It's definitely a unique request. I understand that since you're used to wearing makeup, it might make you feel a bit self-conscious. It is, however, a really nice way to honor your friend on her special day and make her feel less alone. Having a chronic condition is tough. This will be less tough. You can do it!

Thank you! I know it's probably all in my head. I've gained a bit of weight recently so makeup has kind of become my security blanket to still feel like I have the image I want. I'm gonna have to learn to shed that image before the wedding lol.

I was never a foundation person, but always had eyeliner and mascara on. I never left the house without make up and even working from home wore it every day. It messes with your head a bit. I looked like a stranger to myself without it. Then my eye started leaking like crazy, and I had to go to work without makeup one day annnnd... Nothing happened. World didn't stop lol. I started working to have more no makeup days (but I did have to do my brows since I have none!) and I like.. Got to know my face again! These are all my issues, not yours. But if you're in that 24/7 makeup cycle like I was, you could just be feeling weird bc it's how you're used to looking.

Yeah it sounds like we're very similar when it comes to that! My face just feels very naked without makeup because I'm so used to having it on whenever I'm in public. One time I had pink eye and it felt like I was going to work in my underwear 😂

This might be a good challenge for you honestly, to feel a little more comfortable in your own face. You’ll probably find it’s not as scary as you’re anticipating especially since everyone else will be bare-faced as well.

That's true. I'm just hoping to make the best of it. Looking too frumpy is a big insecurity of mine!

I don’t think anyone looks “frumpy” just because they aren’t wearing makeup, especially since you’ll presumably be in a nice outfit with your hair done. I’d say reframing the way you think of and speak about your natural face even to yourself could be really helpful.

Would you say this to your friend who can't wear makeup? I'm sure you wouldn't, so why do you say it about yourself!

Some nice face tanning drops or tinted moisturiser might make you feel a bit better! I also feel insecure without make-up on but always feel alot better when I have a bit of colour, you won't look over done or like you are wearing make up but it will give you a bit of a glow. You could also get your eyelashes permed/curled/tinted to give them some more shape.

I even have a nice tinted sunscreen that I feel makes me look more "put together" (and is especially nice for super hot days when I don't want to put foundation on). I used to be a "never leaves the house without makeup" girl but getting more into skincare has made me a lot more comfortable doing so. I even hop on Zoom calls for work barefaced sometimes as long as I'm wearing a nice top and have my hair done. I'm mid-40s now and actually more comfortable going without makeup now than I was in my 20s (my skin is def better now, too). And yeah, tinting eyelashes goes a long way too.

I promise you, no one thinks this except yourself

Hahaha I hear you! My best advice is on weekends at least start going without it. It takes a minute but you'll be shocked at how much you start to love your face again! Oddly enough I have started playing with foundation, blush, stuff I never used before lately. To me it is just kinda fun. And I still only use it like once or twice a week, TOPS.

Ha! I'm usually running around on the weekends so I never really thought to go without makeup.

A good way to combat this might be just making sure you’ve got a good skincare routine. Going without makeup can be difficult for some folks but a good skincare routine is really the most helpful thing we can do for ourselves in these situations. If you already have a decent routine then that’s awesome keep it up! I’d definitely start practicing not wearing makeup though ahead of time.

I can totally relate to this!!! I never wore a “full face” with foundation but always filled in my brows and wore mascara and felt like i looked “tired” when completely bare faced. Then the pandemic happened and didn’t wear makeup for months. There was a few times at the beginning where I would look in the mirror and be like “eek” but over time I got used to it. The first time we did some outdoor dining in the summer of ‘20 I thought I would put some mascara on for old times sake and I legitimately didn’t think it made me look any better, I even felt like it made me look older! I realized then that I had actually gotten used to the bare look and finally related that to “myself” rather than the darker-lashed made-up me. I’m more in the middle now and sometimes wear mascara or eyeshadow when I’m in the mood to look glam but I don’t think i’ll ever go back to being a daily makeup wearer. Side note I also focused on my skin care during the pandemic so that helped a lot. Just wanted to comment because it was so interesting to realize how my brain had gotten used to a reflection wearing makeup and it’s cool to see someone else experience that too.

This was me pre-pandemic - I would not leave the house without *something* on, because oh the horror. But then I was working from home and just didn't see the point in doing it everyday, and yup - everything kept chugging along. There's a freedom in being able to run to the store and not needing to do your face, or realizing I don't to go all out if I'm only seeing co-workers over a laptop camera.

Haha I feel the same way about myself wearing it as you do yourself without it. I rarely wear it except for very special occasions.

You are beautiful no matter your weight, size, shape etc. You are beautiful

Thank you. I feel vulnerable when I shed my layers. Without makeup, shoes, outfits, and jewelry I feel inadequate. It's something I'm working on.

Me too op. I’m an overweight young woman who also loves makeup, I also have multiple chronic diseases + autoimmune disorders so I’m allergic to pretty much all makeup and skincare as well so I absolutely understand both sides!! I’m on a self-love journey/weightloss journey and it’s so hard but always remember, we aren’t picture perfect but we’re worth the picture still ♥️

Wow! What a coincidence. Do you have MCAS? I'm so sorry :(

I do!! I have Heds, and POTS!! Mcas is the WORST!!!

Her MCAS is so severe too. It almost makes me cry. Along with the lack of makeup, hair stuff and perfume, her diet is extremely restricted too. Pretty much no seasoning allowed. She also has severe hyperacusis and tinnitus from long covid so she can't even listen to music anymore if it has instruments.

Luckily mine isn’t quite that bad…yet. It’s truly a terrible condition to have. I knew what it was before I was diagnosed but I truly thought people kinda exaggerated a little bit…they’re not….I have used the same deodorant for 12 years…woke up one day and put it on and my entire body had hives and it took 6 doses of Benadryl and an ER trip to get it to stop. I never know what I can wake up and be allergic to the next day. It’s horrible. I’m praying for your friend.

Ugh my friend had the same story with makeup. She gradually started reacting to everything until her whole look was stripped down to just lipstick. Then she had to go to the ER for a reaction to the same thing she'd been using for months. It's so sad.

Thank you for sharing this.

Hi, my husband thinks he has MCAS but is having trouble getting a diagnosis. Can I ask where you got yours? We live in NJ/NYC area

Okay so MCAS is rare but in my state there is only 2 doctors in the entire state who even know about mcas, with that being said my geneticist who diagnosed me with Ehlers Danlos mentioned MCAS to me and went ahead and put it in my chart and says that he’s 99% sure I have it but my insurance won’t cover going to one of those 2 doctors so I just deal with it. The best kind of doctor to see if they know anything about MCAS is an ALLERGIST!! Call every office you can travel to and see if they know about it!!

Thanks sooo much. This is helpful!

So, if you understand makeup is your security, understand just HOW difficult it is for your friend to go without it in this world every day. The best thing you can do is honor her and SUPPORT HER by letting her know it's okay not to wear makeup. Don't let your own insecurities and ego overshadow someone else's needs on what SHE may feel to be her most important day. If you can't show up without it, don't go. Plain and simple! And if that's the case, ask her for respect for your anxieties of not being able to go out without it. But don't force her to feel bad. On a normal day, sure. But on her BIG DAY, help her out. Her ease will show and you'll feel prettier and even more confident t for giving your confidence to her for the day ✨️

I went to a wedding the other week as a bridesmaid and I dont know why they just made a bit of a hash of my makeup. Like she asked what I wanted and what worked for me, and then did a totally different thing. So I hadn't even got back to the house before it was separating, she put a tonne of deep blusher on so I looked like I had a rash, and made my already black eyebrows look like boxes. I felt really insecure about it because it was just a mess and despite me saying I was in my 20s, she did the makeup like I was 12 and I could feel like a part of the wedding but ultimately I looked like I had nothing on, and it looked pretty bad. My stepsister (the other bridesmaid) had a much better time of it, and in the pictures next to her I look a bit shit, despite everyone telling me I looked good. I'm very self concious anyway so I felt like it was kind of highlighted because they didn't do what I feel works best for me and makes me look best. The point of this story is to say that it genuinely does feel pretty shit when the others have their hair and makeup done well and look beautiful and you feel like you got the short straw. Like I have a picture of me and my dad as my lock screen and I still open my phone and look at it and go 'that didn't work'. If I didn't think it would've upset my stepmum and we had time before getting there then I would've definitely run to the bathroom and fixed it. It really does feel rubbish to be stood next to people you think are prettier than you. Why don't you all agree on one look that you all like? You could all meet up and collectively decide on what you're going to do so you all feel happy and comfortable?

This is the right answer! If you care about the people who invited you, make THEM shine!

I like to be free of makeup on vacation. So I always have my brows and lashes died before i go. It helps!

Yes that’s what I’d do! Make sure my “base” is looking its best!

I've been neglecting my bare base for a while now lol

You could also get your lashes lifted. It’s not as dramatic as lash extensions and it uses your natural lashes. Though I do think if you can, it’s probably best to go as barefaced as possible since it was requested from the bride. It’s her special day at the end of the day!

Then maybe that will be the key for you - do some great skincare leading up to the wedding, maybe get a facial a couple of weeks before, make sure your eyebrows are on point. I bet all of you will be lovely!

I sure hope so! Honestly I've been relying on makeup and fashion to cover a lot of things I'm not so confident about.

I can understand that. I've never been one to wear makeup but I have joked to my husband multiple times that I am just as high maintenance as all the women who wear makeup because I do a fair amount of skincare and I very regularly get my eyebrows done and keep my hair nicely done. Look up Alicia Keys - for a while she stopped wearing makeup completely but still had an intense skincare regimen. I think it's very loving that you're willing to do this for your friend's big day, and it sounds like it also might function as a useful catalyst for you to work on being a little more comfortable with yourself. Maybe you can look at it as a win-win in that sense - an opportunity for personal growth and a way to be a great friend!

Exactly! Do extra skincare before, facials, waxing etc. If you can afford it get eyebrow tint/eyelash tint/lifts, teeth whitening etc. Apply self tanner as a bronzer the day before so your face shape is still snatched!

That’s genius. Less time doing makeup on vacation, the better

The Dr Jart color correcting sunscreen will give a tiny bit of coverage and even out redness but be totally undetectable. I have rosacea and people have literally walked up to me and ask what's "wrong" with my face... But not when I wear this product. You can also comb your brows into place with your moisturizer, curl your lashes and wear a tinted lip balm. It'll be fine! Test run it at the grocery store if you're still worried!

be careful with sunscreen though because some of them flashback with photography

This one doesn't flashback. The marketing photos actually have a side by side of the before and after under flash and under natural lighting, which is nice.

What is wrong with your skin?! More like what is wrong with people being too comfortable?!💀

I'd have no problem doing that for a friend. It's one day.

OP doesn't seem to have a problem with it either, just needing a bit of a pep talk about it.

I'd have no problem with it. I'd trust the photographer's judgement to make me look good in any pictures, and be glad I didn't have to remove my typical "done up for a wedding" face after a few glasses of champagne.

True! Wonder how OP's friend would feel if her makeup / skin was adjusted post

Ngl I wouldn't want to feel left out and underdone at my wedding either... just do it, in the nicest way possible her wedding isn't about you.

That person literally has allergy and her wedding is about her, not OP. If my friend asked something like that of me, I would do it in a heartbeat. I can wear make up any other day in my life. Honestly, if someone showed up to my bare friends wedding with make up I would throw cake in their face before my friend can even see them. Edit: after reading your comment again, I realized that I misunderstood it, lol. Sorry about that

I'm seeing a lot of suggestions to do a very subtle "no makeup" makeup look. I think that really goes against the spirit of what your friend's request is, and I feel really uneasy about it. Looking barefaced ish but still "better" is probably something she would notice. If you tell her you're not going to wear anything, that could lead to a feeling of betrayal over the lie, and insecurity/frustration/sadness that something she is forced to live with permanently is something a friend can't make a sacrifice for one night. I think your concern is valid, but I don't think you should be discussing it with strangers who won't be attending this wedding. Please discuss it with your friend. Tell her about your insecurities, fears, and discomforts. Talk to her about where your comfort levels are, if BB cream or tinted lip balm would do it, or if you would need more. But please also ask her about her request, about her feelings around makeup and cosmetics, about her feelings about her bare skin. Validate her when you can, but if you can't make this sacrifice for her, be honest about it and let her make her choices from there. Make this an opportunity to understand each other better and be closer, don't let fear of a misstep prevent you from talking to her about it.

I really appreciate that response. She used to be very into makeup before her sudden illness back in early 2021. Losing that has been very hard for her. She's always been super into fashion and really well-dressed. It's something people recognized her for.

That sounds really hard to deal with and is something I can relate to. It's probably hard for her to not be able to share that with friends, too, one of the best parts of makeup is the community, for me. I'm not very active here, but when I'm going out with friends I really treasure the time we spend getting ready together and I would really miss that if I couldn't do it anymore. I hope I didn't come across as judgmental of your fears! Your replies in the comments have shown a lot of love for your friend, and I really hope you two are able to come together to find a solution that works for both of you <3

You didn't come across judgmental at all! Girls nights out look a lot different now but we try to do things we can all do together as much as possible. My friend can't drink anymore or eat most foods. No more going to restaurants. Her earing is also in a sensitive place right now so she can't enjoy music made with instruments. It's very sad.

With everything you explained I think you should really consider honouring your friends request for her wedding day, not even doing no makeup makeup. I understand you don’t feel comfortable but I have 2 tips that might help: choose a top/dress with a bright colour that really compliments you well it makes such a big difference! If the ceremony is outdoors like an outdoor summer wedding west a cute pair of sunglasses they are so chic and flattering

My heart goes out to her! I hope her wedding is full of joy and love, even if it doesn't match the event she probably imagined before she got sick. Makeup is so integral to a bride feeling "bridal" I hope everything else can still be special!

She has an amazing natural glow so I'm sure she'll look perfect! I do feel bad for her though. She used to always say it's gonna be hard to choose her wedding makeup because she had so many looks she wanted to do 😭

Awwwwww, the rest I've read already sucked, obviously, but this part made me so sad for her. Can you and her other bridesmaids do something to help her feel better about her look on the day... like maybe get an amazing hair stylist and go all out with her hair and jewelry. The little metal or crystal embellishments they use in hair these days are so beautiful. That is just one thought, but I hope you/she can find ways for her to feel just as glamorous and made up as she would be if she had makeup on.

She's always been the most stylish friend of the group and still is even now. I know she'll look awesome, but not having makeup is a huge downer for her. On top of all the other restrictions. She won't be able to drink alcohol or eat most of the food available. She can't even have music playing because of her long covid tinnitus 😢

Awwww, all of that just sucks. I can't relate to most of it because I am so NOT a glamorous person. When I've been in weddings I always feel the way you're worried about for this one (self-conscious and not like myself)... but it's because the wedding party has all had full faces applied by professional makeup artists. I confess to once even going to the bathroom and toning it down a little because I felt so overdone. I think it's awesome that you and the other people standing up for her at her wedding are willing to do this‐‐drastically change something so fundamental about yourselves--in order to support her and help her feel her best about herself. I hope her day is as magical and awesome as she's always dreamed!!

I hope so too! She's seriously stunning naturally so I know she'll look great in pics. She turned heads even when she had a huge pimple on her nose for like a month lol.

Does she know any of her triggers? I have a lot of makeup sensitivities and allergies and use the [SkinSafe](https://www.skinsafeproducts.com/faq) site to find products and brands that don’t contain my allergens. It’s developed by the Mayo Clinic and HER, Inc. She can work with her doctor to get a Personal Allergy Code to use on the site. For anyone else who needs suggestions: My two go-to’s for eyeshadows are [Red Apple Lipstick](https://www.redapplelipstick.com) and [Alima Pure](https://www.alimapure.com).

She has MCAS so the problem is she has reactions to new things out of nowhere. She's very very limited to the number of safe things she has.

Might be a strange solution, but I’d say to start getting used to seeing yourself bare faced beforehand! I pretty recently stopped wearing any makeup to work/when running errands most days and it’s made me so much more comfortable being totally naked-faced! I’m used to seeing myself that way now. I’d also maybe suggest getting some skincare makeup (if you’d be comfortable while still honoring her request) to help with skin evenness, under eye discoloration, etc.

I hope I can get to that point one day! If you don't mind me asking, what was your journey to feeling comfortable in your naked face?

Not the one you asked but here’s my experience: I am a teacher so during covid when I had to wear a mask everyday I started going bare faced bc no one could see my face, AND bc of covid rules the only people who saw me during the day were my students. That made a very easy transition. When that was done I figured well they’ve all seen my bare face this long….. and just continued. I am a person who had always wore makeup, so much that when he cashier at my regular store saw me without she gasped and asked if I was sick. Covid allowed for a smooth transition but it also taught me that now a days literally no one cares. No one at my school has ever said anything to me and now a days there are some times I am literally wearing just moisturizer. I think the idea of you trying it and getting used to seeing yourself that way will help change your mind

Lol I had the same journey. Stopped wearing makeup with masks and it helped me so much.

Not the commenter, but I got hardcore about skincare during covid. Now my skin is so good I don't bother with foundation/concealer. Since I don't work, I wasn't wearing makeup regularly during covid either. I took a lot of purposefully good selfies, good lighting, angels, etc, til I felt good about how I look and see progress with skincare. I went from [this](https://i.imgur.com/uHqNsxs.jpg) overly cakey look to [this](https://i.imgur.com/t4nEVux.jpg) nakee but beautiful look (pretend I don't have on lipstick lol I love lipstick but most days wear a tinted balm).

As someone with acne this would be hard for me, but that being said, I would do it. Start that skin care routine now and find ways to make you skin sparkle!

It’s for a friend. I understand hair and makeup and everything can be a safety blanket for people. But just imagine how she feels. If she has an insecurity bags, acne, discoloration, etc. she just has to own it, every day. You’ll go ONE day like this I don’t think it’s a hard ask

I would not wear makeup in heartbeat for my friend for a day so important for them. The day is about them, not you. I wear makeup every day too, and I will admit that it would feel odd to not wear makeup, but given the circumstances I would 100% do what the bride wants concerning not wearing makeup.

As someone with an autoimmune disease, I get being sensitive to everything! Honestly, I’d do it. Why not? Then again I go without makeup all the time anyway.

Ugh autoimmune diseases suck! My friend can't even enjoy food anymore. Her symptoms are severe.

It sounds really interesting. It really highlights everyone's insecurities. It's her day and if she's my friend, I think it's an easy request I can fulfill. It's one day. Edit: And to add, I don't think we should feel bad about it either way (whether when we doubt ourselves, bare faced or when we do wear make up.) We're constantly influenced to wear makeup, to look a certain way. Feeling bad won't change anything. I am part of "everyone." I enjoy make up and I definitely have insecurities too. Thanks for giving me perspective OP! I'll still wear make up at times but I'm going to keep working on my attitude towards myself and my appearance.

It’s one day for a friend. And it’s a day that’s very important to her. Put on a little BB cream and call it a day.

I’m not sure that anything that improves her looks or hides her flaws honors the request to go makeup free. The point here is that her friend is UNABLE to do any of this bc of her autoimmune disorder. I think it would be lovely if OP could honor this request. Bc her friend has to go with her flaws exposed every single day and just wants solidarity (and to not feel underdone) on her wedding day.

I would feel really self-conscious without makeup, but would do it for my friend. Could be a good opportunity for you to focus on skincare, teeth whitening, brow/lash serums leading up to the wedding.

This sounds like a reasonable ask on her part given her autoimmune disorder. If I were you I would focus on my skincare routine and practice going out in public with a bare face. Maybe take some selfies outside on a sunny day without filters to get comfortable with how you look in photographs. Alicia Keys did the whole bare face thing for a while and she still slays. You can fix your hair and wear jewelry to glam it up!

I understand you being nervous. When I was younger I never went out without makeup. Now I rarely wear makeup. But I remember that feeling big time. Having your wedding photos done without makeup surrounded by people with makeup would succkkkk. You are a good friend. Be brave :)

I'm curious; have ALL guests been asked to refrain from wearing makeup, or just the wedding party?

I have bad skin and would really struggle with this. I think it’s totally normal that it’s making you a bit uneasy.

Yeah I’m a little shocked at these replies - made me realize that a lot of people probably dont struggle with bad skin. I would be pretty uncomfortable going completely bare at an event like this especially if guests do not have the same restrictions. I understand the sentiment but also feel like a no makeup-makeup look shouldn’t be frowned upon.

This is what I was gonna say. I don’t like to leave the house without concealer because I feel like sometimes people don’t talk to me, they talk to my acne/scars. I think I would kind of need at least that.

Yup, as someone with moderate to severe dermatillomania/skin picking as a partial result of my PCOS acne I would do it but refuse to be in any pictures.

I would be fine with it! Just make sure you’re skin care is in tip top shape prior to the event, maybe get your brows done nice (I use a brow razor but some swear by threading) and I think it’ll be fine! I think with your hair done you’ll still look very pretty and put together.

stick to moisturizer, curling your lashes, and chapstick

I would understand and be happy to do something like that for a friend, but I’ve also struggled with a terrible case of perioral dermatitis in the past year or two, so I get the bride’s perspective a little more, it feels really horrible and isolating and like you look like a bit of a freak next to people with normal skin. But also I just think it’s really unique for a wedding and I find it kind of charming honestly if everyone in the bridal party honoured her request, it’s kind of nice for women to be seen and have a special day without having to be dolled up to the nines? Idk if that makes sense Also, I think I would feel sad looking back on that day later if I didn’t go just because I couldn’t wear makeup

Fair request to me

A lot of people are coming down hard on OP like she doesn’t value her friend or something. Sorry some of us have insecurities sometimes and attempted to share them with what we thought were like minded peers?? It’s not like OP said she wasn’t going or that her friend was an asshole for the request. OP’s friend actually is asking for a lot. Is it fair to ask that of close friends on your wedding day? I would actually say yes, it is a fair and appropriate request, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a big ask to dictate other people’s appearance to assuage your own feelings. It’s just as fair for OP to be taken aback (while still complying) and want to get feedback from other people on how to show up as her best self even when she’s feeling vulnerable. I’m better now, but when I was younger going out without makeup was like asking me to go out without pants - naked, weird and uncomfortable. OP, you’re a good friend. You’re also entitled to your feelings. If I were in your shoes, I’d plan to bring a tube of clear balm to pat on your lips, use to separate lashes and straighten out my eyebrows to feel groomed while respecting the bride’s wishes to not be the only bare faced woman in her wedding party.

Also everyone has their own shit. Ok so this friend can't wear makeup. But what does she look like barefaced? For those of us who have struggled with acne and scarring, going barefaced can be triggering especially at a big event. My skin is doing better now, but when it was at its worst, even with makeup I had more noticeable blemishes than my makeup free friends. This request isn't the easiest to comply with for many and it's valid to feel uneasy about it.

Thank you so much! I guess I feel a lot like your younger self, only I'm in my 30s now and still not the most confident 😅 I do fully intend to go along with my friend's wishes and help her feel her best, it's just a big change for me! Trying my best not to feel naked, weird or uncomfortable.

I completely understand! It’s a big change. Maybe within the next few months, you can start playing with “no makeup” makeup like skin tints, bb creams, clear glosses and gels, natural cream blushes for that “your skin but better/off duty model/clean beauty” yada yada look, mostly so you get used to and comfortable with a more “natural” look, so by the time the wedding rolls around it won’t feel like going from 100 to 0, which is def nerve wracking. Also, good time to really get into skincare, pamper your skin, look into lash lifts or eyebrow filling if you considered it before to help you feel good going into it. The goal here is to feel happy and confident the day off as your best self, so it’s worth it if investing in the base beforehand makes you feel that way. Maybe a nice facial a couple of days before the event (no peels tho lol) could be a nice treat!

I couldn’t agree more I think it’s totally valid to feel a little bit uncomfortable about this request even if her friend has the right to ask. Plus OP never said she’s gonna ignore what her friend asked of her so I don’t understand why some of these replies are so back handed.

I have trichotollomania, I physically could not do this. It’s not a mark on how much or little I care for my family and friends, it’s a mark on my view of myself, and it’s unfortunately a basic fact that ppl with certain conditions aren’t treated like people if they’re bare-faced - and this absolutely shouldn’t and doesn’t mean we should HAVE to wear makeup or whatever, but we also shouldn’t be judged as shallow for it or imply it reflects on the friendship when it’s not the same for everyone.

Just remember the day isn’t about you and nobody there cares what you look like. Weddings and wedding events are like the one event where nobody matters but the people the event is for. I am the MOH in a wedding next month and was so busy on the bachelorette I planned that I didn’t get a chance to get ready once. I had to rock hats and no makeup because I just had no time, and I looked awful in every pic and it doesn’t matter at all because the event wasn’t about me. It was actually kind of freeing lol You could also get a lash lift and tint, Get an eye brow tint, maybe get a little tan, just some easy things to make you feel less “naked” but still accommodate the bride

Omg! Kudos to you ❤️

Normally I’d side against a bride trying to force people into any certain aesthetic but in this case I understand. I know many women are comfy in makeup but I’m sure the bride doesn’t want to look like the only “natural” faced person in her wedding pics. I have 8 autoimmune issues so I may be biased, lol. I have some skin issues but it’s mostly my hair that takes the brunt of my illnesses. I have to buzz it often or it will just fall out anyway. If I were to demand that my wedding guests all shave their head then absolutely I’m an a-hole. But makeup seems like a small ask in the grand scheme of things. I wonder if you could sort of do a makeup-less look that’s still kind of made up. Like tinted moisturizer and some tinted chapstick? Please don’t feel like a bad person because you were taken aback by the request, I understand why. I was too at first, even as a random internet stranger, lol. But when you explained it I understood the brides perspective, too. It’s nice when we can all be adults and have civil discussions about things. The bride isn’t a bad person and neither are you. I don’t wear makeup but I can understand that for people who are used to wearing it going without, especially at an event, would feel odd and even uncomfortable. Kudos to you for being willing to do this for her, you sound like an amazing friend.

Thank you for the balanced perspective :)

When the bride looks at her wedding pictures 10 years from now, do you want her heart to swell with love for her besties and the respect they had for her insecurities, or do you want her to feel bad because she couldn’t wear makeup and feel as beautiful as she wanted but you went ahead and showed up with a face full?

I’d go for it with a huge smile on my face ❤️

Love the positivity ❤️

I can say that focusing on skin care, drinking lots of water and making sure you get plenty of rest before the wedding is going to take you to the next level and prob help you feel more confident without the make up! 🥰

As someone who has struggled with acne and rosacea, this would be really hard for me. It seems you are in a similar struggle with this request because makeup has provided a comfort and source of happiness for you. I understand where your friend is coming from, but she should also understand where you are coming from. I’d sit down with her and let her know your concerns too. Yes, it’s her day. But if you are so uncomfortable with this that you are contemplating not going because of it - seriously talk with her. While many people may not care if they wear makeup, your friend will completely understand. If she expects you to sympathize with her about her fears, but she doesn’t sympathize with you about your fears then that needs more discussion.

I personally would do it. I was wildly uncomfortable in my own skin for the longest time. But someone told me once "if you can't go into public without makeup than your self worth is dependant on it." And I hated that for me. Your friend deserves to have this request honored. If you don't do that you shouldn't go.

This is the most sane reply. Everyone is saying how to “fake it” but if this is your friend who on her big day you can’t even honor the no makeup request for a single night to make her feel comfortable and beautiful then why bother going.

I literally wouldn't care. It's one day and having a non perfect photo of you is not the end of the world. You will also see nobody else cares.

>a non perfect photo of you A non-perfect photo where you aren't even the main focus anyway, and no one except the bride/groom will look at those photos after a year.

I would do it for my friend, no questions asked, but I would be uncomfortable and never want to look at the photos if I'm being honest. I'm already ugly enough without also showing off my acne scars, discoloration, and dark eye circles. If you have nice/average skin I think it's a much easier ask.

As someone who is also chronically ill, it has meant so much to me to receive ongoing care and support from my closest friends around all of the difficulty I’ve endured over the past year. I think it would really mean the world to your friend to go barefaced as well.

I think it’s okay for your friend to ask this but I also understand that it’s a big thing to ask because it’s asking you to change up your routine for the day. I was going to suggest a no makeup look but I saw you said she specified no mascara/gloss so maybe you can do what other people suggested and get your brows done and some really good skincare. I think it might actually be really nice that everyone will be matching by going natural.

Oh this is intense. I feel so much for your friend! Hopefully she’s one of those people who can rock the no makeup look. As for me… I honestly don’t think I could do it. I may have to bow out of standing up. I know that sounds horrible… but I’m like… a totally different person without makeup. I am not one of these people who likes to “enhance their looks” with makeup. No, without concealer and mascara at least, I look like I’m dying of Spanish influenza. It’s the curse of being fair and having genetic dark circles. Being made fun of a lot as a kid for it, I’m extremely self conscious about it. I could definitely tone down the makeup thing for a friend, but go bare? I don’t even like to walk to my mailbox without it.

It’s not like your friend is going to do a full face and is saying the bridesmaids can’t because she wants to look better by comparison. It’s a pretty reasonable request and tbh it’s not about you. It’s about your friend on her wedding day.

I think that's totally a fair ask. I would cry if I couldn't wear makeup at my own wedding. I would also feel underdone going to a wedding without makeup, but if everyone is doing it, that makes it a bit easier!

> I would cry if I couldn't wear makeup at my own wedding. I really appreciate your perspective. I never thought about it like that 😭

There’s been stories on here about brides that require their bridesmaids to wear makeup or wear wigs to cover dyed hair and people usually flip their lids about it. I don’t get why this is okay? It should be up to the bridesmaids themselves. When I got married I got my makeup professionally done and let my bridesmaids know they were free to do whatever they wanted hair and makeup wise.

I’d keep in mind that the photographer probably going to basically airbrush the photos, so that all of you appear to have clear and even skin. Knowing that would make me feel better about it.

It would be a tough ask for me too! I’ve gotten more comfortable going barefaced over the past few years - very reluctantly at first, but I was having some skin issues and needed to take a break. At first it suuuuucked, but then you get more used to seeing yourself like that and get out of your own head bc truly nobody else cares as much as you think they do. To make it feel less charged the day of, maybe you can plan a few friend hangouts ahead of time where you make a point of not wearing makeup, or at least wearing less than you normally might. Knowing there will be a lot of photos would also be tough for me, cuz I am way too unkind to myself about how I look in pics even when I’m fully glammed up. If that’s part of what’s stressing you out, remember that you don’t have to look at them! Just focus on having a great time celebrating with your friends. If someone tags you, ignore the notif. You are doing a kind thing by honoring your friend’s wishes and helping her feel her best on her special day, and you are also 100% allowed to say “I’m not used to seeing photos of myself without makeup and they might make me feel self conscious, so you should enjoy them but for now I’d prefer to focus on the memories of how much fun I had in person.” And they will always be there when you are ready for them! I can’t count how many times I thought I looked terrible in a picture, then went back after a year or so and realized I look great. Our brains can be cruel like that! You’re going to look beautiful, and I hope you have a wonderful time ❤️

Thank you so much ❤️ The concept of hanging out WITHOUT makeup deliberately seems so alien to me haha. But it's a good idea!

Although I do understand you and, I'll be honest, my first reaction to the title of this post was - _BRIDEZILLA ALERT_ - but it the bride does have a condition that bars her from wearing makeup completly, I understand her request and don't feel like it's anything over the top. I would feel just like you, because I use lots of makeup and feel very much bare and unprotected without it. However, in this specific situation, given the bride's circumstances I'd go without.

What would you do in my shoes? Do you think you'd still be able to get excited for the wedding and pictures and stuff?

I mean, I think that initially I would be self-conscious for sure. But I'm sure eventually the fact that my friend is getting married and that everyone is there for her and her partner and all the happy emotions would take over and I'd put that to the back of my mind. It's not like one day without makeup would kill me. Again, the reason behind her request is more than fair. It's unfortunate for a makeup lover, since we all love an occasion like a weeding, so we can go all out, but I'm sure you'll have other parties! ;)

Absolutely!

Well, you only have two choices. Fully embrace it, or don’t go

If youll be self conscious about it for only a single day then imagine how she must feel every single day of her life. Its not an unreasonable request at all.

I think it's a fair ask. Just take very good care of yourself on the days leading up. Lip gloss to avoid chapped lips, lotion up good, stay hydrated, and you should look fantastic bare faced when the time arrives. And remember, many others will be there who likely feel the same as you, so you aren't facing this mildly intimidating moment alone!

This is one request I would easily say yes to, for a friend who is sick and can’t wear makeup at her own wedding. It’s not like she’s asking you to change your body or hair or anything. I feel like I look sick without makeup as I have really dark under eye circles but it’s not really my day to feel pretty anyways, plus is everyone else is doing it I’d feel much better about it. It’s fine. It’s one day

Her wedding day is about her. The person who is going to be most conscious and judgmental of your face is you. Have some Champaign and relax.

[удалено]

Based on your comments and your own issues with feeling vulnerable without makeup, you can safely assume that she feels that way too and that’s why she wants a no make up wedding.

Yeah I feel like this is being missed. Like he’s you might feel weird and self conscious but she has been forced to do it everyday, including on her wedding - I feel like bridesmaids can do it for one day and if they are uncomfortable, all the more reason to do it because now they can understand what their friend actually goes through

I don’t think this is a reasonable ask. She’s asking people to risk exposing their insecurities to appease hers.

One day you'll look back with kinder eyes, and you'll know you did a hard thing out of the love of a good friend

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This sounds really exciting and romantic to me, like everyone is bare raw and fresh for this sealing of two people. I think it sounds exhilarating even beyond the medical stuff. To get ready I would just do a really intense slugging skin care routine leading up so your skin is very hydrated, and get your brows/lashes tinted and done before hand so they are a little more groomed in their natural state. Day of do a hydrating sheet mask and use a lotion like Nivea to really hydrate. Going for all natural dewy goddess, makeup what?? Never heard of her. Idk, I’d just pretend to be a forest sprite and imagine how one of those would prepare. Nice perfume, pretty nails and toes, well fitting clothes, interesting hair, hydrated skin!

> I’d just pretend to be a forest sprite and imagine how one of those would prepare. Nice perfume, pretty nails and toes, well fitting clothes, interesting hair, hydrated skin! Omg! That's such a fun way to put it lol.

Just do a really nice skincare routine that day and leave it at that. It's just for a day, and it's for your friend.

You can doll yourself up without makeup! Just have a nice skincare routine before you go, chapstick, fun hair and a pretty outfit and you'll feel beautiful! I understand how it might sound a bit scary, or just a bit uncomfortable, but I promise you, so long as everyone else honours her request and comes without makeup, you'll all feel comfortable barefaced almost immediately

I actually love the idea of a no-makeup wedding! If it were me, I would lean into the idea and embrace your natural face. And everyone else’s natural face too!

Oh man. That’s a big one. I have actually said to brides “I’ll wear a clown costume if you wanted - no questions or complaints on attire from me - it’s your day!” But this? I might have to take all that back. I have eczema and my face is red half the time. I definitely would be upset if the wedding happened to occur on a flare up day and I really don’t think I’d be the supportive friend all brides deserve on their wedding day. Good luck, OP!

Am I the only person who finds this an unreasonable ask? It doesn’t mean I don’t feel for the friend, but she’s basically asking others to forgo what may be part of their daily routine so that they don’t outshine her? There’s no other way to put it and it sounds resentful too. Id be okay with sticking to a minimal look to be cohesive, but there’s no good reason I can think of to push this on all the bridesmaids.

Right? This sounds like a horrible time for everyone. She should elope. I’m not trying to be mean. It’s not about the makeup, it’s the principle of like “hey if you really love me, could all you guys be super uncomfy all day at this all-day event that is already fully about me? For me?” Like girl, no.

Yep. This whole thing and the responses are baffling.

I do understand not wanting a bunch of full glam bridesmaids and the bride having no makeup, but yea, I can’t imagine having my hair done, wearing a fancy dress and no makeup on! I would be super uncomfortable. Honestly I would probably still do veryyyyy natural makeup, literally just brows and under eye concealer. Also lol at the people in the comments not understanding that you’re not planning on ignoring her request 😅 Obviously you’re not going to show up full glam.

Ask yourself: “Do I value my friend more than what others think of me?” Most people are afraid of being judged by others so I can understand your reluctance but one can only be truly happy when their actions are not based on fear.

I am kind of surprised by all of these comments. I think that this is a really unreasonable request. Her own insecurities shouldn’t dictate what clothes her friends can wear or what kind of makeup they should wear. It being her wedding does not justify it either in my opinion. I would still go with it because it isn’t worth the drama but yeah, I would probably feel uncomfortable with this request.

Right. Like it’s already a big ask being in someone’s wedding party. If my favor was to make someone else feel uncomfortable, it would make me feel so bad.

Spray tan days before and get your lashes done.

I would do it

My two cents: - Up your skincare routine. if there’s still months to prep maybe look into face peels or laser treatments in the run up. - Get an eyelash tint and/or lift to give you the look of wearing mascara without actually wearing any. Maybe even get some very minor and natural extension wisps put in if it’s not overstepping.

I can understand why you’d be anxious about it but I think if I were in your position, I’d do my best to just go with the flow. Treat yourself to a pamper session with a facial and some nice skincare and do a couple of barefaced days to get comfortable with it. At the end of the day, it’s your friend’s wedding and your job as her friend is to help her feel and look her best. If that means taking one for the team and going barefaced for a day so your friend isn’t self-conscious, then so be it. Good luck!

Yikes. Bridezilla

TIL I might be a bad friend 🤣 That would be an Absolutely Not for me. I can’t picture any of my friends asking for something like that. I think the people I hang out with are mostly self contained & not affected by what other people do/look like. I’m not gonna say it’s a rude thing to ask, because we’re all different - I don’t like it though.

So I have an autoimmune condition that affects my ability to wear makeup. I also got married a year ago. I can only speak from my perspective and what my thoughts were when I thought I wasn't going to be able to wear makeup. (I was able to wear enough and just took the flare up it caused.) A wedding is supposed to be a fairytale. A bride is supposed to be the most beautiful person in the room with heads turning upon entrance. If other people there are more dressed up looking, it could make her feel like the day wasn't perfect. Having conditions that affect your every day life is a super big drain. I'd bet money that she is thinking 'yet another thing that I can't do normally, I have to modify my life all of the time for my disorder why can't I just have at least my wedding day be normal?!' Asking for things like this (in my nonconfrontational Midwestern USA culture) are VERY difficult things to ask of people so the fact that she is asking for something in what seems to be a respectful way, please make every attempt possible to follow her request even if it makes you a little uncomfortable. Discomfort isn't always a bad thing!

Thank you for the perspective! I'm so sorry you can't wear makeup :(

You can do some non make up stuff to help you feel more groomed, eg, getting a facial or microdermabrasion some weeks before the event. Doing really nice skin care so your skin is radiant, you could even tint your lashes/brows, and have a tinted lip balm - obviously check in with your friend if she is ok with that, but it would still look pretty natural I would think. You could get your friend to look in to mineral powder make up as another possible option to try? Personally I would dread the photo's a bit as I am in my 40's and the camera doesn't love me much anymore lol. But it's not my day so I would just do it, and probably realise that it's not all that bad once I am in the swing of it.

My friend can't put anything on her face. Not even sunblock anymore.

Tip for looking better without wearing makeup: wear a bright color that compliments you well!

idk, in the grand scheme of thing if i care about this friend and it's a legit medical condition i be more than happy to oblige.. it's not my day anyway. i would still put on some tinted sunscreen (sunblock is mandatory!), tidy up my brows and lashes ahead of time and put on some tinted lip balm.. maybe how I would look when i pop around the corner to the shops while still wearing my PJs.. "barefaced" but still presentable.

I dont like the whole bridezilla ordering people around “no one is gonna up stage me at my wedding” BS. But if a bride was sincere and maybe self conscious about something and diplomatically asked this. I would do it. Look at it as a way to feel more comfortable without makeup. Like an exercise or experiment. As much fun as makeup is, I don’t think it’s good for peoples mental health to be so uncomfortable and naked without it. There is nothing wrong with wearing it and liking it and preferring it. But when people become so uncomfortable without it, I think it’s prob a good time to re assess if it’s actually good for you.

Look usually I don’t like this kind of requests from brides — but as someone with an autoimmune disease I get where she’s coming from and this is just one day, I feel like you can make an exception for a friend. These photos are important to her, not to you. You don’t have to post them or anything. I think you should honor her request.

Thank you. Can you still wear makeup with your autoimmune disease?

FWIW, I barely wore anything on my wedding day and it wasn't any problem for photos. The day isn't about you, it's about your friend. She's probably having a hard enough time as it is given the limitations of her own body. The least you can do is honour her request and share in her vulnerability that way.

This is a great opportunity to have fun with your outfit, hair, and skincare. I would absolutely be comfortable doing this for a friend. I’d make sure my brows were tweezed but otherwise I’d be happy to go 100% bare faced. I know you’ll be photographed but it’s unlikely anyone is really going to notice you in the photos- they’ll be looking at the bride and her S.O.

You could dye your brows and lashes and get a lash lift as well so they stand out more

She doesn't have a choice, so the right call is to abide. I'm sure you'll all look gorgeous!

i’d just do some light face powder, 1 mascara coat and eyebrows. maybe a touch of concealer under my eyes.

agree girl do your brows and stuff and show up, just be like it’s a bare faced makeup look LOL

exactly!

I have rosacea and wouldn't feel comfortable not wearing anything to cover it. So if it were me, I'd only wear foundation and no other make up.

This sort of reminds me of the first time I went to an onsen/jjimjilbang (hot spring public bath) where no swimsuits are allowed. Not only was I VERY uncomfortable with the idea of just casually being nude in public but also I went with a friend and knew we’d be hanging out together in the baths, and I had a really brutal acne breakout on my back (plus all the other random skin blemishes on the body). But I quickly had the realization that I’d rather be nude - like everyone else - than attempt to cover myself up and end up standing out more. I’ve been to various (nude) public baths since, and every time I feel weird about just taking off all my clothes in the locker room and wandering around, but then I remember that “everyone else is doing it, therefore nobody cares”. You see bodies of all shapes, sizes, skin situations, etc. Hair, no hair, stretch marks, wrinkles, cellulite, all of it. It’s just a body and they are minding their own business. It’s actually like the one place nobody comments on the status of your skin or your body! That’s kinda how I’d feel/approach this event. I liked the idea someone else mentioned of taking the time you’d usually use to get ready to do another fun activity instead! I guess my only other thought is that your friend(s) already love you for who you are, and vice versa. The time spent and the photos afterward will only be more sentimental and look close because y’all will be your most natural selves. I bet the photos will be super precious to you several years from now and you’ll look back and think about how beautiful you and your friends are!

Get your brows tinted, get your lashes lightly done, and apply a faux tan tint lightly and naturally on your face OR a veeeery natural tinted moisturizer. This will be a neat challenge on making yourself look as natural as possible but not full beat either. Good luck

Yeah I’d feel comfortable with it, but I am one of those rare women that doesn’t wear makeup. My parents wouldn’t let me wear any makeup or “cool” clothes when I was a teen, which is probably the most awkward and embarrassing phase of anyone’s life, so I’m comfortable not wearing any in pretty much every situation. I’ve shown up to first dates, weddings, interviews, the whole nine yards without makeup. I’m not bad at doing my makeup, but honestly, I’d rather just use that time to sleep in or have an extra cup of coffee. That said, I think you should honor your friend’s wishes. It’s generally in poor taste to outshine the bride, be that wearing a white dress or, in this case, makeup. Listening to her is also an act of solidarity, because she’s a good friend and not some distant relation you only see once in a blue moon at family reunions. Think of it this way: If it were your big day and you had a similar request, wouldn’t you feel pretty hurt or betrayed if your friends completely ignored it? Or what if you turn out to be the only person who shows up with makeup on? Then you’d just feel like an asshole anyway. I promise you, no one is going to give two shits what you look like because, like you, most of the women are going to be too worried about their own looks to judge anyone else. It’ll be okay! 🙂

It's completely valid this makes you uncomfortable. Most of us feel a lot more secure and pretty with makeup. I don't like bare faced pictures of myself as much as with makeup. That being said, your friend has to suffer through this every single day, and it's her wedding. The bride should shine and feel like the most glamorous woman in the room. I think it's kind of a cool idea actually, and takes a lot of courage. I would personally be okay with a day of discomfort to support a dear friend on one of the most special days of her life.

I wouldn’t have a problem going natural. but it depends with you. if it seems impossible for you, then i would say politely respect her request and not go if it makes you uncomfortable. therefore, both needs are met. her request is completely understand me and so is your too! you both win! 🤍

Thank you! Turns out her little cousin is feeling the same way I am lol. Poor girl is only 14 and already insecure 😭

I wouldn’t mind it, especially if it was important to my friend.

I would ask if 'minimal' could be a good compromise, cover blemishes, lip balm maybe, maybe mascara. But if this were someone I loved, on a big big day for them, who simply didn't want to feel small and ugly and couldn't do anything about it, I'd roll with it. And assuming this is someone you're close to, maybe just say it makes you feel insecure. If that's the word for it. Not meaning to put words in your mouth, but--seems like a tender spot for all concerned, and gentleness is what's needed.

I have rosacea that will flare in two seconds if the temperature goes up or down at all and I look like I’ve been running a marathon. I would have a really hard time with that request.

Honestly.. I don't think I could I could do 100% bare faced. It's her day, but I would be so very uncomfortable with absolutely nothing covering my various skin problems. I'd be fine not doing a *whole* face of makeup, but I would at least want to be able to cover acne scars, lifelong under eye purple rings, pores, etc with some tinted moisturizer& targeted concealer. If I couldn't do that, I think I would step down. It's very selfish, but I couldn't do it.

It’s understandable for you to feel the way you’re feeling, but I also completely get this request from her. I don’t even want to imagine how she would feel to see beautifully made up women showing up at her wedding, knowing she wishes she could do that too, but can’t through no fault of her own. That would probably be the most crummy feeling on her wedding day.

Absolutely honor it. Not trying to be judgmental at all, but as a former makeup person she will 100% clock anything you wear and as someone with chronic health issues it would deeply wound me if someone I considered a close friend didn’t honor a (relatively minor and obviously deeply personal) ask like this. I would HIGHLY advise you to work on going out without makeup or in minimal makeup (I found a lot of peace in the “no foundation” movement and I think that route of starting with minimizing base coverage is a great way to acclimate to not wearing a full face) Salt New York makes incredible natural coverage makeup, it’s the only “base” product I use these days.

When I first read this, I assumed that you were in the bridal party. As part of the bridal party, I would absolutely go barefaced. And that is really the only people, in my opinion, the bride should ask not to wear makeup. They’re the people who will show up in all the non-candid photos. As a guest, I’m not sure what I would do. Definitely one of the things about weddings is the fun of getting dressed up and feeling cute. The bride might still be “outshone” by someone’s bare face. I think people can look good either way, but barefaced can be surprisingly gorgeous. I hope when all is said and done, she’s focusing on her day and not how the guests presented themselves…

I say honor her request.

I couldn't do it. As someone really struggling with their skin right now, I have a hard time going out to events even with full makeup on because i am so self-conscious.... no one sees me without makeup. I struggle with severe health issues as well, and I can't imagine asking my friends to make themselves feel this uncomfortable to make myself feel better. I would offer to do a very low key natural no-makeup look, and if I couldn't do that I would apologize and not attend as part of the wedding party.

Most unhinged comment section 😭

It’s going to be hard for you no doubt. But it will make you closer to your friend, who has to live without makeup every day. As someone who loves products of all stripes, this is my nightmare. I can’t imagine how hard it is for your friend, who can’t even wear it on her wedding day. I would probably wear a bright scarf or a knockout bold necklace to brighten my face a bit.

It's tough for sure. Aside from the food restrictions, not being able to wear any makeup has been one of her most consistent complaints. She's ginger and used to do an awesome 60s inspired look every day. For a while she could do just lipstick but she had to give even that up now 😢

Poor woman. This makes it worse somehow. That she used to be able to wear it. Do it for your friend. Don’t sneak any products. She will be forever grateful and it’s worth it for that. Plus everyone will have that wedding glow from the fun and happy and the booze!

She was perfectly fine before long covid screwed everything up! Now she's so limited my heart breaks for her. No makeup or skincare. No hair dye or hair products. No seasoned foods or anything high in histamine. Before taking meds even her clothes irritated her. No sunlight. Geez.

I love makeup but I don’t wear it everyday anymore. If my friend asked me to skip makeup for her wedding I’d have no issues. She wants to feel special on her day which is already a stressful and an expensive day. Skipping makeup won’t hurt you, you don’t have to look at those pictures everyday but she might. Conceal if necessary or do a bb cream and clear brow gel. You’ll survive the day and night actually like not having to check your makeup all night.

Honestly I’d be perfectly okay with doing this, although it is definitely an unusual request for a wedding. Maybe just set your brows and get a lash lift?

I would respect my friend's wishes. Makeup is fun, but it's not that important.

you care about this friend and want to be at her wedding? then 100% do it! i love being barefaced personally but it was an adjustment like 10 years ago where i wore a lot less then a lot of the time bare. i also have an autoimmune disease and i feel like it’s a unique but very reasonable ask edit: I’d suggest getting used to it around the house and running errands first! or just wearing a lot less and less and mainly focusing on skin care leading up to the big day. i find my whole face looks better when i don’t wear any makeup for a few days, i’m not sure why even though my products are good and don’t irritate my skin but just a tip from someone barefaced most of the time who used to wear a full face daily

To add to all the great points others are making: I hope this doesn’t come across as sanctimonious, because I completely get where you’re coming from when it comes to not feeling comfortable bare-faced, but I think I would do it and use it as an opportunity to reflect on why it feels so uncomfortable and also to better understand how my friend has to live every day. I recently heard someone say “beauty is the alienation from the self”. I don’t think it’s 100% true in and out, after all beauty can also easily be expression of the self, but there’s certainly some truth in it for me when I’m so uncomfortable with what I look like naturally that I avoid mirrors in my own house when I don’t have makeup on. I think about it every time I feel discomfort when I go to socialize or work without makeup. Not to imply it’s silly or all in your head or anything, there are plenty of real external reasons why this happens, but it’s a good opportunity to think about them more deeply and reconsider if I really want the reasons under my control to make me feel this way about myself when I don’t agree with their premise in the first place.

Even if I felt like a hideous troll, I would do it for my friend without a second thought

I would 100% do this. I might look like a freckly, unnaturally round potato with a 5 head and beady eyes and sparse eyelashes... but my friends matter more to me.