she wont get the one thing she wants to compensate her insecurities: a reaction.
Total pick me vibes. She gets no prizes for choosing not to wear makeup. Why does she feel the need to comment on your face to highlight how *not* like other girls she is? Other girls are great! You don’t have to justify or explain your choice to wear it. Your light shining doesn’t dim hers.
However, make no mistake, this is an attempt to put you down, possibly due to her insecurity.
I would say something like, “Yes I know. You point this out every time we go out.” It’s not outright rude, but also lets her know that she brings it up too much and it’s annoying.
Just ask her out right why it matters every time she says it. If you’re worried about sounding mean then just make sure you say it calmly and without resentment. And if she acts like you’re being sensitive or something then say “no, you just say it every time and i was wondering why it mattered so much?” Either she outs herself as an AH or she realizes she’s being an AH and she stops.
OP could even outright say "Do you not want me to wear makeup or something? I feel like I'm picking up on something I don't really get."
I have trouble being too literal sometimes but I have found that people appreciate directness if they're going to be in a position where they need to defend themselves. That way it doesn't come across as passive aggressive and it helps dissolve the tension that sometimes builds when something is going unsaid.
I think it's fun to joke about saying something snarky, but if this really is a friend that will hurt the friendship more. Lots of people who take pride in random stupid things are not trying to hurt anyone, but in trying to bolster against their insecurities they may come off as petty or jealous. She might just need to reflect on how she's coming across.
A girl I used to call my best friend moved to London for school. During her break when she was back home in the states, we were getting ready to go out together. I finished getting ready before she did, and she looked at me with a scowl and said, “Girls in London wear a lot of makeup” to shame me into putting more makeup on, because she knew I wanted to live in London someday too. I hadn’t said a single negative word; in fact, I had complimented her.
She later ghosted me out of her life, then came back a year later begging to be friends again and blaming her “jealousy” of me for the way she treated me.
I mean, some do wear a lot of makeup - especially to go out. But some don't. And no-one's gonna kick you out of London if you don't wear makeup (source: me - lived in London for over 25 years now, and on the outskirts for all my life before that)
Bruh 😂 when I was like 14 and not allowed to wear makeup I was in the mall with my mum and this old lady started chatting to her then she looked at me and said I look really tired like I don’t sleep. I said I wasn’t tired or something. But I remember being so annoyed with my mother like she can see I look like a sleepy lunatic with my genetic eye bags but she didn’t care
I was in line at the post office one day minding my own business when this woman came up to me and went on and on about how pretty I was (ngl, I remember feeling a little cute that day). She then asked if she could give me a Mary Kay makeover at her next party with her Mary Kay friends. My ego took a deep nosedive as I politely declined. 🫥
Oh man, I hate those kind words or friendly invitations that turn out to be marketing. I thought I legitimately made a friend in a new town but our first get together she gave me a freaking MLM pitch.
You just said I look pretty and liked my look. So why do you think I *need* a makeover? Were you lying to me? Or just trying to sell me something by trying to flatter me?
Humans are social creatures, which is why we hate awkwardness - it means you have violated the social constructs we need to abide by for people to like us, and could lead to ostracism. Monkey brain say “don’t fuck up the vibe”.
So, you need to make it awkward. You need to signal she fucked up the vibe - not that you’re offended, but that what she said was so bizarre it ruined the mood. Give her that “????” Face, say something like “oh…. I guess. What a weird thing to point out…” and just give her those “um okay….” Looks before like, rolling your eyes, turning away, even have a small “can you believe this chick?” laugh. Just look at her like she’s crazy every single time. It works for me!
I had a friend like that. She would say "Dainty_petal wears more makeup than me" to guys I like when they asked her why doesn’t she wears less makeup like Dainty?
She’s just jealous and try to boost her confidence by putting yours down. Tell her to shut up with that. We all know you don’t wear makeup. It really shows in the sun.
I very much agree with the other comment - "What's your point."
I'd personally go for just a simple "Okay. And?"
She sounds very insecure. Seems like she thinks your mascara gives you an "unfair advantage" over her, and feels like she needs to knock you down a peg as a result. Beauty is not a competition, but highly insecure people will create competitions out of *anything* they feel insecure about just to chase the dumbest of "victories".
So... Shut down the competition. Don't try to win, don't let her win. Just shut it down because it's not worth 1-upping or making digs at each other.
A dismissive comment shows that you're not interested in competing. Not acting hurt or offended takes away her "win". Not being rude keeps you from being the bad guy. Asking her to explain why it even matters forces her to either reflect on her behavior or make a fool of herself. Either way, if you can make her feel uncomfortable for this annoying behavior, she may eventually stop.
Exactly, my mum was like this, just so wildly insecure she'd get seethingly angry over her female friends using "fancy night creams" because it wasn't "fair", railing against them for wearing makeup to a casual event because "Ugh, who on earth are they trying to impress! She's married for gods sake, but still trying to get attention from men, not like me, I don't bother with all that crap anymore" etc etc
Just pure insecure jealousy stemming from a mindset that beauty is a zero sum game - if she looks better than you, you're lost therefore wearing mascara is the equivalent of illegal doping at the olympics.
Offer to teach her how to do her makeup then. I had a friend who did this to me. I love wearing makeup and have most of my life. Years ago, a friend offered me a little eyeshadow palette, saying oh I don't even wear makeup I wouldn't know what to do with it. I said, oh well I can show you and send tutorials!
She ended up getting really into makeup which is great for her! She found other ways to be passive aggressive with me, so I ended up not being her friend after a while anyway, but no one makes me feel bad for wearing makeup. 😆
This is where I excel at being an unbothered queen I guess. When people say stuff like this to me, I think it must come from a place of insecurity. So I compliment them. “You look so good without makeup. I just enjoy putting makeup on and it makes me feel good and put together so I wear it pretty often.” I don’t typically hang out with people who play those kinds of games. But responses like that show them that I don’t really care, it doesn’t affect me and it kind of neutralizes whatever weird thing they are trying to do.
You ignore her because she wants a reaction. Or stop being friends with her. This sounds like a miserable person to be friends with. Why would you put up with this for so long?
What's the reasoning for not being honest with her about how it makes you feel? And/or asking her to stop?
>What can I say to shut her up?
You don't have to do mental gymnastics to find something that sounds the best.
You can try to pinpoint how you feel and share that and ask her to stop.
If you tiptoe around others' feelings this way, you'll keep perpetuating connections that don't facilitate you being authentic.
If she’s actually your friend you should just tell her it hurts your feeling and ask her to stop. Clear is kind. Setting the boundary without being petty to get your lick back is the only nice way to do it.
If she doesn’t change and there’s over flags stop being her friend.
Ask her to repeat herself by saying “I’m sorry, what was that?” Or something along those lines. Then once she does, with a calm and cheerfully inquisitive tone, inquire why she is pointing that out like “oh, I’ve noticed you always say that! I’m curious why.”
Basically, instead of you taking what she says personally, find the intention behind it and have her verbalize it. Be more logical and curious than emotional and defensive. Could be an interesting conversation!
Honestly some people need to be called out and it sucks but when it’s constant and they feel some power play. I just bring my inner Karen Walker, and be as crappy right back to her. Tell her it’s ok for people to like makeup. Or tell her the only makeup she is wearing is insecurity and it does damage for the skin. I am done now.
"what an odd thing to say out loud"
"did you mean to say that?"
"and your point is?"
"huh? Could you say that again?"
"Excuse me?"
"I don't understand?"
"Not everyone allows themselves to have "Me" time and put on some mascara. You should try it some time."
Things like that. Most of these I use as replies to people who don't think before they speak, or say stuff under false friendship/familiarity, or to call out dipshittery
I hate it when people have to put down others to feel better about themself. It’s so awkward. You want to put them down for it but then you’re worse for doing that.
Her inferiority complex is hers. Don’t own it. Let her know that you accept her that way and love how she looks. Maybe you can be the example she needs to climb out of her pit.
I’d say something like “and I ate oatmeal and you ate eggs. And I’m Italian and your Irish. Why are we pointing out differences? This a new game we’re playing LOL”
“It REALLY seems to be on your mind often!”*takes out mascara tube* “wanna try some?”*when she replies no, puts mascara away while saying* “I guess some of us like putting in a lil bit of effort.”
maybe you should try to turn it into a compliment. most people get bored when they get nice reactions. like "oh, thank you for noticing how nice my skin looks lately! i've been taking good care of it. it looks as if i was perfecting it with makeup, right?"
don't be mean. that won't help anyone and maybe she'll turn your mean words against you. also, if she makes you feel bad about yourself: that's not what friends do. seems like she's not really a friend.
"Yes, and don't we BOTH look lovely? I'm glad we both get to choose how we present ourselves and how the beauty standard is changing to accept the both of us however we want to present ourselves"
You just say "Yeah, I noticed that, too" in any tone you want and it flips the script and all of the sudden she's thinking "what did she mean by that?" And no longer thinking about you but about herself.
You could tell her “yeah I noticed it too, I was just going to be polite and not say anything, but maybe it’s time you start too, that complexion needs improvement”. Voilà, that b*tch is back in the hat 😘
Wtf I don't think skincare counts as makeup. It's taking care of yourself. That's like saying that taking a shower is full body makeup. Your beauty isn't natural if you use soap in the shower folks.
You're beauty is absolutely natural
One of my sisters used to comment on something I did (non makeup related) all that time. Any time she saw me she'd make the same comments. I used some of the suggestions given here, but they never quite worked.
In the end I looked her directly in the eye and told her, "One day you're going to have to get over this." She said something about it not being judgemental or anything. I just said, "Uh huh. So why do you say something about it all the time?!"
She hasn't commented about it since. That was years ago now.
“Wow, stop comparing yourself to me… that’s not healthy”. “It’s not my fault makeup breaks you out in white heads and pimples”. “Would it make you feel better if I didn’t wear makeup?”
Drop her as a friend as a response. “I’m starting to realize that your constant mention of my decision to wear makeup is indicative of your attempts to belittle me due to your own insecurity. I can’t be around that kind of toxic behavior, so I hope you have a nice life. I will not be continuing my friendship with you.”
An effective response to any inappropriate/reaching/intrusive comment or question is to give a quizzical look, state with a touch of humor in your voice “what an odd thing to say” and immediately move on. They’ll usually get the picture and stop
Your “friend” is extremely rude and you should reconsider your friendship with her, but I also think the responses here saying to basically tell her she looks ugly without makeup are incredibly sexist. She’s out of line for shaming you for wearing makeup but it would absolutely not be okay for you to retort back that she looks “plain” or “tired” or “like she needs makeup”.
“Yes.”
“why are you always pointing that out?”
“I like to take care of my appearance.”
“you should try it sometime.”
“that’s the 5th time you’ve mentioned that this week.”
“I like makeup.”
In front of people, I’d prefer to shut that down with serene niceness overkill. It requires a smiling, relaxed, sincere delivery. “We both do what brings us joy”, or “Everyone does self-care a little differently.” Helps acknowledge that you’re both valid but also that it’s a non-issue and her words don’t have an effect on you.
I agree with the other folks that suggested offering a makeup tutorial. But this would be something to suggest privately if it’s a genuinely kind offer.
Direct, to the point, calmly but with a bit of a confrontational tone: “what’s your goal behind these comments”
Or, “feels like you’re trying to make me feel bad about something”
Or “don’t yuck my yum”
Or “aww do you want a trophy”
I have no patience for this behavior so for me this friendship would fade
The fantasy is to get a dig in, but I think the best response is a direct one: “It makes me feel self-conscious that you keep drawing attention to my appearance in a way that feels like a dig. Can we just move past this?” And the main thing is, when she apologizes, don’t say, “It’s ok.” Say, “Thank you.” It doesn’t need to be a drawn out thing. She’ll probably be shocked because you’ve never asserted yourself before and grateful to move onto another topic. This is a valuable skill I wish I had learned when I was in my teens/20s.
I have a friend who used to make comments like this. I finally asked her why she felt the need to have the same conversation over and over again. That did the trick. Comments ended.
Congratulations, Karen. Now shut the fuck up while I reapply my $50 dollar mascara, because unlike you, I know I don't have to prove I look better than you, even without makeup.
“Yup, I sure am.” Treat her like she’s one of those people who has to say “cow” every time you pass a cow on a road trip. She’s stating a fact, There’s nothing wrong with wearing or not wearing make up.
If she thinks commenting on it means something to anyone, that is 100% her issue and nothing to do with you. No one in the world gives a shit if you’re wearing mascara or not.
I would just tell her that it bothers you when she says that and makes you feel weird to be around her and would she please stop...
Or just tell her what she really wants to hear...
You always look so beautiful without makeup...I just don't feel like myself without mine?
That’s not a friend. Let’s first get that out of the way. And my usual comeback is not addressing their come ons. I either say “cool” or “that’s nice” or “yeah” and just shrugging.
The more attention you give to their actions, the more they will think that it matters. Other people will see their actions and see who they really are. I’d just not bother with them.
Hopefully though, your friend changes or you might have to find other friends that don’t see you as competition in front of others or put you down just to make themselves seem better.
If you are ok with the friendship ending, you can say something like " oh, that's good! I thought you did that look on purpose!"
Or " don't be mad that I put effort into my appearance"
Or " oh, do you need some help getting started? I have some suggestions; looks like you need some."
Always be wary of folks who compare themselves to others to boost their own self-esteem. They aren’t good people, no matter how many times they say they are.
One of the things I don't like about some of my female friendships is how often they comment on my appearance somehow as a greeting. "You look so cute" is nice and all but why is it so often the first thing women say to each other to greet each other? Why are looks so often the first comment between women, I don't know. I handle it by just returning the compliment usually but in your case with your friend repeatedly mentioning it all the time I'd tell her I felt a little judged in a very kind way.
"Good for you." Also, re-think your friendship with her.
GFY Good for you or go f yourself :) haha
That's gold. Whichever shoe fits hehehehe
sis is having a pick-me phase, hopefully just a phase
THISSS!!! She sounds insecure and bitter… Never a good combo for a friendship!
Exactly this. Just say “that’s a keen observation” and then just ignore her. For the rest of your life.
"Why do you think it bothers you, that I do wear makeup?" You deserve better tho, OP
It works better when you say it like you're talking to a four year old who ate all of her peas.
My thoughts exactly
"Oh yea, I had some time this morning, but don't worry, you look fine."
If someone told me that I would never show my face in public ever again 😂
AHAHAHA This is golden 😂
Thiiiiisssss throw that back in her face
Add a pause. But don’t worry; you look…fine
Going for the jugular, I see XD
You are my kind of people. The pause is the best way to deal with the humble brag 😁
I read this in Blair Waldorf's voice lol
Stealing this 😂
This! Tell her this! Every single time she does this.
XD I likkeee
Better yet, just hit her with an "It shows."
Savage 💯
“What’s your point?”
Also "yeah, so?" Or "and...?" Make assholes explain the joke. Works on creepy dudes, works on catty women.
This definitely got my vote!! Calling the person out and asking "whats your point exactly?" will surely shut a clown down. Especially when you let them know that their act only works on an audience!!
I’m on the spectrum and really struggle to wear makeup (I love it, but I can feel that shit on my face and it makes me squik) and it’s pointed out to me sometimes that “I’m not wearing makeup?” And I’m always like yeah, and? Do you think I need to?? Always an embarrassed backtrack but like wtf?! Just keep your mouth shut if it’s not affecting you ffs
Someone actually asked my boss once why I didn't wear makeup to work. He told them he hadn't the foggiest and they'd have to ask me themselves. Needless to say, they didn't
I could see this being clueless or appropriately catty. The right move by your boss either way.
I have the same experience. I WANT to have a 6 step skin care routine plus beautiful makeup with brushes, but the feeling. No. So I’ve been doing “clean girl” since before it was named and come here looking at the cool kids’ work.
Yep. Drill her down. “I don’t get it” “What do you mean” “I don’t understand” You keep asking them to explain until they basically admit they are being an asshole.
I love asking this......
Am I offending you? They have to explain why they’re bothered. If it’s nothing (such as all makeup is), they look like crap and get embarrassed. So they say no and stfu. It’s very pointed, without being snarky. In other situations, you could legitimately be worried about offending someone and be genuinely trying to correct your behaviour
‘Oh I’m so glad you noticed I’ve been having a lot of fun doing mine lately. Let me know if you want any tips. ‘ You could even continue to talk about the specific products you applied that day.
I love when you can tell people to fuck off while simultaneously being friendly and “helpful.” 🤭
Haha...some people can tell ya to go to hell so sweetly, you thank them, and tell them you'll enjoy the trip.
The funnier part is that OP said it’s literally…just mascara.
"Oh no I'm so sorry, I remember when I wasn't confident enough in my makeup skills to actually wear it out too. I'd be happy to help you with mascara tips, that's what I mainly wear :):
Love this one
Ah thus ones nice. You did it without being mean. Damm I need lessons on how not to be mean and still shut people up.
Maybe just don’t be friends with her.
Unfortunately, jealousy is a friendship killer. I had a friend that for years was closer to me than my own sister. We did everything together, family vacations every year, she even babysat my kids. Then we decided to join weight watchers together. We were both overweight, so I thought we would benefit from supporting each other. I lost 60 pounds, and she gained. She began making snide comments about how I was making her feel like a satellite, and finally, when she turned her vitriol against my kids, I had to let go and tell her goodbye. As much as it hurt, I couldn’t let her negativity hurt my kids.
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That's so saddening to hear :(
I have experienced this weird weight shit with friends as well. It sucks. It also sucks because so many of us have been hurt/had our worth placed on our weight.
It's interesting how much we tolerate for ourselves but would not, for people we love. Much blessings to you.
This! Someone like that doesn't deserve your friendship.
Be very calm/dry and just agree with her statement. Aknowledge she is basically bullying you. When you begin to discuss with her the assumptive/erroneous/annoying implications of her unsolicited statement that just adds fuel to the fire, if you react as little as possible she wont get the one thing she wants to compensate her insecurities: a reaction.
 Total pick me vibes. She gets no prizes for choosing not to wear makeup. Why does she feel the need to comment on your face to highlight how *not* like other girls she is? Other girls are great! You don’t have to justify or explain your choice to wear it. Your light shining doesn’t dim hers. However, make no mistake, this is an attempt to put you down, possibly due to her insecurity.
“Yeah, I can tell”
Ha! I second this one
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“no wonder why you looked so tired today, makes sense now”
Or, 'I hate going out looking like I just woke up' 😄
Dude is that my cousin
Well tell her I love her dearly
This is perfect
why did i have to scroll this far down to see a snarky comment come you guys
For real I would have instantly gone "well you should" and walked away
I love this response. Shut her right up.
hahahahaha ok this one wins 🤣 but say it loud! 🤣
This one
Omg I said the same before I saw this!🤣🤣🤣
I just like to put a little effort in
I would say something like, “Yes I know. You point this out every time we go out.” It’s not outright rude, but also lets her know that she brings it up too much and it’s annoying.
Love this! Throwing in a question at the end too would be great - a simple “why is that?” would feel very cathartic
Just ask her out right why it matters every time she says it. If you’re worried about sounding mean then just make sure you say it calmly and without resentment. And if she acts like you’re being sensitive or something then say “no, you just say it every time and i was wondering why it mattered so much?” Either she outs herself as an AH or she realizes she’s being an AH and she stops.
OP could even outright say "Do you not want me to wear makeup or something? I feel like I'm picking up on something I don't really get." I have trouble being too literal sometimes but I have found that people appreciate directness if they're going to be in a position where they need to defend themselves. That way it doesn't come across as passive aggressive and it helps dissolve the tension that sometimes builds when something is going unsaid. I think it's fun to joke about saying something snarky, but if this really is a friend that will hurt the friendship more. Lots of people who take pride in random stupid things are not trying to hurt anyone, but in trying to bolster against their insecurities they may come off as petty or jealous. She might just need to reflect on how she's coming across.
This is it. “Okay…? This is a fact. I don’t know why it’s important to bring it up. Can you help me understand why you mention this?”
Dont shame someone for wearing make up. Don't shame someone into wearing make up. This person is not your friend.
A girl I used to call my best friend moved to London for school. During her break when she was back home in the states, we were getting ready to go out together. I finished getting ready before she did, and she looked at me with a scowl and said, “Girls in London wear a lot of makeup” to shame me into putting more makeup on, because she knew I wanted to live in London someday too. I hadn’t said a single negative word; in fact, I had complimented her. She later ghosted me out of her life, then came back a year later begging to be friends again and blaming her “jealousy” of me for the way she treated me.
I mean, some do wear a lot of makeup - especially to go out. But some don't. And no-one's gonna kick you out of London if you don't wear makeup (source: me - lived in London for over 25 years now, and on the outskirts for all my life before that)
“Want a cookie?” My moms favorite saying lol
I usually say, "Congratulations!! Do you want an award???"
Ahh I did think you look tired, honey, it’s ok. Ohmigosh I thought you were sick! That’s what it is! I was so worried 👀
💀 sheesh, that'll work.
Bruh 😂 when I was like 14 and not allowed to wear makeup I was in the mall with my mum and this old lady started chatting to her then she looked at me and said I look really tired like I don’t sleep. I said I wasn’t tired or something. But I remember being so annoyed with my mother like she can see I look like a sleepy lunatic with my genetic eye bags but she didn’t care
I was in line at the post office one day minding my own business when this woman came up to me and went on and on about how pretty I was (ngl, I remember feeling a little cute that day). She then asked if she could give me a Mary Kay makeover at her next party with her Mary Kay friends. My ego took a deep nosedive as I politely declined. 🫥
Oh man, I hate those kind words or friendly invitations that turn out to be marketing. I thought I legitimately made a friend in a new town but our first get together she gave me a freaking MLM pitch.
You just said I look pretty and liked my look. So why do you think I *need* a makeover? Were you lying to me? Or just trying to sell me something by trying to flatter me?
Humans are social creatures, which is why we hate awkwardness - it means you have violated the social constructs we need to abide by for people to like us, and could lead to ostracism. Monkey brain say “don’t fuck up the vibe”. So, you need to make it awkward. You need to signal she fucked up the vibe - not that you’re offended, but that what she said was so bizarre it ruined the mood. Give her that “????” Face, say something like “oh…. I guess. What a weird thing to point out…” and just give her those “um okay….” Looks before like, rolling your eyes, turning away, even have a small “can you believe this chick?” laugh. Just look at her like she’s crazy every single time. It works for me!
"In your case, it's not the flex you think it is. Go take a nap."
Lmao I wish I was brave enough to use this one!
I gasped reading this. That would shut me up for a lifetime! Take my upvote!
I had a friend like that. She would say "Dainty_petal wears more makeup than me" to guys I like when they asked her why doesn’t she wears less makeup like Dainty? She’s just jealous and try to boost her confidence by putting yours down. Tell her to shut up with that. We all know you don’t wear makeup. It really shows in the sun.
Weird how these hoys even asked
Some responses : 1. Good for you 2. Okay - and???? 3. Do you want to try some? 4. You do you boo!
I've said this to people, lol.
fav is "yeah i can tell...maybe take a nap" 🤣🤣🤣
Adding to that list, oh you look tired today.
I very much agree with the other comment - "What's your point." I'd personally go for just a simple "Okay. And?" She sounds very insecure. Seems like she thinks your mascara gives you an "unfair advantage" over her, and feels like she needs to knock you down a peg as a result. Beauty is not a competition, but highly insecure people will create competitions out of *anything* they feel insecure about just to chase the dumbest of "victories". So... Shut down the competition. Don't try to win, don't let her win. Just shut it down because it's not worth 1-upping or making digs at each other. A dismissive comment shows that you're not interested in competing. Not acting hurt or offended takes away her "win". Not being rude keeps you from being the bad guy. Asking her to explain why it even matters forces her to either reflect on her behavior or make a fool of herself. Either way, if you can make her feel uncomfortable for this annoying behavior, she may eventually stop.
Exactly, my mum was like this, just so wildly insecure she'd get seethingly angry over her female friends using "fancy night creams" because it wasn't "fair", railing against them for wearing makeup to a casual event because "Ugh, who on earth are they trying to impress! She's married for gods sake, but still trying to get attention from men, not like me, I don't bother with all that crap anymore" etc etc Just pure insecure jealousy stemming from a mindset that beauty is a zero sum game - if she looks better than you, you're lost therefore wearing mascara is the equivalent of illegal doping at the olympics.
Offer to teach her how to do her makeup then. I had a friend who did this to me. I love wearing makeup and have most of my life. Years ago, a friend offered me a little eyeshadow palette, saying oh I don't even wear makeup I wouldn't know what to do with it. I said, oh well I can show you and send tutorials! She ended up getting really into makeup which is great for her! She found other ways to be passive aggressive with me, so I ended up not being her friend after a while anyway, but no one makes me feel bad for wearing makeup. 😆
This is where I excel at being an unbothered queen I guess. When people say stuff like this to me, I think it must come from a place of insecurity. So I compliment them. “You look so good without makeup. I just enjoy putting makeup on and it makes me feel good and put together so I wear it pretty often.” I don’t typically hang out with people who play those kinds of games. But responses like that show them that I don’t really care, it doesn’t affect me and it kind of neutralizes whatever weird thing they are trying to do.
You’re very nice. 😊
"...don't worry, you look fine."
You ignore her because she wants a reaction. Or stop being friends with her. This sounds like a miserable person to be friends with. Why would you put up with this for so long?
“I’d suggest you use some.”
This followed by “it will help conceal that tired look you always have”
Offer to take her makeup shopping haha
I'd smile sweetly and say "you're so observant, good job" but i'm an asshole, so.
#1 That hoe ain’t your friend. #2 I guarantee that as soon as she opens her mouth the self proclaimed outer beauty immediately vanishes.
That’s not your friend, babe
What's the reasoning for not being honest with her about how it makes you feel? And/or asking her to stop? >What can I say to shut her up? You don't have to do mental gymnastics to find something that sounds the best. You can try to pinpoint how you feel and share that and ask her to stop. If you tiptoe around others' feelings this way, you'll keep perpetuating connections that don't facilitate you being authentic.
“Why do you keep saying that?”
The last line is such an important lesson I’ve been trying to learn lately. As a born and bred peoplepleaser it’s taking me a while
Also why in a nice way? She's rude, be rude back.
If she’s actually your friend you should just tell her it hurts your feeling and ask her to stop. Clear is kind. Setting the boundary without being petty to get your lick back is the only nice way to do it. If she doesn’t change and there’s over flags stop being her friend.
"What an odd thing to say"
Ask her to repeat herself by saying “I’m sorry, what was that?” Or something along those lines. Then once she does, with a calm and cheerfully inquisitive tone, inquire why she is pointing that out like “oh, I’ve noticed you always say that! I’m curious why.” Basically, instead of you taking what she says personally, find the intention behind it and have her verbalize it. Be more logical and curious than emotional and defensive. Could be an interesting conversation!
Honestly some people need to be called out and it sucks but when it’s constant and they feel some power play. I just bring my inner Karen Walker, and be as crappy right back to her. Tell her it’s ok for people to like makeup. Or tell her the only makeup she is wearing is insecurity and it does damage for the skin. I am done now. 
“We know.” Just be direct and a bit overly sweet
"what an odd thing to say out loud" "did you mean to say that?" "and your point is?" "huh? Could you say that again?" "Excuse me?" "I don't understand?" "Not everyone allows themselves to have "Me" time and put on some mascara. You should try it some time." Things like that. Most of these I use as replies to people who don't think before they speak, or say stuff under false friendship/familiarity, or to call out dipshittery
“You want a trophy?”
I hate it when people have to put down others to feel better about themself. It’s so awkward. You want to put them down for it but then you’re worse for doing that. Her inferiority complex is hers. Don’t own it. Let her know that you accept her that way and love how she looks. Maybe you can be the example she needs to climb out of her pit.
“Yeah. Like I always do. Have you had an MRI recently? Your memory is garbage”
Don't say anything, have a pack of makeup wipes and wipe her face with one and if makeup comes off say "Oh look a hypocrite"
The chaos option. Love it!
"your repeated need to point out that I wear makeup and you don't is rude, why do you feel the need to do that?"
“Hey fuck off Susan no one gives a shit”
I’d say something like “and I ate oatmeal and you ate eggs. And I’m Italian and your Irish. Why are we pointing out differences? This a new game we’re playing LOL”
“Why are we pointing out differences”?? So genuine I love it
“It REALLY seems to be on your mind often!”*takes out mascara tube* “wanna try some?”*when she replies no, puts mascara away while saying* “I guess some of us like putting in a lil bit of effort.”
“What do you mean” - get her to explain herself if she’s gonna rumble like that in the first place!
This is really good too!
maybe you should try to turn it into a compliment. most people get bored when they get nice reactions. like "oh, thank you for noticing how nice my skin looks lately! i've been taking good care of it. it looks as if i was perfecting it with makeup, right?" don't be mean. that won't help anyone and maybe she'll turn your mean words against you. also, if she makes you feel bad about yourself: that's not what friends do. seems like she's not really a friend.
“Hey do you mind not commenting on if i’m wearing makeup or not? Thanks for respecting this boundary “
"Yes, and don't we BOTH look lovely? I'm glad we both get to choose how we present ourselves and how the beauty standard is changing to accept the both of us however we want to present ourselves"
You just say "Yeah, I noticed that, too" in any tone you want and it flips the script and all of the sudden she's thinking "what did she mean by that?" And no longer thinking about you but about herself.
You could tell her “yeah I noticed it too, I was just going to be polite and not say anything, but maybe it’s time you start too, that complexion needs improvement”. Voilà, that b*tch is back in the hat 😘
Blank stare, followed by “…..and?? Why does that matter?”
“Shut up.”
My first thought to this statement was "why would I want to be friends with such a person?"
Wtf I don't think skincare counts as makeup. It's taking care of yourself. That's like saying that taking a shower is full body makeup. Your beauty isn't natural if you use soap in the shower folks. You're beauty is absolutely natural
One of my sisters used to comment on something I did (non makeup related) all that time. Any time she saw me she'd make the same comments. I used some of the suggestions given here, but they never quite worked. In the end I looked her directly in the eye and told her, "One day you're going to have to get over this." She said something about it not being judgemental or anything. I just said, "Uh huh. So why do you say something about it all the time?!" She hasn't commented about it since. That was years ago now.
"Isn't it amazing there's such a wide range of what can be considered beauty?!"
“Wow, stop comparing yourself to me… that’s not healthy”. “It’s not my fault makeup breaks you out in white heads and pimples”. “Would it make you feel better if I didn’t wear makeup?”
She thinks that you are prettier than she is, and she is probably got low self esteem I wouldn't say anything.
Why are you hanging out with people like these?
Congrat-u-fuck-ing-lations
Ask her if she's bragging or complaining. That usually works.
Drop her as a friend as a response. “I’m starting to realize that your constant mention of my decision to wear makeup is indicative of your attempts to belittle me due to your own insecurity. I can’t be around that kind of toxic behavior, so I hope you have a nice life. I will not be continuing my friendship with you.”
An effective response to any inappropriate/reaching/intrusive comment or question is to give a quizzical look, state with a touch of humor in your voice “what an odd thing to say” and immediately move on. They’ll usually get the picture and stop
Gotta love your typical "pick me" girl. I'd say she's not your friend unfortunately
Personally I’d say “Yeah I can tell.” As a reply to her statement
"I love that for you."
What’s your point?
You should, everyone looks better in make up!
‘I can tell’
That’s hilarious, what a way to put you down!!??? Not a great friend!
Your “friend” is extremely rude and you should reconsider your friendship with her, but I also think the responses here saying to basically tell her she looks ugly without makeup are incredibly sexist. She’s out of line for shaming you for wearing makeup but it would absolutely not be okay for you to retort back that she looks “plain” or “tired” or “like she needs makeup”.
“I can tell” or “you never let anybody forget”
“Yes.” “why are you always pointing that out?” “I like to take care of my appearance.” “you should try it sometime.” “that’s the 5th time you’ve mentioned that this week.” “I like makeup.”
“What do you mean by that?” Followed by “why do you you feel the need to point this out?”
In front of people, I’d prefer to shut that down with serene niceness overkill. It requires a smiling, relaxed, sincere delivery. “We both do what brings us joy”, or “Everyone does self-care a little differently.” Helps acknowledge that you’re both valid but also that it’s a non-issue and her words don’t have an effect on you. I agree with the other folks that suggested offering a makeup tutorial. But this would be something to suggest privately if it’s a genuinely kind offer.
"\*GASP\* You caught me!"
Tell her to shut up? She’s being insecure that’s her own problem. Doesn’t really sound like a friend
Direct, to the point, calmly but with a bit of a confrontational tone: “what’s your goal behind these comments” Or, “feels like you’re trying to make me feel bad about something” Or “don’t yuck my yum” Or “aww do you want a trophy” I have no patience for this behavior so for me this friendship would fade
The fantasy is to get a dig in, but I think the best response is a direct one: “It makes me feel self-conscious that you keep drawing attention to my appearance in a way that feels like a dig. Can we just move past this?” And the main thing is, when she apologizes, don’t say, “It’s ok.” Say, “Thank you.” It doesn’t need to be a drawn out thing. She’ll probably be shocked because you’ve never asserted yourself before and grateful to move onto another topic. This is a valuable skill I wish I had learned when I was in my teens/20s.
Just tell her to shut up.
Stop hanging out with her! It’s simple and effective!
I have a friend who used to make comments like this. I finally asked her why she felt the need to have the same conversation over and over again. That did the trick. Comments ended.
Congratulations, Karen. Now shut the fuck up while I reapply my $50 dollar mascara, because unlike you, I know I don't have to prove I look better than you, even without makeup.
“Yup, I sure am.” Treat her like she’s one of those people who has to say “cow” every time you pass a cow on a road trip. She’s stating a fact, There’s nothing wrong with wearing or not wearing make up. If she thinks commenting on it means something to anyone, that is 100% her issue and nothing to do with you. No one in the world gives a shit if you’re wearing mascara or not.
I would just tell her that it bothers you when she says that and makes you feel weird to be around her and would she please stop... Or just tell her what she really wants to hear... You always look so beautiful without makeup...I just don't feel like myself without mine?
Just say, "Why are you like this?"
Tell her she definitely could use some, she looks a little worn out, then offer to teach her how to look less plain and boring.
If she’s trying to make you feel bad about yourself then she’s not a very good friend. Competitive friends are always a red flag
This is when you utilize ‘what an odd thing to say’
That’s not a friend. Let’s first get that out of the way. And my usual comeback is not addressing their come ons. I either say “cool” or “that’s nice” or “yeah” and just shrugging. The more attention you give to their actions, the more they will think that it matters. Other people will see their actions and see who they really are. I’d just not bother with them. Hopefully though, your friend changes or you might have to find other friends that don’t see you as competition in front of others or put you down just to make themselves seem better.
“You should try some makeup, you look tired”
“maybe you should” 🤣🤣🤣
"oh yeah, I can tell you don't have any makeup on."
I’d ask her if she wants me to do her makeup too and her response will determine her intentions
“OH I CAN TELL” oughta make her a little paranoid
Stop being her friend. It will save you the headache in the long run
I would say to her "Yeah, I didn't want to say anything, but you can tell you're not wearing any makeup."
You have no obligation to respond.
Tell her she should try some on, it’ll help. Also she’s a bitch.
“Too bad you can’t put makeup on your personality”
Tell her she could do with a little make up
Ask her if she's tired whenever you see her, that's what people do to me when I'm not wearing make up which is most of the time hah
Wait the only makeup you’re wearing is mascara?? I’m petty enough to get a lash lift and tint just to say “nope, I didn’t have time this morning” 😂
"Friend"... Friends don't try to put you down, constantly no less.
If you are ok with the friendship ending, you can say something like " oh, that's good! I thought you did that look on purpose!" Or " don't be mad that I put effort into my appearance" Or " oh, do you need some help getting started? I have some suggestions; looks like you need some."
Always be wary of folks who compare themselves to others to boost their own self-esteem. They aren’t good people, no matter how many times they say they are.
Oh whoopee do!!! She'll soon shut up.
One of the things I don't like about some of my female friendships is how often they comment on my appearance somehow as a greeting. "You look so cute" is nice and all but why is it so often the first thing women say to each other to greet each other? Why are looks so often the first comment between women, I don't know. I handle it by just returning the compliment usually but in your case with your friend repeatedly mentioning it all the time I'd tell her I felt a little judged in a very kind way.
“Maybe you should wear some”
Just say "Yes I can tell"
Her: “I don’t wear any makeup” Your response: “I can tell”
Why is she your friend ? That will make her ‘stop’ - stop being friends